Work Text:
Caroline takes the bracelet off the second she’s inside the cab.
Her fingers are shaking harshly, and the skin on her left wrist itches as if something is missing. She ignores it in favor of spouting the direction to Rebekah’s place to the driver. There’s this tugging sensation in her throat, the one she always gets when she’s about to cry but she’s trying not to, accompanied by a heaviness in her chest. It’s always been there, the weight. It never really left, but over the years she has mastered the art of pretending it isn’t there. Tonight it’s more pressing than usual, making her heave with every breath–sort of like the beginnings of a panic attack that never really occurs, only warns. She doesn’t know if she should be thankful for that or not.
Still, she’s Caroline freaking Forbes. She’s always known it was inevitable that they see each other again, with her being friends with his sister and said sister getting married next month. She wishes she had time to prepare, sure, but really given her luck it was only really a matter of time. She’s Caroline freaking Forbes. She’ll pull through.
-
She sees him a lot after the cheer competition. Sometimes it’s only glimpses; his car pulling out the driveway of the Mikaelson mansion just as she and Rebekah pull up, him picking up Rebekah from practice on late Friday nights and only sparing her a nod of acknowledgement or a ghost of a smile. Sometimes she thinks his ego is still bruised from her outright rejection the last time, but he’s if a little too civil towards her and never once shown bitterness. Sometimes Caroline thinks she’s just having a classic case of wanting what she couldn’t anymore have.
And then Rebekah breaks her ankle during one of their cheer practices after making a nasty landing post-toss. Caroline drives her to the ER; Klaus meets them there.
They stay silent throughout the paper works and examinations, mostly because Caroline already pities the medical workers enough for having to deal with the younger blonde’s temper tantrums. She doesn’t think of the fact that she’s rarely quiet, really, but with Klaus sitting only a few seats away on one of those plastic chairs that line hospital corridors that are unbelievably uncomfortable she suddenly can’t muster up the courage to speak. She doesn’t like what that implies.
He’s the one who breaks the silence. “Do you want some coffee, love?”
Caroline spends way too much time staring at him; shocked that he actually spoke to her that she never really processes his words. The sight of a smile pulling at the corners of his lips snaps her out, though, and she sits up hastily. “I’m sorry, what?”
He doesn’t fight the grin this time, which makes him ridiculously more attractive if possible, which is honestly so annoying. “I was going to go to the vending machine. I asked if you’d like some coffee? A snack, maybe?”
“Sure,” she answers simply, pulling out a twenty from her purse. “Here; I don’t care what kind you get, just make sure it has tons of milk and sugar. Thanks.”
She sees him conceal a grimace at her order and Caroline inwardly rolls her eyes. Klaus doesn’t make fun of her like she expected, though, even if she’s sure he’s judging her caffeine preferences (what? She likes her coffee to barely taste of coffee at all, sue her). He doesn’t even bother taking the bill from her outstretched hand, tucks his own instead in his pockets and marches to the vending machine at the end of the hallway. When he returns, he has two steaming cups balanced in one hand (how does he do that?) and the other holding an assortment of chips, cookies and a chocolate bar.
“This isn’t exactly how I pictured our first date but here,” he tells her, handing one cup towards her along with the chocolate bar and cookies. “A drink barely passable as coffee and sugar, as requested, love.”
“Seriously?” Caroline takes the items, fighting a blush to appear on her face and seriously, never before has she hated her dad’s genes so much. It’s his fault she gets redder than a tomato at the smallest of things and really that’s the only reason she’s blushing. She’s a blusher. “We’re in the ER waiting for your sister who broke her ankle. This is not a date.”
Klaus grins at her, dimples and all, and drops down on the chairs again, this time with only one seat between them. “Sure, love.”
“Don’t call me that,” she scolds. Caroline ignores the fact that she’s trying–and failing–to hold back a smile. Damn him for being charming.
-
When Caroline goes home the next day, Cami greets her like this: “What happened to you last night?”
She mentally groans and tries to hold back the urge to search the apartment just to make sure Klaus really is gone (and tries to ignore the pang in her chest at the thought that he really did stay over) while putting her bag down the counter. “Last night? Well, you kicked me out so your boyfriend could stay over, for one. After that I went to Rebekah’s, had dinner, had my nails done, etc. A lot happened last night.”
“Caroline,” Cami gives her a look. “You practically ran out on Klaus and I. You know, Klaus? My boyfriend? Who I never even got to introduce to you?”
This time she can’t hold back the flinch, and it’s so annoying, because it’s been two years and it still hurts. She feels the lump in her throat and the weight in her chest tenfold, hopes the pain doesn’t show on her face because goddammit, it’s been two years. She hasn’t exactly been a model of abstinence, either, even though she still has not dated seriously since then, so she’s one to talk.
And damn Klaus, really, because when Caroline was eighteen and stupid and ridiculously in love she gave him all of her heart with reckless abandon, all but shoved it into his hands without assurance that he’d keep it but in hopes that he does–god, she had hoped he would. Now it’s years into the aftermath and she’s still trying to get the pieces back. But Klaus, he’s cruel and vicious and he’s hidden them in places Caroline cannot hope to find. Damn Klaus, and damn Caroline, too, because all she needed was to catch a glimpse of his eyes and his lips and his hair and her feelings jumpstart like they never left in the first place.
“I know who Klaus is,” she finally tells her roommate, who pauses where she stood by the sink. Caroline bites at her bottom lip to try and prevent it from trembling. “I know him, Cami.”
They stand in painful silence for a few seconds, Caroline trying to prepare her next words carefully while Cami looks at her in confusion.
“I know him because…” she sees the apprehension in Cami’s eyes, as well as the fear, and then Caroline remembers all the times Cami told her about her supposed boyfriend who she believed was too good for her. Caroline remembers the happiness and the hope and the excitement of the early stages of love and god, she can’t be the one to ruin that for her friend, can she? Her and Klaus? That’s been over for two years, and she may love him still (and god it hurts to finally admit that to herself) but he deserves to move on the same way Cami deserves to be loved. And Caroline knows Klaus; knows he’s addicting and infuriating and he loves like it’s his last breath. She had that once, his love, but now she doesn’t, and Cami deserves to feel a love like that. “He’s Rebekah’s brother. We met a few times over the years.”
“Oh, wow!” Cami blinks, certainly not expecting the direction the conversation went. “Small world. But that’s a good thing, right? At least we’re past awkward introductions. Wait, you hate him, don’t you? That actually makes a lot of sense. You hate his guts and that’s why you ran out last night. Caroline, I know Klaus can seem a bit like an ass at first but I promise you, he’s so much more.”
Caroline fights back the instinctive “I know” to come out from her lips, only barely managing a small smile of reassurance at the other blonde before locking herself in her room once more. At least there, in the privacy of her own bed and four corners, she’s allowed the truth. At least there, she’s allowed to cry.
-
She’s still wearing her graduation gown when Klaus approaches her. He doesn’t have anything in hand, no flowers or gifts or all that’s expected of him to bring to a graduation; just Klaus in a suit (he wore a suit!) with his dimples and an envelope that he pulls out of his inner pocket.
“My mom’s a sheriff,” she tells him once he’s close enough like he didn’t know it already. Klaus raises an eyebrow in amusement and waits for her to go on. “She’s waiting for me in the parking lot, so…”
He nods respectfully. “I won’t keep you, then, love.”
“And also,” Caroline continues, voice pitching higher. “Just because I invited you to my graduation–which also happens to be your brother’s as well–does not mean that it means something, you know what I mean? I–“
“Caroline,” Klaus cuts her off with a barely concealed smile. “I just came to congratulate you. I did have a reservation for that Italian place near the square but I know you won’t accept, so here.”
He hands her the square envelope, and Caroline notes her name written at the back in an elegant penmanship before tucking it close to her chest. “Klaus–“
“Congratulations, Caroline,” Klaus tells her, and she’s never seen him so genuine before, never seen him look at her with so much raw adoration and pride, and it doesn’t make sense, does it? How does Klaus who barely knew her–and whom she’s certain only witnessed the less than stellar parts of her, at that–look at her the way she’s always wanted to be looked at? How does he look at her like she’s enough? “Better not keep the sheriff waiting, and I do believe Bekah arranged a small celebration for Kol and you know how she hates tardiness.”
Caroline lets out a small laugh at that because duh, it’s Rebekah, she’ll probably threaten to skin Klaus alive should he arrive so much as a second late to her soiree, and nods before waving at the envelop she’s gripping tightly on one hand. “Thank you, for whatever this is.”
Klaus only nods, stares at her a second too long as if contemplating something before ducking down and kissing her on the cheek. “Goodbye, love.”
He’s already a few feet away when Caroline realizes what just happened, and she can’t stop herself from blurting out, “Klaus!”
He turns halfway to look at her with an inquisitive brow, hands tucked carefully in his jean pockets.
“I really can’t go to dinner tonight,” she sighs, looking at him in defeat. Klaus nods again as if he expected as much. “But tomorrow...”
Klaus perks up at her words and Caroline has to fight down a giggle at how adorable he looks, eyes wide with anticipation and–dare she say it–hope.
Sighing once again, Caroline lets a smile sneak out. “I could do tomorrow.”
The last thing she sees before turning around and leaving to go to the parking lot is Klaus grinning at her like she just gave him the world, and wasn’t that something for a girl who doesn’t have it in the first place?
-
“Wow,” Rebekah says before plucking her glass of mimosa from the table and downing it in one go. “You really have the worst luck of all.”
Caroline glares, manages to maintain it for a few seconds before giving up. “Yeah, I really do.”
“I’ve never even met this Cami,” the other blonde notes in distaste. “Only ever heard of her from you. Nik didn’t mention he was seeing someone.”
There’s that pang again at the mention of Klaus’ name, but Caroline focuses on the delicious cake samples in front of her instead. “Well, based on what Cami’s been telling me, they’ve been seeing each other for at least three months now.”
“Huh,” Rebekah hums with a frown, picking out a slice of what looked to be strawberry short cake, giving it a taste before making a face. “That’s weird.”
“What?”
“Nothing,” she avoids her eyes. “Just…Nik has never really, you know, gone out with someone that long since, well, since you, to be honest.”
The words do nothing to make her feel better, and Caroline thinks Rebekah knows it too with the way she ducks her head and starts picking at other cake flavors she’s already tasted before. But Caroline definitely shouldn’t feel like she has a right to be hurt by this, definitely shouldn’t feel like she has a claim on him somehow, so she nudges the female Mikaelson with her foot under the table.
“It’s fine, Beks,” she tells her, causing Rebekah to roll her eyes in disbelief. “No, really. He’s allowed to move on. So am I. It’s been a long time since we even saw each other last, I’d be surprised if he hasn’t dated anyone seriously already.”
“Two years is not that long, Caroline,” Rebekah admonishes. “Besides, you haven’t seen anyone seriously.”
“Yeah, because I honestly feel like I’ve been cursed ever since Ni–I mean Klaus–and I broke up. I really need to find someone already.”
Rebekah hums again, looks at her pointedly before gesturing to the bakery owner. “I think I like vanilla the most.”
-
“Do you remember when we went to that dinner after my graduation?” Caroline whispers against Klaus’ neck one night. They’re tangled on his bed, sheets pulled up to their waists for some semblance of decency.
Klaus continues to let his hand wander, stroking the back of her neck down to her spine and her arms and thighs, leaving goose bumps in their wake. “I remember all our memories together, love. It’s hard to forget.”
“Stop–” She laughs, slapping a palm to his naked chest in amusement. “–being cheesy. Seriously. We’ve been together two years. You don’t need to woo me any longer, Nik.”
He only pulls her closer and seriously, had someone told 18-year-old Caroline that Klaus is a cuddler, she definitely would not have believed them. “That’s my favorite memory of all.”
“What?”
“The first time you called me Nik,” he confesses, making her breath hitch. His grip tightens as if he’s trying to hold on to the said memory longer, and it only makes Caroline melt into him more. “You knew me as Klaus first, used that name when you’re annoyed at me and have no problem letting me know exactly why.”
Caroline smiles, presses a kiss against his skin. Klaus doesn’t fight back his shiver. “Yeah, well, you weren’t exactly the easiest to get along with.”
“I know,” he admits proudly, making Caroline smack his chest lightly again. Klaus laughs a good five seconds before sobering up. “But when you called me Nik, it felt like you finally knew me, like you finally understood me. And despite that, you still chose me. I’ll forever be in your debt for choosing me, Caroline.”
“It wasn’t an easy choice,” she tells him in a small voice, and he nods because he understands, he always does. Klaus knows Caroline like they’re one and the same, and sometimes she feels like she has to catch up somehow, know every little thing there is to know so they’re standing on even ground, but until now there’s a hundred pages to Klaus Mikaelson that she still hasn’t uncovered. Maybe in time he’ll let her. “You’re worth it.”
He sucks in a deep breath, kissing her on the forehead repeatedly. “Remember what you said when you called me Nik?”
This time Caroline pulls back, if only to sit up a little and see him more clearly, supporting herself on one arm while holding out the other one to cup his face. She looks at him then, at Nik, Klaus, everything in between, and Caroline’s scared, because she never thought she’d feel this vulnerable before, this contented. She doesn’t know what to do if she loses this, loses him. Instead of pondering the negative thoughts, though, she swallows and smiles, repeating the words she said to him two years ago. “I love you, Nik.”
Klaus grins at her, then, and he’d deny this later for sure but Caroline’s certain his eyes are turning misty. “I love you, Caroline.”
-
They see each other again two weeks before the wedding.
They’re in a pub near Caroline’s work place, and she’s just came in after ditching the blind date her work mate set her up with (she’s still trying to find a date to Rebekah’s stupid wedding) when she sees him. He’s sitting at a table in the far back, and he looks up to meet her eyes just as she walks in.
“Caroline!” Her gaze turns to the man sitting beside Klaus, recognizing the brown locks and twisted smile immediately. “Come on over here, darling!”
She takes a few seconds to think of an escape but comes up empty, so with a resigned sigh she marches over. She is still a few paces away when Kol gets up to tackle her in a huge hug.
“I’ve missed your pretty face!” He laughs, rocking them both back and forth. Caroline can’t help but look at Klaus, right then, notes the way he’s looking at them and the way his fists are clenched on the table.
“Kol,” she tries to pull back, suddenly feeling the lack of oxygen from the tight embrace. “You literally saw me the other day when you picked up Bekah from her final fitting.”
The younger Mikaelson finally pulls back, but tugs her to the table and practically pushes her down to the seat across from Klaus. “Yes, but that was one day too long to go without your presence, darling.”
Caroline rolls her eyes and tries not to look at the curly blonde in front of her. “I came here looking for alone time but you Mikaelsons never did learn your boundaries so really, I should’ve expected this.”
“What, trying to find a date for the big day?” Kol asks almost too casually, and if Caroline hadn’t known Kol since they were fifteen she would have bought it, honestly, but Klaus’ sharp intake of breath is a dead give away and Caroline knew better.
Still, she’s not if a little petty (and she doesn’t want to look pathetic to her ex, okay?) so she just gives an exasperated sigh and goes along. “Well, the two guys Bonnie set me up with in a row weren’t exactly promising.”
Klaus flinches and Caroline looks everywhere but him. Kol, though, hums in mock interest. “Interesting. Do tell me more, but first let me go get Enzo from the bar and I’ll grab a little something for you.”
Before she can make any type of protest, Kol darts away from the table, leaving her and Klaus alone.
“Caroline–“
“I didn’t tell Cami,” she blurts out before Klaus can continue, face already screwing up in visible distress. “I know, very cowardly of me, but honestly I really tried to tell her, but I just couldn’t do that to her, you know?”
Klaus looks at her for a beat before taking a deep breath through his nose. “I was under the impression that you would handle it, love.”
“I did handle it!” Caroline protests with a glare, not even acknowledging the endearment. “I told her you’re Rebekah’s brother, which you are, and that I already knew you.”
“If I recall you more than knew me,” he throws back with a tilt to his head, and it’s been so long since she’s faced this Klaus, all banter and sharp wit and annoying. She isn’t sure she’s completely ready for it.
“I don’t know if you know, but Cami really likes you, Klaus,” Caroline deflates, looking down at her hands so she wouldn’t have to look at his eyes. She’s scared of what she’ll find there; scared even more that she’ll find nothing. “I don’t want to ruin this for her.”
He throws his glass of whiskey back with a slight wince. “You don’t get to make all the decisions, Caroline.”
This time she directs a full-on, queen bee, head cheerleader glare at him, not even second-guessing to meet his stare one on one. “Why does it even matter? We dated, big freaking deal. It won’t change anything. I just didn’t want to make things awkward when that could have been avoidable from the start!”
“Exactly,” Klaus bites back. “We dated, Caroline. For five years, at that. Definitely not something my girlfriend of three months who also happens to be your roommate would like to know.”
Caroline tries to think of something to say, anything to defend her stance or to downplay the impact of his words, but her mind is stuck on ‘girlfriend’ and she’s never hated herself more. God.
“This was a mistake,” she mumbles, gathers her things despite feeling Klaus’ attention snap towards her. “I’ll just find another bar. Or go home, whatever. I’m too sober for this conversation.”
She gets up to leave, already feeling exhaustion in her veins, but Klaus’ next words stop her.
“You’re not wearing it anymore.”
Instinctively her hand drifts to her left wrist, where the skin is bare of any jewelry and where sometimes she still feels the weight of the diamond bracelet he’d given her. Closing her eyes but not turning back to face Klaus again, Caroline smiles with a helpless shrug of her shoulders. “I don’t have the right to wear it anymore.”
When Kol comes back with drinks in tow, he finds Klaus with his face buried in his hands and his hair all mussed up. He’s alone.
-
There’s a slight tremble in her hands when she took the paper inside the envelope out. She hasn’t opened it since the previous night when Klaus gave it to her, but now she feels like she has to, especially since their date had gone perfectly and he didn’t even kiss her good night when he dropped her off and Caroline is so bad at this, believing she is enough, and she needs to know what’s inside.
Unfolding the yellow-stained paper, she barely conceals a gasp.
There, drawn with delicate lines and perfect shading, Caroline’s face stares back at her. She’s wearing her cheer uniform underneath a zip up hoodie and she’s grinning brightly, chin resting on one hand with the other holding onto a glass of soda with a striped straw. It’s her on that dinner they had after the cheerleading competition that led to her meeting Klaus, and she never even knew he paid enough attention then to remember such details, thought for the longest time that he had asked her out just to annoy Rebekah.
Underneath the sketch, three simple words are written in the same penmanship as the one on the envelope.
Congratulations, love.
Klaus.
Caroline doesn’t think, merely shoves the paper back in the envelope hastily and grabs her car keys from her nightstand. She runs to her car and just drives, doesn’t even know where she’s going until she’s already pulling up outside the Mikaelson mansion, hoping Klaus hasn’t gone out of town just yet.
She knocks, and it feels weird to be there for anyone other than Rebekah. She’s been to the mansion enough times now to be introduced to everyone who lived there, but she only ever hung out with the younger blonde before.
The door swings open and reveals Kol, who only smirks at the sight of her before shouting. “Nik, there’s someone at the door for you!”
Caroline huffs and just gives him a ‘really?’ look, which only makes the younger Mikaelson smile wider.
“Would you like to come in, darling?”
“Nope, I’ll wait here.” She answers perkily, tapping her foot. Kol shrugs at her before walking back inside the house, leaving the front door open.
Caroline is just starting to convince herself to just leave before she embarrasses herself when Klaus shows up at the door, still wearing his dinner clothes but barefoot. “Caroline?”
“Hi,” she blurts out, smoothing her palms over the sides of her dress. She knows how weird this must look to him, having her standing at his front door just a few minutes after he dropped her off and with a franticness in her eyes that really would have freaked most guys out by now. “So I didn’t really open your graduation present until earlier after you dropped me off, and it’s beautiful, honestly, you’re really talented.”
Klaus looks more confused by the second, but he steps closer to her and closes the front door behind him. “Thank you, love.”
“And then I realized,” she continues with a harsh gulp. “That it’s always been real, you know? At least for you. And I never knew that before, because I’m a neurotic control freak with real insecurities and–“
“You’re rambling, Caroline.”
“Ugh, I know!” Caroline groans, slapping a palm against her forehead before breathing out slowly to calm herself. “I guess what I’m saying is…”
“Yes?” Klaus prompts, a smile already forming on his stupidly pink lips and seriously, why does he do that? Caroline’s torn between wanting to just run away and forget this all happened to save her from further humiliation and throwing herself at him.
“Just…damn it!”
She throws herself at him. She’s not proud of it.
But Klaus, he catches her like he expected it to happen, wraps his arms around her waist securely and leans down to meet her lips, and honestly, the rambling and the throwing herself thing? So worth it.
Caroline’s three seconds away from skipping the wedding altogether when Cami spots her, waving her free hand to catch her attention because her other hand is wrapped around Klaus’ arm. Caroline smiles but she’s sure it’s more like a grimace, and then mentally curses Rebekah for putting her through this. Seriously, damn her for getting married. Ugh.
“The venue is so nice!” Cami gushes to her once they’re standing in front of each other. “You really outdid yourself here, Care.”
“Thanks,” she tells her roommate before pointing at different places in the venue, completely ignoring the man beside her. “There’s a mobile bar there if you want refreshments, though I’ll advise against alcohol before the ceremony because we want to avoid any scandals and all. On the opposite side is the snacks bar, which you are free to indulge in however much you like. They offer unlimited cream puffs. The seats are labeled and color-coded, but since you’re Klaus’ plus one yours is the blank one on his right. Oh, I see Enzo’s friends, I’m gonna go orient them real quick. Bye!”
Caroline mentally slaps herself at her hasty exit as she walks away, but really, she does not have time for distractions. She’s promised Rebekah the wedding of her dreams, and since she hasn’t been as hands-on as she would have liked on other aspects except the actual program and venue, she’s determined to get this right. Plus, she already skipped the wedding rehearsal the other night in fear of meeting more Mikaelsons than she could handle (that would not go well and she still isn’t sure how she plans to avoid them today) so she sort of owes Rebekah and Enzo, even if she had been the one who introduced them to each other during college.
Today will be perfect. She’ll ensure it.
Of course, just as she repeats the words in her head, that’s the exact moment a familiar male voice shouts her name behind her.
“Caroline! Since when did you and Klaus get back together?”
Goddammit.
-
The dress she’s wearing is lavender and tulle and it’s probably the prettiest she’s ever worn. Trying to take deep, calming breaths to soothe her own anxieties, Caroline touches up her make up once again in one of the hotel lobby’s many mirrors. She cannot look less than perfect, and she cannot have lipstick on her teeth–how embarrassing would that be?
“You look ravishing, love,” she meets Klaus’ eyes through the mirror, letting out a small smile.
“I look nervous,” she corrects with a slight chuckle. “Which is not entirely false.”
This time she turns around just as he moves closer, allowing him to take her hands in his and letting a small sigh at the feel of his thumbs caressing the backs of her hands. They stay like that for a few moments, silent and warm and content.
“You’ve nothing to be nervous about,” Klaus tells her amusedly. “My immediate family already knows who you are and they love you. The rest that you’ll meet today are inconsequential snobs.”
“Don’t call them that!” She can’t help but laugh, stepping into his space further and wrapping her lithe arms around his torso. Klaus isn’t one for public displays of affection, but sometimes he doesn’t even notice that they do it, and Caroline’s thankful that that’s the case at the moment. “I just don’t like the idea of everyone looking at me like I’m some sort of a new shiny thing at an exhibit, you know? I’d hate to get the attention from Sage and Finn.”
Klaus tucks a stray curl to her ears before tugging one of her hands up for a kiss. “It would be impossible not to pay attention to you, love. You walk inside a room and you radiate so much light, so much beauty. You practically demand eyes on you.”
“Ugh,” she groans with a roll of her eyes, making the both of them laugh. “Anyone in particular I should be worried about?”
“Just stay away from our distant cousins and you’ll be fine,” Klaus tells her, feigning seriousness. “Here.”
Klaus takes the hand he just kissed and Caroline feels something cold meeting the skin of her wrist, so she looks down and gasps at the sigh of a shiny, diamond bracelet glaring back at her, elegantly glinting in the shapes of infinities. “What…”
“It completes your look,” Klaus tries to downplay, causing Caroline to look up at him with her infamous glare and making him laugh. “It’s yours. Just take it, love.”
Feeling like her chest would burst any minute from the complete and addicting feeling of happiness in her veins, Caroline reaches up to give him a soft kiss. “I’ll never take it off.”
-
Everyone within a ten-foot radius stops and stares at her, Marcel’s words ringing in the air. Caroline wants to run, just leave and never come back, and it’s so annoying that she can’t, especially when she practically feels Cami’s stare digging into her bones.
“Marcel,” she turns around to greet the man who had caused the entire ruckus, a distant cousin of the Mikaelsons and one of Klaus’ best friends growing up. She had only met him a few times over the years, the man having lived in New Orleans all his life. “I didn’t know you’d be here.”
He laughs, pearl white teeth glistening in the natural light of the sun when he throws his head back. “Of course I’d be here! You, on the other hand, I never imagined I’d see again.”
“Oh,” Caroline says stupidly before faking a laugh. “Rebekah made me organize a few things, you know her.”
“Where’s Klaus?” Marcel asks, trying to look around. Caroline’s fingers cross behind her in hopes he doesn’t spot his cousin and his freaking girlfriend while he does so. “Can I just say finally? I haven’t seen Klaus as devastated when you guys broke it off since Henrik.”
Caroline freezes on the spot, mouth slightly hanging open because surely she heard wrong? Surely Marcel did not really compare their break up to Henrik? She feels like her chest is being pressed down suddenly, like she can’t breathe if she spends one more second there under the scrutiny of just about everyone, the other Mikaelson relatives finally recognizing her, Marcel looking at her expectantly for a reply, Cami trying to catch her eye for some sort of explanation. Finally Caroline lifts her eyes up and meets Klaus’, a million questions running between them and they’re all unanswered, for such a long time Caroline had believed they’d never be answered, and everything is just too much, so she barely manages to excuse herself before turning away and walking off.
-
“Who’s Henrik?” Her words are uncertain, tentative, with just the right amount of careful detachment to be ready for any lashing out that Klaus might do. They’re in his car driving towards the apartment she’s renting in the city, and she’s wanted to ask him this question for the last three years, ever since she’s traced the name tattooed on his inner right bicep the first night they spent together.
He had been asleep at that time, merely shuffling at the sensation of her fingertips running over his sensitive skin, and when he awoke Caroline had lost the nerve to question him. Now she suddenly remembers it without any triggers, just the feel of Klaus’ hands shifting from the gearshift to her hand to squeeze it. Caroline takes note of the noticeable stiffening of his muscles, his tensed jaw, the way he pulls his hand back as if burned. She doesn’t know what to make of it.
“It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it,” she hurries, even when she feels the beginnings of disappointment lining up her insides, twisting her stomach. She’d never force him to open up to her, never use his demons against him as some sort of trust exercise. She knows he’s been through a lot, knows there’s a million corners in his brain she hasn’t explored just yet. She won’t use his love for her to get him to tour her around. She refuses. “I was just wondering.”
When he finally speaks, there’s almost some sort of sick relief in Caroline’s chest, because he trusts her, lets her become an outlet when for so long he’s only ever had himself. At least, even if it would never be enough, talking to Caroline about it meant digging inside of himself for the things he has hidden, taking a small part of it and giving it to her. She hopes it eases his pain just a little bit.
She holds his hand through all of it, doesn’t even question when he pulls up at the side of the road, buries his face in his hands and cries, just takes off her seatbelt so she could wrap her arms around him.
When he finishes, his eyes are puffy and Caroline is trying to subtly wipe her eyes on the sleeves of her white shirt. He notices, of course he does, but they don’t say anything. He starts the engine, continues driving until they reach her apartment, and then they just lie on the bed, holding each other through the night. It’s enough.
-
The ceremony goes on without a hitch. Rebekah is the perfect blushing bride, Enzo a handsome groom. Amidst the clapping of the guests as they kiss, she chances a look at Klaus who has Cami resting her head on his shoulders, and Caroline thinks she’ll never have this, the sense of security and contentedness that only the purest and most intense of loves can bring, and she waits for the sadness and grief at the future she lost to come. It doesn’t come, not right away, but that doesn’t make her feel any better. Just empty.
She helps Rebekah hop in her second dress for the reception, trying to stay quiet beyond the mandatory congratulating words, but of course the younger blonde sees through her. Rebekah only speaks up when Caroline finishes zipping her cocktail dress up, meeting her eyes through the vanity mirror. “You look miserable.”
“Don’t start,” she tries for a teasing tone but fails miserably.
Rebekah smiles sadly at her then, and this time a few traitorous tears slip out without her consent. “He isn’t happy, you know. Not as much as he was with you.”
Caroline sighs. “Rebekah–“
“It’s true, Caroline,” the bride tells her, and she’s so serious, Caroline realizes, but she doesn’t know how to feel about it. “You guys should talk. Even if it’s just for closure, if nothing else.”
And Caroline bulks, literally deflates, because this is it, isn’t it? This is how they end, and she’s not ready. She doesn’t want closure, doesn’t want to close their chapter permanently, because even when they’ve been separated for the past two years she’s never really lost all hope that eventually they’d find their way back to each other, because she’s certain she’d never love anyone else like she loves him. It’s why seeing him with Cami hurts so much; not because of some sort of claim she still has on him or because of the awkwardness or whatever. It hurts because of the crushing realization that she’s alone in this, that he’s already accepted that they won’t ever get their chance again.
A part of Caroline hopes she had known that this is how it’s going to end, somehow, back when she was eighteen and before she had opened that drawing he gave her the night of her graduation, before she had thrown all caution to the wind and kissed him on his front door. Maybe then she’d have cherished the five years she’s had with him more. Maybe she’d know from the start not to hold out hope, not to love him even when she couldn’t see him, not to give him all her heart so that there’d be a piece of it still left in her now hollow chest. She wishes she had known. Maybe it would hurt less that way.
“I don’t want closure, Bekah,” she admits with a choked sob, dropping to the chair next to the vanity because her legs are giving out, her body is failing her and everything hurts. “I don’t want it to end. Is that so wrong?”
And she hates herself, just a little, because it’s Rebekah’s wedding, and the guests are all waiting for them to go back to the reception but here she is unloading her heartaches and the bride’s the one comforting her. “It’s okay if it hurts, Caroline.”
“Is it?” She asks, and she’s a little bit afraid of the answer.
Rebekah hugs her, tight and sound and Caroline feels herself crumble. “It only means that you love him, Caroline. And I for one am so grateful that someone loves my brother to the extent that you do.”
-
They end at the beginning.
It’s Caroline’s graduation, and she’s holding the red toga and cap in one hand, her diploma on the other, and she feels like crying just a little. Her feet sway impatiently and the plastic chair digs uncomfortably in her ass and thighs, but it’s not the reason she’s so upset.
He didn’t come.
He said he would.
The ceremony’s been over for two hours when he shows up, still in his airport clothes, hair disheveled, face screwed up in apology and regret. He drops down next to her, but there’s a space between them that wasn’t there before, along with a looming sense of loss. They both know what’s coming.
“I’m so sorry, love,” he tells her and she believes him. She knows he’s sorry, because she is too. “My flight got cancelled, and there was a traffic jam near the airport, and–“
“It’s okay,” she tells him, because it’s the truth. The past year has been difficult, with him moving to New Orleans for his job and her finishing her final year in college. They love each other, she has no doubts about that, but sometimes she feels like they’re outgrowing each other, too. Sometimes she feels like they’re holding each other back. But she loves him so much, and she can’t help but feel like she’s losing her limbs every time he leaves.
“Caroline…”
“I love you, Nik,” she says instead, voice catching in her throat at the last minute. This time she lets him see her cry, because he never did whenever they end their phone calls or whenever she drives him to the airport. “So much.”
She sees the agony in his face, sees tears lining his blue eyes. God, she loves his eyes. “Tell me what to do, Caroline. Tell me how to make this better.”
“You can’t,” she cries, finally lifting a hand to lay it onto his. “We can’t.”
“I love you,” he insists, but doesn’t he get it? She doesn’t doubt him, not one bit, because she still feels his love encapsulate her every second, feels the tendrils of his emotions wrap around her at night when he isn’t there to do the same. But sometimes it’s not a matter of love, even if Caroline wishes it were. Sometimes people are only meant as stepping stones for something bigger, even if she can’t understand how something could possibly bigger than this, than them. “I can’t live without you, Caroline.”
“You have to,” she tells him, and then she gets up, presses a kiss on his forehead and walks away. And Klaus, he knows her, has memorized all there is to memorize about her, and he knows it’s the only way, so he lets her go.
-
He finds her after the toasts, sitting on a metal swing that she isn’t sure is sturdy enough to carry her weight if the rust, the chipped white paint and the vines wrapping around it say enough. She hears him approach, of course, hears the swing croak as he settles beside her, but she doesn’t acknowledge his presence just yet.
“Camille went home,” Klaus tells her, and they both recognize the significance of his words but they choose not to dwell upon it.
Caroline pauses, throws the words around her head hoping for something to sound right but nothing does. Instead she settles for this: “Was it really that bad? Marcel said…”
“I was a boy when Henrik died, Caroline,” her name coming from his lips sounds sinful still, and perfect, the way it’s always been. Sometimes she still dreams of it, the sound of his accented voice when he says her name, and sometimes she doesn’t sleep at all because she’s afraid she’d forget it in when she wakes. “When I lost you, I lost everything.”
Her hands are trembling, but by now Caroline has accepted the fact that that’s just his effect on her and nothing will change that. “You didn’t.”
“I did,” he insists. She feels his warmth radiating from him, feels the space between them like they’re miles instead of inches. All she wants to do is close the distance, to press against his side and revel in the feel of him once more, to confirm that it would still feel the same but so afraid that it won’t. “When you left, you took everything. I let you.”
“You let me,” Caroline agrees. Her eyes prickle at the onslaught of memories but she lets them rush through her, because what they had is something she might never have again, and even if it’s the most painful thing she would ever experience, she’d choose to remember every single detail if it meant she’d never forget him. “But when I left, I left every part of me with you, too. Sometimes I wish I could get them back. Other times I’m just content with the fact that they’re in good hands.”
He inhales sharply at her words, and then sighs heavily. “Where did we go wrong, love?”
“We didn’t,” Caroline says with a slight shake of her head. “We just went in different directions, I guess.”
“But now you’re in London,” Klaus points out, and they finally look at each other. He’s freshly shaven, and there’s a raise in his eyebrow at the statement that makes Caroline smile.
“For the record, when I moved I totally didn’t know you’d be here, too,” she retorts, making the both of them chuckle. “But yeah. I am.”
He moves closer, until she can finally feel the heat of his thighs pressing into hers against the fabric of their respective clothes. “So I’m guessing we’re in the same direction now, then?”
Caroline ignores his words. “Do I have to find a different roommate now? Because that would suck.”
Klaus huffs, but it’s more of amusement than trepidation, if anything. “Camille didn’t take it too well, no. But she’s always known that I wasn’t a hundred percent invested in the relationship as she was. Finding out why was the final straw, I reckon.”
She tries to hide the flinch that came at his recognition of his relationship with her roommate. She fails. “That sucks.”
Klaus only gives her a look that says ‘really?’ before turning back to face the view in front of them.
“I didn’t want to hurt her.” Caroline confesses in a small voice, playing with her fingers. “She’s my friend. Cami.”
“You didn’t hurt her, love.” Klaus reassures, and suddenly he’s holding her hand, fingers wrapping around the space where her bracelet once occupied. With the heat of his skin there, for the first time since she took the jewelry off Caroline did not feel like there’s something missing, just feels like something’s finally clicked into place. “I did.”
“But really, another blonde?” She teases, giving him a playful look so reminiscent of the ones she would give him when they’re younger and bantering was all they knew that he has to blink multiple times. “You have a type.”
They stay quiet for a few lingering seconds, Klaus still holding onto her hand, getting tighter now by the second as if he’s afraid she’d pull back. She’s more afraid that she wouldn’t.
“I’m sorry I left,” she finally says. It’s crazy how much weight she feels has lifted when she finally gets the words out, crazier still how when he squeezes her hand all she feels is this calmness that she’s become unfamiliar with since the night they broke it off.
“I wasn’t exactly innocent, love,” Klaus tries to joke but it falls flat. “I’m sorry I made you make the decision on your own.”
Caroline catches his eye and holds his gaze. “So, where do we go from here?”
It came gradually, but there’s this looming sense of “at last” when Klaus finally leans down and their lips meet in a soft kiss. There are still a lot things left unsaid and she’s sure it would take them years to unpack it all, but Caroline’s never been more certain of something than in that moment.
Their love came with a lot of pain–pain that gave them both scars they would probably carry with them their whole lives. She knows that there will come a day when they will grow numb to this pain; forget it like the last name of a classmate in middle school they can’t be bothered to recall. It’ll be like a pimple scar at the base of their spine that they’d forgotten was ever there, except it is. Caroline thinks it will never leave.
But she’ll grow, they both will. They’ll replace their armors with more durable battle gear. The scars will be there, sure, but other scars will mar their skins as well, more hurtful ones, more important over the years. They will all be a testament to their strength, their endurance, their love.
It would hurt like a bitch, and it would be so worth it.
End.