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You Don't Need to Remember

Summary:

Patton, being the embodiment of Thomas's heart, carries with him all of the feelings, good and bad, that Thomas has. When Patton begins to have nightmares keeping him tossing and turning each night, it's up to Roman to come and rescue him. Will he be able to figure out a way to help while on the sidelines?

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Roman's eyelids fluttered open, and he grunted, the sound coming from his throat before he could even think about making it. His eyes flicked to the blinking light of the alarm clock, the time reading an agonizing  2:46 a.m.  For a split second, the poor Prince was confused about and quite upset with the fact that he had been awoken. Then the question hit him: what woke him up? The answer, fortunately, came to him mere seconds later as a soft whimper sounded from beside him. All frustration was wiped from his mind as he turned, wrapping his arms around Patton. 

It wasn't a fairly common thing for Roman to sleep in Patton's bed, despite the fact that they were boyfriends. Roman was quite aware of how prolonged periods of time spent in Morality's room tended to affect him, but he just couldn't help himself. Ever since Patton had expressed his fears of the nightmares plaguing him in the night, Roman had made a habit of sneaking his way into his boyfriend's room to lie with him. Each and every morning, when the time started to get to him, he'd return to his room without Patton ever having been the wiser. It was specifically for moments like this. 

The soft whimpers quickly turned into whines as Patton tossed and turned, his face twisting into an expression of fear and sadness. Roman's heart constricted, pain making its way to tighten on his throat as he watched, helpless, as Patton lay prey to his mind's tricks. He hated that this was happening to him, but with the ever-increasing stress Thomas was feeling, the amount of pressure he was feeling to try and continue to be a good person was too much for Patton to handle. Roman took a breath, knowing he wouldn't be able to do anything for Patton if he, himself, was panicking. 

Slowly, calmly, he raised his hand to Patton's head as he tightened his grip on his boyfriend. Roman let his hand lightly comb through Patton's hair, his heart lifting slightly when the whines started to return to simple whimpers. Roman pushed down his impulses to get excited with his small victory, and instead put all his attention on Morality. Without really planning a melody, Roman began to hum a quiet song, the tune thankfully echoing softly around the walls, surrounding Patton with the sound of a calm voice. The notes he hummed were instinctive and he took a short second to thank Thomas for having such a wide range of musical gifts. 

Roman continued his humming for what felt like minutes, one hand combing through Patton's hair and the other trailing up and down his boyfriend's arm. Every now and then, the whines would return, but Roman quickly blocked them out, raising the volume of his hums. Once Patton was relaxed and the whimpers had faded, Roman took a moment to simply look at him, joy filling his entire being when a ghost of a smile made its way onto Patton's face. He tightened his grip, ever so slightly, before releasing Patton and falling asleep again, his eyes refusing to leave his boyfriend before everything faded to dark. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Patton's arm flung out, hand reaching for his glasses he'd left on his bedside table. He sighed, almost dreamily, as he thought back on his dream from the night before. The remnants of a nightmare lingered with him, but he couldn't remember anything about it, his only memories coming from the dream it had shifted into: Roman singing on a stage, the spotlight on him as he reached out and pulled Patton on the stage with him. Knowing how frightening his nightmares got, even though he wasn't aware of why it had changed, he welcomed the sudden deviation. 

He glanced around the room, pushing his glasses up his nose as he allowed himself to bask in the simplicity of the memories he kept hidden away in his bedroom. While Patton found the fact that the other Sides couldn't visit him in here rather unfair, part of him felt overjoyed at the idea that he was in charge of keeping the memories safe. Patton glanced at the alarm clock on the other side of his bed, surprised when it read  6:29 a.m.  He pulled his cardigan off the chair beside his bed, tying it around his shoulders, before standing and making his way into the shared mind space for all of the Sides, his mind set on one of the cookies he had baked the night before. 

Rising into the kitchen, he was delighted to find Virgil and Logan already there: Virgil on the counter, his legs swinging as he drank a cup of coffee, and Logan in between Virgil's legs in front of him, a hand on Virgil's knee, also drinking a cup of coffee. Patton found the scene quite adorable as the two spoke quietly to each other. As much as he hated to interrupt them, he didn't want to feel as though he was wrongfully intruding, so he cleared his throat, waving as each of the Sides turned to face him. Virgil's tired expression gave way for a short-lived smile as he waved back, and Logan was quick to start conversation. 

"Good morning, Patton," he said. Simplicity at it's finest. Patton beamed, glad they didn't seem upset at his intrusion. 

"Good morning to you two, too!" he chuckled, making his way towards the cookie jar. He felt the eyes of both of them on him, but he didn't let that stop him as he removed the lid and stuck his hand in, digging around for the biggest cookie. A throat clearing caused him to glance towards the two Sides, both gazing at him in pure wonder. 

"Please tell me you aren't going to eat a cookie for breakfast," Virgil said, his voice low as he took another sip of coffee. Patton smiled his eyes flicking between the two of them. 

"I was going to have two, actually. Would you like one?" Patton asked, grabbing at a random cookie and offering it to them. Virgil glanced at Logan's bemused expression before shrugging and snatching the cookie out of Morality's hand. He took a bite, crumbs falling onto his black shirt as he watched Logan try to understand their reasoning. Patton, however, found much more entertainment searching for the largest cookie and pulling it out, breaking it into two parts before taking a bite. 

"You do realize what sugar does to you on an empty stomach, correct?" Logan asked the concern on his face and the pure curiosity in his tone creating a fun combination. Patton shrugged, taking another bite while Virgil decided to challenge his boyfriend. 

"My stomach isn't empty," he said, a smile growing on his face. "It's filled with almost four cups of coffee." Logan scoffed, amusement in his tone despite his obvious efforts to hide it. 

"Which is not any better for your body." Patton cleared his throat, drawing their attention to him. 

"Sorry to interrupt your adorable conversation, but do either of you know where Roman is?" he asked, realizing that his boyfriend was nowhere to be found. He was usually at home on the couch, but he wasn't there. Logan shook his head, turning his attention to the cookie in Virgil's hand as he broke a piece off to eat. Virgil, on the other hand, gave Patton a surprisingly shocked look. 

"Wasn't he with you?" he responded. Patton furrowed his eyebrows, confused at the implication. Virgil should know more than any other Side the rule they had made against staying in each other's rooms. Why would he have thought they were together if he had just woken up? Logan must have understood the confusion since he was quick to expand on Virgil's response. 

"Did you not know that he was with you last night?" 

"He  what ?" Patton asked, panic filling his body. The last time anyone spent too long in his room, they had all almost gotten trapped there, and it had only been for a few minutes. Who knew what could've happened to Roman if he had stayed an entire night. Thankfully, Virgil was quick to recognize the fear filling Patton, and he hopped down from the counter, putting his hands on Patton's shoulders bringing his focus out of his own mind. 

"He's fine. Probably just sleeping," Virgil said. Patton felt a strange sense of pride at Anxiety being able to calm him down, but he couldn't help but doubt him.

"What makes you so sure? I'd hate if my room had hurt him somehow..." he asked, sadness filling his heart at the mere thought of something happening to his boyfriend. Virgil shot Logan a glance before backing away. 

"Because last night wasn't the first time," Logan said, eyebrows furrowing. "How could you not know about it?" Confusion tied itself into knots in Patton's stomach before he could even consider answering Logan's question. Instead of answering, however, his curiosity managed to mix with a strong sense of confusion.

"How do you two know about it if I don't?" he inquired, taking another nervous bite at his cookie. Logan and Virgil glanced at each other before smiling softly. Gently. Surprisingly, it was Virgil that answered. 

"You were whimpering again last night. The past few nights, it's been echoing into our rooms, so we had decided to visit you in your room to try and wake you up from whatever nightmare had you so scared, but Roman had already been there. It wasn't very long until he calmed you down," he said. Logan nodded, his mouth tightening into a thin line. 

"I had intended to express to him the dangers of staying in your room for whole nights, but I never got the chance.  Virgil -" a sharp look at his boyfriend "-told me that it would be best to leave you two be." Virgil rolled his eyes, pushing himself against the counter, almost as if trying to escape from Logan's gaze. 

"Roman was helping Patton with nightmares. I figure he probably has it all figured it out," he said, his eyes softening as he looked at Logan. Patton, however, was filled with an odd mixture of love and worry. Without thinking much about the consequences, he tossed the remains of his cookie onto the counter and sank out of the kitchen, hearing the worried voices of Logan and Virgil begin to muffle as he entered Roman's room. He had never been in Roman's room before, and despite his determination to find his boyfriend, he couldn't help but look around. 

The walls were painted a brilliantly deep red, a white swirl pattern reaching for each corner. The curtains were covered in red hearts, and Patton felt blood rush to his cheeks. Covering each and every surface were scripts from the plays and musicals Thomas had ever been a part of, and unfinished lyrics for songs Thomas had never completed. A deep-seated curiosity almost caused Patton to reach for one of the lyric pages, but he resisted the temptation as he made his way to Roman's bedroom. 

He had expected - hoped - that Roman would be asleep, but the sight in front of him was something he never thought he'd see. Roman was sitting on the edge of his bed, his clothes glowing a bright gold: the color of Patton's room. His hands were on his knees, and he was taking deep breaths, glancing around every now and then at photos set up on the dresser depicting moments from only days ago. Patton felt guilt wrap around his lungs, making it almost impossible for him to breathe as he watched the scene play out in front of him. 

It was immediately obvious to Patton what Roman was doing, and he gave a short cough, bringing attention to his presence. Roman jumped up, his sword in his hand in a defensive position that would have anyone cowering beneath him. Anyone but Patton. Patton stood, tears in his eyes when he saw the stress he had put Roman through by being in his room for so long. Why would he do that? 

"Patton?" Roman got out, dropping his sword and pulling Patton into a hug. Tears fell and were absorbed into the comfortable fabric that made up Roman's shirt. 

"I'm sorry," Patton whispered. "Logan and Virgil told me you were in my room last night." Roman shook his head. 

"I knew those two couldn't keep a secret," he mumbled into Patton's hair. "How much do you know?" Patton shrugged, pulling himself out of the hug to think.

"Not much. I mean... I know you were in my room last night and that you somehow calmed down a nightmare-" suddenly the dream shifting made sense, and Patton almost smiled at the realization before continuing "-and that it isn't the first time you've done this. Why would you put yourself through all of this?" Patton asked, gesturing to the photos on the dresser. Roman smiled, the golden glow fading from him and he looked at Patton. 

"You've been having nightmares. What kind of Prince would I be if I let my beloved fall prey to the foul demons of the night?" he asked, kissing away the tears from Patton's cheeks as he blushed. 

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked, trying to keep his voice steady despite the loving actions of his boyfriend. Roman bit his lip, seeming almost self-conscious of himself when he answered.

"You didn't need to remember. All that mattered was that you didn't have your nightmare. I didn't care much f you knew it was me or not," he said. Patton's heart filled with admiration and love towards his Prince. He was willing to put aside his ego for Patton. If that didn't scream love, he wasn't sure what did. 

"Thank you," he said, his voice soft as he played with the sleeves of the cardigan around his shoulders. Roman nodded, smiling down at his boyfriend. Patton paused, thinking back on the conversation he'd had with Virgil and Logan. "Wait, how did you stop my nightmare? In my dream, everything just shifted." Now it was Roman's turn to blush. 

"I.. um... I hummed to you...?" he answered, his response sounding more like a question than anything. Patton cocked his head, sure that he had heard wrong. 

"You hummed?" he asked. Roman nodded, blushing. "What do you hum?" 

"It's different each night, but it seems to work, so I don't question it," Roman admitted, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly, taking a small step backward. Patton chuckled, wrapping his arms around Roman's waist in a hug that was most probably crushing his ribs. Roman was quick to return the hug, one hand moving to Patton's hair as he combed his fingers through it. Something about the gesture felt familiar but he couldn't quite place from where. 

"You're my Prince Charming," Patton said, almost absentmindedly as Roman's movement filled him with contentment. Roman's movements faltered slightly as a sharp exhale sounded from him, almost shocked sounding. 

Everything started to go fuzzy as something shifted beneath them, and Patton grunted softly as they were pulled into the kitchen by Logan and Virgil, both of which looked very cross. Giving the two of them a quick once-over, Virgil nodded, shrugging, as he retired to the counter and returned his attention to the almost empty cup of coffee. Logan, however, was in a much more lecturing mood. 

"Do you have any idea how dangerous it was to go into Roman's room without a plan?" he asked, exasperated. Patton shrugged, grabbing hold of Roman's hand as he laced their fingers together. Logan shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose. "We have the rules set in place for a reason. It's too dangerous to spend too much time in any other Side's room. Be careful next time. Or, better yet, make sure there isn't any next time." Roman scoffed right as Patton was about to nod his head. 

"So much for keeping my secret," he said, causing both Virgil and Roman to pout slightly. "Which one of you caved first?" Virgil slouched down further and raised his arm, embarrassment causing his cheeks to flush. Patton giggled quietly at the interaction, as Virgil came to his own defense. 

"To be fair, when Patton breaks out the panicked deer eyes to ask why his boyfriend is nowhere to be found, it's hard not to lose track of what secrets you're supposed to be keeping." Logan nodded in agreement with Virgil's statement, and Patton couldn't help but mouth the word ' Sorry'  to him, which was easily dismissed by a wave of Logan's hand. Roman squeezed Patton's hand, bringing his eyes to meet the Prince's. 

"Yeah," Roman said, his tone almost dreamy. "Can't blame you, there." 

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