Chapter Text
Simon
Of course it’s raining. Again.
I don’t know why I’m up on the ramparts. After curfew. In the rain.
Except I do know, really. Classes started exactly eight weeks ago today. Eight weeks for Baz to plot my downfall. I know he’s out there, somewhere. I’d know if something had happened to him. The whole world would know if something had happened to the Pitch’s last remaining heir.
I’ve been patrolling relentlessly these last weeks, looking for him. I don’t know why I keep looking on the school grounds. I’d have found him by now if he was here. He’s not one to hide away, anyway. If he was plotting my downfall, he’d make sure it was grand and for all to see. He’s always sworn that, to make sure he had an audience when he finally did it.
It’s late now, nearing midnight and I still have homework to finish for tomorrow. Despite not being sent on any missions at all this year, I’m still falling behind in my studies. Even more than most years.
I need to figure out what Baz is up to. My grades won’t matter if he manages to finally kill me because I was too busy studying and not trying to uncover his plot.
I trudge back to our room. I still think of it as ours, Baz’s and mine, even though the first term is halfway over and he still hasn’t bothered to show up. It has been our room since we were eleven, and it will remain that way until we graduate at the end of the year. If we’re alive at the end of the year.
I call on my sword as I’m treading up the stairs of the tower, pricking my finger as I near the top to let myself into the room. It’s easier for me to use blood magic than a spell. My blood and my sword are the only things that I don’t have to worry about working. My magic is another matter completely.
I collapse back against the door as soon as I’m through, frozen, soaked to the bone, and absolutely exhausted. I glance over at his bed, still perfectly made but missing all of the comforters he brings from home every year.
Usually, the entire room smells of him— cedar, bergamot, and something distinctly Baz that I’ve never been able to identify. But now the room smells off, missing the notes that make the room as much his as it does mine.
I sigh and make my way for the en suite, grabbing my school-issued flannel pyjamas on my way. I discard my wet uniform into the hamper with a moist thud and let the shower water run hot. I usually keep the shower water running lukewarm, it feels good on my usually too-hot skin, but I just can’t seem to get warm tonight. I’ve been making my rounds about the grounds the past couple of nights in the cold and unusually wet weather.
I brace my hand against the wall of the shower as a full-body shiver wracks me from head to toe. I turn the knob to make the water even hotter before I realize the water is already as hot as it will allow.
I finish washing up and get out quickly, dressing in my flannel pyjamas before crossing the room to stand beside my bed. I reach up to the window, let my hand sit on the sill a moment before closing it.
Wouldn’t Baz just love that? It’s the first time I’ve voluntarily closed the window in eight years, and he’s not even here to gloat about it.
I climb under my blanket, shivering. Curling into a ball, I continue shaking until my muscles ache. I’ve never felt like this before– cold and aching to my very core.
I look over at Baz’s bed again. It’s hard to see in the dark, but I stare anyway. I’m used to staring at his bed in the dark, but usually he’s in it. I should be able to make out the vague shape of his body buried under too many blankets.
I get up and pace over to his bed, taking up the comforter from his bed and dragging it back over to my own. I settle back into my bed, with the extra blanket. It doesn’t do much more to help me stop shivering, but somehow it vaguely still smells of cedar and bergamot.
I fall asleep to thoughts of Baz being trapped somewhere. Somewhere cold and lonely. His black hair uncharacteristically tangled, eyes grey and murky.
He’s somewhere even his mum’s ghost couldn’t find him.
I need to find him.
~*~*~*~*~
I wake to the feeling of a hand on my forehead. It feels soothing and smells of sage.
Penny.
I know it’s her without even needing to open my eyes.
“What’re you?” My whole body feels heavy, and my body has gone from shivering to feeling like an inferno. I crack an eye open to daylight streaming in through the window. I’ve overslept. I’m not sure how late it is, but Penny is here which probably means I missed breakfast and she was worried.
“Simon! You’re burning up!” She sounds worried, but right now I don’t have it in me to put too much thought into it.
“Get well soon!” I hear her cast as a wave of sage hits me. She knows as well as I do that magic won’t cure common illness, but she’s Penny so she’s tried anyway.
“Penny, stop trying to spell me. I’m just not feeling well, I’ll be fine.” She knows I hate being spelled anyway, especially without permission. She just worries too much.
“Sorry, Si. But you’re really burning up, and you slept through breakfast.” She turns and walks toward the en suite, returning a few moments later with a damp washcloth that she lays across my forehead. It feels so good against my burning skin.
“I want you to rest, I’ll collect your notes and homework for the morning’s classes. I’ll come back to check on you before lunch.” She gives me a forced smile, trying to make me feel better.
“Pen, before you go,” I glance over at Baz’s bed, which I stripped last night to borrow the blanket. “Can you put Baz’s blanket back on his bed for me and make it? I–” I don’t want to tell her that I don’t want to risk Baz coming back to find that I touched his bed. Because he will be back. He has to.
She knowingly takes the discarded blanket from the floor and lays it back on his bed. “As you were!” She casts, as the bed makes itself.
“I’ll be back in a couple hours. Get some rest.” She presses a kiss to the top of my head before leaving me alone in my room.
~*~*~*~*~*
I wake again to Penny. This time she’s gently rubbing my arm.
“Simon? Do you think you can make it down to the dining hall for lunch?” Her voice is gentle but concerned. Like what I imagine her mother’s might be when Penny or one of her siblings are sick.
I haven’t eaten since supper last night, so I could eat.
“I’m starving, actually. So I need to go down. I don’t know how long I’ll be able to stay though.” I still feel exhausted and shaky. Like all of the energy has been siphoned out of me. I vaguely wonder if this is what it feels like for a mage to use up their magic.
Down in the dining hall Penny makes me sit at our usual table with a pot of tea, and hastily goes to get me soup and a couple of scones.
I’ve only just started in on my soup when the doors fly open.
I recognize the figure walking through the door immediately. Tall. Black hair swept back from his forehead. Lips curled back in a sneer… I know that face as well as my own.
Baz.
I try to stand, a bit too quickly. But I’m still weak with fever, and nearly collapse on Penny. She steadies me with a hand on my elbow.
“Honestly, Simon,” she’s griping. I don’t think she’s even bothered to look at who was coming through the hall.
He’s walking slower than normal and looks abnormally pale. Even for Baz, who is always pale on account that he’s a vampire. I feel a pang in my chest that doesn’t make much sense. I shouldn’t be worried about Baz, I need to find out where he’s been.
“Pen–” I try to stand up again, but she’s tugging on my sleeve to keep me down. Normally I would be able to shake her off, but I’m too weak at the moment to put in much of an effort.
She’s finally looking over to where Baz has just sat down with his friends. “Is that–” she trails off, clearly stunned by his sudden appearance but not as invested in finding answers for his absence as I am.
“Eat, Simon,” she commands. I know she’s right, I need to eat and get back up to my room to sleep this off. My body is already starting to feel sluggish and heavy again, a chill running through my bones after Baz’s grand entrance let in a cold November breeze.
I finish what food I can, and allow Penny to lead me back up to my room. Once she finally gets me back into my bed she casts “Cold hands, warm heart!” to help keep me warm while she goes to classes. The spell only works to keep a person warm if they have a warm and caring heart, which I suppose I do. She leaves, promising to be back to get me for dinner. I try to protest, now that Baz is back she can’t be seen coming up here. He’d turn her in, getting her expelled. But she doesn’t listen to me, and apparently has no fear of Baz. Says he wouldn’t dare try to have her expelled, because it would taint his reputation of earning top marks fairly without her for competition.
I settle into my pillows, pulling my blankets up to my chin. Baz’s trunk is at the end of his bed, where it belongs, and the room is already beginning to smell of him. It feels right. I close my eyes, trying to calm my mind. Cedar and bergamot fill my senses, and I feel eerily calm knowing that Baz is back. He looked rough despite his always elegant appearance, but he’s finally here where I can keep an eye on him.