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It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, the air was crisp and cool. There was peace throughout all Etheria, and the only thing Adora wanted to do today was hang out with her wife and child.
Thinking of Finn always brought a warm glow to Adora’s chest. They hadn’t been parents for very long, and she was told that all new parents thought so, but Adora was pretty sure that Finn was the cutest baby ever. She couldn’t get enough of their chubby cheeks and tuft of blond hair and striking blue eyes. They had only recently started to crawl and she and Catra had to keep an eye on them else they would wander off to somewhere they, inevitably, should not be. It was an ongoing question between the two of them about who the baby took after more, in looks and in personality.
And Catra as a mom…
Adora couldn’t help but smile. She would never forget that first moment when Catra held baby Finn in her arms. How she had looked at them with such love and wonder and disbelief. How they had both stayed up late that first night, just watching them sleep. And how they had both woken up not two hours later, rubbing sleep from their eyes and stumbling to the crib, when Finn cried needing to be fed. Adora had held them both while Catra fed Finn, happy and loved, knowing that she held her whole world in her arms.
She couldn’t wait to hold them again.
Now if only she could find them.
The Castle of Bright Moon was large and there were any number of places the two of them could be. Adora checked their bedroom, where the two of them would often play or nap in their comfy, canopied bed. She checked the adjoining nursery, overflowing with gifts from Finn’s enthusiastic aunts and uncles: an ice sculpture from Frosta, multiple potted flowers from Perfuma, a giant huggable teddy bear from Scorpia. No luck, so she checked the water room, one of Adora’s favorite places for the multiple waterfalls and reflective pools.
But they were not to be found. Adora frowned, wondering where they might be, then perking up when she remembered Perfuma’s visit that morning. There could only be one place where Perfuma would go and maybe take Catra with her.
The Bright Moon gardens had seen some changes in recent years. They had become darker, creepier, in the short time that Shadow Weaver had stayed in the palace. Maybe some of the plants were harmless, useful for tea or spells or potions, but Adora and Catra had felt too much of her presence in the garden. They had made their peace in a way, at the end, but neither wanted a constant reminder of her. So Perfuma had come and transformed the garden in a way that only she could, installing giant windows throughout the greenhouse to let the light, and coaxing all manner of flowering plants and trees to grow that Adora could never name but could appreciate for the riot of color and warmth that they brought to this place. It became one of Catra’s favorite napping places, and Adora would often find her curled up in the sun, peaceful and happy and surrounded by a beauty that they had never known growing up.
It was here that she found Catra and Finn, laying on a blanket in one of Catra’s favorite napping spots. Finn was on their back, arms and feet in the air, trying to grab a feather that Catra kept just out of reach. She was lying on her side as she played with them, and they both looked so peaceful and beautiful and happy that it took Adora’s breath away. This was her family, and nothing threatened to take them away. She still couldn’t believe it, even now.
Catra looked up and saw her, welcoming her with the look in her eyes and slowly spreading smile. “Hey, Adora.”
Adora felt herself flush, never mind that Catra had said that to her countless times. But it never got old, the way she felt when Catra drew out the word “hey” and said her name in that soft drawl.
“Hey,” Adora said back, prolonging that delicious moment before she took Catra in her arms.
Because she could do that now. Just hold her whenever she wanted, and Catra was in the mood for cuddling. (Which was, thankfully, quite often.)
Finn made an excited trilling sound, seeing her too, and flipped over so that he could crawl to her. Catra stuck out a hand, not letting them get too far, and quirked a brow. “Well? You just gonna stand there, or…?”
Adora laughed and went to her, curling up behind her and wrapping them both in her arms. Catra snuggled closer, a purr rumbling in her chest, and she entwined her fingers with Adora’s. Finn snuggled too, burrowing under their arms and closing their eyes, content.
Adora didn’t think it was possible to feel more love for them than she felt in that moment. It was such a big feeling that made her want to smile and cry at the same time. And she was never that good with words, so showed it by kissing Catra on the cheek, gently. Catra turned on her back to look at her, then drew her down for a real kiss. Soft and slow, warm, with just the tiniest bit of heat when Catra nipped her lip. Adora gasped, looking at her with eyes wide, and Catra just looked at her knowingly and chuckled.
They just lay like that for a while, holding each other as Finn’s quiet breathing indicated they had fallen asleep.
“How was your day?” Adora said at last, in a whisper to not wake the baby.
“It was good,” Catra said. “Perfuma was here. Finn liked seeing how she could make the flowers grow really fast. He got his face in there and sneezed a few times. It was cute.”
Adora laughed softly, remembering a not so distant memory of Catra and her cute sneezes. “Not as cute as yours though.”
“Ugh,” Catra said, rolling her eyes at Adora. “Please don’t compare me to the baby. Besides, I did something much cooler. I caught Finn a bird.”
Adora gawked. “You…caught a bird? In front of Finn?” She imagined a flurry of feathers and blood and squawking, and grimaced. Catra must have felt her disapproval because she rolled her eyes.
“Not like that, dummy.” She held up the feather. It was black with swathes of blue and it glistened in the light. “I caught the thing, but gently, the bird was in one piece. I just held it long enough for Finn to coo at it, then let it go. I’m not a monster.” Adora was about to say that she absolutely was not a monster, when Catra grinned. “I’ll just a wait a year or two before teaching them to hunt. Then they’ll be ready.”
Adora groaned. “Please don’t teach the baby how to kill things.”
Catra shrugged. “Gotta start them young. I hated training, but it did make us strong.” She bopped Adora on the nose. “And I always did like beating you.”
“Hey now,” Adora said, shaking her off. “You did not beat me all the time. I definitely remember coming out on top.”
“Mhm.” But the knowing look Catra sent her suggested that maybe some of those wins were not completely earned, and maybe something Catra allowed to happen, and of course the words “on top” suggested…something. Adora flushed again and Catra grinned, clearly enjoying this. Adora flopped next to Catra.
“Well, we don’t have to train them too soon. They’re not cadets, like we were. They don’t have to fight the way we did.”
There was a hum of agreement from Catra, but her body tensed. Curious, Adora took her shoulder and rolled her over so she was lying on her back. But Catra avoided her gaze, looking down at Finn who was still sleeping peacefully at her side, Catra playing softly with their hair.
“Hey, what is it?” Adora asked quietly.
Catra took a moment, then looked at her with worry in her eyes. “I don’t know, Adora. Do you think we’ll be any good at this?” At Adora’s blank look, she continued. “You know, parenting? We didn’t exactly have a good role model growing up.”
Adora snorted. That was an understatement. “We’re not Shadow Weaver though.”
“No, we’re not. And obviously, rule number one of parenting is to think about what Shadow Weaver would have done and do the exact opposite,” Catra said. “But I mean…is that good enough?”
Adora took her hand. “What has you so worried, Catra? You’ve been a great mom to Finn. And we have a lot of people helping us figure it out.” It was so true. Between Micah and Bow and Glimmer at Bright Moon, and frequent visits from their friends, they had so much support when it came to raising Finn. Bow’s dads would also come by to visit and offer parental advice. It was far more than either she or Catra had growing up.
But Catra was worried, and there was a sad, almost haunted look in her eyes. “But I hurt a lot of people, Adora. I hurt you.” She bit her lip, worrying at it. “I was hurt a lot. Perfuma was telling me about this thing. Something about trauma getting passed down through generations. I couldn’t believe it. That sounded so messed up. How could the shit that I experienced actually get passed down to my kid?”
“Is that what she told you?” Adora said in disbelief.
“No,” Catra said, shaking her head. “Of course not. Perfuma wouldn’t say that about me. She was just talking about meditation and healing and the war. And how there was a lot of hurt from the war, and it would take time for all of that to heal, and how if you didn’t work on healing that, it would get passed down to your kids. And I know she didn’t mean it toward me, but I was just like, shit…” Her ears were down, forlorn. Her eyes downcast. “How could she not mean me?” she whispered.
Adora frowned, taking both of Catra’s hands in hers. “That is not true.”
“I’m all kinds of fucked up, Adora,” Catra said softly, breaking Adora’s heart. “You know it’s true.”
No. No that wasn’t true.
Adora took Catra’s face in her hands, didn’t say anything until Catra finally looked at her, eyes soft and vulnerable. “You are not fucked up, Catra. If you are broken, I’m broken too.”
Catra scoffed. “You didn’t do everything that I did.”
“No.” Adora said. “But I’m not perfect. I made mistakes. I have insecurities too.”
The belief that she was only as good as what she could give to other people. Not realizing she was worthy of love. Not able to reach out, or even realize, what it was that she really wanted until it was almost too late. There was a lot that she had to unlearn too.
“But what if I do what Shadow Weaver did?” Catra asked. “What if I hurt you, or hurt Finn, the way she hurt us?”
“Catra, no.” Adora said. “You will never be like Shadow Weaver. Because you don’t see Finn as a means to an end. Because you don’t need to manipulate me to stay. I love you. And I know you love me too, and Finn. You could never be like her.”
Catra took a deep, shuddering breath, looking at Adora as if she were a lifeline in a storm. “Don’t let me be like her, ok?”
“Never.”
Catra took another deep breath, then turned so that she was facing Adora. She brought Finn with her so that they were cuddling with the baby between them. She stayed like that for a while, just curled up in Adora’s arms.
“It’s still hard for me to believe sometimes,” she said at last.
“What is?” Adora asked gently, playing with the hair by her ear.
Catra looked at her, this sheepish look on her face. “That you love me. That we have Finn.”
Adora chuckled softly, kissing her on the lips. “You better believe it, dummy. Because we’re never gonna let you go.”
Catra’s chest rumbled in a purr. She smiled, and when she looked at Adora there was only light and love in her eyes. “You promise?”
Adora kissed her again, on the forehead this time. “I promise.”
Then they kissed, long and slow. They weren’t going to be perfect, they were going to mess up, but not so badly that they couldn’t find their way back to each other.
This was their forever. Hand in hand, learning from their past but not being defined by it, walking to a future that they would make together.
This was their promise to each other.
This was how they loved each other.