Work Text:
He was just gonna have to confront Connor, he was just gonna do it. He’d been seeing less and less of him recently which was impressive since they both lived and worked together. No normal person would commit that much time to their job. And yeah, Connor wasn’t exactly a normal person to begin with but he was a person, and it didn’t seem healthy to work that many full days in a row, android stamina aside.
As far as Hank was concerned Connor might as well have been living at the DPD office, and if it was something to do with him then hell, he just had to find out and make it right.
He waited until the end of work that day whilst the office was quiet and Connor was just finishing up his reports.
“Hey, you got a sec?”
“Sure Lieutenant, what do you need?” he answered, gaze still fixed to his screen.
“Connor, I’m concerned about the amount of extra shifts you’re taking.”
Connor's gaze shifted briefly to him and then back to the screen again, such a minor tell, but he knew that meant Connor was uncomfortable.
"I don't exactly need to rest as often as my co-workers," he said, still taping away at his screen.
"I know that but, I can't help but feel something's up. I'm glad you're back on the job but you've been working pretty much solidly for a fortnight since you started."
Connor stopped and turned his attention to Hank. He seemed to be formulating what to say, and after a few more seconds his hand shot into his jacket pocket to fiddle with something inside.
Just as the silence started to get to Hank, Connor spoke up.
"It's the only thing I feel comfortable doing," his face was completely placid but his LED spinning yellow to red to yellow again.
"Shit Connor, I'm sorry. I was gonna try and bring it up at home but you haven't been back for three days."
"Can I finish this up and talk to you in the car? I'll be five minutes."
"Sure, I'll meet you out there."
Sure enough, exactly five minutes later Connor tapped on the glass of the window on the passenger side door. Hank unlocked the car, letting Connor in to sit down.
As soon as he was settled in his seat he reached for his jacket pocket again, this time he pulled the object out, his coin, and started to roll it along his knuckles as he spoke, carrying on the conversation exactly where he'd left off, "When I'm here it's comfortable, I never meant to work this many consecutive shifts, but I found that I only had clarity when I was working a case. I crave it Hank, when I can use my pre-construction software effectively, or if I'm finding leads, and chasing perps. It brings me a focus that's so powerful that I don't have to think about… Well, everything else."
It made so much sense. Hank chided himself, Connor was experiencing something unique to androids and even more specific to himself in this new and differently fucked up world, of course it wasn’t anything to do with him, how could he be that self centered?
At least he had some measure of comparison, he was already an expert at ignoring his feelings after all. He took a deep breath and responded, “Connor, you can only do this for so long, at some point you’re gonna have to face your feelings otherwise you’ll end up burning out. Trust me, you can’t hide from it forever.”
“I know,” Connor whispered.
“I want you to know that I’ll listen, whenever you need me, and I know you don’t want to burden me. I know. But honestly I’d rather help you carry all this shit you’re shouldering even if it’s difficult because,” —Several reasons flip though his mind; Because I’d have been dead without you. Because you give my life meaning. Because… I love you Connor. Instead he settles on— “I care about you Connor, and I’m here for you.”
Connor stays silent, deep in thought, or just simply processing. After a long pause in the conversation he speaks in a low, cracked voice, “I've clocked off already, I'll come home tonight and I'll try to talk."
"It doesn't have to be everything at once."
"I know, thank you Hank,"
"Hey don't thank me yet, wanna get going?"
Connor nods.
Despite the relief Hank felt the car journey was tense, neither of them wanted to break the silence. They were both waiting for the safety of home.
Once they were inside and settled together on the couch Hank prompted Connor to talk, asking him if he could start with something small and work his way up.
As Connor spoke there was a certain restraint to how he was expressing himself. So extremely measured, as if he was moments away from revealing what was really bothering him but always stopping short of what that might be.
Hank wished he knew why this was, or how he could get Connor to open up more, but it wasn’t going to happen quickly. Patience was the best gift he could give right now, so he stuck to it.
He sat by Connor as he listed in detail all the countless grievances he had experienced, whether they seemed insignificant to Hank didn’t matter, he listened anyway.
And he kept listening as often and attentively as he could. Maybe, some day in the future he’d know what issue was truly at the heart of his problems, but for now, he did everything in his power to help Connor. Help him feel like he truly had a friend, a confidant, someone who would be there for him unconditionally. Someone who would never let him suffer alone. It was all he could do and he hoped dearly that it was enough.