Chapter Text
Maybe Larry imagined that look of disgust belonging to his friend when he waved from his station. Yeah, the lighting was bad here, that probably made that bright smile look like a frown. That was it...right?
“Hey Nick! Wassup?”
But he hadn’t. That look had faded quickly, but he knew it was still there. Lingering, like the smell of (fresh blood) smoke from a day-past cigarette. He was used to it. Nicky wasn’t the best at showing his kindness, but Larry knew that he cared about him...right?
“We’re investigating the Bullard murder case.”
The words from his friend seemed to suffocate him. Well, only three of those words. Bullard murder case… His boss. Probably the only guy who actually talks to him nowadays. Ah, it should be talked, huh? His hands moved to fidget with the too-long sleeves of his thrift-store coat.
“...Huh? Oh yeah! That’s right! You’re a lawyer, aren't you? Well, if it’s about the murder case, boy have I got some good info for you!”
But there were no too-long sleeves there. He’d almost forgotten he was wearing his KB Security uniform, a light blue too tight button-up shirt with a darker blue tie and slacks. So instead they shifted to his pockets.
“So, what’s this ‘good info’ you were talking about, Larry?”
Larry was only silent. Did Nicky only care about some goddamn info? It probably wasn’t of any use, anyways; he’d been told on the first day that a guy named Ron DeLite was fired from his position. But it could be of use...once Kaney (was murdered) left, he had found himself thinking about it. A man getting fired had to have anger to kill someone! He should know, losing people and jobs sure fucking hurt. That DeLite guy had to have killed Kaney.
“Hmm...well, I don’t mind sharing with the police. But Nick, it’s a different story for you.”
Why did he say that? Nick was his friend. He shouldn’t be hiding things from friends. But this suffocating feeling just wouldn’t go away. He wanted all to be over. He wanted this fucking charade to be done. He wanted someone to just tell him it was okay.
“But Larry, I thought you two were old school buddies…”
Maya chipped into his heart, but all it did was forge a wall around it. He could feel a burning in his head and he just wanted it all to be over. He was done with this. Why couldn’t his life just be over?
“That was then and this is now. Please leave.”
He wanted them to leave so he could cry in peace. He was tired and scared and he just wanted to be alone, was that too much to ask?
“You were in this office when the murder took place, wern’t you?”
Apparently it was too much to ask. Thanks a lot, Phoenix. His hands moved from out of his pocket to clutching the collar of his shirt.
“Wh-Why do you say that? This is just a part-time job for me! And I can’t operate the equipment! And I’m dumb!”
It was all true. He was dumb enough to let Kaney die. He should have been able to just sit in a fucking chair and look at those stupid monitors. It was a simple task, and he should have been able to do it. But no, he didn’t. He didn’t do something that a raccoon probably could have done, and he didn’t deserve to even be here...not after what he did.
“Even if it is a part-time and you are dumb, you’re still in charge of security here!”
Larry couldn’t help but notice that his friend, if he even was his friend, didn’t bother to contest his stupidity. Figures. It was a fact that if something smells, it was always him. The Butz, every single fucking time. Why not pin him for murder? Why don’t he gather everyone in the whole damn world just to point a finger and mock him?
“Hey, gimme a break! Don’t try to pin the whole thing on me! That’s not fair, Nick!”
His voice had raised to a yell now, but he refused to let it crack. He wouldn’t give Phoenix more ammo to shoot him with. The tears threatened to come out, but he stayed silent, biting his lip to stop himself from talking. He didn’t deserve to be angry at his friend. He only deserved shame. He was just a stupid guy who let his boss die on his watch.
“...Huh? ...Larry, I want you to tell me about the night of the murder.”
Before he could even think about it, his hand was meeting Phoenix’s face. The tears were coming down now. He was shaking, like a cherry blossom tree in the spring winds. He deserved this. He was a horrible stupid person, and he deserved to be shunned and shamed like the pathetic man he was.
“Just stop! I know I’m-I’m a fucking idiot and a h-horrible person...just p-please...just-just stop…it’s my fault Kaney died…”
He neglected his job because of that girl. Donna, who had asked to talk to him during his shift. Her boyfriend, who had punched him. He had left his station because he believed he could still find love. Well, obviously, he didn’t deserve that. He just wanted it all to be over, please just make it all end, please…
“Larry, what the hell!?!”
Despite Maya’s protests, Phoenix only spun on his heel and walked out the door without another word. Larry was on his knees now, sobbing like a fucking child. How pathetic. He couldn’t see Maya give him a pitying look, but he heard the clicking of her sandals as she left. He deserved that, didn’t he? He only deserved to suffer. He could die...would that make everything right?
Maybe that would.