Work Text:
Chuuya wanted to punch himself- no, he wanted to punch the smug grinning face in front of him. "You cheated!" He cried out.
"Hmm? There's no proof." The brunet returned, still smug as ever as he let go of the controller to fully face the mafia. "Now, what should I have Chibi do, I wonder."
The redhead could only curse himself for getting so easily riled up when Dazai had taunted him. That bet from when they were 15 should have taught him a lesson but of course, Dazai, that cunning bastard, always manages to get him to agree to bet with him.
That's how Chuuya found himself in the situation, in front of the ugly door of certain someone's office. He could already imagine Dazai, with his headphones and eyes closed, waiting for him to knock on the door. He's certain the brunet's already aware of his arrival ever since the moment he stepped into the building and God knows how he does it - maybe he sets camera everywhere or maybe he put a tracker on Chuuya -
'It was lunch time, so the office must be empty' , Chuuya tried to get himself into thinking even though knowing Dazai, he would not be so kind. Thus, every single member of the ADA must be inside the room, maybe even including their president.
The redhead groaned, deciding to just finish it already, he knocked the door three times before opening it. Blush was clear on his face as he exclaimed with the most cheerful voice he could muster : "I have brought lunch, let's eat together, Osamu!"
As Chuuya had expected, every member of ADA was inside the room - save from the president - and was looking at him with amusement, confusion and some ( Ranpo and Yosano ) not so discreetly laughing at him.
The sole reason behind this embarrassment he has to go through? Was pretending he's not listening and focused on his phone instead.
Chuuya growled at the sight, he badly wanted to mop the floor with the bandaged guy's face. With embarrassed, heavy steps - that created creaking sound - he walked towards the male and ripped away his headphone.
Dazai looked up at him in faux surprise. "Oh my, Chuuya what are you doing here?"
"You bastard-"
"Uh huh, wrong answer." The brunet said with a smirk.
The mafia executive glanced at him with eyes promising murder before forcing a smile. "I've come because I want to have lunch with you." He then said smoothly, tone dripping with honeyed poison.
"Hmm, well, if the Chibi insist." Dazai shrugged his shoulder as he got up and invited Chuuya onto the sofa. "I'd eat with him only if he feeds me, though."
"Don't push your luck, you asshole."
Dazai made a dramatic move of flopping down face first to the couch. "Then Chuuya can eat his lunch alone."
"That'd be perfect. Good bye." Chuuya immediately said, taking it as a small opening to escape but Dazai gripped onto his wrist almost immediately, offering him a bright smile that they both knew was anything but bright.
With a growl, Chuuya sat beside him. He could still feel the curious, nosy glances from Dazai's co-workers but he brushed them off. Stupid bet and an even stupid-er Chuuya for agreeing.
"Give me a fucking break." Chuuya moaned in despair when of course, Dazai had to pull him onto his lap. So he has to feed the stupid mackerel while sitting on his lap, in front of his workmates; perfect.
"That's what we're having right now." The other male beamed as he urged Chuuya to unwrap the homemade bento.
"Not for me." The redhead sighed and began eating himself.
"Ooh, is Chuuya going to feed me with his mouth!?"
Chuuya could feel his vein popping as he shoved a mouthful of rice to render him speechless, going as far as pushing the chopsticks in further in an attempt to choke him. He smiled in self satisfaction when he did hear him choke.
"Chuuya, that's mean." He pouted after swallowing.
"You deserve that."
And Chuuya would look like he's being forced to do such a task if it's not for him, using his thumb, wiping away some grains of rice or other residues on the corner of Dazai's lips and putting it into his mouth.
The two of them were so preoccupied by themselves that they had no idea the room had been filled with rainbow barf.
"There, we're done." Chuuya said while putting the last bite of croquette into Dazai's mouth. "I'm leaving." But before he could even lift his legs, Dazai's hands locked firmly on his lower back.
"Now, now, what's the hurry?" Dazai leaned up to nibble at Chuuya's lower lip, throwing the boy off guard who began hitting him.
"Stop. It!"
"Why? I haven't had my dessert." The brunet purred, chasing after Chuuya who's very much aware of the cameras directed at them both courtesy to Naomi and Yosano.
"Osamu!"
"Oh hoh, you're calling me with my given name in public. How rare."
Chuuya's eyes widened comically when he felt friction on his crotch. Just from the mere mention of his name and a switch was flipped! "Oh my god, you animal!"
"But Chuuya's the dog." He said easily while grinding their hips together with movements enough only for the both of them to notice. "Come on, let's have dessert." He whispered suggestively.
"Have it by yourself! Let me go, Dazai, I have work to do!" The redhead twisted in his hold.
"Aww but the cake is good!"
"I don't care- huh?"
"Oh my, what was Chuuya thinking? It's from your favourite store."
Only then did Chuuya stopped moving, looking down at Dazai with an unimpressed expression but the brunet could see the twinkle behind blue eyes.
"It's on my desk." He said softly, tucking Chuuya's disheveled hair behind his ear. "Go take it."
The mafia slowly got off and walked to the desk beside Atsushi's cautiously. He smiled inwardly when he saw the familiar box from his favourite bakery.
"What did you get?" He asked, giddy, and maybe it was that moment the ADA members were charmed by the unexpectedly cute mafia executive.
"Surprise." Dazai sang as he leaned on the couch to peer at Chuuya.
Curiously, the redhead began to open the box.
It exploded.
Surprise, indeed.
The aftermath :
"Chibi, come on, stop being mad!" Dazai laughed as he circled around Chuuya who's glaring at nothing in particular and refusing to meet his eyes. "I have the real one in the fridge."
Despite the bribe, Chuuya ignored him, standing up to walk to their bedroom.
"You go eat fucking bomb yourself." He said before locking said room, using drawers to add additional weight to prevent the brunet from sneaking his way in.
Needless to say, that night, Dazai ended up sleeping on the sofa.