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Once again, the space next to him on the bed is empty when he wakes up in the morning and this time, Taehyung just sighs before kicking the covers off of him and getting up. This wasn't the first time he was waking up this way and it wouldn't be the last.
He was just going to have to get used to it. It was going to be a recurring fact after all.
The curtains were drawn shut the way he had left it the previous night and he got up to his feet to pull them back. Sunlight immediately burst through into the room and he flinched, shutting his eyes in reflex to the sudden brightness.
He sat there for a while, letting himself adjust, before finally getting up and stretching. His legs were numb from the position he had slept in and he stumbled across the room towards the bathroom fumbling with the light switch before managing to turn it on and stepping in.
There was clothes thrown over the laundry basket, overflowing due to him having not have done the laundry in weeks. Taehyung stared at all the clothes stuffed in it and fallen around it before giving his back to the offending pile and walking over to the bathtub. He set the warm water to fill the tub and began to remove his pajamas. Well, actually it was just a random pair of pants he had fallen asleep in.
Throwing them to a side along with the rest of his dirty clothes, he slowly stepped into the water. He hissed as the water ended up being slightly too hot, fumbling with the taps, but slid in the rest of the way regardless.
Laying in the still rising water, Taehyung watched it rise slowly until it reached the brim and began to overflow. Even then, he didn't turn off the tap, letting the water spill away wastefully.
Just like the tears spilling down his cheeks.
He sniffled as he bit his lips, trying not to let out the sob threatening to leave him. He had done enough crying the past few days to last him through months. He really didn't want to cry any longer.
His eyes felt way too dry and his nose was stuffed in a very irritating manner. He had yet to see his face in the mirror but he was sure his face was all bloated and his eyes puffy. He was not by any means a pretty crier. He had said that once.
As the memory of the source behind all his current despair surfaced, Taehyung felt more tears prick at his eyes. Giving up once again, just like all the days before this and possibly even in the days to come, he submerged himself under the water, causing even more water to spill over, and just, screamed.
He screamed his heart out where no one could hear it but himself. And even then, it was unclear.
The bubbles burst at the surface and was immediately followed by Taehyung, gasping for breath as he sobbed violently. He reached behind him to close the taps, hand bumping into an item close to them and making it plop into the tub near his arm.
Through his tears he stared at the bath bomb he had no recollection of putting there. He must have taken it out sometime earlier this week, like he always did when he wanted to relax, but have forgotten about it when he had received the news.
The bath bomb had diffused through the water and had turned it into a pretty blue color, particles twinkling in it like stars in space. With a jolt, Taehyung realized it was a space themed one and he felt his heart skip a beat.
He loved the outer space.
Was obsessed with it.
Made it his life's dream to travel through each and every galaxy in the universe. Some dream that turned out to be.
So lost in his thoughts was he, that when the voice called out for the first time he didn't hear it. It called out to him again and this time, he heard it loud and clear.
Taehyungie!
The ghost of a voice called out to him and he jerked his head towards the bathroom door. The call sounding like it came from his bedroom. He stared at the exit and shook his head slowly.
That was impossible. He couldn't have had heard that. He must be going mad.
Taehyungie? Where are you baby?
Taehyung gasped as the voice called out to him again and almost slipped as he rushed to get out of the tub way too fast and way too carelessly, forgetting that he had let the water spill over earlier and slipping on the tiles. He picked himself off the ground and grabbed his towel off the rack wrapping it around him and stepping out of the fogged up bathroom and back into his bedroom.
The sight waiting for him left him breathless.
There was a man sitting on his bed, his hair an ebony black in sharp contrast to his fair skin. He wore a white shirt, the material pulled tight over his well defined chest muscles and wide shoulders. His pants were well pressed and free of any wrinkles and he had a jacket draped over one arm.
His face was lit up in a cheeky smile, one Taehyung had loved since the very first day and once again, he began to feel the tell tale signs of tears welling up in his eyes.
This time in happiness.
“Hyung! You're here, you're here!” Taehyung sniffled as he staggered over to where the man sat. He plopped down near his feet and just stared at the kind face looking back at him lovingly before promptly bursting into tears. Little hiccups escaped him; a sign that he had cried himself straight out.
Why are you crying love?
The feeling of familiar fingers threading through his hair soothed him and he let himself lean into the touch. Taehyung shook his head, choosing not to say anything in reply to the question asked and looked up to face him with a wide smile. His teeth on full display and his eyes creased up like little moons, the way the older man loved.
“It was nothing hyung, it was nothing. Just, I think, there was a little mix-up and I was told the wrong news. It was nothing.”
The man let out a soft laugh and Taehyung just let the tinkling melody drape over himself like a comfort blanket, the sound feeling as what home should feel like. After all the crying he had done, the feeling was like an umbrella being lifted over his head during a particularly heavy downpour. Like receiving water when having had traveled through the desert for days without.
Well, since I'm back home after such a long time and all, shouldn't we do something? Go get dressed, I'll make us some breakfast.
Nodding eagerly, Taehyung got up and quickly dried himself. He skipped over towards the wardrobe and rummaged around before pulling out a pair of baggy sweatpants and a hoodie which was too large for him. It wasn't exactly his hoodie, but it wasn't like as if the owner would mind; considering that most of the time they wore each others clothes more than they wore their own.
Rubbing the towel through his damp hair one more time, he rushed out of the bedroom and down the stairs.
The smell of pancakes wafted from the kitchen and Taehyung followed his nose to get there. A sight he was quite familiar with greeted him and he felt a smile tug at his lips.
There he stood, apron around his waist and spatula in hand, humming along to a song on the radio as he flipped the pancake on the pan. His face was relaxed, a beam of sun entering through the open windows bouncing off his hair every time he moved and his smile soft, as he danced around the kitchen like he always loves to do.
Taehyung giggled as he tiptoed over silently and hugged the man around his waist. He chuckled as a laugh bubbled out of the other as he jumped slightly in surprise. He pressed a chaste kiss onto his cheeks before sitting down at the dining table.
Noticing the table wasn't set, he got back up to grab the plates and utensils. Grabbing a pair each, he sat back down just to admire the older as he danced around, freely and unrestrained like a little child.
The song on the radio changed to one with a rather romantic mood and the older turned around to wiggles his eyebrows at him, a rather mischievous grin on his face. Taehyung giggled as the others moves became more and more dramatic as he flung himself around with the lyrics and beat of the song.
Reminded of the pancakes rather abruptly when they started sizzling, the older dashed back to the stove and Taehyung just sat back and watched.
There was a pile of envelopes in a corner of the table that caught his eye and he picked them up, the bundle messy and jumbled. He clicked his tongue before beginning to go through them.
They were all bills and incorrectly sent mails and he quickly piled them up accordingly, meaning to put them back so they can be returned to the correct recipients. He put them to a side before reaching for the one at the very bottom. He frowned as he realized it was already opened.
“Hyung, did you open this one already?” Taehyung called out to the older who was now very focused on carefully stacking the pancakes on a plate.
Nope, I haven't been anywhere near that messy pile. I got to the cooking as soon as I came in. You know how I leave that stuff to you.
Taehyung chuckled as he remembered that fact. His hyung really didn't like going through the mail, something about it being way too tedious a task for someone as exciting as him. Taehyung would always reply by asking whether it meant he was boring. He would never get an answer back.
The song on radio changed to static as he pulled out the letter from its envelope, and promptly grinded to a stop as the memories flooded back.
Kim Seokjin his husband.
Kim Seokjin the ambitious astronaut.
Kim Seokjin the astronaut who had gone on his third mission to space.
Kim Seokjin the astronaut who had died when his space shuttle over-heated and fell apart.
Kim Seokjin his amazing husband who was no more.
His husband who was definitely not dancing in his kitchen and making him breakfast.
The silence of the kitchen was deafening as he sat in the darkness with the letters all around him.
The letters, they were condolence messages from his friends, not incorrectly addressed mail, he realized as the tears began to blur his sight once again.
There was no one dancing in his kitchen, there was no pancakes, no cheesy, romantic song, no rays of light through open windows, no nothing.
The feeling of despair overflowed and left him crippled. He had no more tears to cry. No more pain to spare.
There was nothing left to him but an empty husk of a man.
Seokjin had taken everything that ever made it worth living with him when he left. There was nothing left worth anything.
Just him.
He who was left behind as the only person he truly loved in this world left it for a better place.
Just him alone.
In the darkness of his kitchen that had contained light just seconds ago, Taehyung laid his head down on the table and cried.
No tears left him and no sadness did either, yet still he cried.
The tears of a broken man who could be put together no longer.
It'll all be alright my love. Everything would turn out just fine. I got you Taehyungie, I still have you. Always will.
Taehyung didn't bother to look up as the words floated around the room before fading out, but when a warmth pressed against his cheek he lifted his head up in surprise.
A glowing ball of light floated before him and he stared in wonder as it took the shape of a man. Pure light radiated from it and Taehyung squinted as the light came closer to him before scattering around him into little pieces. The shards lit up like stars in the night sky and Taehyung stared at them in awe.
They scattered through the air around him, pushing and pulling at each other, forming beautiful constellations, some familiar to him and others he saw for the first time.
Through it all, the largest piece moved closer towards him and he blinked in surprise as it rested on his forehead. He gasped as a tingle spread through his whole body, making it feel light, so, so light. Like as if he could float away if he wanted to.
He took in a ragged breath as a sound filled his hearing.
He dwells among us my child. Live well like he hopes you would, grow old like he wishes for you, and when it's time, come be with him among the stars.
With that all the little scattered stars vanished and all that was left behind was him.
Just him, but not alone. No. He could feel it.
The stars were watching over him.