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“If you do...” Jackson continues, “if that’s the case, it won’t happen again… so… simply—”
“Fine! I do, okay? I regret it.” The moment Stiles utters those words, he actually regrets the way it sounds. It happens too many times… somehow his mouth works faster than his brain and the consequences are usually on the negative side more times than not. It’s a second but he sees the fleeting pain on Jackson’s face and he swears he could actually feel it in his own body somehow… it is the strangest feeling.
Jackson takes a step back, running a hand through his hair. “Okay, I asked you and you answered. I appreciate the honesty but I just,” Jackson shrugs, “I don’t get it… That’s not…” What did he expect to hear? What did it feel like to him? Why the fuck does it hurt to hear that answer?
“Okay, let me get this straight. You came all the way here to tell me that you regret what happened between us?” Jackson frowns. “Wow, thanks. That’s so nice of you… but honestly, a text would have been enough.”
“No, shit...” Stiles shakes his head. “That’s not why I came here. I came to tell you that…” Stiles hesitates, avoiding Jackson’s gaze.
“I came to give this,” Stiles shows him the small folder in his left hand and gives it to Jackson who takes it with curiosity.
“What’s this?” Jackson asks as he opens it.
“I need you to sign it. So, just sign it and I’ll get out of your hair.”
“It’s… an abortion consent form?” Jackson says, raising his eyebrows. “What? Wait a minute?—Are you pregnant?”
“No, I just love spending my free time requesting documents online so that I can print them and bring them to you. Yeah, especially the part where I have to come here, after not talking to you for three weeks, and ask you to sign it as fast as you possibly can so that I can forget that this ever happened and go on with my life.”
“How long have you known?” Jackson furrows his brow.
“What does it matter?” Stiles shrugs.
“It matters to me!” Jackson waves his arms, getting angrier and angrier as he thinks about it. “You should have told me the moment you found out—I can’t believe this shit.”
“I thought you were avoiding me!” Stiles says defensively. “Your behavior after that night wasn't the most inviting to make me want to share the news with you… and besides, I knew we’d agree on this, so I didn’t see the urgency, you know?”
“That we’d agree? Are you talking about this?” Jackson holds the page high between them, leaving the folder on his desk behind him. “You expected me to agree to this? And you didn’t even bother to ask me what I thought before talking to whoever it is that you talked to?”
“Well, there hasn’t really been much talking to anybody and you don’t want to be a father any more than I do, so yeah, I thought we’d be on the same page,” Stiles shrugs.
“Okay, so you didn’t tell me because you assumed that I’d automatically sign this without a second thought,” Jackson shakes his head with disbelief.
“Unbelievable, Stilinski… you’re… wow...”
That feels wrong. The way Jackson pronounces his surname instead of his name feels utterly wrong. It always has.
“But we agree, don’t we?" Stiles opens his arms wide. "This has to be done, so the sooner we do it, the sooner we can forget about it.”
“Forget about it?” Jackson frowns. “You think I can forget I’ve helped to end a life -my son’s life!- that easily?”
“I never said it would be easy but it needs to be done because I can’t have a baby and I thought you wouldn’t want that in your life at this moment either…” Stiles says, waving his arms. “Like… are you seriously telling me that you can be a father right now? You’re a full-time student who lives with his parents! You aren’t any more ready than I am, for god’s sake!”
“You don’t know the first thing about me.” Jackson snorts. “You think you have me all figured out but the truth is that you have no idea who I am.”
“That’s not true,” Stiles shakes his head, crossing his arms.
“Yeah, yeah, it is. You think I’m this spoiled adopted kid who has no principles or worries whatsoever. You think I don’t feel responsible for anything or anyone and I don’t give a shit if someone I had sex with gets pregnant." Jackson snorts, shaking his head with a wry smile. "You thought you’d give me those papers and I’d sign them without a second thought. That’s the kind of alpha that you think I am.” Sarcasm drops in every word.
“I’ve never accused you of any of those things. I wouldn’t—”
“You don’t need to! This,” Jackson waves the form in his hand before squeezing it with both hands, making a ball with it and throwing it to Stiles who sees it falling to the floor after hitting his chest, “says everything you think about me.”
“Jackson—”
“Why the fuck did you do it if that’s what you think about me? I thought you liked me,” Jackson huffs a laugh. That statement sounds so stupid right now.
“I do like you… I’ve always—”
“Sure, on the outside. You like how I look, right? It’s the only reason why you’re attracted to me. So you thought I was a great option for your first time. But now that you’re pregnant, you’ve had to admit to yourself that you don’t really like me enough to be the father of your kid and you’re here asking me to get rid of him.”
“No. This has nothing to do with you. This is really not about you and if I like you or not—This is about us not being ready to have a kid right now—”
“That’s just it! You can’t just assume things like that for me. You should have asked me but of course, for that to happen, you had to tell me the news first, which is something that you didn’t bother to do either.”
“God, you’re infuriating!” Stiles shakes his head.
“Sure, I am… because I’m not telling you what you want to hear.”
“Please, don’t do this,” Stiles is starting to feel helpless and if he has to beg, he’s actually ready to do it. He just wants that fucking signature and to get out of there. “The last thing I wanted was to fight with you.”
“You didn’t want to fight? Well, I think this is really worth the fight... since obviously, there’s no discussion with you… No fucking dialogue—” Jackson shakes his head.
“Dialogue? What’s there to talk about? Do you want me to have no future? Because yeah, if that’s what you want for me, we can discuss it for hours on end, but that’s not what I thought that you’d want for me. Even if I’m nothing to you, I thought we were friends and I thought you’d at least give a shit about what I want for my future. I thought you’d offer me a chance to decide what I want to do with my life.”
“Sure, and I don’t deserve the same chance? You’re not offering me anything… Where's my opportunity?”
“What opportunity? You can’t compare your situation to mine!” Stiles opens his arms wide.
“The opportunity to at least think about it! Think about what I want!” Jackson sighs. “Can we at least talk about it like adults?”
“Jackson…” Stiles shakes his head. “I don’t wanna talk about it. I want it done. And I want it out. That’s all I want.”
“You know… Maybe you’re right… Maybe you can’t have a kid if you can’t even have a mature discussion about this.”
“Jackson, it is my fucking body, you know? How can you say that you support omegas’ rights and then say all this shit about—”
“Because I wouldn’t be here if my biological parents had done what you want to do. And my parents wouldn’t have had a son if they hadn’t adopted me… and they would kill me if they found out that I allowed you to do this. You've met my parents. You know them… and you should already know that.”