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“Alex.”
“No, go away.”
“I’m not going anywhere, will you just grab my hand?”
There were probably more than a few reasons why one should not agree to travel to Canada on a mission with an ex-boyfriend who happened to be able to obtain two fake passports with fake names within a day’s notice, but Michael was never known for being reasonable. A few whispered talks about a secret, small US embassy in Canada that was specifically there to track alien artifacts that were found in the country. It was much easier to obtain them when it was official government business worthy of an unlisted location.
Alex found that location though and they were going to sneak in, but first they had to handle the fact that they’d spent too much time together in an enclosed car. The first 20 hour of the drive had been fine. But then sharing a motel room has stirred up some thoughts and feelings that were the epitome of wrong place, wrong time. The rest of the drive had been awkward and uncomfortable because neither of them knew how to just say ‘I love you, trust me’. It was so much easier to just be assholes.
But now Alex was stuck, unable to walk on the ice that covered the ground within the half mile surrounding that secret embassy. His prosthetic had an air pocket which he noticed when they got out of the car, but he said he'd been fine and didn't need to fix it. Now they were walking on what was apparently an iced over lake in the dark and he couldn't take a step without risking falling to his face. It definitely presented a problem.
Which, you know, would've been a lot easier to handle if this wasn't the biggest fucking metaphor in the world.
"I know you're mad at me, but grab my hand," Michael told him, "Or let me use my TK to help you. Fucking let me help you for once."
"No!" Alex said, on the verge of tears now. Michael wasn't stupid enough to think it was all because of the fact he felt helpless on the ice. "I don't need your help!"
"Oh, you don't? So you want me to leave you here to get questioned by government officials by yourself?" Michael asked. Alex sniffled and nodded, his features lit only by the moon. He looked fucking gorgeous despite the stubborn crease in his brow and the tears in his eyes.
"Yes," Alex said sternly, "I would rather be fucking held as a POW than let you help me."
Michael sighed, raking frustrated hands through his hair. They were here on borrowed time, a 30 minute window during shift change where people were off their game. They were running out of time.
Stupidly, his mind went back to the night before spent in the motel. They'd been sitting on the floor, eating pizza and talking about life and feeling completely normal. Michael had been unable to stop smiling because it was such a novelty to steal a few hours where they could pretend they were just two guys. No abusive parents, no foster homes, no alien conspiracy, no secrets. Just two guys with pizza and a shared hatred of the ending of How I Met Your Mother.
It was the most they'd bonded in forever and Michael had felt himself fall in love with his man all over again. Which was awesome and exhilarating all the way up until Alex had gone in for a kiss, confident as ever, and Michael had rejected him. He only did that because he was determined not to let history repeat itself with them, but Alex had taken it as a final act of rejection and that it was sufficiently over forever and Michael had been fucking with his feelings. Which, honestly, was a fair conclusion given their history.
But still. It wasn't the case and Michael felt like he'd waited too long to explain. Now would particularly be a horrible time to try.
He checked his watch.
"Alex, we have less than 10 minutes. We need to go back to the car and go stay at a motel, we can come back tomorrow," Michael told him. Alex took a steadying breath.
"I came here to get that damn piece and I'm getting it tonight," he said stubbornly. Michael's eyes bulged out of his face.
"Alex, we are out of time," Michael said slowly, "We're going to get caught and then we're both fucked."
"I don't want to be alone with you for longer than I have to," Alex shot back. Michael ignored the way that stung.
"Fine, I'll sleep in the truck and leave you alone, just please. Please let me help you."
They stared at each other in debate for too long, wasting too many seconds.
Then Alex tried to take a step forward, focusing so hard, and yet he still lost his footing due to lack of sensation on his prosthetic leg. Michael caught him before he went down completely, holding him up. Alex stared at the ground between them.
"Let go," he whispered.
"I'm not letting go of you, Alex," Michael told him, softer than it needed to be and carrying more weight than it should. Alex's fingers dug into Michael's forearms and he shook his head.
"Why are you doing this to me?" he asked quietly, his voice cracking. Michael held back the urge to pull him into a hug. They needed to get out of here.
"Can you please wait for the answer to that question until after I help you out of here? 'Cause I swear it's a good answer. I think you'll like it," he promised, looking away from Alex just long enough to make sure no one was anywhere near them. "Trust me just enough to get us out of here, okay? Military guys are people well known for packing a gun and I'm not trying to get shot for being on their property."
"I'm packing," Alex told him. Michael managed a smile.
"Yeah, I know you are," Michael said, rubbing his hand up and down his arm, "You wanna get on my back or do you have a better idea on how to get out of here?"
Alex looked up at him slowly, clearly hesitant to let him help. Eventually, though, he let Michael help him onto his back and then, with a little assistance from his telekinesis to keep them upright on the ice, he started running.
As he started running, he started brainstorming of ways to make Alex feel better about the situation. He knew Alex and he knew he hated feeling helpless, but he was coming up blank. It was just something they'd have to deal with.
They got to the truck and he let Alex take the driver's seat, hurriedly trying to get off the premises before anyone noticed how close they were. After Michael caught his breath, he turned to Alex who still had those angry, frustrated eyebrows in full force.
"Thank you," he said.
"I didn't fucking do anything," Alex said.
"Thank you for putting our safety over your pride," Michael told him, smiling slightly as his face relaxed just a little, "And, more importantly, I love you."
Alex seemed to freeze despite the fact he was still driving, his eyes going wide in shock.
"Even though you're a stubborn asshole who's pride is probably gonna get me killed one day, I love you," Michael went on, "I am actually extremely in love with you to the point that I want to keep my hands off of you until we talk about all the little details so that I don't fuck up again. Which is what I would've told you last night if you would've let me."
"I..."
"You're so fucking stubborn and infuriating, but you're strong and resilient I love you for it and I'm tired of not telling you," Michael said, leaning over the center console. He pressed a kiss to the side of Alex's head, holding the other side of his head with his hand. "That's why I'm doing this to you. My answer good enough?"
Alex sat there for a moment, opening and closing his mouth and his eyebrows doing all sorts of things as he tried to piece together what he was hearing.
“No,” Alex said eventually, “No, it is not good enough, you asshole!”
Michael grinned at that, grazing his nails against the side of his head that his hand was still holding. He tilted his head into the headrest.
“I love you.”
“You’re so fucked for leaving me thinking you hated me for a whole day!”
“I love you.”
“And you’re such an asshole for keeping that to yourself.”
“I love you.”
“God forbid we actually could’ve gotten caught and then I would’ve spent that whole time thinking you didn’t! You’re supposed to clear the air before the dangerous mission!”
“Alex,” Michael laughed, still gently scratching his scalp, “I love you. We’re not dead, we’re safe, and, if you want, I will spend the rest of the night in the motel fucking the anger out of you.”
Alex took his eyes away from the road just long enough to glare at him. Michael still smiled.
“I got you. I’m never gonna let you fall or get hurt or get caught, not if I can help it. Because I love you. So tomorrow night when we come back, let’s anticipate for you not being able to walk on the ice and work around it, okay?” he said. Alex nodded, blowing out a long breath from his nose.
“I’m so annoyed with you right now,” Alex said, “But fine. I trust you and you’re right.”
“And you love me,” Michael prodded. Alex rolled his eyes, but couldn’t hide the smile from his face.
“Yeah,” he agreed, “And I love you.”