Chapter Text
Tsumugi wakes up to his phone blowing up to notification after notification.
He reads them top to bottom, a couple social media notifications, some spam emails and then an actual email.
Thank you for signing up for the MANKAI auditions, Tsukioka Tsumugi!
To prepare for the auditions, you must show a performance to anything, vocally or with dance.
The auditions will be at 5 pm on Friday!
First of all, what the hell? What the hell is a MANKAI? He’s never heard of the company. Tsumugi is completely taken aback. For starters, he hasn’t signed up for anything at all, so... he has no idea what they’re talking about, but Tsumugi knows who did this instead.
And coincidentally, the next clump of notifications is from the culprit.
— from: Miya
> Tsumugi
> Hey hey hey
> I know youre awake respond to me
> Old bitches always wake up at this time
> Also you were awake last night doing whatever a 25 year old man does at 2 am idk
< My birthday was literally like... a month ago. Anyways, what do you need? I was preparing a curriculum.
> I signed you up for something
< ...What is it? I have a hunch I already know what it is.
> I signed you up for an entertainment company audition!!!!
< Yeah. Call me ASAP.
Tsumugi hesitates for a moment. It’s way too early for whatever Miya has planned. The block button is looking real nice this morning. But it’s too late, because the screen already pops up with her name on it.
“Mornin’, sleepyhead!” Miya is out and about already. “Well, not morning anymore. It’s noon.”
“It’s noon?”
“Yeah? But that doesn’t matter! So... I signed you up for this entertainment company— I swear it’s a really good opportunity.”
“...You know I don’t do idol stuff anymore.”
“Listen, Tsumu. I know it’s surprising, but you literally have no fun anymore.” Miya pauses before starting again. “Ever since The Show.”
Everyone who’s close, or even just barely knows about Tsumugi knows about The Show, and he’d prefer not to talk about that. His first reaction is to tell her to shut up, a habit seemingly borne from Miya’s habit of “doing things she thinks are good for him but actually are not and cause him mental turmoil”. Tsumugi is slowly compiling a list, which for now, consists of:
- Putting a “Honk if you love tiddies!” bumper sticker on his car (Tiddies are fine to him, I guess)
- Filling his room with multicolored balls, essentially turning his room into a ballpit (which he will admit, was enjoyable)
- Trying to get him a sugar daddy??? (not opposed to in general but the man had a kid and wanted to marry him as soon as they went on their first date)
- There’s a lot more but it would take up a 10 page packet, double sided
“I am fully aware that The Show did things to me... but did you like... check the credibility this time? Did you like... think before you did something, and by something, I mean this, Miya?”
“Yes! I actually did for once!” Miya puts down her phone just to clap for herself. “I know, I know, I’m amazing. Just thank me now in advance.”
“Miya, get to the point. You’re like... completely sure this isn’t like a scam?”
“Yes! I’m like... sure! I think. The building isn’t even that far from the apartment either! It’s really close, and from what I’ve seen, they only have one group, called XCHANGE.”
“They have XCHANGE?” Tsumugi is surprised for a bit. He’s never heard of MANKAI, but he’s heard of XCHANGE. They produce all their songs themselves, music videos, and everything. Tsumugi would be lying if he said wasn’t interested now.
“Yeah! I was surprised too at first... but this seems like a good opportunity. You’re basically sure to debut too if you pass! Least, that’s what’s on the flyer. Even if you don’t do “idol stuff” anymore, I still know you practice.” Tsumugi blushes at the mention of this.
“No I don’t!”
“Please. The walls are thin, Mariah.”
Tsumugi thinks for a bit about the situation.
“...Okay. This might be the like... first thing you’ve done on impulse for me that actually might be a good opportunity.”
“Please! All my acts are blessings in disguise.” Tsumugi can feel the brightness come through the screen, even if he can’t see Miya.
“...Somehow I can’t find it in me to believe you.”
“The balls? Those were fun! I hadn’t seen you smile like that for a while. That sugar daddy thing was completely well intentioned. But at least you now know the red flags of online dating!”
“Whatever you say, Miya.” Despite what he says, he knows that everything she’s done for him had it’s own roundabout way of being good for him. The ball thing might’ve annoyed him at first, but being able to let himself go was nice for a bit. Till the landlord came upstairs and complained about all the thumping and bouncing. “...Maybe I’ll agree with you for once.”
“Exactly! I am literally a saint. So are you going?”
Tsumugi thinks about it. He knows that he wants to do it again, he wants to be able to perform on stage.
“I’m not saying you have to , you can wallow in your stupid self pity circle jerk all you want, but I really do think this will be good for you.”
Maybe it will be good for him. Sometimes he misses the feeling of late nights practicing, singing, and coming back home exhausted, able to slap himself over his bed and pass out, and text... someone.
“... I’ll do it, just... never say self pity circle jerk again.”
“Yay!”
“But if they don’t debut me in like... the next month, I’m leaving.”
“Month?”
“Month.”
“Please! A month is like... nothing in idol years. But fine. As long as you get back into it.”
“This whole thing isn’t just a scheme to hang out with your girlfriend, right?”
“No, I swear!” She mumbles the next phrase just loud enough for Tsumugi to hear. “It’s a scheme so I can get my girlfriend’s big fat str—“
“Okay, okay, you can shut up now. I hate you. Goodbye.”
“Love ya! Muah!”
Tsumugi hangs up, and can’t help but be reminded that he used to be dating that force of nature. But he knows that’s what he needed during that time after The Show.
Tsumugi doesn’t like to talk about The Show. The mention of it makes him flinch— it’s better now. Some part of Tsumugi is always gonna be 23, and so desperate to debut, to become better, but for some reason, he lets it wash away. There’s something powerful in the way he recites his final speech to the producers, while Tasuku sits up in his throne, happy, but crying for him. This is where everything this is, was, or will be the most important thing to him, but when he loses, it feels like the sky crashes down on him. Tsumugi is so close, so close, giving everything he has to get up there, to at least be 12th.
But his everything is never enough— it’s never been enough. He was okay with it, because it was always going to be like that, he was always meant to be eliminated to make space for Tasuku and all the other hard working trainees.
So he quits, and meets Miya.
—
It’s finally Friday, and Tsumugi is unreasonably anxious. He knows his skills are fine. 2 years isn’t crazy long right? And like Miya says, he practices still, and at least she says it’s good. (If he can impress her, he can impress anyone else.)
All day he’d been entertaining the idea of being in a group— might be completely unrealistic— but things happen in a month, but was never able to drum up a single coherent thought about what he was actually going to do in the chance he did get into the agency.
The 5 minute countdown starts, and he can feel his heart start to pound, and a text chime come from his pocket.
— from: Miya
> Are you at the auditions
< Yeah, why?
> Just wanted to know
> Heard one of your old trainee friends is auditioning
< Who?
> Tasuku
> 1st place on The Show
< ... is it too late to leave?
> Fuck yes
> You have like 5 minutes left
< ... Why is he here? He has another group???
> I mean i heard he left for “undefined reasons”
< ...Miya.
> What
< Did you tell him?
> No i swear i didnt
> But i mean... at least someone you know is there
> Anyways your audition is starting
> Go gettem tiger
< ...Thanks.
There aren’t very many people here, honestly. When Miya tells him she found this flyer in the corner of a bulletin board in a cafe tucked away in the middle of a busy street filled with other, bigger stores, it makes sense— but there’s even less than he’s expecting.
He fidgets around with his phone for a bit, before doing a little mini practice in the room by himself to prepare himself before being called in.
“...Tsukioka Tsumugi?”
“Here!”
“Come in.”
Then he goes in, and begins.
—
Tsumugi wipes sweat off his brow before heaving some deep breaths, as the panel claps. The woman in the center seems impressed— if not just a little desperate for talent.
“Thank you, Tsukioka-san. You may leave. You’ll hear from us in the next week, okay?”
“Thank you for your time. Goodbye.”
Tsumugi rushes out back into the waiting room, Tasuku just entering the room.
This is exactly what he didn’t want to happen .
Tsumugi isn’t confused to see Tasuku go into the waiting room after the texts as he heads out, but Tasuku notices him.
“Tsumugi?”
“...Hi.”
“It’s been a... long time. Nice to see you.”
Tasuku doesn’t know what he’s expecting from Tsumugi, but he wants something. A reason to why he’s ghosted him for the past two years, a reason to why he’s there and ready like nothing happened, but nothing comes out.
“Well... I’m gonna go now. I’ll see you, if I pass.”
Tsumugi already knows it’s not even a question if Tasuku passes— I mean, being the most popular person in the group has its perks. Especially a free pass to a company like this.
— to: Miya
< I finished.
> So!!! Howd it go?
< I think I did fine. I made a couple mistakes though.
> Well everyone makes those
> If you pass im letting my gf move in okay
< Go ahead. I mean... you can have her move in anytime. She knows me, right?
> Well yeah
> (This is me saying that i already let her move in)
< ...You know what, I’m not even mad. I was expecting it anyways.
< Dinner?
> Hmmm yeah
> My choice though
> Wanna talk about the auditions over dinner
< Yeah... would really appreciate it.
> Did you see that guy ?
> You good ?
< Yeah. I just need to talk about it.
—
When Tsumugi enters the apartment, Miya and Sayuri are making out. On the couch. Again.
”...Hey?”
”O- Oh!” Miya gets off of Sayuri quickly before facing him, running a hand through her own hair. “We... didn’t know you were coming back soon.”
Tsumugi rolls his eyes before setting the plastic bag he was carrying down onto the coffee table. “Obviously! It’s whatever, it’s not like I haven’t seen you guys make out like... almost every time you guys are alone and I come back.”
”Okay, but that’s aside the point.” Miya gets up and scrounges around in the bag before taking out her and Sayuri’s burgers before hitting the back of the couch with her back. “We watched the audition tapes you sent. No idea how you even got them that fast.”
”I’m a man of many talents.” Tsumugi sits down on the couch with them.
“Like what do you even mean, Tsumugi. Don’t go texting me like, ‘oh I did so bad, I made so many mistakes. You obviously passed. Like those videos? The vocals? You kinda snapped.” Miya is exasperated, making hand gestures that make Tsumugi fear for the wellbeing of the light fixture hanging over them.
“Yeah! I mean— I don’t know much about all this idol stuff but... I thought it was good! Doesn’t even look like you made a mistake.” Miya’s girlfriend takes a bite into the burger after speaking.
“Thanks... but like that’s not really what I wanna talk about. Obviously.” Tsumugi picks up a fry from the paper bowl, playing with it in between his fingers before throwing it into his mouth.
“...Is it the Tasuku guy?”
“Yeah. I mean— what else? You saw my audition. Thought it was good— thanks for the input,” Tsumugi pauses a bit, taking another bite of his burger before starting again. “It’s just... You try talking to your friend you promised to debut with, not getting to debut with them, and getting so sad you ghost them for two whole years. What am I meant to say to him?”
“Address it? I mean that’s the only solution. You guys are adults!”
“You say that like confrontation isn’t scary. This whole thing was a mistake and I should just withdraw.”
“Tsumugi... you can’t run away from this forever.” Sayuri speaks up again, retreating back into her burger.
”And Sayuri is right! Once again.” She sits up from her seat, raising her arms, and hitting the back of the couch again. “You obviously aren’t happy. Not like... unhappy... just unsatisfied? I think this is like your calling. You have to stay too. Or I will do something truly evil. You can’t just give up because your garbage brain says no to talking to people you sort of wronged in the past!”
“I’m fully aware of that, thank you.”
“Then why are you saying it’s a mistake? If it were me, I would say it’s fate. God himself is coming down and telling you fix your relationship up before he smites you himself.”
“I’m not gonna quit, don’t worry. Just... I need time to process. I just need to think about what I’m meant to say about it.”
Sayuri starts speaking again. “You have a week at least. Just think about it. Brood over it like a teenager while you pack— it won’t hurt.”
“Well, if anything, I just have to do a month. Idol life is nice n’ all but... I don’t think I can do this again.”
“Trust me, Tsumu. This time is going to be different.”
—
Tsumugi wakes up at noon again to another barrage of notifications next Friday.
— call from: Miya
“Tsumugi!” Miya is already sounding as bright as ever this afternoon. “Today’s the day!”
“Don’t remind me, please.”
“I’m just excited! You might finally move out.”
“You’re just excited I’m leaving, aren’t you.”
“... Do you want me to lie or do you want the truth?”
“Just give me the truth. I probably already know what it is.”
“I just want to make sweet, amazing, love with my girlf—“
“Okay, that’s enough. We’re finished.”
“So mean...” Miya puts her phone down, the camera facing upwards. “Tsumugi, ‘m getting called to do something. Text me the results later! Talk to you later, okay?”
“Okay. I’ll text you what I get.”
Miya hangs up, and like it was right on cue, he gets an email.
Welcome to MANKAI, Tsukioka Tsumugi!
Our panel has talked, and we believe you are well equipped to become a trainee, and even skip the trainee process. You are going to debut in a new boy group by next month, and you will move into the dorms by the end of the week! Please respond in the next week. Thank you!
Tsumugi genuinely thinks he’s cursed now.
—