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Nagi already passed out on our large bed, Hina and I laid side by side. For a few moments we just stayed in a comfortable silence, well except for Nagi’s calm and even breathing. We both were clearly exhausted from playing the games and just letting ourselves be silly for once, it was nice, yet neither of us were ready to sleep.
Eventually, Hina spoke up, voice softer and more timid than normal, “Would you like the rain to stop?”
Yes, yes absolutely. I want sunshine again, I miss the sun. Though I did not voice my first thoughts aloud. If the rain is gone… then that would mean- that would mean the sacrifice would be complete. And I just, I can not let that happen. I can not let Hina sacrifice herself just for some sun. Even if the sun was in the sky, everything would be so much colder without Hina here.
I went against my instinct to say yes, absolutely. Though I had been about to, I opened my mouth to answer before closing it again. The rain stopping means she would have to be a Sunshine girl one last time, it means she would have to go. I would rather it rain down tsunamis, I would rather another Noah flood than to lose Hina over somethung as stupid as water. The world would go on with some rain but my world would stop without her.
Looking at her completely seriously, I answered, “No,” with the question clear in her eyes I kept going, “I want it to keep raining,” before she could interrupt with her endless selflessness I continued, “I don’t want to lose you, Hina. I can’t lose you,” I’m not above begging, “Please, let the rains keep going, don’t stop it, if you do you’ll go,” I didn’t mean for my voice to crack. “Please Hina,” I shamelessly begged her, the tears already springing up in my eyes, hopefully she won’t think I’m childish acting even younger than I am.
She let out a deep sigh, sounding much older than she is, I hate when she sounds so old it makes her too grown up and selfless, “Hodaka-” I cut her off.
“No!” I quickly lowered my voice before Nagi could wake up, shocking he had not already upon my outburst , “no, please live for yourself for once. All you’ve ever done is work to help everyone else, taking care of your brother and being a Sunshine girl, and I know the Sunshine girl part is my fault, but still,” I’m getting off course, I need to focus on the issue at hand, not my past stupidity, “You are the most selfless person I know, hell, you gave me a burger when I was starving and alone. But now you need to live for yourself, you deserve it.”
Please let her stay, please if there’s anyone listening in the universe, let her stay. It’s not right that she should be made into a sacrifice just because of how amazing and unique she is. Her powers should not be a punishment, they shouldn’t have a cost when she only uses them to help people!
“I’m meant to be a sacrifice,” she said it as if I don’t already know that, as if I’m not dreading it every second.
Hearing her say the words aloud made the tears that were still pressing at my eyes begin to leak, “I don’t care. I love you Hina, and I love Nagi, we’re supposed to be a family. A family, we can’t do that if you’re gone.”
She watched as I laid before her crying, begging, pleading for her to once in her life just live for herself and be selfish, to take care of herself first.
Though she looked like she wanted to say more, she breathed out, “Okay…” I could not help myself, I shifted forward and pulled her into a hug, if I could, I would never ever let her go. And I could only hope she felt the same.
Then it hit me, “we can’t stay here.”
She pulled back to look me in the eyes, I already miss the hug, “I know, that’s why we’ll be leaving in the morning.”
I shook my head, despite us laying on our sides, “No- I just, I have a bad feeling. I don’t want to risk anything. I think we should leave tonight instead of the morning.” I just, I can not trust her to be able to fight off her selfless urges during the night. I would rather never sleep again if it meant I could make sure she did not become a sacrifice.
After a few more breaths of thought, she nodded, “okay.” Hina sat up, crawling over to Nagi. She put her hand on his shoulder, gently waking him up. I sat up too, looking around the room for what we’ll need to bring with us. The hardest part was not packing up the mess we made and getting ready to head out, no, no it was trying to keep Nagi awake.
In the end, we decided that I would carry Nagi piggy back style, and Hina would try to carry as much as she could. Sadly, we were stupid enough to eat most of our food earlier, but that’s fine. We'll be fine. As long as Hina stays…
Leaving the hotel, we could not tell if it was night or morning, the rain making everything a lot darker and more gloomy, but we kept on walking. I’ll take the rain and gloom every day the rest of my life if I need to. I’ll gladly accept it.
Our little family trekked through the city, avoiding as many people as we could in case they would recognize me from the video. I ignored the fatigue from carrying the boy on my back, I ignored the cold from the rain. And I’ll keep ignoring it as long as I can.
And we will keep walking until we are safe together.