Chapter Text
A deep sigh escaped Izuku's lips, falling from his mouth with a heaviness he had yet to properly address. His desk was covered in written insults, chewed gum, and... what even was that?!
Izuku decided not to think about it too long and instead just grabbed a cloth from the teacher's supply closet. It was always left unlocked - though he wasn't sure if that was an accident or if the teachers actually felt sympathy for him. Either way, it made his life easier, so he wasn't going to mention it.
He glanced at the clock and got to work scrubbing his desk clean. He had 10 minutes before people would start arriving for class, and so he let his mind wander as he pressed the cloth into the desk, surrendering his awareness and allowing his body to move on auto-pilot.
A few weeks ago, he'd had both the best and worst day of his life. The worst because he'd fallen apart and been the one to unintentionally bring harm to Kacchan. The best because he'd finally been told, after all these years, that his dream was within reach.
Since then, life had been absolute hell, but it wasn't anything he couldn't handle. Izuku always knew he'd have to work harder than others. It was a lesson taught to him at only four years old- in the cruelest way possible, because life was just like that.
Despite the unfairness and mistreatment, however, he persevered. When his heart began to fracture, he taped it back together with delusory dreams and pretty lies. When his lips began twitching downward, he manufactured a smile out of leftover sunlight and sewed it into his skin. And when it all became too much, when hot tears would start leaving cold tracks on his cheeks, he would lock himself in his room at night and paint the pale skin of his forearms red with slick metal, hiding the evidence beneath layers of clothing so no one would worry.
He knew it wasn't healthy, but it was the only way he knew how to live, and the only way to keep others from worrying about him. He would be okay as long as no one saw beneath his mask. He couldn't handle it if his suffering started dragging those around him down, too. Especially his mother. She didn't deserve that.
He was broken out of his thoughts at the sound of a door slamming wide open, which caused Izuku to nearly jump out of his skin. Heavy footsteps thudded their way over to Izuku and the green haired boy didn't have to look up to know who it was.
"The fuck are you doin', nerd?" Came the low growl of a particular angry blonde. Slowly, Izuku lifted his eyes from the white-knuckled grip he had on the white cloth over his now-clean desk and up to angry red eyes.
Which were steadily getting angrier.
"Oi! Are you deaf or just ignoring me, bastard?" He asked, voice low and gravelly with warning.
"A-Ah,n-no! Of c-course not Kacchan! I just- I was just cleaning my desk because it was a little dirty, see, and I guess I was just a bit lost in thought and-" Izuku started to ramble, his nervousness creeping in and taking control of his vocal cords. Kacchan got even angrier the longer it went on, shoulders tensing and hands clenching into tight fists until finally-
"Shut the fuck up! I don't actually give a shit what you were doing! Just get out of my way, damned nerd!" Kacchan bellowed, fists already rising and unfurling to release threatening explosions and an almost comically large scowl on his face.
Izuku flinched at the bright sparks dancing in the other's palm, hands flying up and legs backing up on instinct. Kacchan simply scoffed and rolled his eyes at this show of weakness before walking to his desk, brushing Izuku's shoulder harshly with his own on his way.
Izuku, thoroughly defeated, simply threw away the soiled cloth and sat down at his desk, mentally preparing himself for the rest of the day.
It'll be okay. You're okay. Just stay positive. Take notes, work out, go home. Easy.
With a newfound spark of determination flickering to life inside him, Izuku nodded his head, put his game face on, and pulled out his notes- despite the tiredness clawing at the backs of his eyelids.
•○•
Izuku managed to get out of school with only a few minor bruises, today's bullies having shown some restraint. The day overall, however, had gone about as well as he'd expected it to- his determination holding strong right up until lunch where he was, once again, humiliated and made to sit by himself on the roof. He tried to get his fire back afterward, but like every other day before, he just couldn't bring that flame to life again.
Izuku shook his head- no point in dwelling on that now. He had to meet All Might at the beach so he could train his body.
It was honestly much more tiring than he'd originally thought it would be, but he wouldn't give up. He wanted to be a hero more than anything, and if he had to give up some sleep and comfort to do so, then he would.
He arrived at the beach park not much later and smiled when he saw All Might. The inordinate amount of exercise was daunting, but being around his idol made him feel safe and comforted- feelings he didn't experience very often otherwise.
"Midoriya, my boy!" All Might called from atop his perch on a nearby fridge, in his muscle form.
Said green-haired boy jogged his way over, admiration already sparkling in his eyes.
"All Might!" He called back once he was standing in front of him. All Might laughed, spewed blood, and reverted back to his skinnier form, eliciting a yelp from Izuku. It was still a little shocking to see his mentor change in appearance so drastically and suddenly.
All Might hoped down from the fridge, already pulling out Izuku's schedule and giving instructions to the smaller male.
Izuku did as he was told, bending over to lift and drag heavy objects. It hurt- a lot. The muscle fibers were tearing in order to create newer, stronger ones, and it hurt. Izuku's body was weak and beaten, any kind of exercise would hurt, but the strenuous activity he was kept doing felt like it was killing him.
He wouldn't complain, though. These were the necessary steps to becoming a hero, and he'd be damned if he let something like pain or exhaustion keep him from getting there.
With great difficulty, he managed to clear the area All Might had specified by the time the sun was setting. Sweat dripped from his brow, his muscles felt like they were seizing beneath the fabric of his over-heated hoody, and his lungs, he was sure, were about to give out. He collapsed to his knees, breathe heavy and erratic.
All Might knelt down next to him.
"You did great, Young Midoriya! I know it's hard, but you have to stay strong and stick to it, alright? You can do it!" He said, temporarily shifting into his muscle form and offering a thumbs up as way of encouragement. Izuku smiled up at him, appreciative of the work and belief All Might was putting into him. It made him feel like he mattered, at least a little.
Izuku reached up to run his hand through sweaty curls and his hoodie sleeve drooped slightly, soaked with sweat. The edges of crisp white bandages peeked out from underneath the sleeve, gaining a confused look from All Might, who now was back to normal, and an outstretched hand. Izuku jerked back when he realized the hero was about to pull back his sleeve and slapped on a wobbly smile, feeble lies spilling from his lips in a never-ending torrent until finally All Might simply put his hands up and smiled warmly at the boy.
"All right, all right, I get it! I won't ask as long as you promise me you're alright, okay kid?" He said, sincerity shining in his eyes and a genuineness in his words you couldn't fake. Izuku smiled warmly back, his body relaxing with relief and his chest swelling with unadulterated admiration for his idol.
"Yes, All Might!" He agreed, and he didn't feel like he was lying. The cutting, which he knows isn't healthy per se, also isn't really bad for him, right? He's never had to go to the hospital for it or anything like that. It helps him relieve the stress, and as long as he takes care of the cuts afterward, then it's fine, right? (It's not fine, and he's not fine, but he can't quite admit that to himself- the prospect being far too daunting for him to face)
All Might sighed and placed a hand on his shoulder.
"All right, but if you ever need to talk to somebody... I am here!" He said, smiling as wide as he can in his current form, sunken eyes crinkling at the corners with the force of it.
"Now go home, I'm sure your mother would love to see you." He said, and Izuku did.
What Izuku didn't do was tell All Might that his mother would have no clue he was even gone. By the time she got home, Izuku would be fast asleep in bed already.