Work Text:
2014
Jimin let out a sigh as he let his body sag against the wall, slowly letting it slide down until it finally met the floor. Him and the other members just got out of a meeting with some of the higher-ups within their company, including Bang PD.
He was really excited for the meeting beforehand, carrying false hopes that they were going to further discuss their upcoming comeback and album. The members have been working so hard on O!RUL8,2?, and were really putting their all in their next title track. These hopes came to a crashing halt once the meeting started, as the members were hit with the news that the company was going through some serious financial problems, and their days as BTS just might be coming to an abrupt end.
This isn’t fair.
That’s all his mind kept replaying over and over. They have been working so hard, and now they’re just supposed to be okay with the fact that it’s probably going to end?
Jimin shakes his head, willing the tears pooling in the corner of his eyes not to fall. He replays the faces of his fellow members once they were told the news. They all showed various rays of emotion; Jin and Hobi were clearly sad as they held back their tears, Jungkook looked to Namjoon with wide eyes for reassurance, while the leader tried to be as stoic as possible, not wanting to freak out the other members. Yoongi was visibly the most upset, hand curled into a fist so tightly that it started to turn white as it rest on the table. Jimin couldn’t bear to look at Taehyung, knowing full well that the moment he would see any form of sadness in his best friend’s eyes, that would be it for him. He wouldn’t be able to contain anything that he’s currently feeling.
But now he’s alone, sitting in the middle of a random hallway inside their company’s building. There’s no one with him, and the bottle inside of him that was holding every single emotion from the past hour has finally reached its limit, falling down his cheeks and landing in drops on the floor below him.
He doesn’t know how long he cries, but judging from the headache that starts to form at the back of his skull, he knows it must be a while. His sobs echo through the empty hallway, and although he knows someone probably will hear him, he can’t will himself to stop. He can’t bring himself to stop thinking about his fellow band members, and how he might not see them ever again.
He bends his head down as he brings his knees to his chest and wraps his arms around his legs, wishfully thinking that maybe if he can make himself smaller, his sadness will shrink with him. It doesn’t work, of course, but Jimin can’t bring himself to care, simply letting out a small whimper as a fresh wave of tears leave his eyes.
It’s in the middle of his third round of crying that he hears footsteps, faint at first but gaining in volume as whoever is walking comes closer to him. He doesn’t lift his head, whether out of embarrassment or simply because he doesn’t have the energy to, he’s not sure. All he can do is close his mouth as tightly as possible, arms squeezing around his legs tighter as he forces his cries to a halt.
The footsteps stop as the person has made their way next to him, and Jimin recognizes the familiar sound of a body sliding down the wall just as his did earlier. He expects the person, whoever they are, to start talking to him. Asking him if he’s okay, or if he needs tissues or some water. Maybe they’ll even scold him, tell him to get over it and shake it off. Neither sounds really enticing right now, but Jimin prepares himself for both.
Neither happens. In fact, Jimin wouldn’t have even known someone was next to him if it weren’t for the slight sound of their breath steadily coming in and out of their nose. It’s strange, but somehow comforting, as Jimin’s body naturally starts attuning itself to the rhythm of the person’s breathing, and soon Jimin realizes that he doesn’t have to force himself to hold in his cries. They have finally stopped, and with it Jimin’s arms start to loosen their grip around his legs, relaxing and regaining back some of their feeling.
It takes a few more minutes, but Jimin slowly regains the energy to lift his head, rubbing at his eyes to try and make his vision less blurry. When he turns his head to finally find out who is companion his, his eyes widen as he is met with Taehyung’s profile.
His head is tilted back, resting against the wall. His eyes are closed, lips set in a small smile.
“...Tae?” Jimin asks, wincing as his voice visibly scratches. Taehyung’s eyes pop open in surprise, head turning to towards Jimin. He takes in Jimin’s red eyes, smile falling briefly before it returns to its previous shape, letting out a small Hey in response.
“I don’t understand, how can you smile at a time like this?” Jimin asks, a little more bite to his question than he had intended. It doesn’t seem to faze Taehyung though, eyes instead softening at the boy next to him.
“Don’t get me wrong, I’m devasted. I guess...I don’t know, I’m just happy we even got to debut in the first place. I never expected any of this for myself. So, the fact that the we got to perform on stage, and people actually enjoyed it, I guess that’s enough for me, you know?” Taehyung asks, head turning to face forward again as his smile slowly gets wider.
“Besides, now I have six lifelong friends who I know have my back no matter what happens. I can’t be sad about that.”
Jimin’s eyes lower in response, taking in the words of the boy next to him. Taehyung’s right of course, but it doesn’t help to get rid of the sadness burrowed deep within his heart.
He feels Taehyung’s hand rest below is his chin, slowly lifting his head up until their eyes meet.
“You have every right to feel everything that you’re feeling right now, except for one thing. Do you know what that is?” Taehyung asks, to which Jimin shakes his head in bewilderment.
Taehyung smiles before removing his hand from under Jimin’s chin, instead reach down to grab Jimin’s hand and interlace their fingers.
“I know you Jimin. You’re my best friend, and I know you better than anyone else in the world right now. I know you think that just because we might have to disband, then that means that we won’t be in each other’s lives right now. But Jiminie, it’s about time you learned that I'm not going anywhere. You’re stuck with me, and nothing is going to change that. No matter what happens in the next few weeks, heck the next few years, I’ll be on the other side, ready and willing to hold our hand through it all. Do you understand?”
Jimin can’t say anything in return, eyes widened in amazement at what Taehyung just said. They haven’t known each other that long, but he is able to read him like his favorite childhood story, read over and over again to you until you eventually have every word memorized.
It brings another wave of tears, but the emotion behind them brings a smile to his face as he eventually nods his head, covering their interlocked fingers with his other hand.
They sit in the hallway for a while, exchanging fond memories of the past year that they shared. Taehyung makes him laugh as he recalls their first exchange, red coloring his cheeks like the color of his underwear he was wearing when Jimin came into the dorm. It’s a bittersweet moment that Taehyung is somehow able to turn light-hearted, unknowingly lifting weight off of Jimin’s shoulders every time he recounts a new memory. He brings a new wave of tears out of Jimin, this time from laughter as Taehyung takes his phone out, fighting with Jimin for a picture of their interlocked hands.
It isn’t until much later, when Jimin is finally calm and laying in his bed, that he learns why Taehyung did it in the first place. His phone alerts him that one of the members has posted on their twitter, and his curiosity gets the better of him as he opens the app. He’s extremely shocked at first, not quite believing what he’s reading. In fact, he exits out of the app and re-opens it to make sure it wasn’t a mistake. Sure enough, the tweet from Taehyung is still on their page, gaining thousands of likes within the first few minutes.
Jimin falls asleep with rosy cheeks, phone in hand and open to their bands’ twitter. A picture of his and Taehyung’s interlocked fingers filling his phone’s screen as the caption of the picture becomes a lullaby in Jimin’s dreams.
Let’s keep going for a long time. I only have you.
2016
Spots, that’s all Jimin can see. Spots varying in colors fill his vision as he slumps to the floor. Their new upcoming title track, “Blood, Sweat, and Tears,” continues playing through the stereo in the practice room. Jimin can’t really hear it though, all he can hear is the pounding of his heart deep within his chest and his breath coming in and out at a rapid pace.
He’s been pushing himself too far, and he knows it. So why can’t he seem to stop?
No matter how many times he practices the dance routine, he always pinpoints a step that could be sharper. No matter how much he starves himself, he finds a pinch of fat on his stomach when he looks in the mirror.
He knows he needs to run the routine again, but he can’t bring himself to move his legs. All he can do is place his head between his knees, willing the growing nauseous feeling in his stomach to stop.
At one point the song comes to an end, only to start over again.
Get up.
Jimin tries to get up on his feet, but in the end it only brings him down on his knees, palms touching the floor as his body falls forward.
I can’t..
He hears the practice room door open, and almost lets out a laugh as feet shuffle their way towards him.
“Why do you always manage to catch me at my worst moments?” Jimin asks dryly, his face showing no sign of surprise as he looks up to see Taehyung look down at him. Years of spending almost every day together means you learn every little thing about each other, and Jimin had the sound of Taehyung’s footsteps memorized ever since their moment in the hallway 2 years ago.
Taehyung takes in the sweat dripping from Jimin’s forehead, his cheeks sunken in, his eyes red from exhaustion and his arms shaking as they try to support his body.
He crouches down in front of him, grabbing Jimin’s arms and pushing him lightly backward until he falls on his butt. He hasn’t responded to Jimin’s question. In fact, he hasn’t said a word since he came into the room, which is rather strange for Taehyung, usually the first one to talk in the group.
Instead he makes himself busy, getting up to turn the stereo off, grabbing a small towel and water bottle from the corner of the room before he makes his way back to Jimin.
He returns to his previous position, crouching down in front of Jimin and holding out the water bottle in one hand and the towel in the other. At first Jimin just stares at him, eyebrows raising as he waits for the boy in front of him to say something, anything.
All he gets is a stern look in return as Taehyung pushes his hands closer to Jimin. Jimin sighs, shaking his head as he accepts the items, first using the towel to wipe the sweat off and then taking a sip from the water bottle.
He didn’t realize how thirsty he actually was until the first sip goes down his throat, and suddenly have the bottle is gone in seconds.
They sit in silence as Jimin catches his breath, avoiding eye contact with Taehyung until he really has no choice but to look straight ahead. He’s met with soft eyes that are slightly downturned, a sad smile gracing his lips.
Before Jimin can say anything, Taehyung reaches out and takes the water bottle out of Jimin’s hands, replacing it with one of his own hands instead. With their fingers interlocked, Taehyung slowly lifts both of their hands towards his face, lightly kissing the back of Jimin’s hand.
“Please...” Taehyung whispers, voice cracking as tears start to form in his eyes. “Please just come home. Come back to me, Jiminie.”
That is all it takes for Jimin to break, silent tears falling down his cheeks. Maybe he can take a break, just this once. Anything to get rid of the sadness filling his best friends’ eyes. Jimin leans forward and rests his forehead against Taehyungs, letting out a small breath as he closes his eyes.
"No matter where I go, I’ll always come back home. I’ll always come back to you.”
Jimin-ah,
Because of a diet and singing out of tune, or making a mistake on stage
Don’t be stressed out.
It’s no big deal.
No matter what you do on stage, it won’t change the fact that you’re the coolest performer I’ve ever seen.
2018
The birds start to chirp as they greet the promise of a new morning, and although the small park evokes a feeling of peace and calmness, Jimin feels anything but. His body sags against the bench in the middle of the park as he recalls the past few hours. It was a long night of discussing the bands’ future with the other members, and the outcome isn’t looking so bright.
They’re all just so tired, and every single one of them is struggling to find the energy to continue this life that they’ve created for themselves.
They love performing, and of course they love Army, but every day it seems harder and harder to push through the constant dance practices, and world tours, and interviews where they are asked the same questions over and over and over again.
Now, more than ever, they just want to relax. Give their bodies a break and live a life many would consider ordinary. It’s hard for some people to see the faults in the life they have, but there are many. You don’t get to do the mundane things, and if you do, you risk being mobbed by fans and paparazzi. It used to never both Jimin, the feeling he would get the moment that he steps onstage always seemed worth whatever life he was giving up. Now, he’s not so sure, because one of the things he has to give up is a chance at love.
It makes sense that Jimin would start to feel this way right after he came to realize his feelings for Taehyung. Now all he can think about is the missed moments they won’t get to have. Holding hands and kissing in public, not worrying about a camera taking their photo around the corner. Celebrating Valentine’s day and anniversaries. Getting to go on double dates with their friends.
Of course, none of that matters if Taehyung doesn’t return Jimin’s affection, but the feelings are there all the same.
Jimin jumps at the sound of a body slumping on the bench with him, taking him abruptly out of his thoughts.
Speak of the devil..
Jimin smiles as he bumps his shoulder against Taehyung’s. “How’d you find me, huh?”
“Check your watch, Chim. It’s 4 a.m. I wouldn’t expect you to be anywhere else but our bench,” Taehyung responds, a cheeky grin gracing his lips.
Jimin just lightly laughs in return, shaking his head at his best friend’s cheesiness.
“Right of course, how silly of me to even ask.”
Taehyung giggles in return, turning to face the boy sitting next to him.
“It’s weird, right? To be going through this again. The circumstances are different, of course, but the feelings are the same. Not knowing whether this is the end of the road for BTS or not,” Taehyung says, looking at Jimin to try and gauge his reaction.
Jimin sighs, nodding his head in return. He looks up at the sky, the stars barely visible as the sun prepares to make its return.
“Those words you said the first time this happened. About staying by my side...they’re still true, right?” Jimin asks, turning to his side and meeting Taehyung’s gaze. He can’t help but let a couple tears fall down his cheeks, always the easy crier.
Taehyung reaches over and interlaces their fingers, bring their hands to his lips and kissing the back of Jimin’s hand.
“Always,” Taehyung whispers, lips brushing against Jimin’s hand as he slowly lowers them into his lap.
Jimin smiles softly, thinking that their conversation is starting to come to an end. He’s surprised when Taehyung clears his throat, starting to speak again.
“Jimin...no matter what happens, whether we disband or not, I need you to know something. I don’t care what other people will think. I don’t care what the company will thinks. Heck, I don’t even care what our fans will think. I love you, and I want to be with you, whether the world knows it or not.”
Jimin’s eyes widen in surprise, a small squeak leaving his lips as he turns his body fully towards Taehyung.
“What...I mean...huh? What was that? All of a sudden?” Jimin asks in a high-pitched voice, the color pink staining his cheeks.
Taehyung laughs, eyes turning to honey as he takes in the boy floundering cutely next to him. “C’mon, you can’t tell me that our feelings for each other haven’t been obvious. Everyone knows. Are you really that dense, Jiminie?”
Jimin can’t say anything in return. He tries to form words, but they just come out as a jumbled mess. Taehyung makes him flounder a bit more before he cuts him some slack, using his free hand to cup the side of Jimin’s face.
“No matter what happens in the future. No matter how scary the world seems and everyone turns our backs to us. I want you by my side, your hand forever in mine. Is that something that you want?”
Jimin didn’t think it was possible, but his cheeks get even darker in color as he takes in the words that were just said. After a few moments he manages to nod his head, reach up with his free hand to cover Taehyung’s hand on his cheek.
“Always,” Jimin whispers back, finally getting his wits about him enough to smile. Taehyung smiles in return as he leans forward, letting their lips meet for the first time.
And as the birds continue to sing and the sun begins to rise, Jimin and Taehyung notice neither, having only each other to fill their hearts and their minds.
Why are you crying?
You and I are the only ones here
Me and You
Bonus:
2020
The world is going through a global pandemic, he hasn’t seen most of his friends and family in months, and their world tour is postponed indefinitely. Jimin, like just about every other person in the world, has every reason to be miserable. It used to be easy for him to break down, tears constantly aching to leave his eyes and meet his cheeks.
But as he turns to look at his best friend now boyfriend of two years, both of them on stage as they sing their duet from the bands’ latest album, Jimin can only smile. It’s not quite a love song, though if one simply ignores the title and looks at the lyrics, they would clearly think differently. But it’s theirs, and they finally get to have the stage to themselves and enjoy a moment between just the two of them, for all of the world to see.
So, as they head into the final chorus, Jimin reaches out and interlaces their fingers, squeezing Taehyung’s hand tightly as he’s met with a boxy grin. They finish out the song and walk off stage the same as they started their journey seven years ago.
Hand in hand.
Together.
Longer than seven summers and cold winters
Longer than numerous promises and memories
You are my soulmate