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he knew that going to that party was a complete mistake from the moment his phone lit up showing the invitation, but he also knew that if he didn't show up people would start asking questions and there was no way he could avoid them on monday.
"you're going to be fine" Gina had whispered before leaving him alone in the sea of people dressed in red, yellow and green.
EJ usually enjoyed the stoplight party that Brendan organized every year, he was always dressed completely in green together with the rest of the water polo team and received a lot of attention from boys and girls. but this year things were different and the people who passed him could easily notice it so much.
this year EJ Caswell had attended the party wearing a yellow hoodie, telling everyone that he was unsure of his relationship status.
"is that EJ?"
"why is he dressed in yellow?"
"I thought you said he was available"
those were the things that EJ could hear as he tried to push his way through the people to try to get to the kitchen and finally get some drink that would silence all his thoughts.
he took a deep breath when he finally stopped hearing the voices of people questioning the color of his hoodie. his heart was pounding and he had to start checking his breaths if he didn't want a panic attack in front of almost the entire school. He was staring at his shoes when he heard a voice calling him.
"EJ?" He raised his head to meet Carlos. He was standing between the legs of Seb who was sitting on the kitchen island playing with Carlos's hair. both dressed in red.
EJ began to approach the couple with an uncertain step "hey guys" his voice sounded lower than he would have liked.
"we thought you weren't going to come" Seb spoke before resting his chin on Carlos's head.
"that's what you said" Carlos smiled at him before speaking again "it's a surprise to see you here"
"Gina forced me to come at the last moment" he sighed before hiding his hands in his hoodie pocket "you know how she is, she behaves as if she was my mom since I moved to Ashlyn's house with them"
"it must be fun living with Ashlyn and Gina" EJ didn't overlook as Seb's eyes took a tour of his outfit.
"yes ..." EJ knew what was coming, Carlos and Seb seemed to share a brain "so yellow, right?"
EJ shrugged as he looked down again, hating himself for feeling so small in front of Carlos and Seb, the sweetest people in school "I guess"
Carlos took his hand gently and when he looked up he met them both smiling at him softly "that's fine, EJ"
"also, yellow suits you"
EJ chuckled before speaking again "thanks Seb" stepped back "I must go find someone"
he felt a little bad lying to Carlos and Seb, but when they both nodded and let him go, he knew he had made the right decision.
EJ left the kitchen as fast as he could, earning furrowed brows and some insults from the people near the door, only managed to whisper a soft 'sorry' before fleeing to the backyard.
he tried to get through the sea of people as fast as he could and tried not to hear the comments about him clothing while walking.
luckily the backyard was big enough to make it seem like there were less people there.
he swept the place until his eyes found outdoor chairs, where Nini comfortably occupied one. the girl smiled at him and asked him to come over with her hand. EJ hid his hands in his pants pockets and approached carefully not to trip over any of the boys who were already dancing without shame thanks to the alcohol in their system.
"hey!" Nini said when he was close enough to speak to him without the need to raise her voice so much "we are twins!"
EJ could feel his ears start to burn before turning his gaze to the tree that was further down the patio "it seems so"
he fixed his gaze on Nini again to realize that she had attended the party wearing a yellow jacket and vans of the same color that made her heart skip a beat.
she patted the spot next to her and he sat there "You have nothing to be ashamed of, Elijah"
EJ lowered his gaze and fixed it on his hands before giving a sour laugh "everyone looks at me like I'm a weirdo" he never knew what Nini had that made it so easy for him to open up with her, but there he was again, at about to unwrap all his feelings "everyone talks about me like I can't hear them when I'm next to them"
Nini put a hand on his knee in the form of support and gave him a light squeeze "surely they are puzzled" she shrugged before continuing to speak "you tend to be the greatest conqueror of these parties, right?" EJ nodded slowly "so I think it's normal for them to be a little confused by the color you're wearing tonight"
"but that doesn't give them the right to talk about me like I'm not in the same room" EJ's breathing started to get heavier "I just want them to shut up"
"EJ…"
whatever Nini was going to say was interrupted by Kaden's sudden meddling.
"I'm sorry to interrupt but I need a quick marker"
Nini frowned "what the heck do you need a marker for at a party?"
"Big Red just fell asleep over there" EJ looked at the point where Kaden was aiming to realize that indeed a very green Big Red was asleep on the ground "Steph and I wanted to draw him a mustache"
"is he drunk?" EJ asked slightly concerned, perhaps he could use Big Red as an excuse to leave the party if he wasn't feeling well.
"no, he just drank water" Kaden shrugged with a smile on his face "I think he said he hadn't slept well or something and that he wanted to get some rest"
"on the ground?" now Nini was smiling too.
EJ took advantage of the situation to escape "we will talk later, Nini" was all he said before getting up and going back inside the house.
he could hear Nini yelling at him to come back but ignored her and continued on his way.
this time he went to the second floor of the house. if he was lucky enough, no couple would be in the bathroom and could hide there until Gina texted him where he was.
after dodging a few drunks and couples, he managed to find the bathroom door. for his fortune, it was open to him.
without hesitation he ducked into the room as fast as he could and locked the door behind him before dropping onto the floor. he hugged his legs to his chest and hid his face on his knees.
his thoughts began to settle until he heard the shower curtain suddenly slide open and he started screaming in fear when he saw Kourtney come out. Kourtney started screaming too when she saw EJ sitting on the bathroom floor. a third yelled joined theirs and Ashlyn showed herself.
"what are you doing here?" Kourtney yelled at him when the three of them calmed down.
"what are you doing here?" was the only answer EJ could think of.
"I think that's pretty obvious, Elijah" this time it was Ashlyn's turn to speak.
"is your name Elijah?" Kourtney asked.
"thanks Ash" EJ ignored Kourtney's question and looked at his cousin "when you said you were going to come in red I thought you were doing it because you weren't interested in anyone"
"that's right" Ashlyn shrugged "I'm not interested in anyone"
"nobody except me" interrupted Kourtney.
"exactly"
as the girls explained their love situation, of which he had no idea, EJ had the opportunity to get up from the floor and open the door without them noticing.
"that's beautiful, girls, but I must go now" EJ opened the door ready to leave but still managed to listen to his cousin before doing so.
"stop running away from your problems, EJ"
he didn't want to hear any more and closed the door behind him and went to the end of the hall. he knew that this was Brendan's room and that he didn't allow anyone to enter there to have sex, so he thought it was the best place to hide from his friends and to breathe easy.
when he finally managed to enter the room and shut himself in there, he released all the air that was retained in his lungs.
finally allowed himself to breathe a little.
until he heard a laugh.
he tried to swallow but he felt it get stuck in the middle of his throat.
his heart began to beat so hard that he thought it would leap from his chest.
he began to go deeper into the room slowly because his legs were shaking.
and there he was, his curls messed up just like when he was playing with them. his lips seemed to be swollen in the same way as when they kissed for hours in his bed. he had a girl sitting on his lap, just as he did when he tried to distract him from his video game so that he paid attention to him.
sitting on the bed in the room was Ricky Bowen with a girl sitting on his lap. dressed in green.
questions began to invade his head. why would Ricky go to the party dressed in green? yes, they weren't official boyfriends but they had something together, right? so why would Ricky do that while he had to endure everyone's gaze?
"Ricky?" his brain reacted too late to shut up his mouth, gaining both eyes.
"EJ?" Ricky's gaze fell on him and he knew he wasn't even drunk.
"are you coming to join us EJ?" Ricky wasn't drunk but the girl was.
he put his gaze on her and with his heart in his hand he said "no, he is all yours. enjoy it"
having said that, he wiped away the tear that ran down his cheek, turned, and left the room, slamming the door.
his eyesight blurred due to the tears that were gathering uncontrollably in his eyes. he somehow managed to go down the stairs without tripping and falling, but he failed to see the red spot in time and avoid colliding with it.
"EJ?" he tried to calm down when he heard her voice but it was impossible.
"not now, Gina" he turned his gaze so that she didn't see the tears but he knew that it was impossible that she hadn't seen them "I want to go"
"okay but you can't drive like this" she took EJ's face in her hands and forced him to see her "go outside, take some air and wait for me there, I'll go for Ashlyn and we'll leave here, okay?" EJ simply nodded, not having the strength to speak.
Gina bolted up the stairs and left EJ alone again. he realized that there were more eyes on him now. all he did was put on the hood of his hoodie, look down, and start walking to the front door of the house.
he felt a little relieved when he finally managed to get out of the house, let his lungs fill with fresh air and the cold night breeze dried the tears that were still on his cheeks.
he decided to wait for Gina and Ashlyn on the sidewalk outside the house. he felt a little bad about ruining the night for them, Ashlyn was having a good time with Kourtney and he knew that Gina wanted to take advantage of the night to clear things up with Nini after the last argument they had. but in his defense, he didn't want to go to that party in the first place and now he couldn't stop regretting having listened to Gina.
EJ heard the door behind him open and a few steps closer to him "couldn't you find Ashlyn?" he asked without turning around.
"I wasn't looking for Ashlyn" suddenly the air became colder and stabbed into her lungs like knives made of ice, just to hear his voice "I was looking for you"
"are you done with that girl yet?" EJ laughed without a hint of grace "that was fast, good that I never slept with you"
"EJ, can you let me explain things?" Ricky sat next to him but EJ didn't dare look at him.
"explain what? that I'm a cock blocker?"
"you don't even know what was going on there"
"it seemed pretty obvious what was going on"
EJ heard Ricky sigh heavily. after that he felt Ricky put his arm around his shoulders and draw him until EJ's face was buried in his chest.
"I spilled a drink on her and asked Brendan if we could go to his room to help her dry her blouse" Ricky explained before EJ could push him.
"that is a good tactic to get a room, I will remember it the next year"
"EJ..."
"She was on your lap, Ricky" EJ didn't have the strength to get away from Ricky, his body was starting to shake and the tears were accumulating in his eyes again "besides, you came green"
"she thought the same as you and thought I wanted to sleep with her, I was trying to stop her when you entered the room" Ricky started to tangle his fingers gently in EJ's hair "and I came green because I thought you would too. we have not clarified who we are yet "
"that's what yellow is for, dickhead" EJ whispered "why are your lips swollen if you were doing nothing?"
"I've been drinking ice soda all night because Nini won't let me drink alcohol" Ricky laughed lightly "they're more numb than bloated"
"so..."
"it was all a misunderstanding"
EJ looked up to find Ricky smiling broadly at him.
"can we forget that I did all this teen drama and just kiss?" EJ's question made Ricky laugh out loud and EJ could only smile.
"god, you were seriously born to be a theater guy" Ricky leaned down to put a chaste kiss on EJ's lips "tell me you want me to stay all night and I will"
EJ took Ricky by the neck and whispered against his lips "stay forever" and sealed the promise with a kiss.