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Rachel's got a girlfriend.
Something about that feels new, exciting, in a way that her other relationships weren't. It isn't that she doesn't genuinely like guys; she still doesn't fully regret her time with Frank, even if that's very over, and she and Chloe were never official in a way that she and Max are.
Max is her girlfriend.
She gets all smiley every time she thinks about it, resulting in a few weird looks from teachers and a few "subtle" comments about drugs from Victoria. Normally she'd care, working harder on her schoolwork or carefully timed bitchy comments, but she's just...happy.
"Everything alright, dear?" Rose asks.
"Fine," Rachel says, keeping herself from saying Mom for not the first time (and probably not the last).
"You seem...different," Rose tries. The clink of silverware is just loud enough to set Rachel's nerves just a little on edge from where she's purposefully not looking at James. "How did finals go?"
"Fine," Rachel says with a little roll of her eyes. "Like always."
"Rachel," James says, tone warning.
"All As, don't worry," Rachel says, tone saccharine sweet. "Not ruining your image."
James makes a disgruntled noise and doesn't add anything else.
"I'm gonna go hang out with some friends tomorrow," Rachel says, careful to make it a statement, not a question. She's technically an adult, for fuck's sake. The only reason she's here is because Rose insisted she come home for winter break, as if the dorms aren't a twenty minute walk away.
"Chloe?" Rose asks. James' knife scrapes against the ceramic of his plate.
Chloe and Rachel actually haven't spoken since their fight in Rachel's room, almost two months ago. Rachel doesn't feel like giving James the satisfaction.
"Some people in the photography program," she says, and pretends not to notice how Rose visibly relaxes.
"Oh! Well, that's fine."
"Of course it is," Rachel says.
The rest of dinner is silent.
Rachel falls asleep thinking about Max but dreams about Chloe, Rachel's fingers in her hair when they dye it, Chloe holding her hands on stage, the way her mouth tilted up at the corners whenever Rachel said something honest accidentally--like she was trying not to smile and ruin it.
"Fuck," Rachel says when she wakes up to her alarm, a song she'd picked 'cause she loved and is starting to hate. The first hint of the strings and she slams her finger on the off button of her phone, holding it until the thing finally shuts up. It's a really pretty day actually, flakes of snow that'll either melt on impact on end up being a couple feet deep. You never know with Oregon. She takes a few moments, waiting for her phone to turn back on, to look at the snow and enjoy it.
It's very pretty, but she's not looking forward to actually being outside in it.
But Max wants to take pictures, and seemed oddly anxious about the whole thing, so Rachel offered to go for moral support, or whatever. That's something girlfriends do, right? Max had smiled at her when she offered, so clearly it's not bad. Kate's joining them too, apparently, which is cool. Rachel likes Kate. Rachel doesn't plan on being less sappy anyway; Kate said they were cute. Which is true.
So Rachel gets her puffiest winter coat that she knows Max will tease her for, say that's blizzard clothing, but Rachel would rather overheat than be cold again, so she'll take the teasing. A pink-purple-blue scarf Max had given her along with a matching flag, so Max won't tease her too much. Rachel had gotten her a little orange and pink doe pin as--hm. Normally would think of it as paying her back, but Rachel had been so happy seeing something Max would like, and Max had been so happy getting it, that Rachel had wanted to get her something else immediately.
One of those cute, new Polaroid cameras that are more Rachel's style than Max's, a scrapbook that Max would actually appreciate, a mixtape, some crystals, something. Rachel just wants to keep seeing Max smile.
When Rachel had given Max the pin, Max had smiled at her, their faces close, and Rachel had almost leaned in and kissed her. She hadn't, though. It's been more than a month, but they haven't done anything more than hold hands. That doesn't really bother her, because it's nice to know Max doesn't want her for that alone.
But she's just so cute, is the thing, and seeing Max, snowflakes in her hair, ancient camera in her hands, smiling at her with that same smile, Rachel just wants to kiss her.
That is, until she sees Kate walking up with Chloe.
"Um," Rachel says.
"I didn't plan this," Max says first, which Rachel hadn't been wondering, but it's nice to hear. "Uh, Kate just asked if she could bring someone, and I didn't--I mean, I didn't know they were--"
"It's fine, Max, I can handle it," Rachel says, unsure if she's lying or not.
Based on the way Chloe's talking to Kate with that same soft smile Rachel remembers, Rachel wouldn't be surprised if Chloe's saying about the same thing.
Max and Kate both have cameras, Kate's newer than Max's, and take photos of the snowfall, only just now starting to stick to the ground. Rachel's shivering, as she always does when it gets colder than 60 degrees, and is resolutely pretending Chloe isn't nearby.
"Hey," Chloe says, ruining that plan.
"Hey," Rachel says.
"Been awhile," Chloe says, voice a little rough with effort. Effort to do what, Rachel can't tell, which is all the more infuriating.
"Yeah," Rachel says.
More awkward silence. Rachel hears the sound of Max's camera going as fast as the ancient thing will go, glancing over to see what's so interesting but seeing Chloe in the way.
"I'm sorry," Chloe says, and that wasn't what Rachel was expecting.
"For what?" Rachel says, voice more confused than accusatory, which sucks, because she works well when she's accusatory.
"I was, you know. Not great about Max," Chloe says with a shrug. "I didn't--we weren't anything. Not really. You know."
"Yeah," Rachel says, because while Chloe isn't being super clear, she's clearly trying.
"And I'm sorry about that," Chloe ends.
"I'm...sorry, too," Rachel says, shifting against the discomfort of admitting she's done anything wrong. "I should've told you what I wanted earlier."
"Yeah," Chloe says. "Friends?"
"Friends," Rachel says, relieved that Chloe doesn't want this to drag on any earlier than she does.
"Rachel!" Max calls, and Rachel looks over, having half-forgotten they were on a double-date. "Look."
Max comes over and hands her a Polaroid. Rachel looks down and sees herself and Chloe, smiling in a way different than they used to, but not worse, just--different. There's not some hidden tenderness in Chloe's eyes or a sort of longing on Rachel's end. It's just smiling. There's flakes on Chloe's beanie and in Rachel's hair and on the photo itself, actually.
For all the photoshoots she and Max have done, it's one of Rachel's favorites.
"I like it," Rachel says, hoping the words aren't lacking. Based on Max's smile and her glance between Rachel and Chloe, she doesn't mind.
"Great! We can go inside, then," Max says with a contented little sigh. "I just wanted one good photo."
"Great," Rachel says. "I'm freezing."
"It's barely even cold enough for snow," Chloe says, grabbing Kate's hand again and leading the way. Max grabs Rachel's hand and follows the other pair, but a little slower.
"I could die of hypothermia," Rachel says, and Max laughs.
"It really isn't that bad," Max says.
"I could get frostbite," Rachel says. Slightly more realistic, even if she is joking. "Kiss it better?"
It's the same gently teasing comments she's always done, usually expecting a kiss on the cheek, but instead, Max turns, puts one hand on the side of her face, leans in, and kisses her.
Rachel's startled and delighted, taking a second to process before she can respond. It's Max's first kiss, probably, but she's smiling into it, and Rachel is, too.
"Frostbite averted," Rachel jokes, and Max laughs and kisses her again.