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Min Yoongi was in love.
He wasn’t sure for how long he felt like that. Did it start when the meet? Was when they were training together? When he first saw his smile? Or maybe when he wiped his tears away and comforted him after a bad day? It was definitely after listening to his beautiful voice singing for the first time, because there was no way that Yoongi didn’t fell for Park Jimin’s voice.
He didn’t know when exactly he started to feel differently towards the boy, for Yoongi it was always quite normal to feel a little more overprotective with the younger, normal to feel more comfortable with skinship if it was with him, normal to feel calmer when Jimin would talk to him. But that was normal. Jimin was his favorite donsaeng, after all.
But he should had realized that his favoritism towards Jimin wasn’t all that normal.
If he really thinks about it, it was kinda stupid of him to not realize his feelings for Jimin before. He wrote love songs all the time, for gods sake.
And what Yoongi felt for Jimin was definitely love. Irrational, crazy and deep love.
And he only grasped that, when, during one of his composing all nigthers, he was writing a love song and his thoughts drifted to the younger.
It wouldn’t be that big of a deal if it wasn’t for the fact that Yoongi was stuck in the lyrics for almost four days and just the mere thought of Jimin laughing in the practice room that morning made the words start to pour on the paper.
That’s when he realized how fucked he was.
Because Jimin was his muse. He made his heart beat faster and inspired him.
And once he realized it, there was no going back. He couldn’t make those feelings go away.
Not that he tried.
***
Almost six months had passed since his (un)fortunate discovery.
Ever since he became aware of his feelings for Jimin, he also became extremely aware of the younger. Once he found out how much he cared about Jimin, it was kinda hard to hide it.
Yoongi would blush whenever Jimin would hold his hand or hug him, he would incite more skin ship between them, Yoongi would spend more time with him and be way more caring for Jimin altogether.
Jimin didn’t seemed to notice Yoongi’s change in behavior.
Yoongi didn’t knew if he was grateful or upset by it.
So he was back in the studio, getting ready for their new comeback, scribbling ideas and getting frustrated and throwing the away.
Ever since he found out about his feelings, he wanted to write a song for Jimin but, for some reason, he was never able to.
He had a billion different ideas, all about Jimin’s qualities that Yoongi loved, each unique in their own way.
The first time he tried, it was a song about Jimin’s smile. How sweet it was, how it made even the darker of the days brighter A breath of sunshine. He never got to finish it. He felt like, no matter how much he tried, he couldn’t really express his feelings when he saw Jimin smiling. The words sounded too vague.
After that he tried to write about Jimin’s eyes. How they shone like stars and how he frequently got lost on them. He didn’t finished that one because it was too mushy even for him.
His last attempt was to write about how Jimin made him feel. But that time he couldn’t write even one word. He just couldn’t put into words.
He wanted to write his feelings down, but he felt so confused about what he felt that it was kinda of impossible.
He wanted to be around Jimin 24/7, but being around him without knowing the younger’s feelings towards him was torture. He loved when Jimin acted cute – it made his heart loose a beat and left him wanting to hug Jimin forever – but he also really loved when Jimin acted all confident and sexy – it did stuff to him.
Everything about Jimin was confusing. He loved when Jimin was confident and happy, but he also liked when Jimin was feeling kinda down and Yoongi was the one responsible for putting a smile on his face again (Yeah, he knew it was selfish, but he didn’t really cared).
There was so much he wanted to put on a song for Jimin.
He wanted to write something as pretty as Jimin. That represented his beauty, inside and out.
He wanted to write something sweet, just like his voice, so when everyone else listened to it, they would understand that it was made just for him.
He wanted to write deep lyrics, so Jimin could listen to them and grasp all of Yoongi’s feelings for him.
He wanted to write something that screamed “I love Park Jimin”.
Most of all, he wanted to write something that Jimin could truly and deeply love.
But, somehow, he could never do that. It never came out right. It would always be a little off. Or worse, it would have an ‘unrequited love’ tone. Or a ‘Loving alone’ tone. Or a ‘Secret love’ tone. Or a ‘painful love’ tone. Or an… You get it.
It didn’t matter how he tried to approach it, it would always end up the same: Wrong. Wrongs words, wrong vibe. Just wrong.
So he just crumpled his latest trial and threw it into the garbage can (he missed). That should be that hundredth time he did that on that day.
He sighed and got ready to try again when he heard someone knocking on his door. He looked in time to see the one who was causing all of his troubles getting in.
“Hey, hyung” He said, smiling brightly like always, offering him a white mug. “I thought you might be tired, so I brought you some coffee”.
Yoongi couldn’t help but sigh happily. Jimin and coffee sounded too good to be true.
“Thanks, Minnie”. He picked the mug and tasted it.
It was pipping hot and extremely bitter.
Perfect.
Even a small action like getting his coffee order right made Yoongi’s poor heart miss a beat.
“So, how’s the song going?” Jimin wondered, looking at the mess of crumpled paper that was his studio. Yoongi was kinda of old fashion, he liked the feeling of writing on paper.
“Its… Going”. He mumbled, sipping his coffee.
“I guess its not easy, is it?” Jimin smirked and sat on the sofa. On his way there, he grabbed one of the paper balls and read it.
Half of Yoongi wanted nothing more than stopping him, after all, all of those words were about the younger and it was really nerve wrecking to let him read them. But his other half wanted to know his reaction, if he would like Yoongi’s words.
So he watched him reading the paper for what it felt like years.
“Wow, hyung”. He gasped. “Its so beautiful… I could never write something like that”.
“Its nothing”. He grumbled, a little embarrassed and happy.
“You don’t have to be humble with me, hyung. Those lyrics are beautiful. Like, the way you talk about this love… It even sounds real”. Yoongi looked away from Jimin, too scared that his feeling were showing on his eyes. “You know, I always wanted to ask you… Where do you get inspiration to write these lyrics, hyung?”
‘You’. He wanted to say.
“Here and there” He said instead. “It depends”.
“Ah” The younger nodded. “And this one? Where it came from?”
‘You’
“Hum… It just… I don’t… It just came out” He mumbled.
“Hyung, are you…” He whispered and hesitated. He seemed afraid to ask. “Nevermind”.
“You can say, Jiminie”.
“Its nothing. Its just a stupid question. Like, you wouldn’t even answer, that how stupid it was”. He shook his head.
“Just ask it. I’ll answer, it doesn’t matter how stupid it is”. He assured.
“Really?” Yoongi nodded so Jimin nodded. “Promise you won’t laugh”.
“I promise”. Yoongi rolled his eyes. He had to suppress a little smile. Jimin was so silly sometimes. It only made him cuter.
“Are you in love with someone, hyung?” Jimin blurted.
Yoongi froze.
“W-what? W-why would you think…?”
“I knew it. It was a silly question, right? Its obvious you’re not”. Jimin talked over Yoongi, laughing nervously. “I’m sorry, I just… I thought I could be possible, you know? Your lyrics are always so passionate and meaningful that I thought that, maybe, you could be in love with someone… But you’re not, right?” His smiled fathered. “You don’t love anyone, right hyung?” He seemed a little unsure, like he was anxious for Yoongi’s answer. “You don’t have anyone in your heart, right?”
That last question in specific made Yoongi’s heart shake a bit. Not the question itself, but the tone Jimin used.
It was almost hopeful, like he wanted Yoongi to say ‘No, I don’t’.
Yoongi decided to try something.
“Actually, there is… Someone”.
“Oh”. Jimin clearly deflated. “Really?” He sounded upset and Yoongi just wanted to hug him. “Congrats, hyung. I hope you’re happy together”.
Yoongi’s heart felt a little hopeful when he listened to how sad Jimin was.
“We’re not… Together yet”. He said carefully. “I actually think I’m not corresponded”.
“Ah really?” Jimin still sounded down.
“But I’m hopeful, you know? And, to answer your previous question, yes, all of my music is inspired by them. And it always be”.
“All of your music?”
“Yeah, even when I hadn’t realized I love them, they were my inspiration”.
“Wow, they are really lucky, hyung”. He took a deep breath and Yoongi couldn’t help the hope to bloom in his heart. He felt like he had a chance. “I… I got to go. I, hm, promised Hobi-hyung that I would practice with him today”.
“Okay, thanks for the coffee”. He turned his chair to write again, this time thinking that maybe he will be able to put his feelings on paper.
Jimin was about to leave the studio when Yoongi turned his chair and called him.
“Yes?” Jimin wasn’t looking at him, instead he was staring at his feet.
“Please, don’t tell anyone about this, okay? It’s a secret… For now”.
“Ah… Sure, hyung. Don’t worry about it”. Then the younger left, leaving a hopeful and motivated Yoongi behind.
***
“Hm, Namjoon-ah the songs are really good, but I think the third one doesn’t really fit the concept of the album, so let’s leave this one out okay?” Bang Si-Hyuck said whilst writing something down. “I really like the second one, but the chorus sounds unfinished, so you should work on that”. Namjoon nodded. “The first and the fourth one sounded great, I think we should use it. Does everyone agree?” Most people in the room nodded and there were some ‘yes’ throw around. “Great then. So, Yoongi, you’re next. What you have for me?”
“Mostly melodies so we can brainstorm some lyrics… But first I would like to show you this one song… I wrote it and produced it and worked really hard on it. I think it should go in the album. I even got Namjoon to sing the demo for me”.
“Let’s hear it then”.
Yoongi nodded, suddenly very nervous, and grabbed his phone to play it.
I modeungeon uyeoni anya
All this is no coincidence
Geunyang, geunyang naui neukkimeuro
Just, just, by my feeling
On sesangi eojewan dalla
The whole world is different from yesterday
Geunyang, geunyang neoui gippeumeuro
Just, just, with your joy
Nega nal bulleosseul ttae naneun neoui kkocceuro
When you called me I became your flower
Gidaryeossdeon geot cheoreom uri siridorok pyeo
As if we were waiting we bloom until we ache
Eojjeomyeon ujuui seopri geunyang geuraessdeon geoya
Maybe it’s the providence of the universe, it had to be that
You know, I know
Neoneun na, naneun neo
You are me, I am you
It’s been almost three weeks since Yoongi’s conversation with Jimin. Three weeks since he had been working ceaselessly on that specific song, hiding it from everyone – except from Namjoon, but only because he needed someone to record the demo. Three weeks of Jimin sulking everywhere.
Seolleneun mankeum manhi duryeowo unmyeongi uril jakku jiltuhaeseo
As much as my heart flutters, I’m worried
Neomankeum nado manhi museowo
The destiny is jealous of us, just like you I’m so scared
When you see me
When you touch me
Ujuga uril wihae umjigyeosseo
The universe has moved for us
Jogeumui eogeusnam jocha eopseosseo
Without missing a single thing
Neowa nae haengbogeun yejeongdwaessdeon geol
Our happiness was meant to be
Cause you love me and I love you
Obviously, seeing Jimin sulking also made Yoongi weirdly upset too. It was still strange to Yoongi how the younger affected him. If Jimin was happy, then so was Yoongi. If Jimin was sad, then so was Yoongi.
It sucked, but Yoongi kinda liked it.
Neon nae pureun gompangi
You’re my penicillium saving me
Nal guwonhaejun naui cheonsa naui sesang
My angel, my world
Nan ne samsaek goyangi neol mannareo on
I’m your Calico cat, here to see you
Love me now
Touch me now
Yoongi was nervously observing Jimin’s reaction to the song. For some reason he looked a little melancholic. Maybe he was thinking that this song was meant for someone else…
Again, he couldn’t help but feel a little hopeful.
Just let me love you (let me, love, let me love you)
Just let me love you (let me, love, let me love you)
Ujuga cheoeum saenggyeonasseul ttaebuteo modeun geon jeonghaejin geoyeosseo
Since the creation of the universe everything was destined
Just let me love you (let me, love, let me love you
Let me love, let me love you
When the song was done, Yoongi looked away from Jimin and stared at their CEO. If he decided that the song wasn’t good enough for the album then his plan would have to change.
“I liked it”. Yoongi sighed relieved, smiling a little. “I think this song would be great in Jungkook’s voice. When are you available to record it, Kook-ah?”
“Actually”. Yoongi interrupted. “I want Jimin’s voice for this song”.
“Jimin?” Si-Hyuck sounded surprised. “Why? Don’t you think it would suit Jungkook’s voice better?”
Yoongi shook his head.
“I wrote it for Jimin… Thinking about him”. He said and felt his face burning with blush. In his mind those words were way less revealing. But it was out now. “Jungkook’s voice its great, but, since the very beginning, this song was meant for Jimin”. Yoongi stared at the younger, trying to see if he understood his message.
“Hm, go ahead then. If Jimin’s version doesn’t come out that great, then we will use Jungkook’s voice”. Their boss said and Yoongi nodded. There was no way that Jimin’s voice wouldn’t sound great. “So, you said you have some melodies too?”
“Ah, yeah I do”.
***
Yoongi didn’t had to say anything for Jimin to know that they needed to talk. So he waited for the younger in his studio, ready to confess.
He had all the words ready, in the tip of his tongue. But they were all gone once he saw Jimin closing the door behind him.
“Hyung...” Jimin started, but didn’t continue. He seemed nervous.
Well, so was Yoongi.
“Yeah?” He encouraged him.
“You… Hyung, I… Am I that person? The one you like?”
It was now or never.
“How would you feel if you were?” So he chickened out again. Fuck…
“I…” Jimin stared at his feet and then mumbled. “Really happy”.
Yoongi couldn’t hold the smile that spread in his face.
‘Really happy’ he said… Well, fuck. Yoongi was really happy too. In paradise, actually.
“That’s good then”. He said, feeling a little embarrassed. “Cause you are… That person”.
God, Yoongi felt so awkward.
Jimin looked up quickly, looking hopeful.
“So…?”
“Yeah”. He smiled and Jimin hugged him, hiding his face on his neck. Yoongi loved the feeling way too much. “I like you, Jiminie… I really do. I think I love you, actually”.
“Me too, hyung”. He whispered and Yoongi hold him tighter. “For a long time now”.
“Yeah?” He smiled even wider.
“Yeah. So when you said you liked someone, I got really sad… I thought I lost my chances”.
“I’m sorry… I should just have confessed, but I wanted to be sure and...”
“No, it’s fine. I’m glad you did like that. I love that song… I love that it was made for me”.
“You do?” He whispered in Jimin’s neck, which made him giggle a little. Yoongi wanted to die in his arms.
“Yeah, I do”. Jimin snuggled up in Yoongi’s arms. “Did you really wrote it thinking about me?”
“Yeah. When I was writing it I researched a lot for a good title, you know? I thought about calling it ‘love’ or ‘smile’, ‘sunshine’ and even ‘destiny’. But then I found the perfect word: ‘Serendipity’. It means the luck of finding something precious whilst not looking for it. That’s exactly who I feel about you, Jiminie”.
Yoongi felt the younger smiling on his neck and couldn’t help but smile too.
He had pictured a shit ton of different scenarios for his confession. Some were happy, some were sad and in some he didn’t even confessed to Jimin.
But nothing he ever imagined compared to that. Having Jimin on his arms, feeling completely happy, relieved and loved.
It felt perfect.
“I feel the same way about you, hyung”. Jimin broke the hug off and looked Yoongi in the eyes. “I love you”.
“I love you too, Jiminie”.
Everything felt right. Like it was meant to be.
Let me love, let me love you