Work Text:
“So bakit nga ba kayo nag-break?” Tanong ni Yeri nung tumapat ang bote kay Joohyun.
The college friends are having their get together tonight. Finally, nakakita na rin sila ng common free time nila. They’ve been planning for months to meet kahit dinner and chill inuman lang but their schedules just won’t meet. It’s so hard to gather when everyone’s busy and doing their own thing. Unlike nung college na isang message lang sa lahat, wala pang isang oras, nasa apartment na sila ng isa para magkwentuhan at uminom.
Most of them are here. Well, except Jun. He said he can’t make it tonight since busy siya sa thesis niya for his master’s. Hindi na ata nagsawa mag-aral yung kaibigan nila pero yun naman talaga ang plano ni Jun simula pa noon.
And then there’s Joohyun, being interrogated once again bakit nga ba sila nag-break.
It’s been a couple of years since they parted ways. And to say that everyone was shocked is an understatement. Lahat ata ng kaibigan nila expected that they’ll end up together — marry and build a family.
But it didn’t happen.
No one knows the real reason, even if their friends have endlessly asked them about it.
And tonight, it so happens that Joohyun’s the one present in the gathering kaya siya ang natanong.
“Hindi naman niya sasagutin, Yeri! Bakit tinanong mo pa. Sayang ang chance!” Baekhyun said, shooting daggers towards Yeri’s direction.
“Pwede pa bang ibahin?” Sooyoung asked.
“Ako may tanong! Wala ka bang dine-date ngayon?” Sehun asked.
Natatawa tawa si Joohyun habang pinapanood ang mga kaibigan niya. She drank the shot of liquor given to her. After which, she said something out of the blue.
“Sinabi ko ayaw ko na.”
Her friends immediately stopped talking and turned their heads to her. Joohyun was pouring herself another shot.
“Huy. Okay ka lang?” Chanyeol asked, almost grabbed the shot out of her hand but Joohyun already drank it.
“Yeah.” Sabi ng dalaga. Ngumiti ulit siya. It wasn’t a sad smile; but it wasn’t happy, either.
“Tapos?” Yeri urged her to tell further.
“Tumango lang siya. Tapos hinatid niya ako pauwi.” Joohyun casually told them. After a couple of years, to be able to tell this casually is a feat for her. For years, she has avoided answering questions. Sa totoo lang naman, she doesn’t owe them this story. And they know that. Sadyang wala lang ibang maiasar sa kanya yung mga kaibigan nila. She hasn’t dated anyone since then, too. She was too focused on her career to even think about dating.
Tangina.” Chanyeol said out of the blue. “Ang labo niyo.”
Tumawa muli si Joohyun.
“Anong nakakatawa dito?” Sooyoung blurted. “Yung puso ko ang sakit na naman para sa otp ko.”
“Let it go, Sooyoung.” Joohyun told her friend. “Alam niyo, kayo talaga yung hindi nakakamove on eh.”
“Hindi ata talaga. Ever.” Yeri said. “You were perfect together.”
“No we weren’t.” Joohyun whispered.
“Joo!” Wendy hugged her friend. “Long overdue tong hug na to pero...” Wendy embraced her friend tighter.
“Huy okay lang ako. Ano ba.” Joohyun returned Wendy’s hug. “I can finally say I’m okay kasi I’m able to tell this.”
“We know it’s not our business talaga pero dahil chismosa ako,” Seulgi paused. She bit her nail. When Joohyun didn’t say anything, she went on. “Bakit? I mean, may nagawa ba si Jun?”
“Wala.” Joohyun shook her head. “Please don’t think anything bad about him. Promise, wala talaga siyang ginawang masama. If there’s one wrong thing he did, though, it was loving me.”
Her friends looked at her, still shocked with Joohyun’s story.
“So why?” Tanong ni Sehun habang inaabot ang bote ng alak. He poured himself a drink. Ang intense.
“This will probably the first and last time I’m going to say this.” For a moment, parang bumalik si Joohyun nung gabing yun.
They were in his apartment, watching a movie together. He was playing with her hair while she savored his touch.
It was supposed to be another ordinary day for the two of them. They were hanging out as usual. She cannot remember how things happened. Everything was sudden. She didn’t plan on this. But when was preparing to go, she suddenly said, “Hindi na ako masaya.”
Napatigil si Jun sa pag-aayos ng sarili. Lumipas ang ilang segundo at lumingon ito sa kanya. Joohyun kept a straight face. Hindi niya alam bakit nasabi niya yun. Kanina lang naman okay sila but suddenly, here she was — telling him that she isn’t happy anymore.
Inayos ni Jun ang damit niya at unti unting lumapit kay Joohyun. He stopped a couple of steps in front of her. Napalitan ng poker face yung kaninang gulat na itsura ni Jun.
They looked at each other for a few minutes. Then suddenly, Jun nodded his head. “Okay.”
Walang sinabi si Joohyun. Instead, she steered her gaze away from him and started fixing her things. Jun watched her as Joohyun pulled a couple of books from the stack on his desk. Then she retrieved a shirt from his closet as well.
She was ready to go.
But before Joohyun was able to walk out the door, Jun called her.
“Joo.” She stopped to look at him. Lumakad muli papalapit sa kanya si Jun. Sinarado nito ang pintuan at tumingin kay Joohyun. “For the last time.” He softly said. “Can I kiss you?”
Joohyun looked at him. She knew she wanted to kiss him one last time too so she nodded her head.
And then she felt his lips on hers. For the last time.
It was supposed to be a quick kiss. A final peck. But soon, she was pushed against the wall, Jun’s hand cupped her face and kissed her deeper. Joohyun didn’t hesitate either, and kissed him with the same fervor. For the last time, she wrapped her hands around his neck and buried her fingers in his hair.
She can feel his tears streaming down his face as they kissed. Suddenly, she didn’t want to stop kissing him. Kung pwede lang na ganito lang.
But then he pulled away.
He wiped the tears on his face then grabbed her bag on the floor. “Tara na. Baka lalo kang gabihin.” He opened the door. She stood there frozen at first but followed him a few minutes later.
The walk back to her apartment was quiet. They didn’t hold hands like they used to. He even kept a good distance from her so that their hands won’t touch as they walked.
Finally, when they were in front of her apartment, he handed her her bag. “Ingat.”
“Ingat.”
Those were the last words they said to each other.
“Putangina.” Chanyeol cursed again once Joohyun was done telling the story. Hindi naman niya kinuwento lahat. Syempre hindi na niya binanggit yung tungkol sa last kiss nila — na hanggang ngayon last kiss pa rin niya.
Chanyeol asked Sehun for a shot.
“Bakit siya nag-agree na lang?” Sooyoung was frustrated.
“Bakit biglang hindi na lang masaya?” Yeri asked to no one in particular.
Umiling na lang din si Joohyun. Kahit siya kasi, hindi alam ang eksaktong sagot.
Hindi naman biglaan ang lahat. There were times when she felt unhappy, and she thought it’s natural. Hindi naman lahat ng relasyon laging masaya. But she never blamed Jun for anything. She has always felt his immense love for her. Overwhelming. Pure. Honest.
But she cannot say she felt exactly the same. She loves him. She’s sure. But her love for him felt so small compared to the love he gave her.
And that’s probably what made her unhappy. Not because she wasn’t receiving, but because she’s unable to give more.
“Pwede pa bang magtanong?” Baekhyun said.
“Ang daya niyo. Isang tanong lang dapat per turn!” Joohyun protested.
“Kalimutan na yang spin the bottle. Hindi yan ang importanteng topic ngayon.” Sambit ni Yeri.
“Umiyak ka ba?” Tanong ni Baekhyun.
“I did.” Joohyun confessed. “I was crying for days. Parang tanga no. Ako yung nagsabi na hindi na ako masaya. Ako yung umayaw pero umiiyak ako.”
“Kasi mahal mo.” Wendy said. “Didn’t you regret?”
“I did.” Joohyun confessed. “That same night, I kept calling him. But he won’t answer. That lasted for about a week. Parang tanga talaga no. Ako yung nakipag-break tapos ako yung tatawag. Naintindihan ko naman bakit ayaw niyang sagutin yung phone. Of course, he was hurt. And then a week later, I told myself that I’ll call him for the last time. If he picked up, I’ll apologize and ask if I could take everything back. If he didn’t, then that’s really the end.”
“And he didn’t pick up. Still.” Wendy concluded to which Joohyun nodded.
“If ever.” Sooyung started. “If ever lang naman Joo.” Sooyoung was making big gestures with her hands. “Maliit pa rin ang mundo niyo. Ikakasal na rin kami ni Baek and he’s invited. What if...” Sooyoung trailed off.
“What if?” Joohyun asked for the next part of the sentence.
“What if you meet again? And he tells you he loves you still?” Kinumpleto ni Yeri ang hanging sentence ni Sooyoung. “May pag-asa pa ba?”
Umiling si Joohyun.
“Kahit mahal mo pa?” Sehun added.
“Kahit mahal ka pa?” Chanyeol chimed in.
Joohyun kept shaking her head.
“Whyyyyyy?” Wendy lost it. Sehun handed her a shot and she downed it at once.
“Let him be happy!” Joohyun smiled at her friends. “I only wish for him to be genuinely happy.”
“Paano kung sayo yun?” Dagdag na tanong ni Baekhyun.
Ang dami dami namang tanong ng nga kaibigan niya. Parang hindi na natapos.
Joohyun shook her head again. “No.”
“Joo...” Sooyoung was close to tears.
“Tapos na kami. Tapos na yung storya namin. Kaya nga nakwento ko na sa inyo.” Joohyun said to her friends. “Oh.” She warned them. “Ang sabi walang lalabas dito ha.” She looked at Baekhyun and Chanyeol, and then to Sehun who kept handing drinks to everyone.
“Alam ko! Alam ko!” Baekhyun defended himself. “Bakit ba lagi na lang ako...”
“Tapos plot twist nasa labas pala si Jun no.” Sambit ni Chanyeol habang tumatawa nang malakas.
Everyone joined in and they resumed drinking and playing spin the bottle.
Little did they know, nagdilang anghel si Chanyeol.
Sa labas ng bahay nina Baekhyun, andun yung lalaking nabanggit. Jun was leaning against the wall next to the door. He heard most of her story. And her final words.
For the millionth time, he regretted it.
Sabi na nga ba. Dapat sinagot ko yung tawag.