Archive of Our Own ^beta

The moment Gerard woke up, he realized something was not right. He couldn't pinpoint exactly what, but there was something in the back of his head, sending out little signals of "Wrong! This is all wrong!" He felt off balance and weird, but he had no idea what the problem was.

Lindsey was in the kitchen already, a second pot of coffee brewing, when Gerard stumbled in. Bandit was sitting at the kitchen table, drawing.

"Daddy, Mommy's gonna take me to the studio today!" she said excitedly when she saw Gerard. Gerard smiled and ran a hand through her hair before heading for the coffee.

Lindsey was leaning against the counter, smiling at him indulgently. "If you don't hurry you're gonna be late for recording."

Gerard glanced at the clock, and shit, yeah, he was supposed to be there in half an hour. Luckily their studio was close by. Besides, they were mostly finishing up now. He poured himself coffee and leaned against Lindsey before taking a sip. "You okay?" she asked, and Gerard looked up to see her frowning down at him.

"Fine," he said. "I think." The discontent he'd felt waking up had mostly faded away when he walked into the kitchen. He put it down as a lingering nightmare he couldn't remember. "Weird dreams."

"Want to talk about them?"

He shook his head. "Can't remember. It's fine." He smiled, watching Bandit hunched over the table, concentrated on her picture. He knew they should remind her to sit up straighter, but at the same time he didn't really want to bother her when she was so focused.

Lindsey pressed a kiss to his cheek before going to get her bag and car keys. "Well, we'll see you tonight," she said, smiling at him from the door. "Bandit, say bye to Daddy."

Bandit finished her picture and signed it with a calculated flourish in her hand which made Gerard grin over at Lindsey. He'd taught her that. Lindsey just shook her head fondly. Bandit clambered down from her chair and ran to Gerard, who picked her up for a hug.

"Have a good day, Daddy," she said, and Gerard hugged her, the feeling of discontent almost forgotten.

~

It was back when he reached the studio, humming under his skin. It made him feel twitchy and wrong, and the fact that he didn't know what it was about or where it was coming from was not helping at all. Still, he figured, it'd be fine when he was in the studio with the guys. He felt like then it would be fine. Just seeing Mikey, Frank, Ray, Pedicone would make it all okay. He and Mikey usually went in together, but he figured since he'd almost been late and Mikey hadn't called him, he'd be there already. He really wanted to see Mikey right now.

Their recording studio was on the second floor of the house they had rented through the label where they'd also written most of the new album. Frank was in the main hall when Gerard got there, in the middle of a phone call.

"Jamia?" Gerard mouthed and Frank nodded. "Hi, Jamia!" he said into the phone.

Frank rolled his eyes and pushed him off, smiling. "Private conversation here, dick." Gerard just grinned back. "She says hi, too." He went back to the conversation and Gerard waved his hand at him, to get his attention again. "Hold on, what?"

"Hey, sorry," Gerard said. "Is Mikey here yet?"

Frank furrowed his brow and leaned closer. "Who?"

"Mikey," Gerard repeated. "Shit, Frank, are you losing your hearing or something?"

"Um," Frank said. "He's in the lounge with Ray," he offered, as if he was not quite sure. Gerard nodded and waved his hand at him, motioning for him to get back to Jamia. Frank just shook his head and raised the phone back to his ear.

~

Gerard found Ray and Pedicone in the lounge on the second floor, Ray going over some chord progression and Pedicone working on his laptop. Mikey wasn't there, though.

"Ray," Gerard said, clapping him on the shoulder. "Where's Mikes?"

Pedicone raised his hand at him and waved. Gerard waved back. "Ray?" he asked. "Frank said Mikey was here."

Ray looked at him like he was questioning Gerard's sanity. Which was not actually a rare occurrence, but—

"Frank said Mikey was here," Gerard repeated. "Have you seen him?"

"Gerard," Ray said. "Who are you talking about?"

Gerard stared back at him, confusion starting to transform into worry.

"Shit, what do you mean, Ray? Is he okay? Where is he?"

Ray raised his hands from the guitar and held them out as if to placate Gerard. "I— Gerard, we don't know any Mikeys."

"But—"

The feeling was back, Gerard hadn't even noticed it disappearing while he was talking to Frank, but now it was back with a pang. The litany of "wrong, wrong, wrong" going through Gerard's head was pressing down on him and it hurt. He tried to ignore it, make it go away again. It wasn't working.

"Frank said he was here," he repeated. "He said."

"No," Frank said, and Gerard whirled around to see him standing in the doorway. "I thought you meant Mike, so I told you where he was."

Gerard stared back at him, helpless. His guys would never even joke about it, not like this. Gerard was sure of it. Which could only mean—

"No," he said, faintly.

"Gee—," Frank said, a worried look on his face.

"No," Gerard says. "No, you— Mikey? Mikey!"

He stormed out of the lounge, screaming for Mikey. Then he stopped and thought about this for a moment. If Mikey were there, he would have already replied. Unless he had his headphones on, but that didn't— How could the the others have forgotten about him, what the fuck. He couldn't think about that then. Either the guys were messing with him or Mikey was actually missing, and he needed to find out which one it was. He took a breath and called out again. There was no answer. So, he was just not there yet.

Gerard ran down to check if his car was in front of the house, and of course, it wasn't, how had he missed that before. He already felt winded when he got there.

"This damn house is too fucking big," he said when Frank caught up with him.

"Gee, wait," Frank panted out.

"Okay, so he's not here yet," Gerard said, and pulled out his phone to call Mikey.

That's when a car pulled up outside the house, and for a second Gerard was so relieved—until he realized that wasn't Mikey's car, and out climbed Matt Cortez. Gerard frowned, even though in normal circumstances he would have been pretty happy to see Matt.

"What's Matt doing here?" he asked, distractedly.

"He's our bass player, Gee," Frank said, slowly.

"You mean he's substituting for Mikey? Seriously, Frank, what's going on?"

"Gerard," Frank said. "Matt's not substituting for anyone."

Gerard stared at him, uncomprehending. "No."

Frank threw up his hands. "What do you mean, no? Matt's been our bass player pretty much since the beginning, what is this, Gee?"

That's when Matt stepped through the front door, smiling, and Gerard felt like his world was fucking crumbling around him. "He's not," he said, and shook his head. "He's not, you're not, Matt, I'm sorry, but you are not our bass player, Mikey is."

"Gerard," Frank said firmly and grabbed his arm. "There is no Mikey."

Gerard closed his eyes and took a deep breath. And another. Getting mad at the guys wouldn't have helped him right now. He opened his eyes and saw Matt looking at him, hurt, but mostly confused. "I can't," Gerard said, and shook Frank's hand off him, walked into the kitchen next to the main hall. He hit speed-dial two on his phone.

Lindsey answered.

"Gerard?" Lindsey asked. "Why are you calling me on this phone?"

"What phone?" Gerard asked, confused. Why was Lindsey under speed-dial two?

"My studio phone?" Lindsey said. Oh. Well, that was disconcerting.

"Um, sorry," Gerard said. "Got a bit messed up. It's, Mikey's not here yet, and I don't know where he is, I meant to call him."

"Mikey?" Lindsey said, slowly, and fuck it, fucking hell. Gerard couldn't breathe.

"Lyn," he said. "You remember Mikey, right? The guys, they say—"

"I—"

The door to the kitchen opened and Frank and Ray walked through it, both looking concerned. Gerard turned away from them.

"Lindsey, please. Mikey, of course you remember Mikey."

"I'm sorry, Gerard," Lindsey said, sounding broken about it. "I don't. I don't know who you mean."

"But—" Gerard said, clutching the phone tighter. "What about Bandit? Can she remember him? Ask her if she remembers uncle Mikey."

"She's in the other room right now, Jimmy and Chantal came over. I'll. I'll ask her later, okay? I'll call you if she does."

Gerard put his hand on the kitchen island, and leaned against it. For a moment he was actually afraid his legs would give out.

"Gerard. Are you okay?" Lindsey's voice was echoing in his head, and he choked out a brief laugh. "Do you want us to come over? Do you want us to meet you at home?"

Gerard closed his eyes and tried to think. Lindsey had been going to the studio for the past week, finishing up pieces for the exhibition that was coming soon, he didn't want to pull her away from that. He didn't want to make her worry, either, though he didn't think he'd succeeded there.

"No, no, I'm. I'm fine, the guys are here. I mean, they can't remember Mikey, but— I'll be fine, I'll see you both later. It's fine."

"Gerard," Lindsey said again, sounding doubtful.

"No, really, I need to— I should talk to the guys anyway, like, how the fuck did we suddenly acquire another bass player, you know." He laughed humorlessly. God, this had to be some fucked up dream.

Still. He needed to talk to his band. And he needed to call Mikey. Mikey, who was not missing, who was there. He'd probably just slept in, been up all night watching monster movies with Alicia, something.

"Gerard," said Frank, gently, after he had said bye to Lindsey and hung up. "Who's Mikey?"

"He's my brother," Gerard said. It was collective amnesia or something. It had to be. He couldn't focus on this right now. He didn't try the other speed-dials, deciding instead to just find Mikey's number.

Mikey's number was not there. He scrolled through his phonebook twice, and then once more. It didn't magically appear.

"Gerard," Ray said, just as gently. "You've never had a brother. I— We're sorry, but we don't know what you're talking about."

Gerard squeezed his eyes shut. "No. No, you've just. You guys all have, like, amnesia or something and Mikey's just... late. That's all this is." He opened his eyes. That's all it was. Sure, it sucked that everyone suddenly had lost their memory, but that was all it was and Mikey was gonna walk through the front door in just a second. Gerard walked out of the kitchen so he wouldn't miss him coming in.

"Why were you going through your phone?" Frank asked as he and Ray followed him.

"To call him," Gerard bit out. "Obviously."

"Did you find his number?" Frank asked, slowly walking over to where Gerard was standing near the door, looking out the window next to it.

"It— The phone probably deleted it."

He took a breath and dialed the number from his memory.

“The number you have dialed is not in ser—” Gerard disconnected the call, his hand tightening on the phone.

Frank stepped close and placed his hand on Gerard's arm. Gerard fought the urge to throw it off. The calm feeling that had come over him when he'd seen Frank this morning had disappeared a while ago. Still, it wasn't his fault he didn't remember.

"Gerard— " Frank said, and Gerard grasped his hand, squeezing it tight.

"The phone deleted his number," he said tightly. "I... I got it wrong, and that’s why I couldn’t get through. He slept in, you— I don't know why you don't remember him, but he just slept in and he's going to get here soon. And we'll get your memory back and— Yes." Mikey had just slept in; Alicia too, probably. Gerard very determinedly didn't think about cars going too fast in the desert and crashing. He looked away from the window, at Frank.

Frank looked confused and a tiny bit scared.

"Gerard," Ray said by his shoulder. Gerard hadn't noticed him coming closer as well. "Maybe you should calm down—"

"Fuck, Ray," Gerard exclaimed and let go of Frank's hand to run his fingers through his hair. "How can I calm down when you guys have amnesia and my brother is not here?"

"Even Lindsey?" Ray asked, quietly. "Even she has amnesia?"

The feeling, the sound of wrongwrongwrong was growing in his head again, overwhelming, until his brain was screaming with it. He turned away from them and ran up the stairs to their practice space. There had to be some papers there—magazines, documents, anything. Proof that Mikey fucking existed. Maybe if he could just prove that to them, they'd remember again. Pedicone and Matt were standing in the upstairs hallway, talking, but they didn't stop him.

By the time Ray and Frank caught up with him, he'd torn up most of the papers, just shredded them in his wake as he went. Mikey hadn't been mentioned anywhere in the notes they had for recording. Most of the magazines hadn't had any articles of them—which he had destroyed just to fucking do something—but the ones that had... Mikey hadn't been in them.

It had been just the three of them, mentions of Cortez and Pedicone, Dewees, even Bob, but not a word about Mikey. Not even a "the lead singer's brother on the bass," nothing.

He wasn't in any of the pictures. Most of the covers were just Gerard, because magazines were like that, assuming he was the most important part of the band, like he could even carry this thing on his own. They were used to it, though. The pictures inside had Ray and Frank in them, and in some of them they were together, but Gerard was alone. Mikey wasn't there. The photos he remembered, of the two of them... There was nothing. Gerard was alone.

He couldn't breathe. Frank was shaking him, and he could hear people crowding into the room, calling out, but—

Mikey. MikeyMikeyMikey. Mikey wasn't there.

~

"Jesus fuck," Frank said when Gerard opened his eyes and found himself lying on the couch in the lounge. "What the fuck was that, Gerard?"

He was sitting on the floor near Gerard's head, and Gerard wanted Frank to tell him that it had all been a fucking dream or that they had been messing around. He wanted that so badly. He knew Frank wouldn't, though. The quiet hum was still in Gerard's head, getting stronger as he woke up more, and everything felt off in this awful, horrible way.

"You really scared us there, Gee," Ray said. He was sitting on the other side of the couch, Gerard's legs on his lap.

"I—" Gerard says. "How long was I out for?"

"Five minutes," Frank said. "Maybe less. Still was fucking terrifying, though."

"Sorry," Gerard said, and pushed himself up to a sitting position. Ray tightened his hold on Gerard's feet and Frank shuffled over to sit near Ray's legs. "How did I get on the couch?"

"We carried you," Frank said. Gerard raised his eyebrows at him. "Well, fine, Ray and Pedicone carried you," Frank grumbled.

"Where—"

"He's down in the kitchen with Matt," Ray said. Right. Matt. Gerard almost wished it was someone he didn't know at all, because he liked Matt. Turned out he'd hate anyone for not being Mikey, though.

"I'm sorry I scared you. I didn't mean—" He paused. They probably though he'd lost his fucking head. To be fair, he did accuse them of having amnesia. "You... You have to believe me, though. Fuck, please tell me you believe me."

Ray glanced at Frank and back at Gerard.

"So you still think—"

"Fuck," Gerard said and grabbed Ray's hand. "I don't think anything, I know. I have a brother, his name is Mikey and he's our bass player. I don't know what's happened and why you can't remember him and why he's not in any of the pictures with us or in the articles, but— It's Mikey."

Ray looked worried, still, but he wrapped his fingers around Gerard's hand.

Gerard turned his head and looked at Frank. "You trust me, right?"

Frank looked confused, even baffled, but he nodded. "Yeah," he said. "We trust you, Gee."

Gerard looked back at Ray. Ray nodded, too, even though his eyes were still worried. Even his hair looked worried. That's what Mikey usually said, that Ray's hair picked up on his mood. Gerard swallowed painfully.

"I don't know what happened," he said and looked down at their hands clasped together. "I don't know, but we have to find him, we have to."

"But Gerard," Ray said, and Gerard whipped his head up to meet his gaze. "We— We trust you, but— Where do we even start? We don't even remember him. There's not a trace of him anywhere."

Gerard pressed his eyes closed and Ray finished, "It's like he never existed."

"No," Gerard choked out. "No, he—"

Frank got up and sat down on his other side, and pulled him close. "We'll find him, Gee," he said. "We'll figure it out."

Gerard swallowed and nodded, his cheek pressed against Frank's chest, hand still grasping Ray's.

"I should call Alicia," he said, voice muffled. "Yeah. Yes. I should call her." He pulled away from Frank and took out his phone.

It rang for a while, but eventually, Alicia picked up.

"Hi," she said, cheerily at first, but then her voice changed. "Um, who is this?"

"Alicia, it's Gerard," he said, and held his breath.

"... Gerard?"

"Um, Mikey's brother?" Fuck, Alicia didn't even recognize him. He could swear she had when she first picked up the phone.

"... Okay, Mikey's brother. Who's Mikey?"

Gerard wondered if he should just hang up or answer honestly. "Uh. Your husband?" he offered at last.

Alicia laughed. "Hilarious." Gerard closed his eyes. He'd always liked hearing her laugh, especially because it made Mikey smile so big. He loved her almost like a sister and she didn't even remember him.

"Sorry, bye," he choked out and hung up with shaking hands.

"Wife?" Frank asked, drawing him in closer again.

Gerard nodded and leaned back on the couch, rearranging their limbs so his legs were stretched out and he was leaning against Ray, Frank under his other arm.

"Well. Fuck," Frank said, and Gerard agreed.

~

"So... Is it like an alternate universe?" Frank asked later. Pedicone and Matt had left after Ray had gone to talk to them about the situation. They had offered to stay, but apparently Ray had told them maybe it was better if they wouldn't, and Gerard was glad, even though he felt bad about it. "Are you an alternate universe Gerard?"

Gerard frowned and shook his head. "No, I don't think so. Nothing else is different. You guys are all the same as you were yesterday."

"Well, isn't— Aren't the differences in parallel worlds sometimes only little things?"

Gerard raised his head, and Frank seemed to realize what he'd said. "Fuck. That's not what I— I'm sorry, Gee."

Gerard shook it off. "It's okay. And that's not what I mean, it's... If this is a universe where Mikey was never born then other things would be different too, right? But they're exactly the same, except for..." He suddenly didn't want to think about this anymore. He couldn't handle it, he could feel himself unraveling. He couldn't handle the fact that his brother wasn't here.

"Gerard, breathe," Ray said, a calming hand on his shoulder. "Breathe."

Gerard closed his eyes and sucked in a breath. They had to figure it out, they had to. They had to get Mikey back.

"Okay, so if it isn't an alternate universe then it's like... like he just dropped off the face of the planet," Frank said. "Well. Things like that don't just happen. There has to be a reason."

"A reason?" Gerard repeated, glancing over at Frank. Frank looked thoughtful.

"Yeah, like, someone trying to teach you a lesson, or someone you pissed off, or— Hey, maybe someone's trying to show Mikey what the world would be like if he was never born?"

Ray scrunched up his nose. "I don't think—"

"That doesn't make any sense, because nothing is different," Gerard exploded. None of this made any sense. He didn't need to learn any lessons when it came to this, he was sure of it. And no one could make Gerard appreciate Mikey more by taking him away from Gerard. He didn't think it was possible for him to appreciate Mikey any more than he did, always had.

"Then I guess... I guess he just disappeared," Frank said.

Gerard buried his face against Ray's shoulder and tried desperately not to think.

~

Gerard drove home as soon as he'd assured Frank and Ray that he was okay to leave and he would be fine. More or less. Ray had offered to come with him and Frank had nodded along with him, but they had guitar tracks to lay down and Gerard felt like he had to do this alone.

He went by Mikey and Alicia's house, but he could see from afar that it wasn't theirs, not anymore. It seemed empty, and when he got closer he could see a big "For sale" sign next to it. He kept driving.

As soon as he got home, he wished the guys had come with him. Now that Lindsey and Bandit weren't there, the place didn't calm him down at all.

He called Lindsey again and she promised they'd be there as soon as possible.

Gerard took a deep breath and went to search the house. It was weird how everything looked exactly the same. Everything except the pictures. It seemed like Mikey had just been cut out of them. He desperately wanted to put this down as some prank, but talking to the guys had forced him to accept that that wasn't it. It was like Ray had said. "Like he'd never existed."

Except Gerard knew that couldn't be it, either. Not really. If Mikey never— Gerard wouldn't be here now. There was no way he could be exactly here; exactly where he was yesterday, when Mikey had still been here. There was just no way. He knew the guys hadn't understood when he'd told them that.

He ended up in the living room and sat down on the couch, buried his face in his hands. How could everyone else just forget?

He wanted to call his mom. Maybe she'd... He couldn't. He didn't think he could handle her forgetting Mikey, too. At least not right now.

He didn't know how long he sat there, but finally the door opened and Bandit came running toward him.

"Daddy, look what I made!"

She stopped in front of him, holding out a papier-mâché animal. It looked more like a dragon than a horse, he decided.

"It's awesome," he said, and brushed the hair away from her face, smiling at her.

She beamed back, and then Lindsey walked in and said, "Maybe you should take the dragon into your room, Bandit."

She dashed off and Lindsey crossed the room to instantly pull Gerard into a hug. He clung on, grateful, and buried his head in her hair.

"What's wrong?" she asked, after just letting him breathe her in for a bit.

He pulled back and shook his head, he didn't even know where to fucking start.

She took his hand and pulled him up. "Come on, let's talk in the kitchen."

~

Lindsey didn't remember Mikey, and she didn't remember Alicia, but she believed him. She sat with him at the kitchen table, her hand over his, and she believed him and trusted him and Gerard knew he'd never figure out how he had ever manged to get this lucky.

"I just... I don't understand how people could forget him," Gerard said for what felt like the hundredth time. He was focused on that, on that one fact that people had forgotten, because if he started thinking about how Mikey was nowhere to be found, he could feel his whole body tightening up and it became painful to breathe. "Fuck, how could anyone who has ever known him forget him, you know?"

He'd had Lindsey call his mom, because he was a coward. He just. He couldn't do it.

She hadn't remembered any Mikeys. He had told Lindsey not to tell her. He didn't want to worry her.

"If I could just make them remember again..." He trailed off, staring unseeingly at the kitchen table.

"I— What does he look like?" Lindsey asked, and Gerard raised his head to look at her.

"He—" He didn't know how to go on. He felt like it was impossible to describe Mikey, especially as of late. Skinny, tall, blond hair, nothing of that really conveyed Mikey.

"You do remember, right?" Lindsey asked, not suspicious, just worried.

Gerard nodded. "It's just hard to— I wish there was a picture of him left." He stopped and thought about it.

Then he rose up abruptly, almost knocking his chair over.

"I can paint him," Gerard said. "I should paint him." Of course. He would paint Mikey and maybe if— Maybe if they saw him, they'd remember and he'd come back. Maybe.

He stumbled when he took a step forward and Lindsey rose up, too.

"Hey," she said. "Maybe you should do that later, get some rest now. You look like you could fall asleep right here."

Gerard wanted to argue with that—how could he not go right now if that might bring Mikey back, how could he sleep—but she was right. His eyes were crossing and he felt exhausted and weak. He couldn't draw Mikey right now, what if he got it wrong. The thought alone was horrible.

And maybe... Maybe he would wake up and everything would be all right again. "Maybe I'll wake up and he'll be here," he said.

"Maybe," said Lindsey, and she didn't sound skeptical or placating. She sounded hopeful. Fuck, Gerard loved her so much. "Come on, let's go say goodnight to Bandit."

~

Despite his fear, Gerard slept soundly, but when he woke up, Mikey wasn't back. He could tell right away, and the loss, again, was almost like a punch to the gut.

Lindsey was still sleeping, and he kissed the back of her neck, her shoulder, before slipping out of bed and going into his studio in the garage.

That was where Bandit found him, many hours later, working on his second drawing of Mikey. The first had been just a sketch. He'd been so afraid that he'd start drawing and what would come out wouldn't be Mikey, so he had quickly drawn him as he'd looked right after he'd gotten laser surgery, his eyes huge and wondering, face looking vulnerable without the glasses.

Now he was working on a painting of him on stage, in his striped green shirt, his bass reflecting the stage lights. He thought he should just point a detailed picture of his face, soon, to make it easier for the others to recognize him, but he thought the ones he already had conveyed Mikey pretty well, too.

Bandit had stopped in front of the first drawing. Gerard held his breath, but she didn't say anything about it. She turned around and smiled at him, then crawled up on the table behind him, settling in to watch him paint. Gerard took a deep breath and smiled back. Suddenly, he didn't want to know if she remembered or not. It had to work. He'd ask Lindsey when she came down. He glanced at the picture again.

"Did you sleep well, Bumblebee?" he asked Bandit. He turned his head and she nodded at him. "Do you want breakfast?"

"No," she said. "I want to watch you."

He was almost done with the painting when Bandit spoke: "Daddy, where's..."

She didn't finish her sentence. Gerard turned around and took a step closer to her.

"Where's who, sweetheart?" She— Some part of her knew, Gerard thought. She knew someone was missing. He felt brief relief: he wasn’t being delusional.

She looked confused, and frowned. "I don't remember."

He swallowed painfully and lifted a hand up to her cheek. "That's okay. Don't worry about it." He didn't want to upset her by asking her to remember. He didn't want to see her frown.

Bandit pulled away from his hand and laughed, her eyes twinkling. "Daddy, now my face is dirty. Again."

Shit, he hadn't even noticed he had a brush in that hand. He smiled back at her and said, "It's not dirty, it's colorful."

She shook her head and her hair went everywhere. He sighed. "Still, you should go and wash up. And get some breakfast."

She threw her hands up at him and he lifted her down.

"Are you coming, too?" she asked.

"Soon. Go on now, let Mommy make you something."

He watched her run out the door, then ran a hand over his face and went back to his painting.

~

Lindsey came down soon after.

She didn't recognize Mikey.

"I'm sorry," she said, when he quietly placed the brush on the table, even though inside he felt like destroying everything until the world gave him Mikey back.

"Fuck. Fuck, Lyn, it's not your fault."

She reached for him and gathered him up in a hug, his head on her shoulder, face hidden in her neck.

Eventually Bandit tumbled in and demanded to know why Daddy was sad.

Gerard lifted her up and wrapped her in a hug. "Daddy's not sad, Daddy just misses someone. But you don't have to worry about it."

"Are you sure?" she asked, the skeptical voice of a three-year-old.

"As long as you're here, Daddy's not sad," he said, and when she was in his arms, it felt like it was true.

~

He didn't stop painting that day, fixing up the ones he already had and thinking of new ones, and Bandit hardly left his side. She stayed in the garage, drawing herself, and Gerard felt so much better when she was there.

He did tell her to go out and play with something else for a bit, or go see what Mommy was doing, promising her he wouldn't get sad when she left. He hated that he made her worry. He hated that he made Lindsey worry, as well.

He took a picture of one of the paintings and put it up on his blog on their site. The comments were either appreciative or asking him who the guy was or both. There wasn't even a single comment about fucking unicorns. Gerard would have gladly taken even that now.

He called anyone he could think of, not saying anything specific, mostly just asking when was the last time they'd spoken to Mikey. Some people seemed to remember, at first. Pete Wentz had started to answer, but then had forgotten what he'd been saying. Gabe had laughed at first, cheerful, but then gone wary. The conversations all ended the same way. No one knew who he was talking about.

He felt exhausted, wrung out, when he left the garage and went into the house when Bandit ran to tell him that Uncle Frank and Uncle Ray were here. They were in the living room, talking quietly to Lindsey. Gerard threw himself onto the couch next to Lindsey and closed his eyes, leaning against her.

"Maybe Frank and Ray should have a look at your paintings," Lindsey suggested, her hand going into his hair, gentle.

Gerard opened his eyes and nodded at them, sitting in the armchairs, made a waving motion with his hand. They knew where his studio was. He didn't want to be there when they didn't recognize him. It had been a long day.

He still hoped, though, and held his breath when they walked back into the room. It was no use.

Ray looked regretful. "Sorry."

Gerard shook his head, but then Frank added: "He looks hot."

Gerard spluttered and Ray looked shocked. "What?"

Frank shrugged. "He does! Come on, you can't really argue me on that."

"He's my brother!"

"Your hot brother," Frank said, grinning, and for a second Gerard felt like everything was okay, and Mikey was just in the kitchen, getting another cup of coffee or something.

"Are you saying he's the hot one?" Gerard demanded.

"Well, obviously." Ray nodded along thoughtfully.

"Ray!" Gerard squeaked, indignant. Mikey wasn't that much hotter than him.

Lindsey laughed by his side and Frank giggled. Everything was okay, just for a moment, and then the absence he had felt since last morning was back, even stronger than before. He didn't know what the others saw on his face, but they fell quiet as well.

"We'll find him, Gee," Frank offered again, and Gerard nodded. They had to.

~

That night he barely got any sleep, plagued by nightmares of Mikey. Falling, walking away, disappearing right in front of his eyes. Gerard kept reaching out to him, kept running after him, trying to grasp him as he faded away, but he would never succeed.

He didn't have any plans for the day since Frank and Ray had suggested they put off recording for a while. Gerard had agreed gratefully, but now he was stuck in the house with nothing to do but worry. Then again, he realized he didn't want to go out, not at all. It felt like outside would be different, or should be different and Gerard wasn't sure which was worse. He went into the garage and started working on another picture of Mikey.

Ray had promised that he'd find someone to look into Mikey's disappearance, see if they could find any traces of him. He said he'd call as soon as he heard anything. Gerard had thought about calling Alicia again, himself. He didn't think she'd know anything, but he missed talking to her. He picked up his phone one afternoon to call and didn't find Alicia's number in it. He was trying very carefully not to hyperventilate when Bandit ran in and demanded a hug and a kiss because she'd gotten a papercut. He drew her close and concentrated on breathing.

~

It would have made sense for him to lose track of time. After all, that almost always happened when he was drawing, and it seemed he was doing little else now. Instead, he was painfully aware of every day that passed. Every morning he woke up and knew that Mikey was not there.

Lindsey tried to coax him to do more than just painting: write, get in touch with other people. Ray had called one night to say that his contact, whoever the fuck that was, had found no sign of Mikey. Grant had called one morning and Gerard had told him everything. Grant had believed him. Gerard hadn't really doubted he would. It didn't help. Nothing was fucking helping, nothing worked, except— Maybe the pictures. Even though people looked at them and saw just an unfamiliar guy, not Mikey, Gerard still felt like they could help. Somehow. Lindsey just kissed his temple when he confessed that to her. She didn't stop suggesting that he step out of his studio every now and then, but she didn't insist. Gerard kept painting.

~

Frank and Ray came to visit again, soon. It had been six days since Mikey had disappeared. Gerard knew, he was counting.

"Hey," said Frank, pulling Gerard into a hug when he met them at the door. "We're here for another brainstorming session."

"Brainstorming?" Gerard glanced over Frank's shoulder to Ray and extended a hand to draw him into the hug as well.

"Yeah," Frank said after they'd disentangled themselves. "We're gonna figure this shit out."

"Uncle Frank! Uncle Ray!" Bandit ran into the hallway, squealing.

"Hey, Bee." Frank picked her up and twirled her around. "How are you, Bumblebee?"

"Good," Bandit giggled.

"That's good," Frank said, giggling right back at her, and set her down.

"Hey, boys," Lindsey said, coming to join them near the door, her jacket and bag in hand. "I gotta step out, Gee, we're out of half the earth-tone acrylics."

"Shit, really?" Gerard was sure they'd had enough of that just a week ago or so. Lindsey smiled at him, and ran a hand through his hair.

"Anyway, Bandit asked to come with me, so you boys make sure you won't get into any sort of trouble. Right, Bee?" She leaned down to whisper into her ear: "Can't leave them alone for one second." Bandit giggled again, and Gerard wrapped her up in a hug and gave Lindsey a kiss before they left.

"So, brainstorming?" Gerard asked as they were walking into the living room.

"We thought we should try to make more sense of this," Ray said, flopping down onto the couch. "Maybe it'd, you know, help."

Gerard shook his head, frowning. "Haven't we... I mean, I'm not saying that we've done enough, because we clearly haven't seeing as he's still not here—" His voice broke, and he swallowed before continuing. "But I don't know how we could make more sense of this. That's the thing, it doesn't make sense."

"Maybe there are, like, hidden clues or something." Frank had sat down in one of the armchairs, looking through some albums.

"Hidden clues?" Gerard asked, confused.

"Yeah, like, you said he was gone from all the pictures and such, maybe that was a clue."

"A clue?"

"Yeah!" Frank said, clearly enthused. "Like. Maybe it means he disappeared into... Like, a mirror or something."

"Why would that—" Ray was cut off by Gerard, who strode forward and took one of the albums from Frank. It was theirs, and Gerard was wondering what Frank was doing with it, but then he looked at it more closely, and froze.

"What the fuck is this?" he asked, staring at The Black Parade. "Why do you have it with you?"

"Um, it's our album, Gerard," Frank said, slowly. "And it was lying on the table."

Bandit must have left it there, Gerard thought. She sometimes liked looking through the albums, and theirs were her favourites.

"What is it, Gerard?" Ray asked, sounding confused.

"This." Gerard showed him the CD. "I don't know half these songs." He looked at it again. "There's no... Fuck, of course there's no Disenchanted. Fuck." He sank into the other armchair, clutching on to the CD. Fuck. They'd never put it on. Mikey had never told them to. No, no, he had, Gerard remembered that he had, and even though they didn't play it at all anymore and didn't want to play it again the fact that it wasn't here felt like another punch. That wasn't it, either, there were other songs missing and new ones at their places. It was all wrong. Gerard hadn't even realized how wrong the whole world was, not just his world. All of it.

He threw the CD down onto the couch and buried his face in his hands.

"Gerard." He could hear Frank getting up and coming to stand in front of him. When his hand landed on Gerard's shoulder he raised his head and looked up at him.

"What I don't get, Frankie, is how can the album even be half the same. How can we still have made it?"

Frank looked uncertain. "What do you mean, Gee?"

"I mean," Gerard said, getting up, Frank's hand falling off him. "How the fuck can I even be here when Mikey isn't and supposedly never was. Look at this." He extended his hands, gesturing at the room. "How can any of this be here? Like... Fuck, like, just look at these."

He strode over to the closest shelf and started pulling CDs and DVDs out randomly. "This one we bought together, this one he recommended to me. This one was a gift, this one I borrowed from him; this one I found on my own, but I remember having him listen to it. This was also a gift; this one I got for him and we watched it together a few weeks ago, he must have forgotten it here." He was handing them all to Frank who had come to stand next to him. "This one..."

"Gerard," Frank said.

"I think this one I also got for him, but forgot to give it to him..."

"Gerard," Frank said, more urgently.

Gerard looked over to Frank. He was staring at Gerard, obviously freaked out.

"What? What is it?"

Frank waved his empty hands in front of Gerard's face. Gerard frowned.

"What—"

"They're gone," Frank squeaked.

"Holy shit," Ray said, getting up from the couch and coming over to inspect Frank's hands.

"They fucking disappeared as you were handing them to me. I— What. What the fuck is going on."

Gerard leaned heavily against the shelf. "No."

"Is it," Ray said, uncertainly. "Do you think it's like the universe is fixing itself or something?"

Gerard rubbed his forehead and focused on breathing. Everything was changing, disappearing. How long would it take before it stopped being just CDs and phone numbers? What else could go missing... Fuck. Everything. Everything could go missing. There was no way Gerard would be here without Mikey, he knew that. Would he disappear as well? Or would just all signs of Mikey ever having existed be lost. Would Gerard forget him then?

It couldn't happen. It wouldn't.

"Gerard," Ray said, lifting a hand to clasp his shoulder.

"We have to stop this," Gerard said, looking at both of them in turn. "We can't let this happen."

"But." Frank stopped and looked up, visibly frustrated. "But how do we do that?"

Gerard shook his head and turned away from them. He didn't know.

~

It had been a week since the nightmares had started when Gerard woke up in the middle of the night with a clear picture of Mikey in his head, lost and scared, behind bars in some sort of cage. He was huddled into himself, arms wrapped around his legs. He looked cold. Gerard ached with it. His eyes, though. They were clear and focused. He didn't look like he'd given up, and Gerard knew, even though he'd only seen vague flashes before, nothing this specific, that it had all been real. And Mikey hadn't given up and Gerard wouldn't give up on Mikey. He'd get him back.

He went into the garage and set off to paint.

He focused on the look on Mikey's face; his hair framing it, the blond almost grown out. He didn't include the bars in the picture, instead emphasizing the determined way his mouth was set, his chin resting on one of his knees, the strong grip he had on his arms. He spent longest on Mikey's eyes, but finally he felt like he'd done them justice. He was staring at the ground in front of him, looking small and cold to anyone else, but Gerard could see that there was hope in his eyes, and strength. Neither of them had given up.

When Gerard was done, he took the painting down and put it on the garage wall, sat down on the couch in front of it, and curled up, mirroring Mikey's pose. He'd get him back.

~

Bandit showed up to say goodbye to him after a little while, since Lindsey was going to the studio this morning and taking her with. She looked at the painting and Gerard could still feel himself hoping that maybe they'd remember, just like that, by looking at him, at Mikey. He could feel it, this one was more special than the others, it was stronger. It was Mikey. It had to work at some point.

"Daddy, is he cold?" Bandit asked. "You should have painted him something to keep warm."

Gerard blinked at her and opened his arms so she could come hug him. "I will next time, okay. Promise."

She nodded into his shoulder. "Good. I don't want him to be cold."

"Me neither, honey," he said, and hugged her tighter.

He came to the kitchen to join Bandit and Lindsey for breakfast before they left for Lindsey's studio. Lindsey kissed him and threw him his phone before leaving. "Frank and Ray are coming over later. Don't forget to eat something, okay."

Gerard nodded, waved them goodbye, and went back into the garage.

~

Gerard hadn't realized he'd fallen asleep until someone shook him awake. For a second he thought he was back home in New Jersey and Mikey was trying to wake him up before school. He blinked his eyes open, and felt a small pang of disappointment when he saw it was Ray.

"Hey, Gerard," Ray said. "Don't tell me you spent the night here."

Gerard threw him an indignant look and Ray raised his hands. "Just checking, man."

"Whoa, Gee," Frank said, and Gerard looked over to see him standing in front of the painting. "That is— Whoa."

"Do you remember?" Gerard asked, like he asked every time, because he just couldn't stop himself from doing it, even though he never got back the answer he wanted to hear.

Frank shook his head and glanced back at Gerard, his face sad. Gerard sighed and leaned back against the couch. "What time is it?"

"After one," Ray said. "We weren't sure if we should wake you, but Lindsey told us to make sure you ate, so."

Gerard waved his arm, almost hitting Ray in the face with it. Frank laughed and came by to sit at the foot of the couch. "I'm fine, I had, like, breakfast."

"Which was when?" Ray asked.

"... In the morning?" Gerard offered. "It was totally light outside!" Ray sighed and Frank leaned his head back, staring up at Gerard.

"You sure it wasn't yesterday morning?" he teased. Gerard pushed him in the shoulder with his foot, and Frank grabbed his ankle.

"Yes, I'm sure," Gerard grumbled, after he'd gotten his foot back from Frank's hold, almost having fallen off the couch in the process. He pressed his face into the couch pillows, and stretched his legs out over Ray's. There was companionable silence for a while, and Gerard felt almost okay, until Ray broke it.

"Gerard... We also wanted to talk with you about recording."

Gerard closed his eyes and thought about pretending he didn't hear. He felt shitty about that, though, so he forced himself up and met Ray's eyes. "Could we just— Can't we just wait a bit longer?" he asked, not even fighting the note of desperation in his voice.

"Gerard," Frank said, and Gerard tore his eyes away from Ray, looking at Mikey instead, Mikey in the painting on the wall. He didn't want to record without Mikey. He didn't think he could, and even if he could, fuck, he didn't want to. It was Mikey. He'd always been there, always, whether in physical form, or just in spirit; close enough to touch, to lean against, or just a phone call away. And now there was just nothing, nothing at all, and Gerard didn't know how he could deal with this any longer.

He pushed off from the couch and went to stand in front of the painting, staring at Mikey. "Guys, I'm sorry, but I. I can't." He took a breath, and they didn't interrupt him. "It's not just that he's not here, or that I don't understand how I could still be here if he's not. It. You remember the CD thing?" He turned his head to look at them and they nodded. He looked back at Mikey. "I can... I can almost feel how the world is trying to erase all signs of him, all of it. Some of our photos disappeared yesterday." That had really freaked him out. "Not the ones he'd been in before, the ones he'd taken. And if I just. If we go back and start recording then. Fuck, I'm so afraid I'll forget. But I know that even if I will, that feeling inside won't go away, and I'll still miss him, and I won't even know what I'm missing." Until he said it, he hadn't even been aware how scared of that he was.

"Gee," Frank said, but Gerard shook his head.

"And it's not... He's gone, he's gone, and someone took him. He hasn't just stopped existing, he's out there somewhere, and I have to find him. Fuck." He hit the wall next to the painting. "Fuck, we have to find him."

"Gerard."

"We will find him," Gerard said, suddenly calmer than he'd been before. "We'll find you," he told Mikey, and put his hand on the painting. It hadn't completely dried yet, and his hand felt cold. Then the surface of the painting rippled, and Gerard's hand went through, disappearing into it.

Gerard stared at it for a second. Mikey. Was that where—? Mikey.

He threw himself through the painting without hesitation. The world swirled around him and went black.

~

When Gerard woke up, he was in a forest. It must have been a forest, there were trees fucking everywhere and dirt beneath him. He raised his head and looked around, spotting Frank on the ground not far from him, staring back at him. Fuck.

"You guys didn't have to follow me," Gerard said, rolling over and pushing himself up to his knees.

"You disappeared through a painting," Frank said, standing up shakily and glaring at Gerard. "We didn't really have the time to think it through."

Gerard stared at him in confusion. "The… portal, or whatever it was, was closing," Ray said, and Gerard looked over to where Ray was sitting, his knees and hands scraped.

"Fuck, Ray, are you okay?"

Ray nodded, looking at his hands. "Fine. Just a few scratches."

Gerard got up as well and together with Frank they helped Ray up.

"Guys, I'm fine," Ray said, rolling his eyes.

"You still shouldn't have—" Gerard fell silent under their reproachful looks.

"Come on, Gee," Frank said. "You know we couldn't have let you do this alone. I mean... You would have followed us, right?"

"Of course," Gerard said automatically. "But..." But they had no idea where they were or how to get back and what if they never did get back, what about Lindsey and Bandit and Jamia and the twins and Christa and... "What about everyone back home?"

Frank shrugged, but Gerard could tell it was bothering him as well. "It'll be fine. We'll find Mikey and get back home soon."

Ray nodded. "I wish we could have left a note or something so they wouldn't worry, but... They'll be fine. We'll be back home in no time."

Gerard wanted to point out that they didn't know that, and couldn't be really sure of anything, but he knew that would do them no good. The faster they found Mikey the faster they could get back. The faster they found him the less of a chance there was of someone hurting him. Gerard knew what he'd seen in his dream must have been real. Mikey was alive and he hadn't seemed hurt and he was going to keep it that way.

Still, a part of him was terrified that they'd never get back, none of them, and it'd be all his fault. God, what about Lindsey and Bandit? Gerard knew, he knew that even if he never got back, they’d eventually be okay. They were strong and— Fuck, they had to find Mikey as soon as possible so they could all get home. He couldn’t bear the thought of making them worry. The thought that he could lose them. It must have shown on his face, because suddenly he was engulfed in a group hug, the comforting warmth of his band surrounding him. He closed his eyes and hung on.

~

"So do you think we're in some sort of parallel world?" Frank asked, pausing to kick at a pebble on the ground. They had set down a road they'd found not far from the clearing they'd woken up in.

Gerard shrugged. "Possibly. I mean. Yeah, I don't think we're in our world anymore."

"And you think this is where your brother is?" Ray asked, walking close to Gerard, staring at the woods around them with a look of suspicion on his face. Gerard was pretty sure it wasn't meant for him.

"Well, if we went through a painting of him to someplace he isn't even at then I, for one, am going to be pissed," Frank put in from behind them.

Gerard shook his head, frustrated. "He has to be here."

"Hey, Gee," Frank said. "Gee." He caught up to him and bumped his shoulder into Gerard's. "Hey." Gerard looked down at him, at his open, trusting face. Fuck, he would have called them crazy for following him if he didn't know that was exactly what he would have done, too. "Then we'll find him," Frank said, gently. "We'll find him, okay."

Gerard swallowed and nodded. "Yes. Yeah, okay."

They walked in silence for a while. The woods next to the road didn't change much, and thankfully the road didn't disappear either. Gerard actually had no idea where they were going, but he still felt a little bit better, because he felt like they were at least one step closer to finding Mikey. They'd get him back. He'd get him back and Frank and Ray would help.

"Gerard," Ray said some moments later. "You said you painted most of the pictures because of nightmares you had?"

Gerard dragged a hand through his head and nodded jerkily. For some reason he didn't want to take his eyes off the road lest it disappear.

"What do you remember about them?"

"Um." Gerard glanced over at Ray who was looking at him intently, and then back at the road. "Not much, really. They were realistic, but pretty random. I just recently saw him in that cage—”

"Cage?" Frank interrupted. "You didn't paint a cage."

"Well, yeah, I didn't really... want to. I mean, it was. It wasn't like a real cage, I guess, there were just bars. So a cell, more like. Like a dungeon."

"A dungeon," Ray repeated. "What, like. Like in a castle? Or just somewhere underground?"

"Fuck, Ray, I don't know," Gerard said. "I didn't see anything else." But that wasn't exactly true, he realized, as he tried to think back to the dreams. There'd... Perhaps there had been some sort of towers. Mikey wasn't in them, he knew that much, but maybe Ray was right. Maybe it was a castle. "Maybe it is a castle."

"Awesome," Frank said from his other side. "Do you think we'll have to fight a dragon?"

Gerard sighed and looked up from the road, at Frank. "You wish."

"Come on, man," Frank said, grinning. "Like you wouldn't want to fight a dragon."

"I'd like to see a dragon," Gerard said, reasonably.

"I wouldn't." Ray shook his head. "My hair is too flammable."

Frank laughed, and Gerard felt a little lighter.

~

The road didn't get any wider, but they wound up near a small creek soon. They were staring at the water, contemplating whether it was safe to drink, when they were surrounded by two girls. Gerard was baffled at how two girls could surround them, but that was certainly what it looked like.

The taller girl, standing next to Ray with a knife on his throat, spoke. "Who are you and what are you doing here. Speak quickly."

Ray swallowed, the knife almost grazing his throat.

The shorter one was pointing a sword at Frank and a crossbow at Gerard.

"We're just trying to find someone," Gerard said, while Frank glared at the shorter girl. "We're sorry if we're trespassing, we're looking for someone."

"Who?" the taller one said, her attention shifting to Gerard. Her hand didn't move away from Ray's throat.

"My brother," Gerard answered, not looking away from the knife. He knew he should probably pay attention to the crossbow, but even if he did and went off, it's not like he could have done anything. He could see Ray starting to sweat.

"And why would your brother be here?" the shorter girl asked.

"Because... I. He went missing, and I couldn't find him anywhere, and this is where the painting brought us."

The hand with the knife was pulled a bit away from Ray's throat, just a bit.

"Painting," the taller one repeated.

Gerard nodded, helplessly. "It worked like a portal, I guess, and now we're here. We really don't want any trouble, please. I just have to find my brother."

The taller one looked away from Gerard and at the shorter girl. Gerard didn't know what she saw on her companion’s face, but she pulled her hand away from Ray's throat, and Gerard could see the other one lowering the crossbow and sword in his periphery vision. Both Gerard and Frank instantly moved closer to him, and Ray leaned on Gerard. Gerard took the brief moment to study the girls more carefully. They both had black hair and dark skin, wearing shorts, a shirt with a vest on it—a good place to hang more weapons from, apparently—and really awesome boots.

The taller one slipped her knife into a pouch on her hip, and the other one slid her sword into the scabbard but didn't put away the crossbow. "You okay, man?" Gerard heard Frank whispering to Ray. Gerard could feel Ray's hair brush against the side of his head as he nodded.

"My name's Rachael," the taller one said. "I am in charge of looking over our lands."

"Merrin," said the shorter one. "I'm the muscle, so to speak. My friends call me Mer."

"I think it's safe to say we're not considered to be friends," Frank offered, still eying her crossbow.

She grinned, wide. "I think you're right in your assumption, little one."

"I'm the same height as you!" Frank said, indignant, and then shifted even closer to Gerard and Ray.

Merrin raised an eyebrow, still grinning, and Gerard saw a small smile flicker over Rachael's face. Then she met his eyes and looked at him, expectant.

"Oh!" Gerard said, momentarily surprised. "Right. I'm Gerard." The others introduces themselves as well and Rachael nodded, as if pleased.

"Okay then," she said. "Let's talk."

~

Gerard took another sip of the water the girls had given them, as Frank explained how no one but Gerard could remember Mikey. They had taken them a little further down the stream and quickly prepared a spot where they could all sit down. Merrin got up periodically, but it didn't seem like she was checking out their surroundings or anything. Mostly it seemed like she just wanted to stretch her legs. Gerard was grateful to be sitting, since his own legs were pretty tired, but he felt anxious at the same time, eager to be on the move. To find Mikey.

"— and seriously, it's like he never even existed," Frank said, while Ray nodded.

"Tell them about the CDs," Ray put in. "And the songs."

"Fuck, yes, this CD Gerard said Mikey had suggested to him, it disappeared! Right in front of my eyes, too."

Gerard hunched over a bit more, drawing his legs closer to himself. He was glad Frank and Ray were the ones talking about this. He didn't really want to think about it. He kept trying to tell himself that everything would be fine now. They'd find Mikey and everything would be okay. The feeling of discontent had started to fade a bit when they'd gotten here, and Gerard thought that must certainly be a sign, but they still had no idea how to find Mikey, and to get back home. There was a really tiny part of him that didn't even care about getting home. All he wanted was to get Mikey back. He pushed that thought away, though, and found that it was easy to do. Unfortunately that meant he was still worrying about two things they didn't have answers to.

"Can you describe the portal to me?" Rachael asked, bringing Gerard out of his thoughts.

Gerard shrugged. "It was... It was in a painting? It was just, like, ripples ran over the painting and my hand went through it. And then I... Well, went after my hand."

Rachael arched one eyebrow, looking faintly amused. Her expression sobered quickly, though, and she looked at all of them in turn, before focusing on Gerard again.

"We may know where your brother is being kept."

Gerard felt a sudden pang of hope bubbling up inside him, grabbed onto it and didn't let go. "Where?"

"How do you know that?" Frank demanded.

"Do you know who has taken him?" Ray put in. Gerard had been briefly amazed at how Ray was conversing so calmly with the person who had just held a knife to his neck, but then again, it was Ray. He was nothing if not professional.

"Where is he?" Gerard repeated.

"Okay, okay, one at a time," Merrin said, sitting down next to Rachael again. Rachael threw her a look and she shrugged in response.

"We're quite certain he's being kept in a castle, not that far from here."

"A castle?" Ray repeated.

"A dungeon," Gerard breathed, thinking back to his dream. Fuck, Mikey.

"Look, can't you just tell us what is going on here." Frank was glaring at both of them in turn, and Gerard thought about telling him to back off since he didn't really want to lose the only leads to Mikey they had.

"Please," Gerard said. "Just tell us what you know." Merrin raised an eyebrow at him. "As much as you think, uh, we should know," he amended. The girls shared a look that Gerard couldn't decipher, but then Rachael turned back to them and nodded.

"There is a spirit around these parts," she started.

"A force," Merrin put in.

"A spirit, a force, whatever you want to call it. Our people have given it a name—the Mist."

"The Mist?" Frank raised his eyebrows. Ray nudged his shoulder.

"Frank, don't interrupt."

Rachael continued without a pause. "The Mist feeds off human energy. But it cannot do that as long as anyone still remembers the victim."

Gerard's insides went cold. "He feeds off..."

"He kills them," Merrin said, firm, but not cruel. "Once everyone has forgotten about them. That usually happens pretty quickly, with the Mist helping the process along."

"But I—"

"Yes, you still remember," said Rachael. "That doesn't happen often, by our knowledge, but it still happens. Meanwhile he keeps the subject locked up, since it cannot hurt them."

"So you think my brother's locked up in a castle, starving—"

"Not starving, I dare say. That would make them weak, which would mean that the Mist had less energy to consume in the end."

"So why does he keep them locked up, that would probably take a toll on anyone's, uh, energy..." Ray looked thoughtful.

"How do you know all this?" Frank interrupted. "And why did... the Mist or whatever, take Mikey?"

"We believe it chooses its victims mostly randomly, taking them from all kinds of different worlds, except this one. Not much is known about the process, although it's been happening for a long time. What we do know comes from people who have escaped him."

"They've gotten back to their own world?" Gerard asked.

Rachael shook her head, a sober look on her face. "They have been forgotten. All we can do is offer them a place here. There's nothing waiting for them back home. Sometimes... There have been tales of the Mist coming to take them from amongst us people, but that hasn't happened in a long time. Not during our lifetime, at least."

"Has anyone ever come to, uh, rescue them before?" Ray asked.

"Not since the doors between the worlds were closed."

"When was this?"

Rachael looked over to Merrin in question.

"A couple of hundred years, I think," Merrin said. "It's not... People can still get in and out, it's just not easy. The doors are still there, they're just shut. You need to know how to open them."

"So how did we get in?" Frank looked at Gerard, and Gerard shrugged his shoulders. He had no idea why the painting had turned into a portal, he just felt that it was important to make it. For Mikey.

"Magic," Merrin said, and laughed, as if the thought of such a thing was ridiculous.

Gerard smiled despite himself. "Why do you call it ‘him’," he asked, suddenly curious. "If it's like a spirit or a force or something."

Rachael looked at him, considering.

"The Mist takes on the form that can be described more as male than female before killing his victims."

Gerard swallowed painfully. "How do you know that?"

"From some of the servants in the castle, and from old tales. According to some of the stories, he's also stuck in that form for a period of time. We don't know if he’s unable to change back or if it’s just to preserve his own energy."

“So, he takes on human form to...” Frank trailed off and shifted a little closer to Gerard.

“Once the person has been forgotten it will be able to kill them.” Rachael nodded grimly.

"... Shit," Frank said. Gerard shut his eyes briefly, and ran a hand over his face.

"So that's why the world started changing. He was trying to get me to forget Mikey?"

"I believe that's what was happening, yes." Rachael leaned forward, her hands on her knees. "And here you still are."

"Can you take us to the castle?" Gerard asked, meeting her eyes.

"Yes."

"Wait," Frank said. "So the Mist lives in a big castle, has servants and steals people to then kill them. And he fits into your world how?"

"He doesn't," Rachael answered simply. "We want to destroy him."

Oh. Well, that shouldn't really have come as a surprise, Gerard thought.

"Why do you think we have servants on the inside? Also, he doesn't live in the castle, he only resides there during the brief bouts when he's human."

"So where is he usually? Can people even see him when he's, uh, incorporeal?" Frank was leaning forward, like he was determined to know and understand as much about this as he could.

"He used to roam freely on our land," Merrin said. "Destroying crop and our forests in his wake. Thanks to the efforts of our people, he has been confined to the castle walls in recent times. When he's not in the castle he's in his own pocket of the world or in another world, looking for victims. The servants take care to watch over the castle."

"Why don't the servants just free all the people he's imprisoned? If he can't take people from your world then he can't hurt them, right?"

"Not all the servants believe that what he's doing is wrong." Frank opened his mouth to protest, but Rachael cut him off. "He doesn't kill people from our world, like you said. He pays them well. They don't see a reason to rebel."

"But you do," Gerard said.

Rachael nodded. "He is not in control of us, and he doesn't have any say in the matters of our people. But the confinement might break. We don't want our lands destroyed again. And we don't want to live knowing that someone is killing innocent people while we do nothing about it, especially when we have the power to stop him.

"You have the power?" Frank asked, and Rachael looked suddenly uncomfortable.

"It is best for you not to know too much."

"But you will help us," Gerard said. "You'll help me get to Mikey?"

Rachael looked at him for a minute, calculating. Then she looked over to Merrin, who was running her gaze over all of them. She nodded. Rachael said, "Yes."

~

"So we sneak into the dungeons, you get rid of the guards, we get Mikey and we get out," Ray was saying for the hundredth time.

"Yes," Merrin said, dryly. "That seems to be the plan."

She and Rachael had seemed apprehensive at first about letting them come into the castle, but Frank had glared and Gerard had looked pleading, so they had given in. Merrin had disappeared for a little while when they had first taken off. Rachael had said it'd been to check out the best road to the castle, but Gerard could sense that wasn't the only reason. Still, he trusted them, and he figured he shouldn't interfere with whatever business they had.

"Can I ask you more about the way the people are chosen and taken?" Gerard asked Rachael.

Rachael stepped over a rock and used Merrin's sword to clear some branches out of their way before looking over at Gerard. They were in the thick of the forest now, and Merrin had said they were getting close. Gerard had no idea how long they'd been walking for, him and Rachael in the front, with Ray and Frank following and Merrin at the back.

"Go ahead and I'll see if I can answer you."

"If the Mist takes someone he makes the world forget about them, right?" Rachael nodded and Gerard continued. "Doesn't that cost him a lot of energy, too?"

"Yes, it must. So possibly the amount of energy he gets from the people is larger than that."

"So... Why would he take Mikey? Wouldn't it be easier to take someone most people have already forgotten?"

Rachael seemed thoughtful. She slashed away more grass and a few branches before answering.

"It's possible... We have a theory that he gets more energy from people who... Well, have more energy. So even if it were easier to take someone people have forgotten, getting someone with a lot of energy inside them might outweigh that..."

"But surely he could find someone who less people know but who still has..." He flapped his hand. "Energy."

Rachael bit her lip, considering. "A lot of people know Mikey?"

Gerard nodded jerkily. "We're, uh, we're a band. A lot of our fans love Mikey." Hell, anyone who had met Mikey loved him. Gerard didn't really have high opinions of the people who didn't.

Rachael shrugged. "We don't really know that much about it. But I imagine he can't stay in other worlds for too long. He might take the first person who comes his way."

Thinking about how exactly Mikey had been taken was something Gerard had put out of his mind for a long time. He didn't really want to imagine it. He'd been so scared for so long that something truly horrible had happened, scared that Mikey was already dead. The last nightmare had almost been a relief in how real it felt. And now they were on their way to him and the girls said Mikey was alive, he was. Gerard had been keeping him alive even without fully knowing it.

"Hey," Frank said from behind them, pulling Gerard away from his thoughts. "Does time, like, move differently here than in our own world?"

Rachael looked back at him. "Not that we're aware of."

Gerard could hear Frank breathe out sharply in relief. "Fuck. That's good. I mean, it'd be great if you were sure, of course, but whatever, I'll take it."

"Why does that worry you?"

"I really don't want to get back home and find that my kids are older than me," Frank said, trying for joking. Gerard stopped to reach back and briefly squeeze his shoulder. Frank met his eyes and shot him a tiny smile. Ray stepped closer and rested his hand on Gerard's back. They stood there for a moment, and then Merrin said, having passed them unnoticed,

"We're here."

~

"Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck." Frank was crawling right behind Gerard and Gerard wanted to stop and reach out to him, reassure him that there were no spiders, no, definitely no spiders, but Merrin was moving fast in front of him and they were almost there.

"Frank, it's okay," Ray said. "Just keep moving."

"What the fuck does it look like I'm doing," Frank snapped, and went back to cursing.

"Maybe you should close your eyes," Gerard said, straining his neck to look back at him.

"Uh-huh, no way," Frank said, frantically shaking his head. "If I see them I can at least try to fucking avoid them."

"I thought this had sort of passed," Ray said.

"We are crawling through a tunnel built into the ground, Ray, excuse me for not being fucking okay with it."

Fuck, Gerard felt like the shittiest person, he'd totally forgotten about Frank's claustrophobia. He stopped abruptly, wanting to help somehow, and Frank squeaked.

"Fucking keep moving, fucker."

"Shit, sorry." Merrin had already gotten pretty far away from him and he hurried to catch up.

"Why the fuck is this thing so fucking small?"

"I'm sorry we couldn't make our secret tunnel more accommodating to your needs," Rachael said from behind them. Gerard couldn't even tell if she was joking or not, and then he felt the ground beneath him tip upward a little and saw Merrin disappear and thank fuck, seriously. Mikey. Mikey was out there.

Merrin crawled out of the tunnel and reached in to pull him out as well. They helped Frank out together who started frantically brushing off his clothes. Gerard looked around himself as Ray and Rachael got out. They were in quite a big space, the low ceiling above them and vats of what was probably mead or something hiding them effectively from whoever might be in the room. He peered out from behind the vats and saw that the dungeon was quite long and narrow, with two guards sitting in the middle of it, and a cell at the far end.

Frank and Ray squeezed close to Gerard and Rachael covered the opening to the tunnel with bricks again. "Shouldn't we keep that open if we, you know, need to get away quickly?" Gerard asked.

Rachael shook her head. "There are only two guards and none of the other servants ever come here. We've learned that the fact that both of the guards are here means that the Mist is most likely not in the castle, but in some other universe."

"I thought you said he was in the castle only if he was going to, you know..." Gerard trailed off, uncertain.

"Not always, by the latest reports," Merrin said, close behind him, and Gerard mostly succeeded in not jumping, startled. "Sometimes he just... Well, hangs around. But not often."

"So we might leave some other way," Rachael said. Gerard thought about walking out the front door of the castle and shuddered. They'd only seen the back of it, but it was huge. He would really have rather taken the tunnel. The girls must have known what they were doing, though.

"Oh, thank fuck," Frank whispered from beside him.

"Okay," Merrin said, and looked at Rachael. She nodded and they both moved closer to the vats, quiet and careful, their knees and hands not making one sound on the cold stone floor. Even when they'd gone past the vats they were still enveloped by darkness, so Gerard followed them, trying to be just as quiet. He needed to see Mikey.

"Wait here," Rachael said to him, firm. Gerard froze and felt Ray and Frank who had been following him do the same. He nodded and Rachael turned to Merrin, signaling something that Gerard didn't understand.

Then one of the guards moved a little, and Gerard finally spotted Mikey, lying in the cell, curled up. Fuck, Mikey. He tried to keep quiet, but he didn't think he succeeded, because the other guard stood up abruptly and looked around. The girls crept forward, while Gerard tore his eyes away from Mikey, and glanced over to Frank and Ray. He found them staring at Mikey, as well, uncomprehending. Something cold settled in the bottom of his belly.

"You— You still don't remember?" he whispered.

Ray looked over and shook his head, looking pretty broken about it. "I. No. I'm sorry." Frank was still staring at Mikey, but he echoed the sentiment.

Okay, Gerard thought. This is just a temporary setback. He was worried that they still didn't remember, but they were here and Mikey was here and any second now they'd get him out of that awful cell and everything would be okay again.

When Gerard turned back to look at how the girls would handle this, he had to stifle another gasp. They were almost in front of the guards, but they didn't even seem to notice them. Gerard realized that he had no idea what would happen. Would the guards be killed or just rendered unconscious? He stared on as Merrin raised her hand and Rachael her knife, the end aimed at the guard's head, and then they struck.

Both guards hit the ground with a thump and Mikey startled, quickly pushing himself up to a sitting position.

"Mikey!" Gerard was halfway to the cell when Rachael stopped him with a hand to his chest.

"Wait," she said, firmly.

He wanted to struggle, but her arm was strong, and he couldn't move forward. Mikey was staring at them, uncomprehending. For a terrifying moment, Gerard was worried that Mikey had forgotten him, but then their eyes connected and Mikey threw himself forward, stopping barely before reaching the bars. "Gerard," he said, voice sounding raw with lack of use.

"Fuck, Mikes." He tried to start forward again, but Merrin stepped in front of him.

"Seriously, hold on. The bars might be cursed."

"Cursed?" he asked, stupidly. "What do you mean? You didn't say anything about them being cursed." He knew he shouldn't accuse them, it was hardly their fault, but Mikey was right there, and they were in the way.

"There isn't even a lock on the door," Frank said, stepping up behind him. "How do we get it to open?"

Ray stepped forward too, and suddenly everyone was talking at once, Frank and Ray demanding answers, and Gerard saw Merrin close her eyes, and there was still people and bars between him and Mikey and suddenly there weren't.

The door had opened with a creak and Merrin stepped out of his way and then he was there, in the cell, with his arms tight around Mikey, just clinging to him.

"You found me," Mikey said after a while, face pressed against Gerard's shoulder and his voice muffled.

"Yeah," Gerard whispered, hands still firmly around Mikey, clutching at his back. "Fuck. Yeah, we did."

For a second, Gerard didn't care about getting home or getting Frank and Ray to remember again. The insistent noise in his brain that had been getting quieter ever since he came through the painting had finally disappeared and he was totally content with just staying here, holding on to Mikey. Nothing else really mattered right now. He had Mikey back.

He finally pulled back to get a good luck at him. He looked skinnier and there were bags under his eyes, but he was smiling, his hands still fisted in Gerard's shirt. He looked younger, he looked so young. He'd grown up so much in the past years, but fuck, he'd always be Gerard's kid brother. Gerard choked back a half-laugh half-sob and gathered Mikey up close again.

Finally, someone behind them cleared their throat. Gerard drew away reluctantly and looked back to see Rachael looking at them. Frank and Ray were standing behind her and Merrin was sitting on a bench, keeping an eye on the unconscious guards.

"Look, I think we should get you out of here now. And back to your home."

"Right," said Gerard, and started to get up.

"How do we get back?" Frank asked, coming forward, and Gerard had to admit to himself that he hadn't thought about that once after Rachael had told them she might know where Mikey was. He'd just disregarded it as something they'd deal with later. Now he realized that they maybe should have considered this before, he wanted to get Mikey home as soon as possible. His thoughts on the subject were derailed, though, by Mikey getting up and leaning against Gerard's side.

"Frank. Ray," Mikey said, smiling at them.

"Hi," Ray said quietly, coming to stand next to Frank.

"They can't remember you," Gerard said, his hand around Mikey's waist, supporting him.

"Oh," Mikey said, deflating a little.

"We're glad we found you, though," Frank said and reached his hand out, looking unsure, but went to pull it back quickly. Before he could, though, Mikey grabbed onto it. Frank started a little, but held on. His expression didn't change.

"I thought maybe touch would help..." Mikey let go of Frank and laid his head on Gerard's shoulder.

"Sorry," Frank whispered, and Gerard felt abruptly sorry for them.

"We'll fix it," he said, confidently. "Everyone will remember again." He brought his other hand up to Mikey's shoulder and squeezed, a comforting gesture. He nodded to Rachael. "Let's go."

~

Mikey stumbled a little and Gerard tightened his hold on him.

"It's okay," he said, for the millionth time. "We'll get some food in you and you'll be a hundred percent again." He wished the girls had had some with them. Apparently Mikey hadn't eaten since last night. At least they could give him some water. Mostly, though, he just wanted to get them back home, so Mikey could rest. He looked exhausted, even though he was smiling faintly, and didn't seem to have much trouble keeping up a conversation. Still, they were all pretty much starving at this point.

"How did you even get here?" Mikey asked, pulling just a bit away from Gerard to look at him.

"Through a painting." It was Frank who answered. Mikey looked over at him, where he was walking on Gerard's other side. The girls were leading them to the kitchen—Rachael in the lead and Merrin walking closely behind them—after Merrin had gone and found one of the servants who was on their side. She said the man had assured him that their master was not in at the moment and they could grab a bite before they had to leave. Gerard wasn't sure if the girls would actually leave, he still didn't know what their side of the plan entailed and how they hoped to vanquish the Mist. He was growing anxious, worried about being out in the open like this. He wanted to get Mikey and the guys home as soon as possible.

Mikey nudged Gerard a little, bringing him back to the present. "A painting?"

"I was having dreams about you," Gerard said.

"You mean nightmares."

"Yeah," Gerard said, and felt Frank and Ray draw closer to them. "I started painting you before that, thinking maybe then people would remember. But the nightmares, the were so fucking real. So I thought if I painted what I dreamt... It'd help. On a couple of different levels, I guess." He snorted at that and grinned at Mikey who rolled his eyes.

"Shut up."

"Anyway," Gerard continued. "Then I had one that was really fucking vivid and painted it and... It was like a portal or something, man."

"Totally awesome," Frank put in. It seemed to Gerard like he was desperately trying to get himself to remember Mikey, and felt a brief wave of sadness for him and Ray. He couldn't imagine ever forgetting Mikey.

As if reading his mind, Mikey asked, "What if people won't remember me even when we get back?"

"They will, Mikes," Gerard said at once.

Mikey didn't answer. Gerard could see him bite his lip. He didn't really know what to say. People would remember Mikey, they had to. It was Frank who broke the quiet. "Are we gonna get there soon?"

Rachael glanced back at him. It was Merrin who answered, though. "Soon."

They'd been walking for a while. Gerard thought they might be taking the not so common routes through the castle, since they hadn't come across anyone. He was surprised by how large the place seemed to be. Sure, he'd seen it from the outside, but it felt like it went on forever. Gerard shuddered a bit.

"Gee," Mikey said quietly next to him. "What about Alicia?"

Gerard swallowed. "Uh. I called her and she... Well, she didn't remember, but. She sounded okay?" He thought back to that day. "She sounded like Alicia." He had never really put that much thought into it, and felt abruptly bad about it. She didn't know what Alicia was doing now or where she was. He thought he might have went to go see her if her number hadn't disappeared, but he also knew he could have gotten the number from somewhere else. She had sounded fine, and Gerard hadn't wanted to bother her. Surely it was better that she was fine, as far as Gerard knew, rather than missing someone she couldn't remember.

"Okay," Mikey said. "That's. Yeah, that's good."

Gerard exhaled and drew Mikey even closer to him, hand firm on his waist.

"I think Bandit felt something was off," he said. "Like, sometimes she could tell someone was missing."

Mikey nodded thoughtfully. "Kids can sense these things." He said it casually, like something like this happened all the time. Gerard stopped abruptly and put his other arm around him, too, clinging to him.

"Fuck, Mikey, I missed you so much." Mikey slipped his arms around Gerard's waist and leaned his chin on his shoulder.

"Guys," said Merrin from behind them. "We better keep moving."

"Right," Gerard said, and pulled away, still keeping a hold on Mikey's waist. "Yeah. You need to eat."

"You need to eat, too, Gee," Mikey said. "And Frank and Ray."

"That would be why we're heading to the kitchen, yes," Frank said and Mikey chuckled.

Gerard thought he didn't really feel that hungry. That's when they rounded a corner and his opinion on that matter changed.

They were in a big hall, with large windows and a high ceiling. In the middle of the hall was a long table laden with food. There was a part of Gerard that told him that this wasn't right, this was most certainly not the kitchen and who the hell would have food just lying around like that, but he was still walking closer. He registered the others following him, and heard someone say something, sounding urgent, but by then he'd picked up the first thing his eye had caught on. He bit into the peach, savoring the taste of it.

"Gerard, no!" A voice broke through the haze in his head. He thought it might have been Rachael. He glanced up and found Merrin holding Mikey's wrist, not letting him take a bite of the apple he'd picked up. Gerard swallowed. He closed his eyes for a second.

~

Gerard opened his eyes and realized he had no idea where he was. Well, he could see where they were, but that didn't tell him much.

"What the fuck?" Frank said, and Gerard had to agree. He and Frank and Ray were in the middle of some sort of large hall, and Gerard had no idea how they'd gotten there. He felt abruptly dizzy and leaned against a table that was luckily right behind him.

"Where the fuck are we?" Ray asked, and Gerard tried to take a breath, while looking around at the room. There were other people there, two girls and one guy, who was just standing, staring back at him. Also, there was someone in the doorway, far on the other side of the room. A guy with dark hair and a face Gerard couldn't really describe. The features just didn't make any sense.

"Well," the guy said. "I guess I can kill you now." His voice sounded scratchy and cold.

"What?" Frank demanded, as the guy stepped into the room.

The girls were rapidly discussing something between themselves, and Frank was moving toward to the guy who just said he would kill someone, what the fuck, what was happening and why did Frank not have an ounce of self-preservation. Gerard couldn't concentrate on any of that at the moment, though, he suddenly felt so lost he was surprised his legs were still holding him upright.

"Gerard," the other guy said, the one standing close—whoa, really close—to him. "Are you okay?"

Gerard stared back at him, confused. "Um, do I know you?"

The guy just looked at him for a moment before his face abruptly crumpled.

"Gerard," he said, sounding pleading.

"Tsk, tsk," the creepy guy said, and Gerard jumped. "Well, isn't this tragic. I dare say he doesn't know who you are." It felt like his voice was echoing through Gerard's head. He walked closer, his dark coat billowing around him, taking on forms that a normal coat really couldn't have achieved.

Fuck, he was almost in front of Frank, and he said he'd kill someone.

"Frank, get back." Gerard started forward, but Ray reached Frank first, pulling him back just as the shorter one of the girls stepped in front of him, facing the creepy dude.

"You can't protect them, you know," the guy said. "You won't succeed. I'll have him, there's nothing you can do about it."

The girl said something in return, but Gerard couldn't make sense of the words anymore. There was a feeling of utter loss growing inside him and he stumbled a little, when he tried to step closer to Frank and Ray.

"What— What the fuck's going on?" he asked, trying to make at least some sense of the situation. They were here with complete strangers, someone had threatened to kill someone and did that girl have a crossbow on her back?

The taller girl stepped between him and Frank and Ray, her attention focused on the creepy guy.

"Well, the short version is this. He—” She inclined his head toward the creepy guy ”—wants to kill him." She looked back at the guy still standing next to Gerard. "And he can do it, potentially. But we won't let him."

"Why," Ray said, his hand still firmly holding on to Frank's elbow. "Why do you want to kill him, that is."

The guy's face then arranged itself into something that at least tried to be a smile. It was completely terrifying. "I don't need to have a reason."

"Look, dude, you're not killing anyone," Frank said, and Gerard wanted to just grab both him and Ray and run. They... They weren't a part of this, they had nothing to do with this. The feeling of emptiness inside him was growing stronger by the minute.

"Are you really under the delusion that you can stop me?"

Gerard was close to just telling them to let them walk away, since they had no business here. Fuck, he didn't even know how they had gotten here. He glanced over to the guy who was or wasn't about to die and realized they couldn't just leave. The poor dude looked terrified. Well, obviously. Someone wanted to kill him. Gerard shook his head to clear it, but the abrupt movement made him so dizzy he felt his legs give out. He tried to scramble for something to hold on to and found that the about-to-be-killed guy had grabbed on to him and was lowering him to the floor.

"Whoa, it's okay." He dropped down on his knees, next to Gerard.

Gerard wanted to point out that someone wanted to kill him, so it probably wasn't okay, but he thought it was hard for the guy to have missed that part, so he didn't.

"I think you should leave," the creepy guy said, looking over at Gerard and smiling again. "You really have no business here. You should take your friends and go."

"I—" No. He... He wanted to, but he couldn't, fuck, he couldn't even get up.

"I think we should all leave and you should stay here and rot," Frank said, and Gerard could hear the sneer in his voice.

The expression on the guy's face changed again, the smile replaced by cold anger.

"Step aside," he said. "I've waited long enough. You will die." The last part was addressed to the guy next to Gerard. Gerard could feel him going rigid with terror, and wanted to say something comforting. Well. He really didn't see a weapon on the creepy guy, so maybe things weren't as bad off. Maybe this was just... Maybe it was just a joke. Maybe—

The guy stepped forward, and raised his hand. His hand was fucking glowing. Fuck. The taller girl rushed toward Frank, Ray and the other girl, shouting. "Don't let him get a clear shot, he can't hurt any of us. Mikey, you need to get him to remember."

"He won't succeed," the guy scoffed, and tried to move past them. He found himself blocked by Ray. Gerard panicked for a moment, and then the shorter girl drew out a sword. The four of them formed a line in front of the guy, and then Gerard's view was blocked by the guy who might be killed by, like, a ball of light or whatever the fuck any fucking second kneeling in front of him.

"Gerard, it's Mikey," the guy—Mikey—said. "Fuck, you can't just. You have to remember."

"Mikey?" Gerard repeated. "I— I don't."

"I'm your brother."

That was ridiculous of course. Gerard had— He'd never had a brother. He shook his head.

"Gerard, please. You have to listen— You have to remember."

Gerard looked behind Mikey, where the others were still holding the front. "You know, I could throw you out of my way just like that," the guy said.

"Go ahead and try," the girl with the sword said, and the guy started forward, but then his movements slowed and his face took on a perplexed expression.

The taller girl glanced back at them for a moment, looking anxious. “Come on, we can’t hold him forever!”

Then Mikey put his hand on Gerard's arm, and Gerard wanted to flinch back from him, but his body didn't really comply. Mikey squeezed him tighter, looking frightened and desperate.

"We do everything together," Mikey said. "I. I'm in the band." Gerard opened his mouth to protest, but Mikey didn't let him interrupt. "And even outside that we hang out all the time. Like, all of us, or just me and you and Alicia and Lindsey and Bandit, or, or just me and you. Come on, you just. You have to remember."

Gerard closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I've never had a brother, okay. I— I haven't. I don't." This was ridiculous.

"You do," Mikey said. "We went out a couple of weeks ago, like, two days before this all happened, with Bandit. You wanted to buy her some paints and she wanted a stuffed penguin."

Gerard remembered that, he did, but it'd just been... It'd just been him and Bandit, while Lindsey was working. He was. He was almost sure of that. Something was clawing at his brain, and it hurt, but he pushed it away.

"No," he said, and opened his eyes. "No, that's not what happened."

"It is," Mikey said, and he shuffled even closer to Gerard on the floor, their knees pressing together. "We— We went to Smashing Pumpkins when we were little. Like, we've told everyone about it, remember, I got the tickets and that's how I, how we knew that we wanted to do this. And then the FBI showed up, fuck, how can you forget the FBI showing up at our door. And that time you almost set the house on fire, and I thought it was really cool, remember?"

"Look, just stop," Gerard said, completely shaken. He remembered going to see Smashing Pumpkins, except Mikey hadn't been there, no one else had, just Gerard. And the FBI. He vaguely recalled something like that, but. No. And how the fuck did this guy even know about Gerard almost burning down the house. He. Had he said that in an interview? His head hurt when he tried to remember that.

Mikey kept talking, though. "Do you... Remember when Elena took us to the Zoo in the city when we were little? I liked the lions and you liked the gazelles, but she said that it was okay. And then I said I liked the gazelles too, and you said it was okay that I liked the lions best."

Gerard didn't even realize he'd started crying until Mikey raised his hand to his cheek. "Fuck, Gee—" He gently touched the skin under Gerard's eyes, wiping away the tears. The second his thumb made contact, Gerard felt an abrupt wave of dizziness and leaned his head forward, rested it on Mikey's shoulder. Mikey. Fuck, Mikey.

He pulled away fast, and stared at Mikey. "Mikey." Mikey stared back, his hand still raised. "Fuck, Mikey, I'm so sorry." He grabbed hold of him and enveloped him in a hug. "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," Mikey whispered, face hidden in his neck. "I know you didn't... It's okay."

Gerard just clung on harder.

"Guys. Guys!" One of the girls—Rachael, of course it was Rachael—came running toward them with Frank and Ray. "You have to go now."

"What," Gerard said, trying to twist around to look at them and still keep a hold on Mikey at the same time. "How, what?"

And then he looked at where Rachael was pointing, where a portal just like the one he'd seen in his painting was hovering in mid-air, a few feet away from them. Gerard caught a glimpse of Frank’s face, staring at Mikey with his mouth open, but he didn’t have time to think about that now.

"It won't hold for long, go."

"But— Will you be—"

"We'll manage," Rachael said, and quickly looked over to where Merrin was standing, the sword pointed at... the Mist, that was it, breathing heavily. "If you stop wasting our time." She didn't sound pissed off about it, though. Mostly a bit worried. "He’s weak right now since he didn’t get your brother. This is our chance. Now go! Mer can't hold this open forever."

"Merrin?" Frank asked, and of course, Gerard realized, the cell doors, the way Merrin had closed her eyes and concentrated. Holy shit, it was magic.

"Thank you," Gerard said, hastily getting up and dragging Mikey with him. "Seriously, thank you so much."

There were shouts from outside the hall, raised voices and the sound of people running. Gerard really didn't want to stick around to see what happened, but he hoped they'd be okay.

"Come on," he said, reaching the portal, and Mikey grabbed Frank's hand and Frank grabbed Ray's and then they were gone.

~

Gerard blinked his eyes open slowly, gauging his surroundings. Then he sat up suddenly. He was on the floor of his living room, and it felt like there wasn't a part of his body that didn't hurt.

"Fuck," he groaned, trying to move his head from side to side to relieve some of the tension in his neck and shoulders. Coming through the portal must have taken quite a toll— Mikey. Where was Mikey? "Mikey?"

"I'm okay." Gerard turned his head and saw Mikey lying on the couch, the fucker.

"How did you end up on the couch?"

Mikey blinked back at him, and smiled. Gerard could feel a grin taking over his whole face. He hauled himself off the floor and landed on top of Mikey with a whoomp, grinning at him some more before resting his head on Mikey’s chest. Mikey’s hands settled on his back, holding him tight.

"Fuck, man," Frank said somewhere from the vicinity of the couch. "I am fucking starving." Gerard blinked and lifted his head a little to make sure both Frank and Ray were still in one piece. Ray was leaning back in the armchair, hand resting on his stomach.

“What the fuck just happened?”

"That shit was really intense, man," Frank said, and Gerard pushed himself up to peek over the edge of the couch. Frank was lying on the floor, arms spread out. Then his eyes popped open and he gasped. “Mikey.”

Gerard shuffled back on the couch allowing Mikey to sit up just in time for Frank to reach him and envelop him in a big hug.

“Fuck, Mikey. I’m so sorry.”

Mikey was clinging back, something like confusion and relief mixing on his face. “It wasn’t your fault, Frank.”

“But I forgot you,” Frank said, agitated, and pulled back from Mikey a little to look at him. Ray walked over to join them on the couch, settling behind Mikey, and Frank glanced up at him.

“You remember not remembering him?” Gerard put his hand on Frank’s back, comforting.

Frank nodded, and Mikey pulled him close again, reaching out a hand towards Gerard—who tangled their fingers together—and leaning back against Ray.

“I’m sorry too, Mikey,” Ray said, wrapping his arms around Mikey’s waist.

Mikey shook his head. “It wasn’t your fault,” he stressed. “And I’m okay.”

Gerard wanted to ask him if he really was, if he remembered anything from being taken, what he remembered from being there, but now was not the time.

"Come on, you should eat."

They untangled themselves from the group hug, and Frank got up first, pulling Mikey with him as well. Ray met Gerard’s eyes and Gerard reached out to squeeze his shoulder. “It’s fine. It’s okay.” He knew it wasn’t enough, he’d only forgotten Mikey for a few moments and still felt unbearably guilty about it, but he also knew Mikey would never blame them for that. They all knew that.

They were dragging themselves into the kitchen when Gerard's cell rang.

"Gerard," Lindsey said urgently when he picked up. "I remember Mikey."

"Fuck," Gerard said, grinning brightly at the others. "Lyn, we got him back."

He could hear Lindsey let out a relieved breath. "Put him on." Gerard handed the phone to Mikey and went to check what Frank had found in the kitchen cupboards. Frank handed him some cereal, which he didn't even bother pouring into a bowl. Frank had also managed to dig up a sandwich from the fridge for Mikey, who ate it cold, taking bites between talking to Lindsey and Bandit. Gerard put on the coffee and then leaned back against the counter, where Ray joined him. Everything was all right again.

~

They were sitting around, talking it over, waiting for Lindsey and Alicia to arrive.

"Those girls were amazing," Gerard said, thinking back at Merrin, with all her weapons that just served to hide her best weapon yet, something that came from the inside.

Ray nodded, his hair bouncing. "A little scary at first..." He trailed off and Mikey wrapped his arm around him. They'd told him about their first meeting and Gerard's blood still ran cold, thinking about the knife on Ray's throat.

Frank scoffed. "They were scary in the end, too. But, you know. Awesome."

Gerard was just thinking about discussing what might have happened after they had left, when Alicia burst through the kitchen door and threw herself at Mikey. Ray quickly rescued the coffee cup.

"Mikey." She was clinging on tightly to his waist, and he buried his face in her hair.

"Um, should we go?" Frank whispered to Gerard when it appeared neither of them really planned on letting go in the near future.

"Maybe," Gerard said, and took another sip of his coffee. It was kind of hard to manage considering how he couldn't stop smiling.

~

Alicia had grabbed Mikey's phone with her when she'd driven over and it had been ringing non-stop the entire night. Their mother had called and it hadn't seemed like she remembered forgetting Mikey. She’d just known that something had been different and wrong for a while and wasn't anymore. Gerard even felt sort of glad about it. At least she hadn't worried much. Maybe they'd tell her one day.

Everyone else, though, everyone Gerard had called and had specifically asked if they'd remembered Mikey, they knew. They knew they'd lost him for a while and everyone was calling or texting him.

They were all in the living room, Mikey curled up on the couch with Alicia, talking on the phone. He'd showered and changed into the clothes he kept at their place. He looked warm and content, if a little tired. Ray had just gotten out of the shower and was sitting in one of the armchairs, looking at their albums "to make sure everything was how it was supposed to be". Lindsey was telling Frank about the art project she was finishing, but Gerard could hear their conversation sometimes turn back to what had happened in the other world. They'd managed to tell their side of the story, mostly, before people had started calling.

Gerard was trying to convince Bandit to go to bed. "Come on, Bee, it's late."

Bandit shook her head and pouted. "I want to stay up with Uncle Mikey."

Gerard lifted her up into his lap and held her close. "Uncle Mikey will still be here in the morning." They'd agreed that Mikey and Alicia would be staying over in their regular guest room, with Frank or Ray taking the other one. They were still arguing who'd be sleeping on the couch. Frank insisted that he should take the bed, because he was shorter. Ray's hair just kept getting bigger.

"Promise?" She looked up at him with solemn eyes, and he swallowed painfully. When he nodded, though, her face cleared and she smiled. "Okay."

He collapsed onto the couch next to Mikey and Alicia afterwards, Lindsey joining him.

"I'm gonna go call Jamia," Frank said, pausing on the way out to pat Mikey on the head who pushed him off, smiling, still on the phone.

Ray pushed off from his armchair as well. "I'm gonna go claim the bed." Gerard raised his eyebrows, and Alicia snorted. "Whatever, he totally owes me for all the times I let him have the full seat in the van."

Gerard chuckled. "You're still collecting from that?"

Ray just smiled and leaned down to hug Mikey. "See you in the morning."

"Hey," Gerard said, quietly, after Mikey had hung up on the latest caller. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Mikey shrugged, and leaned his head on Gerard's shoulder, pulling Alicia closer to him. "I don't remember much, actually. I—" He was cut off by a yawn.

"Later?" Gerard asked, and Mikey nodded tiredly. Alicia brushed the hair back from his face and leaned in to kiss his forehead.

"Come on," she said. "Bed." She pulled him up, and Gerard squeezed his hand briefly before letting go.

"See you in the morning," he said, and Mikey smiled.

He and Lindsey ran into Frank and Ray standing in the hallway, talking quietly, on their way to the bedroom.

"Hey," Frank said, smiling brightly when he saw them. "Hey, man, we actually fucking did it."

"Yeah," Gerard said, pulling them both into a hug. "We did."

~

Gerard felt a bit uneasy about keeping all the paintings, but he didn't really want to throw them away either. He hated them for being the reminder of those bleak days when everything was so, so horribly wrong, but Mikey liked them and so did Bandit.

Mikey was looking at them now, the morning after they'd gotten back, a thoughtful look on his face. "Do you think they still work as portals?" Gerard really didn't care and really didn't want to know, unless—unless someone would come through the other way and take Mikey again. He voiced his concern, but Mikey shook his head, said, "I don't think that was how it works. They're your pictures so probably only we could use them."

Gerard wasn't that convinced, but he was willing to trust Mikey's judgment. Mikey was usually right about these things. Well, at least when it came to movies.

Mikey was still looking at the main painting, the one Gerard had said they'd gone through, and then he grabbed very tightly on to Gerard's arm and pushed at it. The painting didn't budge under his hand, no ripples appeared on it. They both breathed a sigh of relief. Mikey didn't let go of Gerard's arm, though.

"Do you..." Gerard shifted closer to him. "Do you remember anything about being taken?"

Mikey shook his head, not looking away from the painting. "Not a lot. Just. I remember I'd gone out to get something from the store and then I— Then I woke up there."

"How..."

"How was it?" Mikey glanced at him. Gerard nodded.

"They said that it wouldn't hurt you, and you didn't seem... But I never asked, I'm—"

Mikey turned back to the paintings. "No, it's. It didn't. It was just cold. Lonely. I mean, I was scared, but— I knew you were coming."

"You couldn't have—"

"I did." Mikey met his gaze. "I knew you were coming, Gee."

Gerard pulled him into a hug, and rested his head on Mikey's shoulder.

"Hey," Mikey said, quietly. "You weren't recording without me, right?"

"Of course not, Mikes."

"Okay." He squeezed Gerard's waist, and pulled back a little. "When are we gonna go back to the studio?"

"As soon as you want," Gerard said, blinking up at him. "Well, actually it should probably be sooner rather than later, I think they might be worried we're gonna scrap this one, too."

Mikey laughed, then, that bright honking laugh of his, and Gerard joined him.

They left the garage, and went back into the kitchen where their family was waiting for them.