Chapter Text
Ochako felt it three times. She felt burnt out, tired to her core. tired of always trying so hard and getting nowhere. Gravity was what tied everyone down to earth. She had control over it, but there was only so much she could do. It scared her that one day, she might reach a point where she could improve no more simply because there was so little she seemed to be able to do with what she had. It's not like she was ungrateful, but she'd never been as resourceful as Deku, Bakugo, lida or anyone else she knew.
She'd come far, no doubt, but what next? She could only improve so much. Her quirk wasn't that versatile. Unless she touched someone, she was powerless. That was why she'd learnt Gunhead's martial arts, but it was generally the same with that. she could train her quirk as much as she wanted, but unless she touched someone and was able to use her quirk, that was pointless. No important villain would let her get close enough.
There was a bitter aftertaste to the thought.
"She has a lot of potential,"
"Your daughter will be a very strong hero when she grows up,"
"Look how determined she is!'
"Ochako, you're gonna follow your dreams,"
"You'll make us proud, baby girl,"
Ochako clutched the sheets and scrunched her fists. God, when would these insecurities stop messing with her head? but it was no use, it was dark and silent and lonely and nothing like home. And the drive and fire had drained out and she was tired. It was never easy, she knew. But it hurt to never be enough.
Despite the exhaustion, her body wasn't tired. It was the heart that hurt, and if her body hurt even half as much then at least it would drown out the voices in her head. Being a child was so easy, there was so much to explore and discover and improve and hope for, but what was she supposed to do when she came to her limits? When there was nothing more, and she had to just stop.
The floorboards creaked under her weight, as she slipped on her coat and too-small shoes and stood at the window. Taking a breath, she glanced up.
She thought the stars were beautiful. She was tired of thinking 'if only I didn't get sick after decreasing my own weight, I'd fly next to them and accompany them for the night'. She hated the feeling of having nothing to lose, but it felt like she was there. Just for tonight. These nights were the worst and best, where she saw the harsh realities and hated herself and longed for something more.
She inhaled and stepped off gracefully. Her body picked up speed as she dove towards the concrete below, and in a split-second, she was headed towards the twinkling diamonds studded in the dim dark of the sky.
The wind blew her hair back, the rush and excitement fighting against the queasy feeling in her stomach, even though that was getting stronger. This felt like really living, like she was alive. The sky, the top; she belonged up here, too. She wanted everyone to see.
When it got too much and she felt like she was going to throw up, she gently landed in front of UA's gym. She checked the time on her phone. 4:16. She briefly wondered how long she'd spent flying and how she'd managed to not vomit everywhere for so long. A disturbing thought crossed her mind; what if she used her quirk and vomited at the same time, the thought itself almost gross enough to make her throw up even without using her quirk. She shook her thoughts off, people would show up soon. She wasn't stupid, she knew the more intense students woke up early. It meant having fewer people to disturb you, yes, although not complete isolation, unless you woke up earlier than five. Which, admittedly, Ochako had.
And Ochako wasn't the most self-conscious person out there; she looked decent, had an okay quirk-okay, that was the thing she did get self-conscious over a lot, too much, sometimes, but it was pretty much the only thing she felt this way towards, which was better than most-and maybe, she came from a poor family, but that wasn't her own fault. She could stand up for herself, and normally, she saw things in a positive light, but even heroes can't be strong every second, and sometimes, she would be quiet and subdued, a little self-doubting and tired. She may not show it, a smile always present no matter how difficult to muster, but she felt these things like any other normal human being.
Either way, she didn't often doubt herself, but she didn't like people watching her train unless it helped her get better. It was weird to know people were there while you were training, or to have someone watch you train for no reason. Jumping out of her thoughts, she decided to do a little exercise and better learn her limitations.
She stretched her body, warming up with a light jog. Her body strained, and she knew that really, she'd rather get into bed and mope and be insecure but not do anything about it. Maybe if she really had to, do her homework. Get smarter. But waking up early and training? She didn't do that often, but she was here, and if she wanted to be a pro, she had to push herself to the brink. Go beyond; plus ultra.
That's what Aizawa-sensei has taught us to do.
Ochako huffed in irritation, unsure why she couldn't pass the cursed three-ton limit of hers. It seriously frustrated her to no end. This was why that little shred of self-doubt existed, the self-loathing stemmed from the feeling of helplessness and her own weaknesses. This stupid quirk had so many flaws, and she couldn't even use it without huge drawbacks. Not to mention, disgusting drawbacks. She pushed the thoughts away with a little effort.
As the sun began to rise-taking its sweet time-in the dim, scarlet, students had already begun to trickle in. First Todoroki, slightly surprised at seeing her there, he went about his own thing with a nod of acknowledgement. Then Bakugo, who yelled at her about taking his personal space, which wasn't even true but whatever, proceeding to do the same with an indifferent Todoroki. Ochako realised that if she woke up early to train more often, this might become part of her routine anyway.
Of course, when Deku came, he openly showed his shock and joy at her being there to greet him, making Ochako's stomach flutter with that familiar feeling, and Bakugo was even more furious. He was tense the whole time as she and Deku exchanged pleasantries. Of course, he likely saw no need for them, and also, he hated everything Deku did, so.
Ochako shocked everyone, including herself, further by inviting Deku to spar with her. At first, he refused.
In the back of her mind, a darker part of her hated that he didn't see her as equal. No, she'd never proved herself worthy, not like Todoroki, or momo, or bakugo, or even lida, to anyone. It hurt but she herself was to blame for the lack of trying. But she didn't let it show; that, at least, was something she was good at. Instead, she pouted and insisted. Eventually, he agreed and while she was sure he would hold back, but maybe, just maybe, she could give him a decent fight, just this once.
From the side, Bakugo scoffed at the two. "Quit your flirting, you damn nerds,"
Ochako's cheeks burned up, even though it hurt more than anything else. Deku, on the other hand, just spluttered nonsense, flustered. Ochako tenderly placed a hand on his shoulder, relishing in the tingles it sent up her arm,
"Focus on me," And with all five fingers, she let him float as she smiled, although subdued from all the dark thoughts that ran in her head. He blushed but he had that fire in his eyes.
Adrenaline rushed through Ochako; being the reason behind that look was the best. She wasn't made for heroism or battle like he was, but she liked this. She loved this, too, if a little less than him.
She pushed her fingers together, "release."
As she expected, instead of falling, he landed perfectly on his feet, even creating a dent in the concrete.
"Deku, you should try not to destroy school property! This is just a little spar, don't get too serious," Ochako scolded, even though her voice was not as stern as she'd intended.
"S-sorry!' He said, sheepishly. He didn't attempt to attack first, pulling his punches. Even though Ochako knew she just told him not to get too serious, she wished he would try a little harder, it felt like all the effort she put in was nothing to him. She knew he didn't mean to make her feel that way, but she couldn't help herself.
But she'd keep quiet about it.
Using the debris around her to attack him, he simply evaded each and everything she threw at him. It took her energy, although she knew it was because she had used her quirk on herself to fly and had been exercising and that was why she was weary more easily than normal, it still irritated her. That little part of her mind wouldn't shut up either.
Is this all you've got, 'Chako? You're not enough.
Get stronger. Push yourself, harder. Harder
Not enough.
Not
Enough
She had no idea how it happened. One moment, her hands glowed pink, throwing equipment at him, next they were white. Her mind was black, and her body was sore and more fatigued than it had ever been and her hands glowed white and Deku was down and struggling to breathe, and so was she. And it was crushing her lungs, her heart. it hurt.
The world went dark.
She awoke with a gasp. That stupid voice would never, ever leave her alone, even when she was tired to the point that even her bones were aching. A concerned Deku was the first person she saw, and internally she simultaneously groaned and swelled in delight at seeing him. He had come to check up on her? She noticed Recovery girl next, and realised she was in the infirmary. She couldn't clearly remember what had happened, just being suffocated and hurt, and concerned voices catching her as her world faded.
she also caught lida, he probably would also have come to train, she supposed. What surprised her was seeing Bakugo, Todoroki and Shinso. They had no need to waste time to check up on her. Her mind swam in confusion; there had to be a good reason for them to be here.
"W-what happened?' she croaked, wincing at how dead on her feet she still sounded.
With wide, teary eyes, Deku hugged her, lida joining in. She heard a 'tch' from Bakugo and ignored it.
"You had already fainted when I arrived for my morning training," lida explained, dutifully as ever.
Deku and the other two boys who'd witnessed what had happened remained silent, however.
After a bit of awkward silence, Recovery girl sighed. She looked into Ochako's eyes and said words that shook Ochako to the core.
"Your quirk...it was classified wrongly. Misclassified, miscategorised. Whatever you prefer to call it. Either way, your quirk is not zero gravity."
Ochako swallowed, the news shocking and yet, relief coursed through her. A little part of her felt like she already knew, as though she'd always known. But she swore she hadn't, or she would've worked harder.
Push yourself, harder. Harder
'shut up', Ochako internally screamed.
"Then, what is my quirk?'
"...gravity manipulation,"
Ochako furrowed her eyebrows. "What's the difference?'
Deku laughed an empty laugh, "Uraraka, you...increased my gravity to a point where you were crushing my body. When I strained against it, I could barely breathe, let alone get up. And then you fainted."
She remembered! How Deku had suddenly collapsed. And how she... "I felt like I was being suffocated, and my mind had gone blank. All I remember is being angry, and then Deku falling and just...nothing."
"...god, round face, what the fuck," Bakugo muttered to himself-or maybe to her, she wasn't sure-in disbelief. Even Todoroki and Shinso, two of the most unexpressive and indifferent people, looked pretty shocked.
And that was something.
"But, it's not possible, right? How...this is the point where everyone kind of-you know, just settles down with their quirk, how can they further manifest a dual quirk?'
Bakugo snorted, a look she couldn't decipher in his eyes, and said, "Dual quirk is one thing. This fucking nerd, he developed a whole new quirk. I can't say I'm more surprised than that."
"Pfft, that's why you're all here," Ochako chuckled, although it sounded kind of hollow.
There were so many possibilities, but...this power had laid dormant inside her for a good fifteen years. That was a bit scary. She was strong, and she was weak. She wasn't really sure how to feel about that.
"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?' Bakugo narrowed his eyes as if she'd lowered him or said something to insult him. Todoroki and Shinso looked more apologetic, but really, she wasn't mad.
"I mean, like, if there wasn't something to do with my quirk or something that had to do with you or you had personal interest in knowing, you wouldn't waste training time to come here. That's all! Nothing terrible, I mean, same goes for me." She rambled, nervous she might have offended them.
Bakugo 'tch'ed, but didn't deny it. Ochako smiled a little, entertained by her classmate's-dare she say, ally's-actions.
When they'd all left, with more tears from Deku and concern from lida, she finally relaxed and let her thoughts on her new power run wild. Recovery girl interrupted her train of thoughts with a sigh, then Ochako watch Recovery girl turn to her and say,
"I know that this is going to be a lot to take in. To have a dual power all along. Your power gets listed as zero gravity everywhere you go, and that's what you're familiar with. I get it, and even for me, this is a rare case and I'm also unsure how to approach it except that, first of all, we now need to record your quirk as gravity manipulation. But. You're a strong hero, part of the top hero school and on top of that, top class. This means your quirk is more versatile and while you'll have to start from scratch with this strange, new power inside you, I know that you're going to be okay. Of course, some of our teachers want to discuss this, so you'll have to stay here for today, and possibly tomorrow. I promise you're going to be okay, plus, by Wednesday you can definitely go back to class. I'll make sure of it, so don't sweat it. This is just another obstacle, and it's going to make you stronger, that much we both know."
Even though her future seemed new and unfamiliar and a little unsteady, Recovery girl was right. She'd gained a new power and she could do this because she was a hero in the top class of the top school of Japan, and so, they would figure out why her power was manifesting only now and then she'd go back to class and she'd practice with her new power and get even stronger.
Hope bloomed inside her; she'd gotten what she had wished for. A quirk she could actually make use of. Hope burned stronger than ever, the self-loathing and powerlessness drowned out for now.