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Becoming Rinne Amagi’s number one fan had never, according to Aira himself, been a part of the plan. Not when he had judged him for so long of being the exact embodiment of an “anti-idol”, the direct opposite of everything an idol should be. With embarrassed shame, he recalled the ways in which he had once upon a time frowned at the mere mention of the name “Rinne Amagi”. He recalled the way in which he had trembled in fury at learning the terrible things Rinne had done to the other men they worked with, Aira’s very own idols whom he gazed up at with admiration. He had once thought to himself that never would he ever forgive the man that was Rinne Amagi, the fact that he was Aira’s best friend’s brother be damned.
Yet… no longer could Aira claim that he held the disdain he had once had for Rinne, not after having seen and heard the types of struggles Rinne had dealt with. It didn’t mean that Rinne had been justified in his actions, no. Much of what he had done was so much in the realm of unforgivable that Aira was in no position to be forgiving him in the place of those he had hurt, but… still. His heart had softened towards the man, even if it had only been a little bit. He understood what it meant to love idols so much you would throw away everything to become one; he understood what it meant to struggle with your everything to succeed in an industry that saw to reward you with nothing for your efforts. He understood, and for that understanding he had seen fit to hold out his hand to the man who had been everything he disliked in an idol for so long.
It only made sense then, that after the chaos that was the struggle of MDM, that the two of them would end up spending more and more time together, whether intentionally or not. After all, with Hiiro and Rinne having reconciled and been through so much together, it was bound to happen that they would spend the following days stuck to each other’s sides. As Hiiro’s roommate and best friend, this clearly led to Aira having his own overexposure to the man, and as he became closer and closer to Rinne… well, becoming attached was inevitable. Learning all the charm points of Rinne was inevitable. Learning how his eyes crinkled when he smiled, how warm his body was when he draped himself over Aira, how smoothly his voice flowed when he talked, how kind he really was underneath all his teasing and bullying––it was all inevitable, really. Aira swore on his life.
Developing a crush on his best friend’s brother, his ex-least favorite idol, on Crazy:B’s leader, on Rinne Amagi was inevitable.
That’s what he told himself to feel better at least. It was really embarrassing mass buying all of your favorite idol’s merch when he just so happens to also be your roommate’s brother… Aira would have rather killed himself than deal with the humiliation of putting all the Rinne merch he now owned up for Hiiro to see. Not that Hiiro would have cared much, but Aira knew that the moment Hiiro knew about his infatuation with his brother… Rinne would be hearing about it. And if Rinne knew about it, then Aira would never hear the end of it.
That was why every poster, every can badge, every towel, cyalume, photocard, and specialized piece of Rinne merch he held in his possession was painstakingly packed away in a box to avoid exposure. Said box was pushed underneath his and Hiiro’s shared bunk bed as far back as it could go, tucked behind several other boxes in order to ensure maximum privacy. Nobody would go digging that far back behind shoeboxes for something.
At least, that’s what he had thought… Life always loved to kick him in the face though, didn’t it?
He was horrified when he came back from the dorm bathroom to find both Hiiro and Rinne sifting through his very much secret box of Rinne merch.
“R-R-Rinne-san!” He clutched at the door frame so hard his fingers turned white. This wasn’t real, right? Right? It was just a nightmare… There was no way… “When did you get here? What are you doing?” His voice had taken on a shrill tone as he attempted to keep himself from falling apart in distress.
Rinne looked up from the photocard in his hands. It had been limited edition, limited quantity convenience store collaboration merch, dictated by the cruel mistress that is rng… Aira remembered the pain of collecting it very vividly. The stress of knowing it was in someone else’s hands was almost as much as the stress of knowing just who exactly was holding it.
A sly grin took over Rinne’s face when he realized who had come into the room, and he leaned back onto his free hand.
“Heyyyy, Girlfriend-kun…” Aira hated that nickname so, so much. He hated how it raised heat up the back of his neck and caused his heart to stutter. “This is some pretty interesting stuff you got here…!”
The singsong tone in Rinne’s voice left Aira wanting to sink into the floor more and more by the second. He was never going to be allowed to forget about this moment, he just knew it…
“Is that so…” He weakly replied. What were you even supposed to say in a situation like this? “Please don’t damage them…”
Rinne laughed. “I ain’t that careless, don’t worry. This is some pretty rare stuff, right? I remember this,” He waved the photocard in the air. “Was a real gamble to get apparently. Only a few thousand of ‘em in stock or something like that, and you had to buy some kind of bread to try and get it, right? You must’ve taken a hell of a risk to get it…! I can respect that.”
Of course Hiiro chose that moment to speak up.
“Oh, is that why you came back with five full bags of melonpan a few months ago?”
Aira was 100% sure he would have been willing to tear off both his ears and eyes and eat them if given the chance, if only it meant he didn’t have to hear or see this blatant callout of his obsession.
“Hiro-kun, shut up.”
When Aira peered back over at Rinne, he had the photocard pressed lightly up against his lips and had his eyebrows raised in reaction to the news.
“Wow, Girlfriend-kun… Did ya put that much effort into all of this merch? If you wanted a piece of me that badly, you should have just said so,” He snickered. “It’s almost as if you got a crush on me or somethin’. Is that what this is, some kind of fanboy crush? Did you wanna kiss me too?”
Aira knew he was probably supposed to play Rinne’s straight man, jumping to deny the allegations. Yet it wasn’t exactly… not true. Aira did have a crush on Rinne. He did have fantasies that involved him kissing Rinne’s lips, wrapped up in the embrace of those muscular arms. He did get flustered when Rinne ruffled his hair, imagining it as coming from someplace other than affectionate teasing for his brother’s best friend.
He should have denied it all for the sake of appearances, denied every single word Rinne had said, yet… Aira couldn’t bring himself to shoot down his feelings so easily.
He stayed quiet, and while the reaction it got out of Rinne was surely less than what he would have gotten should Aira have played along, it was far less superficial.
“... Wait, wait, don’t tell me… Don’t tell me you actually have a crush on me?” Rinne’s tone was flabbergasted, his hand holding the photocard falling limply back in his lap. He kept blinking at Aira, as if trying to process what he had just heard––or rather, not heard. “Are you for real? I was joking, y’know? Shouldn’t you be, like, crushing on my cute little brother over here? Isn’t he way more your league?”
Aira was more than sure his face looked like a ripe tomato at this point. He couldn’t even look Rinne in the eye as he was being interrogated because the humiliation was so strong.
It was too late to take back his non-confession, and he already knew he wasn’t going to be able to avoid the awkwardness of the following days… He and Rinne saw each other constantly due to work and mutual acquaintances, whether they liked it or not, which would be nice if his feelings were to be requited, but they weren’t going to be. Obviously Rinne wasn’t going to like him back, and worst of all, now he was going to think every little thing Aira did around him was because of his stupid crush.
Aira stayed silent, an action that was mirrored by the rest of the room. For once, neither Hiiro nor Rinne were opening their big, fat mouths.
“Hmm…” Rinne shifted his hand backwards so he could lean even further back onto Aira’s bunk. “Well, then, I guess I’ll see ya this Saturday at noon then! Niki’s treat!”
He placed the photocard back in the merch box with surprising gentleness and then proceeded to dump the box into Hiiro’s unsuspecting arms. He shoved himself back up off the mattress and stretched his back until it popped so loudly that Aira could hear it from the entryway. He slumped back down with a sigh and sauntered his way towards the door.
He clapped a hand down on Aira’s shoulder. “I’ll see you then for our date, Girlfriend-kun.”
Aira let out a yelp as he was bumped out of the doorway and stuttered out a desperate and confused, “H-Huh? Wait a second! What do you mean ‘our date’!? Rinne-san, come back here!”
Despite his pleas, Rinne didn’t once look back, simply choosing to wave over his shoulder in acknowledgement of the fact that he was ignoring Aira on purpose. It aggravated Aira to no end, and he aggressively ruffled his hair as he let out a frustrated groan. “Ugh! He’s so annoying! Why is he always like this!”
(Well, not that it ever stopped him from falling heads over heels for the man, so Aira supposed he shouldn’t really be complaining…)
He lifted his head up from where it was pressed despairingly against the wooden door frame and stared at Hiiro, who was in turn staring him down with a complicated expression on his face as well.
“What, Hiro-kun.”
“You… like my brother? For how long?”
Aira sighed. “Yes, Hiro-kun. And I don’t know, it just happened, I guess. Who the heck keeps track of that kind of stuff?”
“Oh.”
The room went quiet once again, and Aira felt his phone buzz in his pocket. It was a Twitter notification, and from Rinne’s personal account no less…
> I never expected to get a girlfriend out of looking for my baby brother’s porn LOL
Aira shut his phone off just as quickly as he had turned it on, pressing his cellphone up against his chest as he tried to calm his beating heart. Did he really just read that right? He did, right? Rinne just called him his girlfriend… legitimately?
He peeked at the notification again.
Oh god, it was real. He was officially dating his crush. How did that happen? That was the last thing he expected to come out of all of this… but, well, it wasn’t a bad thing, right…? He suppressed a giddy smile as everything that had just happened in the past 10 minutes finally processed in his head.
He did it. He was dating Rinne Amagi. It was real. Maybe having your idol find all your merch of him wasn’t such a bad thing after all. Not if it meant finally getting to date the man of your dreams.