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if I could make amends with all my shadows

Summary:

Kageyama glanced at the boy’s— Hinata’s— face and briefly wondered what kind of person he was. Judging by the angelic look on his face, he was probably quiet and thoughtful, maybe gentle like Suga. Probably around his own age. Did he have siblings? A family who loved him?

 

 

He counted out three breaths, then reached for the swirling darkness and light inside and channeled it towards Hinata’s heart.

 

———

When Kageyama Tobio, Prince of Seijou and King of the Underworld, gets banished from the Seijou royal court, he's taken in by Suga, the local witch. But just when he's gotten used to a quiet, human life in Sugawara's Apothecary, he finds himself back in the magical world— Hinata Shouyou of Karasuno Court is dying and only Kageyama can save him.

Notes:

I was looking through my drive for an old document when I found this baby gathering cobwebs, so... here it is *jazz hands* i originally wrote it for a fantasy zine and it’s been sitting there for two years (during which my writing has thankfully improved), but it made me smile and I hope it does the same for you. (o˘◡˘o)

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Kageyama Tobio was not a big fan of change. 

He’d lived with Suga in the tiny hut at the edge of the human village for almost two years now, but it still felt like only yesterday he was banished from the Seijou royal court, alone in the forest with nothing but a leather pack of the few possessions he had. He remembered the panic, the four days spent wandering perilously until a kind man named Sugawara Koushi took one look at him and offered him a home. 

Maybe it was the telltale tattoo of vines around his right wrist, but Suga never asked him any questions about his past. He'd simply taught him how to identify herbs and stir potions, and the rest simply unfurled slowly through months of proximity. 

It was hard getting used to it at first, adapting to an environment where nothing really happened from day to day. Which wasn't to say Sugawara’s Apothecary wasn't busy; villagers came often for two reasons: cures for their ailments and Sugawara Koushi himself. Despite running the small business on his own like a seasoned pro, Suga was only a few years older than Kageyama, and he was young and beautiful. Young men and women alike attempted to invite him to village festivities and the like almost every week, but he always declined gently with a warm smile. Nevertheless, there was always something to be done. 

It wasn't until one day when a close-to-tears Yachi Hitoka brought in her sick cat Mochi and begged them to help that Kageyama used his power. At first he reached immediately for the pestle and Suga murmured comforting phrases under his breath while he examined Mochi, but none of the potions they brewed seemed to help. After a few moments of consideration, Kageyama had taken a deep breath, pressed his palm to Mochi’s heart and blacked out. 

He awoke later to find Suga, Yachi, and Yachi’s revived cat hovering over him. Yachi looked shaken, Mochi looked indifferent, and Suga simply looked bemused. 

“I'm assuming the rumors are true, then?” Suga asked and handed him a hot cup of tea. 

Kageyama took a cautious sip, wincing when his head throbbed in response, and didn't reply. Suga chucked. 

After that, “Sugawara’s Apothecary” turned into something more like “Sugawara’s Hospital”, but in a cautious, hush-hush way to bring in more business but not more whispers. After all, there was no telling how the villagers would react if they knew Suga’s young apprentice was actually the former prince of one of the mystical courts they only half-believed in, and had the ability to manipulate life forces at will. Therefore Kageyama remained just that— Suga’s grumpy, genius apprentice, who attracted the attention of a few girls who (wrongly) hoped he'd be more attainable than Suga. The only person in the village who knew otherwise was Yachi, and she visited often (with Mochi) to drop off Suga’s orders from Ukai and Takeda Books. She'd then stay for tea and many afternoons passed peacefully like this, Suga humming away as he brewed potions, Yachi reading aloud, and Kageyama listening while he practiced his powers with a few dead plants. Suga, as it turned out, also had magic in his bloodline, although he was content to let the villagers think he was an ordinary apothecary and not actually a witch. 

Despite the fact that he had been miserable there, part of Kageyama missed Seijou. He missed not having to hide his powers and the glowing greenhouse and the monthly sporting tournaments. But it didn't matter if he missed being part of a magical community or not. Life with Suga and Yachi (and Mochi) was good, and he was already getting used to normalcy.

Until one day two Karasuno courtiers arrived at the door, throwing everything off balance.  

They were dressed in inky black traveling cloaks that seemed like they were made of feathers, fabric rippling as they pushed back their hoods. One was tall and blond with spectacles resting on sharp cheekbones, the other medium height with olive hair and soft features. The Karasuno royal insignia gleamed on both their swords. 

Not that Kageyama had to see the insignia to know. Seijou and Karasuno were enemies, and years of trained resentment was buried in his bones. His hand went automatically to his hip the second the bell above the door rang, forgetting there was no longer a blade there. 

Suga materialized behind him, a hand set reassuringly but firmly on his shoulder. “You're not in Seijou anymore,” he murmured. “It's okay.” 

“Hello, gentlemen,” Suga said in the charming, gentle voice he used for tax collectors. “What can I do for you today?”

“Good day, Sugawara-san,” said the olive-haired boy, bowing respectfully. “We’re here on behalf of the Karasuno royal—” 

“Sugawara-san,” the tall blond one interrupted. “We’re here for him .” 

All eyes went to Kageyama. 

“Oh?” Suga articulated, deliberately nonchalant. “My apprentice? What for? If you need a witch, I can come with you.” 

“The problem is that we need more than a witch,” Olive-hair began. 

“It has to be him,” Blond-glasses continued. “Unless the King of the Underworld has better things to do than help.”

Kageyama flinched angrily. “Don't call me that.” 

“Believe me, King,” he replied scathingly. “The last thing I want to be doing is bringing a Seijou prince into my home, but we all have to make sacrifices.” 

“Well, he's not a Seijou prince anymore anyway,” Suga interrupts, stepping in front of Kageyama before he can take a swing. “Now, please explain what's actually going on.” 

“See, now that's what we should've started with,” Olive-hair muttered, sighing tiredly. “Sugawara-san and Kageyama-kun, I'm Yamaguchi Tadashi and this is Tsukishima Kei. We're here because one of our own was hunting in the grounds we share with Seijou when a Seijou guard accidentally—”

“Debatable,” Tsukishima muttered darkly. 

—accidentally speared him in the chest. More details can come later, but the point is that he’s close to death and we need your help now .” 

Seijou . Kageyama’s throat constricted. He knew how the system worked. Part of the Seijou court would undoubtedly be at Karasuno right now, reworking peace terms. Seeing them would be inevitable. But… they’d said someone was dying… 

He reached for his own ratty cloak hanging near the door, suddenly wishing it was royal turquoise, any color instead of muddy brown. “I'll come,” he muttered. “But no promises I'll be able to save him.” 

Yamaguchi sighed in relief. “Thank goodness. We appreciate it, Kageyama-kun.” Tsukishima said nothing. 

Kageyama made to follow them out when Suga suddenly stopped him with an arm barring his path. 

“Not so fast. I'm coming too.”

Tsukishima whipped around at the same time Yamaguchi squeaked, “Sugawara-san?” 

“Why not? I haven't been to any of the mystical villages in a while, and Hitoka-chan won't mind watching the shop for a few days, that darling.” Suga grabbed a tiny knapsack and proceeded to deftly sweep in three journals, five pre-made potions, two flasks, an actual cauldron, and an entire bouquet of lemongrass.

They all gaped at him (some in less pronounced ways than others) as he breezed past them. 

“Because while you have kind eyes—” Suga tapped Yamaguchi on the nose, “—and you seem to know what you're doing—” a pat on Tsukishima’s shoulder, “—don't think for a single moment that I trust you with my protégée.” 

He ruffled Kageyama’s hair, then smiled serenely, as if he wasn't completely terrifying. 

“Now, shall we?”

 

—————

 

It didn't take long for Tsukishima to open a portal, and as they stepped through it, the slightly nauseous sensation that came with portalling hit Kageyama like a familiar wound. Not familiar enough, however, because he stumbled around like a newborn fawn for a beat before he regained his bearings. 

“You okay there, King?” Tsukishima mocked, walking perfectly normally.

“Shut… the hell… up,” Kageyama panted viciously. 

“Wow, now isn't this lovely,” interrupted Suga, looking out at Karasuno’s village. 

Kageyama finally lifted his head and had to admit that yes, Karasuno’s village was actually quite something. Seijou’s village had been beautiful, but there was always something cold about it all. The glass roofs, perhaps. Meanwhile, Karasuno was the exact opposite. The city was all warm colors and comforting tones, a sense of life thick in the air. As they walked through, many of them bowed to Tsukishima and Yamaguchi. Back in Seijou they had bowed to Kageyama, but never had a little girl tucked a flower in his hair like she was currently doing for Yamaguchi. 

And… the castle. 

The Karasuno palace was made of autumn leaves, or so it seemed. The building itself was stone, but colored glass flora covered every inch, enshrouding it in a reflective paradise. 

Kageyama had been so preoccupied with staring that he didn't notice everyone was already several paces ahead with the exception of Tsukishima, who was prodding him roughly in the back. “Hurry up, King. Someone’s dying while you're taking your sweet time.”

Kageyama glared, the spell broken, and the four of them strode into Karasuno Palace. 

 

—————

 

Kageyama had expected them to be brought to the infirmary, but instead, Yamaguchi and Tsukishima escorted them down a hallway of guards at both sides. Before he could entirely comprehend what was going on, Kageyama found himself shoved into the throne room.

Two things happened at once: Suga gasped, and Kageyama found himself hit with an aura so strong he stumbled back a step. A boy with a halo of orange hair lay peacefully on the stone altar in front of the throne, enshrouded in golden light. Delicate eyelashes fluttered once in a while, but otherwise he was completely still, neither dead or alive.

“He's in the in-between right now,” a voice said, and the King of Karasuno walked out of the shadows. 

“Your majesty, Kageyama Tobio, exiled Prince of Seijou and alleged King of the Underworld,” Tsukishima intoned, bowing shallowly. Kageyama’s jaw clenched. 

The actual king chuckled. “Now, now, Tsukishima. Be nice. We need him more than he needs us. Please, call me—”

“—Daichi,” Suga said. 

Daichi suddenly seemed to realize there was a second guest and turned pale when he saw him. His mouth opened and closed a few times before words formed. “K-Koushi? Is it really you? What—” 

“— your majesty ,” Yamaguchi interjected sheepishly. “Apologies, but Hinata .” 

Daichi shook his head, wiping the surprise off his face. “No, of course. Kageyama-kun, this boy is Hinata Shouyou. If possible, we’d like you to restore his health. This magic… this type of magic is beyond the capabilities of anyone in Karasuno. Anyone in any of the magic realms, actually.” 

Kageyama approached the altar cautiously. “I wouldn't say no one,” he muttered. “Oikawa Tooru could probably do it.”

“I can't, surprisingly. And that's King Oikawa to you, Tobio-chan.” 

Kageyama felt ice in the pit of his stomach and whirled around to see the throne room doors opening and admitting Oikawa Tooru, king of Seijou and Iwaizumi Hajime, his second in command. His heart started pounding, panic in his veins. He'd guessed— known they would be here, but it still felt like a nightmare. The last time he'd seen them, one was stripping him of his crown and home and the other was doing nothing to stop it. 

“Oikawa-sama,” Daichi said levelly. “I thought we agreed I'd send for you after Hinata healed.” 

Oikawa flicked his wrist. “Sawamura-sama, you can't expect me to follow orders that don't make sense. I wanted to see Tobio-chan work his party tricks. After all, it's been awhile.” 

“You're the one who cast him out of his own home,” Suga said, dangerously quiet. 

Oikawa waggled his eyebrows. “Sugawara Koushi. Fancy seeing you here too. Now this is a party.”

It's not a party ,” Daichi thundered. “Someone is dying, Oikawa. And you are the reason behind it.” 

“That's why I'm here, aren't I?” Oikawa snapped. “I assume complete responsibility for Kindaichi’s mistake. Kid feels terrible, by the way. I haven't left Seijou in a good decade, Daichi. I could've just sent Iwa-chan, but I didn't.”

Kageyama thought he heard Iwaizumi mutter something like “you tried to”, but he wasn't sure.

“Kageyama.” Daichi faced him. “Would you like Oikawa-sama to leave? It can be arranged.”

Oikawa huffed, and Kageyama took a deep breath and lightly placed his palms on the boy’s chest. “No, it's fine.” 

Kageyama glanced at the boy’s— Hinata’s— face and briefly wondered what kind of person he was. Judging by the angelic look on his face, he was probably quiet and thoughtful, maybe gentle like Suga. Probably around his own age. Did he have siblings? A family who loved him? 

He counted out three breaths, then reached for the swirling darkness and light inside and channeled it towards Hinata’s heart. 

Immediately he saw a flash of bright light and then overwhelming darkness and snippets of memories, a boy crying on a doorstep with a little girl clinging to his leg, vicious burns and screams of agony, hands bleeding from practicing archery too long. Doe eyes, and then a spear severing him in half—

Hinata was screaming. 

Kageyama’s eyes snapped open. Hinata was clutching his arm, eyes closed, screaming like the world was ending. Daichi and the others were watching a safe distance away with the exception of Suga, who ran forward to help. Blood had begun to soak through Hinata’s shirt, a red flower that grew much too quickly. 

“Well, he's definitely alive,” Suga noted, “but his injury is still bad. I can take it from here.” 

“What— what's going on?” Hinata asked, voice quivering, eyes still shut. “Everything hurts so, so much.” 

“You're going to be fine,” Suga soothed. “Hi Hinata, I'm Suga. Can you look at me?” 

Hinata’s eyes cracked open, warm hazel irises adjusting to the light after being closed for so long. Instead of looking at Suga, however, his eyes caught on Oikawa and his royal turquoise mantle. 

Seijou? ” Panic shone in Hinata’s eyes. “Where am I? What's going on?” Then he noticed Kageyama standing right next to him, the brand of black vines on his wrist. “And… the King of the Underworld?” 

Kageyama braced himself for the reaction that always followed the revelation. 

“What have you done to me?” He shrieked, thrashing out of Suga’s grip. “What have you— you're a monster! Ahhhhh , it hurts! Someone help, please! ” And the screaming resumed. 

Kageyama closed his eyes, willing away the exhaustion and the hurt. The same thing happened every time. Why had he thought this time would be different? 

A warm hand rested on his shoulder to steer him out of the throne room. “Thank you, Kageyama-kun,” Daichi said. “We are deeply indebted to you. Hinata is not himself right now, you must know.”

Kageyama opened his mouth to reply and passed out instead. 

 

—————

 

Kageyama awoke in the infirmary feeling like death reincarnated. Suga sat near his bed, reading. When he saw Kageyama was awake, he smiled and handed him a potion.

Kageyama uncorked it and sniffed cautiously. “Smells like butter,” he croaked. “What is it?”

“Too much to explain. But believe me, you need it. How are you feeling?” 

Kageyama shuddered and drank the potion. Tasted like butter too, actually. 

“Hinata’s better, by the way. Still in the infirmary, but he's healing, thanks to you,” Suga remarked. 

“I don't care,” Kageyama muttered. “I don't know him.” 

“You saved his life. I think that means you know him already.” Suga glanced at the door and got up from his seat. “Oh, and Daichi wants to see you.” 

“What's up with you and the king?” Kageyama called. Suga pretended not to hear him.

With a wave, Suga disappeared out the door. A few moments later, Daichi walked in. He looked haggard, like he'd aged a decade over the past few… however long Kageyama was out. 

“How long have I been in here?” he blurted out, completely forgetting all propriety. 

Daichi chuckled. “Five days, give or take. How are you doing?” 

“Not wonderful,” he grumbled. Partially out of obligation and partially because he actually was curious, he asked reluctantly, “How’s Hinata? Suga said he was fine, but…”

“He is fine,” Daichi assured. “He's actually in better condition than you are. Been wheeling himself around the ward and causing havoc for everyone involved.” 

Havoc? Kageyama thought. “Oh. That's good.” After a pause, he started, “Daichi-sama, when I was healing Hinata, the things I saw…” 

Daichi sighed. “Hinata… Hinata is technically not supposed to be alive.” 

“No, I know that, you brought him back, but—” 

Daichi held up a hand. “No. I meant he should've died years ago.” 

Kageyama froze. 

“We found Hinata in the woods as a baby. No child could survive a night in the woods, not with all the beasts around. They either eat you or turn you.  And indeed, when we came upon him, he was already half claimed by black magic. Another night and he would've become a beast himself.

“At that point it should've been too late. But despite the black magic, he still giggled and laughed when one of our hunters, Tanaka-kun, picked him up. We had two choices— leave him there, or bind him to Karasuno and use that magic to save him.”

“Bind him to Karasuno?” Kageyama asked, confused. 

“Hinata can never, ever leave Karasuno. The moment he steps foot outside of our territory, he burns.” 

The burns. “Then… why would he take the risk and be a hunter?” 

Daichi sighed. “Hinata doesn't like to be caged. He knows he can't leave, but he can't help but want to. For him, hunting is the best escape, especially as he's half-forest nymph.” 

They were both silent for a while, and then Kageyama said quietly, “Thank you for telling me.” He hesitated. “...Can I ask another question?” 

Daichi inclined his head. “Of course.” 

“How do you know Suga?” 

A barely perceptible blush bloomed on Daichi’s cheeks. “Suga was… my childhood friend. His father served all the courts, and so Koushi always went along with him. I’d guess that's why he knows Oikawa as well.” He chuckled. “The last time I saw him, we were both twelve. Neither of us imagined I'd become king.” 

“How did you become king?”

Daichi patted his head. “That's a story for another day. You should rest.” Then he placed his hand over Kageyama’s and the latter sank immediately into a deep sleep. 

 

—————

 

A few days later, Kageyama sat in the Karasuno greenhouse, making simple potions while talking to Yachi through enchanted glass. Suga wanted to stay a little while longer, and so far Kageyama hadn't minded. 

“How’s the shop?” Kageyama asked gruffly, his way of asking “how are you”. 

Yachi beamed. “The shop is good! Lots of business. I'd feared everyone would stop coming since you and Suga-san were gone, but surprisingly it's been fine. Mochi and I are good too!” 

Kageyama allowed himself a small smile. Before he could ask to actually see Mochi, however, there was a loud clang at the entrance of the greenhouse. 

Hinata, in a wheelchair, steered himself out from behind a shattered pot, looking sheepish. “Hello.” 

“Hello,” Kageyama said. 

And then from the enchanted glass, Yachi’s voice, whispering frantically, “is that Hinata?”

Kageyama waved his hand over the glass, immediately severing the connection, and cleared his throat. “How are you feeling?”

Hinata shrugged. “Okay.” He grinned. “I've been through worse.”

Kageyama looked at the floor. “I know. I saw.” 

Hinata blushed. “Sorry you had to go through that. But anyway… they said you saved my life. Thank you, Kageyama-kun. And I'm very sorry for screaming and calling you mean things! I don't remember exactly what I said, to be honest, but Suga-san said they were pretty bad. And I'm sorry for assuming you were evil just because you’re from Seijou. Which you technically aren't now, anyway. Suga-san told me everything! So, yeah. Sorry.” 

“It's fine.” Realizing he'd been grinding the same three mint leaves for the past ten minutes, Kageyama started rummaging for the vial of alcohol. 

Hinata approached him tentatively. “Whatcha doing?” 

“Mixing a hand salve.” 

“What for?” 

“The villagers ask for that one the most. Hard labor, and stuff.” 

“Ah. Can't you just do it with magic?” 

Kageyama glared at him. “That's not how my magic works.” 

“Oh,” Hinata replied, chastened. 

Feeling a little bad, Kageyama added, “I can bring dead plants and stuff back to life, though. Which helps the process.”

Hinata’s eyes sparkled. “Woah! So cool!” 

Kageyama’s cheeks heated. What was up with this guy? It was just magic. Everyone had it. Unless he didn't…

“I can't do magic,” Hinata announced plaintively, as if reading his mind. “It sorta sucks, since everyone else here can, but it's not like I don't have other talents! I have perfect aim, for example. No magic necessary.” 

Kageyama couldn't help it. “Perfect aim? You?” 

Hinata looked thoroughly offended. “You don't believe me? I bet I can shoot better than you, at least.”

“Iwaizumi Hajime taught me how to shoot,” Kageyama stated matter-of-factly. “I doubt it.” 

Hinata stared at him for a second, then wheeled himself around and headed for the door. “You and me. Right now. I'll prove I'm better.”

“You're in a wheelchair, dumbass,” Kageyama called, exasperated. 

“So? You scared you'll lose to an injured guy?”

Kageyama’s mortar and pestle thudded on the table, immediately forgotten. 

 

—————

 

“So, three shots each, sound good?” 

They stood on a grassy hill overlooking the village, the sun high in the sky as they both squinted at a target 200 feet away. It was a beautiful day, but that was the last thing on Kageyama’s mind as he slowly realized the last time he had a target that far away was two years ago. 

But still, how hard could it be? Hinata technically still had a hole through his abdomen. Which made archery a really bad idea . Kageyama cut his eyes at him, ready to call the whole thing off.

Instead, he found Hinata staring at him with terrifying intensity and promptly forgot what he was about to say. “Kageyama. Three shots each. Choose a bow.” 

He wordlessly picked the larger one, checking its balance and feel, then strung the bow and slipped on the leather arm guard Hinata handed him. Despite his uneasiness, the anticipation of competition rushed through him like an electric shock. Kageyama couldn't remember the last time he was this excited.

Hinata got up from the wheelchair shakily, wincing as the movement aggravated his injury. Kageyama had guessed the other boy was smaller, but… Hinata Shouyou was short . Determination burned in his eyes, though, and Kageyama watched, holding binoculars, as he planted his feet, took aim, and let the arrow fly.

Right at the edge of the bullseye. Kageyama blinked.

Hinata looked triumphantly at him. “Your turn.”

Kageyama scowled. So what if Hinata got a bullseye? He'd shot tons of bullseyes in the past. Hardening his resolve, he got into position and tried to rapidly recall everything Iwaizumi had taught him. 

The arrow struck the target with a satisfying smack. He waited for Hinata to confirm what he already knew.

Or not. “Right outside the bullseye,” Hinata remarked. “So close.” 

“Shut up.” Kageyama shouldered the bow again. “I'm taking my second shot now.” 

Hinata started to complain, but the release of the bowstring promptly shut him up. A bullseye this time for sure, Kageyama knew. Hinata peered through the binoculars, and the scowl on his face was worth a thousand words. 

“My turn.” Hinata straightened and nocked an arrow, muttering under his breath. Just before he released the bowstring, however, he let out a pained yelp and the arrow flew towards the sky instead as he collapsed.

Kageyama panicked, sinking next to him. “Dumbass! Are you okay?”

Hinata groaned. “I think my stitches opened.” 

Sure enough, a tiny splotch of dark red started seeping through his black shirt. “Suga, the infirmary, we need to get to the infirmary—” Kageyama looked around. “Where's your wheelchair?” 

Hinata’s eyes widened. “It must've have rolled down the hill. Oh no, oh no, Kageyama-kun, will you go get it?” 

It had taken them fifteen minutes to get up there. Ten minutes down the hill and then fifteen minutes back up… “We don't have time,” Kageyama growled. “Get on my back.”

“...What?”

Kageyama gritted his teeth. “ I said . Get on my back. Do you want to die?” 

Hinata whimpered, then crawled cautiously onto Kageyama’s back. “Couldn't you bring me back again if I did?” 

“I was basically out for a week because of you,” Kageyama panted as he ran them down the hill. “What makes you think I'd do that again?” 

Hinata stayed quiet for a few minutes, then said sullenly, “I sort of want to throw up.”

We don't have time,” Kageyama snarled in reply.

Hinata sniffed. “Rude.”

“Idiot.”

They exchanged insults the rest of the way to the infirmary, Kageyama trying his best to get them down the hill quickly. If he really thought about it, he himself was in no condition for this kind of exertion, but he could feel Hinata’s blood soaking through the back of his shirt and yet the other said nothing. 

Suga was helping out in the infirmary, and when he saw them, he looked completely defeated. “Is Hinata dripping blood?” 

“Yes?” Hinata answered as Kageyama lowered him into the wheelchair a nurse had pushed over. 

Suga eyed their arm guards and sighed. “Archery? Whose idea was this? Wait, never mind, but I expect explanations later. For now, Kageyama, go take a nap. And thank you.” He pushed Hinata into a room. “Didn't I tell you to take it easy?”

“It was worth it,” Hinata insisted, and Kageyama felt something squeeze in his chest. 

 

—————

 

Suga ended up keeping Hinata in the infirmary for another week because, as he put it, “Hinata clearly doesn't have limits.” During that week, Kageyama visited every day. Sometimes he'd bring ingredients, and by the end of the week, Hinata could make (non-magical) hand salve all on his own. It was messy and Kageyama doubted any of the villagers would be willing to use it, but Hinata looked so proud that he couldn't bring himself to tell him otherwise. 

Other times, they just talked. Hinata told him about Karasuno and his friends, and in return, Kageyama described the human village, and then eventually, after Hinata was discharged, Seijou. Hinata listened with rapt attention, always hungry for more. 

One day, sitting under the stars, Kageyama described the human lunar new year festival, saying, “All the lanterns— No magic at all, and yet they're the most beautiful thing in the world. You have to see them someday, Hinata.” 

Hinata was quiet. 

Kageyama felt a lump in his throat. “Oh, that was stupid of me, I'm sorry—”

“Don't be,” he burst out. Kageyama stared, and Hinata shook his head stubbornly. “ Don't be . I'm lucky to be alive, I'm lucky to be here, I'm lucky to have Daichi-sama and Suga-san and Noya-senpai and Tanaka-senpai and Yamaguchi and even Tsukishima and it's just—” 

Hinata closed his eyes, tears rolling down his cheeks. “I never knew how much I was missing until I met you. That's all. So don't be sorry,” he added viciously, as an afterthought. 

“I'm not,” Kageyama said, and carefully reached out a hand to wipe away Hinata’s tears. 

They stayed like that for what seemed like forever, saying nothing. And when the stars disappeared under the pretense of a new day, the emotional wall Kageyama had built to protect himself disappeared along with them. 

 

—————

 

“I'm staying,” Kageyama answered when Suga told him it was time to leave a few days later. 

Suga stopped his packing and looked him in the eye. “You're sure.” 

He straightened. “Yes. Or at least until I find a cure for Hinata.” 

Suga sighed and continued stuffing things in his knapsack. “I have no objections to that, but you have to know, hundreds have tried and failed. Once someone is bound to the land, it's usually forever. I don't want either of you to be disappointed if nothing changes.” 

Kageyama took a deep breath. “Suga, you gave me a home when I had none. You fought for me when no one else did. Hinata needs someone who will fight for him. And I… I need him.”

“Hitoka will miss you,” Suga said and smiled, his eyes moist. 

“Yachi will understand. And approve, I think.” 

“I think so too.” Suga walked over and hugged Kageyama tightly. “Don't forget us.”

“Never,” he answered. He cried silently into Suga’s shoulder, and Suga simply patted his back and let him. 

 

—————

 

After Suga left at noon, later than planned because he'd spent a few hours talking to Daichi, Kageyama climbed up the hill overlooking Karasuno. Just as he’d expected, Hinata was sitting in the grass ready to shoot, but his bow lay abandoned to the side while he stared off into the distance. In the sun, his hair looked like it was on fire.

Upon hearing footsteps, Hinata startled. “Kageyama! You're… you're here.”

Kageyama shrugged. 

“Suga-san’s left.” 

Kageyama made a noise of assent.

“You didn't go with him?” 

Kageyama shook his head.

“Why?”

Kageyama gave him a sideways glance. “You.”

“M-Me?” Hinata stammered, face red.

Kageyama sighed. “Yes, you, dumbass. I couldn't very well go back and see the lunar new year festival without feeling like there was something missing, could I? So with my magic and your ideas, we’re going to find a way out of this big mess you're in. And then we’re going to see all the things and places you've dreamed of. Together.” And then he grabbed Hinata’s hand roughly, hoping. 

“Okay,” Hinata said, voice cracking. He squeezed back. 

“Good,” Kageyama said. And as his heartbeat quickened the longer he held Hinata’s hand, Kageyama couldn't help feeling that although Hinata didn't have magic, maybe Hinata was magic. 

Maybe change wasn't so bad after all.