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The night air is peaceful and still. No owls land near the dormitories to converse with their friends. Stormclouds do not crash together and strike the earth with bolts of light. Objectively, the night is perfect. And yet, Annette cannot sleep. She stares up at the ceiling, a throw pillow crushed against her chest and her mind very awake. Well, actually, awake is a strong word. Annette does not feel awake enough to do anything productive, and there lies the problem. On a normal sleepless night, she would simply read another few chapters in her magic theory text, or at least rearrange her closet and sock drawer so everything is color-coded. Unfortunately, her brain can only focus on one thing: how badly she wants her pillow to be Felix.
She flips onto her side, curls up into a ball, then sprawls out with one arm hanging off of the bed. No position is comfortable enough. Not without Felix holding her so tightly she can feel his chest rise and fall with every breath he takes. Not without his hand finding hers, fingering the ring he had given her, then lacing their fingers together. Not without the ends of his hair tickling her forehead, giving her an opportunity to sweep his bangs away and hold his cheek in her hand. Not without his nose pressing into her cheek and her breath catching in her throat before she leans in and captures his lips in lazy, sleepy kisses.
Annette whips her arm back and flips to her other side in one swift, ungraceful lurch. She hopes her scream in pain when her hand smacks the wall does not wake Bernadetta next door. Cradling her throbbing hand, she crosses and uncrosses her legs before settling on leaving them stacked perfectly on top of each other. She sighs and shuts her eyes. Sleep has to come eventually, even when Felix is not with her.
***
The next morning, Annette aimlessly picks at the fruit on her plate. She had woken up far too early, so except for her, the dining hall is empty. Yet another activity that would be much more enjoyable if Felix were here.
As if on cue, Felix wanders through the doors and immediately locks eyes with her. Time stops. Slowly, their faces light up, and once she feels like she can move again, she spins out of her seat so fast that she tumbles to the floor. "Annette!" Felix is at her side in an instant and helps her to her feet. "You have to be more careful!"
"I know, I know," she dismisses his concern with a fit of giggles. "I just... Well... I missed you a lot!"
Felix hooks his arms behind her back and gives her a confused look. "You missed me?"
She rests her hands on his chest, and then her forehead on her hands. "Yeah," she quietly mumbles. "So much."
Felix sighs and asks, "Why didn't you just come upstairs? That's where I live."
Annette's face heats up in embarrassment. "I-I know that! I just didn't want to wake you up! And, you know, the implications!"
"I'm not Sylvain," he says dryly, "You're always welcome in my room." Annette hears his voice catch at the end, and she cannot tell if she feels less embarrassed now, or if it is even worse than before.
"I wanted you to hold me," she softly admits. "And maybe kiss me a little. I don't know. What am I saying?"
Felix's arms tighten around her, and he buries his nose in her hair. "Now you know how I feel every night." She takes a sharp breath, and when she says nothing, he continues. "When I close my eyes, I hear your voice. You sing. Sometimes it's songs I've already heard, and sometimes they're totally new. But when I wake up, you're not there singing for me."
"Felix," Annette mumbles against his coat, but he keeps going.
"I told you I'm your captive. I think about you all the time. I wish..." He picks his head up and lets go of her, taking both of her hands in his. He brushes his fingers against her ring before lacing them with hers. "I wish we could be together now."
"We're going to win this war," she says with determination, squeezing his hands.
He nods and squeezes back. "Yeah. We have to."
***
That afternoon, a tired Annette falls asleep mid-song, and Felix holds her close, letting her finish in his dreams.