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Carlos is in the middle of scooping out some Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream into a bowl when his roommate and best friend comes through their apartment door, slamming it as he goes.
“Hey,” he greets him. Checking the time on the microwave, he frowns when he sees that it’s only 8:15. “I thought you had a date with that guy you met at the coffee shop last week,” he questions, turning around to face TK, he finds him scowling. “Oh-oh, what happened?”
TK exhales loudly as he takes off his jacket in a jerking motion that confirms his annoyance. “Well, let’s see,” he starts as he looks at him, placing his hands on his hips. “We can start with him trying to flirt with the waiter after he ordered for me without even asking what I wanted,” he tells him, nodding in agreement when Carlos cringes. He hates when guys do that Alpha male bullshit too.
“Or,” TK continues with an angry fake smile. “We can move on to the conversation portion of the evening that included the words, MAGA, and build the wall.”
“Oof,” Carlos winces one more time. “That’s gross.”
“Exactly!” TK growls, right before deflating.
Carlos watches as TK walks over to the couch, dropping down on it with a defeated groan as he covers his face with his arms. He looks down at his bowl of ice cream for a moment, grabbing an extra spoon before making his way over to the couch and his friend. He sits down next to TK silently, pressing his knee against his in support.
TK drops his arms from his face, and Carlos hates how defeated he looks when he turns to him.
“He seemed so nice at the coffee shop,” TK says with a shake of his head. “Charming and funny. Instead, from the moment he picked me up, it was all a nightmare. How do I keep getting this so wrong?”
“You’re not getting anything wrong,” Carlos argues, instantly getting a snort of disbelief in return.
“No?” TK chuckles humorlessly; he holds up his hand to count off on his fingers. “My last date spent the night telling me how hot my dad is. The guy before that thought that buying me a steak dinner intitled him to a blow job, and the guy before that turned out to have a girlfriend and was just using me as his gay experiment.”
TK looks over at him; his green eyes etched with pain and defeat. “The common denominator in all those dates is me. So, obviously, I’m the problem.”
“The only common denominator is that every one of those guys are assholes,” Carlos argues strongly, upset that he even has to explain this.
TK has been his friend since they were both rookies, him with the police department, and TK with the fire department. They met on a call, instantly hitting it off while dealing with a massive car pile-up. The attraction between them had been electric, and that very night, after running into each other at the local bar, they had ended up making out in Carlos’ car with their hands down each other’s pants. It could have been the beginning of something, but TK was coming off a bad breakup, and instead of needing a rebound or a boyfriend, he needed a friend, and that’s what Carlos had become.
Three years later, Carlos doesn’t regret it; he loves his friendship with TK, especially now that they’re roommates. He loves coming home knowing there is someone he cares about waiting after a long hard day, even if it’s just platonic.
Really.
Okay, so maybe he dies a little on the inside when TK goes on these failed dates, and perhaps he has to bite down on his tongue until he tastes blood to keep from asking for another shot when he finds himself sitting on the couch with his friend like right now, listening about how bad TK’s date turned out.
He’s never said anything before, and he doesn’t say anything now; instead, he pushes the melting ice cream towards TK, his insides fluttering when TK gives him a soft smile in return.
“Thanks,” TK says quietly as he takes a spoonful of the sugary goodness. Carlos feels his stomach clench when he lets out a soft happy moan around the spoon in his mouth. “So good.”
“Yeah,” Carlos gets out, his mouth going dry as TK licks the ice cream off the utensil.
They eat their ice cream in comfortable silence, leaning further and further into each other’s space. They battle it out over the last bite, laughing like idiots as they duel with their spoons.
“Ha, victory!” TK shouts, grinning happily as he eats the last bit of ice cream.
“I let you win,” he grumbles, unable to stop his own smile when it makes TK laugh again.
It trails off into a soft chuckle, TK leans his head back on the couch, looking over at him with gentle green eyes. “You always make me feel better,” he tells him, his voice low and soft. “Thank you, Carlos.”
Carlos nods, licking his lips nervously, feeling awkward from the way TK’s obvious affection for him makes him yearn for more.
“You’re welcome,” he says just as quiet, he takes a steadying breath before he continues. “Listen, Ty, forget about the idiot tonight, and the idiots that came before him.”
“I know,” TK sighs out sadly. “I just – “
“No, listen,” Carlos interrupts him, he sits up straight and places the empty bowl on the coffee table before taking TK’s hands in his. “Listen to me, okay? You, TK Strand, are amazing.”
TK scoffs at him, but Carlos can see the beginnings of a blush on his face.
“You are,” he insists, squeezing TK’s hand. “You’re brave, and kind, TK. You care so much about everyone and everything around you. You want to save the world, and you love so fiercely. You are so good, Ty. You’ve just had a bad string of luck, but you’re going to find someone that loves you as you deserve, I promise,” he tells him, swallowing hard, trying not to show how much it hurts to think of TK with someone else for real, loving them the only way TK knows how. With everything he has.
“Carlos – “ TK whispers with a slow exhale, his eyes wide as he stares at him in awe. Their faces are so close, Carlos can feel the small puffs of air across his skin.
“You’re amazing, sweetheart,” he tells him again. “You have to know that.”
TK stares at him, mouth open, and Carlos can’t help but stare back as his heart pounds loudly in his ears. He feels naked, like every feeling he’s been hiding from TK for so long is now on the surface for him to see.
He tracks TK as he moves closer, and yet he still gasps when he presses his mouth against his. They stay frozen for a moment, lips touching as neither of them dares to even breathe. Finally, TK, braver than he’ll ever be, moves, he runs the tip of his tongue over Carlos’ bottom lip, pulling another shocked gasp out from deep in his chest. TK makes a sound of his own; it’s needy as he presses his mouth against his, harder and more insistent.
Carlos reacts on instinct; he’s been dreaming for years of kissing TK again. He opens his mouth, his stomach clenching as TK makes a pleased sound, almost a purr, as he slips his tongue into Carlos’ mouth, flicking it against his.
TK shifts closer, getting up halfway from the couch only to drop back down, his knees on either side of Carlos as he straddles him before sitting on his lap. Carlos moans, his hands grabbing at TK’s hips blindly before pushing his hips up, thrusting is rapidly growing hard-on against TK’s.
“Fuck, Carlos,” TK gasps, breaking the kiss, his hands now clenching his curls, gripping them hard, and Carlos finds himself tilting his head back when TK pulls on them. He lets out a broken groan at how good it feels as he helplessly rubs against TK, the desire to come in his pants strong.
“You feel so good, baby,” TK whispers hotly against his mouth. He pulls Carlos’ bottom lip between his teeth and sucks on it in a way that makes Carlos see stars. It throbs pleasantly when he lets go. “Why the hell have I been wasting my time on bad dates?” he asks teasingly before kissing him softly.
Carlos freezes at TK’s words, it feels like a bucket of ice-cold water has been thrown on him. TK must feel him go tense all over because he stops instantly. Pulling back, he gives him a concerned look as he hovers over him.
“Carlos?” he questions worried. “Are you okay?”
Carlos shakes his head quickly, with his hands on TK’s hips; he softly pushes him back until TK is no longer in his lap. He stands, feeling his hand shake as he brings it up to his mouth, wiping away at the wonderful taste that is TK Strand.
“You don’t want this,” he starts, closing his eyes at the sting he feels behind them as he says the words out loud. “You’re upset about your bad date,” he continues, forcing himself to look at TK, his heart breaking at having what he wants so close and yet so far away. “I’m not going to take advantage of that no matter how much I want you.”
He looks down at his feet, willing the tears back.
“How much I always want you,” he whispers mostly to himself, he feels his face go red with embarrassment and sadness as TK takes in a sharp breath.
“Carlos – “ he starts softly, his green eyes looking at him with distress. “I –“
“You don’t have to say anything,” he stops him, mustering up a fake smile. “This was just a fluke. You needed something to make you feel better after tonight. Luckily we didn’t do something that you would regret in the morning,” he continues. He takes a step back when TK opens his mouth again, a severe frown on his face. “Let’s just forget about it and call it a night.”
“Carlos – “ TK tries again, his frown growing when he tries to take a step towards him, and Carlos’ takes a step back.
“Good night, TK,” he tells him before turning around. He doesn’t turn back as he heads for his room, he can’t bear to look at TK right now with his mouth swollen and tingling from their kisses. If he does, there is a good chance that he’ll get on his knees and beg his friend to love him the way he loves him.
֍֍֍
Carlos can’t sleep, he’s tossed and turned all night, reliving what happened in the living room hours ago.
He hears TK moving around the apartment while he hides in his room, he’s relieved and disappointed when he doesn’t knock on his door.
Flashes of their moment play behind his eyelids. TK’s mouth, the feel, and taste of it, his body pressed against Carlos, molding to him like he was the matching piece to make Carlos complete. He sighs in frustration as he gets out of bed; there is no point in trying to sleep; it’s not going to happen tonight.
He changes into running clothes and grabs his shoes from his closet before making his way out of his room quietly. Only to stop short when he reaches the living room and finds TK sitting there with the TV on mute, and only a side table lamp on, leaving the room in shadows.
TK looks over at him when he hears him, his expression miserable, and it makes Carlos’ heart squeeze painfully, hating that he’s responsible for that look on his face.
“You only go for midnight runs when you’re upset,” TK says quietly, taking in the running shoes in his hands.
“I can’t sleep,” he answers awkwardly.
TK nods, sadly. “Because I hurt you,” he sniffs, and if Carlos’ heart hurt before, now it feels like it’s breaking.
“No, Ty – “ Carlos starts, only to stop when TK shoots off the couch.
“Wait, let me speak first,” TK asks, pleading. “Please, afterwards, whatever you want to say, or whatever you want me to do, whether that’s moving out or not, I’ll do it.”
“Move out?” Carlos questions, his voice cracking, and heart racing at the suggestion. “I don’t want you to move out, TK.”
“Let me speak, and then we’ll see if you still think that,” TK gives him a humorless smile. “Please sit.”
Carlos does as TK asks, his heart still beating funny, his palms sweating with nervousness, he doesn’t know what TK wants to say, all he knows is that he can’t let him move out over this. Whatever happens, he can’t bear the thought of losing TK completely.
“Okay, first,” TK starts as he paces back and forth in front of him, his eyes wild when he stops to look at him. “I need you to believe me when I say that what happened earlier had nothing to do with my lousy date. That jerk was the farthest thing from my mind when I kissed you.”
“TK – “ Carlos says gently, only to jerk back when TK answers with a firm ‘No.’
“No,” he repeats. “If you believe nothing else, I need you to believe that. When I kissed you, the only thing going through my head was you, and how badly I wanted to kiss you,” TK looks at him, even in the half-lit room, he can see his green eyes, bright and earnest.
“And then when we kissed Carlos,” TK pauses, letting out a sigh almost to himself. “All I could think was, finally. I have waited so long to kiss you again.”
Carlos feels his breath catch in his throat at TK’s confession, his pulse racing as the first trickles of hope flicker in his belly. “What do you mean finally?” he asks, unable to keep that hope out of his voice.
TK comes over to sit down next to him, and Carlos turns to face him, his hands itching to reach out and touch him when he looks at him nervously.
“Went we met years ago, we started out so freaking hot,” TK reminds him, and he finds himself blushing from the memory and the small smirk on TK’s lips.
“But I was a mess from my shitty breakup, and you were just so nice and understanding that I couldn’t make you my rebound. It wouldn’t have been fair to you. So instead you became my friend, my best friend, Carlos,” TK stresses strongly. “You helped me get over it, giving me a shoulder to cry on, being supportive every step of the way.”
“I just wanted you to be okay,” he whispers, getting a beautiful smile back from TK.
“With your friendship, I was better than okay,” TK says softly, he hesitantly reaches out for his hand, letting out a breath when Carlos takes it. “I was finally happy again,” he smiles.
Carlos smiles back, a little shaky at his words.
“But by the time that happened, and I realized I was ready for more,” TK pauses, licking his lips. “When I realized I wanted more. We were already such good friends; it felt like I had missed my shot to turn us into something else.”
TK exhales softly; he looks down at their hands and gives his a squeeze.
“So,” he says slowly, dragging out the word. “All of this is to say that we can do whatever you want, you’re in charge, Carlos,” TK looks back up at him, and Carlos is blown away by all the emotions he finds swirling in his green eyes. “If you want to forget this whole night, I’ll never speak of it again. If you need space and need me to leave, I’ll do that too, whatever you want. But please, please, don’t think for one second that I was using you to forget someone else, because that couldn’t be further from the truth.”
Carlos looks at TK, takes in his nervous expression, and the way he bites down on his bottom lip as he watches him.
Waiting for his answer, whatever it might be, he knows TK will do whatever it takes to make sure he’s okay, even if it breaks his own heart, and Carlos wonders how he was blessed to love someone so kind.
“I’m in love with you,” he says, and for once, Carlos’ heart isn’t racing. It’s steady with the sureness of his feelings. “I have loved you for years, TK, so the last thing I want from you is space.”
“Carlos, I – “ TK starts, his voice trembling, but the watery smile on his face is bright, and probably the most beautiful thing Carlos has ever seen. “I love you too.”
“I figured,” he answers teasingly, the laugh TK lets out is like magic.
“So,” he continues as he reaches up to cup TK’s face, his stomach fluttering when TK turns his head to kiss the inside of his palm. “You asked me what I want. Well, what I want is for you to kiss me like earlier and never stop,” he says with a grin, feeling the flutter turn into a clench as TK licks his lips, his eyes darkening with want. “Think you can do that?”
TK takes his hand off his face before pushing him back into the couch as he stands. Carlos holds his breath when TK straddles him again, pressing his body against his until there isn’t an inch of space between them. His body reacting instantly to the feel of TK already half-hard against him.
“Yeah, baby,” TK says as he closes the gap between them, his lips brushing over his as he speaks. “I can absolutely do that.”