Work Text:
there's a guitar in silent bob's hands and a grin on his face. jay has no idea why he's here but he's glad.
"hey dude." jay stands to give silent bob a side hug and close the door. "my mom see you come in?"
he shrugs. he's not sure.
jay laughs and sits in his nice spinning desk chair while silent bob sits on his bed, plucking at the strings of the guitar to keep his hands busy. "where on earth did you get that baby, motherfucker?" jay asks, eyeing the guitar. it's in perfect condition and he'd be surprised if he found out it wasn't brand new.
silent bob thinks for a moment, looking around the room and carefully setting the instrument down on jay's bed. his eyes meet jay's and he makes grabby hands at him. it takes jay a second, but he realises what he's asking and spins around to face his desk. he digs through the pile of papers and random shit on his desk to find a notebook and pen and when he does, he carefully tosses them at silent bob.
he writes for a moment, then shows the paper to jay. 'JUST BOUGHT IT TODAY' it says, all capital letters because silent bob's a dramatic motherfucker.
"really? that's badass, bro." then he realises something. "dude, you don't even play. why'd you buy a brand new guitar? you lookin' to learn?" he rambles on, not giving silent bob the chance to say anything. "homie, i'll teach you ! shit, you shoulda told me sooner, bro."
silent bob shakes his head and goes back to writing. it takes a bit longer. finally, he passes the notebook to jay and the words he reads makes his heart swell.
'I BOUGHT IT FOR YOU. LATE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. COULDNT GET IT UNTIL TODAY. ITS YOURS ♡'
an emotion jay can't describe fills his heart and he doesn't know what to say. he just stares at silent bob in shock, his mouth open comically. he feels so happy, happier than he's ever been, and all he wants to do is grab silent bob by his shoulders and kiss him. wait what the fuck? why is he thinking that? jay pushes the thought out of his mind, still staring at silent bob. he realises how much money this must've cost and how hard silent bob must've worked to get it and he literally starts crying.
silent bob laughs. he scribbles on the page quickly. 'DONT LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT DUDE. ITS NO BIG DEAL.'
jay scoffs. "no big deal? this is the biggest deal ever, dude ! thank you so much, i'm so grateful i could kiss you, you son of a bitch." the words spill from his mouth before he can think them through and he almost starts sobbing at how fucking gay he sounds.
jay looks at his watch - yes, he's wearing a fucking watch - and sighs in frustration. he came to this dumb goddamn school dance for one girl and she hasn't shown up. he's pissed, really. he planned to get laid tonight, maybe get a girlfriend out of it, and she's not even here.
"hey," a voice says behind him and jay nearly jumps out of his skin. he turns quickly and there's silent bob, all dressed up in a suit and a tie - no doubt his mom tied it for him, there's no way the fucker knows how to tie a tie on his own - and his long ass hippie hair is braided and over his shoulder and he's not wearing his stupid hat and - jay thinks he looks bitchin', maybe even handsome.
"you fuckin' spoke bro !" jay exclaims, laughing out. silent bob laughs and nods. "why are you here? i called your mom and she said your dumbass wasn't allowed to come. you your-fuckin-self told me you didn't even want to."
the brunet shrugs. "i don't know, man. i promised some dumb shit and she let me come." he steps towards jay. "and i don't really know why i'm here. i guess i just wanted to see you."
that feeling is back and jay's sadness and anger leaves him entirely. "you came to see me?" he nods and jay can't help but smile. "that's so kind and i dunno. . lovely of you. thanks for comin' silent bob."
"don't get all sappy on me, jay." their little bubble is popped by whatever pop song playing ending and a slow romantic sounding song replacing it. jay makes a disgusted face but silent bob smiles. "you wanna dance?"
jay smiles. he feels all warm and fuzzy inside and he never wants to feel different. "that's fucking gay dude." he says, but takes silent bob's hand and puts his other one on his shoulder. silent bob's arm wraps around him and he feels safe.
the weird feeling he felt when silent bob bought him that guitar is back and stronger than ever.
tears are rolling down jay's face. lucky for his pride, it's raining, no one can tell he's crying. unlucky for literally everything else about him, it's raining and his clothes are soaking wet. that, and the backpack on his back and garbage bags in his hands, is weighing him down.
he's exhausted and just wants to give up, curl up, and sleep on the sidewalk. but silent bob's house is right there and he's standing on his porch before he can think anymore.
he knocks once. twice. three times before he hears silent bob's mom yell at him to get the door. he only has to wait a few seconds before he can see silent bob speeding down the stairs through the stained glass window in the door and he's throwing the door open before jay can knock again. silent bob seems shocked to see jay on his porch so late at night.
"i'm freezing my fucking ass off." jay says simply, ignoring the tears in his eyes. "can i come in before i freeze to death?"
eyes wide, silent bob nods and steps aside to let jay in. 'what fucking happened?' silent bob signs and jay can barely keep up. leave it up to fuckin' silent bob to use sign language in a situation where it's practically useless. (but jay understands he probably can't talk so like. it's fine)
jay starts crying again, dropping the garbage bags in his hands to the floor. they almost take him with them but he manages to stay upright. "the fuckin' bitch wanted me out of her goddamn house." he wipes his eyes with his soaked sweater sleeves, just making the whole situation worse. silent bob flinches at jay calling his mom a bitch, but he agrees wholeheartedly so he doesn't say anything. "i don't know what i did, silent bob. she just. she just kicked me out."
"oh, come here." silent bob whispers and for some reason jay's surprised. in the past few weeks, he's been talking more and more, why is jay surprised when he does? it's not a rare occurrence anymore. he opens his arms and jay shrugs the backpack off his back and falls right into silent bob's arms.
he doesn't seem to mind that jay is soaked to the bone in rain water or that he's getting his clothes wet. silent bob just holds jay as he cries, rubbing his back and running his hand over his head almost like he's petting him. "i don't know where i went wrong. i don't know what i did to piss her off." silent bob shushes jay, still holding him close. he's warm and holding jay as close as he can. like at the dumb dance, jay feels safe. he never wants to leave silent bob's arms, not for a minute.
"you didn't do anything wrong, jay. i promise you that."
"what's the little fucker's name?" jay asks dante. they're both watching silent bob pet the quick stop's black cat, looking so out of his element but calm and happy at the same time.
"annoying customer." dante says simply. "though, one customer that isn't annoying like he is suggested we call him craig. randal said that's a dumb name-"
jay cuts in. "that's because it is."
"-so his name is annoying customer." dante's ignoring him. he's ignoring jay like ninety percent of the time he's around. "he's just a kitten though, so who knows. maybe we'll rename him some day."
the kitten suddenly stands and jumps out of his box, onto the counter. for some reason unknown to even god, the counter is slippery and the kitten slips and slides around for a bit until silent bob grabs him and steadies him. he mouths words at annoying customer and picks him up slowly, careful not to spook him. he looks over at jay and smiles.
jay's heart just about breaks and he smiles back, leaning against the counter. "dante, i think silent bob loves your cat, bro." silent bob holds the squirmy kitten out to jay and he pats the cat's head with two fingers. "shit, i think i do too."
truth be told, jay doesn't really like cats. he's always been a reptile lover, he doesn't really like things with hair. but if it makes silent bob happy, jay will do anything.
another night, another nightmare, and jay is slipping into silent bob's room again. it's become habit, really. the nightmares have been becoming less and less as he spends more and more time with silent bob, but they've not left him yet. he'd gone to bed early, done everything brodie's told him to do to prevent nightmares, but nothing's worked. it's starting to piss him off.
"it happened again." jay mumbles as he climbs into bed. his voice is almost void of emotion. the light sitting on the tiny table on silent bob's side of the bed is on, lighting the dark room in a dim light. silent bob is reading a book, looking over jay sees that it's the stranger beside me. god, he hates when silent bob reads that shit. "these dumb fuckin' nightmares are starting to get me angry."
silent bob stopped reading the paragraph in the book, then folded the corner of the page - jay also hates when he does that just fucking use a bookmark what the fuck silent bob - and turned to jay. "you wanna talk about them?" he asks, setting the book on his bed side table blindly. "that might help you feel better. and i'll always be willing to listen."
jay shakes his head rapidly, pouting. "hell no, bro. that'd just make me more mad, dude." he folds his arms over his chest like an angry toddler throwing a tantrum. "i really appreciate it, though. i . . i really just wanna listen to music and be near you, silent bob. you're the only person that makes me feel safe nowadays. being in the same room as you, or even better the same bed as you, makes me feel safe. i don't wanna talk about my dumb problems, i just wanna lay here with you and listen to your shitty cds."
"that's fine. that's one hundred percent fine, jay." silent bob assures, scooting over to sit closer to jay. jay immediately scoots closer, close to practically sitting on his lap.
"can you. . ." jay hesitates. he's fucking exhausted, all his emotions are wack, and his stupid dumb brain says his question will be super embarrassing. who knows, maybe it will be. "could you maybe hold me?"
silent bob's eyes light up, he smiles, and jay's dumb little heart skips a beat. that dumb fucking feeling he feels only around silent bob is back, his face feels warm, and so does his heart and jeez it feels like he's gonna be sick. he doesn't know what's wrong, he doesn't know what emotion he's feeling or why he is but he likes it. "that's not a question you need to ask." silent bob says and he wraps his arm around jay, pulling him close. "was already planning on it, bro." the little bro almost breaks jay's heart and he's not sure why.
jay lays his head on silent bob's chest, moving to grab silent bob's stupid star wars blanket and cover them both with it. "thank you." he mutters, feeling calmer and safer with silent bob holding him. he closes his eyes, his dumb paranoia leaving him and he feels safe enough to sleep. "i think i'm gonna try to sleep."
"alright, bud." silent bob says, stretching over to grab his book. "i'll be here whenever you need me. goodnight, jay."
"goodnight, silent bob."
(when silent bob is sure jay's asleep, he pauses his reading to turn and kiss jay's forehead. it feels right to do so. he wants to do it again.
jay wasn't asleep. he was awake. he wanted silent bob to do it again. but he didn't say anything. he couldn't say anything.)
"hey, silent bob?" jay asks out of the blue one day. he'd been quiet for the whole day, even quieter after they'd just heard dante complain about his romance troubles to a nearly two hour late randal. silent bob looks over at him, tilting his head like a puppy. "can i ask you somethin'?"
he nods and jay continues. "for a few years, i've been. . . feelin' really weird with myself and recently i've been doin' some self discovery bullshit and. . ." it takes jay a moment to gather himself, think over his words, and gain the courage to tell silent bob what he wants to tell him. "dude, bro, homie. . . i think. i like. silent bob, i'm bi, dude. are you . . . alright with that?"
silent bob's quiet for a moment, true to his name. and then he laughs and shakes his head. "that's what you wanted to ask me?" he snorts and lightly slaps jay's arm. "i'm gay, jason. why wouldn't i be okay with that?"
now it's time for jay to be silent. he never knew silent bob was gay. what the fuck. "uh. . . alright. can. i tell you somethin' else?" JAY SHUT UP. JAY PLEASE SHUT UP.
"of course you can."
god, silent bob thinks, it looks like jay's about to start crying. "i. . silent bob, i've been thinking for years and when i say years, i fuckin' mean it." oh, that's because he is. jay's crying. they're standing outside the quick stop and video store just after noon and jay's standing there, crying into the pepsi he stole while dante complained to randal about bullshit. "silent bob, man. i'm in love with you. i didn't even think love was real until just a few years ago, when we grew up and i realised i wanted to be more than friends with you and -"
silent bob shuts jay up with a quick kiss. nothing more than a quick press of his lips to jay's, nothing more. and jay almost starts sobbing. "i feel that way, too, jay. i promise you that." jay hugs silent bob tight, crying into the side of his face.
silent bob embraces jay tightly. he moves to kiss his cheek and everything in the world feels right. jay feels safe and silent bob feels like it's right to hold jay.
"i love you, jay. god, i'm glad you feel the same."
silent bob kisses jay again. everything is okay. this feels right.
"you owe me twenty dollars." comes randal's excited voice from inside the quick stop.
dante groans and jay and silent bob laugh.
everything is good in the world.