Chapter Text
He won't meet my gaze. He won't look me in the eyes. Please don't do this to me. You have to look at me. You have to tell me that this is all a joke, you have to laugh and call me stupid for believing such an obvious lie.
"Have I really not changed at all?"
"Not in any way that matters." Do I not matter? "You're still the pathetic little boy I first met." Were they right about me? "You're so desperate for love that you mistake my indifference for affection. It's so annoying." Do I deserve to be loved?
I don't know how to defend myself. I don't know how to say he's wrong. All of my hope comes from him. Please, give me something, anything, so that I can keep on living.
"Do you think I'm capable of changing?"
"No."
No? Is this it? Is this how my journey ends?
"Even if you did, you still wouldn't be worth loving."
Still wouldn't be worth loving.
Still wouldn't be worth loving.
Still wouldn't be worth loving.
Wouldn't be worth loving.
I have no journey. I do not matter. I am a single star in a sea of bright light just waiting to die out.
I will change into nothingness.
Yamaguchi Tadashi did not show up at Tsukishima Kei's doorstep the next morning.
Yamaguchi Tadashi did not attend classes the next day.
Yamaguchi Tadashi did not participate in practice the next afternoon.
Yamaguchi Tadashi would be nothing for the next four years.