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He had been drinking, red wine mostly, and even so, he could not sleep.
His mind seemed to be saying, to hell with rest, he was drunk and wide awake.
Lee was to join him in New York the day after, New York their home in America, the place that made him feel like he belonged.
Him, the quiet guy from Leicester who had never left England before that glorious day he got on a plane to Middle Earth.
He thought about calling Lee, he would go all poetic on him, praising his grace and mocking him at the same time for the Yankee he was. Lee would call him a drunk fuck but he would laugh. Lee always laughed.
Sleep deprived as he was, and finding himself unable to multi-task, Richard mercifully decided to close his book, half an hour stuck on the same page was about as much as he could take.
And against his better judgment, he also decided to text Lee.
"I don't think it's possible to know you and not love you."
Rolling his eyes, Richard got up to fill his glass, and managed only a few steps before his phone came to life.
A text.
It could be Graham in one of his whiskey-induced chatty moods.
Or it could be Lee, which frankly was what his heart was screaming.
Sliding his finger on the screen, he read the simple words which meant everything. Like most couple, they had their grandiloquent moments of cheesy romance and exuberance, but mostly it was easy like this.
"I miss you too, dork."
Smiling to himself, he decided against sending a heart, he was 43 for God's sake, surely he could control himself.
But the positive effects of the text were soon spoiled by life's cruel way of reminding us that things are never too easy: his wine bottle was desperately empty.
So Richard found a pair of passably clean jeans and a shirt, one that Lee had knowingly left behind. He then pocketed a bit of money and wandered out of their flat, half drunk, still not sleepy and definitely a bit famished.
Crossing the street to his regular around-the-clock dinner, he pushed the familiar door, taking in the emptiness of the place with a groan of approval. And, like a man who perfectly knows his way around, Richard walked towards his usual booth, seating down his back to the entrance.
A man soon stepped out of the kitchen to greet him. Jamie, the owner. A slender middle-aged man with a quick smile and even quicker wits.
"You should be sleeping."
"Don't tell my mother."
"The usual?"
"And a glass of wine too, not the cheap disgusting thing you try to sell me everytime."
"You wouldn't know the difference if you tried..."
"Say again, why do I even bother coming back?"
"Because you find me amusing, and there's no one else willing to cook the things you're asking me to."
"That's true. Have a glass of your house wine on me, you deserve it."
Jamie mimed a military salute to the only customer in his modest establishment, and went back to the kitchen, whistling to himself. Richard smiled, he couldn't help it, Jamie was a friend, one that would not be ashamed to tell him when he was acting like a moody jerk. And Richard liked those people best.
He did not raise his head when the small bell at the entrance rang its merry sound. He simply hoped the new guests would be quiet and paradoxically not one of those drunk people looking for food.
What his heart was certainly not expecting was the hand that came to lay on his shoulder.
A hand he knew too well.
But a hand that was only supposed to be reunited with his body tomorrow.
"I must have drank more than those four glasses..."
The hand became a body that sat next to Richard, just like it belonged there.
And it did.
"Hey babe."
"How... How did you know I would be here?"
"I'm half tempted to say I put a tracker on your phone but I found the empty bottle in the kitchen...."
Silently, Richard ordered his heart to calm the fuck down, having an attack was out of the question. Lee would be upset. And there were dirty dishes in the sink. And anyway, now that Lee was here he had other plans.
"That is the most romantic thing you've ever done for me, including coming to see The Crucible 28 times."
"I'm sure I didn't see it 28 times."
"You'll have to ask the fan girls, some tweets make me think they're keeping scores..."
Studying Lee’s eyes with an electric intensity, his hand dared a soft touch to the intruder’s face and he finally allowed a soft smile to reach his lips. Lee pulled Richard against him with the simple intimacy that had scared them so much in the early days, and which they now acknowledged as an evidence.
"You hungry?"
"I'll just sneakily steal from your plate”, came the answer paired with a teasing wink.
"Wine?"
"No thanks, there has to be a responsible adult tonight."
"For once I was willing to share with you...."
"You'll be miserable in the morning."
"No, I'll just be tired."
Jamie brought Richard's plate over, not the least bit surprised by the other freakishly tall men half sitting on his favourite customer's laps.
"Hey Lee, great seeing you. It's a good thing you came, our man is a bit out of it tonight."
"Hey J, thanks man, I'll take him from there."
"You know I'm right here guys?"
"Huh huh want to order anything Lee?"
"A coke would be good."
"Right away."
Lee turned towards Richard, clearly exhausted and a bit guilty looking.
"You have to take better care of yourself when I'm away."
"I do... Usually... "
And he did, being apart was the standard in their relationship, courtesy of their career choices, and sure they made it work pretty well, but sometimes, life took its toll.
Richard brought his fingers to delicately stroke Lee's hand, thanking whoever would listen to have been blessed with this love. He belonged to Lee, heart and soul, and was, at this point, unwilling to move away from him, from that body which was an embassy in itself, a body he could always run back to and feel at home, understood and safe no matter the place, no matter the time. Leaning forward, he kissed Lee on the neck, softly, and managed immediately after to put some distance between them. Seeing as this was a public place, however deserted, he wanted to regain control for obvious reasons, and Lee chose that moment to attack his plate.
"French fries and chocolate waffles?"
"Don't judge me cause you ain't me."
"Those thighs were no gift of the good lord, they are a direct causality of your weird gastronomic tastes."
"Shut up."
Jamie came back at that time with Lee's drink and the bill, that he left on the table.
"Gentlemen, I wish you a pleasant night", always the showman, Jamie then proceeded to bow down before heading back to his laboratory.
Chuckling, Lee helped himself from the French fries, leaving the chocolate goodies to Richard. The man certainly looked like he needed it.
It didn't take them long to finish their impromptu midnight date, and leave a generous amount of cash on the table.
Half-shouting their "see you soon J!", they made out to the door, walking side by side, not touching, but still closer than most couples.
"Let's go home."
It had taken Richard forty years to find this pure unadulterated love, a relationship so easy that it had been evident from the very beginning that they could never be anything but serious. And because Lee never did things halfway, he gradually became everything to Richard, his home, his oxygen and his daily dose of laughter. Richard still wasn’t sure what to do with his feelings; in his lighter moods, he wanted to shout to the whole damn world how happy he was, in his darker moods, he wanted to keep this thing Lee and him had for themselves, like a most treasured possession you keep from you neighbours’ prying eyes. Most of the time, he found he did not care, because whatever may happen, Lee and him were rock solid.
Lacing his fingers in Lee's, Richard smiled as he took in the city lights.
"I'm glad you're here"
He felt better than he had in a long time.