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Prelude
“Daddy?” She called him, whispering through his arms, “Do I have a mommy?”
“Of course, sweetie.” He pulled her closer into his hug.
“Why she’s not here?”
“Well, um, you see, your mommy had to take a long trip to, ah, help baby elephants crossing rivers. And ‘cause daddy loves you so much, you stayed here with me.”
“Will she come back?”
“Yeah, yes, but not now. I mean, she’ll come back when she’s ready.” He set her on the bed, tucking her very carefully. “But I’ll be always here, okay Susie beans?”
“Okay.”
“All right, now you have to sleep. Big day tomorrow, huh? Firts day at kindergarten!” She agreed, hugging her yellow teddy duck tighter. “Which story should we read?”
“Um, I guess... Snow white!”
He sighed loudly, “Snow white it is.”
~
It was a late night of Sunday when Susie found those pictures hidden in a wardrobe in her dad’s old room. Her heart skipped a beat looking at girl in the picture, she was beautiful, with raven hair, big eyes and a shiny smile. Sure, they didn’t look alike, but then again, Susie was her daddy’s copy. Everybody used to tell her that. Even herself, in the edge of her seven years old, could see the resemblance.
The raven-haired girl was sitting in her daddy’s lap and he was hugging her, with a tender smile Susie was very accustomed with. Analyzing her daddy’s features very closely, Susie was filled with the certainty that he loved that girl. And her childish heart overflew with hope, she had to be her mother.
***
Phone call #1
The phone rang three times before someone answered, it was a woman’s voice, Susie became suddenly mute.
“Hello?” The voice on the other side insisted.
“Hi, um, is... Is this Jackie?”
“Yes, who is this?”
“Susie,” She said simply, hoping this would solve the situation by itself.
But there was no commotion on the other side of the line and she could feel nothing but disappointment. After a moment of silence, the woman asked her, unsure, “Okay. Um, can I help you with something, Susie?”
“Yes.” Susie took a deep breath, it took her so much courage to dial the number, she wouldn’t be a baby now. “I, um, are you my mother?”
“What?”
She hung up the phone, making a loud noise in her home, her heart beatting wildly.
***
Phone call #2
“Hello” Her voice sounded distracted.
“Hi, it’s Susie, I-
“The little girl who called the other day.”
“Yes,” She looked to her hands and sighed, it was very hard to let go of this. “Miss Jackie, I wanted to say sorry.”
“Okay, kid, you got me very confused the other night. Are you okay?”
“Yes, I called because I had a guess-”
“That I was your mother?” Jackie interrupted her, “Why would think that?”
“I just...” There was no good answer to that.
“You know what, that’s okay. But I have to tell you that I’m not your mother, dear, I’m sorry.”
“Okay,” Her voice trembled with the tears already coming, “I’m sorry”
“Oh, no, baby, don’t cry. It’s okay.” Jackie’s voice was so soft that it only hurt the girl more that she wasn’t her. “Who’s taking care of you?”
“My dad.”
“Okay, and, um, why don’t you ask him?”
“I don’t wanna make him sad,” She sniffed.
“Well, and there’s no one else you can ask to?”
“Um... My gramma Kitty, maybe.”
Jackie got silent for a moment and Susie wondered if she was even there anymore, “Who?”
“My gramma Kitty.”
“Susie, where did you get my number?”
Suddenly she felt nervous, thinking Jackie might be getting mad, “In my gramma things, I’m sorry”
“No, no, it’s, um, it’s okay,” Another pause, “Can you tell me your dad’s name?”
“Steven...”
Susie heard her breathing heavy on the line, “all right, okay... fuck!” She cursed far from the phone, feeling too scared, Susie hung it off.
***
Phone call #3
Hyde was sitting in his couch drinking his well-deserved Saturday beer when his apartment phone rang. He picked quickly not to wake Susie up. It had been so much time, nine years to be exactly, that he hadn’t heard her voice, he didn’t recognize at first.
“Who’s this?”
“It’s, um, Jackie. Jackie Burkhart.”
The unexpected of that situation got him silent. After a few seconds of flash flood of unwantted memories, he was able to say, “Jackie?”
“Yeah... How are you?”
“I... am... good. Good. And you?”
“Good. I, ah, know this’s odd, but we have to talk.”
“About what?”
“Well, your daughter called me.”
Her words pulled him back to reality. First of all, Jackie didn’t know he had a daughter. After Sam, she fleed back to Chicago and didn’t get to see his divorce or Samantha at his door, one year later, handing him a baby girl that was such a xerox of him it didn’t even needed a DNA. At the time, it was all so recent, he asked for everyone’s secret and after that, Jackie just kind of vanished of their lives, so it didn’t even became an issue.
And now, she’s calling his house to tell him this, “What?”
“Susie, your daughter.”
“I know my daughter’s name.”
Silence.
“Well, she called me to ask if I was her mother. I thought you should know.”
“Wait a minute here,” He propped his head in one hand, “What? How?”
Jackie sighed, “I think she got my number out of Kitty’s things and, I don’t know, she called here and just asked.”
“Jesus, I... I’m sorry for this.”
“Steven,” Something startled in his guts by the sound of his name, but he ignored, “why the hell your daughter thinks I might be her mother?”
He breathed deeply, “I don’t know. She’s... She’s Samantha’s.
“Oh,” There was a long silence before any would speak, “And she doesn't know that?”
“This’s all my fault, I never really told her. I used to invent all these crazy stories, when she was little, about how her mother was away doing all kind of shits, like teaching dolphins how to dance or,” he heard her laughing lightly through her nose, “I don’t know... I just couldn’t tell her that her mother was a stripper that gave her up when she wasn’t even one year old.”
“I’m so sorry, Steven,” Jackie said softly and he kinda missed this voice tone of hers, “I had no idea.”
“Yeah, well, it’s been so long.”
“Yeah,” More silence. “But I think you should talk to her, I mean, I don’t wanna pry or anything, but she sounded hurt.”
“No, you’re right. I’ll talk to her. It's time, anyway.”
“I just... Why she would think of me? To the point of even finding my number to call.”
He laughed at that, his daughter was bold. “I found a picture of us in her drawer a few months ago. Maybe, she figured...”
“Oh, okay. Yeah, it makes sense,” Hyde stretched out to get his wallet from the table nearby. At the time he had found the picture hidden in Susie’s drawer, he folded and tucked in his wallet, for no reason. “Which picture?” She asked softly.
He smiled faintly looking at the photo, “it’s, um, you... You’re sitting on my lap, as usual,” She giggled slightly trough the line, “And you’re beaming... And I, ah, I’m holding you.”
“Are you smiling?”
“Yes,” he told her weakly, matching her tone.
“It’s a good picture.”
“Yeah,” Hyde cleared his throat, “No wonder why she would assume.”
The silence, this time, lasted some long seconds before she would speak again, “Does she look like you?”
“Totally,” His voice recovered its vigor, “Curly blonde hair, small eyes, all the package. She lacks of sarcasm, though.”
Jackie laughed, “She sounded sweet.”
“That ain’t come from me.”
“Well, are you sure?” A smirk grew in his lips, “Cause for I remembered, you could be pretty sweet.” He wished he would say something, but his mouth felt empty as his chest felt warmer. “I had a few glasses of wine, I’m-”
“No, it’s okay,” He interrupted her apologies. “I’m glad you called,” After all, he had a few beers himself. “So, what you been up to?”
“Not much, um, I’m a talk show producer here in Chicago.”
“Really? That’s nice,” He lifted his eyebrows in surprise, “But I have to say, you working behind a camera? That’s something.”
Jackie’s laughter filled the line, straight to his mind, “Oh well, turns out I get by better with my brain then with my looks.”
“You damn right,” That wasn’t something new at all, he always kinda knew that. “But your looks don’t fall behind”
“You know me,” He could see clearly that she was smiling, just as he was.
They fell again in the silence, but this time Hyde felt it heavier. He got a question on the tip of his tongue, ready to fly out, he just wasn’t sure if he should. But what the hell, all this was already so surreal, “Don’t you have someone?”
“Nobody, not right now.” She paused, “And you?”
“A girl named Susie.” It made her giggle and he closed his eyes to that sound. Could he be missing something he never acknowledged until now?
“God, this’s so crazy! I mean, you’re a dad!”
“Yeah, I know!”, Hyde sighed, “Which reminds me, I have big conversation tomorrow.”
“I’m sure you can handle.”
“Hope so... I just don’t want her to be hurt, she’s so special.”
“She deserves to know, Steven. She needs it.” Her voice turned soft again, he liked the sound of it.
“I know”
“She has you, she’ll be fine,” Jackie made a pause and he could tell she was deliberating something, “Do you think you could call me? I mean, if that’s okay, of course... I just, I want to know if everything went well.”
“Course,” He sat straighter for some reason.
“Thank you, she sounded so heartful when she called me, I ah, I got involved.”
“Don’t worry,” He cleared his throat, feeling his heart racing a bit, “I’ll call you then.”
“Cool.”
“Thank you for calling.”
“No problem.”
The last silence settled between them and this time he was able to hear her breathing over the statics, “Good night, Jackie.”
“Good night, Steven.”