Chapter Text
Roland pushed a third shot in Neil’s direction with an expectant look after passing the usual tray of drinks off to Andrew. Neil rolled his eyes and wondered how the bartender- and his teammates, for that matter- never seemed to tire of trying to get him past tipsy. Neil just sighed and brushed the shot to the side enough to indicate that he was relinquishing it to Andrew.
“Seriously? I thought we were making progress with this one.” Roland asked playfully, looking to Andrew for answers.
Andrew didn’t look towards either of them and spoke while rearranging the drinks in that same intricate pattern that he always did. “You know I’ll watch you if you want it, right?” he directed at Neil.
“Someone needs to be DD, remember?” Neil threw out as an excuse. Truth be told, he just wasn’t interested in getting drunk tonight. It might have been out of habit, but he still could only see scotch, whiskey and anything else that burned as nothing but anaesthetic after an especially brutal attack back when his mother was still alive. The painful association probably didn’t help much in changing his disinterest either.
Without questioning further, Andrew simply knocked back the liquor before picking up the tray and turning back towards the Fox’s table, Neil following closely behind. Roland just shook his head and began wiping down the bar, forgetting to offer Neil a soda.
“Just in time,” Aaron said as the two set the drinks down on the tall table. “I’m way too sober to listen to anymore of Nicky’s dream wedding details.”
“Jeez, you don’t have to kiss my ass to get best man- consider the job yours,” Nicky replied with a smirk, too intoxicated to let Aaron’s mood ruin his. Aaron just scowled and began gulping down his gin and tonic, true to his word.
Neil watched Andrew slowly sipping from his glass and let the feeling of comfort flood his chest. They had played a great game tonight. Their homecoming had ended up being against the Beckinridge jackals again and the 11-4 victory felt quite nice, especially since each veteran fox definitely recalled how cruel the losing team’s playing style had been last year. A celebration was well in order.
The table’s makeup made this night just like last fall, when the monsters had purposefully separated themselves from the rest of the team- though, this time, the rest of the team had known they were invited before they’d made other plans. It, of course, wouldn’t hurt to bond with the new freshman players but Neil figured Matt and Dan would be a bit more personable than Andrew’s lot at that task anyway.
“What do you think, queen?” Nicky directed at Kevin, who seemed unimpressed by the nickname. “Should the theme be more ‘Garden Party’ or ‘Bohemian’?”
“I find it interesting that you think I know what that means,” Kevin said coldly. Neil idly wondered why the group bothered getting drunk when it seemed to do nothing for their short tempers.
Nicky just giggled, used to the cold responses. “Andrew? Any input?”
Andrew surprised everyone by actually answering. “Bohemian. Garden Party is too gay.”
Nicky nearly screeched, smacking his palm on the table as Neil watched a stranger approaching from the direction of the bar. He about matched Kevin’s height and had piercing green eyes.
“Aaron?” the stranger called out with a friendly grin. Aaron looked across Kevin and Nicky at the voice with the rest of the table and Neil watched a look of recognition wash over his face. His expression softened into something Neil had only seen when he was around Katelyn.
“Jason,” Aaron said, moving around to meet the man. ‘Jason’ laughed as they embraced in a quick hug. Neil glanced at Andrew for any kind of telling reaction and only saw the familiar “can I trust you” look, similar to how a loyal pitbull might watch over its owner.
Aaron didn’t keep the rest in the dark for too long. “Jason was on my high school exy team,” he explained, Jason’s eyes darting between the different members at the table.
“It’s so cool to meet you guys! No need to introduce yourselves- I’ve been following y'all's team since last season. It’s a trip seeing Aaron out there taking down teams like Edgar Allen. Makes my heart swell with pride,” Jason said, putting a hand on his chest.
“Aw, Aaron had friends in high school? I didn’t know you had it in you, champ!” Nicky said in a mockingly sweet voice. Jason chuckled as Aaron gave his cousin the finger.
“You single?” Nicky added, twirling a cocktail umbrella between his fingers.
“Weren’t you just planning your wedding?” Kevin said accusingly.
“Shhhh,” Nicky said, placing his hands over Kevin’s ears and promptly getting pushed away. “Asking for a friend.”
“Are you still playing?” Aaron asked before Nicky could get another word out.
“Just intramural,” Jason said, keeping his warm smile despite the mostly blank looks by the foxes who didn’t know how to bother with polite conversation. “I’m studying biology at Florida State- just home for the weekend.
“You know what,” he said, crossing his arms and wagging a finger, “I was actually just about to head to Heath’s house. He’s the captain of our old team- a senior now, I think,” he added for the table.
“There’s a party- bands playing in the basement and everything. He’d be stoked to see you, dude. And all of you guys,” he said, gesturing again to the table. “I know a few people who’d shit their pants at the chance to meet y’all”.
“Yeahhh!” Nicky cheered, shaking the table. “A fucking high school party! Oh, I haven’t been to a house party in so long. Please, please, please can we go?” he asked, looking first at Aaron and then Andrew.
Kevin watched, uninvested, as Aaron too looked at Andrew. His expression said he was already bracing for a no.
“Sure,” Andrew shrugged, surprising everyone for the second time that night. He met none of their eyes and continued to work steadily at his drinks. Jason grinned at Andrew, in no way understanding the foxes’s surprise.
“I’ll text you the address, then. You still have your old number?” Aaron nodded and Jason thumped his shoulder once again. “I’ll see you there, then, man.” He waved to the table before heading towards the exit.
The table unanimously gazed at Andrew for answers. “Finish your drinks, then,” he ordered, giving them none. And they did just that, Nicky chugging his round desperately.
When all the glasses were empty, Andrew sent all but Neil to start the valet on retrieving their car while he returned to the bar to pay their tab.
Finally separate from the others, Neil arched an eyebrow amusedly at Andrew while they waited for Roland’s attention. If Andrew noticed his questioning glance, he did nothing to acknowledge it.
“Sure?” Neil questioned as Roland slid them a receipt in a black book.
Andrew counted out bills from his wallet. “I like concerts,” is all Andrew offered as he closed the book. Neil couldn’t ask for more of an explanation before Andrew was taking the lead out of the club.
Navigating in unfamiliar territory was something Neil didn’t have a lot of trouble with, naturally, and they were at the house in under 15 minutes. He felt a bit of curiosity spark up in him as he found a parking space a bit of a ways down the block.
He had had far too much to worry about during his year at Millport to ever attend the parties he was invited to. He wasn’t completely opposed to seeing what one was like, especially with the security that came with having Andrew at his side.
Nicky continued to talk Kevin’s unwilling ear off as they approached the house, his raving moving on from weddings to different concerts he’d been to in high school. Aaron led the way, leaving Neil and Andrew silently in the middle of the pack.
Andrew smoked a cigarette he had lit in the car down to its filter and watched his twin with interest as he greeted a grinning Jason at the front steps. He moved to advance past them, not willing to waste time with formalities.
“Oh, hey.” Jason caught him before he could get through the door, cutting off his words with Aaron. “Let me help get you situated. Follow me.”
The dull thump of drums escalated into muffled punk music as they entered the house. Though, the amount of bodies was surprisingly sparse on this floor- Neil guessed that the show was downstairs.
Andrew must have come to that same conclusion as he pushed on once inside, ignoring Jason’s pause as he looked around for Heath. Neil followed behind but was cut off abruptly when Andrew froze, a large man with long, curly hair now standing in his path.
“Aaron!” he greeted Andrew. Before he could slap him on the shoulder (and get his hand cut off while he was at it), Neil urged an arm forward, blocking the two.
“The twin you’re looking for is over there,” Neil explained quickly, gesturing backward with his thumb.
The man (Heath, Neil was guessing) seemed unfazed by Neil’s reaction. “Oh, shit! You’re his new teammate! The FBI one- Neil, right?” he said bruntly, holding a hand out. “I’m Aaron’s old teammate, Heath. You guys are fucking awesome.”
Neil smiled and shook his hand politely, keeping an eye on Andrew, who he was sure would abandon him in favor of the music downstairs.
“Congrats on that win tonight- Binghamton had it coming. From one goalie to another, wow” he aimed at Andrew, who was miraculously still standing at Neil’s side. Neil’s mouth twitched in an impressed smile as Andrew humored him with a nod.
“I’ve gotta go catch up with A’ but I’d love to hear some pointers from you later. The basement’s where the real party is at. Oh, speaking of, here.” Heath reached into his back pocket and pulled out a small plastic sandwich bag with gummy worms.
He offered them Neil’s way but, when Neil put a hand out to turn them down, Heath upturned the bag, misunderstanding the gesture. Neil caught them just in time, looking down at the multicolored candy in his hands as Heath laughed and patted his shoulder, moving to Aaron and the others.
Neil glanced at Andrew who followed Heath with his eyes and flicked them to Neil’s palm when he decided the high schooler wasn’t a threat to his brother. Neil chuckled as Andrew, ever the sugar addict, plucked the candy from his hand. Neil helped him finish them off, thankful to have something to get the stale taste of his second shot from hours ago out of his mouth, though he did find it a little peculiar that the host of the party was handing out gummy worms of all things to his guests. He guessed he wouldn’t know what was customary at these things.
Andrew chewed the last of the candy and wiped his hand on his pants as he turned towards the basement steps. Neil copied his gaze. Down the hallway, past the set of stairs that took one to the second floor and before the kitchen, was another set of stairs leading to the basement. The passageway looked pretty congested but Neil didn’t have time to share the thought before Andrew was steadily walking towards it.
Neil wasn’t quite sure how they did it, but they managed to make it through the crowd with ease- something about Andrew’s aura parted the bodies in their way like the Red Sea.
They settled into a spot close to the performers but with a cinderblock wall securely at their side. Neil wasn’t surprised that Andrew chose a spot where he could keep his personal space, even in an environment that should’ve made that impossible.
He surveyed the room, watching the sea of teenagers writhe to the beat of the music. Though he didn’t particularly care for the song or its volume, disappearing into a crowd was, out of habit, comforting to him. He’d initially been worried about getting recognized, his scars telling too much about who he was even out of uniform, but everyone was too drunk, high and otherwise caught up with themselves to even notice him, apparently. He was really just at a high school party, he realized, as the sound of dozens of separate conversations battled with the sound of the music pumping from different amps.
Neil’s attention was jerked to the front when a new, even faster song cut through the room, the speaker demanding that everyone “fucking shut up” before screaming out lyrics in a way that Neil wasn’t sure qualified as musical. A small group of kids began shoving each other and Neil was worried a fight had broken out until he realized some of them were laughing. Maybe this was normal, too. Interesting. Regardless, his spot against the wall was seeming better by the second.
He glanced down at Andrew and was surprised to see his eyes were closed as he moved a microscopic amount to the music pulsing into the room. Neil supposed there was no reason for him to keep his guard up, but he was surprised all the same to see it come down like this. Andrew really hadn’t been kidding when he said he liked concerts. And just like that, Neil’s attention was no longer on the punk band.
They stayed like that for multiple songs before Andrew finally opened his eyes when the band announced the end of their set. He slid his gaze up at Neil before dropping it with a bored look. “Staring.”
Neil didn’t try to defend himself or his smile and instead watched the crowd shift around as the next band set up. A good amount of people left for upstairs and out a side door that let cool air into the room and Neil wondered if it was getting late. As he pulled his phone out and read the green ‘12:47’ that stared back at him, his mouth suddenly became dry and a strange bubbling in the back of his throat became hard to ignore. He figured he was dehydrated and wondered if he could pull Andrew from his spot against the wall long enough to get a drink.
As if reading his mind, Andrew simply stated, “Water,” as Neil turned back to him. He nodded and let Andrew lead him, the lights in the room somehow feeling brighter than they had a second ago. Neil squinted as he tracked Andrew- his smaller form seemed to move slower and with less of an edge than usual but Neil still found it hard to keep up. He blinked hard and decided he needed some fresh air, too.
Instead of heading back up to the ground floor, Andrew led them to a small bathroom that Neil didn’t know was there. The quiet that came when Andrew shut the door behind them startled him.
Andrew stood with his eyes closed, his back to the door as he breathed deeply. His eyebrows were arched high and it formed a curious expression Neil hadn’t seen before. He stared at it blankly, worry clouding some part of his brain. He remembered that they both needed a drink pretty bad and turned around a couple times in search of the sink before he found it and firmly put his hands on its sides to stop it from moving again.
He worked his hands up the porcelain until he was holding the cool metal of the faucet’s handles, pulling them forward. His thoughts briefly considered the idea of a cup before he settled on moving his mouth directly under the stream.
The feeling of the water on his lips was strangely entrancing and he couldn’t quite stop himself from letting it rush over the rest of his face. He felt euphoric as his skin was drenched. Why didn’t he do this more?
He held himself there for what felt like hours before remembering- ‘Andrew’. He pulled back and stood up with water dripping into his black button up’s collar.
Andrew was now staring absently at the floor by Neil’s shoes. Neil felt himself involuntarily sway in his spot as he gauged the other man. Andrew’s hooded expression looked a different kind of blank than usual.
Neil gestured to the sink, wanting to communicate his water-drinking solution to Andrew but unable to put the words in the right order. He tried harder when Andrew didn’t respond to his non-verbal suggestion but still found the job impossible- just when he would start a sentence, it would get interrupted by his thoughts on how great soaking your face in a sink apparently was. He distantly knew he should be panicking more than he was at the odd state of his thoughts but just couldn’t quite find that in himself either.
He then caught his own eye in a mirror above the sink he hadn’t noticed before. A surge of fear rushed him at the sight of his natural eye and hair color but he caught up with himself when his gaze fell to the circular burn mark on the apple of his cheek. He touched it without thinking, circling around its edges gently and realized he was getting lost staring at his reflection. His own expression was almost as hooded as Andrew’s- did he always look like that?
His low eyelids almost kept him from realizing how red his eyes were. He was a lot more tired than he’d thought! He considered rinsing off under the faucet again to wake himself up more and it suddenly hit him that he forgot about Andrew again! Because of his own face!
He heard himself begin to giggle in a way he didn’t quite recognize, letting the sound fall easily from his lips against his better judgement which was long gone, it seemed. He knew he had to be getting Andrew water and that he couldn’t even form a coherent enough thought to do this but he couldn’t stop.
His stomach began to ache from laughing and he turned to Andrew, whose stare was now right on him. Before he could explain himself, Andrew spoke. “You’re high.”
Neil processed for a moment and blinked, his giggling quieting down. He was focused more on how bummed he was that Andrew wouldn’t giggle with him than on what Andrew just said so it took him a second to interpret the words. You’re high. ‘No I’m not,’ Neil thought, making a face. He didn’t know much about the meaning of the word but he did know you had to smoke or at least swallow something to get there.
“No, I’m not,” Neil said out loud, crossing his arms. He stood off with Andrew a moment, who did not seem persuaded, before a smile stretched onto his face once again. He would not be able to come up with a reason to save his life as to why he started giggling this tine but he did, nonetheless.
“Yes, you are,” Andrew said simply, wiping a palm over his face and then his hair. “We both are.”
Neil almost repeated himself but stopped. Andrew knew better than him and the way his thoughts were circling like a fat cat chasing its tail needed some kind of explanation, he supposed. It still didn’t make sense though. He hadn’t smoked or swallowed anything.
He was going to say this but stopped when Andrew started making that face again, his eyes closed and his eyebrows arching high. The worry finally cut through the fog in Neil’s brain. He moved to stand in front of Andrew, arms hovering over his chest protectively. He forced himself to focus and watched carefully.
Andrew slowly opened his eyes, blinking a few times at Neil’s closeness. When their bloodshot stares met, Neil felt his breath catch in his throat as Andrew cracked a small smile, sweet unlike those he used to sport before coming off his medication.
“What?” he asked, pushing Neil back a couple steps, two fingers hard against his chest. Neil stumbled for a moment and then matched Andrew’s expression and crossed his arms, leaning back in close.
“What?” he asked back. He could tell the blonde was trying to school his expression and that something stronger betrayed him.
“Yes or no?” is what Andrew responded with, hands like ghosts beneath Neil’s jaw.
“Hmm,” Neil said, bringing a finger to his chin, “should I let you hide your smile by kissing me? I might never see it again.”
“Up to you,” Andrew shot back, finally managing to force a frown. Neil laughed at him.
He put a hand beside Andrew’s head on the door. “Of course.”
Andrew didn’t waste any time arguing, immediately grabbing Neil by the sides of his face and moving in quickly. Neil felt like he was floating on a cloud as he let his lips pulse against Andrew’s (this was way better than the faucet) but he didn’t let himself touch back without permission. He dropped his hands to his sides in fists, like always.
Luckily, Andrew caught the motion and guided Neil’s hands where he wanted them- around his waist. Neil couldn’t help but gasp into the warm mouth, inhibitions blown out the window.
He was just about singing at Andrew pulling at the edges of his hair when the door rumbled behind them with a loud knock. Andrew dropped his hands and brushed Neil off as he turned around, pressing his back into Neil’s chest. Neil couldn’t tell if the contact was accidental or not but he was so far from complaining.
Andrew lazily straightened his sweater and gestured vaguely at Neil as he pulled open the door. They were met with a small line of glaring teenagers whose expressions said they knew exactly what the two had been doing in there. The mousy brown-haired girl leading the line gasped and her eyes widened in recognition after a few moments of taking in Neil’s face.
“You’re Neil Josten,” she said.
Neil wasn’t sure he’d know how to respond to this kind of thing sober. So, he chose not to, really.
“No, I’m not,” he said, starting to giggle again. He grabbed Andrew’s sweater sleeve and dragged him away from the bathroom, leaving a fee different kinds of confusion in his place.
He flew across the floor, smiling widely at the feeling. Andrew blinked up at him when he stopped them both at the staircase. “You wanna stay?” the redhead asked.
Andrew grabbed Neil’s shirt and stood on his tiptoes to reach the taller boy’s ear. “Take me somewhere dark.”
Neil shivered at the feeling of Andrew’s breath on his neck and began pulling his sweater sleeve back up to the main floor, ignoring the sideways glances they got from the people stationed on the stairs.
Neil felt a newfound importance in the fact that he was leading Andrew to their next destination. It felt similar to when he would scavenge different small towns for empty houses except fun and he was eager to impress his passenger with his skills. He would find the darkest room in the whole house.
When they reached the first floor, he took a moment to reintroduce himself to the house’s layout. After checking briefly to make sure it was Andrew’s sweater he was still holding, he found himself back at the entryway, staring up stairs that led to the next floor. Oh that was perfect.
Except, when he tugged Andrew’s sweater, he met resistance. He whipped around and gave Andrew a questioning look. He pointed at the staircase with his free hand. “It’s dark up there,” he explained.
Andrew shook his head, looking tired. “No, Neil. You can’t just go upstairs at parties.”
Neil looked around, trying to spot the sign that said so. “Why not?” he whispered. He felt the need to whisper.
“Because… that’s where the bedrooms are,” Andrew answered in a normal voice, his arm still suspended in the air thanks to Neil’s pull.
Neil squinted at him, not following the logic. Was sleeping in other people’s beds considered rude? Neil could get behind that. “Are they afraid we’ll get the beds all messy?” he finally reasoned.
Andrew began to smile that small escaped smile again. “In a way… yeah,” he agreed.
Neil studied his expression, his own smile cutting onto his face easily at the sight of Andrew’s. “What?” he asked, shaking Andrew’s arm with impatience.
Andrew waved a hand but didn’t manage to get rid of his humored expression. “Do you need me to spell it out for you, Josten? How old are you again?”
Neil stared at him blankly again. Spell what out? What did people do in bedrooms that…
‘Oh.’
Laughter erupted from Neil as he dropped Andrew’s sweater sleeve. Andrew barely managed a straight face and pulled his hand back, watching Neil grow red in the face.
“I didn’t want to do that,” Neil said with the little breath he had. “It’s just dark up there.”
“Why not?” Andrew asked coolly. Neil just gaped at him, not knowing how to correctly respond.
Andrew rolled his eyes, “Come on,” he said turning towards a living room Neil hadn’t known was there (how did Andrew keep doing that).
The room was dark (not as dark as upstairs, though) and had two arm chairs on either side of a well-worn sofa. It was empty aside from a revolving disco light set on the center coffee table, matching the glow of the Christmas lights strung around the room and windows. Neil watched Andrew flop down onto the couch, resting an arm over his face, and sat in the space that the other’s legs couldn’t reach.
The endings to one of the string of lights rested on the arm of the sofa to Neil’s left and his mind was immediately zapped of everything else. The way the fractured rays seemed to pierce the dark was beautiful. Neil let his fingers dance over the small bulbs and studied the way his own shadow manipulated the color with intensity. He had to get some of these for his room. He thought he could talk Andrew into it.
He distantly felt the couch shift beside him and didn’t realize what Andrew was doing until his right arm was being moved by small but strong hands. He stared down as Andrew settled his head into his lap, eyes still closed, and felt his eyes widen even larger when his arm was placed back down over Andrew’s chest. He couldn’t help when he held his breath.
“Wh-”
“Don’t start,” Andrew said with warning in spite of the warm smile Neil had gotten nicely acquainted with over the course of the night. Following instruction, Neil simply gave himself a smile to match and settled into the sofa, gazing towards the purple lights once more. They sat like that for a small eternity, the only sound coming distantly from the basement as a new band played their set.
Neil’s completely contented mind couldn’t help but drift to the other foxes. He wondered what they were doing right now. Certainly not this. No matter where they were or how happy they felt, Andrew was in his lap. And Neil felt just a little cocky about that.
He suddenly remembered that some of those teammates had come with them to the house and that he hadn’t seen them since they got there. That felt like years ago.
“Where do you think Kevin and everyone are… is… are?” Neil said, breaking the silence.
“Don’t care.”
“Don’t care?” Neil asked, flipping his look to Andrew’s face, which was still trying to trick him into thinking he was asleep. “What if they got kidnapped?”
“They can handle it,” he answered. Neil took a moment to consider how different Andrew’s response would have been last year. A lot happened last year.
“Just like I did, right?”
Andrew tensed a bit and his eyes flicked open, his face closer to its usual expression. Hooded, not-quite-bored hazel eyes stared into Neil. “Don’t joke about that.”
“Just saying,” Neil defended, leaning his head back against the couch in order to escape Andrew’s glare. “I found my way back.”
Andrew didn’t say anything but grabbed Neil’s wrist firmly, either in warning or protectively. Neil just smiled to himself at the pressure.
Something inside him made it hard to keep quiet and his thoughts slipped from one topic to the next. “So you like concerts, huh?”
Andrew loosened his grip and instead began tracing shapeless patterns into Neil’s forearm. “I like how loud they are.”
Neil packed that away into his mind. “Any specific genre?”
Neil felt Andrew trace a lazy ‘N O’ into his forearm. He smiled and started staring at the lights yet again.
“Could we get string lights for our room?”
“No,” Andrew answered flatly, “you’re just high.”
Neil’s mind shot back to the question that had been burning in the back of his mind. “How-”
“The candy,” Andrew interrupted, sighing as he put his arms back at his sides, one dangling off the edge of the couch.
“So you knew?”
“No..,” Andrew said slowly, “I’ve never seen stuff like that before. But I don’t think it’d be hard to like… put the, like… oil… in the thing…,”
“The oil in the thing?” Neil asked, not even trying to hide the grin in his voice.
“Shut up. I ate way more than you.”
“You seem pretty normal, though.”
“I don’t feel normal,” Andrew mumbled, closing his eyes and making that face from the bathroom again.
“Noo, like… how do you do it?”
Andrew sighed and answered after a pause. “It’s kind of like when I was medicated. You feel happy so your brain… loses its filter. You can just force yourself to… do it manually. And, worse comes to worst… you just keep quiet.”
Neil thought over this. “I wanna see you without a filter.”
Neil just smiled at the look Andrew gave him. “367%.”
“What’s the worst that could happen, huh?”
Andrew didn’t answer for a moment. “I’m already in your lap- don’t push it.”
“Okay,” Neil said, trying and failing not to start giggling again. Andrew was in his lap. Just when he thought he’d stop, a new thought had him starting all over again.
“Oh my god,” Andrew said. “What?”
Neil made himself settle down and hummed at the ache in his abdomen. “I thought people just... gave candy out at parties.” Saying it out loud set him off all over again.
Andrew let out a huff and grabbed Neil’s wrist again. “Clueless.”
Neil asked another question to try to distract himself from the endless laughter that escaped him. “Did you go to any parties in high school?”
Andrew shrugged as best as he could laying down. “Sometimes,” he said, and after a pause, “anything to get out of the house”.
Neil felt the silence settle, save for the steady pounding from the basement, but didn’t have to try too hard to change the subject.
“I’ve never really thought about music,” he said. Andrew hummed in response. “We’d put on the radio sometimes to keep us up on the highway. I never really listened to any of it. It just broke up the miles.” His mind gazed to the sight of long, straight lanes, light reflecting off cars both night and day.
“Though I do remember this one song I liked,” Neil said, only letting himself giggle for a moment this time. “It was like…, ‘One day… you’ll find… that I have gone,” he laughed at his own raspy singing. “The Beatles one about the sun but… not the famous one.”
“‘I’ll Follow the Sun,’” Andrew figured. “That’s fitting.”
“Yeah,” Neil said fondly. “Radio stations always loved to play that right at sunrise. Usually after the more famous one.” Andrew hummed again.
“I think… it might be because of that time of day, actually, that I liked the song. It was always more quiet. And more safe. And if I saw the sun rise… that meant we survived another night. You know?”
Andrew didn’t respond but simply watched Neil carefully, though Neil knew the worry was misplaced. This might have been one of the first times he actually had a memory of his mom that wasn’t stained with panic and misery. He just felt warm. Though, that might have been Andrew’s fault.
“You’re warm,” Neil said before he could stop himself. Andrew’s eyes rolled, breaking the worried stare.
“You aaaare,” he insisted. Neil let himself bask in it for a minute until yet another revelation hit him. “I’m so hungry.”
Andrew nodded in agreement and waited a moment before lifting Neil’s arm and himself up. Neil frowned at the loss of contact.
“Let’s go to the kitchen,” Andrew said simply, standing up and waiting.
Neil wasn’t sure he could make himself get up and just stared at Andrew helplessly. Andrew quirked that funny smile again and leaned in, grabbing Neil’s shoulders.
”Let’s go, Junkie,” he said lowly, pulling Neil in another kiss. Neil no longer felt stuck to the couch, practically weightless at the feeling of Andrew against his lips. He let himself be pulled to his feet, making a noise of protest when Andrew pulled back all too soon and started for the hallway.
The harshness of the small kitchen’s white light made Neil squint involuntarily. He now understood Andrew’s original ‘somewhere dark’ request.
When his eyes adjusted, he saw Andrew digging through the freezer, returning with a gallon carton of cookies n’ cream ice cream. He passed Neil and began rummaging through drawers, finally turning back with two spoons. He handed one to Neil and uncovered the ice cream, leaning against the kitchen counter.
Neil watched Andrew start to eat silently, scooping a spoonful for himself. “Shouldn’t we ask Heath first?” he asked, shoving the spoon in his mouth anyway.
Andrew shrugged, licking his lips. “It’s his fault for getting us this high.” Neil supposed that was true. He distantly wondered what Heath’s parents would think about two college exy players eating all their ice cream.
His thoughts were interrupted by a familiar voice. “Hey!” Nicky said as he walked into the kitchen, followed by Kevin. “We’ve been looking all over for you.”
“Clearly not very well,” Andrew said, unimpressed. Neil covered his mouth with the hand balancing his spoon as he broke out into the hundreth giggling fit of the night. He turned to see Andrew smiling at the carton.
“Wait,” Kevin said from behind Nicky, passing him as he approached Neil with a look of disbelief. He stood in front of Neil, squatting to look into his eyes. Neil widened his eyes in a mocking gesture before turning away and giggling all over again.
“You’re fucking high,” Kevin said accusingly.
“No,” Neil said, his flushed smile not doing much to add credibility to his words.
“No fair!” Nicky said, crossing his arms. “I get stuck with Mr. ‘You-Can’t-Mosh-It-Could-Ruin-Our-Season’ and you two get stoned?” Neil just shrugged, reaching for the ice cream carton again.
“Are you crazy,” Kevin continued, undeterred. Neil glanced down at the ice cream on his spoon and held it out to Kevin in an offering. Kevin let out an exasperated noise and shook his head.
“What if there’s a random drug test? You would be benched, maybe expelled. What then?” Neil frowned and considered offering the spoon again.
“Hush,” Andrew ordered, flicking a piece of oreo at Kevin’s head. Kevin turned his angry glare on the shorter boy. “They only test before important matches, they’re easy to cheat and the damage is already done. Plus,” he continued, gesturing with his spoon, “it was an accident.”
“Who puts drugs in gummy worms?” Neil added for emphasis, his mouth full of the white ice cream.
“You need to be more careful,” Kevin grumbled, settling down at the kitchen table.
“Or at least invite me next time,” Nicky whined.
“Accident,” Andrew reminded him as Kevin spat out, “There won’t be a next time.”
The sound of laughter closing in from the hallway preceded the entrance of Aaron and Heath into the kitchen. Heath boomed a greeting to the foxes and, taking note of Andrew and Neil, laughed heartily. “I guess the edibles kicked in, eh?”
Before Kevin could chew the high schooler out for giving his players weed, Heath continued. “It’s fine if you want to double dip into my dad’s ice cream, sure. But just give me one thing in return, huh?” he asked, looking at Andrew. “Did you think of any goalkeeping advice for me?”
Neil watched Andrew, who licked his sticky finger clean as he thought.
“Don’t let the ball go in the net,” he said finally.
Neil, of course, was the first to double over in laughter.