Archive of Our Own ^beta

“We protect the river, and the river protects us. Our very lives come from the flow of the water and the creatures that call the rivers their homes. If you close your eyes, you can feel all the living things around us, feel every rock as the water flows around it. This is what it means to be a spirit of the water” The warm tone of his mother’s voice washed over Seokmin as her long delicate fingers combed through his hair. They were sitting on the river’s edge, feet just barely reaching the water’s surface. The water was cold, the weather only barely turning to spring. But Seokmin felt nothing but warmth as his head lay in his mother’s lap, small fingers curled over her knee as she spoke. 

“Are you listening?” His mother’s voice had been teasing, rapping a soft finger against his temple. 

“I’m listening!” Seokmin protested childishly, turning over to look up at his mother. She was beautiful, radiant in ways that he still couldn’t properly express. He knew that they looked alike, the forest nymphs had always said so, but he couldn’t imagine being quite as lovely as his mother was. 

“Good, because these are things you’ll need to know. I’m not always going to be here with you” His mother’s long dark hair fell over him like a curtain and he felt her lips on his forehead. 

“But I want you here with me always! Why can’t you always be here?” Seokmin protested, chewing onto the inside of his cheek worriedly. It was hard to grasp as a child that a parent wasn’t always going to be there for him. Especially when his mother was the only family he’d ever known. He’d seen human families by the river sometimes and they always seemed astoundingly big: Mothers, Fathers, Uncles, Aunts, Grandparents, Cousins. All Seokmin had was a Mother, but he loved her very much. 

“That’s the way of the world, my little tadpole, new life begins and others fade. When you’re old enough I’m going to entrust the river to you and you’re going to take care of it for me, okay?” Seokmin still didn’t quite understand, but he nodded determinedly anyway. 

One day, this river was going to be his to protect. 

His Mother faded when he turned eighteen. 

That was the way of spirits, for they were never truly ‘born’. A spirit merely lived their lives for as long as they could, and when the world weariness started to take them they would pass their life onto another. For eighteen years they would raise the young spirit who would be their successor, pass along all the knowledge they had gained in their long life as a spirit. Then, when the child was ready they would let their remaining life dissipate and pass along to the new spirit. 

It was the beautiful, cyclical nature of the world. Everything would fade and begin anew. 

That didn’t mean that Seokmin didn’t mourn. His friends had held him as he’d wept for days, as he had kept reliving the moment that his mother had disappeared. He missed her, the way she sang to him and the way she’d smile when he did well. 

~~~

“Seokmin, you need to leave this place.”

“Seokminnie, you’re only hurting yourself.”

“Please Seokmin, I hate seeing you like this.”

“The river is dying Seokmin, you’re dying.” 

How many times had his friends said this to him now? Too many times to really count. 

It hadn’t been that way from the beginning. Seokmin had inherited a healthy river, the bed was full of rocks that small fish swam between. The banks were lined with grass, wildflowers and the occasional tall tree. It was in all instances a picturesque place to call home. Jeonghan, Wonwoo, and Seungkwan, his tree spirit friends, used to sit by the banks and trade stories. Their stories were always more interesting than Seokmin’s as they traveled through the forest and collected gossip from other spirits. River spirits largely lived far apart from one another, so Seokmin could only share what little he knew. 

But he had been the first one to know about the University being built. You see, before the University, the only human civilization near the river had been a very small town near one end of the river, a ways down from the spot that Seokmin had chosen to live, but still part of his domain. It had meant that Seokmin didn’t get to interact with humans much, which had been a little disappointing after hearing all the stories that Jeonghan told him. Then, something new and exciting happened. There were builders there, and Seokmin would travel down the river to watch with excited eyes as the biggest building he’d ever seen was erected within walking distance of the river’s edge. 

It was great! There were so many people! And then when the building was done, there were suddenly more people! Young people! Seokmin spent days watching students wandering back and forth to classes, hanging out with one another, talking on their phones, reading from big books that they carried around. Wonwoo and Jeonghan seemed to find his fascination relatively amusing, but Seungkwan would come and sit with him sometimes, both carefully hidden behind a rock. Seungkwan was even brave enough to talk to some of them sometimes. He was better at his human disguise than Seokmin was, he definitely had more practice at it. 

The University was the biggest and most exciting thing to happen in his many years of life.

Until it started killing him.

While Seokmin was fascinated by the students and their school, the students didn’t seem to treat him and his river in equal measure. Students would have parties by the riverside, or big events, and they wouldn’t clean up after themselves. Cans, plastic cups, snack bags, and a plethora of other garbage would end up in his waters, flowing down to the place he called home. Seokmin’s river had never been very deep, so the debris would get caught on the rocky riverbed and disrupt the flow of water and get stuck there. It didn’t even take too many parties before his waters were clogged with the remnants of someone else’s good time. 

Instead of colorful little fish playing in the water, there were plastic bags with brightly colored logos. Instead of the water happily burbling over the rocks, there was the sound of aluminum cans hitting against the stones as they were rocked by the water. Instead of flowers on the riverbed, there was a mosaic of different plastics buried in the gritty sand. 

There was one thing his Mother had never explained clearly to him. That if the river dies, so does the spirit. 

Now, the spirit can move on to another body of water before that happens. Spirits can freely travel to new homes when they wish to. Sometimes it’s necessary, especially in the case of human intervention. 

Because sometimes you can’t save your home on your own. Seokmin wasted so much energy trying to keep his river from dying. 

Think of it like this, you’re covered in ink. You very diligently scrub and scrub until every spot of ink is removed. But while you were cleaning, someone else was making new ink marks, so you scrub those too. It’s impossible to keep up with the person who is making new marks, but you also end up exhausting yourself even trying to keep up with it. Now also imagine that the more you become covered in ink, the more tired and sick you feel? There was no way to win. 

“Please Seokmin, at least consider moving somewhere else” Jeonghan’s voice was soft and pleading as he stroked his fingers through Seokmin’s hair. 

It was a beautiful evening, but Seokmin didn’t quite have the energy to enjoy it. Instead he just let his head fall heavy on Jeonghan’s thigh and let the other pet his hair. It reminded him of when his mother had passed, Jeonghan had held him just like this and his beautiful hands had swept through his hair for hours while Seokmin had wept. It was morbid really, that it felt similar now that he was the one who might be dying. 

No one knew exactly how long a spirit took to pass away if their home was destroyed. For some, in the instance of a tree cutting down or a mudslide into a river, it could be an instant. But for others, it was a slow death. It could also depend on how much energy you expended trying to keep the river alive, it made you weaker much quicker. 

Seokmin merely shook his head into the soft flesh of Jeonghan’s thigh. He’d given up speaking a few days ago when it took too much energy. He knew that scared his friends, Wonwoo’s brows became pinched, Seungkwan looked close to tears at all times, and Jeonghan grew extra vocal in trying to convince Seokmin to move somewhere else. 

But this was his mother’s river, the one he had sworn to protect. Leaving it, giving up on it, felt like betraying her and her memory. The river was the only thing he had left of her. 

So, Seokmin let himself grow weaker despite his friend’s pleading. 

They all knew that he didn’t have much longer left. The trio of tree spirits started visiting more often and staying in the trees near the river, spending their days with Seokmin. 

After Jeonghan left, Seokmin laid out on the riverside and stared up at the stars. It was a beautiful clear night. On nights like these his mother had pointed out the constellations to him, taking his small hand and pointing his fingers toward the stars. He wondered if maybe she was out there, in some form, and was proud of him for keeping his promise to do his best to protect the river. Or maybe she was disappointed that he didn’t protect it better? If she was out there, maybe Seokmin would get to see her again soon. 

His grim thoughts were interrupted by the sound of someone stumbling through the grass in the dark, feet crunching on a wayward plastic cup. At first Seokmin thought that maybe it was another party, but it wasn’t loud enough for the revelry that usually came with a party. Then, he’d thought maybe it was a couple sneaking out here for a late night rendezvous. Seokmin had seen that a few times even if he hadn’t necessarily wanted to. But Seokmin didn’t hear the giggles and mingled breaths that came along with that. 

It was when he heard hitching breath and something that distinctly sounded like a sob that Seokmin used what little energy he had to prop himself up with his hands. Farther down the riverbank was the curled shape of a person, male if Seokmin had to guess though he didn’t like to assume. The figure’s back shook as he took another breath, long willowy arms grasped around his knees so tightly. 

Clearly it was meant to be a private moment, and Seokmin felt like he probably shouldn’t intrude. But since the river and the bank had become so filthy hardly anyone came down to the edge like this anymore, not alone. There was something also very alluring about his sorrow, it expressed a lot of what Seokmin was feeling at the moment. As if the world had seen his suffering and decided to send him a kindred spirit to make his last moments easier. 

The human looked up when he inched closer, and Seokmin was taken aback a little by how lovely he was. Even with tear tracks on his cheeks that shined silvery in the moonlight, his face was narrow and elfin looking, with soft pink lips turned down in a frown. Seokmin barely remembered to disguise his less human looking features before the human’s large dark eyes caught sight of him. 

“Fuck!” The young man choked out as frantic hands scrambled to wipe away the tears on his cheeks, “I’m sorry I didn’t think anyone else would be out here. I didn’t mean to ruin your night or anything” His voice was almost sweet sounding, with an accent that suggested he probably wasn’t Korean. 

Though he could feel every muscle in his body protesting, Seokmin shook his head rapidly and moved further down the bank until he was next to the young man. Very slowly, telegraphing his moves so that the other could pull away at any time if he was uncomfortable, Seokmin took the stranger’s hands away from his face and held them in his own, squeezing them gently. If the universe had sent him this person, then Seokmin was going to pay back all the loving comfort that his friends had been giving him. Surprisingly, the human didn’t seem to be too scared by his actions. His body even seemed to deflate a little as he curled his fingers in Seokmin’s grasp. 

“I didn’t want anyone to see me like this” He continued with a sigh, another tear silently streaking down his face. Seokmin nodded slowly, and inclined his head so that the other would continue. “It’s kind of dumb anyway, I was the one who broke it off, I shouldn’t be out here crying.” 

Seokmin hadn’t ever been in a relationship before, but he had a few brief flings with other spirits, and he learned quite a bit from observing humans. It was probably good that his voice had given out a few days ago, because he probably wasn’t the best person to give advice on the subject. But he could squeeze the stranger’s hands encouragingly, and move a little closer to offer the warm support of his side. 

“I knew Mingyu was in love with Jihoon. I’ve always known. It’s stupid, but I guess I thought maybe he’d look at me the same way someday. He asked me out and I thought, maybe, we could be something more. But I was always second for him” The human mumbled quietly, which made Seokmin move closer to hear him. “He thought Jihoon didn’t like him back, but it was so easy to see he’s always been in love with him too.”

The stranger froze for a moment in hesitation before leaning into Seokmin’s offered shoulder, seemingly tired from his emotional outpouring. 

“I just...I just hope they can figure it out now. I want them both to be happy” Seokmin carefully lifted a hand to stroke the human’s dark black hair. It was taking the place of the reassurances that he would be giving if he could. While he wasn’t in a place to give advice, he could say that someone quite this pretty and with such a warm heart couldn’t ever be unwanted. The type of person who allowed well meaning strangers to comfort them couldn’t be alone forever. 

“Thank you” It came out as a whisper, “I’m sorry again for interrupting your night.” Seokmin shook his head to deny the apology, offering the young man a soft smile. 

“I’m Minghao '' The stranger continued softly, “And I probably should get back before Mingyu works himself up into a panic. I kind of ran out of our apartment.” The last part was admitted almost sheepishly as he carefully extracted his hands from Seokmin’s. 

While Seokmin would have liked nothing more than to tell Minghao his name, instead he just watched as Minghao carefully stood up and brushed sand off his dark colored jeans. Another little frown downturned his lips as he looked down to the water’s edge and where the trash was caught among the rocks there. 

“It’s so dirty here” Seokmin felt the statement pang through his heart. Of course this lovely human wouldn’t like it here, not while it was gross and filthy. 

Minghao leaned over and collected a few cans and wrappers with his long fingers. He tucked them carefully to his chest to keep them from falling. Looking back at Seokmin, a small smile flashed across his face as he nodded once before turning to head back to the illuminated University campus in the distance. 

~~~

Seokmin didn’t expect to see Minghao again. 

When Wonwoo had stopped by that morning and asked if anything had happened the previous night, Seokmin had just shaken his head. He didn’t have a voice to explain and something about that moment felt private. Besides, he doubted his friends would be overjoyed to hear his fatalistic theory that the universe had sent him a wandering soul to help in his dying days. So instead Wonwoo just looked at him skeptically before commenting that Seokmin seemed to be a little bit more energetic today. He’d smiled softly as he lightly pressed his hand to the curve of Seokmin’s shoulder. 

The tree spirit had left around midday, leaving Seokmin to lay in the water and conserve what little energy he had. 

Or at least, that was the plan until he heard a faint humming and the sound of a lot of cans clattering together. Sitting up in alarm caused his back to twinge painfully, but Seokmin gave it hardly any thought as he quickly climbed up out of the water to hide behind a tree on the embankment. 

Because it was Minghao. 

It was different seeing him with the light shining down on him, his hair shiny and his skin more golden than it had been in the moonlight. A large shirt billowed around his thin frame as he leaned over to dig a can out of the sand. The bottoms of his pants were damp like he’d been in the water. Seokmin watched with wide eyes as he deposited the can he’d dug out of the sand into a large bag hanging off his narrow shoulder, heard as it fell against many others. The bag looked nearly filled to the brim, and there was another hooked into the crook of his elbow that he appeared to be putting bits of plastic and snack bags. 

Seokmin put a hand to his chest where he felt his heart fluttering almost painfully, and tucked his legs up so that he could hide better behind the tree. Minghao had come back, and not only had he come back but he was cleaning . 

It felt wrong to just hide behind the tree and watch the human, but Seokmin was just so astounded. It didn’t feel like it was real. Why would he come back? Why would he come back and start helping like this? Seokmin wanted to run up to him and ask him, but he couldn’t even talk, and he was afraid that if this was some sort of illusion it would break in that moment. 

So he curled his arms around his knees instead and watched as Minghao lifted an arm to wipe his forearm across his head to clean off some of the sweat that had gathered there. Sometimes he could hear bits of humming as Minghao made his way along the river, a soft cheerful song that Seokmin couldn’t help but hum along to even if he didn’t entirely know the tune. He stopped when Minghao’s head snapped up like he’d heard him, searching the area around the tree as Seokmin tucked himself back further to try and avoid his gaze. 

The bags Minghao’s side were near bursting when he finally huffed out a breath and hauled them back up the riverbank. Hands were on his hips as he looked at the amount of things he’d collected, and Seokmin almost thought that he could see Minghao’s cheek lift into a smile from where he was still concealed behind the tree. 

“Who’s that?” The voice behind him almost made Seokmin jump out of his skin and he turned very quickly to make frantic hushing motions at Seungkwan. Thankfully, Minghao seemed too far away at this point to hear him. Seungkwan placed his hands on Seokmin’s shoulders and leaned around the tree to watch Minghao as he hauled up the bags of trash once more and started walking in the direction of the university. 

“Did he come here to clean?” Seungkwan asked, clearly delighted, and his smile grew even more when Seokmin dipped his chin in confirmation. Happily, he wrapped his arms around Seokmin. “How do you feel?” 

It took a moment, but Seokmin realized that some of the heavy weight had felt like it had lifted off of him. Not by much, given that it was only two bags of trash, but after months and months of feeling like he was dying, any relief felt like leaps and bounds. 

“Better” He mumbled, voice hoarse from disuse. It was worth it for the way Seungkwan lit up, and practically tackled him in his joy. 

~~~

Jeonghan, Wonwoo, and Seungkwan spend the next few days hovering around him. They asked questions about Minghao with hopeful gazes that Seokmin didn’t want to get too caught up in. He knows his friends wanted to believe that there’s going to be some way to save him. But he couldn’t know if Minghao was going to come back, maybe he saw how much there was the first day and decided it was an impossible task like Seokmin had. If he pinned all his hopes on Minghao, it was only going to hurt more if it turned out wrong. It would already hurt enough to see the hope of his friends be crushed. 

Only, a few days after Minghao came Seokmin was startled awake from lightly dozing in the sun by the loud sounds of laughter. It grew louder and Seokmin watched as a group crested over the hill from the University. There was more yelling that Seokmin could only sort of distinguish from that distance and in a just woken up haze, shouts to slow down and be careful. 

At first, the sight filled Seokmin with dread. More people coming down to the riverside was generally a bad thing, more trash left behind to gather in the waters. He wanted to cry a little at the thought of all Minghao’s hard work being erased in just a short afternoon. Even that small bit of energy that had gained him would be instantly taken away. It was almost worse than the idea of Minghao never coming back. 

But, as the dread settled into the pit of his stomach, it suddenly eased when he caught sight of a familiar figure at the back of the group. A wide brimmed hat was settled on his head and even from a distance Seokmin could see a wide amused smile on his lips as he watched his friends run on ahead. 

Minghao had come back . With friends. 

“Jun, you’re going to break your neck!” One of Minhao’s friends called out, seemingly trying to warn another that was laughing hysterically as he ran down the hill. 

It was enough to startle Seokmin out of his awe, and remind him that he should probably hide himself. He crept behind a rock just as Minghao’s friends reached the shore farther up from where Seokmin was. They were setting things down by the river that looked like bags, nets and buckets. There were even a few coolers, but Seokmin didn’t feel the usual fear at seeing one, not with Minghao there. One of Minghao’s friends even seemed to be wearing something Seokmin had seen fisherman wear a couple times, to keep their legs dry in the water. 

A human with dark curly hair seemed to be in charge, pointing in different directions for people to set things down. Seokmin watched him clap his hands together and smile a broad pretty smile before telling them to get started, which was met with cheers. They chattered amongst themselves as they started picking up the trash in and around the river. 

Seokmin didn’t know how long he just sat there watching them and trying not to cry with joy before he saw Jeonghan come out of the trees nearby. Surprise washed over his face, and Seokmin watched how he immediately put up his human disguise in case he was spotted. At first, he seemed to scan the group looking for Seokmin before spotting him still hiding behind the rock. Jeonghan’s lips curled in a soft smile as he picked his way over, settling quickly behind the rock with Seokmin before any of the humans spotted him. A warm arm curled around Seokmin’s shoulders as he sat down in the sand, tugging until the water spirit’s head lolled onto his shoulder. 

“Did your human come back?” Jeonghan asked gently. 

“Yeah” Seokmin couldn’t help but smile. 

“Which one is he?” Jeonghan craned his neck to peek over the rock that was still their cover. Seokmin wanted to pull him away from risking their cover, but also knew Jeonghan wouldn’t let up until he told him. 

“The one in the big hat” Seokmin admitted, peeking over the rock hesitantly himself to watch as Minghao slipped off his shoes and waded into the water. He narrowly avoided being splashed by the friend in the fisherman pants. The steely glare Minghao shot his friend was enough to send a shiver down Seokmin’s spine even from this distance, but it quickly broke apart and Seokmin heard the most adorable giggle. 

“He’s cute” There was definitely a teasing note to Jeonghan’s voice and Seokmin felt heat in his cheeks as he pushed Jeonghan’s arm from his shoulders. 

Sure, he knew objectively that Minghao was really nice to look at. He’d thought so the two previous times he’d seen him. But that didn’t mean...he couldn’t. 

“You should talk to him” Jeonghan asserts with a catlike grin, digging his feet into the sand. 

“What? No!” Seokmin protested a little too loudly, and quickly swiveled around to make sure that no one had heard him. 

“Why not? You’re feeling better, it won’t be hard to appear human for a little while” Jeonghan reached out again to rub his hand between Seokmin’s shoulder blades. 

“He probably thinks I’m weird. I didn’t talk to him at all when we first met” Seokmin frowns, his lower lip pouting outward. 

“Well then, now’s your chance to show him you’re not weird! Besides, don’t you want to say thank you?” Jeonghan questioned, ducking his head a little so he could look Seokmin in the eye. 

“...yeah” Because Seokmin really was grateful. Even if they didn’t clean the river all the way, more progress was being made today than Seokmin had managed in years. He already felt stronger, and less like he was going to fall apart at any moment. 

“Well now’s your chance, looks like they’re taking a break to eat” Jeonghan had stretched his neck out to see over the rock again. 

It was true, the group was now climbing back up onto the bank and flopping into the sand like overexcited children. They continued the cheerful conversations from when they were cleaning, throwing jokes back and forth that Seokmin didn’t quite understand but found himself smiling anyway. They seemed close, it reminded him of some of the families that came down to the river. Seokmin watched as Minghao dug around the cooler for a while before settling himself at the edge of the group. 

“Go” Jeonghan emphasized with a shove to his shoulder, and Seokmin stumbled out from behind the rock. 

His first instinct was to run back to cover and avoid all of this. Instead, he carefully checked to make sure all of his more spirit-like features were hidden away before he picked his way along the riverbank. None of the other humans spotted him as he made his way over, and he only stopped when he was standing a couple feet away from Minghao. 

As Seokmin’s shadow entered Minghao’s line of vision, he tilted his head up and peered at Seokmin from under the dark brim of his hat. The most amazing thing was that he didn’t look surprised, or at least Seokmin thought he didn’t. Minghao merely looked up at Seokmin like he was expecting something. 

“Hi” Seokmin finally got out, feeling his cheeks heat up under Minghao’s intense stare. 

“Hey” Minghao’s lips turned up in the corners. 

“Um, I don’t know if you remember me-”

“I do” Minghao interrupted before Seokmin could finish. 

“Oh, uh, I’m sorry I didn’t say anything before.” Seokmin fidgeted, looking to the side. 

“It’s fine. You helped” Minghao asserted kindly. 

“I’m glad” Seokmin couldn’t help but smile brightly at the thought that he’d actually been able to help Minghao that night. Then he faltered a little remembering why he’d come over here, “Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you, for this? I, uh, have lived in the area for a really long time and I’ve tried to clean up the river before but it’s really hard if it’s just me and it just seemed to get worse? So I’m really grateful for the help and that you came back, so yeah, just thank you.” 

Minghao didn’t seem to be annoyed by his rambling, much to Seokmin’s relief. Instead he just listened calmly with an almost amused smile. 

“You know, I never got your name” Minghao finally said, dusting his hands off after lifting them from the sand. 

Oh damn, Seokmin hadn’t done that had he? All that rambling and he hadn’t even said his name. “I’m Seokmin”

“Well, Seokmin, do you want some lunch? I think that Jun and Joshua packed enough to feed an actual army” Minghao offered with a tiny smile that had Seokmin thinking about sunshine. It wasn’t an offer that Seokmin could refuse, so he just nodded and watched as Minghao rose from the shore. He was still quietly shocked when Minghao very slowly reached out and took hold of his wrist, watching his face to make sure it was something he was ok with. Spoiler alert, Seokmin was definitely okay with it as Minghao gently pulled him over to where the coolers were, asking him a few quiet questions as he selected a pre-cut sandwich and juice for him. Minghao’s friends were looking at the two of them curiously, Seokmin even saw one of them, a blond, start to make his way over but a younger friend grabbed him before he could. 

Minghao led Seokmin a little farther away from the group than where he had first sat down, underneath the shade of one of the trees. The sandwich was delicious, and Seokmin couldn’t help expressing that a couple times. He didn’t have the chance to eat human food much, spirits didn’t need to in order to survive and his interaction with humans was limited at best. Most of the human food he’d consumed in his life had been leftover from gatherings, and even then Seungkwan had watched him with rather judging eyes the few times he’d ventured into it. It was different with a slice of sandwich that was given to him. Minghao at least seemed to find his enthusiasm amusing as he took measured bites of his own sandwich. 

A stray breeze swept by and threatened to steal Minghao’s hat, which ruined his cool image when he scrambled to keep it from flying away. Seokmin spotted a flash of yellow on the underside of Minhao’s arm when his sleeve rolled up. At first, he thought maybe he had been wrong in thinking Minghao was human. Spirits could very easily pass as human, even with each other, it wasn’t as if they had a sixth sense for their kind. Usually it was their distinctly inhuman features that allowed them to recognize one another. Seokmin’s river spirit features were presented in spots of colored scales on parts of his skin, webbing between his fingers and toes, and ears that were shaped more like fins. So, seeing the small splash of color on Minghao’s skin made him think of that. 

Catching the direction of Seokmin’s gaze, Minghao glanced downward and then began carefully scrubbing away the colorful spot. 

“It’s paint, I must not have gotten it all off this afternoon” Minghao explained. He startled when Seokmin was suddenly leaning forward further into his space with bright eager eyes.

“You’re an artist?” Seokmin asked excitedly. Somehow the idea that Minghao was an artist was far more interesting than maybe if he’d somehow been concealing that he was a spirit. He’d seen artists by the water before, mainly before when it had been pretty and not covered in trash. They’d sit for hours just looking at their papers or canvases, and Seokmin was always so curious about what they were doing. So many times he’d wanted to approach them, ask what they were doing and if he could see what they were working on. But he hadn’t been confident approaching humans then, he was barely comfortable approaching humans now. 

“Yes? I mean it’s what I’m going to school for, so I probably can call myself an artist by now?” Minghao thankfully seemed mostly amused by Seokmin’s enthusiasm. 

“You can go to school for that!?” Seokmin had always thought the university was a boring place just filled with books. A second later, he realized that comment might have made him look less human so he quickly corrected, “I mean, of course you can, that’s cool! Is that where you met all your friends then?” 

Minghao still thankfully looked amused, but he shook his head and pointed over to where the group was sitting, pointing them out in turn. “Mingyu, who isn’t here, is the only one also in the visual arts though he’s taking photography. I met Jun, Soonyoung, and Chan through being on the same dance team at the university. Joshua was my resident advisor, and I met Seungcheol through him. Vernon was a friend of Chan’s that he started bringing along to dance practices. Jihoon also isn’t here, but I met him through Mingyu” Minghao’s voice went soft and almost sad at the end, and Seokmin reached out to take his hand before he knew what he was doing. 

“Are they…are you okay with them?” He asked gently, not sure what had happened but definitely remembering the first time they’d met. 

“We’re okay, or we will be. Mingyu and I still live together, which has kind of forced us to work through it. We’re working on being more normal around each other” Minghao’s mouth curled up in a small smile, though it still looked a bit sad to Seokmin. “Anyway, I probably should get those idiots back to work. I promised that dinner would be on me, and if they don’t get moving we’re not going to get finished...you’d be welcome to join us for dinner if you want?” 

It was such a tempting idea, especially the thought of spending more time talking to Minghao, but the thought of leaving the river sent a shudder through him. 

“Ah, no, I actually should probably be going soon. I’ve got...uh…plans with friends. I just wanted to say thanks, and it was really nice to meet you!” Seokmin grinned, eyes turning to crescents. 

“Ok, it was good to meet you too. Maybe we’ll see each other again” Minghao asked, standing up and brushing the dirt off his pants. 

“Yeah! I’d really like that!” Seokmin had so much more he wanted to ask Minghao about the university, and humans in general! He finally knew a human, and wouldn’t have to get all his information second hand from his friends anymore! And Minghao was so cute!

Seokmin waved as Minghao made his way back over to where his friends were. He watched as with a few strict sounding words Minghao got the rest of them on their feet even while they laughed. A few looked his way and Seokmin shied slightly under their gaze, sinking back further behind the tree. 

As the rest of them went back to cleaning up the river, Seokmin took that as the time to retreat carefully. With one last look at Minghao, Seokmin wandered further up the river and away from the group. He found Jeonghan and Wonwoo further away and couldn’t help but gush about his new human friend. 

Because that’s what he’d decided they were now, friends. 

~~~

The next time Minghao came, he was alone again. 

Seokmin was feeling so much more energetic now that the river’s waters were mostly clean. Minghao’s friends had actually gotten most of it, and what little they hadn’t Seokmin had been able to clear out. Mostly it was just things that only Seokmin would know about, like the can that had gotten buried under a rock in the water, or the piece of plastic that had gotten caught in the weeds. 

Wonwoo was doing rounds checking on the trees around the river while Seokmin followed after him excitedly, recounting Minghao and his friends coming down to the river for the hundredth time. At least Wonwoo still hummed in all the right spots, Jeonghan just sighed at him now. Seokmin was on a particularly long rant about how Minghao’s hair had seemed so soft, how it curled just a little under his hat, and wasn’t it so weird that humans have such soft and wispy hair, when out of the corner of his eye he spotted the man himself coming over the hill and down toward the riverside. 

Of course, Seokmin’s immediate reaction was to bolt in Minghao’s direction, but he didn’t actually want to be rude to Wonwoo. Thankfully, his friend actually looked up when Seokmin’s talking trailed off and he glanced in the direction of Minghao before he gestured for Seokmin to go. 

Minghao had what looked like a large notebook under his arm and a bag over his shoulder as he made his way to a grassy spot a few feet away from the water’s edge. He was more dressed up today, in a large blazer and slim fitting pants. What was probably the most interesting was the pair of silver glasses perched on his nose, with long dangling chains on either side that almost sparkled in the sunlight. It was a different look from before, when Seokmin had already thought him pretty, now it was more sophisticated. 

“You look nice!” Seokmin complimented as he flopped down into the grass beside him. He believed in never holding in compliments, especially when it would make people happy. It was always really nice to see how people reacted too. Seungkwan always gave him bright smiles and compliments in return, Jeonghan tried to hide how pleased he was but failed, and Wonwoo always thanked him so genuinely. Minghao blushed , or at the very least his ears were a lovely shade of pink from where Seokmin could see them from where he was sprawled out in the grass. 

“Thanks?” Minghao mumbled, fingers fiddling with the edge of the notebook he’d brought. 

“You’re welcome! I’m glad you decided to come back” Seokmin grinned, pushing himself up a little bit so he could sit properly beside Minghao. 

“It’s nice out here. Quiet. Plus I have a few scenery studies due for one of my classes” Minghao lifted his thin shoulders in a shrug.

“You’re going to draw out here?” Seokmin peered at the large notebook in Minghao’s hands with renewed interest. 

“Did...did you want to see?” Minghao offered hesitantly. 

At Seokmin’s vigorous nodding, he flipped open the sketch book and began flipping through the pages. Seokmin could only watch with a sense of wonder. Sure, he had tried drawing before. He’d even occasionally had the proper tools when someone had managed to leave scraps of paper behind or pens or pencils. But Minghao was really good. In a way that had probably taken many more hours to learn than Seokmin’s attempts. 

“What’s that?” Seokmin was practically leaning over Minghao’s shoulder as he paged through his drawings. 

“That’s the fountain at the center of the university, have you never seen it before?” Minghao asked, turning to look at Seokmin. It brought their faces incredibly close together and Seokmin had to fight to ignore the sudden uptick in his heartbeat. 

“No” Seokmin muttered almost shyly, and chewed on his bottom lip as he debated asking what exactly a fountain was. That probably wasn’t a very human question to ask. 

“It has piping to allow water to shoot out here, and then it falls sort of like a waterfall from here to here. There’s a large pool of water at the bottom here that feeds back into the piping. Or at least that’s how I believe it works. Seungcheol would probably know the specifics if you ever want to ask him” Minghao explained without Seokmin having to ask, his finger trailing over the sketch as he explained the parts. It made Seokmin so happy, he couldn’t help but slide his arm around Minghao’s waist and squeeze him happily in a sort of half hug. Only to withdraw a moment later, right Minghao was a new friend, he wasn’t sure if he was okay with Seokmin being all over him like he was with his friends. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t ask if it was okay…” Seokmin trailed off as Minghao waved his apology away with his long fingers that Seokmin just realized were decorated with small silver rings. 

“It’s fine, if I had an issue with casual touching I wouldn’t be friends with Jun or Soonyoung” Minghao’s ears were somehow more red than before and Seokmin was very quietly finding it adorable. 

Instead of lingering on it, Minghao just kept flipping through the pages of his sketchbook. Seokmin now felt more confident in asking questions, since Minghao hadn’t judged him for not knowing what a fountain was. Every time Seokmin would ask a what or who or where question, Minghao would answer calmly and patiently, and even told some stories about when he had sketched something. Seokmin was just content to listen to Minghao explain things to him. 

After they finished looking through the sketchbook and Minghao mentioned that he probably should get the scenery sketches done, Seokmin thought for sure that he’d ask him to leave so he could concentrate. But rather than asking him to leave, Minghao just flipped to a new page in his sketchbook and snagged a pencil from his bag. It didn’t even lapse into silence, because Minghao started telling him a funny story about how Chan had stumbled into the dance studio that morning wearing half of his clothes backwards. Which of course reminded Seokmin of the time Jeonghan had worn a shirt backwards for ‘stylistic reasons’. 

They shared stories like that, back and forth as Minghao’s pencil sketched out rough lines on the cream colored paper. Until the sun started dipping lower on the horizon and the light began to coat everything golden. Then Minghao had packed up slowly, and promised that he’d be back soon. He’d waved over his shoulder as he made his way back to the university. 

It had been one of the wonderful afternoons that Seokmin could remember having in a long time. 

~~~

Minghao did come back, he came down to the river a lot actually. He wasn’t always alone, his friends tagged along often. It was nice actually, Seokmin really liked them! Jeonghan, Wonwoo and Seungkwan even started coming out to hang out with them too. Probably one of the most fun days had been when Soonyoung had tagged along with Minghao and Seungkwan had shown up shortly after. Hoshi had brought along some music and the three of them had sung along and made up ridiculous dance routines. Even Minghao had looked like he was about to burst into laughter from where he’d been sitting watching them. 

But still, Seokmin’s favorite times were when it was just him and Minghao. 

After Seokmin had expressed so much curiosity, Minghao had started to bring different things along with him. The first had simply been his phone and a pair of headphones that he had carefully placed over Seokmin’s ears. The first beats had made Seokmin jump, and then his excitement could hardly be contained. He hadn’t even known music could exist like that! Human technology had always been a curiosity to him, since even if someone had managed to leave something behind, it didn’t seem to react very well with water. But this was music! He’d sometimes heard loud music from speakers at parties up the river, but it was somehow different when it was so close to his ears and he could hear all the different sounds and voices. Minghao had very patiently explained how to navigate his phone so Seokmin could listen to whatever caught his eye. He’d spent the rest of the afternoon drawing, laughing every now and then when Seokmin shouted that he’d found his new favorite song. 

The second item of technology had been his laptop. While there wasn’t a good wifi connection out by the river, Minghao explained that he’d loaded up a few movies on his laptop. Seokmin had heard of movies, sort of, but that still hadn’t prepared him for being totally enraptured in the story on the small screen of Minghao’s laptop. He was squished up against Minghao’s side, leaning into his shoulder as he watched the people on the screen. It was amazing! Seokmin even teared up at the ending and buried his face in Minghao’s shoulder to try and hide it. But the other had just chuckled softly and gently patted the top of Seokmin’s head. After that Minghao started loading more movies on his laptop and bringing them every now and then. Seokmin particularly liked the musicals. It was like a combination of his two new favorite things! 

Above all else though, Seokmin liked the moments when he and Minghao would just be them. When the two of them laid in the grass and talked for hours. Well, Seokmin did a lot of the talking but Minghao talked too. He also liked the moments when they didn’t talk at all. Sometimes Minghao had a bad day, and he’d just let Seokmin pull him in his arms and hold him for a while. Other times, Minghao would show up as the sun just started to rise, looking so soft and sleep rumpled that Seokmin just wanted to squish him and never let him go. On those mornings sometimes Minghao would fall back asleep laying on Seokmin’s chest, sometimes they talked until the sun was at its brightest, sometimes Seokmin would sing. Minghao really loved it when he sang, or so he’d said probably about a hundred times. With his repertoire expanded, Seokmin could sing until he was hoarse if Minghao wanted it. 

It was strange to try and explain it, but Seokmin just really loved being affectionate with Minghao. At first he’d thought maybe it was a human thing. Humans were so soft and warm! Their hair always looked so soft and like it would be nice to run his fingers through. Not that spirits couldn’t be soft or warm as such, but very often they weren’t. Seokmin himself tended to be a bit more cold blooded, mimicking the river. His hair also always tended to have a sort of wet texture, though he could disguise that slightly with his ability to hide his spirit features. But the more it happened the more Seokmin realized that it was less of a human thing and more of a Minghao thing. 

Seokmin didn’t want to constantly wrap his arms around Minghao’s friends, even though he did so frequently. He didn’t have the urge to gently massage the back of Soonyoung’s neck like he did when Minghao had been leaning over his drawing for too long or when he’d simply done something that Seokmin deemed very cute. There wasn’t the same urge to just lean over and brush their noses together, which always made Minghao go cross eyed for a second and then get so adorably flustered. 

Some nights, Minghao would stay past the sun set and allow Seokmin to wrap his arms around his waist and hug him from behind while Minghao leaned back into his chest. They’d point out constellations that they knew to each other. Minghao was more talkative at night, though his thoughts were often more somber. He’d talk about his home in China, about the family that he’d left behind to study in Korea. He’d talk about how sometimes words still tripped him up and he couldn’t express himself the way he wanted to, especially during high stress moments, like the project evaluation he’d gotten a bad score on. Those were the moments Seokmin cherished, when he could just lean into Minghao and let him talk about everything and murmur soft reassurances. 

It didn’t take him long to figure out that he loved Minghao. 

That brought on a new sense of panic, because there happened to be a very large part of himself that he hadn’t actually told Minghao. Every story he’d ever told him had been carefully curated to not reveal anything about him being a river spirit. But...he should tell him. It wouldn’t be right to continue on like this, especially since he loved and trusted Minghao. 

So he was determined to tell Minghao, he just had to decide the right time and place. 

Only, it turned out he didn’t have to. 

It had been a beautiful day when Seokmin had returned from a walk to the farthest end of the river to find Minghao already sprawled out on his stomach with his sketchbook in front of him. It was a familiar sight and one that Seokmin was particularly fond of, especially with the way Minghao’s feet were up in the air, his chunky shoes clicking together absently as his pencil fluttered over the paper in front of him. Seokmin couldn’t help but laugh when Minghao didn’t glance up even once as Seokmin picked his way along the rocky waterside toward him. Still, he must have had some awareness of where Seokmin was, because Minghao didn’t even startle when Seokmin plopped down in the grass beside him. 

“What are you focusing so hard on drawing?” Seokmin asked, leaning over so he could rest his cheek on the top of Minghao’s head. 

“You” Minghao responded, pushing the drawing out so that Seokmin could see it. 

Suddenly, Seokmin couldn’t find words. It wasn’t the first time that Minghao had drawn him, they had spent so many afternoons out here and Minghao was constantly drawing, it would have been more surprising if Minghao hadn’t drawn him at this point. But it was the additions to the drawing that had Seokmin pausing. Because Minghao hadn’t drawn the carefully disguised human version of himself he presented. Instead his ears were fins, and there were delicate scales along his forehead, cheeks and jawline. 

“You knew!?!” Seokmin pulled back so he could look at Minghao, who even looked a little smug as he pushed himself up from the ground. 

“You’re not very good at hiding it you know. When you lose focus or get excited you forget that you’re supposed to be hiding” Minghao sighed almost fondly, fingers reaching out to rub over Seokmin’s cheekbone where there was a patch of scales, “Also, even if you lived near here. I think it would actually be physically impossible to be at the river as much as you are.”

“You never said anything!” Seokmin’s lower lip jutted in a pout. 

“I wasn’t sure you wanted me to know! I was waiting until you felt ready to tell me” Minghao laughed softly and tapped on Seokmin’s bottom lip once. Here Seokmin thought he was being so good about hiding and Minghao had already figured it out. All that worry for nothing, he’d been so concerned that Minghao would freak out…

“And...you’re okay with me being a river spirit?” Seokmin asked hesitantly, because Minghao did seem rather calm about this. 

“Believe it or not, you’re not the first one I’ve met. At home I knew a couple of spirits that lived in the woods near my house, there was a water spirit there too, though she was a lake spirit” Minghao explained, his hand dropping to slip into Seokmin’s and give his fingers a reassuring squeeze. 

Seokmin didn’t know when this had turned around on him so quickly. He’d been building himself up to tell Minghao and it ended up with him being the one having his world shaken slightly. But Minghao always surprised him like that, with little insights and witty words, with small tender moments when Seokmin least expected them. 

“I really like you” Seokmin admitted quietly, “and I really want to kiss you right now.”

For a moment Minhao’s expression didn’t change, looking just sort of surprised. Then, a smile bloomed on his face, soft and so affectionate looking. Seokmin wanted to find a way to live in that smile.  

“What are you waiting for then? I’d really like it if you kissed me.” Minghao said, his fingers tightening their grip around Seokmin’s. 

They leaned in at the same time, though they both hesitated when they were mere inches away. It was Seokmin who finally closed the gap, just brushing his lips over Minghao’s so carefully. Then he did it again, and again, until Minghao grew impatient and reached up to weave the fingers of his free hand through Seokmin’s hair and pull him closer. Seokmin planted his hand on the ground so he wouldn’t fall into Minghao as their lips melted together. There wasn’t any rush, just a tender exploration of one another, Seokmin getting utterly lost in how soft and warm Minghao’s lips were. 

By the time they parted, both of them were grinning like idiots. Seokmin couldn’t help but run his fingers over Minghao’s face, along his cheekbones, over his lips that had gotten even the slightest bit more pink after kissing. 

“Does this mean I’m your boyfriend?” Seokmin asked in a whisper. He wasn’t entirely sure how human relationships worked, but from all of the movies and shows that he’d watched with Minghao and their friends that seemed like it would probably be the right word for them. 

“Yeah, you’re my boyfriend and I’m your boyfriend” Minghao confirmed, and Seokmin couldn’t help but lean in and press another quick kiss to his lips in happiness. 

“Xu Minghao is my boyfriend!” Seokmin very nearly shouted, scaring a flock of birds that had settled in a nearby tree. Minghao was quick to press a hand over Seokmin’s mouth while he giggled, and giggled even more when Seokmin pursed his lips to press a kiss to his palm. 

~~~

Nothing really changed that much about their relationship. Minghao still spent as much time as possible down at the river with him. Their friends still joined them from time to time, and Minghao had admitted that actually Seokmin was pretty terrible about keeping up his disguise and most of them already knew about him too. It was a little startling, and a blow to his belief in his abilities, but at the very least he was happy he could be himself around people who were his friends. 

Seokmin had this love of acting out his favorite scenes from movies and dramas, it amused Minghao to no end, especially when Seokmin roped in their friends to play certain parts. It was probably what had led to him bringing Seokmin a flyer that advertised auditions for the university theater department. It was open to anyone, which was why Minghao thought that Seokmin should audition. At first Seokmin had been excited, Minghao had shown him a couple stage performances of musicals and plays before, but then he realized it wouldn’t be possible. 

His boyfriend had held him tightly as Seokmin told him the story of his mother, had pressed a soothing hand between his shoulder blades and let Seokmin cry into his neck. Minghao didn’t tease him for being sad about it when it had happened years ago. He just murmured soft reassurances and pressed his lips to Seokmin’s temple. 

Minghao didn’t bring up the audition again and Seokmin thought that was the end of it, Minghao now knew his reasons for staying here. 

Eventually, they decided they should probably hold some kind of gathering to get all their friends together. While most of them had met at some time or another, they had never gotten together all at once. Not to mention, Seokmin still hadn’t met Mingyu or Jihoon, who were still a pretty big part of Minghao’s life. So they set up a weekend day where no one had classes, practice, or work. 

It was a ton of fun getting all thirteen of them together. Joshua had brought his guitar and they spent probably too much time singing at the top of their lungs to all the songs they knew. Seungkwan ended up chasing Soonyoung for almost thirty minutes after the other had played a prank on him. Seungcheol was very seriously listening to Jeonghan talk about various types of fungi that grew in the nearby forest. 

Everything was lovely, and Seokmin couldn’t help but be a little wonderstruck at how much his life had changed in just a short while. Not that long ago, he’d been exhausted, out of options and sure he was coming to the end of his days. Now his days were filled with more life than before, he had friends that were starting to feel like family. They came down and helped him clean the river every week, and he’d even heard that they were working with the university to implement new policies about the environment. Wonwoo had been helping them out. It was such a turn around. He also got Minghao, a sweet and brilliant boyfriend. Minghao made every day bright and fun, if only just because Seokmin was looking forward to the next time he would be able to see him. 

So sitting there looking at his friends, Seokmin couldn’t help but think he was probably the luckiest spirit ever. 

The only slight bump he had to get over was a tall tree of a man who was currently smiling as he talked to Minghao. 

It wasn’t that Mingyu wasn’t a nice guy, he was actually sort of ridiculously nice. He was also a good cook, and really handsome, and took amazing photos that Mingyu had shown him on his phone. But Seokmin still felt awkward around him. He’d even warmed up to Jihoon more quickly. The man was very short and had sort of a cute appearance if not for his sometimes very fierce facial expression. They’d bonded over their shared love of music and Seokmin’s endless curiosity over how it made it onto things like phones. Jihoon mentioned that Minghao said he was a good singer and he was looking to add some voices to his next project if Seokmin ever wanted to stop by his recording studio and give it a try sometime. Seokmin had to clamp down on his own curiosity and eagerness to politely decline, absently wondering why Minghao had told Jihoon about him even though he knew he couldn’t go. 

But he was still so self-conscious around Mingyu. As he sat watching Minghao and Mingyu laugh together, he had the sort of sickening realization that he might be jealous. All he could think about was that he wanted to be the one that Minghao was laughing with, that he didn’t like the way that Mingyu put a fond hand on the bony shoulder that Seokmin laid his head on during movies. 

That realization also came with another that created a sinking feeling in his stomach, there were whole parts of Minghao’s life that he wasn’t involved in. Sure, Minghao told him almost everything, and they spent as much time together as they could, but Mingyu lived with Minghao. They went to the same university. Mingyu was as human as Hao was and knew about all those little human things that Seokmin still had to ask about. There were things that Seokmin couldn’t be part of. That was crushing in a way, to know. 

As if he’d sensed Seokmin’s sudden melancholy, Minghao suddenly appeared next to him and bumped their shoulders together. Seokmin had been so caught up in his own head that he hadn’t even noticed when Minghao and Mingyu had finished their conversation. 

“Why are you suddenly in a bad mood?” Minghao asked quietly, concerned. 

“I was just thinking” Seokmin admitted just as quietly. 

“What were you thinking about?” Minghao reached an arm around Seokmin’s waist, pulling him in a little closer. 

“Do..Do you think you’d be better off with someone like Mingyu?” Seokmin asked quickly, almost regretting the words as soon as they left his lips, but Minghao just seemed to consider them thoughtfully. 

“One, Mingyu and I already broke up, you were there for that. Two, I like you. That’s really all that matters to me. You make me happy Seokmin, there’s nothing better than that” Minghao hummed warmly, leaning over to press a kiss along Seokmin’s cheekbone. It immediately made a lot of the ugly feelings in Seokmin’s chest settle.

“You make me happy too” He murmured almost shyly, turning his head so he could catch Minghao’s lips in a quick kiss. 

“Good. So now you’ll at least try to make friends with Mingyu?He is still one of my best friends” Minghao teased gently, pinching at Seokmin’s side and making him jump. 

“Fine” Seokmin sighed dramatically. 

It was a little easier to talk to Mingyu after that conversation. It actually got even easier whenever Jihoon was around because it was hard to be jealous when Mingyu was just making starry eyes at his own boyfriend and not at Minghao. He was nice, and excitable, and while Seokmin still felt slightly more defensive around him than the others, he knew that they would get along anyway. 

The party ended with Chan producing a packet of sparklers and all of them running around like crazy with sparks glowing in the night. The night really ended with Seokmin and Minghao laid out in the grass after their friends had all gone home, lips red and raw from kissing. They fell asleep like that, and Minghao complained about waking up in the wet dewy grass in the morning but he still smiled and kissed Seokmin goodbye before heading back to his dorm. 

~~~

After that night, it was like everything fell into place. 

Their friends were friends, everyone got along and Minghao and Seokmin were happy. 

The university semester was getting close to the end of term and everyone but the spirits was a little more stressed, but that just meant he saw Minghao a little less and when he did see him he sometimes just needed to cuddle him and tell him he was doing perfectly fine for a while. With all the things that Minghao had to worry about with school, Seokmin could take on worrying about Minghao for a while. 

It meant developing strategies to figure out what exactly Minghao needed on a given day. There were days where Minghao needed to be distracted because thinking about all the things he needed to complete was seconds away from making him self combust. But there were days too where he was stuck and needed someone else to talk him through it, and Seokmin did that to the best of his ability. Sometimes he was really limited in the advice he could give just simply because he didn’t really know what Minghao was working on, all of his paintings were back at the art studio at the school and Seokmin wasn’t there for that part of the process. He was also limited because he couldn’t be there in the moments when Minghao was the most stressed, like when he locked himself in the studio for hours on end. Mingyu had told him he had to go and drag him out sometimes to make sure he ate. It felt like poking at an old bruise for both of them whenever Minghao would bring up how he wished Seokmin had been there for something. 

The problem with ignoring something, that thinking something was alright and never really talking about it, was that sometimes it wasn’t alright. Sometimes it built up in small conversations and they both weren’t reading the signs well enough. But there’s a power to willful thinking, in wanting everything to be right and perfect so badly that you don’t even want to recognize the signs. Those small things could build up to be something big if they weren’t addressed. 

Arguably the biggest cause for Minghao’s stress, and something that made him so excited he would ramble for minutes on end, was the end of the year art showcase. It was an exhibition of student works where each student would prepare a number of works to be displayed in the on campus gallery. There were going to be a lot of important people invited from what Seokmin had gathered. 

Minghao lit up when he talked about the exhibition, about how many pieces he had to prepare for it, about the selection process and how one of his professors had selected him personally to participate. His eyes practically glowed when he said that he’d been given one of the best spots in the whole gallery and he already had ideas of how he was going to fill it up, how there was one huge wall that he was thinking about doing a large statement piece on. He looked so beautiful, bright and happy, that Seokmin almost hated to ruin it. 

“That sounds so amazing Haohao, I’m so ridiculously proud of you” Seokmin leaned, to rest his head on Minghaos, sighing softly, “I really wish I could see it.”

“Why can’t you?” Minghao asked softly, pulling away from Seokmin. The light in his eyes had gone cold, and there was a pinch to the corner of his lips. 

“Minghao...you know I can’t leave the river” Seokmin murmured softly. 

“Can’t or won’t? Jeonghan told me there was a way” Minghao asked tightly. Seokmin glanced down and Minghao’s hands were curling tightly into fists in his lap. 

“It’s my job to protect the river” Seokmin protested. 

“The river can probably go without a guardian for one night, Seokmin” Minghao pulled a little further away, shoulders hunching. 

“You don’t know that! The river only just got back to being healthy!” Seokmin frowned, what was so hard to understand about that?

“But it is healthy now, and my friends and I are helping with that” Minghao’s words grew more accented the more angry he got. 

“So you’re trying to say I owe you now?” Seokmin was trying to keep his voice level, but it was hard. 

“No! That’s not what I’m saying! I’m just saying it would be nice if maybe my boyfriend wanted to support me sometimes too” Minghao lashed out with his words sharp, scrabbling up to his knees. 

 “I’m a water spirit Minghao! We hardly ever leave our rivers. You knew that! I told you about my mom! My whole life is this river” Seokmin shot back, standing up. 

“Well did you think that maybe someday I’d like to have you be part of my life too? My life is up there Seokmin, with my art, with my school” Minghao pointed backwards to the illuminated University behind him. 

“Well you shouldn’t have been expecting that! I told you I can’t leave, you’re dating a water spirit, Minghao, that’s just what that means!” Seokmin tried to reach out to pull Minghao closer but the other yanked his limbs out of reach. 

“Well maybe I shouldn’t be” Minghao hissed harshly, tucking his arms around himself. His eyes looked wet, and past all the anger that made something in Seokmin’s chest ache. 

“Maybe you shouldn’t be what?” Seokmin asked, voice softened with hesitation. 

“Maybe I shouldn’t be dating a water spirit” Minghao’s voice was rough with emotion, but he lifted his chin enough to meet Seokmin’s eyes. 

“Minghao..” Seokmin tried to reach out again, but Minghao turned away. Seokmin could only watch with an aching chest as Minghao stomped his way up the hillside, arms still clutched around himself. The ache grew more pronounced when he saw Minghao lift one of his arms to swipe it across his face. 

Seokmin hadn’t even realized he was crying until he felt the wet droplets hit his collarbone. All at once the tension eased out of him and he gave into the wracking sobs. He could hardly catch his breath and the noises he was making seemed absurdly loud in the quiet night but he couldn’t bring himself to care. 

~~~

Minghao didn’t come back, and neither did anyone else. 

Word seemed to have gotten out about their argument, and it looked like no one was taking his side. Not even his friends had showed up to comfort him. Jeonghan wasn’t here to softly run his fingers through Seokmin’s hair, Wonwoo wasn’t offering his generous ear, Seungkwan wasn’t giving well meaning advice. It felt like they had abandoned him. All that time they had spent at his side and suddenly they were taking the sides of  their new human friends over him. 

Seokmin buried his fingers in the silt just beneath the water, feeling the gritty sand scrape against his skin. Fresh tears wet his cheeks anew. It had been a week and no one had come down to the riverside.

He was alone. The most alone that he’d ever been. Even when he was dying he’d had his friends. But he wasn’t dying now. Just heartbroken, and a little angry.  Why couldn’t they just understand? All everyone wanted him to do was leave the river. His friends wanted him to leave the river before and now Minghao wanted him to leave it. But, he couldn’t leave the river. He’d promised to protect the river, the river that his mother had given him. He’d never left the river and never intended to. 

Although, it hurt sometimes to know that Minghao had a life entirely without him. To hear the exciting stories from their human friends about all the things they do at the university. To have Minghao bring him the flyer for the theater audition and know that he’d never see it let alone audition for it. To have Hoshi mention a hilarious movie that had just come out, that he said Seokmin would love, but was only available in theaters. Seokmin didn’t even know what a theater looked like, but the idea of a screen taller than the trees was astounding. 

But those were just the things that you had to give up in the name of duty right? In order to honor the memory of his mother he’d have to forgo all of that. Maybe...maybe Minghao was right and they never should have been in a relationship in the first place. He couldn’t give Minghao what he needed, he shouldn’t have been dating a water spirit. At least, not one like Seokmin. 

He sprawled back onto the shore, letting his feet kick at the water in frustration before settling back and just looking up at the sky. Seokmin didn’t know if honor and loyalty was supposed to make you feel so empty inside. Like he was a boat, but someone had come along and cut all his anchors and tethers, and now he was floating out into the open nothingness. 

A figure blocked out the sun above him and cast a long dark shadow. Seokmin had to blink a few times before the sun spots cleared and he could recognize it was Mingyu. 

Great, the absolute last person he wanted to see. 

“Looks like you’re in about as good a shape as he is then” Mingyu commented airily, peering down at Seokmin with his hands on his hips.

At the mention of Minghao, Seokmin sat up quickly. Which of course meant he had to sit there for a second while his head spun. Mingyu took that opportunity to take a seat on the riverside next to him, folding his long limbs to keep far enough away from the water. 

“Is...is Minghao not doing okay?” Seokmin asked hesitantly, watching his own fingers as they dug into the sand rather than at Mingyu beside him. 

“I don’t know,” Mingyu said simply, almost sadly. It made Seokmin look up at him, disbelief furrowing his brow. 

“You don’t know?”  Seokmin asked incredulously. 

“None of us have seen him all week” Mingyu shrugged, but his jaw was clenched like he was trying to conceal his worry, “Minghao doesn’t really express his emotions well.” 

That didn’t sound right. At least not to Seokmin. The night he’d met Minghao he’d been crying. They’d had more late nights where Minghao had vented about his worries and his dreams and Seokmin had just been able to hold him closely. 

“Minghao’s never had issues with his emotions” Seokmin asserted quietly, because he was sure. Minghao had never been shy about his feelings with him. That was proven extra harshly when Seokmin remembered their last argument. 

Mingyu snorted, “With you maybe, but with the rest of us? He’s just sort of shut down. All he does is go from class to the studio, or he locks himself up in his room. I’m not even really sure he’s eating and it’s killing me. You know, I’ve never even seen him cry, not even when we were dating. When we broke up he didn’t even yell at me. I’ve seen him frustrated before, but not really angry. Minghao guards his emotions so carefully, I think Jun and I are probably the only ones besides his family that have gotten even close to Minghao trusting us with his feelings. Of course, that was before you.” 

Seokmin curled his fingers inward, clenching them around a fist full of sand. Was that true? Minghao always did seem to be a lot more open when it was just the two of them together. Whenever their friends were around Minghao was a lot more cool. He’d smile, but he wouldn’t break into hysterical giggles whenever Seokmin did something silly. He wouldn’t hold his arms up and ask to be hugged after a long day. He let himself be vulnerable when it was just the two of them. 

“You know, Minghao doesn’t like to ask for favors. He’s got weird blackmail material on every one of our friends because he’s a sneak, but he’s never actually used it. If there’s a way Xu Minghao can do something himself he’s not going to ask for help. Do you want to know why almost every single one of our friends was so happy to trudge down to the riverside to pick up trash? It wasn’t because they’re incredibly passionate about the environment, though they do care. It’s because Minghao asked them to.” Mingyu turned his gaze to Seokmin. 

“He did?” Seokmin said in a small voice. 

“Yeah, sent out this group wide text asking everyone to meet him down by the river. Pretty sure he threatened Jun with something he had from Christmas last year to get him up that early to help Joshua make lunch. Jihoonie and I weren’t a part of it because of everything that had been going on, but I’m pretty sure in any other instance Minghao would have made us come too”  Mingyu chuckled softly, his fingers fiddling with the band of his watch. 

“They all came because he asked?” Seokmin curled further in on himself. 

“Well yeah, like I said, Minghao hardly asks anything of us. If it’s something we can do for him, we’re going to do it” Mingyu said it like it was the simplest thing, and maybe it was, Seokmin didn’t know. 

“Why are you telling me all of this?” Somehow this knowledge hurt. It hurt knowing that he might have been special to Minghao, made something crack in his chest. 

“Because my best friend is shutting me out, and I don’t know how to fix it” Mingyu sighed beside him. 

“And you think I do?” He scoffed. 

“I don’t know. But I do know he’s like that because you two had an argument. He cares a lot about you, so if anyone had the ability to fix it, it would probably be you” 

Seokmin deflated, shoulders slumping as he stared at the water that flowed over his feet. 

“I care a lot about him too” He whispered it, as if speaking the words aloud would make them hurt that much more. 

“Then why are you doing this to each other?” Mingyu asked, and Seokmin appreciated a little bit the way it wasn’t accusatory. For all that Seokmin’s jealousy and Mingyu’s image as the person who had broken Minghao’s heart had clouded his first impression of Mingyu, he had to admit that he was a good person and a good friend. 

“He just...he doesn’t understand!” Seokmin grumbled, foot kicking the water in frustration. 

“What doesn’t Minghao understand?” 

“He wants me to leave the river, but I can’t . Well, technically I could, for a while. But I swore to protect the river, my mother passed away and left me this river and made me promise to always be with it. I’ve never left the river, not even when my friends wanted me to” Seokmin asserted. 

“I’m guessing he invited you to his showcase?” Mingyu hummed thoughtfully, calmly. 

“Yeah” Seokmin answered, feeling the loss burble in his stomach at the reminder. Minghao had looked so excited when he’d asked. 

“Let me ask you a question, and I don’t want to insult you or anything, but have you ever wanted to leave the river?” 

Seokmin swallowed back the immediate ‘ yes ’ that wanted to burst from his mouth. Before Minghao it had been a temptation, a longing sometimes to know what more there was out there. Particularly after the university was built and he had his incessant curiosity to know what happened there. It had only gotten worse after he had met Minghao and all his friends. He wanted to know what their classes were like and he wanted to know what it felt like to see a play on an actual stage. He wanted to see how Jihoon made music, and how the dance team practiced, and what the dorms that Joshua was in charge of were like. He wanted to see Minghao’s art, placed perfectly on the walls for everyone to admire. 

He wanted it so badly. 

“I have. But I can’t . The river is all I have left of my mother and I promised I’d stay here” 

“Okay, another question and I still don’t want to insult you because I don’t know your relationship with your mom or anything, but did your mom want you to be happy?” Mingyu asked gently, hesitantly reaching out a hand to rest it on Seokmin’s shoulder. 

Seokmin chewed at his bottom lip as he thought. Memories that felt like so long ago of playing by the riverside while his mother watched laughing. She had always encouraged his every curiosity and whim. He could still hear her saying that his smile was beautiful and bright and the best part of her day. When he’d been sad, his mother would cradle him for hours and tell him silly stories until he was laughing again. 

“She did.”

Mingyu seemed to think that over for a second, leaning back a little to look up at the cloudless sky. 

“Then I guess you have to decide, would your mother be more upset that you left the river? Or more upset that you are making yourself unhappy by not leaving?”  For a question that very quickly shook Seokmin’s world, it was posed so calmly. 

It felt like he couldn’t breath suddenly, and fresh tears sprung to Seokmin’s eyes. He was just so confused. The idea that maybe he’d been doing something wrong this whole time was hard to swallow. His brain was a mess of trying to reason with himself, his previous worldview had been such a clear cut path, if he left the river he was going against the final wishes of his mother. But his mother had loved him, she’d always expressed wanting Seokmin to pursue anything that made him happy. So, which was the right answer? Because staying at the river and losing Minghao would make him miserable, but leaving the river would break his promise?

Mingyu’s tall figure rose beside him, and Seokmin barely registered that Mingyu was digging in his pocket for something until suddenly there was a piece of paper in front of his face. 

“Listen, I know you’ve got a lot to think about, but here’s a ticket for Minghao’s showcase. It’s in two days, so hopefully that gives you enough time to figure out what you want to do. Honestly, I don’t know what the right choice is, I’m not you and I never met your Mom. I just know Minghao likes you more than he’s liked anyone, so I figured I’d give it a shot.” 

Seokmin took the ticket gingerly, reading over the printed words on the surface through watery eyes. 

“I’ve got to meet Jihoon for dinner, and he’s probably going to be mad I was out here, but just...think about it, alright?” Mingyu nodded at him like they had an agreement. 

Fingers tightened a little around the ticket as Seokmin watched Mingyu give him a little wave before striding back in the direction of the university. He didn’t know how to feel, suddenly nothing made sense. But as he looked down at the ticket again, he couldn’t stop the wave of hope that felt like bubbles popping in his chest. 

~~~

People were staring at him. 

Seokmin quickly checked his reflection in a nearby window to make sure that he’d properly hidden away all this water spirit features. But all he saw in the reflection was a face that looked perfectly human, with smaller round ears and smooth looking skin. 

“They’re staring because you’re handsome~” Junhui teased from beside him, hands clasped behind his back.  

Once he’d made a decision, it hadn’t been too hard to get to this point. It had meant finding his friends and explaining himself, apologizing for all the times he’d refused to listen to them. Seungkwan had cried of course, and apologized for leaving him alone like that. Jeonghan had even cried a little, had hugged him and told him he was proud of him. Wonwoo hadn’t cried, but he had given him a very gentle and warm hug and let Seokmin cry into his shoulder. He’d also gotten him in contact with Jun. 

You see, as much as Seokmin would have liked to just dramatically waltz onto the university campus and (hopefully) swept Minghao off his feet like the movies he loved, Seokmin had no idea where anything was and had never even really interacted with large groups of humans. A human guide was going to be necessary for this venture, and that came in the form of Wen Junhui. 

Junhui, who was currently bouncing along beside him as they made their way across the campus. He’d always liked Jun, though he didn’t quite understand how quiet and snarky Wonwoo and Jun, who talked a mile a minute and had the strangest sense of humor, became such fast friends. He was a good guide though, and patient with Seokmin as he frequently stopped to marvel at things. 

“Am I?” Seokmin’s brow furrowed as he looked at himself in the reflection again. Sure, he’d had people tell him he was handsome before, but he hadn’t really ever contemplated it. Was he handsome by human standards? Was that a reason to stare? 

“You’re very handsome, and with that outfit you look like you’re straight out of a movie” Jun laughed, reaching over to pinch the sleeve of Seokmin’s jacket. 

Seokmin could feel as his face heated slightly when he glanced down almost self consciously at his outfit. It had actually been the collective of Minghao’s friends that helped him source his outfit for the day. He wasn’t even entirely sure which pieces had come from who, but Jun had been the one to help him to figure out exactly how to wear each piece. It had been kind of embarrassing actually, but he was pretty happy with the end product. He particularly liked the long coat that fell to his ankles and made his shoulders look even broader. It made him feel like a movie protagonist, which was very much helping to boost his courage. The little vial of river water around his neck helped too, allowing him to travel farther away from the water and keeping a little bit of his home beside him. 

Before Seokmin got to reply, Jun had come to a stop in front of a square looking building. There was a folded sign outside that declared it the final art showcase. Seokmin peered through the glass door, feeling like small fish were swimming in his stomach. He needed to go in, he needed to show Minghao that he could be there for him too, that he’d decided that Minghao was his happiness. It didn’t take much more than that to have him squaring his shoulders and reaching for the door handle. Seokmin felt Jun place a comforting hand on his shoulder, and thought he saw him smile out of the corner of his eye. 

“Why don’t you have a look around and see if you can find Minghao’s art? I haven’t been in here yet, so I’m not exactly sure where he’s set up” Jun’s smile said he knew something Seokmin didn’t, but Seokmin could hardly pay attention to that when there was so much going on around them. As Jun moved into the large gallery space further, Seokmin could only nod and start moving too. 

Everything was so fascinating! Seokmin was already reeling a little from so many things about the human world that he had learned in just the short walk over here, but now he was faced with more new things. Like art! It was strange to think, but Seokmin had never realized that art could be so different! Minghao’s drawings and the occasional painting he’d brought with had really been the majority of the art he had been exposed to, so it was utterly fascinating to see all the ways that people could express themselves. Some of the art was beautiful to him, some was confusing, some scared him slightly. Overall, he still thought he preferred the art Minghao had shown him, but he hadn’t found any of it yet. 

Then he turned a corner in the gallery and he saw it. 

It was him.

Along the back wall of that section of the gallery was a huge portrait of himself, done in a myriad of blues and greens. All of his water spirit features were present in a beautiful contrasting orange. He was looking off to the side, his lips curling up in a soft smile and his eyes closed. A moment of peace where it looked like he was soaking up the sun. It had Minghao’s characteristic large brushstrokes, but the portrait was clearly lovingly done, soaking up the attention of the room by being placed in the very center. 

It took a while for Seokmin to finally drag his eyes away from the portrait to see the space around it. When he did, he could feel his heart pounding in his chest and his eyes start to well up. It was the river, Minghao had painted the river. The trees beside it, and the flowers that were starting to bloom, the little fish that swam in the shallow depths. Everything that Seokmin loved and protected, laid out before him in the form of Minghao’s beautiful artwork. 

There was an even longer gap of time before Seokmin actually remembered that while he was here to see Minghao’s art, he was also here to find Minghao. Thankfully, he was rather easy to spot. He was talking to someone, gesticulating with his hands as he was probably explaining something about his artwork. The blazer he was wearing was something that Seokmin was fairly sure a lot of other people wouldn’t be able to wear quite so well. He looked beautiful, wonderful, and Seokmin’s chest ached with how much he had missed him. 

When Minghao finally seemed to notice him, Seokmin made sure to take in every expression that shifted across his face, from surprise, to joy, to something a little more hesitant. Seokmin was still standing in the middle of the room where he’d been stunned by Minghao’s artwork, so Minghao only had to take a few long strides until he was standing in front of Seokmin. 

“You came” Minghao almost sounded breathless.

“I did” Seokmin confirmed ducking his chin in a quick nod. 

“You left the river...for me?” Minghao asked gently, almost like he was afraid of the answer. 

“Yes, and for me too. Someone helped me figure out that I was holding myself back from something I knew would make me happy. My mother always told me she wanted me to do what made me happy” Seokmin explained, feeling more confident in his decision now that he was standing in front of Minghao again. 

“Someone huh? Someone I know?” Minghao grinned. 

“Maybe~” Seokmin couldn’t help but smile too, feeling giddy. But he carefully reached out to slip his hand into Minghao’s, wrapping his fingers around his palm as he pulled him closer. He still had a little more explaining and apologizing to do. 

“ I’m sorry. I know I hurt you, and I wasn’t willing to see your point of view. I can’t promise that this is going to be entirely easy, just being this far away from the water is already kind of scary. But, there are so many things I want to see and do. So many things I want to see and do with you. I can promise that I’m going to try, for both myself and for you” Seokmin wrapped his other hand around Minghao’s, holding the other’s hand between his like a prayer.

“That’s enough, that’s enough for me. Just knowing that you’ll try is enough” Minghao murmured softly, taking a step closer to Seokmin. 

“I missed you” Seokmin blurted out without almost meaning to, but he needed to say it, needed to find relief for the now whole body ache that just screamed how much he missed Xu Minghao.

“I missed you too” Minghao looked so incredibly soft as he said that. It was so hard for Seokmin to believe that anyone could find this beautiful man cold and intimidating when he really was just like this. But maybe it was like Mingyu said and this side of Minghao was really only for those he trusted the most. Seokmin could live with that. 

“I love you” Another statement that was out before Seokmin could stop it. He’d known for so long, felt it so deep in his bones. He loved Minghao, all his beauty and talent, his quirks and habits. An accumulation of all the moments that they had spent together and Seokmin had gotten to learn more about him and still wanted to learn more. A love that was big, and a little scary, but was enough to push Seokmin to do the things he wanted. A love he knew he couldn’t let go of. 

“I love you too” Minghao’s smile was so big and beautiful. Then he was leaning in, and their teeth clashed for a moment they were both grinning so hard. Seokmin felt one of Minghao’s hands cup his jawline and he tilted his head to get a better angle. It was soft and sweet and felt so familiar that it made Seokmin want to cry again. 

A loud whoop startled the two of them so badly that they knocked heads. Seokmin just laughed and brought both of his hands up to frame Minghao’s face, bringing their foreheads back to touch more gently, just breathing in the happy moment. 

A second whoop turned their attention to the side of the room where all their obnoxious friends were. Of course all of them were there, gathered around cocktail tables like they were meant to occupy a group eleven people. It wasn’t even that much of a surprise to see Jeonghan, Wonwoo and Seungkwan there too. Soonyoung had clearly been the noisemaker, from the way the rest of them were snickering around him. The large gathering of people probably wasn’t entirely appropriate for this venue, given that everyone else in the area was glancing at the group warily. 

“Why don’t we get out of here?” Minghao suggested, stepping away and reaching out to take Seokmin’s hand again, slotting their fingers together. 

“Don’t you have art stuff to do?” Seokmin wasn’t entirely sure what went on at an art showcase, but Jun had warned him that Minghao might have to talk to people. 

“I don’t have anything left I need to do today” Minghao shrugged easily, beginning to lead Seokmin toward the exit. He sent a glare in the direction of their friends who were still making teasing expressions from where they were gathered around a few tables. 

Just as Minghao opened the door, he looked back at Seokmin, his expression so beautiful and open that it made Seokmin feel like he was floating. 

“Besides, there are so many things I want to show you” 

Seokmin thought then, that as long as Minghao was the one beside him, he’d be willing to go anywhere.