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Bad romance

Summary:

Going to a house party to see your crush dancing nearly naked on a stripper pole wasn't what Akaashi Keiji expected to see at the Miya's house party.

Notes:

I remembered watching an ice skating routine based off this song and dang the skater was so good and amazing on the ice! For some reason, I had this song playing in my mind the whole time whilst thinking of what kind of crazy fic to write and bam, this happened. Didn't think about putting in the stripper pole at first but hey, why not? It's the Miya's after all.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Loud music blared through the speakers as Atsumu opened the door to greet them. The man was already half gone, his face flushed and a lopsided grin that made him look even more moronic than before pasted on his face as he gave a loud burp straight into Akaashi’s face.

 

“Welcome to the best partayyyy of the centuryyyy,” he slurred as Akaashi pinched the bridge of his nose. The smell of alcohol wafting from both Atsumu and the house was nearly too much for him to take. Akaashi rarely drunk any alcohol anyway and he didn’t know what had possessed him to accompany Bokuto to this party meant for the vast majority of the V league.

 

Already having a mad game of beer pong where Atsumu and Bokuto’s brothers in crime, the MSBY Black Jackals. Hinata was letting out a cute giggle as he tossed the ping pong ball at one of the cups, missing it badly as Meian let out a laugh. The man who was supposed to be the handler of these boys was far into the gone as well, his face flushed with a paper hat on his head as he tossed a drink into Hinata’s face. The spiker took it and gulped it down in one swig, his teammates letting out hoots of laughter as he tried to do what was supposed to be the Irish jig before landing on the table, scattering cups everywhere and messing up the floor.

 

“Hey hey hey, how is my disciple doing?” Bokuto boomed as he rushed to his teammates, all of them giving out whoops and cheers as they crowded around him. The spiker already had three beers tossed at his face as he downed them all in one gulp, Akaashi face-palming himself at how badly his best friend was trying to make himself look cool. The man had a surprisingly high alcohol tolerance and it amused the team to see just how much it takes for the man to actually get drunk.

 

“I wanna leave,” Akaashi muttered under his breath, an arm slinging itself over his shoulders as Atsumu hiccupped, “Come on, Kaashi! Don’t be such a spoilsport! The party is just beginning!” He let out a loud burp followed by a giggle, Akaashi slowly detaching himself from the setter the best he could as he flopped down onto the couch that surprisingly only had the one person he thought would never come for a party.

 

Sakusa Kiyoomi himself was seated on the couch, his mask off and a goofy grin on his face as he tipped back the cup against his throat. Akaashi’s eyes widened even further as he let Atsumu slip onto his lap and give him a sloppy kiss, the setter grinding against him as Sakusa moved to trail kisses along his neck. The spiker grinned as his setter arched underneath him as his hands moved across his body, Akaashi’s face already growing hot from the amount of PDA being shown when a loud voice boomed on the microphone.

 

“Gents! Welcome to the welcome party for Shoyou! Now, let’s give a round of applause for the first person to take to the dance floor, Miya Osamu!!!” Suna Rintarou, middle blocker for the EJP Raijin yelled into the microphone. The headphones that were supposed to be covering his ears were had sliding down his arm, acting like a large bracelet as the man punched a few buttons on the stereo, music pouring through in a loud beat. Akaashi had all but given up on being in the party and was about to excuse himself when a spotlight came onto a single man standing in the middle of what was supposed to be the dance floor, dressed in very revealing and sexy black clothes as Akaashi felt his throat run dry.

 

Miya Osamu looked gorgerous in ripped jeans and a very very ripped shirt that was just barely able to hold onto his shoulders. The owner of Onigiri Miya was just as ripped, if not even more ripped as he had been in his volleyball days and he had even donned some lipstick and mascara, making him look like a demon ready to drag his prey into the depths of hell as the music played up. And where the hell did they get a stripper pole?!

 

“Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, caught in a bad romance. Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, caught in a bad romance.”

 

Of all songs, why on earth this? Akaashi moaned to himself as Lady Gaga began to sing through the speakers.

 

"Ra-ra-ah-ah-ah. Roma-roma-ma, Gaga, ohh la-la. Want your bad romance. Ra-ra-ah-ah-ah, roma-roma-ma. Gaga, ooh la-la, want your bad romance.”

 

Osamu began to move fluidly against the pole, hooking his leg against it as he twirled himself around. His ankles were surprisingly really strong as he moved to spin himself up, dangling from them as he dipped his body low. The crowd let out a loud whoot as he grinds himself against the pole, his body rubbing against it in such a hot manner that Akaashi could feel himself sweating. He could practically see the muscles shifting against the fabric of his shirt to rub against the pole, the sweat doing very little to hide how buff he was as he danced.

 

“I want your ugly, I want your disease. I want your everything as long as it’s free. I want your love. Love, love, love, I want your love, hey. I want your drama, the touch of your hand (hey), I want your leather-studded kiss in the sand, I want your love. Love, love, love, I want your love.” Osamu finished his assault on the pole, his eyes moving across the crowd to settle on Akaashi. The man was already dying to just run away as Osamu moved towards him, the man giving him a wink as he moved to stand in front of him, Atsumu letting out a whoop as Sakusa yelled, “Get him, Samu!” Akaashi had all but died as Osamu moved to sit on top of his lap, his hips grinding against him as the editor wished he could just die.

 

His arms hooked around Akaashi’s neck as the editor gulped, his face blushing from both the heat and skin contact against him as Osamu began to move. Heck, he wasn’t even dancing at this point, just moving his butt against Akaashi as the editor let out a whimper. Already he was beginning to feel the effects of the man on him, his pants growing tighter and his face way too hot as Osamu leaned in to whisper against his ear. His breath tickled against his flesh as Akaashi squeaked.

 

“You know I want you, and you know that I need you. I want it bad, your bad romance.”

 

That was when Akaashi Keiji truly died and hopefully went to heaven.

 

“I want your love and I want your revenge. You and me could write a bad romance (Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh). I want your love and all lover’s revenge. You and me could write a bad romance. Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, caught in a bad romance.” As the music continued, Akaashi could feel himself trying to push Osamu off him, lest he succumb to his inner desires. He was not about to get turned on by the man who was the seller of his favourite food and thinks that he was rather delicious looking himself and wanted to lap him all up. Osamu didn’t seem to want to move as his grip around his neck tightened, not letting Akaashi escape as he smiled, “I’m not letting you go anywhere, gorgeous.”

 

He planted a kiss on Akaashi’s lips, tasting like vodka and a hint of onigiri. Akaashi all but melted into the kiss, the crowd cheering as the two of them kissed. Well, Osamu was the one doing most of the work while Akaashi tried not to die underneath him, the poor man wishing he could die there and then when Atsumu let out a laugh.

 

“Hey! Did you guys see that?! He got a nosebleed from kissing!”

 

“Seriously?!” Suna let out a bark as he whipped out his phone to take a picture, although he had already been filming the entire thing as Osamu let out a grin. Akaashi clamped his hand over his nose, which was truly gushing out some red liquid. The editor let out a shout of apology as he pushed Osamu off him with all his might and ran out of the house, not looking back even as Bokuto shouted his name as he hugged his coat against his chest.

 

Holy shit, he was an adult! Why was he getting a nosebleed from a kiss?

 

Still, Akaashi would hate to admit that he hated it when he had actually loved it so much.

 

 

Osamu groaned as the alarm blared by his bedside table, a pounding headache assaulting his brain as he tried to sit up. He realised he couldn’t when he saw that Suna, Sakusa and Atsumu were all piled into his bed, the three of them snoring away with Atsumu and Sakusa being very visibly naked. Osamu vowed to wash out the sight from his eyes as soon as he could disentangle himself from the group, trying not to throw up on them at the same time.

 

He shouldn’t have drunk before going to work the next day. Being the owner of a famous onigiri store had both its perks and disadvantages. One thing he was very paranoid about was not being there for his latest store, the Tokyo branch of Onigiri Miya and the very reason why he had crashed at his twin’s place for the time being. While he trusted the staff, he couldn’t help but want to make sure everything was all right.

 

Plus, that meant he could see a certain someone.

 

His head swam as he headed into the bathroom, rummaging through the cabinet to get some aspirin and gulping it down. He did his best to make himself look presentable, washing his face and wiping it clean when he realised how swollen his lips were. He touched them lightly as the memories of the previous night came crashing back onto him, his cheeks growing red as he remembered what he had done to the manga editor whilst under the influence of alcohol.

 

“Holy shit,” he groaned as he cursed himself for doing such a thing. He didn’t know how the hell he could even face him now, praying that the man would not come into his shop anytime soon and make him face the consequences but of course, Lady Luck decided to screw him over and drop Akaashi Keiji into his lap first thing in the morning.

 

“Oh, good morning,” Akaashi greeted as Osamu tried not to blush at the man he had technically tried to kiss the previous night. Akaashi didn’t look fazed at the sight of him, Osamu’s face already as red as a siren as the man clutched at his apron.

 

Why did he decide to be the one manning the store first thing in the morning without any backup?!

 

Akaashi rattled off his order as Osamu noted it down, trying his best not to press the wrong buttons on the cashier. He was very aware of how flustered he was, his cap doing very little to hide the blush in his cheeks as Akaashi asked, “Mya-san, are you alright? You don’t look so good.”

 

“Ah, hangover,” he blurted as he cursed himself for reminding Akaashi of what happened the previous night. The slightest of blushes dusted the editor’s cheeks as he gave him the cash for payment, Osamu nearly dropping the money as he slipped them into the cash register. For a moment, they didn’t speak a word, silence stretching between them as Akaashi muttered, “I didn’t know you were that good in dancing.”

 

Osamu mentally felt himself blowing up and flying to Mars at the comment as he blurted, “Sorry for doing that to you yesterday!” Luckily for him, there were no customers in the shop, allowing him to make himself a complete idiot in front of his crush as the said crush giggled. Osamu gaped as Akaashi broke out into a laugh, his smile making his anxiety run away for a little bit.

 

“I enjoyed it actually. Never had a lap dance before.” The tease in his voice was enough to make Osamu blush as Akaashi took the bag of onigiri the man had forgotten to hand over to him. As he took the bag, Osamu was quick to slam his head down hard on the register, nearly giving himself a concussion as he squeaked, “I like you, Akaashi! Please go out with me!” He did not intend for the confession to go out like this as well as the giggle coming from Akaashi’s mouth.

 

“Sure, I will, Mya-sam,” Akaashi smiled as Osamu’s eyes glittered.

 

“Please, call me Osamu.”

 

“Well, then. You can call me Keiji.”

 

Well, Osamu hopes that their romance would be sweet and smooth sailing, unlike the song that he had danced to that inevitably brought them both together.

Notes:

Hoped you guys liked it! Come yell at me @runningfromrealitytoanime on Twitter and Tumblr!

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