Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Isu was confused.

Ever since kindergarten, Khun and Bam were inseparable. Always joint at the hip, eating together at every opportunity, studying in the same place all the time, practically living in each other’s space. 

He was sure that if he asked anyone in their friend group if they’ve ever seen Bam – or Khun in that matter – alone without the other. They would just roll their eyes, probably look at him with an annoyed gaze and say, “As if that were possible.”

With that being said, he was bewildered with the sight in front of him.

A certain brown-haired boy, eating alone in the cafeteria, his belongings a forgotten mess next to him. Still, there was a backpack in the chair in front of him, probably placed in that position with an intent to save a seat for a certain blue-eyed man.

Now that would be normal, but Bam looked out of it, almost like a kicked puppy.

He got close enough to the table, finally seeing Bam.

And man, what a sight. 

He wasn’t even touching his food, eyes focused on the horizon as it would give him answers. Golden eyes that for the first time weren’t shining as bright. 

Where on earth was Khun? 

Deciding that he would take matters into his own hands, he took his auto-proclaimed title as group dad and approached Bam. Like a man on a mission, Shibisu reached out to Bam as if he was a wounded animal, slowly and with great care. 

“Bam?” he said slowly, looking at the golden-eye boy. 

Said friend wasn’t paying attention, playing with his food with a lost glance.  

Isu tried again. 

“Why are you alone?” 

Still no reaction. 

But Shibisu was a man with resolve! He could do this! So, Bam was out of it, what about it? And Khun was nowhere to be seen. 

Wait. 

Khun was nowhere to be seen. 

Where on Earth was Khun?

Maybe – hear him out – maybe , the bluenette’s disappearance had something to do with the fact that Bam was distracted. 

Hoping his theory was right, he asked, “Where’s Khun?”

And bingo.  

The mere mention of the name made Bam snap out of it. Which was great, you know, but now he looked at Shibisu like a kid who was just told that Santa wasn’t real. A glassy look clouded with uncertainty. 

He started to worry.  

“…Bam?” 

“He isn’t coming, Isu,” his voice sounded broken, eyes back at his food. 

The whole picture was unsettling. Bam, who was always a happy ball of sunshine, now looked at his plate as if it had wrong him somehow. 

His brain decided it was the best time to start functioning again. 

“Wait, what?”

Bam looked at him with exasperation, as if he had told him that two plus two equals four, but Shibisu would have answered with five. 

He gave Bam a confused look, silently asking what was happening.  

“He said he would come, but one hour has passed, and he isn’t here.” 

His friend sounded worried, honey eyes looking at his phone with a pleading look.  

Okay! If I’m going to help my son here, I need to act out.  

“Bam,” he said with a careful tone, “Can you give me more context please, don’t ramble all by yourself.” At this point, he was practically begging for information.  

“Khun.”

I mean, I already knew that, but okay. 

Bam looked hurt, and as much as he wanted to help him, Shibisu still needed some context, thank you very much. 

“Uhm… okay?” Bam rolled his eyes, taking him by surprise. Bam never did that, Khun had really messed things up.  

Still, concentrating on his phone, Bam finally gave him more information. “He said we’ll have lunch together since we haven’t really talked at all these last weeks.”

Okay, that was straight-up weird. Khun never broke a promise, at least not to Bam.  

“I’m sure he’s just busy, you know with all the council meetings, being seniors ourselves-” Damn, Isu needed to pick a side. He wanted to give Khun the benefit of the doubt. Maybe help him out a bit, so he didn’t lose his dignity while apologizing to Bam, like always... 

“This is the fourth time in two weeks,” Bam cut him out with a sharp tone, “Do you think Khun’s ignoring me?”

He almost laughed, he really wanted to. It took him all his self-control, and a reminder that Bam was sad, not to do it. Khun? Khun Aguero Agnis ignoring Bam? A meteorite will first have to fall for it to even be possible, but Bam needed his support. So, he calmed down for his friend’s sake. 

“Ignoring you?” he said with a careful tone, “Khun may be an asshole, but he would never do that to you.” Bam looked at him with some hope. He didn’t know why Bam would ever feel that way. 

The blue-eyed man was so in love with Bam that it wasn’t even funny anymore. A wave of concern finally hit him. He didn't have a clue about what was happening with the duo, but it didn’t seem right.

Them fighting was something that he never thought possible.  

So, he tried to sit on the chair near Bam, but seeing as it was reserved for Khun, he probably shouldn’t do that. Instead, he took the seat in front of him. 

“Do you…?” Damn, Shibisu he’s your friend, man up, “ Do you want to talk about it?” 

“No,” was the first answer, and it kinda hurt a little of Isu’s pride, but it was okay! 

Bam, for the first time in their conversation, looked at him, “Maybe.” 

Finally, with a resigned look, Bam said, “yes.”

He was glad that Bam decided to tell him. Now, Isu would do whatever was necessary to help his confused son. 

“Okay! Tell daddy Isu what’s happening,” he exclaimed in his best dad voice. 

Bam laughed, even if it was a humorless laugh it was enough to make him glad to finally have some sense of normality back. The laugh didn’t last long, but at least a little smile stayed. 

“It’s just, since last month, Khun’s been ignoring me. First, we don’t have lunch together every day, as we always do.” Noted, Isu could see that. 

“Then, he said he’s too busy to come by my place and study,” Bam remarked with a displeased tone, ”when we always study together.” 

Okay. That was new. 

He saw Khun studying with Rak a few days ago, but he passed it by, not aware of the situation. Damn, Khun was really avoiding Bam. 

“And now all he’s doing is dumping our plans for the last three days,” his friend practically shouted, “I don’t know what is happening anymore. Did I do something wrong? Rak says I have to talk to him, but he’s just ignoring me” He sounded defeated, probably because his best friend had been ignoring him all week. 

Wow , Isu thought, that was a lot of information for just one minute. His brain was still processing, but it was cut short when he heard the distinctive voice of the man in question. 

“Bam!” Khun was panting, probably from running all the way to the cafeteria.

Shibisu finally took a second to see him. Khun looked disheveled, his uniform completely out of place, his faultless hair a mess. His so-called ideal image wasn’t there anymore, instead it was replaced by a desperate boy.  

“Bam,” Khun said with a relieved sigh.“I’m so sorry, meeting run out later than expected, and then Ran just made a stupid decision, so we had to-"

The man was still trying to explain himself, gesticulating with his hands, in a fruitless attempt to say he was sorry. 

Isu peeked a glance at Bam, he saw hope and happiness materializing in his eyes. Only for it to be replaced by anger. Honey eyes burning with irritation.  

Oh. 

Oh no. 

Shibisu prepared for the storm, silently praying for Khun. 

Bam got up the table slowly, his food – and Isu – forgotten. 

“Why are you ignoring me?” 

Okay, Isu wasn’t ready for a direct hit.

Khun stopped mid-sentence, mouth still open, as if he still had more to say. Finally, he shut up, giving Bam an understanding look. 

Damn, he wanted some popcorn. His theory was proven right, it was a love quarrel. Except that it really wasn’t actually a love-love one, you know, because they’re still just friends.  

“What are you talking about?” Khun sighed in disbelief.  

Shibisu didn’t know where to hide, he wanted to see the drama, of course, but he feared for his life. 

“You know what I’m talking about,” oh boy Bam was mad, “You’ve been ignoring my calls, replying dryly-” He said while pointing his phone at Khun. 

Talking about Khun… he was dead silent. Mouth opening and shutting down in a fish-like motion, probably thinking about what to answer, trying to say something, Bam cut him again. 

“In our chat with Rak, you haven’t said a word! Even when Rak gave us that ridiculous idea of making a spicy banana salad.” 

Okay, this was escalating quickly. Even though the drama was entertaining, and he could have some pretty good blackmail material, Shibisu knew they needed some privacy.

“You know I’m not doing that,” Khun responded with a shivering tone.  

“Wh- What?! Of course, you are! Ask Rak if you-” If Bam’s reaction was any indicator of it, Shibisu needed to get the fuck out of it before Khun noticed him. 

“Uh… guys?” Khun and Bam turned their heads around to look at Shibisu. Apparently, Khun had just realized he wasn’t alone with Bam. A frivolous gaze was directed at him, blue eyes shining in irritation, but it was betrayed by flushed cheeks.  

“What are you doing here?”

Shit.

Isu tried, he really did, to answer Khun. His whole body was in a fight or flight mode, words wouldn’t come out of his mouth. 

Finally, he directed an apologizing gaze to Khun, who just shook his head, sparing his life. Thank god. His savior looked back at Bam, eyes becoming soft. And well, Isu would never think Khun was a softy, but damn.  

“Can we talk somewhere private?” Khun finally murmured. Hands fidgeting and eyes practically begging Bam. 

Oh my god, he’s so whipped.  

“Man, you already made a scene here, why don’t continue?” He muttered under his breath, hoping to keep it a secret. However, the other two had heard him. Bam chuckled, even though it was a little almost inaudible chuckle, it was enough to save his life. As the blue-haired man stopped looking at him with icy eyes. 

“I’m just saying…” 

Bam gave him a little smile, and as usual, Khun looked at the chestnut boy in wonder. His friend looked mesmerized by Bam’s smile. It was kind of sad, Khun always looking, and Bam always oblivious to it.

“Okay,” Bam murmured, “let’s go. I want to hear what you have to say." 

“Uh? Oh right we- uh- yeah go,” Khun finally shut up, nodding with a stern face. 

And just like that, they disappeared. Leaving Isu with more questions than before. 

Welp, what to do now? The pair had left him with all of Bam’s things. He’ll just wait like it's nothing. Right? 

He scrolled absently through social media, thinking about what he’ll ask once Khun is back. His phone told him it had already been five minutes, so they were supposed to return soon. He received a message from Rak, which was kind of weird?  

[Rak the tiny leader]

Turtle have you seen Black and Blue turtle?

Shibisu chuckled, of course Rak would be worried, they were his two best friends after all. 

[Dad]

Of course, cafeteria. Had a near-death experience from all the tension.  

After pressing send, he wasn’t surprised when Rak appeared at his line of sight, looking a bit intimidating as always. 

“Turtle! Where are Black and Blue turtle?”  Right, they had left like seven minutes ago, but he didn’t know where. Rak was still waiting for an answer, tapping his feet impatiently.

“Dunno, disappeared a while ago,” he commented offhandedly.

“These stupid turtles finally figuring things out,” Rak murmured with an annoyed tone.

Yeah, there was this whole thing with Khun ignoring Bam, Shibisu was still in the dark, but apparently, Rak wasn’t. He decided to prove his luck.

“You know what happened?” Rak gave him a pointed look, judging if he was worth it. 

“Blue turtle was being stupid,” he gave the other a curious look urging him to explain himself. “Two months or so ago, Blue turtle received a call. He hasn’t been himself since then.”

Oh?

That picked his interest.

“Do you know from who?”

“Of course, I’m the leader!” Rak practically shouted, “…and I interrogated him a week later. He mentioned It had something to do with Maria, you can imagine the rest.”

Yeah, he could. The Khun family was a sensitive topic in their group. He could guess that Khun was spacing out for something his family had said. It probably was a Bam related theme, that would explain why he was ignoring the chestnut boy.

Khun was probably trying to save Bam from his family.

“…Is this why Bam looked so hurt?”

Rak nodded sadly, “Yep, but Black turtle doesn’t know about it. He still wanted to give him space anyways before graduation comes.”

“But aren’t you three becoming roommates for college?”

Last he knew Bam, Rak, and Khun had rented a place for college years. After lots of fighting, they finally found a really good apartment.

“Well, that’s the plan, but Blue turtle is ignoring us, which is annoying. Especially for buying stuff for the apartment.” And now Shibisu was stuck between a rambling Rak. Great.

“It’s good those two are finally communicating. It was becoming crazy how much I had to do for them to have a chance to talk, I even had to suggest doing a spicy banana salad,” Rak gives him a displeased look, ”see? completely desperate.”

Wait.

Oh my god, even Rak was done.  

And that’s it, Shibisu lets out a laugh so loud that a few people turn back to see him with a questioning look. I swear to god these idiots. 

“You done?” Rak said with a poker face. 

Clearing some little tears, he nods, still laughing. They fall into a comfortable silence until Isu realizes it’s already been ten minutes. No signal of Bam or Khun. Deciding it was enough, he rises from the table. 

“Well, I’m leaving,” he makes a peace sign, “guess you’re going to take care of Bam’s things, right?” 

“Who do you take me for? You ridiculous turtle,” Rak hums loudly, Shibisu smiles while waving goodbye.  

When he finally got out of the cafeteria, he couldn’t help but think that it had been quite an afternoon. He just wanted his friends to resolve their issues and return to their oblivious-but-so-in-love phase.  

Nothing – and when he means nothing, he really means nothing – prepared Shibisu for what he would see once he got behind the cafeteria. 

Nothing. 

If anyone asks, he didn’t squeal, he didn’t make a sound...okay, maybe Isu made a surprised noise, but how could he not? 

Back in the alley, hiding from the noise in the cafeteria, were Bam and Khun. Staring at each other, maybe a few meters apart, wait, did Khun’s eyes looked red? 

In a blink of an eye, Bam threw himself into the arms of the blue-hair boy. The other answering by instinct, bringing him closer to his body. Just like that.  

Well, shit. 

Now he couldn’t unsee it.

He wasn’t even trying to find them, but now he wanted to punch himself.

So, in the metaphorical scenario in his head, he thought that if he found them, they would be fighting or some ridiculous shit as they’d always do. He never thought, even in his wildest dreams, that he would see them hugging. Okay, wait, while it was true that they were best friends, he had never seen them so touchy. Maybe some time ago?

But this was more than a mere hug. It was more like, well, more like Bam clinging to Khun while the other man was focused on stroking the brunet’s hair. While Bam hid his face in Khun’s neck, the other one was mumbling apologies, saying them slowly, like a prayer.

Without a second thought, he hid behind some plants. He would never forgive himself if he ruined their moment, god knows everyone in their group was waiting for this to finally happen.  

We’re just best friends, my ass . 

He took out his phone and started trying to take a good photo, just because he wanted to be able to blackmail Khun with it later on. 

Bam talked, still nuzzled on Khun’s neck, voice strong enough that Khun could hear him, and for Isu to catch up on some parts. 

“So, you’re not ignoring me?” Bam looked up slowly, disentangling himself from Khun just enough so he could talk more freely. “You really aren’t tired of me yet?” Khun looked down, surprise in his eyes.

“What are you saying, Bam?” Khun chuckled, and Isu swore he could feel the love on Khun’s tone. 

Ugh, they’re disgusting.  

The blue-eyed Khun cradled Bam’s face in his hands, with care, like it was a sacred thing, almost scared of breaking it. Then he lifted his hand just enough for them to be eye to eye. And with the softest tone of voice he ever heard Khun use, he said.   

“I would never get tired of you, love.”

Wait. What.

Wait a damn second. 

Something in his brain stopped working. Brain cells? Yeah, he didn’t know them.

Were they finally together? Was it really happening? Someone hold him because Shibisu is not sure if he’s going to faint now, or if it was just the surprise of hearing Khun refer to Bam as ‘Love.'

Yes, now he was even more confused. Someone, please, take him out of his misery. 

Last time he checked, they were still in their we’re-just-best-friends-even-though-we-want-to-be-more phase. When did it change? He needed to know, but right now wasn’t the time. They were obviously having a moment.

They were having a moment. Oh my god. 

Shibisu decided then that he would ask Khun later, and he wouldn’t take an excuse from his friend. And so, he left them. There was still a lot of homework to do. 

It’s hours later that he sends a message to Khun, asking when he finally had the guts to confess. Also wanting to know every detail, word by word, of how they become a pair officially. 

What he wasn’t ready for was the message he received from Khun immediately after he sent the text. 

[Khun, my love]

What are you talking about Isu?? Bam and I are just friends.

What kind of bullshit is this?   

Shibisu swears that he screamed so loud anyone two blocks away could hear him.

Chapter Text

Endorsi is no fool.

She had liked Bam since day one of her sophomore year at high school. The first time she saw him, even as he was some helpless boy only following Khun and Rak like a lost puppy, something inside made her follow him. Probably out of curiosity. She was captivated with that easy smile that she never got a chance to use as a child herself, but that he used as if no one had hurt him.  Now, time had flown, they were no longer little kids in high school, college was approaching, and the summer was slipping away faster than expected.

She thought she was doing fine, you know? They were friends, part of the same group, and, most importantly, he trusted her. There was no real problem in their relationship, except that well, there was no relationship. No matter how easily guys used to fall for her and her looks, she never got a chance to capture the interest of the one she wanted. No matter how gorgeous she was, Bam wasn’t interested. 

And it was all thanks to a certain blue-haired man. 

Khun Aguero Agnis.

Who was always around the gilt-eyed man. Endorsi swears that it seemed they had never been apart. She could try to search in her memories for a moment when they were not next to each other, and the result would be only a few, distant scenes.  Basically, she had never had any time alone with the boy with the golden eyes.

And it pissed her off.  

Sure, the two of them had had some kind of fall out on their relationship the last months of senior year, but that was water under the bridge. And now, they were disgustingly sweet. Always existing around the other, touching in some way. And the worst, looking at each other with a glance that said, ‘ I’m in love with you, please notice it,' but still too afraid to recognize the same look in the eyes of the other person. 

It appeared that their non-existent but very existent relationship was stronger than ever before. In all summer, she had never seen them alone, especially now that they lived together with Rak.

It was driving her crazy.

However, Endorsi decided to focus on the good things in life. Like the sun every morning, the way she no longer had homework, and the fact that this was the first time in months that she had been alone with Bam. All thanks to Mr. Perfect being in supermarket duty with Rak. So, there she was, in the library, studying when she could be on the beach.    

For the sake of romance, she tried to appear lost in the subject they were studying. Bam was a great tutor, regularly telling her what to do to learn faster and improve herself. It seemed like something taken out of a rom-com.

Everything was perfect and seemed like a great date – but it wasn’t, cause Bam didn’t even know it was a date – anyways, everything had been lovely.

The only trouble was that Bam was so distant. In every series or movie that she used to watch with Anak, when the main couple was studying, they would do it side by side. And while comparing math equations, they would discover their own emotional formulas, something cute would happen, and that’ll be the deciding point of their feelings. 

None of it was happening with Bam.

He was in front of her, focused on his English book. From time to time, he threw her some careful glances to see if she needed help with her biology text. They stayed like that for thirty minutes, Endorsi watching intently at Bam and Bam still focused on that damn book. That was their dynamic until his phone started to vibrate with notifications. She thought he would ignore it, just like he ignored her all afternoon, except he took the phone. The mere act of looking at that notification made his face change from a concentrated frown to a shiny smile in a matter of seconds.

Then Bam had the nerve to laugh. Well, to be honest, it picked her interest. What on earth could make Bam look so happy? While she moved in a way that could let her watch the screen, Bam realized. She gave him an apologetic smile, and he moved his head as if saying that it was okay. Finally, he showed her the phone. Bam was still laughing, a nice laugh, one that could make you smile with only hearing it. She finally saw what was making so much interruption in their afternoon, and okay, it was funny.

The photo showed a shopping cart filled to the brim with bananas, an angry Khun at the side of the screen. Accompanied with the captions ‘See this is what happens when you don’t come with us, I’m going to commit murder.’ Endorsi chuckled a bit.

“There’s more,” Bam said between giggles. Endorsi, even though, was concentrated in the way his eyes shined, still urged him to let her see the rest. 

The next photo showed Rak lying like a starfish, defeated on the floor. The shopping cart no longer had any trace of bananas. The captions read, ‘ He’s moping because I said no to buying Banana ice cream, sore loser’. 

Apparently, there were more photos, seeing as Bam passed through the next one. This time it revealed Rak, now inside of the shopping cart, clutching a flavored banana cereal box and looking pissed at the camera. The message accompanying this time was, ‘ ISTG, Bam control him.’ 

“Is this why you’re here with me now? As to not be arrested for covering a crime?” Her comment made Bam wheezed as he no longer could contain his laugh. Satisfied with the reaction,  she gave herself a pat in the back. Endorsi looked at him with a smile, admiring the way his eyes stared lovingly at his phone. Wishing silently that golden eyes could look at her in the same way. 

With their textbooks forgotten on the table, she guessed it was time to go home. After all, nothing happened, Endorsi was kind of disappointed. But before she could say her goodbyes, Bam’s phone decided it was the best time to vibrate again. As a silent agreement, Bam showed her the new photo.

This time it showed a street with Rak in front carrying a lot of bags with different things poking out. Endorsi swears there was one bag dedicated to hair products only. The captions made her raise an eyebrow. “ Going home, miss you. Care if I go to the library and bother you and Endorsi for a bit?”

Bam peered at her with his signature puppy gaze, and goddammit Endorsi knew she couldn’t say no to what he was going to say next. At least he had the decency to look ashamed.

“Miss Endorsi, do you care if Khun comes and accompanies us a bit?”

Yes. Yes, I care. 

But she knew she couldn't say anything. Her date was again ruined by that scheming little shit, and she couldn't complain because it wasn't even a date. 

“Yeah. Yeah, of course, Bam.” 

He smiled at her while raising his phone. Then proceed to look at his phone with a clueless look, for then stare back at her. She returned the stare, wondering what was happening inside his head.

“Can we take a photo? It’s for Khun.”

Shit. 

What else did Khun want to take away from her? 

“Okay, just, let me get close to you.” 

Well, this was an advance; she was close to Bam now, and they would take a selfie. Except that said photo was for Khun, and not for her. Bitterness manifested in her, and while they were taking the photo, she couldn't help but think of millions of ways she could ruin Khun's precious hair. 

They finally took the photo, and Bam was now too enraptured with his phone typing a response to look at her retreating form.

And Endorsi was no fool.

She knew something was up with their relationship. For god sake, any idiot with two eyes could see that. The way these two complemented each other was scary. 

She knew she hadn’t had a chance since day one, but something made her pursue that silly crush. Something in her heart told her it was okay to follow that feeling, that things could work out. But she knew the truth. 

Endorsi knew she didn’t love Bam as much as Khun did. What to her was just a crush, to the other boy was love in its more painful form, and she was okay with that. Still, she wanted to be admired the same way Khun was, with devotion and care.

Bam was again lost in his English book, and she decided to stay for a few more minutes, returning her gaze at her work. Ten minutes in, and someone approached them, and by someone, she meant the arrogant son of Khun. He entered the library, as usual, looking good and with superiority airs. Endorsi rolled her eyes, knowing well that Bam could shatter those airs in a matter of seconds.

“Bam.”

She hated the way that said man looked up immediately, eyes gleaming with joy. Bam didn't notice the little things he does for Khun, but Endorsi did. To her eyes, it didn't escape the way Bam moved unconsciously, making space for the blue-eyed man, like a silent agreement to be always together.  

“Endorsi,” he greeted her with his signature smirk. A smirk she wanted to erase up, preferably with a punch in the face. 

She nodded with irritability. Noticing how without hesitation Khun was seated next to Bam, they looked good together. 

“How was shopping with Rak?” the brown-haired man asked with a mischievous look. 

Khun growled, banging his head loudly on the table.

“Never…” He was still banging his head, “Ever…” he moved his head at the side, so he could see Bam. “Ever, let me alone with that crocodile in the store. He´s a baby.”

Bam laughed, and Endorsi joined him with a humorless chuckle. Rak could be difficult sometimes, he was so stubborn, but the worse was always taken by Khun. Hence the supermarket disaster of minutes ago.

“Oh, come one, it probably wasn’t that bad,” Bam said, gaining an exasperated look from Khun. One look that was completely melted out by warm golden eyes. 

“It wasn’t- It wasn’t that bad? Did you not see the way that sneaky bastard put bananas or something banana related in the cart?" Khun whispered angry, as if he didn't, he would start screaming, which was probably right. "It happened every time I’d turned around because he thought I wouldn’t notice it.” 

Bam burst out laughing, gaining some strange looks and a call from the librarian. Khun looked ready to fight, and Endorsi was having a blast seeing him in that state, the perfect little Khun being mad with one of his best friends. He looked like a child. 

 “I’ve sent you enough photos all day for you to see how painful it was,” Khun murmured, defeated on the table. 

“Yes, but you know how much Rak loves it. And since It’s our apartment, we should let him have this.” Bam whispered back. 

Khun gave Bam an 'are you kidding?' look. It was as if they were in their own little world, forgetting about their surroundings...and her. 

Finally, Khun seemed to remember she was there, with a snarky look, he talked.  

“Did you forget last week? You let him take dinner duties, and what did he do?”

Oh? Now she was interested. Khun was probably going to involve her in his new little scheme, and it seemed worthy enough to help him. 

“Bam,” Khun said softly. 

The man in question was avoiding their eyes.  He looked like a child being lectured by his parents, and it was so funny. Considering that two people were still looking at him, defeatedly, he answered in the lowest tone.

“...What?”

Khun smiled with mirth. 

“What did Rak do when he was on dinner duty?”

Endorsi was more interested now, as she saw the tips of Bam ears lit up with blush. 

“You already know.” 

Oh, Bam was playing the spoiled child card.

Khun looked at her with mischief in his eyes, telling her it was her time on the scene. They may get along like cats and dogs, but they made a good team when wanted. 

“Endorsi wants to know too, right Endorsi?” he emphasized her name, and Endorsi was all in, as it was the same tone he used when he was scheming. 

“Yes, I want to know.”

Bam looked at her in betrayal.

He looked between her and Khun, understanding he couldn't escape, he surrendered. 

“You’re being silly,” Bam said in a last attempt to escape. 

Khun gave him an amused look. 

“I’m being completely serious.” He said, but the mockery in his voice was unique. Defeated, Bam just spoke.

"I let him bake a banana cake, but in his defense-"

"In his defense?" Khun said back with an annoyed tone. 

"-In his defense,” Bam continued with a smile, ignoring Khun, “it wasn't that bad." 

Even if Endorsi wanted to believe Bam, the truth is that she already knew the story. Khun had been mad that day, ranting in their chats, saying his roommates were the worst of the worst. 

"It wasn't even that bad because he burned it," he said in a matter of fact tone, " And who had to clean the mess? yeah, that's right, me." 

Yes, she vividly remembers an angry Khun saying it was time to sell off two roommates for the price of one. 

“I don’t know why you’re talking like that," Bam pointed out, reaching out to move Khun's bangs out of his face. "When you are a disaster in the kitchen.”

And with Bam's hand in his cheek, smug Khun ended, and flustered Khun began.  

“I-  that’s not-" Khun was a mess trying to find the correct words.  

He directed Bam a pleading look, as if asking for forgiveness, but Bam was already planning revenge on him.

“Endorsi, do you wanna know how actually terrible Khun is in the kitchen?”

Khun looked at her as if saying, ‘ Don’t do it, what about our alliance? ’ Grinning, she looked back, her eyes screaming, ‘I do what I want’ . While Khun was lamenting himself, looking at the table as if he could escape, she leaned forward. 

Her eyes glowing with amusement, ready to tear her prey apart, she pronounced, "Do tell." 

As soon as the words left her mouth, Bam grinned at her. He straightened up,  ready to tell a story no one had heard before.

“He tried to do instant soup but forgot the water was boiling and that it only takes minutes to do it.” Khun made a sound that looked a lot like an embarrassed one, hiding in his hands and mumbling curses under his breath. 

Bam looked at him fondly but continued ruining his reputation with a smile, “Guess what? He ended up evaporating all the water and burning the noodles. Rak and I passed an hour trying to stop the fire alarm while Khun hid in my room.”

She cracked; it was hilarious. Khun Aguero Agnis being perfect at everything, couldn’t do a simple instant-soup? He directs her a murderous glance, only making her laugh harder. If he wanted to look threatening, then he needed to stop looking like a tomato. 

At some point, he decided to hide in Bam’s right arm as if it were the best defense; it didn’t seem to help either. She wasn’t happy about that, but she would let it slide, that story would serve as perfect blackmail material.

Then her brain reminded her of something that Bam said. She repeated the last part of the story. It made her stop laughing. Instead, she looked at them with a questioning glance. 

“Why would he hide in your room and not his?”

That question stopped both men. Bam, who was laughing until now, looked like a deer caught in headlights, looking anywhere but Khun.  And Khun? He wasn’t any better, hiding more into Bam, thinking it could serve him as a protection wall. 

Then, he finally stopped hiding in poor Bam's arm, and while he corrected his posture, Khun stared at her with an expressionless look. He was ready to fight, Endorsi was having too much fun.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” calculated, meticulous words got out of Khun’s mouth. He was trying to win, but she was a force to be reckoned on.

“I’m not stupid, I have two ears, I know what I heard.”

Now, she was the one smirking. She peaked a glance at Bam, who was moving his head as if he was following a tennis match. 

“I was there because the smoke got into my room,” he said with a monotone tone. 

Yeah, sure. She knew him better.  

“Liar.”

Bam stared at her with a helpless expression, silently asking her to stop this match. And she would have listened to him, sadly, she was having a marvelous time. 

“Endorsi, why are you here if you don’t have to study?” Khun asked. 

And okay, that was a direct hit, and she kind of deserved it. Nonetheless she was still going. Endorsi Jahad never gives up.  

“Khun, why are you here if you can be at your apartment?” She smiled innocently; he looked at her indignantly. Then he redirected his eyes to Bam as if saying ' he let me come .'

They had an intense gaze battle until Bam sensing the growing tension, tried to calm the waters. Oh, the poor soul, he only made it worse. 

“Guys, chill,” Bam said, testing the waters. Khun snapped his head to look at him. Fake betrayal in his eyes. 

“I’m calm Bam," Khun responded with a polite wicked smile, "she’s the one who’s being a complete nuisance.”

Smirking her way on, her lips let out the words she knew would make him have a pleasant reaction.  

With mockery, she talked. “Oh, come on, don’t be shy, Aguero.”

“The fuck did you just call me?” He tried to get up, but Bam stopped him mid-action, one arm wrapping around Khun's waist. They exchange looks, again in their own little world, as if communicating. Then Khun sat down, taking the English book away from Bam, who made a little noise but resigned to it. Seaming as he wouldn’t talk nor share the book, Bam got up.

“I’m going to- I’m going to go and search for a new book. Be right back.” And just like that, Bam escaped the wrath of his best friend. 

While looking at Bam's retreating form, and after seeing their little interactions. Endorsi decided to change plans and put some sense on the blue-haired boy. Endorsi's way is it. 

Staring at him, she looked at how he was passing through the pages. His mouth in a frown, his hands with a little tick. A mad aura still covering him. She almost felt bad, knowing how much he used to hate that name. With a little bit of regret, Endorsi decided she would beat some sense into him.

“Be careful, your eyes tell too much," she remarked nonchalantly, "Not that I can tell, but you know who can.” 

Blue eyes looked at her with something akin to careful. 

“Oh?" Khun smirked, "The princess who can’t control her temper is going to tell me what to do? Don’t bother I know what I’m doing,” icy words left his mouth.  

“Sure, you know what you're doing," she rolled her eyes, "So you know your friendship is anything but platonic at this point.”  

Bingo. 

She had hit a bullseye. 

Khun was looking at the book so hard as if he could make holes in it. She knew that beating some sense into him was the right thing to do; her feelings didn't matter in this. She was also tired of the way Khun and Bam interacted with each other. They were such pinning idiots. 

All summer, in group outings, they would always share food. Sometimes they went as far as to order their food together. Every time Khun was in driver duty, Bam would always take the co-pilot seat. They thought they were being sneaky, but anyone on the passenger seat, and two eyes, could see the way their hands brushed, and their faces blushed.

“Now you’re being silly," he proclaimed, "Bam feels nothing for me except friendship. We are best friends, Endorsi, it’s not so difficult.”

Not so difficult? 

Endorsi thought she was going to die of diabetes every time they would just look at each other. She had heard the same thing from their friends, they were tired of them being all lovely and sweet but never acting on their feelings. Shibisu had said they were a lost cause, Rak told them to give them time, Anak was starting the idea of placing bets. It was a mess, and all thanks to Khun and Bam deciding to put a blind eye on their feelings. But enough was enough. 

“Oh, is this what you call being in love with each other for years now? Best friends?” She replied bitterly. 

Khun choked on air. He closed the book soundly.

“I don’t know why you’re doing this, as far as I know, you have feelings for him.”

Well, yes, she had feelings, but if she was being honest, the flame of them was extinguishing slowly. She didn't even notice when it stopped being such an important part of her. The wildfire wasn't there anymore, instead, a calm flame remained. 

Now she only liked the idea of Bam and a relationship. She didn’t like him, she liked the idea of being cherished. She liked the idea of someone loving her, not for her looks but for her personality. Endorsi had found that first in Bam, maybe that was why she couldn’t let go. 

It was childish, she knew it. Khun loved Bam for everything the boy had. Even if they had different opinions, he would still love him and found a way for them to be on an agreement. Not like her, that only loved the idea of having someone who would always give her the reason. They were different, and she understood that.

“And as far as I know, you’re completely in love with him. Don’t be stupid, Khun.” 

She meant every word, and it had the desired effect. Khun looked down as if the ground would tell him the best secret. Playing with his hands, it seemed as if he wanted to say something but couldn’t decide on what. 

“It’s not that easy.” He finally mumbled. She rolled her eyes.

 “Yeah, sure, it's not that easy," she mimicked him. "Khun, he looks at you the way I always wanted someone to look at me.” Hazel eyes search for indigo. Endorsi hoped her eyes were expressing the hurt she felt. Sensing Bam approaching, she decided to end the conversation. 

“I’m just saying it’s time to man up. We’re not kids anymore, you should act on your emotions," she reprimanded him. "You’re too calculating, at least for the first time, do something you want to do.” 

Khun wanted to respond, but then again, their time was cut short by Bam. It was time to say goodbye, to Bam, to Khun, to her feelings. Apparently, it was time to say goodbye to a lot of things. 

“I guess it's my time to go," she said while gathering her things. "Goodbye, Bam.” The words were accompanied by a sad tone, and she hoped her face wasn't showing her feelings. 

Bam looked at her with curious eyes. She shook her head, silently asking for him to ask no questions.

Before leaving, she directed a determined glance at the other man, “think about what I just said.”

He looked at her annoyed, she smiled like a cheshire cat. 

When she left the library, the air was purer as if something that wouldn’t let her breathe had finally left her body. The feelings that had her chained to an ideal were no longer there, she was free. 

Endorsi is no fool, she knows how to pick her battles, she knows she never had a chance. Now she’s decided to let go that silly crush and help those idiots out. 

Chapter Text

Probably drinking after finals was a bad idea. 

But who would stop them? Shibisu? 

These past weeks had been filled with essays, exams, and group projects. Everyone was tired. Bam took naps in the cafeteria instead of eating. Khun didn't know what sleep was anymore. Endorsi decided that she would only cry ten minutes per day. In conclusion, their group was a whole ass mess. 

So, it was natural for the group to find themselves in Rak-Khun-Bam's apartment. Eating away the worries, playing some games, everything to take out the stress. They deserved it.  

Who was he kidding?

It had been a bad idea.

It started as an innocent plan. 

Hatz likes to think that way. He believes that they had organized an ordinary game night. Maybe watch some films, play Mario kart, Clue, or maybe some scrabble. (Monopoly was banned because having Khun and Endorsi fighting over fake money was enough for a lifetime, and Hatz didn't want to suppress Endorsi for trying to kill Khun, again)

Now everything was chaos. 

Rak and Khun were in the kitchen shouting something about cookies; he could hear Bam in the distance trying to calm them. Anak and Endorsi were wrestling on the rug, trying to decide a movie to watch. Shibisu was in front of the girls, trying to stop them from breaking something and get a death sentence from the owners. Lauroe was sleeping on the couch, unaware of the noise surrounding him. 

Yes, this was normal. 

Shaking his head - and with none desire to be involved with the chaos in the living room- he made his way into the kitchen, where Rak and Khun were fighting. At least there, the picture was funnier than Endorsi trying to kick Anak. 

In the kitchen table, Khun was trying to stop Rak from eating the cookie dough, trying to hit him with a wooden spoon. Rak, on the other hand, tried to avoid the scoop, asking Bam for help. And Bam? The poor soul was trying to stop them with a little smile. 

To make his presence known, he decided to say a fact. 

"Endorsi and Anak will probably destroy your living room in five minutes," he said, attracting Bam's attention, "why are you still here?"

“Oh, Hatz!” 

Bam probably didn’t mean it, but he distracted Rak, who stopped in his tracks to look at him and consequently got hit by the wooden spoon Khun was aiming at him. 

“You stupid turtle!” Rak started to scream while trying to get a handle on Khun’s hair. 

“You stupid alligator!” Khun retorted with a complacent smile, successfully avoiding Rak’s intents. 

“Why are you still in the kitchen?” he asked again, “You do know Anak is seconds away to break your expensive jar, right?”

They looked at him with different expressions. Khun sighed, defeated, cookie dough forgotten on the table. Bam looked like a happy puppy, laughing a with glee, don't caring about the fucking expensive jar. Rak didn't bat an eye, instead, he took advantage of a distracted Khun and started eating the chocolate chips. 

“ Well, it's our kitchen.” Said Bam in a matter-of-fact tone. But Khun directed him a funny look as if saying, 'Sure, but all our friends are crazy, and the kitchen is always a great place to hide.'

“Bam decided it was a good idea to make cookies,” Khun added as he pointed to Bam with a sly smile, gaining a reproachful look from the brunet. 

Now that Hatz wasn't dying because of his math final, he could finally appreciate his friend. Khun looked tired, huge eye bags adorning his face, his hair falling off the ponytail in a complete mess. The only thing clashing his tired look was the flour covering all his face and parts of his hair.  Bam didn't look any better as he also had large eyebags. However, he had flour all over his clothes. Damn, even tired, they still matched. 

"It's because your cookies are the best, Khun," the chestnut boy looked up in search of indigo eyes. 

Oh, come on, right in front of him? 

Hatz wanted to throw up from the way sweet honey eyes screamed silently with adoration for the blue-eyed boy. 

Hatz was no idiot - well, he could be one sometimes- but in the matter of his friends' feelings, he was not. Please, he knew them since first grade, even at such a little age, they were disgustingly sweet. Hatz knew from the start that there was more than friendship in their relationship. 

But there was a problem. There was always a problem with those two. 

They were so oblivious. Even now, Bam was clearly complimenting – read: flirting– Khun, but the only thing the other man ever did was blush. Come on, Khun, step on your game. Rak decided to interrupt their little moment. He probably was just as done as him.

“Your cookies are never enough turtle. You do a little amount, and then give them all to Black turtle while everyone is starving,” Rak mumbled while stuffing himself with the chocolate chips. “This isn’t some third world country-” 

“Well, it wouldn’t be a small amount if you stopped eating all the dough," Khun said, hitting Rak with a spoon again, "you stupid croc.” Seeing as Rak was not letting the chips go, the blue-haired man had to take out another box from the fridge, shaking his head and restarting his baking process.

Bam looked apologetic at him, "Hatz you probably should go with the others; this is going to take a while." 

He understood. Never once had Khun finished his cookies in time. While retreating to the living room, he heard Khun shout.

 "Tell the other idiots they can order pizza!”

Once he was with the other idiots again. He decided to help Shibisu, who was shouting, trying to get Anak out of Endorsi's throat. "Hatz! Help your father out!" 

“Don’t be stupid, you're not my father," he said while he got a hold into Anak's neck, finally separating the two girls. "I’m older than you.” Shibisu gave him a grateful look. 

As he was holding her, Anak screamed empty threats to Endorsi. Who was shouting how unfair it was that nobody wanted to watch Cinderella with her.

There was only one option to appease the girls. He had to make them buy whatever, in this case, food. 

“Guys, Khun said we should order pizza."

As every eye on the room was directed at him, suspicious glances plague his friends' eyes, and he understood. No broke college student would want to buy pizza, with this economy? Yeah, no.

”He’s paying,” as soon as the words left his mouth, Endorsi and Anak became best friends again. 

As a unanimous vote, they decided to order the pizzas with sodas. However, Shibisu wanted some alcohol just for the sake of ending a semester. Terrible idea, really.

And they really said, why not? 

He wants to kick himself for not seeing the disaster that was coming at the time. He was supposed to be the brain cell. 

As they finished ordering, more noises were heard from the kitchen. Apparently, the trio was having fun, or so it seemed. Rak stomped out of the room and into the bathroom. Their peace was ruined by his loud voice. 

“Blue turtle got hurt! Blue turtle got hurt!” 

The group shared an alarmed look, running into the kitchen. Shibisu was in full-blown panic, shouting that they should call an ambulance, of course, everyone shouted no. 

When they finally entered the kitchen, they found a shouting Khun ready to kill Rak. And a Bam surrounding him with panic on his face. They couldn’t see blood or anything that would explain why Khun was cursing Rak. 

Endorsi took the matter in her own hands, seeing as nobody said a word, “Wh-What the hell happened here?!” 

“They were fighting, and Rak accidentally hit a knife that was resting on the table and cut Khun’s hand!” 

“Why the hell was there a knife on the table if you were doing cookies?!” Shibisu exclaimed, still in dad mode.  

“We used it to open a can! We don’t have a can opener, we’re broke!” Bam responded, voice with layers of panic. Seeing them like this was fun, though Khun didn’t appear to be experiencing much joy. “And then while Khun rested his hand, he put some salt in the injury…” 

Bam's last declaration let the group stunned, why- 

“Why the hell did you put salt on the injury?!” Anak shouted the real question. 

“Khun got confused, and instead of sugar, he used salt!" Bam was still on Khun's personal space, and Hatz just realized that they were holding hands. Well, it was mostly Bam holding Khun's injured hand. Where he could finally see a cut.

Oh, that explained the shouting. 

Endorsi exploded in laughter, and Shibisu took his phone out with the only intent to collect blackmail.  

“Khun? Hi Khun! Would you be so kind and tell us how you confused the salt and sugar?” Shibisu said with a merry tone, putting his phone in front of Khun’s face, getting icy eyes in return. 

Bam, always at Khun side, watched with a disappointed frown. 

“Go to hell, Isu,” Khun groaned, and the pain in his voice was evident. That only made it funnier.  

Rak re-entered the kitchen with a first aid kit, shouting for everyone to get out. At least his voice made Khun snap out of it, returning to his normal self to yell at his friend. 

“You too fucking alligator! Don’t come near me if you want to keep breathing!” Khun stared angrily at Rak while Bam just sighed, shaking his head; he finally left Khun's side to take the kit from Rak’s hands. 

“Everyone, please, get out, I’m going to take care of this, just wait for the pizza.” Bam practically shoved them outside the kitchen while talking.

Back in the living room and knowing there was nothing interesting to do, they decided to do the most logical thing, gossip about Khun and Bam.  

“I swear I’m going to die if they keep looking at each other in that way,” Shibisu said, showing them his KhunBam gallery. “And these were taken when they were just looking from afar, they’re worst in person.”

Endorsi, with a deadpan look, added, “It’s disgusting, did you see how they are on campus?” 

And yes, Hatz remembered how they were in college. Always waiting for the other, memorizing their schedules just so they can have lunch together. Bam sometimes carrying Khun’s books, Khun buying them coffee every day. 

Yes, they were disgusting. 

“Do you remember last summer?" Anak joined the other two, "they practically held hands everywhere.”  

“Why are they so stupid?” whined Shibisu. 

“Ten bucks that they're finally going to resolve the tension by New Year's day.” Said Anak 

“No, they’re idiots," Endorsi talked with a calculated look, "I’m gonna say next summer.” 

“No, the turtles are stupid. Probably in the next ten years, they will finally accept their damn feelings.”

Then Isu screamed, getting the attention of everyone in the room. He looked at them with a stunned expression, eyes open like he just had a revelation. “Okay but imagine, what if they’re already dating?”

Everyone went silent. The only thing that could be heard was Lauroe’s snoring sounds.

Endorsi, because it was always her, was the first one to talk. 

 “Don’t be stupid Isu, if they were, we would have noticed.” 

True. 

But he couldn't be completely sure about it. 

Khun was a secretive person, and Bam would always respect his choice to hide whatever relationship they had. 

Them hiding a relationship could be true; all pieces match. 

“Wait… would we really?” He said in an unsure tone. 

His friends looked at him. 

And then, all hell broke loose. 

Endorsi, talking with Anak about the days they would run into Bam and Khun doing supermarket duties. Shibisu, frantically revising his Bam-Khun folder, looking at some kind of proof. Rak dumbfounded on the floor. Hatz was doing fine; he was the only one using the collective brain cell, thank you very much.

“Oh my God! Oh my God!" Shibisu screamed in a frantic tone, "they’re alone in the kitchen! What if they’re doing the unthinkable? You know-!” And he proceeded to do kissing sounds.  

“We need to check,” shouted Endorsi. 

“But we need someone who can actually make themselves invisible.”

 And everyone looked at him. Oh no, he wouldn't no- 

“-I’m not going.” He wouldn’t sneak into the kitchen, at least not alone, “If I’m going, y'all come with me.”

Endorsi and Shibisu shared a look, and that was enough for creating a plan. 

“Wait, that's actually a good idea!” squealed Endorsi. 

"Khun can't kill us all," triumphantly murmured Shibisu. 

Then in a clean motion, all the group went - run- to the kitchen door. 

And there they were, trying to hear some noise, any indication that in the kitchen there wasn’t a healing happening by, but kisses. 

"Khun can't kill us all," Shibisu was still chanting that phrase as if it was a mantra. 

"But Bam can so shut the fuck up,” Endorsi hissed while trying to get a better position to hear. 

Anak was trying to reach the door, but the first two didn’t let her. Poor girl.  

“Move hag, I want to hear better.” 

“Wait, don’t move too much,” Shibisu whispered.  

At this point-

“Guys," he started slowly, "that’s a lot of weight for the door.” 

He prayed for his soul, knowing his friends, if they found them at the kitchen trying to hear their conversation, they would be dead.  

“Wait, don’t-”

And it happened. 

The door opened thanks to the excess of weight, making them fall...and interrupting Bam and Khun. Hatz only then decided to look if he was going to die, he would do it knowing their friends were together.

And-

Fuck.

Bam and Khun were really close, no but, really close. 

Khun sat at the countertop, and Bam, towering over him. Band-aids and alcohol were forgotten on the table. Bam looked at Khun as if wanting to eat him, and Hatz probably should add that Khun’s injured hand was being kissed by Bam. The pair looked at them with blushing cheeks and eyes wide-open. 

It can’t be fucking true. 

Their friends wouldn’t hide a relationship, right?  

“Oh my god, we are really dead now, aren't we?" 

Shibisu broke the silence, and apparently, that was all it took to get the pair moving. Bam let go of Khun’s hand fast as if it was burning him, while also putting a two-meter separation. Khun, on the other hand, jumped off the countertop, looking at them deadly. 

And then, the universe answered his prayers, making the doorbell rang. 

“Oh! Pizza's here... Khun, my lo- son, can you give me your credit card?” Shibisu didn’t have  common sense, but considering Khun was a blushing mess, he just threw his card into Shibisu’s face. 

“Get out. Now.” 

As fast as he could, he stomped out of the kitchen, but the damage was already done. Strange noises were heard from the kitchen, probably Bam and Khun talking, and Hatz wanted to kill himself. 

Shibisu took care of the pizza, and when the pair returned from the kitchen, no one said a word about what just happened.  

Bam and Khun were on the couch. Unlike other times, when they would be practically glued to each other, the two were at complete opposites sides of the sofa, using Lauroe as a separator. 

Now, he knew drinking after finals was a bad idea, but it hadn't been that bad. 

He talked too fast.  

It all went downhill when Endorsi started the freaking drinking game. Of course, it was the drinking game. Then Khun offered everyone to sleep in their apartment, and it was settled, they would kill their livers. It looked like a good idea.  

Who was he kidding, it had been a bad idea.

“Where are the lemons?” shouted a very drunk Anak as she prepared the bottle of tequila. 

“Second ledge to the left.” Bam absentminded said, eyes focused on Khun. 

“ And the salt?” Anak said with a suggestive tone.  

“Where the fuck do you think it is? Didn’t you see it when you entered the kitchen, lizard?” And there he was, angry drunk Khun.  

“Chill, it isn’t as we have seen something you guys wanted to cover up, is it? Or do you have something to tell us?” 

That made Khun shut  up, mortified.  

As the implements for taking the tequila were laid down on the table, Endorsi smirked.  

“Hey, Khun?”

Said person looked at her warningly, "What?” 

“Do you want to compete with me? Whoever drinks five shots first wins. If you win, we’ll let you order us for a whole month.” 

“And if you win?” 

“You have to tell us what the hell happened in the kitchen.” 

“You’re on.”  

“Khun…” Bam tried to stop him, but it was already too late, Khun was drunk and determined. They prepared the shots. Everything was ready.  

He silently cheered for Endorsi. 

And soon he found himself giving a pep talk to Endorsi. 

“You just have to drown it.”  

“Think it's water!”  

“Listen, hag, be sure you take all the lemon juice. If not, you’re going to suffer.”  

When he raised his eyes to look at the trio, well, they were also a mess. Rak was giving him a massage like some kind of trainer, and Bam was taking his hand and saying something his drunk ears couldn’t hear coherently.  

And then the game started. 

Khun drank every shot in 25 seconds. Endorsi was still trying with the third shot.

“Goddammit, hag! I told you to take all the lemon juice."

“I won losers," Khun wanted to look intimidating, but it was reduced as Bam was keeping him standing. 

Everything was fine for the first ten minutes, but, as Khun's endurance to alcohol was horrible, after fifteen minutes, he was completely drunk.

Apparently, the past distance with Bam was forgotten, seeing as he was now in Bam’s lap, shouting something about rugs to Rak. Bam was blushing, but he never made a move to get out of that problem. Instead, he was surrounding Khun's waist so that the other didn't fall out due to some sudden movement. While his sober brain would use that as an indicator that they were closer than normal friends, his drunk brain just deemed that as unimportant. 

Everyone was shouting, Anak and Endorsi discussing movies, Shibisu crying to Lauroe and Lauroe crying because he couldn’t sleep. Rak, eating bananas as a mad man. The only one who hadn't drunk that much was Bam. 

“Bam," a very drunk Khun started to say, "listen to me,” he was so close to Bam’s face, “I love you.”

Everything stopped.  

Everyone looked at the scene. Endorsi was opening and closing her mouth like a fish, Anak was gasping. Shibisu silently took out his phone again. Rak was choking on a banana. Even Lauroe stopped crying.  

Bam just laughed it off. 

He just laughed it off. 

“I love you too Khun, you’re my best friend.”

You have to be kidding me- 

Everyone groaned at the way their friends were absolute morons. 

“No, no, listen I love you.”  Drunk Khun was trying to get to a point, but Bam was still laughing. 

Hatz wanted to shoot himself. 

“Okay! That's enough alcohol for everyone,” Bam announced from the couch, "Khun let's go, can you stand up?" he talked with a concerned look, "I’m taking you to your room.”  

Khun pouted. He fucking directed Bam a frown.   

“Why my room? Is it because they’re here?” Khun looked at them with an icy glare. “We can sneak up, you know. If that croc hasn’t found out, neither will them.”  

His drunk brain was still processing that. He turned around to see if his friends were having the same problems. Yep, he wasn’t the only one. 

“What?” Shibisu asked in disbelief, saying what everyone had in mind.  

“Oh, I don’t know what Khun is talking about, right Khun?” Bam was trying to not expose himself. However, he still had drunk Khun in his lap, so it didn't work.  

“What are you talking about? I know what I’m saying, my room is so cold, and yours is always warm.” 

“Khun," Bam softly said, moving some blue strands out of Khun's eyes, "you’re going to regret this tomorrow.”  

Then they started to talk in hushed voices, and his brain couldn’t register anything. But if any indication, his other friends panic showed that they had the same problem.  

“Guys," Anak spilled out, finally distracting the pair, "you’re finally dating, right?” 

Please let them say yes, please let them say yes, please-  

“What?! No! We are just friends; friends sometimes sleep beside each other.”

Oh, come on. 

“Not if it is you two,” Endorsi deadpanned, while Rak was trying to combine beer with a banana. 

“I swear we are just friends," Bam declared, eyeing with sad eyes at the man in his lap. 

“Bam," Oh? when did Khun's face land in Bam's neck, "let's ditch these idiots," his voice came out muffled. 

Bam sadly smiled, carrying a drunk Khun who was still buried in his neck.

“Goodnight guys, sleep well. If you need anything, just knock at my door.” Bam's voice became distant with every step he took.  

“I guess not too loud, so we don’t wake up Khun huh?” Lauroe muttered under his breath. 

But seeing as everything was dead silent, Bam could hear it clearly.  

“Well yes, now, goodnight.” This time Bam’s eyes weren’t as friendly-looking. 

As he disappeared, Hatz finally said. 

“50 bucks they confess in four years.” 

Everyone agreed while making their improvised beds. 

The next morning, Hatz woke up on the floor with a terrible backache and a horrible hangover, but hey, at least he wasn’t the only one. 

As Khun emerged from Bam’s room, nobody said a word.

Chapter Text

Ran was done. 

He had, of course he had, the luck of accompanying Bam and his brother on their weekly market duty. 

Now, he would usually be done because of how sweetly they would act in front of him, but not today. Today something was off. On a regular basis, the pair would orbit around each other, always touching in some way. Bam would make a joke, bumping his shoulder with Aguero’s in a way that poorly hid his flirting intentions.  And his brother? he was even worse, moving his hand closer to Bam’s, which always ended in a painful-to-watch slow dance, hands aiming to touch one another, skin trying to find skin. 

But not today. 

In a simple view, they were acting normal, walking at an ordinary distance, but Ran knew better; he was, after all, a Khun. They were slightly separated. Aguero, maintaining his personal space for the first time in years, and Bam, looking back and forth between his brother’s eyes and the distance between their hands. He looked like a lost and confused puppy. 

So, this was new and concerning. 

This time they weren’t even talking. It seemed as if the two had gotten into a fight, and Ran was a mere spectator, with zero knowledge of the situation. In conclusion, he didn’t know what to do. The worst is that this back and forth had been going throughout all morning. When Ran arrived at his brother’s home earlier that day, they were already like this, avoiding each other in stupid ways. Well, maybe this had something to do with what had happened last night, as when he arrived, Ran was met with a hangover brother and a quiet Bam. The two seemed out of it, and the only person who was coherent enough to tell him what had happened was Rak, who was nowhere to be seen. 

And now, here they were, at the local supermarket, and Ran wanted to die. Bam and Aguero weren’t even talking; he felt as if he was a child in the middle of a divorce. 

Bam was asking for the shopping list, Aguero moving by instinct, passed the little paper, and -dear god- in that instant, their hands touched. Ran watched the scene display in slow-motion and analytical eyes. It was established-for anyone that knew them-that in this kind of situation, the contact would linger as much as it could. In that span, the pair would act all oblivious of their hands, silently trying to keep the proximity. 

But today? 

Today they removed their hands as if electricity had passed them, a tingling sensation that could be dangerous if they stayed more time in that position. It was as if they thought that if they let the contact linger one second more, it would end fatally for both. 

“Bam-” Aguero started to pronounce, tone almost pleading. 

“Oh! I almost forgot! I have to- I have to find bananas for Rak,” Bam said out of the blue, clearly trying to escape this moment. Man, one would've thought that after years of befriending a Khun, Bam would be better at lying, but no, he was still bad at it. He was too much of a golden heart to actually lie to his best friend. And it was a universal fact that the Khuns were splendid lie detectors. 

“Uhm, okay, find him his favorites,” his brother replied in a defeated tone. Blue eyes trying to find honey but failing in the intent. 

Bam smiled forcefully, gilded eyes evading indigo ones. Finally, he nodded, and just like that, he disappeared down the aisle. The whole exchange was filled with so much tension that, Ran swears, he could cut it up with a pair of scissors. And as someone who knows them all his life, he was getting tired.

In his opinion, they should just make out and problem solved. Their helpless pining was getting too out of handle. At some point, when he was still in middle school, he thought they were dating. However, A.A was a complete coward who didn't confess his feelings, making everyone go mad at his relationship status with a certain brown-haired man. 

It was getting tiring. 

Seeing as they were alone, Ran took the opportunity to have a lovely talk with his brother.  

"Okay," he sighs, the one doing this talk should be Hachuling, not him. "What happened between you and Bam?" 

His brother stops putting food in the cart, face in a scowl, one that resembles too much to the one Kiseia- and himself-has. Family things. 

"Why-" Aguero stops, trying to find the right words, "Why do you think something happened between us?" 

Oh, so he was trying to act all oblivious about it, huh?

"Really?" his voice came out in disbelief, he tried, he really did, to be the reasonable one, but time was running out, and his brother was stupid. 

They engaged in a glance battle, electric blue versus icy blue, Khun versus Khun. Aguero finally gave in. 

"Why are you even asking?" he talked in a deadened voice. 

"Because you're my brother and I care," he used his matter-of-fact tone to get his point across his stupid older brother head. "And because I always knew Bam was going to be my brother in law."  Ran added with a mischievous tone. 

"Ran..." Aguero said, threatening Ran, or at least, trying to do so.

"A.A..." he bit back, lips in the infamous Khun smirk. 

"It's just-" the older Khun stops in his tracks. 

So, Ran deciphers, it must be something important. Aguero being this way, stumbling over words, almost insecure on his own words, more careful than ever in his sentences. 

Something had happened between them, now, he didn't think it could be something big -a love confession, for example- but it was a big deal if it managed to make them act that way. 

No, he was missing something, a piece of primal information to this situation. His brother's cheeks were a slight shade of pink...perhaps? 

Could it really be? 

"Did you-" he couldn't believe the words that would come out of his mouth, it seemed like a distant dream, something that could never happen so soon, "Did you confess?" 

His older brother's face was now a lovely shade of red, almost as lovely as the apple stall a few meters back. It was easy to tie the dots; he really had confessed, but then, why are they acting like that? Shouldn't they stick by the standard of new couples and act all disgustingly sweet and completely obnoxious about other people? 

The only possible answer to this is that Bam had- but Bam would never- but then again- 

"Did Bam reject you?" the words came out icy. Ran was suddenly planning on texting Hachuling to prepare a plan to avenge their brother's honor. 

Aguero looked at him with a hard-to-read expression. He looked mad as if the thought of Bam rejecting him was an impossible idea. Okay, mister 'I've been helplessly in love with my best friend since I was ten.' 

“Why would I confess?” is the question that slides out of his brother's mouth. 

Was he being serious? 

And even if Ran didn't want to believe his brother could be that much of a knucklehead, it seems that he was being serious. Face red and biting his lips, Khun Aguero Agnis looked at him, expecting Ran to change the subject immediately. 

And Ran? Yeah, he was done. 

His brother was supposed to be one of the brightest minds in their family, and he had the decency of act all clueless? 

The audacity of this bitch. 

“Are you really-?”

He let out a frustrating sight. His brother was really dumb. He wanted to slap him, gosh, he would do it if they weren't in such a public space and if Ran wasn't afraid of what Bam would do to him if he found out his precious Aguero had been slapped. Ran had not endured years and years of his brother's helpless pining for this shit show. At this point, Ran really wanted to change brothers.

"Then," he remembered to breathe, so he didn't end up shouting in the middle of the aisle, " Why are you avoiding Bam?" There. He had asked patiently. 

"I'm not avoiding Bam," Aguero said, face hiding in his hands. 

Lying bitch. 

" You and I know you're lying, so tell me, what really happened?" his patience was running thin, but even if he wanted to kick his brother, the important thing was to help him. "Last time I visited, which was five days ago, you two were all lovey-dovey, what happened?" 

Knowing he wouldn't stop asking, Aguero looked at him dead in the eyes, debating over if telling him or not. 

"If I tell you, you better keep your mouth shut." 

He rolled his eyes, typical Aguero. 

"Yes, I'm going to keep my mouth shut, just like the time you cried thinking about how golden Bam's eyes were." 

His brother looked at him in betrayal. 

"You promised-" 

"I'm only rectifying my words, brother," he cut him with a smirk. 

"I hate you." The blue-eyed man said, but his flushed face didn't make his words have intensity. 

"Yeah, yeah, tell me," he said with a flat tone. 

"Last night," his brother started, and Ran took mental notes, "I told Bam I loved him." 

Holy fuck. 

"What-" he choked on air, so it was true, his brother had been rejected. 

"Let me finish," Aguero said, exasperated. Ran closed his mouth at lightning speed. 

"I was drunk, and I couldn't help it, not after what we had talked last week-" 

"-What did you talk about last week?" Ran was trying to keep up. The other blue-haired Khun looked at him in annoyance. 

"We talked about some stuff, not really important, the thing is that we decided to take things slow with our feelings, and yet, here I come, saying I love you while drunk!"  

Aguero was talking so fast that he barely kept up with all the new information. So, his brother and Bam had managed to talk about their feelings. But, they were so stupid that they decided to just ignore the obvious signs that they were already past any kind of platonic relationship? 

"But-" 

A.A rolled his eyes, "No, Ran, we haven't talked about it. I think Bam's going to ignore it, and maybe I should do the same. " 

These bothersome idiots- why were so-? 

"But you don't want to forget about it, A.A, even drunk, you meant every word." 

Said person was avoiding his eyes, looking at the shopping cart with wonder. 

"Of course, I meant it, but Ran, he may think I didn't."

Who you wouldn't believe in a love confession coming from your best friend who you also know has feelings for you? 

"So? talk to him, it's not that difficult, it's called communication."

His brother looked unconvinced. His gifted brain was probably trying to find an excuse to not talk to Bam about it. And again, it was the typical demeanor of a Khun. 

"What if he rejects me?" 

His older brother really liked to overthink everything. 

"Listen," he took some time, trying to find the right words, "Bam loves you," he used his most serious tone; this had to work. "I've seen it since we were kids, he loves you in more than a platonic way, don't be a fool." 

And Ran could confidently say that he was telling the truth.  

He had known Bam since he had the ability to remember. They met when Ran was still learning to walk. He and his brothers were still young and innocent to their family drama. Bam had come out of nowhere, without knowing he become a constant in Ran's life, always a comforting presence next to Aguero. An innocent brown-haired child who loved his family and his best friend immensely. 

Ran remembers being five, still so small, but, with a new understanding of life, one only a Khun could have, his brother past gone in their family politics. Bam had been there, to ground Aguero. An eleven-year boy trying his best to keep another eleven-year boy sane in all the drama, that only a family name like the Khuns could have. Bam had always calmed him down. At this point, Bam had become an expert in distracting Khuns from the fact that his father was a jerk. 

So, if Ran tries to remember one memory with Aguero that hasn't Bam in it, he would spend hours trying to find one. In some way, Bam was the cooler brother he had, always buying him the sweets he liked and being the one who calmed down his other brother when he had made a prank on him. Except, Bam wasn't his brother...yet. Which was a perfect reason to try and push some sense into his biological brother. 

"You understand that, right? He loves you." 

A.A nodded slowly, defeated, "I love him too," he stated, "but I'm not ready to risk it all." 

Oh shit. 

Ran was really bad at this. Emotional talks were not something Ran- or any Khun, if he was being honest- specialized in. They were a no-no. Still, if one Khun needed a talk, then he could try. 

"You'll never be ready, but I think it's worth a shot." He was being direct, "If you don't believe me, ask any of the others. I'm pretty sure Hachuling will say the same, Maria and Kiseia too, gosh even Maschenny."  

His brother wanted to say something, but Ran caught a glance of an approaching Bam, so he signaled him to keep his mouth shut. 

"Bam's approaching." 

Azure eyes moved faster to the back, glancing with yearning at the oncoming man. They followed him until Bam was in front of them, an apologetic smile in his face. 

"Hey, I didn't find the bananas Rak likes best, but after talking with some old lady, I found these ones that are similar."

Bam was oblivious to their little talk but still looked at the other Khun with worry, while the other Khun gazed at him in wonder, face with a tiny smile. 

"Don't worry, Bam," Aguero said with a calming tone, one that was similar to Maria's. "I'm sure alligator won't mind." 

They were looking directly at each other's eyes, and gosh, there they were. Finally, they were acting disgustingly sweet. However, his brother didn't look so good. Ran could literally listen to his thoughts from a mile away. 

So, doing what a good brother would do, he said, "Hey A.A can you go and fetch me some gummy bears? I promised Kiseia I was going to get her some." 

Said brother stared at him with questions in his blue eyes, "What-?" 

"Do as I say, don't be bothersome." He answered back, with fake annoyance.  

Bam laughed nervously, probably knowing that he was going to have a long talk with one of the Khun's brothers. 

"Okay." Aguero was tame, too tame exactly. It was evident he knew what Ran was doing and was giving him permission to do so; this was going to be interesting.

As blue disappeared, Ran turned to look at Bam, who was on the other side of the shopping cart. A different shade of blue, an electrifying one, searched for golden eyes. Poor guy, he looked almost with fear, and it was only Ran, the least threatening Khun. 

He could do a lot of things. He could be intimidating and said something along the lines of 'don't hurt my brother or I'll end you,' but that was more Hachuling's work. He could enumerate the times he saw Bam being helplessly in love, but that was more of Maria's job. He could name every way they could try to end Bam if he hurt Khun, but that was Kiseia's part. No, Ran's work was trying to make Bam see common sense. And what another way than to just say, "My brother loves you." 

The way he said the words were straight out emotionless, his face without expression, trying to get his point across the stubborn man. Bam looked surprised, almost as if he was caught red-handed. In his cheeks, the predominant colour was red. Oh, who was he kidding? Bam already knew this; the last statement had the only purpose to make Ran have the upper-hand. 

"I know," Bam said, and for the sake of keeping his promise, Ran tried his best to not say 'I know that you know.' The other man was fidgeting with his hands; Bam never got too nervous. Damn, these idiots really needed some meddling. 

Fuck it. 

"And I know you love him too." Ran confidently said. He knew Bam. He knew him as an older brother; of course, he knew that he and his brother had something going on. He saw them grow up together next to Rak, and how their relationship was so different from the one with Rak. All the hugs that he would find them in, all the times that they made sleepovers and ended up cuddling in the living room, yeah, their relationship was so different from their bond with Rak. 

It was a universal truth that Bam loved Aguero. It was so that even his ass of a father knew about it. Ran was sure that Jinsung Ha, Bam's legal guardian, also knew. 

"Yes, I love Khun too."

Ran gasped. This was the first time Bam had explicitly said he loved Aguero; he was coming clean. The cat was out of the bag. 

If Bam and Aguero accepted their feelings for each other, then- 

"What are you waiting for?" 

Bam let out a long breath, he looked downcast, as if he didn't want to wait, which was probably accurate; he was, after all, in love. 

"I'm waiting for him." 

And, of course, he would. 

Bam was, after all, a gentleman. And before a potential lover, Khun Aguero Agnis was his best friend. Bam would wait for him forever if necessary until said best friend had a complete understanding of his feelings. 

But, the thing is that his brother was already sure of his feelings; the only thing keeping him at bay was the fear of losing Bam. An irrational fear, Aguero would never lose Bam, no matter what he did, they had a stronger bond. In some way, the blue-eyed man was also waiting for Bam to make the first step. 

Yes, the two of them were a complete mess. 

Out of the corner of his eyes, he could see that his time with Bam was running short. His brother was approaching them, carrying an excessive amount of gummy bears. He looked back at Bam, and with the most sincere tone he could muster, he said, "He's done waiting."  

Bam gave him a knowing look, golden eyes shining with determination. They weren't even directed at him; Bam would always look at the older Khun. The emotions inside gold were more than just that; mixing with the previous determination was love and understanding. Ran was pretty sure he would have a new brother by the end of the week. 

"I'm not sure what gummies you guys would prefer, so I got them all, let's just pay them with the old man's credit card." Aguero was juggling with the packages, trying to keep them from falling out of his hands. 

Bam, not thinking twice, walked to help him. Once he was in front of Aguero, he took some of the packages and put them in his hands. This time, their hands touched again, and Bam let the touch linger with a soft, knowing smile. 

And there it was. Finally, Ran was done, not because there was something wrong, but because his brother and his not-quite-but-soon-to-be brother in law were being disgustingly sweet. 

Yes, things were right again, Ran was happy for them. 

And with that being said...

Ran was done.

Chapter Text

Wangnan needed sleep. His brain was practically begging for some time off. 

He, Viole, and Ewha had been studying nonstop for five hours. Five hours. He wanted to sleep, right there, right now. Or maybe it would be better if someone could knock him out. But this topic was essential, and he was required to understand it; so, there was no escape.   

The library was a desert, only four other poor souls aside from them. Ewha was trying her best with some math equations her class required, but, Wangnan could feel the murder energy irradiating from her. A few more minutes and there would be the impending rage fit.

Viole was– well, he was actually concentrating on his topic, taking notes with diligence. He looked like a top student, well, he was a top student. He looked like a concentrated puppy, brown hair falling out of the short ponytail, lips being bitten, and golden eyes completely focused, only looking at the screen. 

With curiosity, and because he didn’t want to focus on his own subject, Wangnan eyed the handwritten notes. They were really pretty. However, he wasn't sure if they were right for what Viole was studying. There were drawings of places, which was strange since Viole wasn't in anything related to arts. Sensing it was probably a new method to take notes he didn’t want to understand, he went back to his notes. Terrible idea, he didn’t understand a single word. 

Then, Ewha started writing aggressively. It was probably the room mood because after she ripped a page off her notebook with a frustrated sigh, Viole made a groaning sound, slamming his head to the table, in a sign of complete utter defeat. Poor boy. His friend looked like he had a lot to do, a multitude of papers surrounding his space, maybe one of his professors had left a tough assignment. But definitely, something was up. Viole was mumbling, head still pressed to the table. He and Ewha exchanged concerned looks. By instinct, they stopped doing their homework. Silently, they reached out to where a sleepy (read: sleep-deprived) brown-haired man was. 

He was still resting on the table, brows furrowed in concentration and defeat. 

"...maybe an amusement park no," Wangnan raised an eyebrow in confusion, "but a normal park won't do either..." 

Oh no, they had lost Viole to pressure. 

"Viole?" Ewha started slowly, calculating her words, "what are you talking about?" 

"I'm planning," Viole said, voice toneless. Poor boy, he was dead tired, he didn't even know what he was saying anymore. "I want everything to be perfect."

"Planning what exactly?" Wangnan tried to help him.  

“It has to be perfect.” 

Now, Wangnan wasn’t one to gossip, but-

“Why does it have to be perfect?” Okay, this was getting tiring, Viole wasn’t cooperating, and he didn’t have the investigation skills required for this. He didn’t have a sense of reality too,  so there was also that. He just wanted to sleep for god’s sake. 

He couldn’t anymore, one part of his brain was screaming let it go you’ll know about it sooner or later, another part of him was screaming back some pokemon opening, however, there was this specific part of his brain that told him it was something important. 

“I just… If I want him to say yes-” 

Wait a second. 

The pokemon opening stopped. His mind was now on fire, little Wangnans running in circles screaming in panic. 

“...Who?” Please it had to be- 

"Khun." Viole let it out in a breathy frustrated tone, “I want to tell Khun I’m in love with him since we were, I don’t know, sixteen?” 

At his side, Ewha gasped.

"You what now?" Wangnan blurted out in disbelief. 

If something every person who had ever met Khun and Bam knew was that those two were oblivious idiots. Was his brain playing with him? Did he already pass out due to exhaustion? 

"I want to tell Khun I love him, wait no, I probably shouldn't say that I don't want to scare him and– " 

"Viole, calm down, you're ranting." Ewha panicked said, "Okay, get up." 

He looked at her, silently asking what she was trying to do. Wangnan was met with determined pink eyes, burning like fire. It was kinda scary, but Ewha was scary, so he guessed it was okay.  

"I don't wanna– " 

"Viole," Ewha challenged back, "if you do, then Wangnan and I will help.” 

He looked at her with a clear no written in his eyes, Khun may be a perfectionist, but Bam? He was even worse. Noup, he wouldn’t do it, no today satan. But Ewha looked at him with burning eyes and a menacing smile. Well, maybe he could do it. Yes, absolutely. 

The honey-eyed man looked at them, and Wangnan nodded, accepting his fate. He would barely pass his test anyway so there was no point in studying. And just like that, Viole was up, blinking the sleepiness away. New hope in his eyes. 

"You're actually planning to do it?" he asked, still trying to understand all the connotations to the statement. 

Viole nodded with a sleepy but happy smile, "I think it's time to, I’m ready." 

Ewha was smiling so wide, Wangnan thought that she was probably hurting her cheeks. 

"Aww, wait!" she cooed. " If Viole's actually going to do it, then we need, we need,”  she emphasized the second ‘need’ as it was a matter of life or death, which was probably accurate, “to ask Hwaryun."  

Oh! Ewha wasn't a prodigy for nothing!

"That's a good idea!" he exclaimed. 

"Let me call her," Viole talked, rapidly searching for her contact. 

It took him some tries because of sleepiness, but he ended up pressing the ‘call button’. 

And they did; they called Hwaryun at 2 in the morning on a Friday night. Not their brightest idea he must admit. So, he wasn't surprised when the red-head answered the call with an annoyed tone. Of course, she was mad at them. 

"Viole." 

"Yes? Miss Hwaryun?" Oh sweet innocent Viole, he was still smiling. 

"Why are you calling me this late at night?" the three stayed in silence, knowing this had been a bad idea, "Did something happened?" 

They exchanged looks, almost with guilt, but Viole was a man on a mission, and they were not going to back down. And yeah, it also helped that they had been studying for so long that their brains weren't working anymore. 

"I wanted to ask if you could help me?" 

"Is this about Khun?" Viole nodded lazily.  

"You called at three in the morning only to ask me that?" she was irritated, they had fucked up really bad. 

Viole looked at them for answers, panic in his eyes "...Yes?"

"I'm going back to sleep." 

What an ice lady.

"Wait! Miss Hwaryun–" 

"You're practically dating, just kiss him. Good night." 

And with that last statement, she cut the call off. Viole was opening and closing his mouth as if he wanted to say something more in his defence, anything, but it was already too late. Ewha laughed nervously, Wangnan following her, his other friend was still watching at the phone in astonishment.  

"Okay!" he finally said, "Viole, why don't you go and bring us some food." 

"But–" 

"It's a great way to clear your head, and we're hungry, right, Ewha?" he kicked her in the shin, hoping she received his message. 

She looked at him in annoyance, he moved his eyes, smiling forcefully trying to convey his message. It took her some time but she finally understood, they didn’t share a collective brain cell for nothing. 

"Oh! Yes! Yes, we're super hungry!" she was really really bad at lying, but, seeing as Viole was not paying attention to anything except the phone, looking at it in betrayal, he accepted. 

"What kind of food would you like?" 

"Coffee!" they said in unison, the three laughing at it. 

Once they gave the brunet the money, and once he was out of sight, they looked at each other with excitement, ready to discuss the matter in hand. Apparently, you can be sleepy and nearly dying because of studying, but once the opportunity of talking about your friend’s love life comes your brain finally wakes up. 

"He's planning to confess!" Ewha nearly shouted in a swift of emotions. 

"I know, I know, right?!" he whispered – shouted – back. 

The librarian sent them a warning to stay silent. 

"I can't believe he's actually going to do it,” Ewha returned to their conversation after asking for forgiveness.  “I've always thought it was going to be Khun." 

"Well, remember that time we had to do a group project with Khun?" Ewha nodded eagerly, "He thinks too much for his own good, of course Viole was going to be the one who had the strength to do it."

"I can't believe you're right." 

"Hey!" he chuckled, "wait, do you think Viole is going to do it soon?" 

They stared at each other before laughing. Yeah, no, Viole was going to take his sweet, sweet time. 

Within a few more minutes, Viole was back, trying to maintain the coffee cans in balance. 

"I couldn't find the coffee you two like the most, so we just have to do with this one," he said while passing them the cans. 

Then, they returned to their studying session before Ewha showed her eagerness in learning what Viole was going to do. Wangnan, as a good friend and with the same curiosity, asked. 

"So... what are you planning to do?" 

That was probably not the best thing to ask, he realized, because the brown-haired man just groaned and hit his head with the table, again, in a Khun-like manner. Damn even their habits were the same. 

"I... don't... know..." 

"But –  But you've been searching all afternoon!" Ewha chipped in. 

"Yes!" Viole said, frustrated, " But no place is actually good for this." 

"What?" he traded looks with the pink-eyed woman, her eyes were just as confused as his. 

"I planned to go to the beach, but then I remembered Khun doesn't like it when it's too hot –" 

"Okay, that's uh, that's understandable," Ewha talked, "but there must be other options."

"The thing is, there really isn't." Viole used a matter-of-fact tone. "I thought about going to the market street, but Khun doesn't like –" 

"Crowds." Wangnan helped him, remembering the time they went together there, and poor Goseng ended up being shouted by Khun. 

"See? there aren't good options." Viole sighed, defeated. 

"Viole, you're tired, time to take a break." Ewha tried her best to use a conciliating tone but failed miserably. A+ for effort though. 

"No, I want everything to be perfect," even though he said that, Viole was trying to maintain his eyelids open. 

"Viole," Ewha tried again," sleep for a bit, Wangnan and I are going to search for you."

Viole seemed to consider what was just said, before nodding in acceptance. 

"Mkay," his voice was soft, too sleepy to be heard. His friend was dead tired, once he posed his head on the table he was out, his mind now in dreamland, possibly with a certain blue head.  

Once he was back next to his laptop, he asked, "are we actually going to do research?" his home screen was ready with different tabs, each with a new restaurant. Study be damned, Viole needed help. 

"Of course," Ewha declared, tying her hair up, determined, " we need to find something worthy of mister perfect." 

"Just show Viole and some chocolates, and he's bought," he snickered. 

The black-haired woman chuckled, "Just tell him Viole likes him back, and he's going to be in the clouds before processing the information and think it's not true." She mocked. 

"And they keep being like that for two more years." 

"Cheers to that," Ewha raised her coffee can, he did the same, and the cans met in a lovely ‘clink!’. 

Okay, it was time to do this. 

He made a map of the restaurants Khun may like, while Ewha made a filter on good hidden points in the city. They organized it in two documents that they later sent to Viole. Wangnan was sure they did a pretty good job. They've been doing it for a least 40 minutes when the same person they were doing it for appeared.  

Holy fuck. 

What Wangnan wasn't ready to see one night at 3 in the morning was one Khun Aguero Agnis. He wrapped in a trench coat with pyjamas underneath it, blue hair in a messy bun, long eyebags adorning his face, and blue eyes that gleamed with an annoyed look. He looked funny, yet, terrifyingly handsome. God really had favourites. 

"Where's Bam?" he demanded, tone silvery just as his pyjamas. 

He chuckled, and what he said afterwards was probably a mistake his tired brain couldn't help but make. "You mean your boyfriend?" 

Ewha directed him an alarming look, he gazed back, a smirk on his face, "Ewha look, Viole's boyfriend came to pick him up." 

Khun looked at him with deadly blue eyes, Ewha, on the other hand, smiled, following his lead. 

"It's a sadness Viole has such an attractive boyfriend, they're both attractive, it's so unfair." 

Khun was even more annoyed now, eyes closing slowly in a manner that'll make him have some patience, eyebags more visible now. Cerulean blue eyes, searching for a certain gold-eyed man, and finally founding him sleeping on the table. His face changed, features becoming soft, his frown disappeared, and his eyes gained a new warmth. Wangnan could feel the warmness from where he was sitting. It was sickening. 

"Bam," Khun sighed, and he swears that he could feel the longing in his tone. They were being disgustingly in love, and one of them wasn't even awake. 

"Man's tired, yet he is still ready to get his man huh?" his brain needed to shut the fuck up if he still wanted to live. 

"Just," Khun looked tired at him, "shut up." 

"Yessir!" 

Finally, the blue-haired man moved to reach where the sleeping beauty was, touching his shoulder in a delicate manner, just to wake him up. It worked. Viole woke up instantly as if his body knew by memory Khun's touch.  

"Come on, wake up," Khun softly talked with a little smile. 

Viole looked up, blue met gold, even if he was still sleepy, his eyes glowed once they met. "Oh. Hello Khun." Viole smiled at his friend. 

"Hello to you too," the blue-eyed man said softly. They really needed to kiss to break the tension. "Come on, you need sleep." 

"No." 

Oh my god, Viole was too tired to function, acting like a child. 

"Bam," Khun looked exasperated, but still, he rested his hand on the other man's cheek, "I left alligator alone, we need to go back home." 

"I don't wanna," Viole sighed, pressing more into Khun's warm hand. 

"Bam, please," Khun was still using a soft voice, carefully trying to convince his best friend to move. 

"Mmmm no," Viole was acting like a spoiled child, it was funny to see. Out of the corner of his mouth, Ewha slowly reached for her phone, silently recording the scene. 

"Pretty please? You need to sleep, Bam." Khun tried, failing again. 

“Pretty please with a cherry on top,” he whispered in mockery, done with those two idiots.

Khun also tried to close Viole's laptop, ready to put it in his bag, but was interrupted by its owner's hands. 

"Not yet," the brunet was slurring the words, "I was almost finishing my plan." 

Code blue. Code blue. Code blue. 

For fucks sake. 

Viole why?

He and Ewha were exchanging panicked looks. Viole was going to fuck things up for himself. Khun directed an asking glance at them, and of course, they moved their gazes to every other part but where the couple was situated. Out of a sudden, the book section across the table looked interesting.

"A plan?" tone demanding, Khun was looking at Viole. 

Viole nodded slowly, "yeah," he was, obviously, not aware of his words. Wangnan wanted to stop him, just like a good friend would do, but it was already too late as his friend muttered, "for me to confess to you." 

Fuck. 

Silence. A gasp. 

"Oh." 

His eyes searched rapidly for Khun. 

What a view. 

He looked like a deer caught in the headlights, flushed cheeks, eyes wide open. It was also a funny view, seeing as Khun Aguero Agnis, for the first time, didn't know what to say. 

The room was in complete silence. Wangnan looked at Ewha. Once he met pink eyes, she mouthed a 'holy shit,' he muttered back, 'holy fucking shit.'  

Khun was still quiet, eyes moving, even a soul like Wangnan could hear the gears of his head moving faster and faster. The prodigy was thinking hard, and Viole was still smiling brightly at him, unaware of the situation he just created. 

"Are you planning to confess to me?" Khun finally says in a sweet and soft tone, an adoring smile adorning his face. 

However, the only thing Wangnan took notes of is the way he finally was able to pronounce a complete and coherent sentence. Props to him.  

Viole nods, "Yeah, I'm even making a plan, see?" he looks at Khun irritated, cheeks puffed, "but you're making me sleep early." 

And the banter starts again.

"It's time to sleep." 

"But I don't want to." 

"You promised Ran you were going to help him with his homework tomorrow." Khun was massaging his temple, done with his best friend. 

"We're not actually going to do homework, and you know it." Viole was still stubborn, and he didn't make a move to signify that he was ready to go home. 

"Bam–" 

"Khun, this is really important, I have to make a good plan so you can say yes when the moment comes, and I ask you to be my boyfriend." 

Viole really said all that with a straight face. Ewha was practically squealing at his side. He had said the words so determined that the blue hair was the only thing of that color in Khun's face. He was practically a tomato. 

"B– Bam, wait, you can continue that later."  Khun tried to say in a flat tone but failed miserably, voice coming out breathy. 

"I can't! I promised Ran I was going to finish it by tomorrow's afternoon." 

"What?!" 

Wangnan was pretty sure they already forgot about him and Ewha, but hey, they got front line seats to this drama. The Yeon woman was still recording, thank god she was rich and her phone had storage; they were going to watch this with all their other friends. 

"Why is even Ran asking you to do this? And why are you accepting?" 

"Because he's the best Khun." 

Ouch. 

Khun gasped in betrayal, and it was so funny, he was clearly tired, his hair was falling out of the bun, and his pyjamas were more visible. Finally, Khun directed his gaze at them. Oh! So he hadn't forgotten about the duo.  

"You two," oh no, he was in full leader mode, "help me." 

Seeing as the man was dead tired and wasn't ready to fight two more stubborn idiots, they decided to be obedient. Straightening their spines, they were ready to accept his orders. 

"Gather all of Bam's things," his voice was orotund, yet, his eyes were still so soft for the brunet. He was so whipped. 

"But!" Ewha, oh poor innocent Ewha, tried to escape her fate. 

"Did I stutter?" Khun looked at them with annoyance, his eyebags were more prominent with every minute that passed by. This made them remember that a tired Khun was dangerous to deal with. 

Silently they started to gather every book, pencil, and papers belonging to Viole. Once it was all in Viole's bag, he tried to give it to Khun. 

"Not yet, I'm going to take Bam to the car first, and then I'll come back to retrieve this." 

"Take all the time you need." He said suggestively, only gaining a warning look from blue eyes. 

"Bam, come on, let's go," Khun was gently tapping Bam's arm, "lean on my shoulder." 

"Mmm no," even though he said that Viole was finally getting up. 

"Bam," Khun sighed, "It's three in the morning, and I'm tired, let me carry you to the car." 

Viole was leaning into Khun's shoulder, he was with his eyes closed, head in the other man's shoulder. "But I get to have the left side of the bed." 

"This is not the time to talk about this, Bam." 

"I said what I said."

While Khun's cheeks were still a pinkish colour, he managed to manoeuvre Viole into the exit. They looked cute, and they needed to kiss. He was getting tired of all the pining. 

Once they were out of sight, he turned to look at his companion. Ewha was there with a huge smile, texting to someone, who was probably Goseng. 

"Did you see that too? or am I dreaming?" 

And yes, even though he was pretty sure what he saw was real, he couldn't trust his brain. Pink eyes looked at him in annoyance and victory. 

"Bitch I even have it in tape." She raised her hand to do a high-five. 

They failed three times before doing it correctly. The brain cell was struggling. 

"Twenty bucks they're together by next week." 

"Bet." 

They shake their hands in a silent agreement, Wangnan could already feel the money. 

Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw the blue-haired man coming back, this time without a certain brown-haired man. He walked to meet him, Ewha following close by. Once they gave Khun Viole's bag, he decided to challenge his luck again. 

"Hey Khun?" he pronounced slowly, brain trying to catch up. 

"What?" Khun snapped.  

"Goodluck with the plan!" he squealed. Ewha nodded, still sleepy but with an encouraging smile. 

"Shut the fuck up, it's not like that." 

It’s not like that my ass. 

He just smiled, exchanging knowing looks with Ewha. And as Khun disappeared again, they went back to the table. 

The ride home was complete silence, partly because they were tired, partly because of the scenes for the day. It was finally time for them to become an official couple. 

Wangnan could already imagine. They would be absolutely adorable, showing how much they loved each other every day. This time, they would do it without hiding it with the excuse of friendship.  

Oh no. 

They would show how much they loved each other every day. He was ready to watch them become a couple, but he wasn’t ready to watch them being adorable. His heart couldn’t take it. But, Wangnan was happy for Viole. 

With a smile and good news, Ewha and Wangnan returned home.  

Chapter Text

Prologue

Kindergarten, sunflowers, and kindred spirits. 

“Who are you?” 

Bam asked; because it was rude if he didn’t and because at the playground there were flowers, but this person was different, and he could feel it somehow. Mamma said it was a good signal to feel it. 

“What?” The blue-haired boy talked, and Bam noticed that he had a sunflower drawing in his clothes, making him more mystical.

“Momma says that when I find someone beautiful, I have to ask them their names.”

The other kid looked at him with curiosity, and Bam wanted to learn more about him.  

“I’m Khun Aguero Agnis. Nice to meet you…?”

So, his name was Khun… it was even more lovely than he imagined. But Bam didn’t like his own name; it was long and not that lovely. His master always laughed when Bam protested that he wanted to be named Bam instead of Viole. 

“Oh! Uhm! My name is too long, just call me Bam.” 

“Nice to meet you my-name-its-too-long-just-call-me-Bam.” 

Now that their presentations were done, Bam could finally tell what he had been thinking since he entered the classroom that morning. 

“You’re beautiful, Khun!”

One: Shibisu and the helpless struggle of unsaid words. [Alternatively: One: Bam, Khun and the aftermath of “Love”] 

On their walk home from school, Bam founds himself recollecting his thoughts. The day’s events still in his head, playing like a broken record. He may be overthinking everything but, there wasn’t any indication for those thoughts to leave anytime soon. Everyone said that high school was destined to be filled with fascinating and intriguing events; but, he was glad that he wasn’t part of them. The only big thing he had going on was a misunderstanding with his best friend, which luckily, after today’s developments, was all water under the bridge. 

And yet, even a little misunderstanding made his head spin with all the possible implications that came with it. No one talked about the aftermath of a resolution; no one talked about how some things wouldn’t leave his head, bugging him all afternoon. 

Khun had said something, Khun had called him- 

“You called me love,” Bam babbled, words finding their way out of his lips in a hurry without him noticing until it was too late. He screamed internally, hoping and praying that Khun hadn’t heard him.  

One second passes by. 

Two. 

Three. 

Khun stops walking. Bam panics. 

He couldn’t see Khun’s face entirely. So, Bam was preparing himself for the worst-case scenario. 

But with Khun, there was never a worst-case scenario, not if Bam was involved.  

When Khun finally turned around, Bam could only see blue eyes looking at him in disbelief.

“…What?” The blue-haired boy finally whispers, cheeks rosy and lips parted, and even if Bam wanted to, he couldn’t stop staring.  

He smiles sheepishly, trying not to blush; in a second, he realises there’s no turning back. He proves luck and tries again. 

“When we were hugging,” he starts, avoiding looking at the other man’s eyes. It’s more of a safety matter than to simply avoid being embarrassed. Bam feels that if he keeps looking at his best friend and those shining blue eyes of his, he will lose every single bit of coherence left in him. “You called me love.” 

Khun is silent, awfully calm even for him, and against all his thoughts, golden eyes search for indigo. 

He’s met with alarmed eyes staring in every direction but him. What’s even worse is that his lips are in a perfect round frame, denoting surprise, and Bam can’t help but look at them hypnotized. They’re pink and have a lovely shape. Something in his brain says that they’re the perfect shape for him. 

Wait.

Maybe he shouldn’t think about that; Khun is just his best friend. But those thoughts grow at an alarming rate breaking every record in the world. 

“Oh, uhm, right.” Khun talks awkwardly, “my mom used to call us that, you know, so we could calm ourselves down when we used to cry.” 

Bam looks at him intrigued, Khun doesn’t sound convinced of his words. 

“I guess I did it out of habit.” He finishes with a resigned expression. 

And well, in between all, Khun looks so confused that Bam lets it slide. 

“Oh…” Bam mutters, trying to hide the wave of disappointment he felt. “Okay.” 

It was unmistakable that Khun would choose practicality over feelings. He didn’t mean whatever overtone Bam was trying to make in his head. Khun called Bam love with the only goal of calming him down. There was no secret undertone, no confidential message to uncover, just a friend trying to calm another.  

Despite all, Bam can’t help but find himself wanting for Khun to say something else, anything, that would state that perhaps, behind all, a romantic connotation was hiding in hopes of being found out. 

Once again, he shouldn’t be thinking any of that; they are friends. 

Just friends.  

Trying to leave the awkward conversation behind, they start walking again. Side by side. Between moments, Bam sneaks glances at Khun, who is once again looking everywhere but him. It’s kind of cute. His ocean blue eyes are staring at the changing trees, awe dancing through his features. 

Moments like this are the reason why Bam is downright sure that Khun Aguero Agnes is nothing but absolutely stunning. He is ethereal, and Bam is not taking any criticism about it. 

Maybe, he shouldn’t think about how beautiful his best friend is. 

“Did you…?” Khun talks, indigo eyes still looking at the trees; Bam moves his head to look at him properly. “Did you want for it to be something else?” 

Well. 

He could lie, say that he was okay with whatever, but deep down.

Deep down, Bam wanted for Khun to say that little and confusing word in a romantic connotation. He wanted to be called love by Khun in a more than a platonic way, and it was frightening how much he desired it. Still, was it right for him to want that? Was it okay? Khun was his best friend ever since he could remember. Was it really okay for him to want to be more than that? He wasn’t sure about it. And yet-  

“…Maybe.” He decides to whisper, looking at the blue-haired man with sincerity, trying to open his heart without getting hurt. His friend’s cheeks acquired a devilish pink, and he appears breath-taking. That view is the only confirmation for Bam to know that it was the right answer. 

Finally, his best friend turns his head from the trees and looks at him. Blue eyes meet golden ones for the first moment in a not-so-long time; still, they stay looking at each other for more than a second, maybe even a year. 

They stop walking, standing on the sidewalk while interrupting other people’s routine. It should make Bam feel bad, but he finds out that he doesn’t care, not when Khun has a soft smile adorning his face. And Bam adores that smile with his whole being.  

“Okay,” Khun says at last, voice a soft tune. He looks otherworldly surrounded by the city lights, leaves flying around him, air moving his blue tresses in the most endearing way. And Bam knows he’s in love. 

Oh no. 

He is in love. 

Interlude One: 

nightmares, confused feelings and a bed. 

Bam woke to a sudden knock on his door, which was strange since he could sleep everywhere and not be woken up by such a little thing. Since the knocking didn’t stop after a few seconds, he rose, lethargic as one could be. What was his surprise when, in front of him, there was the one, the unmatched – 

“Khun?” 

“Bam,” he breathed out.

Was it a dream? No, Khun would never look this dishevelled in a dream. 

“What are you doing here… it's late?” 

Khun blinked a few times, lost, trying to find an answer.

“I know it's late, I just – I couldn’t sleep.”

While only focusing on his eyes, Bam noticed how they look a little crystalized; had he been crying earlier? 

“Oh! It's okay. We can talk for a few minutes.”

Oh, he had sounded too awkward. It didn't matter anyway because Khun was not exactly paying attention. 

“But I’m tired.”

That was even more strange. And suspicious, were Khun and Rak trying to prank him?  

“So, why did you come here?” 

Silence. Then Khun entered his bedroom, leaving Bam to collect the clues. 

“Bam?”

“Mmm?”

“Have I ever told you your duvet is super comfy?”

My what now – 

“Uh- no?”

“And that your bed is too big for a guy like you?”

Well, it was big, but –

“Khun?”

“And that my room is a mess, and Rak’s snores are just too much.” 

Bam silently noted that he couldn’t hear a single snore that night.

“Did you have a nightmare?”

“No! yes! But it doesn’t matter, 'cause there’s no food at the kitchen and–“

Khun was moving frantically in his bedroom, which wasn’t an odd sight, but it was a bit unusual at this hour.

“Khun?” 

“The thing is, Can I sleep here tonight?”

Sleep where tonight – 

“What?”  

“Too late, too tired, don’t make me say it again, or I’ll leave.” 

Oh! That was a lovely shade of red on Khun’s face. 

“I – uh – wait!” 

“Yes?”

"Just sleep, okay? We can talk about it later.” He patted the bed, trying to stop this awkward situation and sleep a few hours. 

“Can you move to the left side? I’m used to sleeping at the right one.” 

You have to be kidding me. 

“Yeah, sure, just sleep, please.” 

Khun flopped down the bed, instantly closing his eyes. Bam watched him, curious about everything that had happened in only a few seconds. 

“I lov– like! The sound of your heartbeats.” Khun mumbled, and Bam's heart stopped. 

He sighed, “Whatever you say, sleepyhead.” 

Two: Endorsi and the art of hidden feelings. [Alternatively, Two: Bam, Khun, and the secrets they’re willing to keep.]

“We’re never telling that story again,” Khun grunts, head moving with disappointment.   

Bam notes that he is probably embarrassed and trying to hide his discomfort in the only way Khun would try to, brushing his hand with his own in a not so subtle manner, searching comfort. 

“Agreed,” Bam answers in defeat, remembering those moments in the library with Endorsi. They were the most uncomfortable ones he had in a while, and that’s saying a lot. 

Their little talk takes place on the street once they’re out of the library. And as they’re walking, Bam can’t help but focus on their semi-intertwined hands. This little occurrence has made its way into their regular lives, becoming a habit they don’t really mind. 

When they were in high school, they would always walk remarkably close, trying – and not making it subtle – to brush hands. (It would never end up with them holding hands properly, just pinkies.) What’s more, if Bam tried to change that arrangement, trying to take more than just a pinkie, it would end up with Khun rushing home with a lame excuse. 

Somewhere after that, and once they were adults sharing an apartment, there wasn’t any good reason to hide their little habit. Along the way, they transform it into an ordinary thing they did. (Only when they were alone or thought their friends weren’t watching.)

Bam is kind of proud to have been the one who initiated contact that first time after graduation. He isn’t sure when Khun started answering back, but he decides he doesn’t care. Not when the warmth of his hand is so close to him now.  

“It wasn’t a lie, you know?” He gathers the courage to talk. 

While it was true Endorsi was ruthless with her questions, it was also correct that they tried to evade everything she attempted to ask. 

Maybe it was time to finally talk about it. 

“What?” Khun chuckles, staring at him with a little playful smile. Once again, Bam is reminded how lucky he is to be the only one seeing this side of the blue-haired man. 

But as much as Bam wanted to relish in that fact, he also knows when Khun is trying to evade a topic – especially one that compromises almost everything about their friendship.

“You,” he stops, thinking of the right combination of words to say. The last thing he wants now is for Khun to run away again. “You, hiding in my room, it wasn’t a lie.” 

He closes his eyes in retaliation, waiting for a response that wouldn’t make him want to hit his head with a book. He is only partially surprised when Khun chuckles at his side. His mind takes a sideway from its original plan to admire how beautiful was the sound, a melody so flawless many composers would die to capture in their works. If Bam could take a guess, he would say that it was the sound of angels laughing. 

“How are we going to explain, Endorsi of all people,” Khun raises his finger in a symbol of emphasis when he says Endorsi’s name. “That I’ve been sleeping in your bed for almost a month.” 

“Well, if your phrase it like that –“ 

Khun snickers at him and Bam joins him because how could he not? Khun had one of the most contagious laughs in the world.  

“See?” Khun smirks at him, “We really can’t; we haven’t even told alligator.” 

“Hey! Rak is smart. I’m pretty sure he knows already.” 

And Bam is convinced. It’s been too many days since Rak had become more subtle at breakfast, always wanting to say some second-meaning phrases but staying quiet for the sake of his food. Also, if there was another being in the world who understood Bam and Khun better than anyone else, that was Rak. 

“I stand by my words.” Khun grins, and he looks so kissable that Bam has to remind himself that they were only friends. Nothing more. 

But it wasn’t the best moment to think about it. Bam was trying to have a serious conversation, Khun's lips were distracting him, and he wasn’t even mad about it. He couldn't help but think of the night it all started, almost a month ago. Khun in his door, in his mouth a sea of excuses, moving to his bed and falling asleep instantly taking with him every new piece of Bam's heart. 

Bam agrees that it’s time to talk about it. 

“Well,” he speaks, not sure if he’s going to regret the next words but oh well, “you can say what you said to me the first time you came into my room.” 

Khun stops walking, making Bam advance without him, and making their hands separate slightly. But the view he has makes up for it all. Khun is blushing, furiously blushing, and he looks like an apple. He tries to take a mental picture of that sight; for him to admire later. 

“And…what did I say to you?” Khun asks, tone cheeky, lips in a smirk. He’s almost back to normal Khun, except that pink is still adorning his lovely face.  

Oh, so he’s going to play like that.

Bam smiles, ready to try and turn the tables. (But he knows very well that even there, Khun has already won.)

“You said you preferred my duvet.” 

“Is that all?” His friend stares at him, daring him to continue. 

And no, it wasn’t all. Khun had said many things that night. He talked about the air, the horrible conditions of his bed, and how Rak’s snores had been so obnoxious, he couldn't close an eye. But even then, the best excuse had been – 

“You also said you liked the sound of my heartbeat,” he chips in, remembering the exact moment and how he felt all warm inside. 

Khun starts walking again, trying to escape the emotional statement of Bam’s words. 

Bam follows him, as always.  

“Did I really?” his friend mutters a few seconds later, looking at the stores in front of them. Bam smiles widely, realising this was Khun’s way to ask if it was okay. 

Bam wasn’t one for tempting luck, but he does anyways. Deciding his hand had spent too much time alone, he reaches for Khun’s. Now, they’re holding hands, really holding hands. It seems like a little step forward, but this is Khun; it was more of a leap of faith. 

When Khun gives his hand a little squeeze, Bam can’t help but think that this was how things should be. Just him and Khun, hand in hand, walking through the streets in the hot sun only summer could make. 

But they’re still friends, and he is okay with that. Right now. he’s happy with how things are. 

And yet. 

Looking at his hand holding Khun’s, wishing that their lives were intertwined instead of their hands. 

Maybe someday , he thinks. 

Bam still needs to wait. 

But he doesn’t mind. 

Interlude Two:

a kitchen, a talk, and a shared confusion. 

“Bam, what are we?” 

It was funny how so many things in your life could change with only a few seconds of difference. At one moment, he was at the kitchen, cooking next to Khun, and at the other, he was at the kitchen being asked a question he was not sure he was ready to answer yet. 

“What?” 

Play dumb, play dumb, maybe if you do, he won't smell your fear. 

“What are we?” 

Oh fuck. 

“We are – uh, we are friends…?” 

He fucked up, he didn’t mean for his voice to waver, and now Khun was looking at him with cunning blue eyes, and– he was getting distracted by them. 

“Bam –“

“Best friends?” 

Oh, at this point, he was making his own grave. 

“Bam,” Khun talked sternly, “What are we?” 

Well, if Khun didn’t know, he couldn’t be expecting Bam to know. Bam always followed Khun and didn’t really stop to think about all possibilities. 

But if Khun was asking, then it was important. And then again, Bam didn’t have an answer, at least not one he was ready to tell. 

“Do you really want to know, Khun?” 

The other man sighed in defeat, “I don’t know, but I think we have to talk.”

“Cause I think we’re way past the point of best friends.” 

“I–“ 

“Or are we best bros?” 

“Don’t ever refer to me as a bro, or I’ll send Rak to cook next time.” 

Bam chuckled. 

“Well, either way, I think best friends don’t quite act as we do.” 

“Obviously,” Khun cut in, “but I don’t know if I’m ready to put a name on it.” 

Ah, just as he had expected, Khun wasn’t prepared yet. 

“It’s okay. We don’t have to put a name to it yet.” He tried to make Khun know that this was okay, that he didn’t mind Khun not being ready, that he himself wasn’t quite ready yet. 

“Well, we’re us, and we never followed a plan…so?” 

Khun was waiting for a confirmation, and Bam was waiting to give one. 

“We’ll go from there.” He spoke. 

“We’ll go from there.” 

Three: Hatz, drunken confusion, and a realisation. [Alternatively: Three: Bam, Khun, an almost kiss, and a confession.] 

“You know Rak didn’t mean it.”

“He’s still a bitch.”

Under the kitchen lights, Khun is looking at him with an injured hand and an expression of fake betrayal, mocking at Bam. Even if Bam needed to be careful of his words, he thinks Khun's aspect is ethereal.

“Yeah, right, whatever you say.” Rolling his eyes, he gives the countertop a little tap, “let me see your wound."

“You’re saying it like I just cut my whole hand,” while walking to the counter, Khun laughs. “It’s not even that bad. Don’t make a big deal out of it.”

He shakes his head in defeat. Khun was always acting like that, trying to appear indestructible outside while having a complete breakdown inside. Continuously trying to be the rock most people needed, but never accepting he needed something to hold to. Well, it was a bit of luck that he was the best at reading Khun. 

“I’ll make a big deal out of it if I want to. You’re my best friend, and I care about you.”

 Khun looks at him irritated – in a typical Khun mannerism that Bam can only associate with Ran. Then again, every Khun has something in common apart from their blue hair and electrifying eyes. He makes a signal to the blue-haired man to give him his injured finger. Khun extends his hand adamantly, making Bam smile softly in return. 

He starts working. Slowly, and with all the care in the world, he heals Khun. All his attention is set on his friend, carefully putting the alcohol, meticulously bandaging the finger. Even if it’s a minor injury, Bam feels it should take the same care as a dead-threatening one. Maybe he’s just being overprotective. 

On the countertop, Bam can look at Khun all long as he wants without raising suspicions. They’re still almost the same height – he had surpassed Khun a few months ago, Rak couldn’t stop laughing for a week. He knows pretty well that he likes that fact a little too much, mostly because now, he can admire all the fine little details on Khun’s face. 

He would like to stay just like this, in the kitchen with Khun near him, studying him without a care in the world. But he can’t. 

(Something in his mind wonders if Khun is thinking the same thing.)

“Okay!” He exclaims, maybe a bit too loud, trying to escape the warmth of Khun’s body and all the existential thoughts it brings with it, ”It’s finished.” 

It’s not that he wants to escape this, whatever it was, but it wasn’t the time. And no matter how inviting it made him want to just let it all go, he can’t. 

“Thanks, Bam,” Khun whispers, maybe a bit hurt, maybe a bit uncertain. One thing is for sure, he knows what Bam was doing. 

And yet, he doesn’t do anything to change that.  

“But first,” he mutters, not sure if he’s ready to let go yet. With his voice, he tells a secret – one that longs to be yelled out in the open for everyone to listen. He takes Khun’s hand, surrendering, searching for that warmth again, for only one more time, and then he promises himself he’ll let go. (But that’s a complete lie, and he knows it too well to fight it.) 

“A get-well-soon kiss.” 

“Bam– “Khun tries to warn him, but his tone is nothing but a silent plea to keep going. This could end badly, this could ruin them entirely – this could be a turning point, an open door. Bam wants to walk through it. 

“Shush.”

Khun watches him, absorbed in his own demons. His blue blue eyes, expecting any goddamn sign of what Bam was thinking. It hasn’t been a long time since they talked about it, yet, Bam is lost without a doubt. But he knows one thing, and it may not be much, but Bam is convinced that maybe, just maybe, this kiss – even if it's not even on the lips – may mean much more than just that. 

It means much more than just a good-natured joke.

Slowly he takes Khun’s hand; gently, he takes the injured finger to his lips and kisses it, wishing Khun understands what he’s trying to state. He raises his eyes a little afraid of what he’s going to be welcomed with. However, when they lock gazes, the only thing occupying his thoughts are indigo eyes filled with the same longing as his.

Bam’s world is only filled with blue.

 Khun’s eyes are more expressive than their holder, and they look at him screaming, sharing a secret, and it’s so easy .

 It’s so easy to kiss him. 

Khun’s eyes are alluring, giving him a silent invitation to come closer. They’re shining like the sea on a sunset, slowly painting themselves with golden hues, and Bam is a breath away. Their breaths intermingle. Khun closes his eyes, Bam is a breath away from those pink lips. He can feel Khun’s breaths, only a little bit closer and – 

A sound comes from behind, startling them. They split up in a second. 

Their friends are there, sprawled at the kitchen’s floor, looking at them in surprise and horror. 

The moment is over.

.

.

.

“Khun. Stop moving. You’re taking all the blankets.” 

A drunk Khun was never fun to deal with, and now Bam was in charge of taking care of him.

Fucking hell. 

Typically, it would’ve been fine, but after the chaotic events of this night, Bam only wanted some sleep. Close his eyes, fall into the dark...and deal with the mess later. 

Khun was moving too much. 

“If it’s bothering you, then get closer,” Khun mumbled from his side at the bed, dragging out the vowels in a drunken speech. 

Bam wants to scream. 

Perhaps, it’s not too late to make Khun sleep in his own damn room. 

“I’m not going to fight with a drunk person.” Nope, not today; he had enough. He loved Khun, of course he did, but with the scene Khun made a few minutes ago, he just wanted some moments alone with his monstrous thoughts. Khun didn’t make it easier. 

“Well, you’re doing it right now,” Khun beams at him. 

Bam wants to give him a little kick, just for old times sake. 

Sadly, Khun looked adorable. The man was burying himself in a blanket burrito – using his blankets, languid movements filled with a charm that only made Bam fall deeper. 

Even if Bam wanted to be mad, he couldn’t. (He was long gone, and he didn’t want to hide it.) 

“You’re impossible,” he whispers adoringly. 

Flopping on the bed, Bam could feel Khun near him, moving his blanket burrito to be closer to him. The whole absurdity of the situation makes him want to cry. 

“But you love me. I know you do.” His best friend murmurs back. 

Bam stays silent. 

He doesn’t know what to answer. It’s not the first time he’s at a loss of words with Khun, it's obviously not the last either. He can sense a conversation coming, but this is drunk Khun. 

A Khun who isn’t in all his senses. 

And one that probably doesn’t even understand what he’s saying. Even if Bam knows he loves Khun, he can’t say it right now, even if they almost kissed a few hours back, he can’t say it. Because he knows that Khun is going to forget– and he wants him to remember, he wants to be able to stay in Khun’s mind as a fond memory painted with stardust. Mortalized for everyone but timeless to Khun.

 At his side, Khun’s breaths start slowing down, and before Bam could think more about it, Khun’s dead asleep in his arms. Not that it bothers him, but after Khun screamed he loved Bam in a drunken stupor, he can’t help but want some time alone with his ever-growing thoughts and doubts.

However, when he takes a second to look at said man, he is mesmerised by his beauty that he doesn’t mind anymore. Khun could take everything from him – his time, his thoughts, his heart – and Bam would be okay with it all.

The blue-haired man looks so calm, it’s like those blink or you’ll miss it moments in life. Unconsciously Khun searches for Bam and his warmth, searching for their shared warmth that’s becoming more familiar with every day that passes by.

 Bam thinks of himself as wicked when a thought passes his head, telling him that this is their place in the universe.

That night Bam dreams of blue and golden mixing together in a watercolour of stolen memories and unsaid feelings.

Interlude Three: 

rooms, secrets, and a warning.  

“Turtle!”

“Rak? What are you doing in my room? It’s six in the morning?” 

However, the sun was up, which usually meant that Rak was all charged to start his day. 

“I’m going to leave for a few hours today, and I fucking hope that when I come back, you have patched up things with blue turtle.” 

“What?”

Things were happening too fast, and Bam was sure he had a little hangover. Fast like that, images of last night came rushing to him, tequila haunting his, otherwise very chill, morning. 

“Good luck, Black turtle.”

His best friend said it with a father-like tone, and it was too early for this nonsense. 

“Rak, wait –“ 

But just like that, Rak disappeared, leaving more questions than answers. 

Wait, if Rak was in his room then– 

He had seen Khun sleeping next to him. And he hasn’t said a thing. 

Rak knew too many things for his own good. 

Four: Ran and matchmaking going better than anticipated. [Alternatively: Bam, Khun, and what happened after eyes are opened and waitings are done.] 

Back in the apartment, Bam thinks he has never seen the world so bright and clear. 

Talking with Ran – or rather, being forced to have a talk with the younger Khun – has opened a lot of windows in his mind. He knew, of course, he knew. Ran has set up a new perspective about his feelings with Khun and how they may be reciprocated. 

Still. 

He had been held hostage by his own fears, making him unable to see what was in front of him. If what Ran says is real, then –. However, a little voice in his head screams, “No! It’s false. You still have to wait.” 

But he’s done waiting.    

Well, not exactly. 

Bam doesn’t know how he is going to tell his best friend he's in love with him, but hey, he’s trying. That should be enough… right? 

Too much thinking makes his head spin like a wheel. Maybe he should talk about it with Rak later; he would probably know what to do. 

From his spot on the couch, Bam can sense the curiosity emanating from a certain blue-head. He’s pacing the living room back and front, trying to contact Rak. (Probably just to scream at him for taking too long to come back home.) At his tenth call, Khun gives up and comes into his point of view a few seconds after, asking a question that only leads to Bam’s internal panic. 

“What did you and Ran talk about?” Something in his mind starts playing red sirens at full volume, his mind at maximum speed trying to find an excuse good enough to use. One thing’s for sure though, he’s going to keep his mouth shut. It doesn’t matter how beautiful Khun’s eyes are; he’s not telling shit. 

“Nothing in particular…” he starts, and no, he’s not falling for that bewitching thing Khun’s eyebrows do every time he wants to uncover something. No sir. He’s not falling. (The problem is that by now, he is probably six feet underground.) 

“We talked about school and if he needed some help, nothing more.” 

Khun chuckles, “You know you’re a bad liar, right?” 

Well fuck. 

Indigo eyes are looking at him with mirth; and, if this had happened before his talk with Ran, he would most likely tell himself to not read between the lines, to brush away all the feelings it may contain. He would tell himself that whatever that was behind those eyes was pure platonic feelings between best friends. 

But now. 

Now he knows that there is no reason to try and hide the inevitable truth. There’s no excuse to try and delude himself. Behind the mirth, there is adoration; behind the shining glitter blue, there is longing. And Bam’s lucky enough to know that those eyes hide love. 

“Are you planning to tell me anytime soon? Or should I just go and blackmail Ran into spilling the truth?” 

Realizing that he spent too much time staring at Khun – more than usual, he may add – Bam blinks a few times trying to get back to the world and make sense to whatever the hell Khun just spoke about. 

Was blackmailing being involved? 

“Please don’t blackmail your little brother.” 

Because if you do, then said younger brother is going to blackmail me back, and I have enough with one Khun. 

“You’re too much of a softy.” Khun says pettily, “As his older brother, I should especially blackmail him, it’s in our veins. Family heirloom and all that jazz.” 

“Yeah, yeah, at this point, it’s in your genetic code to blackmail each other. Even sweet Kiseia is deep down into that hell.”

“That witch is the best of us.”  

“Don’t call your little sister witch, or I’ll have to fight with you since she’s my favourite Khun.” 

“Traitor.” 

“Family heirloom.” 

“Ughh,” Khun groans, falling effortlessly next to Bam and into the couch. He rests his head on Bam’s shoulder, not making any noise, just silently breathing next to him. Bam stops functioning for a moment because if this had happened a few hours ago, he would just take it as something best friends do, nothing more, and now – 

But Khun is close, and Bam is brushing some strands from his face, and it all feels too delicate, too domestic, too intimate , and if Khun is done waiting then, this could mean more. 

“Hey, Khun?” 

“Mmhm?” the blue-haired man humbles sleepily. 

“Let’s go to sleep,” he decides to say, partially because it is easier to escape than to face the music, partially because it’s been a long day. 

He moves away from his comfortable place on the couch, but Khun stays there, too lazy to move a finger. And there’s something else there, something that Bam knows too well from other experiences. 

“If you don’t tell me, I’m sleeping in my room tonight.” Khun suddenly says, making Bam stop in his tracks and look back at the couch with a dumbfounded expression. 

“Are you seriously using that against me?” 

Khun shrugs, “I’m a Khun. It’s in my veins.” 

“Fair. But you are an absolute child.”

“And you, an absolute bad liar.” 

But nope, no matter how cold the bed was going to be, Bam was not telling shit.  

“Have fun sleeping on your own.” Khun says and Bam goes back to the couch, coming face to face with the object of his – as of right now – nightmares. (But even as a nightmare, Khun looks as delightful as a daydream.) 

“Have fun sleeping with Rak’s snores.” He doubles back, only to have Khun smile at him with ambiguity. 

And oh. There it is again, the tension they had to live with the past few months, years even. It’s a magnetic force, pulling them together, and Bam is not afraid anymore. Perhaps he never was. 

“Have fun trying to make use of your stupidly large bed.”

“Have fun trying to make Rak not kill you in your sleep once he sees that you didn’t buy him his favourite snack.”

Khun fakes a betrayal gasp, pointing at him in disbelief and fun. 

“That was your fault.” 

“Yeah, and who’s Rak going to believe? Me or you?” 

“You are such a – “ 

Khun stops talking once he realises their faces are too close for comfort, just like last night at their group reunion. However, this time there isn’t any annoying friend spying on them, and this time Bam knows Khun is ready, and Rak is still nowhere to be found, but – 

But he wants to make a plan. Khun deserves a plan. 

So, he backs off, reaching a hand instead for Khun to take. 

“Let’s go to sleep.” 

And, of course, Khun takes it. 

It’s like the universe knows how to meddle because it is in that exact moment when Rak decides to reappear. 

“Turtles! I’m home!” He barges into the flat in a usual Rak way, giving things a feeling of normality. But Bam is too focused on Khun and the way he laughs alongside Rak's antics to be annoyed at his other best friend and his capacity to ruin private moments. 

Once Khun is in the bathroom, Rak comes closer to Bam, banana in hand, and just looks at him expressionlessly. “You are stupid, Black turtle.” 

That’s enough to make Bam aware that Rak knows way too much – has probably known long before them. And Bam doesn’t even know what he’s going to do, but Rak is here, and he is also his best friend and can offer comfort. So, he speaks cluelessly and unsure.  

“I have a plan.” 

But he doesn’t, and Rak understands, and between all, deep inside, Bam knows Rak is going to kill him for taking too long. 

Interlude Four: 

Rak, turtles, and stupid metaphors.   

Rak was pacing back and front in the kitchen; this time, they were the only ones there since Khun had gone to the library to study. Bam couldn’t help but feel a little threatened by every step Rak took. 

“Uh… Rak?” 

His friend turned to look at him, red eyes flashing fire mixed with too many emotions Bam didn't want to name right now. 

“You have to turtle up, black turtle!”

He blinked a few times because he wasn’t sure he heard well. 

“But… uh,” Rak’s eyes weren’t helping, studying him meticulously. “I’m not a turtle!”

And there it was, the annoyed Rak look. Oh, Bam was in for a long lecture. He tried texting Khun and asking for help.

“Exactly! Turtles are braver than you will ever be.” 

“Rak, I said I needed help, not that I wanted you to scream at me.”

“I’m just telling you the truth.” 

“How on earth do you want me to be more like a turtle?”

“Because turtles aren’t silent! Contrary to popular beliefs, they make noise, and you should too. Tell the truth to blue turtle! I’m tired of your pining.”

“Hey, you still love us.” 

“I don’t –“ 

His phone vibrated with a message from Khun: 

"You decided to stay there, that’s your problem." 

Five: Wangnan and a sleepy confession. [Alternatively: Bam, Khun, and the ride home.]

“Would you like to go to the beach?”  

“Bam – “ 

“How about camping?” 

“Are you seriously–?” 

“What about hiking?” 

“No– “ 

But whatever Khun was saying fell into deaf ears as Bam was too focused on finding the best place; granted, he was also tired, but a large portion of his mind was occupied by the bluehead. 

He doesn’t recall when exactly he left the library. Wherever he is now, it has a familiar song playing by, and the view is ever changing, filled with red and green lights. But Khun is there, and that’s enough information to know that this place is safe. 

“Bam, are you even listening to me?” 

Oh, so it wasn’t a song. 

With that call of his name, a great, magnificent, perfect idea came to his mind. The mental image of a lake, the mountains, and a boat, appeared like a shooting star. He had finally found a place Khun would love.  

Or hate, but that was depending on the weather.

“Let’s go fishing!” 

At his side, he could feel Khun whispering in a done tone, but he was tired, and he had finally found a good place. Now, he had to check some final details with Wangnan and Ewha to work and find the place to eat. 

“Bam–“ 

He moved his head, sleepily searching for the deep blue sea. 

Before he could find them, his surroundings stopped moving, and when he finally looked at Khun, he was bathed by red lights. Khun, who was too beautiful for his own good, had his hair in a messy bun that made Bam’s heart race a marathon in a few breaths. 

“What?” he said, definitely out of it, not trusting himself to speak more. 

“Sleep, You need sleep,” Khun said softly, running a hand through his hair. Bam sighed at the touch, searching for more of the warmth only Khun could bring, but it was long gone. The object of his desires was again looking at the front, with both hands far away from Bam. Why was he looking at the front? 

Anyways! Khun had said he needed to sleep, but Bam was pretty sure he had a lot of energy, and he was definitely not sleepy. Khun was also a hypocrite since he never slept when he had important stuff to do, and Bam was a hundred percent convinced that this plan was high on the list. 

“I don’t need sleep. I’m perfectly fine!” His mind could still go; he was feeling fit, in perfect conditions, never better. Then, he yawned. Well, maybe he was a little bit sleepy. 

Only a little. 

Khun laughed – a glorious sound he may add – “You don’t even know where we are.” 

If Bam was being honest, he didn’t have a single clue of his surroundings, everything was fuzzy, and his mind didn’t bother asking, but if Khun was there, then they were- 

“Home. I’m at home.”

At his side, his best friend chuckled; he nudged Khun’s shirt, trying to earn his attention. 

“Was I right?” 

Khun had that smile, that specific smile that could cause global warming and make you have dragons in your stomach, one that was only directed at him. Bam loved it so much. 

“Not even a little.  We’re in the car.” 

He bluffed. “Close enough.” 

“Whatever you say, sleepyhead.”

Even though Khun was focused on driving, he still had the chance to squeeze his hand. But he was a man on a mission, and not even a squeeze of a hand would distract him from knowing the most fundamental part of his research. 

“So, where would you like to go?” 

Khun groaned, exasperated with him. Bam smiled innocently, channelling his puppy eyes. 

“I’m driving.” 

Oh.

Maybe he had been wrong. Maybe Khun was evading this talk because he didn’t want to do this. Maybe he wasn’t ready. Maybe Ran was wrong – this was bad, oh he completely fucked up. 

“How ‘bout you ask me later?” 

Oh!

So Khun wasn’t that opposed to the idea; this was good, he could work with it.  

Happily, he started plotting again. Meanwhile, Khun started mumbling, voice a soft caress that felt like falling all over again. Bam was in the clouds, mind pacified. The voice was like a waterfall, falling in a constant beat that was enough to lull him to sleep. He didn’t protest there. 

Later, when he was finally at his apartment, sleeping near Khun, he couldn’t believe that this was his life now. He never thought about sharing so many things with only one person. So much had happened in his life, but the only constant in it were his feelings. He loved Khun yesterday, he loved him today, and he will love him tomorrow. That’s how things were. 

When Khun thinks Bam is sleeping, he whispers near his ear, mouth almost close, pressing to brown hair. However, he didn’t consider the possibility of Bam being a little conscious, or perhaps he did but found out he didn’t care. 

“I don’t care where we go. If it’s just you and me, then I’ll be happy. Of course I’ll say yes, Bam.”  

+1 

As it was bound to happen, his plan failed. He didn’t mean for this to occur, obviously , but this was ridiculous.

Every time they would get ready to go to sleep, they would have a little conversation. It was a usual thing they did, just talking about how their days had gone; or about how Rak was pressuring them into watching one boring documentary about wildlife. It was just some late-night conversation. Nevertheless, the little things sounded so magical if they were with Khun. 

However, there was something about this night that made Bam nervous, little butterflies flying around his stomach, making him completely aware of all his surroundings and Khun's presence next to him. Tomorrow was the big day. Tomorrow his plan was going into action. 

It had been two whole weeks of Bam trying to decide with the help of a growing-more-desperate-by-the-second Rak, an irritated Ran, and two over the top (read: Wangnan and Ewha) members of sweet and sour for his plan to be finally ready. 

And now here he was, watching a movie with Khun and his trashy commentaries on how the leads were absolute cowards, trying to repress the butterflies in his stomach that were becoming more and more like angry dragons. This, whatever they had, was going to be real in a few hours. That was nerve-wracking as hell. 

(Well, only if Khun wanted for it to be, but Bam didn’t dwell into this mass of uncertainty. Right now, he had Khun at his side, and for that moment, it was enough.) 

There was only one thing that made it more stressful: Khun was clueless about this whole plan. Bam didn’t know how he managed to maintain it a secret for so long – he took too much pride in that fact – but here they were. Maybe he deserved a medal; for finally being able to hide something from his best friend. And Khun said he was an awful liar.

He looked at the hour, and shit, it was already 3 am. If he wanted for everything to go according to the plan, they had to be up at 6. Khun was already drowsy, so he had some sort of advantage there. The gold point of that night was that the blue-eyed man was leaning on Bam, and Bam was the happiest man alive. 

The film was ending soon, he noticed as the main character finally gained the courage to stand up against the villain, and Khun, being the best commentariat out there, said that they weren’t so bad after all. When the credits rolled, he tried to move back to his side of the bed, but a hand stopped him mid-track. 

“Stay,” Khun mumbled, too tired to say more. But it was enough.

“You know I’m staying. There’s no reason to tell me otherwise.” He reminded the other man in a reproachable tone. 

“Stay.” 

The way Khun had spoken made Bam all warm inside, “You’re cute when you’re sleepy.”

 “I’m not sleepy, but I accept the compliment.”

“Whatever you say, sleepyhead.” With that last statement, he flopped down to bed, and instantly Khun was near him, his breathing reaching his neck. 

“Don’t use my words against me.” 

“Yeah, yeah, just sleep, okay?” 

“Bam?” Khun whispered as if telling him a secret. 

“Mmh?” He was closing his eyes, ready to hear whatever Khun wanted to tell him. It was going to probably be some silly stuff. 

“I know about your plan.” 

Well fuck. 

He opened his eyes at light’s velocity, sitting in a surprise stupor, looking at Khun with a full-blown panicked expression. How on earth did he find out? Bam was pretty sure he had been the most careful man alive, so how? 

It was probably Wangnan. 

It was most definitely Wangnan. 

He was going to have a little talk with him in a few hours, friend to friend. And then he was going to bury himself six feet underneath the ground because this was too much embarrassment for him to take.

Sensing his distress, Khun laughed. 

“In case you were wondering, nobody told me.” 

His best friend – were they even friends still? If Khun knew about it and didn’t say a word. For all Bam knew, he could have been rejected gently– was still on the bed, in a starfish position, face in an expressionless façade. Seeing that Bam was panicking, he rose slowly to meet him. 

“How?” 

“Well,” and at the same time Khun started talking, Bam started plotting different ways he could have a lovely talk to the person who ruined the whole thing. “You told me.” 

Oh well, that was unexpected; he wasn’t sure he could beat himself up. 

 “ What?” 

Khun got near him to brush some hair away from Bam’s face, and something about this everyday action made it far more intimate now that Khun knew that Bam had planned to confess to him. Holy shit, Khun knew about this the whole time. 

“You told me a few weeks ago… that night at the library, remember?”

Well, he did, in fact, not remember a single bit of what happened after 10 pm that night, but still, he had some faith that his sleep-deprived brain would handle the situation better, and not make him spill everything.  

Looks like he still had to have a talk with Wangnan and Ehwa for not telling him this. 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” 

Khun smiled cryptically, and Bam fights his subconsciousness to not get lost in it. 

“Well, I wanted to wait for you, but you are always late.” 

“Hey!” 

Only then Bam realised something, Khun was waiting for him. Khun had been waiting for him this whole time. 

He’s done waiting. Ran’s voice sounds somewhere in his head. 

 Oh. 

 “I was… I was going to do it tomorrow – technically today.” 

Khun’s hand stops moving on his face; the blue-haired man looks like he lost some air. 

“Well, I don’t know if you know, but it’s today.” 

Indigo searches golden in the dark night. Feeling drawn to it like a magnet, Bam follows, plans be damned. Khun is closer, more than ever before, and this is overwhelming. Wavy blue hair framing beautiful eyes that seem to shine under the faint light of the moon. 

Under the moonlight, Bam looks into blue, and he can’t help but fall in love all over again. 

The hand still in his face moves, it’s warmer, and Khun is a breath away. How did this happen in the first place? 

Oh right, his amazing sleep-deprived brain had spilled the guts a few weeks ago. 

Bam was inside a spell, some sick trick of the universe telling him that this was, after all, everything he ever wanted. 

“Bam…” Khun whispered again, eyes meeting in an ancient dance, “Can I kiss you?” 

And that was the last straw; Bam closed the almost non-existent gap between both and kissed him. 

He kissed Khun. 

And it was so different from what he ever dreamt about. 

Bam thought that the moment he kissed Khun for the first time, he would feel fireworks. But no, there weren’t any. They were just Khun and Bam, alone in Bam’s room, silence and the night covering them. There wasn’t even a single star accompanying them. In the dark of the room, Bam was without a single breath. 

Their lips met effortlessly, like a dance they knew from memory, something only he and Khun would know. It was something unequivocally delicate, powerful; it wasn’t like opening a new chapter in their lives, it was more of them acknowledging they had made it past the friendship chapter years ago, and now here they were. 

It was a simple kiss, yet it was as if it was always meant to be there. It was years’ worth of helpless pining, of held breaths and hidden emotions, of unsaid words and small actions. It was the culmination and the start, it was – 

Complete. 

After what felt like countless lifetimes, Khun broke away from the kiss, his warmness leaving with him and making Bam crave it more than ever. He was smiling; a beautiful genuine smile was there. And it was directed at him. 

“I,” Khun started whispering again, “I wanted to do that for a while.” 

And Bam laughed because he knew. Of course he knew, because after all, Bam wasn’t all that blind, and Khun was Khun, and the only reason they took so long were unnecessary complications. It had been years of them tiptoeing the idea of a relationship, and it only took a movie and one brave move. 

It was ironic. 

“I wanted to do that for years,” he replied, but there was more to it, behind those words, there was a confession of useless pining with emotions running rampant. And Khun always understood. 

“Should we do it again then?” Khun was near him, and Bam was a breath away to feel the dragons in his stomach flying around one more time. 

“We should.” 

It happened again, and Bam still felt the same; it would take nothing to get used to this. Khun passed his hands through his hair, and Bam almost stopped working. This time, he was the one who got away first, but it was okay because he got the luck to watch his best friend with the eyes closed and a smile that could only be seen in art museums. 

Wait. 

He hasn’t confessed yet. Technically. 

Sensing his distress, Khun looked at him, silently asking if everything was okay.

“I had a plan.” 

Khun blinked a few times before laughing again. 

“Yes, yes you did, but you’re an awful liar.” 

“I’ve been planning it for weeks.” 

Khun pecked him on the lips, lyrical smile and indigo eyes laughing at him with adoration, and Bam kissed him again, just for the sake of kissing him again, and because he now could. Yet, he wanted to say I love you properly, just like he had planned. 

“if it’s any consolation, I only knew you had a plan, but I didn’t know what said plan was.”

To hell with the plan. Khun was here, Khun was real, and Khun was everything. 

“I love you.” 

Khun stopped laughing; he was looking at him in shock and amazement. Pink lips in a round shape, surprise dancing through his features, but his eyes – 

His eyes told a million and one stories. They were clear, just like the sky, and oh so beautiful.

“I love you, and I had a whole elaborate plan just to tell you this, but it's three in the morning, and there’s nothing I ever wanted to tell you so desperately.” 

Khun is cautious as always, slowly, coming near him just to rest his head on his shoulder. 

“Well, it’s a good thing you were always bad at plans.” He says, slowly moving his hands so he could grab Bam’s hands. Bam feels it coming even before Khun says it, “I love you too, Bam.” 

And there it was, the culmination of everything. But it didn’t feel like it; because loving Khun was a constant, something he did since they met. Bam loved Khun in kindergarten, he loved Khun in high school, he loved him in college, he loved it even when he would burn food in the kitchen, he loved him when he was mad, he loved every single facet of Khun, and that was the most universal truth for him. 

They stayed there, sitting in bed, hugging and holding hands. Just them in their bubble, with Rak's snores coming from the other side of the hallway. 

Then it hit him. Maybe it wasn’t too late for his precious plan, and he still hadn’t asked Khun to be his boyfriend. (but after kissing and saying I love you, he thought it was almost obvious.) 

He disentangled fast from Khun, earning a confused “Bam?” from him. 

“It isn’t too late.” 

“What are you even talking about?” 

“The night is almost over.”

“It’s almost four in the morning, what – “ 

“Exactly.” He went fast to his closet, trying to find clothes, “hurry up Khun.” 

“Bam, what the hell are you–“

“I didn’t spend weeks planning this for nothing.”  He threw some clothes into Khun’s face, which was received with a grunt and a questioning glance. 

“I – but you already – what?” 

“Khun, come on.” Bam was practically begging. 

“Fine. I didn’t think I would pull an all-nighter today but okay, let’s do it.” 

Just like that, they move out of bed, in old pajamas, they circle around each other, searching for coats and the car keys. 

While searching for them, he couldn’t help but sneak glances at Khun, he thought that things would be a little awkward after that scene a few moments ago, but they weren’t. It was natural; it was real, there was nothing to change, just some things to acknowledge. He hadn’t changed, and Khun hadn’t changed; they were still themselves, and now they had nothing to hide. It felt right, this was real, and this was happening. 

Once in the car, Bam drove in the direction he had in his head for the past few days. 

“So, where are we going?” 

Nope, he was not going to fall for this. He was not going to answer and risk that whole element of surprise going to waste. But trying to ignore Khun is harder than it seems, especially when he’s touching his hand inside the car.

“Bam,” Khun asks again. 

“Yes?” He failed. 

“Where are we going?”

“I think you know?” half a truth may be better in this case. 

“If I knew, why would I be asking, love?” 

Ex-fucking-cuse me. 

Bam was lucky that they were in a red light because he had lost any sense of realism. Khun called him love, and that was something Bam had been dreaming unconsciously of since high school. 

“You called me love?” he almost choked out the words, gaining a funny glance from Khun. 

This time though, Khun didn’t shy away from it – he didn’t make up excuses about his family nor change the topic. Instead, he gave Bam something of an I-know-what-effect-I-have-on-you look, which was funny considering he was the one to initiate this whole thing.

“Yeah, I always wanted to do that, do you mind?” 

Oh, he was adorable. 

“You can call me whatever you want. I don’t mind.” And Bam was no longer falling; he was deep down below ground. 

“Well then, love.” 

In between exchanges, they manage to reach their destination. The nearer they were to the point, the more Bam’s palms started to sweat; even though he already knew the feelings of his co-pilot, he was nervous. 

“Why are we on the viewpoint?” Was the first thing Khun asked once he got out of the car, blue eyes shining quizzically in the dark. 

The sun wasn’t up yet; even though it was dawn, people were nowhere to be seen. It was like if the city had cooperated to be alone with them. Two ghosts, the sky, and the whole town in front of them. 

“You know I had a plan, a fool-proof one, but then you came and kissed me, and all my hard work went to trash.” 

“Noted, next time I won’t kiss you,” Khun answered with complete pettiness.

Bam chuckled, looking at the sky and how it was getting clear every second. 

“You know I didn’t mean it like that, but seriously, I had a plan.” 

At his side Khun let out an exasperated sigh, “We never did things according to plans, and you want to start now?” 

He kissed his cheek playfully, “You’re right.” 

“And you are a bad liar.” 

“And I am a bad liar.” 

“Good.” 

Moving, Bam reached the closest point to the city, Khun following his steps, “You see that?” he tried to point out a specific building, trying to guide blue eyes into it. 

“Yeah? But why are you showing me that?”

“Because,” he took a deep breath, “that was where we met.” 

“Are you seriously pointing at kindergarten,” Khun snickered, “why?” 

“Shhh,” he laughed, “listen to me first.” 

And so, Bam pointed to every spot that had some meaning for them. The park they went to as kids, the grocery store they always went to, the coffee shop a few blocks away from their apartment, the library, and so on. Khun followed in awe and curiosity, holding Bam’s hand out of instinct; even if his plan went to trash, this was even better because they weren’t hiding, and Khun was still holding onto him like a lifeline. 

“And finally, there.” 

“Are you pointing high school? We had a big fight there, don’t you remember? Rak almost killed us, why is it the last point?” 

“Well, the reason is,” and Bam makes sure they were looking at each other, “that was when I knew I was in love with you.”  

 Khun sighed with fondness, “way to leave a man speechless, Bam.” He moved his hands so they could be nesting Bam’s face. “But it’s okay, because that’s when I realised I was in love with you too.” 

“So, we’re even?” 

“We’re even.” 

Bam kissed his hands, tenderly, slowly, because they had shared feelings in secret for enough years. This was how things had to go. Both of them now adults, leaving behind the kids they once were. 

“Since I met you, I knew you were going to be someone special in my life, then you became my best friend and the person who understands me the most,” Bam started. 

“Even better than Rak?” Khun whispered with a smirk. 

He frowns in thought, “Maybe at the same level as Rak.”

“Hey.” Khun giggled. 

“You are the person I was always searching for; even when we're together, I always want to follow you. After all, you are the person who I’m in love with. I think I was, I am, and I’ll always be captivated by you, and I want to spend my life with you, of course only if you want for it to be.” 

Seeing as Khun wasn’t saying anything, he continued, “We can start as boyfriends, and we’ll go from there.” He finished with a smirk, gaining a dancing smile from Khun. 

“Are you sure you want me?” 

“Are you sure you want me?"

“Oh god, you’re going to stick with me forever then.” 

“Noted. Can you stick with me forever too?”

“You are an idiot. My idiot.” 

Khun kissed him impatiently, but it wasn’t a proper kiss since they were smiling so much, but it didn’t matter. It was enough. 

At that moment, it was only them, the city, the sky, and their feelings. They would care about their friend’s reactions later, but that moment was just theirs. They were always meant to be together, to meet and intertwine their lives. There would always be a universe where they’re Bam and Khun, and that was enough. 

They were always meant to be captivated by each other. 

Everything was as it was always meant to be. 

Epilogue 

Bam didn’t know what to expect when they opened up the door of their apartment, but it wasn’t anything likelike what he ended up finding out. 

There, in the living room, were his friends. Endorsi didn’t look so happy to be woken up, coffee mug in her hands, and a sleeping Anak at her side. Shibisu was sprawled out on the floor, a shit-eating grin adorning his face. Hatz was at the other side of the room, lazily going through his phone. Ran was talking in hushed tones with Rak, which was no good for any sane person. 

 “Just friends, my ass,” Shibisu spoke, breaking the silence and pointing out at their intertwined hands, Bam could feel Khun planning different types of murders at his side. 

“I fucking knew it.” Endorsi said while waking up Anak, “you two are morons for making me waste my morning.” 

Bam stepped in, looking at Ran asking for answers. Ran, Khun like he was, shrugged. “Does this mean I finally have a brother?” 

“You, dumbass, I’m already your brother.” Khun talked, looking at the verge of screaming. 

“Bam is my favourite, though.” 

“You little –“ 

“Anyways,” Bam cut in to prevent chaos, “how did you find out about uh…everything?” 

Hatz looked at him bored, “Ran told Anak, Anak told Endorsi, Endorsi told me, and I told Isu.” 

“They grow up so much!” Isu cried out of nowhere, “Can I call dibs on best man, Khun, my love?” 

Oh shoot, Bam could feel his face heat up. 

“Isu.” 

“Yes, Khun, my love.” 

“Three seconds.”

“Wait–“ 

“One.” 

“Khun, you can’t seriously–“ 

“Two.”

“We brought breakfast for you!” 

“Three.” 

Watching as Khun gave a lecture to their friends, Bam felt all warm inside. If this was going to be his life from now on, he didn’t mind.