Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

All of five years old, Sakura Haruno didn’t know what she wanted to do with life. Something, surely, but what ? It’s not a decision normal, average five years old’s make. Their futures were dictated by the wishes of their parents, whether the parent’s wishes be for the child’s wellbeing or their fame and honor. In the world of physic bending powers and child prodigies, five years of age was when a child chooses (or was told) to either become a ninja or civilian. 

Sakura loved her parents, but they had a more individualistic approach on raising a child. That suited Sakura just fine, but it was rather inconveint at times.

Sakura wandered the market streets, smiling at everyone she knew and waving at friendly strangers. It's not totally fake but not totally genuine. She watches the ninja and she watches the civilians, thinking, comparing. If Sakura was a braver, more confident girl she’d go up to them and ask why? and how? , but she was not, so she didn’t. 

Sakura doesn’t know how she ended up in the hospital waiting room, just watching. Perhaps it was the dark flashes of people that trailed that way or the small civilian kid with the broken arm being corralled by his guardians but she ended up there, watching, waiting. 

Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.

Sakura keeps waiting. Every day, for a week. She just sits and waits. Sakura’s not sure what she’s waiting for, but it’s something important. 

She just knows it.

Sakura likes the nice old receptionist, Naoko-sensei, who’s a retired iryo-nin. Naoko-sensei doesn’t mind when Sakura sits around and waits, she only smiles. Once, Naoko-sensei had asked Sakura if she wanted to be an iryo-nin. 

“No,” Sakura had replied, eyes cast elsewhere, “I’m waiting, not planning.”

Naoko-sensei laughed, wry and disbelieving, “Tell me when you’ve found what you’re looking for.”

So Sakura waits. She sees people come in and come out, from the kid with the broken arm to a shinobi with a hole in his side. Sometimes she sees people come in again and again, and she sees people come in but never come out. Her eyes are burned with the images of the dead and dying, some alive some still deaddeaddead.  Her body smells of antiseptics and it takes an hour of hot water to get out but she keeps coming back. It feels important, like something she must do, though she's not sure why.

Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. 

(She’s getting so tired of waiting, but so she does.)

Some sit by Sakura. They talk or not, some just sit in silence and misery and grief. Sakura discovers no ninja in a hospital had a good mission.

Sakura waits and waits and waits.

They call her Chick.

Two months of waiting and she’s figured out who’s a regular and who’s not. They’re not what Sakura would call friends, no, they are closer to acquaintances. She knows a lot about some and nothing about others but she loves them, cares for them, all the same. It’s foolish, hoping people with a job laden in death will live, naive even, but Sakura’s never been all that wise. 

Sakura’s in the library, one of the few moments she’s not sitting and waiting. Sakura hasn’t decided what she wants to do yet. Be a shinobi or a civilian, she means. If she was a civilian she'd live and die happy and helpless. If she was a shinobi she’d live and die in red blood and grief. It should be easy to pick but…

She’s waiting. She just doesn’t know what for.

Sakura feels a tap on her shoulder and she turns around. There’s a teen with black-grey hair and obsidian eyes standing behind her. An Uchiha, her mind supplies. She’s seen a few go in and out of the hospital. When she sits by them as they wait they never say much. She gets a weak grimace at best and a sneer at worst. A feeling crashes in her chest like a tidal wave over still ocean waters. Relief, fulfilment, but only by the halves.

Something's still missing.

“You’re Chick, right? The one who sits in the waiting room?” said teen asks.

“Oh, yeah, I guess,” Sakura mumbles. She almost choked on air, fighting for control over her words and emotions, “Er, is there, uh, something you need me for? Or not- uh, sorry-”

The teen laughs, an aberration from your typical Uchiha mannerisms, “No, no, I don’t need anything. I just recognized you. Or, well, recognized your appearance from what I’ve been told. Haven’t been to the hospital recently.”

“That’s good.” It is. That means he’s either a low-ranking ninja, an in-village ninja, on a long leave, or very good at his job. 

There’s an awkward lull in the conversation before the teen speaks again. “Genjutsu? That’s a rather advanced book for someone your age.”

It takes Sakura a moment to realize that he’s talking about her book. She’s researching different shinobi techniques, and genjutsu had been the one to capture her attention, even if she needs a dictionary to properly understand it. “Oh, uh, yeah. I’m trying to, uh, research? I don’t know, if I, want to go to, the Academy.”

“You don’t know?” the teen asks incredulously. Sakura doesn't know why he's so surprised, she's rather small for her age. “Most of the jounin think you’re a hopeful iryo-nin or phycologist in the Academy!”

“Oh, uh, no.” Sakura averts her eyes, blushing. “I’m waiting.”

“Waiting? For what?”

You and something else. "I don’t know.”

Sakura starts to see more and more of the teen - “I’m Shisui Uchiha, Chick.” - and he becomes someone Sakura can call a friend. It’s not like the other shinobi in the hospital who are there only when something is wrong, Shisui likes Sakura for Sakura, not for whatever therapeutic device she becomes in the hospital.

When Shisui has a day off (few and far between) he sits with her and tells her about being a shinobi. He tells her the good days and the bad ones, and he leaves nothing out. 

Sakura appreciates it.

She still sits in the hospital, but it feels less like waiting and more like expecting, and she thinks Shisui was one piece of her eclectic puzzle. 

“Did you decide?” Shisui asks one day as he and Sakura lay about in a field, mostly consisting of evergreens and dead grass that blooms into flowers during the spring. That was Sakura’s idea of a relaxing time off and Shisui was in desperate need of time off with his missions getting harder and harder.

“On what?”

“Whether you’re going to the Academy or not,” Shisui says. He turns on his side to look at her and Sakura sighs, looking up at the sky.

“I think,” Sakura pauses, then continues, “I think I will. Just, I don’t know, to do something. ”

“As a civilian, you would do something. You could even work at the hospital or as a therapist."

"People die all the time, because someone wasn't qualified, or wasn't careful, or wasn't something more. As a civvie, I would be safer but people will continue to not be qualified or careful or something more. If I was a ninja, a kunoichi, at the very least I could change something. "

Shisui is silent for a beat before laughing quietly, "Wise words for a five-year-old. You remind me of Itachi-chan."

"Almost six," Sakura corrects with a pout, "and I'm not anything like Itachi-san. He's leagues ahead of me."

"You haven't even met him. Oh, that's a good idea. I should set up a playdate!"

Sakura spluttered at the wording. Playdate? With widely-known prodigy Itachi Uchiha. As if. He'd probably laugh to even think of gracing himself in the presence of a lonely civilian girl who sits at the hospital and waits like a looney. "Itachi-san is probably busy, he wouldn't have time for someone like me."

"Someone like you?" Shisui asks in a quieter tone.

"No potential civilian. He's a prodigy. Itachi-san's probably wouldn't even want to be around a worthless nobody-"

"You're not worthless, Sakura." Shisui's voice borders on dangerous, a very calm deadly that seems worse than yelling. "Don't you ever say that."

Sakura would never be scared of Shisui 'cause Shisui would never hurt her, but in that moment she can't deny she felt like a rabbit in a wolf's den.

"Shisui?" Sakura asks timidly.

Shisui clenches and unclenches his fist for a silent moment before sighing. "Sorry, Chick."

Sakura's seen this time and time again in people who live, bleed, and die for honor and glory. The loss of connection with the world. She's never seen it in Shisui.

"...what happened?"

Shisui looks at her from the corner of his eye but tilts his gaze back to the sky a moment later. "Had a brother who- Last time I saw him we got in a fight. He thought he was worthless, hadn't awakened his Sharingan was on the low end of his graduating class. He went on a mission and it went wrong. Like, as wrong as a genin mission could go - I never saw him again. I just, feel like, sometimes, if maybe I wouldn't have argued, he would've been in a better mindset, might've survived-"

Grief isn't a good look on Shisui. His face is droopy like wax under a flame. His normally sparkling obsidian eyes look blacker than pitch.

(He looks like a regular, who sits in hard plastic chairs as their teammates die in a sterile hospital bed because someone wasn't enough. They'd never stop being not enough. )

Sakura crawls into his lap. Shisui looks lost for a moment before he starts absently petting her hair. He's always liked her hair 'cause it was distinctive and unique, not like his common black. It must draw him back to the here and now because he sighs and shifts to curl around Sakura tighter.

"Thanks, Chick. Didn't mean to dump that on you like that."

"'s no problem," Sakura mumbles back, shifting so her head rests on his sternum, "Not like 'm not used to it."

"Still." Shisui starts to brighten as the seconds of silence pass, gaining back some of the qualities that make him Shisui and not Uchiha.

They sit there, basking in the glow of the fading sunset until their skin grows damp with rain.

Sakura starts the Academy in the spring. The cherry blossoms are just now blooming and the wind still carries a faint bite of cold. The trees are mostly green and the last fall leaves are swept away to the edge of the forest line. 

(Her birthday comes and goes with little fanfare. Shisui gets her a pretty bracelet and her parents buy her a nice cake.)

The first day is nerve-wracking. She knows nobody and nobody knows her. She recognizes three Uchiha and Naruto, who is infamous for his pranks and pariah status. Sakura doesn't know why everybody hates him so much but Shisui says that not all civilians are very smart when it comes to shinobi things, and Naruto is very much a shinobi thing. Shisui wouldn't tell her why, though.

Sakura spots other clan kids, and an inordinate amount of clan heirs she can only recognize because of Shisui, who has taken to catching her up to date in ninja matters since she declared her intentions to join the Academy. The clan heirs were an easy starter because you could find them around Konohagakure most days if you knew where to look.

Sakura also discovers bullies in the first week. Those mean, spiteful little things that torment her at recess and after school in the courtyard. Shisui tells her they're jealous of her beauty, but Sakura thinks Shisui is biased. It's probably 'cause she's nervous, and jumpy, and not at all confident.

After school when Shisui's not available (which is getting more and more common these days) she still sits at the hospital. Sakura thinks some of the regulars know she's not around as much, though she couldn't say for sure. Sakura also starts visiting some of the regulars like Gai-san and Koko-san and Jihara-san. Gai-san's very reckless, Koko-san's a frontline fighter and her technique has basically damned her to death on the battlefield, and Jihara-san's getting older now, so he's more fragile.

Some of her regulars are never there long enough for her to visit and are mostly there for teammates. Like Dog-san, Monkey-san, and Anko-san. Dog-san never talks but he's always in for himself and for his team (and always, always covered in blood), Monkey-san has a bad streak with injured teammates and a terrible lucky streak with personal injuries, and Anko-san is prone to poisoning her teammates, whether on purpose or "accident".

No one likes working with either three.

(Dog-san's team ranges from slightly unpleasant on a good day to downright venomous on a bad day. Crow-san's one of the most consistent on Dog-san's team and likes to give her pocky and pokes on the forehead, so Sakura likes Crow-san the best out of Dog-san's team.)

(Sakura's not supposed to know who Shisui is but sometimes she sees a boy in an eagle mask who pulls her into his lap and pets her head in the way Shisui did when he told her about his brother. Eagle-san even knows her name. She knows because when his teammate made it back half-way to death's door (he was so small) he called her name, her real name, as soon as he crossed the threshold. Like he was reassuring himself she was still alive.)

When Shisui is in-village they spend time catching up and relaxing. Sakura and Shisui switch on who gets to pick the activity every time they have a relaxing day. 

It's Shisui's turn to pick and all he'd told Sakura is to meet by "their" field, so here she waits. He's supposed to arrive around 1300, but he's late and Sakura is positively bored.

"Sakura-chan!" Sakura recognizes Shisui's voice and turns only to see-

Shisui is walking towards her with another boy maybe a year or two older than her and a year or two younger than Shisui.

Itachi Uchiha. Sakura only recognizes him from the times when he picks up Sasuke-san from school. It's that feeling of relief again, not as strong or potent but enough for her to almost choke right then and there.

"Sakura-chan, this is Itachi-chan," Shisui introduces when he gets close enough, "Itachi-chan, this is Sakura-chan. She's Chick from the hospital."

Itachi tilts his head at her, seeming to think. He breaks the awkward half-tension a moment later, "Hello, Sakura-san."

"Oh, uh, hi." Shisui gives her a fond look when she turns his way with a plea in her eyes.

"Sakura-chan's going to the Academy. The same year as Sasuke-chan! Not that you'd know much about that, Prodigy-san."

"Hn." Itachi turns his head off to the side just a bit. Shisui's the most expressive Uchiha she's ever met but she spends time with jaded shinobi so she can pick up little tells. Itachi's not bashful, per se, but he's also far from bragging.

"That's, uh, cool," Sakura says quietly, forcing words up her throat and out her mouth, "Sasuke-san speaks highly. Of you. I mean, I don't talk to him much, or, er, at all. But. Sometimes, when he's really happy, he brags. 'bout how cool you are. Uh, sorry, you probably didn't want to listen to me rambling. Just, uh, forget I said anything."

"It's fine." Itachi's words are blunt bordering on emotionless but the slightest hint of warmth laces his words like honey. Itachi fishes around in his pocket for half a second before he pulls out a slightly squished box of pocky. He pulls out one (it's a light strawberry pink, her favorite) and hands it to her. The end is a bit crumbly and she can point out several spots where the coating has flaked off but the awkward extension of the olive branch is so humanizing in a way little else is. 

Sakura smiles, small and shy, and takes his offering. Itachi's lips quirk up a fraction of a millimeter before leveling off again. 

Shisui stares in an almost awed silence before laughing, the belly-deep kind, and pulling both Sakura and Itachi into a hug by wrapping his arms around each of their necks. "I call this playdate a success!'

"It's not a playdate!" Sakura says with a (cute) scowl but there's no real malice behind it.

"Aww," Shisui coos, "Little Chick is growing up into a big bad Bird."

"Get off," Sakura whines. She's comfortable in a way she only feels with Shisui.

Itachi doesn't scowl or strongly resist but weakly squirms against Shisui's grip. It's not real resistance, not by a longshot, but enough to uphold the Uchiha image.

Sakura laughs, bright and cheery.

For the first time in a while, Sakura didn't feel like she was waiting.

(She still is but her puzzle is half complete and beautiful.)

Chapter Text

Sakura's six months into the Academy when Shisui talks to her about actual training. Sakura does more of an unofficial training if you will. It starts when Sakura complains about having already read all about the stuff they're saying, for once in the same boat as most of the clan children. Shisui had slyly suggested putting her to work with actual chakra and Itachi (since it was one of the rare days both boys were in-village and free) had unironically agreed, stating that if Sakura was going to be serious about a shinobi career she better be prepared. Although, Itachi had said it not in so many words.

So Sakura was sitting in their field, the one they always meet at, as she watches Shisui deftly lay out a pile of different objects.

"So," Shisui starts, "The first thing we need to do is see what basic level of chakra control you have. Everyone has a base chakra control, a level of mastery over their chakra that comes naturally to them. This is what a chakra jewel is for," Shisui says as he points out a smooth, translucent gem, "When you apply chakra to the rock it glows. The more green the color is, which is symbolic for medical chakra which takes heaps and heaps of chakra control, the better base chakra control you have. The bluer the chakra is, which represents raw, unfiltered chakra, the less base chakra control you have.

"This is all well and good if you know how to access your chakra stores, which you don't. There's no foolproof way to access your chakra 'cause it's different for different people. You lean more towards a genjutsu type, like my clan, so I'd recommend study and meditation."

"You'd be a good teacher, Shisui," Sakura praises.

Shisui laughs, soft and fond, "Only for you, Sakura-chan."

Sakura smiles, "What books would you think would be good? I've read a lot of genjutsu and chakra books, but you know that, uh, I know a few exercises in chakra control, like tree-walking and water-walking."

"I think you've got the study portion down," Shisui hums in thought, "Meditation would probably be best. Doesn't have to be a lot, just like after dinner and in the morning. It also helps slowly increase your stores."

"Ah, ok."

"Good. So, I'll tell you a little more about the other stuff I've got laid out and then I'll help you begin meditating. Sound like a plan?"

Sakura hums in acknowledgment and settles in to listen to Shisui's lecture.

Shisui is a really good teacher.

Shisui and Sakura go shopping three days later. Sakura's been meditating, just like Shisui told her to, and had just finally found her tiny pool of chakra. Shisui had assured her that it would only grow larger as she matured and practiced, like a muscle. She may also have a naturally small reserve, so chakra exercises were a must for not only increasing her pool but refining her control (which she had yet to test, by the way).

Both boys had deemed Sakura in need of appropriate attire ("For all your kunoichi needs!" Shisui had advertised with a smile) and so Shisui had dragged Sakura along on a shopping trip.

There was much store hopping and haggling with fickle store keeps and teenaged companions - "No, Sakura-chan, try this one!" "Forest greens and dark blues are best." "What if you get cold?" "In the middle of the summer?" "It's not going to be summer forever!" "Use subtle patterns to break up your figure." - but eventually they made it with several completed outfits and plenty of copies in case of wear and tear and growth. "Better to buy it all at once at your age," Shisui had said, "You're just starting so it'll get worn out as you do physical training, and girls at this age start growing fast."

The first outfit was everyday wear, good for going out and about but not attracting too much attention to the fact that she's not a civvie. It's a red qipao shirt - not a dress - with white trim. There's a pair of black baggy pants that have a built-in kunai pouch with easy access and good concealment and another pouch for miscellaneous items. It goes with a pair of black shinobi sandals that are half concealed, almost looking like a normal pair of civilian slippers. 

The second outfit is for training. It's a simple loose-fit black tee with a pair of spandex dark green shorts. A black kunai pouch is with the outfit as well as a sturdier pair of shinobi sandals and enough bandages to wrap her whole body in.

The third outfit is a mission outfit. It's a forest green tee with a soft camouflage pattern and a pair of black tights. They also bought a dark blue jacket with a dark tan fur lining for colder seasons and the same kunai pouch, sandals, and bandages as the second outfit. She has an extra kunai pouch and a small tight-fit knapsack that has a buckle for easy release. The knapsack is loaded with two storage scrolls and a multitude of other supplies that she probably won't make use of for years.

Better safe than sorry, though.

Shisui looks like he's on the verge of weirdly anime-esque tears. "You look so grown up, Sakura-chan!"

"You sound like my kaa-san," Sakura giggles.

Shisui pulls her into a hug with a grin which Sakura weakly tries to escape, whining, "Lemme go."

Shisui's laughter echoes through the store.

Sakura still sits at the hospital even though she's not really waiting anymore (Sakura's still waiting, she just won't find it in the hospital or for a long time in general). She even tells Naoko-sensei she's found what she's looking for, and Naoko-sensei says she's welcome to come back anytime. Sakura doesn't particularly like the hospital, but her regulars like her, and people still need help so she stays.

She meditates when nothing's happening. Shisui hasn't had a free day to test her chakra control so she's just training her chakra stores. It's relaxing, soothing in a way the hospital would never be. 

"Youthful Konoha Lotus! How lovely is it to see you today!"

Sakura jumps, snapping her eyes open to come face to face with Konoha's Green Beast. Sakura smiles shyly when Gai plops down next to her. 

"Hello, Gai-san," Sakura greets, "What're you, uh, in for. Today?"

"My most youthful teammates have fallen ill by the most unyouthful use of poisons!" Translation: Gai's teammate got poisoned by a very dirty tactic.

"I hope they, uh, get better."

"So do I, Most Youthful Chick!" Gai beams, his subtle genjutsu sunset shifting into the background. Sakura's always wondered if he did that consciously or not.

Gai talks about his mission, and how he is working towards his jounin rank. Sakura nods and smiles at all the right times and Gai seems happy enough to just talk at her.

"What about you, Chick?" Gai asks suddenly, "How're your studies going?"

"Well, I guess," Sakura mumbles, "I mean, in school we're just doing, uh, theory. But. Shisui and Itachi are helping me with some actual, uh, chakra practice, even though, 'm young. Say it's good for my, uh, stores."

"Shisui and Itachi?" Gai's voice is quieter than his normal three volumes too loud voice, "As in Shisui and Itachi Uchiha?'

"Uh, yeah?"

"You be careful, Chick." Gai looks grave, almost wistful. Like he's remembering something or someone. "Prodigies don't become prodigies by going easy."

"Whaddya mean?"

"I'm just saying," Gai sighs, "Be careful or you'll see things you didn't want to see. People like Shisui and Itachi don't have the same moral scale we do."

"I know."

"As long as you know, Most Youthful Chick!" And Gai was back to being Gai again.

Sakura didn't like it when people got so serious. It made her nervous and fidgety like she did something wrong. Some people were always that serious, but it's bad when happy people get serious.

"It's okay, Gai-san," Sakura says, smiling her little smile, "I know what I'm doing."

She wishes she didn't.

The first person to have another free day off is Itachi. Sakura and Itachi don't hang out alone all that much - it's awkward because of Sakura's social anxiety and Itachi's socially stunted - but when they do it's normally spent in relative silence. That's why Sakura's surprised when she arrives at their field and it's been set up into a makeshift training ground. Itachi stands in the middle, surveying his work with a critical eye.

"Good morning, Itachi," Sakura says quietly, knowing the boy can hear her even from quite a few feet away. Itachi's not startled by her presence, Sakura would be surprised if he was. The boy turns her way and beckons her over with a wave of his hand.

"Physical training," Itachi says in explanation. "You are slight and physically weak. It would be favorable to start training your body now while it is still somewhat limber."

Sakura would be hurt or offended if she didn't realize this was Itachi's special way of saying he would rather Sakura not go into the field a figurative noodle. She nods and Itachi puts her to work.

Sakura literally can't move her body by the end of the day.

"What happened to you, Sakura-chan!" Shisui exclaims, though it sounds like he's also simultaneously holding back giggles.

"Ah canth moof," Sakura whines from under her pillow. Shisui had come to visit her when he was promptly informed via hawk that Sakura would most likely be unable to leave her house. Her parents were out on the town so it was just Shisui and Sakura.

"You're gonna have to be clearer than that, Chick."

Sakura lifted her head from under her pastel pink pillow but then flopped her head right back down on top of it. "I can't move."

"I see that," Shisui laughed.

"It's your fault," Sakura (cutely) spat.

"How so?"

"You brought Itachi, therefore it's your fault."

"But you two are just so cute together. So awkward, so sweet!"

"Go away."

"Aww, but Sakura-chan!"

"Let me die in peace."

Shisui laughs.

Bastard.

It takes a month for Sakura to get back to a state of relative normalcy. Through the month she still had to do physical exercises so it was an uphill battle until the pain finally started to plateau enough for her to feel good enough to reasonably work on other things. The whole time she had been sleeping through her classes and barely getting through her training regime before collapsing at home.

Whenever Shisui was around he visited her and even once dragged Itachi, too. Though to anyone else the boy would look positively apathetic, Sakura knew had to read people, and Itachi looked at least vaguely apologetic.

It's fine. It gave Sakura something to work for, even if she wished to do anything but in the moment. Itachi hadn't been too clear on what would happen if she deviated from the schedule, but Sakura was sure it came in the form of Shisui's disappointed gaze and an intenser regime.

By the end of the month the boys declared her fit for chakra and genjutsu training. Sakura figured regular people wouldn't automatically start with something like genjutsu but the boys were from a genjutsu heavy clan and had already pegged her as a genjutsu type so they were content to throw her head first into jutsu.

Shisui begins with (finally) testing her base chakra control. 

They're in their field again, and Shisui has all his little bits and bobs laid out against the green grass. He greets her enthusiastically when she arrives and Sakura winces when he pulls her into a hug. Her body is still incredibly sore.

"So," Shisui starts with a show host smile, "The moment of truth! It only took you ages, but finally you're here! The ultimate test of chakra!"

"It's only a base test, Shisui," Sakura says with a small smile. Shisui's more childlike than Sakura, who's years younger than him, so it falls on her shoulders to reign him in when Itachi's away.

"And?" Shisui clicks with a silly smile, "Back to the point! Your chakra jewel, madame."

Shisui hands her the little translucent gem by bowing with his arm extended to her. Sakura giggles and plucks the gem out of his fingers.

"Now! Apply some chakra to the jewel. Imagine taking your pool of chakra through a small tube and up your arm and fingertips, leading right to the jewel."

"Ok, ok," Sakura mutters, flipping the gem in her hand this way and that. "Yeah, I got this. Maybe."

Sakura sinks down onto her knees and relaxed, closing her eyes and focusing on her chakra pool. She does what Shisui says and imagines a tube, small and narrow, sucking some of that chakra up and through her arm, and through her fingers, and straight into the rock. She keeps trying for a few moments before opening her eyes. 

The rock is glowing a bright green, almost as green as her eyes, with only the barest hints of blue. Sakura looks up to Shisui who's staring at the rock with a puzzled wonderment.

"Uh, Shisui?"

"Wow. Ok." Shisui shakes his head twice before taking the rock and pushing his own chakra into it. It glows a pretty turquoise color, an almost perfect blend of green and blue. "This is my base chakra control. With practice my chakra control looks more green," Shisui picks up a long clear baton-like stick and a moment later it glows a green-blue, barely greener than Sakura's own, "This is my current chakra control. It's barely as good as your base chakra control. With practice, Sakura, you could theoretically be one of the best genjutsu or iryo-nin."

There is silence for a minute.

"What?" Sakura gasps, " I- No, no, I-" Her mind reeling because nobody has ever told Sakura she could do anything, be something. "I can't- There's no way-"

Tears prickle and fall down her face, because no, this can't be real. She's never been gifted, she's never been better than some civilian nobody, and she never will be. 

(She'll never be a prodigy. A somebody.)

Shisui looks slightly panicked, like he's not sure what to do or even why Sakura's crying. He does the sensible thing and scoops Sakura up into a little ball. Sakura cries and cries and cries.

Finally, Sakura is worth something.

Chapter Text

Itachi wasn't sure what to think of Sakura Haruno. The first time he saw the small, pink-haired girl was when he only knew her as Chick. Chick, the girl who sat in the hospital waiting room and sat with unstable shinobi as they waited or grieved. Many rumors about her cropped up, ranging from being a hopeful iryo-nin or psychologist, to being an Intelligence Division prodigy on a study. Dog-taichou seemed rather fond of the child, even though he didn't say it. It lay in the way Dog-taichou let the child sit by him or even the way Dog-taichou occasionally pat her head much in the way he'd seen him pat his ninken.

Turns out, the child wasn't even in the Academy. The child's name was Sakura Haruno and she had somehow befriended Shisui. When Shisui had led him through the woods and into a clearing, Itachi wasn't sure what to expect. He had felt Sakura's chakra signature long before seeing her, and of course he had recognized her from the hospital. He didn't know what Chick was doing there at the time. 

He was then surprised when Shisui had introduced Chick as Sakura Haruno. Where had the two met? He had no clue, but there was a level of familiarity there that he hadn't seen Sakura (Chick? He wasn't sure what to call her) display with anyone else. They had at least known each other for a while.

So, Itachi did what he always did with Chick, and gave her a stick of pocky (her favorite kind, the one she always picked when he had a variety pack). The interaction was awkward at best. Sakura's speech was stunted in a way that screamed self-doubt, not a lack of education. Chick never spoke much, she was more content to sit and listen if someone had anything to say. Itachi had guessed she was just a quiet child, and it turned out he was partially correct, but Sakura was self-conscious in a way that spoke of lack of positive reinforcement.

Itachi grew closer to the girl the longer he spent with Shisui and Sakura. He watched as Shisui doted on and interacted with Sakura. Itachi hadn't known Shisui very well before his brother had died, but Itachi could imagine this was how he interacted with him.

Itachi knew, if anything were to happen to Sakura, it would break Shisui.

(The last thing Itachi wanted was for his cousin, his closest friend, to fall into that place of darkness and grief. Not Shisui, not happy, upbeat, caring Shisui. Sakura's death would be heartbreaking.)

(That's unacceptable.)

It is perhaps the reason Itachi agreed to train the girl, even when his time was so spread out between village duties and clan duties and his own brother. Itachi watched the green grass sway carefully in the wind as he waited on Sakura to arrive.

He felt her chakra as she entered the edge of the clearing and turned around. She was in her training gear, the one Shisui had gotten for her. She looked wary, eyes darting across the field. Itachi felt a little sorry for the intense physical regime that he could tell she suffered doing, but it really was for her betterment. Sakura also had a little knapsack - it was a soft camouflage forest green - that Itachi hadn't seen before. 

Itachi waited for her to reach hearing range before speaking. "Genjutsu is an illusion of the senses, as I trust you already know. It can be used to disorient an opponent, or replay the victim's worse fears or, for the more experienced, can trap the victim in years worth of endless torture. The Uchiha Clan specializes in genjutsu, and their kekki genkai, the Sharingan, can cast the strongest recorded genjutsu and can detect any illusion placed on the possessor of the sharingan."

Itachi meets her eyes. He sees her startle when she sees his Sharingan. She clutches her pack tighter but doesn't avert her eyes.

Naive, but a significant display of trust.

"You've been in an A-rank genjutsu since you first arrived in this clearing. This genjutsu called Kaze ni Kakusareta hides any objects or locations the caster wishes not to be seen. Dispel it."

Sakura tries. Itachi can see the way she's searching for the genjutsu, trying to disrupt her chakra like she's no doubt read. The technique is A-rank, though, and is purposely hard to disrupt.

"I thought so," Itachi says after a minute, "Good control, but not enough."

Itachi throws a stone at her and Sakura fumbles to catch it, looking up confusedly only once she has a solid grip on it.

"A chakra stone," Itachi explains, "By applying chakra you should be able to stick it to any surface. Then try sticking leaves to you body or other surfaces. When doing leaves, first try green leaves, before moving to dead leaves."

"Uh, ok."

"Good. Shisui should be back in two days, I leave for a mission tommorow. I will be back next month to check your progress."

"Ok-"

Itachi shunshins away.

Sakura's seen a chakra stone before, both from textbooks and from Shisui's bag of bit and bobs. She's never used one, though, and she knows it's a rather advanced technique.Sakura didn't know whether to be flattered Itachi thought she could do it or grossly disappointed she couldn't.

She consulted in Shisui when he arrived next.

"You're going about it wrong," he explains, "You should definitely do tree walking or water walking before you attempt the chakra stone. Don't feel bad, Itachi-chan's a prodigy, and sometimes he unfairly expects people to be on the same level as him."

Sakura deflates, half-dissapointed that she probably can't do it and half-relieved it's not just her.

"Don't be like that," Shisui chides.

Sakura looks up through her bangs, "I'm not half as good as you guys."

"And you probably never will, just like how I'll never really be as good as Itachi," Shisui has a soft, fond smile as he said this, "But all we can do is try because they gave us a chance to be close to them. To love and be loved."

"Now you sound like my tou-san," Sakura sniffs, eyes just a tad watery, "All pretty words 'n stuff."

Shisui only laughs, patting Sakura's back ever so gently.

"Why don't we work on walking on trees, and once you've got that and water-walking you can keep trying on that chakra stone until Itachi gets back, 'kay? I even got a few days before my next mission."

"Okay," Sakura smiles, "That sounds nice."

"Doesn't it?"

"Yeah, it does."

A month later Itachi's back. Sakura can now walk on trees and water. She can stick her little chakra rock on relatively smooth surfaces for a minute or two and can stick on fresh leaf on her finger.

Sakura tells Itachi all this, and his face doesn't betray any emotion when she's finished.

"You asked around, did you not?" Sakura nods. "Good. I was not expecting you to achieve this, it is advanced for your current skill level, however, I was hoping to gauge your mindset when it came to directions and goals. A test in determination and critical thinking, you could say. 

"If you were one to throw your hands in the air as soon as you were faced with a wall you couldn't scale the first try, this would take much longer than I would hope. On the contrary, you didn't give up, you used your abilities to your advantage. I already had some idea when you started your physical training, but this cements the idea. This means I can trust you to do what I say even when you struggle."

Sakura blinks, and blinks again. She turns her head, quietly wiping her eyes (what did she do to deserve such good people?) before shooting Itachi a wobbily smile.

Itachi blinks before his features soften. He pulls out a little bag of pocky (a mix of all their favorite flavors, Itachi's chocolate, Shisui's vanilla, and Sakura's strawberry) before handing her three, one of each kind.

Sakura cries, just a little.

"Sakura-chan?"

Sakura stops in the doorway to her home, and turns back to see her parents right behind her. Tou-san's arms are full of groceries and Kaa-san's purse is slightly ajar. Sakura hasn't seen much of her parents between the Academy and spending time and training with Shisui and Itachi.

"Darling, we haven't seen you in forever, why don't you come have lunch with us? We were going to go to your favorite tempura place."

"Oh, uh, ok," Sakura mumbles. She helps her parents place the groceries on the kitchen counter and she changes into her everyday wear. 

The market streets are busy. Lunch time is one of the busiest times of the day, with shoppers bustling everywhere and stores full of customers. Sakura waves at the man running the counter of Yoko's Tempura and her family finds a seat at one of the booths near the front. Sakura catches a few shinobi in civilian garb that look at her or give her a subtle nod. Between being Chick from the hospital and the rumors about her, Shisui, and Itachi which have been flying about, most shinobi recognize her by her hair and eyes.

Which is both a good thing and really, really not.

Sakura pretends not to notice the looks and smiles at those who nod at her. She refocuses on her parents who are smiling and talking about the newest jeweler in town.

Sakura has drifted recently. She finds it harder and harder to relate to her parents the more time she spends in the shinobi side of Konoha. Civilians and shinobi exist in two separate worlds that occasionally collide. Sakura smiles and nods at all the right times and laughs when their parents joke about stoogey neighbors and overpriced goods.

Sakura goes home and straight up into her room.

She doesn't know when home got so lonely.

Sakura's next assignment was to successfully cast a simple E-ranked genjutsu which distorted the appearance of the caster. Itachi had explained it was one of the very basic genjutsu that was mandatorily taught in the Academy. Henge, he called it. Advanced for a six-year-old, as easy as blinking for a genin. 

Unremorsefully, he told her that he would teach her Henge first if only because of the color of her hair and eyes - it was horrid for any kind of infiltration, much less stealth.

It took her two weeks before she could do so, and Itachi wanted it without any hand signs.

Itachi popped in somewhere during the two-and-a-half-week mark, unusually blank-faced.

"Shisui's in the hospital," Itachi holds out his hand in front of her and when she takes it he turns sharply in the direction of the hospital, "Come, he wants to see you."

Sakura's all too familiar with the hospital. The stench of death and antiseptics lingers everywhere. Sakura's never been in for someone she knows, though. It's a different experience when you know someone you care about is behind those walls. That you're only at the hospital because someone you love is in it.

Itachi and her stalk through the halls. The only interruption is the receptionist who attempts to stop them, citing only direct family are allowed in, but Itachi only looks at her long and hard, his sharingan spinning, for her to relent.

Shisui looks happy to see her, despite being wrapped in bandages from head to toe.

"Sakura-chan!" Shisui coos, "I missed you!"

"I missed you, too," Sakura mumbles, crawling onto the creaky hospital bed when the boy indicates for her to join him, "I was worried when Itachi told me you were in the hospital."

"'M fine." Liar. "Just wanted to see you. How're you doing with your henge?"

"Okay, I guess." Sakura snuggles into Shisui's side as Itachi pulls out a chair next to them. "Can only do it with hand signs, though."

"That's fine," Itachi cuts in, "You didn't have much time."

"Aww, Itachi-chan," Shisui coos, "Getting soft? Or is it just Sakura?"

"Hn," Itachi grunts in lieu of words. Sakura doesn't know what that's supposed to mean but Shisui starts laughing in a way that means he does.

"What happened?" Sakura mumbles into Shisui's chest after a moment of companionable silence.

"Ah."

"Torture," is Itachi's blank reply, and Sakura whips her head up, "At least two days."

"Oh." The information sinks in. "Are you okay?" Sakura taps his head.

"There's been worse." Shisui shrugs, or, at least, tries. "They make you go through it during ANBU training so this was pretty mild."

"But it hurts."

"It's better to hurt, at least you know you're alive."

"At least you're alive," Sakura echoes quietly.

"Hn."

Shisui is released after another day and the three (Itachi had three mandatory days of rest and Shisui was off the roster until he fully recovered and went through a psych examination) decide to camp out at Shisui's house. By default, Sakura had to meet Shisui's mother and father, both of whom are charming in their own way. She can see where Shisui gets it from.

Aside from that, Sasuke joins them around lunch.

"Oh," Sakura says when she spots Sasuke staring at her with a tilted head.

"Sasuke-chan!" Shisui exclaims, sitting upright only to be pushed back down by Sakura, "Did you bring some of Mikoto-oba's wonderful cooking?"

"What's she doing here?"

Sakura flinches and Itachi is quick to chide his brother. All he says is "Sasuke" but apparently that's sufficient enough to make Sasuke appear the slightest bit sheepish.

"...sorry." It sounds like it pains him to say it.

"'s fine."

The silence that follows is painfully awkward. 

"Sasuke, you know Sakura, she's in your class; your brother and I are teaching her some things."

The look on Sasuke's face is incredulous, a hint of flushed rage smattered on his face.

"What?"

"Otouto-"

"You're teaching her!" His breaths come out in angry huffs, "She's no one! She's not even an Uchiha, she's not even your family!"

"Sasuke."

The boy's pretty features are twisted in a scowl, and he storms out not a moment later, taking the food with him.

"He's right," Sakura whimpers, holding her hands over her eyes.

"No, no, he's not," Shisui pulls Sakura into the bed, "He's just angry. You're fine, you're fine."

"What do you even see in me? I'm nobody! No clan, no kekki genkai, nothing! Just some little bit of good chakra control!"

"Sakura," Itachi says suddenly, "You have potential. It's exactly that reason that we are trying so hard. There aren't many people who can see your potential, and there are even fewer who would help you hone it."

Tears leak from Sakura's eyes, her shoulders tremble. Not a sound come out.

No words were needed.

When they had went to see Shisui, Itachi and Sakura weren't exactly discreet. The small rumors that floated about the shinobi ranks spread like wildfire among all of Konoha now that they had more substance to them.

Students looked at her funny, teachers looked at her funny, perfectly random strangers looked at her funny.

Everyone looked and judged.

Of course, no one said anything to her face, not with Itachi and Shisui being elite shinobi from a clan infamous for being not-so-merciful.

Sasuke deigned to look at her now if only to glare at her when she was and wasn't looking.

Itachi had to leave the second day after Shisui's release, and Shisui still had a while before he was back on the roster.

Sakura spent many days just camping out in Shisui's house, avoiding her parents who kept staring at her strangely and avoiding people in general, really.

Sakura commented on this, once. Shisui only smiled a sad little smile, and ruffled her pink locks saying, "such is the way of the shinobi."

Lonely, he meant.

Itachi returns after only a week, right about when Shisui is due for his psych evaluation.

Sakura watches, listens and reviews and studies everything that is said and done. It's a lesson, that's why they've brought her. How to give half-truths and almost-lies. Just enough to pass.

Shisui isn't fine. He tells her that one night. However, no shinobi truly is. It's just those who can hide it and those who can't.

It's the shinobi's true art; lies and secrets.

Sakura learns, and reviews, and studies; by the end of the week she can do the henge as easy as she can blink.

She thinks her boys look proud.

Chapter Text

It's subtle, the sound of the person in the house. Footsteps invisible, breathing quieted. It's only the ping in the detection field the boys had placed around the house that alerts her to their presence.

She's scared. No one's supposed to be here, not this late at night. The clock counts 0433, much too late for any "visitor".

A scream rings through the house, short. It cuts off instantly. A second one follows, just as short. Sakura scrambles to slip under the bed, only managing to tangle herself into her pastel pink bed sheets.

She sloppily activates the alarm seal on her window seal. It should warn Itachi and Shisui. It's an item they installed after news about the three went public. Enemies, they had said, who would readily take advantage of a point of vulnerability for two elite shinobi especially since it takes the form of an "unguarded" civilian girl.

There's a figure in the door, a kumogakure hitai-ate gleaming from the moonlight filtering through the window. It's not untypical of the village to conduct plans like this. Case in point: the infamous Hyūga Incident.

"Little girlie," the man's voice rumbles through her room like a twisted battle song, "time to come with me."

Sakura stays silent, trying to untangle herself from the blankets. The man's smile is predatory, like watching a mouse fumble in his trap.

"Leave me alone." It doesn't have as much strength as it ought to.

His laughs are maniac as the man grabs her by her face. She struggles futilely. He slowly pulls out a kunai, tantalizingly slow.

"That Uchiha bastard killed my whole platoon," he spat, "Saving that scum we'd caught. Pathetic. Should've left him to die. Now, I don't want to kill you just yet, that wouldn't be any fun, but I've got to get outta here. Hm, where to go, where to go."

Sakura's increasing struggles only seems to further amuse the man. Shisui… Itachi…

Sakura spits in the man's face, and his cheeks flush an angry red.

"You brat-"

A slice down, thick and deep, right over her left eye. The pain is excruciating, it makes her writhe and lose touch to her senses. She realizes she's dropped after some time. The pain doesn't even register. 

She's scooped up by a smaller, leaner pair of arms. Whoever it is, mutters tiny, soft curses every moment between breaths.  Sakura whines pathetically, and the grip tightens, the pace picking up.

"Is he dead?" The person carrying her.

"Yes." A different, monotone voice.

"Good." The person carrying her (Shisui, her brain dimly recognized).

She's only half-aware, fading in and out of consciousness. Voices murmur above and beside her. It's like floating in a blissful sea of numbness, relief from pain. Her thoughts aren't stringing together properly, they're all sedated and loopy.

"Sakura-"

"-loss-"

"-permanent-"

"-take her-"

It all came to her in bits and pieces. She realizes as the effect fades and the pain returns that Shisui and Itachi must have saved her.

"Shi- Shisui?"

"I'm right here." His voice is all deep and sad. It doesn't sound as good on him as happy and dramatic Shisui.

"I'm just worried. You scared us."

Did she say that aloud? "You- you s-sound like my kaa-san when I stay out t-too late."

A painful pause. "Here, drink this."

A glass is pressed to her lips and she gulps down the water on reflex alone. She can't see, she belatedly realizes. Reaching up, Sakura can tell bandages are tightly woven against her eyes.

"You've lost seeing in one eye," Itachi says, and Sakura startles, not knowing he was in the room at all, "The doctor covered it as to not irritate the eye further."

"Oh." Oh. "I-"

Sakura doesn't cry, but she feels like she should. Something, something that is hers is gone. Something she's had for her entire life.

"Sakura," Shisui says after an awkward pause, "Your- uh-" She's never heard him stutter. "Your parents didn't-"

"Your parents were murdered when the Kumo-nin broke in."

Leave it to Itachi to break bad news without remorse.

Shisui lays his head down on her chest, muttering soundless apologies. Sakura- Sakura feels numb again. Like someone's flipped a switch on her emotions.

"No, no, that's not right," Sakura murmurs to herself; empty, hollow, "They were at- and then they were-"

"Shisui's parents have offered you their home," Itachi continues on, and his voice is hollow too.

She doesn't acknowledge, just kind of stares into the distance.

"Please cry, Sakura," Shisui begs, "Please, please. Don't- don't hide it all away."

And so she cries.

Shisui's parents have set up the guest bedroom for her but Sakura spends all her time in Shisui's bedroom, whether or not he's in the village. She doesn't go to school for another two months, and when she does she's combed her hair to cover her eye.

(She spends her seventh birthday without her parents.)

Shisui braids her mid-back length hair and threads it with a thin wire. It's an Uchiha tradition for kunoichi, he tells her. Her smile is small and barely there but it is genuine and heartfelt. Shisui smiles too and kisses her temple before he heads out.

She gives him a necklace with jade green beads and a metal cherry blossom. She tucks it into his shirt and wishes him well.

Itachi stops by whenever he can. He and Shisui discuss clan things and they do it in front of her because they trust her.

They all talk about dyeing her hair. Maybe a black, maybe brown. The boys say it's good for her, to separate herself from the trauma.

It's a night like most these days. Shisui had gone out for training and Sakura was at his house, tidying his room to the point of perfection.

He doesn't show for dinner and he doesn't show that night. Sakura lays awake in his bed when Itachi creeps through the window. He says nothing, he just sits at the edge of Shisui's bed.

"I'm sorry."

That's all Sakura needs to hear to know that something is terribly, irreversibly wrong.

"What-"

"Shisui. He..."

Sakura knows. How she wished she didn't.

(Shisui is never coming home.)

She wonders if her life can get any worse. 

Shisui's funeral is beautiful. Uchiha has an ancient traditional ceremony for their dead and it's perfect and beautiful, and everything Shisui would have wanted.

Sakura hides in the fiery reds of her cloak, a color that the Uchiha wear to symbolize the fire that burns the body and frees the soul to the afterlife.

She dyes her hair a dark brown-red.

(It looks like the dying leaves of fall, the exact opposite of her spring pink hair.)

Sakura looks different in the reflection, her jade eyes are less soft and more striking now.

No one she knows (knew) comments on it when she returns to everyday life. Itachi pokes her forehead and begins the genjutsu lesson where- where (Shisui) it left off.

(She hasn't been to the hospital in months. She doesn't know if she can. It's what led to meeting Shisui, and who would recognize Chick without her pink hair?)

It's hard, living without Shisui. Two years she's spent days just being with Shisui, talking and training and doing things. Suddenly, he's gone for good.

(Shisui dies with her necklace on him, the one that was supposed to keep him safe.)

Three months pass and the pain only gets slightly better. She doesn't like cherry blossoms anymore and all her mirrors are put away. Shisui's parents still let her live with them, because they say she's still family, it's what Shisui would have wanted. Sakura doesn't so much as look at his door for the first month and by the second she won't sleep anywhere else, even if it hurts.

(Her parent's house is still in Sakura's name. She hasn't been inside it yet.)

Itachi creeps in through the windowsill, which isn't unusual. Itachi's been incredibly busy and grieving himself but he still finds time to just sit with her.

Today, though, he's covered in blood.

"Itachi?" Sakura asks. She's not scared because Itachi is Itachi, but she's definitely shaken, "What? What happened?"

"I'm sorry." That's not good. The last time he said that was-

(Shisui's death.)

"Why?"

Itachi puts a hand to her temple. Sakura doesn't flinch.

Sakura sees a flash of green for a fraction of a second before her world goes dark.

When Sakura wakes up, it's to white hospital sheets and the smell of antiseptics. Her room is strangely empty. The beep of a heart monitor goes off near her ears. Sakura sees the button that would call a nurse to her room but doesn't press it.

In all honesty, Sakura's not sure why she's here.

Sakura notices something's off, but can't place it. It takes her a few minutes, examining her surroundings, before realising her bangs have been brushed off her left eye and her depth perception isn't off in the way it used to be.

She looks down at her hands and can see the subtle lines of chakra pathways through her arms.

Sakura closes her right eye warily, and the chakra lines sharpen, becoming more prominent against her arm.

Which shouldn't be possible, because she has no dojutsu, much less a strong one like something that can see chakra pathways.

"Ah, Sakura-kun." A doctor in his mid-thirties walks in, and Sakura snaps her head up in his direction. "Good to see you awake. Now, not to make you feel overwhelmed, but shinobi are here to interview you about your relationship with Itachi Uchiha."

"Oh, uh-"

"Good. I will send them in."

The doctor leaves and three men enter. One is someone she recognizes as the Yamanaka clan head. Another is a man with a scarred face with a bandana covering his bald head. Another is a man with curly brown hair and a single golden tooth.

The Yamanaka head speaks first, "Hello, Sakura-kun. I am Inochi Yamanaka, head of the Inteligence Analysis Team. This is Ibiki Morino, head of T&I," he points to the scarred one, "And this is Kenji Sato, head of Konoha's Intelligence Division," he points to the golden-toothed man, "We're here to ask you some questions."

Kenji speaks next, "You see, on Wednesday you were left by an unidentified shinobi at the hospital at around 2000 with a temporary eye transplant meant for field emergencies. We've identified the eye as Shisui Uchiha's, and it seems to be irreversibly stuck in the Sharingan state. About three hours later patrols found the entirety of the Uchiha compound and it's residents dead. The only known survivors are Sasuke and Itachi Uchiha. Itachi Uchiha is the known perpetrator for the massacre.

"We have been informed you had a close relationship with Itachi Uchiha and the late Shisui Uchiha. We would like to know your last interaction with Itachi Uchiha."

"Well, uh," Sakura takes deep breaths. She's overwhelmed from so much information at once. "It- it was late, and, uh, Itachi came in through the window-"

"What room were you in?"

"Shi- Shisui's old b-bedroom, in his parent's house."

"Was Itachi Uchiha coming through your window normal?"

"Yeah. Yes, uh, it was pretty usual. Um, Itachi never takes the, uh, door."

"Ok, continue."

"He was- Itachi was covered in blood. I- I asked him, uh, what happened. He didn't tell me," Sakura fidgits and touches her temple, "He just, put his fingers, uh, right here. Then- then everything went dark. I think- think I passed out? I assume, I guess."

"Ok, ok." Kenji steps back and Inochi takes his place.

"What was your relationship with Shisui, Sakura-kun?" Inochi asks softly.

"Um, we were close, really close. Uh, he is- was probably my only friend for a- a long time. Er, he introduced me to Itachi, and was, uh, mostly in charge of my- my training."

"When was the last time you saw Shisui?'

"It was, uh, the day before, he-" Sakura chokes a little here, but doesn't cry, "died. He went out to- to train, I think. He- he never came home."

"How did you find out about his death."

"Itachi. He, uh, told me, in the- early morning? Said, said he'd jumped, right into- into Naka River-" Sakura coughs, trying desperately to bring air into her lungs. Her eyes sting but no tears fall. "Said he was sorry."

"For what?"

"For-" Sakura stops and glances skywards, "I- I don't know."

The questions stop soon after that. The men leave and the doctor comes back in with a few nurses to check her out. She's physically fine; the eye transplant went smoothly and she wasn't harmed beyond that. The question of her mental health pops up a few times, as well as where she'll be living.

Sakura's told that Shisui's parents left the house and their belongings to her after Shisui died. Sakura doesn't know what she wants to do, but everyone else suggests they put her in Shisui's house. For her safety, of course.

(Sakura thinks it is because Shisui's house is farther from the village and closer to Sasuke. They're keeping the last Sharingan's close together for protection. Both Sasuke and herself are flight risks, and if they have both of them in one general location it's easier to safeguard than two separate locations and working around civilians and potential hostage situations.)

Sakura is kinda numb for the most part. She's just waiting for the lid to blow and all of it to come rushing at her.

A week later they decide to move her into Shisui's home. Shisui's parents room is taped up. Sakura peeks in, once, sees the bloodstained sheet and never goes back in.

Sakura spends her time in Shisui's room. She's got a month off from the Academy and nothing else to do aside from continue her training regime, even if it pains her to do so.

So Sakura goes about like nothing ever changed.

(But everything has changed.)

Chapter Text

Sakura spends a year feeling lonely and alone. She continues her physical training (alone) and excels at the Academy, neck and neck with Sasuke. (Her genjutsu lessons don't start again. Nobody is there to teach them, anymore.) She masters her chakra rock and can stick leaves to all her fingers. (Once she’s mastered it she stuffs the rock in the back of her drawer and plans to forget about it.) Sakura hates pocky and cherry blossoms and birthdays. (Her eighth birthday is spent alonealonealone.) 

She keeps her hair braided with wire and doesn't change any of her outfits. Her hair stays the color of dying fall leaves. 

(She never goes back to the hospital. She never becomes Chick again.)

Sasuke doesn't look at her, not even to glare, and neither does she. They both try to pretend like the other isn't there. Once, they get partnered up in class. It ends in a perfect project that's been split down the middle. Sakura does her part and Sasuke does his and neither of them say a word to each other.

They're not partnered up again.

Sakura sees a replica of the necklace she gave Shisui and almost has a public breakdown. She doesn't, but she barely makes it home before everything crashcrashcrashes onto her like water when a dam breaks.

She's in her third year of the Academy and learning nothing. People tend to avoid her and she still catches glimpses of dark shadows trailing her. She keeps a small henge over Shisui's eye so nobody ever sees it, even if most know that it's there. She sees the faint trails of chakra pathways on people and residual chakra in the air, and when she closes her normal eyes that sense sharpens.

(She never intentionally uses it for anything, but it never stops working. It sees right through the hair over her eye so she just brushes it back and waits for it to grow out.)

Sakura is tired. World-weary in a way eight-year-olds should never be. Just bone-deep tired.

Yet, she persists.

(She doesn't like to think about Itachi, or what he did. She doesn't like to think about his "sorry’s” or his bloody hands. She doesn't like to think about why instead of killing her he gave her Shisui's eye.)

When Sakura goes home one day - a day like many others but she knows even those can go terribly, terribly wrong - when she catches a glimpse at the Uchiha Main House. Her chest begins to itch and her ears begin to twitch and that ever-lingering feeling of waiting slams her hard. She freezes because she knows this is important.

Sakura looks back at the path to Shisui's house (not hers, never hers) and then again to the Main House.

(thisisimportantsososoimportantdon'tleavedon'tturnaway )

Sakura finds herself at the door of the Main House, fist raised to knock. She- What if she's wrong? What will she do-

"What are you doing?" 

Sakura jumps and spins around only to find Sasuke staring at her. His face, a hurricane of contradicting emotions. He's not as good at concealing emotions as his brother, not nearly half as good.

"I- I'm sorry- I- I should, just, go," Sakura makes a move to leave, embarrassed and so, so confused, when-

"Why?"

"Oh, uh." Sakura turns around, fidgeting. "Why, uh, what?"

"Why are you so! Nervous! Quiet! Like, like you weren't taught by him! He- Why?" Sasuke looks to be on the verge of a breakdown, confusion twists his features like a wound-up spring.

"I'm- what? I- I don't know- What?- uh, it's the, the way I am, I guess?"

"That's not- You should be confident- and strong- and, and anything but how you are!" Sasuke is trembling, his frame shaking with emotion. "He- He taught you! You, pink-haired civilian nobody, over his own brother! He told you things he never, ever told me! Never! Why were you so special! Why!"

"I don't-" Sasuke's words hit her hard. They worm their way under her skin and into her heart. "I don't- I'm sorry- I don't- I don't know- I never- I never know. I'm sorry- imsorryimsorryimsorryimsorry ."

Their tears soak into the ground and water the seeds of companionship.

Sasuke silently leads Sakura inside once they've both stopped crying. It's awkward, almost painfully so, but Sakura stays. Sasuke quietly prepares tea, and when he's done they both sit quietly at the table. Sakura fidgets and looks at her tea rather than at Sasuke.

"...What- That night- What happened to you?"

"Oh, uh." Sakura knows what he means, despite Sasuke's stunted wording. "He, uh, gave me. Gave me Shisui's- I'll- I'll just-"

Sakura drops the henge and Shisui's eye spin red. Sasuke gasps and stands up, but Sakura flinches back and rapidly says, "Don't- It's his, Shisui's- Don't- I didn't mean- I didn't want-"

"Why? Why would he-"

"I don't know- I don't-"

Sasuke and her both break off, just staring at each other.

"He hurt- He hurt me, too, you know. He didn't just- just leave you."

"He killed my family!" Sasuke yells, slamming his hands on the table, "He killed them all and made me relive it!"

"I know that!" Sakura's frame shakes. "I know! You know, they suspected him in Shisui's death! Shisui, who gave me a chance, who loved me, who was my only friend, my brother! I thought I could trust Itachi!" Quieter, she says, "We all did."

Sasuke falls down into his seat, his breaths labored, "You wouldn't know- They were my family."

"I know- I'll- I'll never know, but- but there are ways people- other people- can help. We don't need to go through- go through exactly what you have, to still help. Even- even if you just want to talk." Sakura looks at Sasuke who's staring at her with that incomprehensible look. "And- and we don't- people like me and- and you, we don't- don't have that many people who- who would listen- listen and understand. So- so we gotta look out for- for each other, right? 'Cause- 'cause who else will?"

Sasuke doesn't say anything, just stares and stares and-

"Fine."

Sakura snaps her head up from where she was staring at her teacup. Sasuke seems all droopy like Shisui sometimes got when he remembered something sad. 

"O-oh." Sakura shifts with unease, but her resolve strengthens to iron and she stares Sasuke in the eye. "Do you wanna talk?"

Sasuke talks, albeit a bit stunted and awkward, and Sakura tells him about herself, almost as stunted and awkward as Sasuke.

Not everything is perfect, but the roots have wiggled and twisted inside their hearts, stringing them together by strong branches.

Sasuke looks tired by the time they're done. His eyes are still puffy from tears and she's sure he's re-lived some things he didn't want to just as she has, but Sakura thinks he feels better with it off his chest. She knows she feels better.

"You can stay in one of the guest rooms."

Sakura glances back at Sasuke, who is mechanically putting away the tea and breathes deep and long before coming up next to him and taking his hand. Sasuke flinches and looks at her sharply, but doesn't pull away.

"Do you- do you want to go t-to Shisui's? With me. To-" Sakura weakly waves a hand around the house, "to get away. I get it if- if you don't-"

"No." Sasuke cuts her off. "No, I will go with you."

"Oh. Oh, ok.”

Sakura leads Sasuke out of his house (full of ghosts) and along the trail to Shisui's house. The way there is silent, but not in the awkward way it used to be.

When they arrive, Sakura takes Sasuke into Shisui's room and sets up an old dusty futon. Shisui's parents' room is still taped up and untouched and the guest room that had been set up for her is still decorated in pinks. She hasn't touched either in forever. Shisui's room is much the same as when he left it, sans the few personal touches Sakura has left here and there.

After all that's said and done, Sakura moves to give Sasuke the bed but the boy only silently shoves her away from the futon and plops down on it himself. There isn’t that good night or whispered words in the dark but Sakura feels they each silently said it in their own way.

Something shifts, roots bury deeper and trees bloom, and suddenly Sasuke and Sakura don't avoid each other, instead, they stay close and don't stray very far. It's different to have someone who understands, who knows all your darkest fears, and to know their fears too. A strong bond is formed, one that tangles them together by roots and trunks and branches.

They start to be partnered up in class and in spars. While it isn't smart to pair the top two in the class together, they only get along with each other, and in spars, they are almost equals.

Sasuke is naturally stronger and faster and he only gets stronger and faster the more he trains and fights, but Sakura is small and slippery, her fighting style consisting of dodging the enemy and getting in quick blows that eventually stack up. In a real battle, she would use that time to trap her target in a genjutsu but for now, she only spars in taijutsu.

Sasuke spends a lot of time at Shisui's house and they both contemplate leaving the Uchiha Compound altogether. It would be good for their mental health and when they are safer of mind, they could come back and restore it.

(Sasuke includes her in these plans. He doesn't say I, he says we. Sakura feels all nice and gooey inside at that.)

Days and months pass. Sakura and Sasuke move out into a cheap little apartment in the shinobi district. It has two bedrooms but Sakura and Sasuke just share one and turn the other into a guest room. Sakura admits that it feels better to be out and Sasuke quietly agrees. 

Life goes on, for better or for worse.

The more Sasuke and Sakura talk the closer and more comfortable they become with each other. Sakura jokingly says she must be cursed because Uchiha never seem to leave her alone.

That makes both of them sad.

(Damn Uchiha won't stop dying, either. She won't let that happen to Sasuke, even if it costs Sakura her life.)

(A traitorous voice in her head says she said that about Shisui once too.)

Sasuke and Sakura only grow stronger as they train together. Soon, they both know each other's fighting style better than the back of their hand.

Soon, both are only matched by each other in class. They call Sakura and Sasuke weird and distant and odd. Sasuke is quiet, saying only what he needs to say. He doesn't play like the other boys and he keeps his distance from people in general. Sakura is nervous and jumpy. She trips over her words and doesn't voice her opinions.

And they always, always stick together.

("They're just kids," Sakura says.

"They're our age," Sasuke replies.

The pink-haired girl first taps her temple, then her raven-haired companion’s. "Not where it matters.")

And life goes on.

Sakura turns nine and Sasuke gets her a pair of earrings. They're red jewels with little black veins running through it and can store chakra. There's no cake and no party, but they both skip school and don't train.

They just enjoy the day. Sakura doesn't remember the last time she's done that.

(Sasuke helps her dye her hair from where it's roots are showing. He asks her why she doesn't use a henge on her hair like she does Shisui's eye. She tells him a henge wouldn't make it real.)

(She still hates cherry blossoms and pocky but she hates birthdays just a little less.)

Sakura doesn’t know what to think about Ino Yamanaka’s self-imposed rivalry with her. Sakura understands when Sasuke complains about Naruto’s need to make a rival out of Sasuke now. It was around the beginning of Sakura’s fourth year of the Academy when Ino had declared Sakura her opponent for Sasuke’s love. Sakura doesn’t see the point, considering most of them are not even in the double digits yet, but most girls in her class had taken to trying to win her raven-haired friend’s affection.

Sakura almost-laughs because to Sasuke, fangirls are the bane of his very existence.

(Sakura doesn’t laugh much, hasn’t since Shisui was alive and Itachi was still someone she could trust, but Sasuke can draw it out every once in a while. If she’s really lucky, Sakura can get a laugh out of Sasuke, too.)

Sakura doesn’t feel the romantic love most girls claim to feel at the mere sight of Sasuke. Sakura doesn’t love Sasuke, the boy is her closest and only friend, and Sakura leans on Sasuke for emotional support as much as Sasuke leans on her, but what she feels isn’t romantic. Ignoring the fact that they’re too young for love, period, Sakura knows she isn’t in a place that she could make herself vulnerable to another person like that.

Yet, Ino Yamanaka is determined, and not much has stopped the girl yet.

“Hey, Billboard Brow!”

Sakura starts to turn but Sasuke bumps her with his elbow and she aborts the motion. Instead, Sakura keeps walking, though she’s just waiting for the follow-up.

“Don’t ignore me!” Ino speeds up and attempts to grab Sakura’s shoulder while she’s turned around but Sasuke swiftly tugs his false-brunette companion so that the Yamanaka’s hand slips right past without making contact.

Ino however, seems to be content letting her crush’s attempts to remove Sakura from the impending confrontation slide off her like water on a duck’s back. “Don’t avoid me, Forehead!”

Sasuke is well aware of what Ino’s insults do to the already self-conscious girl and has been trying to separate the two without actually leaving Sakura’s side. Unfortunately, the Yamanaka girl had cornered them on their way to their dingy little apartment which meant Sasuke and Sakura had to either ditch or let the confrontation happen lest they let Ino know where they live.

He’s about had enough.

“I’m sorry- I- I don’t want t-to fight, Ino-san,” Sakura mumbles quietly, half-hiding behind Sasuke, “I’m- I’m not fighting you over, Sasuke-”

“Yeah, right! You’re just pretending to be innocent so you can cozy up-”

“Yamanaka.” The sound of Sasuke’s voice cuts Ino off instantly. The word is laced with venom and irritation and she can see Ino flinch if only just a little.

“Yes, Sasuke-kun?”

“Leave,” Sasuke tells the girl bluntly, “You’re disturbing our time and causing a scene. Sakura doesn’t want to talk, so go. ”

Ino looks left and right to see that indeed, Sasuke was right in that the group of pre-genin were being watched from all directions. Between the last Uchiha, the Yamanaka heiress, and Uchiha Itachi’s only known student, they made quite the group. Sakura shrunk back more, shoulders hunching forward to make herself seem smaller.

“But-”

Sakura straightens fractionally, annoyance leaking into emerald eyes. “Please leave Ino-san, or we’ll have to report- report you for harassment”

Now, harassment done right was fine. If you didn’t let yourself be caught in the act by witnesses, you were fine. However, open and public confrontations are frowned upon and can be reported for an infraction against the aggressor which would make it harder for said shinobi to rise through the ranks. If Sasuke reported Ino, it would be a sign of the Uchiha breaking any future ties with the Yamanaka and in turn, the Nara and Akimichi, which could only spell doom for any future Uchiha.

If Sakura reported Ino there would be consequences. With no affiliated clan, Sakura reporting Ino wouldn’t cause any clan dissension, and as one of Konoha’s last loyal Sharingan users, the Hokage would have to issue some consequences. If he didn’t, he would risk losing her loyalty, and subsequently Sasuke’s, as it was well known that where Sakura goes Sasuke follows, and vice versa.

This could block Ino from becoming a full jonin, and even blocking from going rising above chunin if the infraction was bad enough.

And Ino knew this if her rapid paling figure said anything.

“Whatever!” Ino threw her hands up in the air and turned sharply on her heel, “Just don’t get in my way, Billboard Brow!”

With that Ino left, and all the bystanders turned back to what they were doing.

“Come on.” Sasuke took Sakura by the hand and started leading her away. Sakura nodded, staying close to the side of her raven-haired companion.

It could have gone worse, Sakura thinks.

(Then again, it could have gone better.)

Sasuke’s ninth birthday comes and goes. Sakura doesn’t get him a gift but she does bake him a cake. Sasuke understands and doesn’t bake her a cake for the same reason she doesn’t get him a gift. They both skip school and do nothing but enjoy the moment.

(The last time Sakura had gotten someone a gift he died. Shisui, who she loved more than anyone in the world- )

(Sasuke had baked his kaa-san a cake on her birthday before she died. She had smiled brighter than Sasuke had ever seen her smile, and the image of her dead body fights to overtake that overwhelmingly bright one every single time.)

Sasuke continues to be plagued by Naruto’s ever-increasing need to challenge him and his steady increase in fangirls. Ino has mostly left Sakura alone, though she continues to give Sakura the stink eye.

It’s better though, if only fractionally.

Life goes by. Sakura isn’t great at kunoichi lessons but she is in the top five, and she stays as the top kunoichi in her year. Sasuke and Sakura only grow better as they fight to overcome each other. They stay to themselves and nobody tries to change the status quo.

Life goes on.

Their fourth year passes.

Sakura turns ten and Sasuke gets her a necklace. Sakura wraps the chain around her small ankle three times and clasps it together. 

Sasuke turns ten and Sakura bakes him a cake made with bitter dark chocolate. Sasuke appreciates it.

Their fifth year passes.

Sakura and Sasuke do their normal birthday rituals. Sakura doesn’t hate birthdays that much anymore.

Sakura is twelve and Sasuke will have his twelfth birthday in July. They're at the end of their sixth year when they take the Academy graduation test.

They pass with flying colors.

(Shisui would have been proud.)

Chapter Text

It's so nice to write to you guys again.

I know this may seem strange considering I haven't updated this account in years, but I'm back, and will be rewriting my old works. I was going through some things when I first wrote these stories and was struggling to keep up after I lost my initial motivation. So I abandoned my account. Now, I'm back and ready to try again.

I hope you're just as excited as I am for the bright future ahead.

Much love,
Lillypaddle

Chapter Text

Chapter 1 of the rewrite is up. It's the first story in the series. Have fun with it, there's definitely more to come!