Work Text:
Hospital Arc
Wei Wuxian had been waiting at the designated spot for some time now, glancing on his watch every few minutes, as if it would somehow make Zichen appear faster. His restlessness causes even a calm person like Nie Zonghui to slowly lose all patience and so he sits back down on one of the seats to prevent the poor man from getting more agitated. Zichen's plane should land soon anyways.
Song Lan picks up his backpack and heads to the passengers exit. He takes a moment to stretch his legs after many hours sitting, then he takes a deep breath knowing the kind of intensity he’d have to face for the rest of the day. A lot, starting from Wei Wuxian’s nervousness to the guaranteed hostility waiting at the hospital.
Wei Wuxian jumps from a seat as soon as he sees him and Song Lan doesn’t even have to look in his direction to announce himself, being a head taller than everybody else in a crowd makes him very visible.
Wei Wuxian snapped out of his reverie, with which he watched the hand of his watch move around, when Zonghui nudged against his arm. It didn't take long to make out Zichen among the crowd as his figure towers over everyone else.
"Finally," he lets out with a relieved sigh and jumps from his chair, waving with both arms over his head.
Song Lan shakes his head as an oblivious Wei Wuxian waves his arms exceedingly enthusiastically as its usual on him.
"Hey, I saw you at the first wave..." he rolled his eyes as he accommodated his backpack standing a safe distance from Wuxian. At least the Nie guy doesn’t look like someone eager to intrude into other people’s personal spaces.
"You must be Nie Zonghui, I am Song Zichen" he extends out a hand cordially.
Quiet, as it was common with him, Zhonghui had stood aside and watched the short interaction between the two men. Only when Song Lan addressed him did he react with a short smile and bowed respectfully while returning the handshake. "Yes, it is a pleasure to meet you in person, Song-xiong."
"Likewise" Song Lan returned the short smile before turning back to Wei Wuxian. "We should get going, there’s no point in delaying the inevitable" he took the initiative walking to the airport’s exit followed by the other two men.
They made a quick stop at Song Lan’s booked hotel where he quickly checked in and left his belongings before the group headed to the hospital.
Jin Guangyao is waiting at the front of the hospital, leaning against the wall and holding a disposable cup of coffee when he sees Wuxian's familiar car turn into the carpark. He drains his drink and sends off a quick message to notify A-Cheng that they were back.
He drops the empty cup into the bin before pushing himself off the wall and turns to wait on the newest guests with a blank face.
Song Lan side eye Wei Wuxian, he places a hand on his shoulder "it’s alright A-Xian... he thinks he’s the meanest bully I’ve had to endure, but he’s not - don’t worry" he meets the smaller man’s eyes for a moment to exchange a reassuring look, before taking a step forward calmly stepping inside the hospital hall.
"A-Xian" Jin Guangyao calls as he follows behind "you can go ahead if you want. Yanli-jie was here earlier with food, I left it with A-Cheng"
He quickened his pace until he stopped in front of Zichen. "Why did you bother to come?"
"I’m not here to visit you so that it’s not your problem" Song Lan’s eyes don’t lower to meet Jin Guangyao's, he just pats Wei Wuxian’s shoulder quickly to ensure that he can and will handle this on his own. There’s no need to align any more people, things are bad enough as they are.
"No you are here to try and see your ex... which confuses me because I wasn't ware ex's were on the priority list to inform when a friend tries to... when a friend ends up in hospital"
"Well, that is your personal perspective isn’t it? Maybe you are the kind of person who only cares about people when you are fucking them" Song Lan flashes him a brief glance before walking past him to the nearest coffee machine getting himself a black Americano and turning around to Zonghui "Do you want anything? My treat"
"Excuse me?" Jin Guangyao hisses. He takes a glance at Zonghui and momentarily contemplates fucking it all to hell before he takes a breath. "I've known A-Yang a lot longer than you, I've seen him through some of the worst times of his life-" He takes a step closer. "I can hardly only care about people im fucking otherwise i wouldn't have been there for him since you both-" He cuts himself off again.
"If anything, you are the one who it seems only cares about people when your fucking them. Once you left him you really just stopped caring"
Zonghui shifts on the point where he's standing and observes the situation, seemingly relaxed but ready to intervene at a moment's notice. "No, thank you. I'm fine." He tells Zichen without taking his eyes off Jin Guangyao and tenses when the shorter male steps closer.
"We are not gonna agree on this topic, and I only need to explain myself to Xue Yang - that’s the last thing I’m willing to say to you" Song Lan takes a seat in the waiting room with his disposable cup in hand, taking a long silent sip of his coffee.
"You'll have a long wait. He hasn't woken yet and i can assure you that you are not high at all on the priority list to see him once he does" He glances at Zichen once more before tuning on his heel and heading down a corridor towards a set of elevators before calling over to Zonghui and Zichen. "No point sitting there - he's on the fourth floor"
"I’m comfortable here, thanks, you’ve said it yourself there’s a long wait" Song Lan doesn’t take his eyes off his coffee, his phone vibrates, he takes it off his pocket, it’s a-sang. He shows the text to Zonghui:
‘hi ❤️ surprise! I've just landed in Yunmeng, I’m grabbing some ☕️ and I’ll be there soon, I’ll handle the hostiles 😘😘😘’
Huaisang.
Zonghui relaxes as the doors of the elevator close behind Jin Guangyao and he takes the seat between the two men staying behind with him.
Once Zichen shows the message to him he nods, relieved about the backup. If there's someone to keep A-Yao under wraps it's Nie Huaisang.
*******
Upon entering the hospital Nie Huaisang spots the three silent figures in the hall, each of them focused on their respective phones. He almost makes his way silently to them, but Song Lan’s head lifts up before he can take the last two jumps to their seats "aaaahhh xenomorph ! You ruined my surprise” he sighs dramatically dropping himself on Song Lan’s lap for a hug. Then he turns to Zonghui for an equally effusive welcome.
While Zonghui more or less enjoys the profound display of Huaisang's affection Wuxian continues to reply to Lan Zhan who seems to miss him more than usual.
"Clingy.." he mutters quietly, albeit smiling and completely lost in his own world. It had even passed him by that Huaisang had arrived already.
"Wow, so fucking rude" Huaisang pinches Wei Wuxian’s arm startling him and almost causing him to drop his phone.
"Well, we should go up to wherever Xue Yang is right? I doubt they are keeping him under the front desk" Huaisang chuckles. He stands up raising an eyebrow at the three hesitant men, obviously neither of them looking too enthusiastic to leave their seats.
"Jin Guangyao said he’s on the fourth floor, we should head there I guess..." Song Lan slowly stood up following Nie Huaisang to the elevator, where the younger chit chatted animated as if they were just a group of friends casually heading out for a drink. But all talked was over as soon as the quartet stepped out of the elevator where they were received with icy stares.
Jiang Cheng looked up from where he sat on the window ledge and scowled as Zichen stepped into his view and soffed as his 'bodyguard' appeared behind him. He spots Wuxian next and rolls his eyes. "Wei Wuxian!" He snaps before kicking a bag by his leg. "A-Jie left that for you"
It's then he spots the familiar figure of Huaisang hanging off of Zichen and feels his frown fade and his lips curl fondly.
Jin Guangyao on the other hand sees Huaisang first and narrows his eyes at the younger man before sending off a message to A-Jue. 'Your brother just showed up in Yunmeng with Zichen and Zonghui - i'm assuming you didn't know?' before turning to face him.
"A-Sang... what a surprise."
"A pleasant one I hope!" Nie Huaisang flashed a purposefully wide smile at his brother in law before taking in the faces of everyone in the room. "So... poor A-Yang if the first thing he will see once he wakes up are these angry faces... not cool..." Nie Huaisang shakes his head taking one of the available seats.
"Well anger is an easier emotion in comparison to sadness" Jiang Cheng sighs as he pulls his knees to his chest.
"Still a negative one, I’m sure A-Yang could use some positive boost... what about we all try hopeful huh?” Huaisang winked an eye at Jiang Cheng, getting comfortable in his seat leaning his head back and stretching his legs.
"Hopeful?" Jiang Cheng's gaze hardens a bit. "This is the second time I have been in this position, waiting because something pushed my bestfriend over the edge. So no. Positive emotions aren't really at the top of my priority list right now"
"But it should be, because that’s what Xue Yang needs - to love himself first and most importantly than anything. I know you as friends mean well for him, but he obviously needs some special mental health care or guidance" Nie Huaisang shrugged. "You can blame this on anyone you like, but it was ultimately Xue Yang’s decision, and he needs to work on himself"
"Funny you mention his mental health..." Jiang Cheng turns his gaze to Zichen. "He refused getting help everytime I brought it up, but apparently someone had convinced him to try it out... before ultimately dropping him"
"That was very kind of Zichen, still Xue Yang’s mental health is no one’s responsibility but his own" Huaisang stood up walking to the coffee machine at the ending of the corridor, coming back with a hot chocolate. "You are all being very unrealistic here, you can’t put your life in someone’s else’s hands, that’s selfish and immature, and ultimately unfair"
"A-Sang, I get what you are trying to do, but really there’s no need, please leave it be" Song Lan’s eyes stared a moment too long into Nie Huaisang’s.
Jiang Cheng sighs and turns away from the group and lets his head fall against the window. There was no point in losing his temper with someone who didn't understand or know A-Yang. He'd known him his whole life and yet somehow he had missed all the signs.
He remembers talking to the doctors last time - signs to look out for that mean he was in danger of a relapse.... He hadn't even thought.... He'd never imagined it would get this bad again.
He starts slightly as a hand lands on his shoulder and looks up to see A-Yao next to him before the other sinks to the floor by the wall next to him.
"C’mon big boys, let’s just go grab something to eat and get some air" Huaisang stood up gesturing to Song Lan and Zonghui who silently followed.
An alarm rang off in Song Lan’s phone who excused himself to get a glass of water from the dispenser at the end of the corridor, he took a plastic compartment box from his pocket and swallowed four pills.
"A-Xian, give us a call in case anything happens while we are away" the two tall men followed Huaisang into the elevator silently.
Silence falls over the waiting room again.
Time passes and at some point Jin Guangyao realizes that Jiang Cheng had fallen asleep against the window. He sighs and stands before moving and grabbing a throw blanket from the hastily packed bag and throwing it over his friend.
Then he picks up the bag of food and moves across the room to Wuxian. "A-Xian, have you eaten?"
******
Song Lan and Nie Huaisang took turns to use his hotel room at night. Song Lan and Nie Zonghui came back around three in the morning giving the key to Huaisang, who left and ultimately came back again in the morning.
"Hey pretties! I’ve brought liquid life" Huaisang’s cheerful voice came from the elevator.
He walked into the waiting room with a delivery guy who was trying his best to balance himself with several coffees "I don’t know what some of you drink so there are a couple extra blacks and lattes" he took one of the cups with and SL and handed it to Song Lan, the one marked with a Z to Zonghui, and he took his own. Then he placed a large paper bag in a seat "Donuts in case any of you want some"
Jiang Cheng lifts his head from where he sits before standing and moving over to where Huaisang is. He grabs a black coffee and a donut before offering a small half smile to Huaisang. "Thanks" His voice is dry and horse-like from lack of use. He glances at where Jin Guangyao is sleeping before returning to his seat.
"You are very welcome, prettiest!" Nie Huaisang took a donut from the bag dropping himself fashionably on a seat. "Just for the record, none of you ever saw me eat one of these sugar nightmares, I will deny it"
"Your secret is safe with me" Jiang Cheng promises with another smile. He eats half the donut before draining the coffee and repositioning himself on his chair.
As he sits his leg vibrates tapping against the floor and he chews absentmindedly on his lip.
Song Lan’s phone alarm rang off and he stands up and repeated his pills ritual mechanically, but once he sat back he started to feel an awkward restlessness.
"I’m gonna go run or walk around the building or something before I start counting tiles, there are... many tiles here..." he paused at Nie Huaisang’s frown "A-Sang, hit me up if anything changes ok?" Song Lan stood up and disappeared in the elevator.
Jin Guangyao startles at the sound of the alarm, blinking before staring at Zichen's retreating back into the elevator. He glances at Jiang Cheng - a silent question he already knows the answer to - and Jiang Cheng just shakes his head.
He lets his head fall back against the wall and closes his eyes again.
A tap on his shoulder and he tilts his head to see Jiang Cheng holding out a cup of lukewarm coffee. "Huaisang bought some food up."
He glances over Huaisang. "thank you A-Sang"
"I’m about to join the loony team myself pfft... they could have a tv with Netflix or something, why make the waiting so depressing?" Nie Huaisang sighed "I’m gonna find Zichen and I’ll bring some more drinkable coffee because those machines are poison, Zonghui call us if anything comes up"
Jiang Cheng watches as Huaisang leaves after song zichen before sliding down to the floor next to Jin Guangyao and closes his eyes. "He'll be alright won't he yao-ge?"
There's a moment of silence before Jin Guangyao wraps an arm around his shoulders. "He will. He'll wake up soon A-Cheng."
*******
Song Lan and Nie Huaisang walk in later with another round of coffee and different hot sandwiches. Song Lan sits next to Zonghui and takes his extra large black coffee.
Huaisang sits with his coffee immersed in typing something on his phone.
The silence of the waiting is only broken by the faint sound of fingers tapping on phones and the sound of plastic rustling as they eat.
A while later it starts to rain. It's not bad - not a storm - but.... His eyes drift to the set of doors leading to the ward that have remained shut. Doctors and nurses pass but none come to call on them.
"Let’s just do it like we did last night, you two go to the hotel, shower sleep and then I go ok?’ Nie Huaisang turns to Song Lan and Zonghui, both men simply nod. Huaisang sighs, truly waiting is not one of his preferred hobbies, and this wait room/corridor is as uncomfortable and gloomy as the company.
Jin Guangyao can't sleep. He massages his temples in an attempt to slow down the growing migraine before throwing another blanket over A-Cheng. He doesn't spare a glance at Huaisang to see if he's sleeping or still awake before he slips into the elevator.
It's only when he's standing at the front of the hospital alone in the cold night does he let his silent tears fall.
******
Song Lan and Zonghui come back earlier than the previous night. "A-Sang I brought you a jumper of mine because it’s cold outside, the taxi is waiting to take you to the hotel, go get some good rest" Song Lan ruffles Huaisang’s hair and the younger man smiles. Huaisang hugs him and then Zonghui before walking to the elevator.
Jin Guangyao closes his eyes and takes a deep breath - the tension in him easing up as the elevator closes behind Huaisang.
He opens them and casts a wary eye over both Zonghui and Zichen before pulling the blanket around him tighter. He doesn't remember falling asleep but when he wakes it is to the elevator opening and Jiang Cheng slipping in with a box of muffins he recognises from the hospital cafeteria along with two coffees.
He reaches out a hand for one thankfully before moving his numb legs with a wince.
******
Nie Huaisang repeats the exact same routine that the previous day, he arrived in the morning with a delivery guy balancing a big order of various coffees and this time he brought bags of assorted cookies, chocolate chips on one and coconut/orange the second.
"What a sense of deja vu" he sighs taking a seat with a cup of coffee in his hands.
The morning drags by. Jiang Cheng keeps one eye on the time and the other on the set of doors that still haven't opened-
Jin Guangyao mentions lunch at some point but he just shakes his head. He doesn't care.
Food is placed in front of him and he absentmindedly picks at it. Another cup of coffee.
And then the doors open.
*****
Everybody in the room nearly jumped off of their seats. Like a coordinated human wave they all stood up in sync.
Nie Huaisang wraps an arm around Zichen as the doctor approaches the group, an unusual rather large group.
Both Jin Guangyao and Jiang Cheng move towards the doctor. "Is he okay?" Jin Guangyao asks "What happened? How is he?"
The doctor eyes the group. "He's alive. Upset but still on medication." Jiang Cheng sags beside him and Jin Guangyao reaches out to grip his arm.
"Well that was to be expected... wasn’t it? So how long until anyone can see him?" Huaisang takes the lead asking before Jin Guanyao can open his mouth again.
"Technically if he wants to see you now, you can see him - if you want to give me your names I can tell him who's here"
"Well, except this one here" Nie Huaisang points at Zonghui "I think everybody else would want that... let them two assh- friends first" Huaisang squints his eyes as he corrects himself.
Jin Guangyao rolls his eyes before pulling Jiang Cheng over to the doctor to introduce themselves. He casts a wary eye back at Huaisang before lowering his voice. "I'd appreciate it if you didn't describe any one else here to him... I'd like to tell him myself"
"Excuse me? He is an adult and you have no legal power to make such a decision, I’m fact what you are asking is illegal and no serious doctor would do such an irresponsible thing right doc?" Huaisang took a defying step forward "Ask Xue Yang who he wants to see, it’s his right to decide after all"
"We are the closest thing to family he has Huaisang! We know him better than anyone else here - one person who never met him, one who only met him for the first time mid break-down, and the third..." He glares at Zichen "An ex who spent most of the year they were together fighting with him"
"Ahh was he an asshole for leaving or was he an asshole when they were together? Shut up you controlling minion! The doctor isn't here to entertain your self centered ass, he has a legal procedure to follow, and Xue Yang is the one deciding, period. You can go in first if you like but the doctor can’t and won’t lie because you want him to!" Huaisang is really at the verge of crossing the line and slapping Jin Guangyao, he feels a hand squeezing his shoulder.
Zonghui.
"I don't want to lie to him! I want to be there when he finds out to make sure he doesn't do something stupid and hurt himself!"
"He is at a fucking psych ward, I think he’s better watched here than under your care, for obvious reasons! And what you are suggesting is lying, of course your a pathological liar so how would you know the difference... a lie by omission is still a fucking lie!"
"A-Sang…" Song Lan interrupted. "How about we let the doctor do his job without all this... shit show? He knows what’s best, we do what he says"
"I'm not! You just pull out random terms because you dislike me - Fine let the good doctor do his job but-" Jin Guangyao turns to Zichen. "If he wants to see you don't say anything stupid or hurt him worse than you already have"
"Please get it done already so we can leave the fuck out of here and you can go back to your nanny duties, just bring in that list and let’s get out of here" moaned Huaisang.
The doctor collects the names before he leaves and the door shuts behind him.
Jin Guangyao spins towards Huaisang but Jiang Cheng reaches out and grabs his arm. "Leave it ge, calm down a bit or he'll think your mad at him"
"If they are such close friends I’m pretty sure Xue Yang knows this one is mad at life itself" Nie Huaisang rolled his eyes before turning to Zichen. "You talk to him and once he is satisfied and you clear out your shit we are leaving" his eyes set on Zichen, it’s more an order than a question.
"Maybe, but you aren't helping matters either" Jiang Cheng reasoned. Going in, to see him like this..." He glances at Zichen and back to Jin GuangYao and Wuxian. "He won't be.... he might say things he doesn't mean. The drugs plus his headspace and certain.... shock"
"I’ve been on drugs for almost 10 years so I think I understand that part better than anyone else in this room" Zichen cut him off "I’ll give Xue Yang the space and courtesy to say what he wants and then I won’t bother any of you again"
Jiang Cheng nods and then the door is opening again and Jin Guangyao, and Jiang Cheng slip through and follow the doctor into the ward.
********
Xue Yang is pale as he sits curled up on the bed. "A-Yang?"
His head lifts up and jiang cheng rushes forward. "A-Cheng, Yao-ge... I'm sorry-"
Jin Guangyao sighs as he sits on the end of the bed. "You're okay A-Yang. We're here. You'll be okay..."
"You're an idiot," Jiang Cheng states as he brushes a strand of hair off of Xue Yang's face and sits next to him. "You... talk to me when you.... please A-Yang"
Xue Yang nods before glancing at the door of the ward. "Is he... Zi.... is he really here?"
Jin Guangyao stiffens. "Yes. but you don't have to see him if you don't want to"
Silence falls before... "I do. I want to see him.."
********
Nie Huaisang is pacing up and down the corridor with his arms crossed over his chest, a permanent frown in his face and a sigh escaping his lips every few steps. Zonghui and Song Lan just stand there following his movement like stone statues.
When the door opens and Jiang Cheng and Jin Guangyao come out, Huaisang speaks before Zichen can even form words in his head "So??"
Jiang Cheng reaches out and places a hand on Jin Guangyao's arm before turning to Zichen.
"He wants to see you."
Jin Guangyao clenches his fists. And Jiang Cheng tightens his grip. "Just don't.... don't hurt him. Please."
Zichen sighs and shakes his head "That was never my attention and it still isn’t" he replies to Jiang Cheng before walking past them and a Huaisang with an ‘i told you so’ look on his face.
Zichen opens the door to the room timidly, he takes a few steps in, unsure of what kind of distance he is supposed to maintain, since this ex status is something completely new to him.
"Hey" is all he manages to say to the pale boy in the bed.
******
Xue Yang turns his head to see Zichen standing there and just shakes his head with a dry laugh. "Hi"
"I won’t ask how you are because it’s an understatement... you gave us all a big scare A-Yang. I’m sorry, I never thought... I didn't think it would all lead to this" Zichen’s eyes are fixed on counting the tiles on the floor.
A bitter laugh leaves Xue Yang's throat. "How did you think it would all go then? Hmm?" A stray tear slides down his cheek.
"I thought Xingchen would stay with you... I never wanted to hurt you, I'm sorry… I couldn't figure any other way out... But I will do whatever you need now, I want you to be okay..."
"I wanted you to stay. I wanted us to be happy - I was happy, I thought you were happy..." he wipes away the tears. "I wanted you to stay and you left and when I wanted to...."
"I'm sorry I was a coward and didn't express my feelings in time to avoid... But I want to learn so I can be better, if I had known Xingchen would react like that I wouldn't have left you.. it's ok if you can't forgive me, but you need to know it wasn't your fault and I don't want to hurt you. I love you A-Yang... I just don't know how...! I'm stupid for these things... But I'm here for you if you need me"
"I needed you a month ago. When you blocked my number and made me break Xingchen's heart for you."
"I can't fix that Xue Yang. I'm sorry I can't read things right... I needed to get away from him. I really needed it and I still do. But you have not let me down so it was unfair that you got caught up in this... For what it's worth I mean it, i'll do anything you want me to now, anything to make it up for you, because Xingchen and I aren't worth your life A-Yang"
"I tried to get rid of you. But you are under my skin Zichen" He lifts his bandaged wrist, the covered tattoo... "I can't get rid of either of you without killing myself"
"What? Then don't, A-Yang - your value is not on us! It's on yourself, you are a person on your own, an amazing one and I don't like many people at all... I won't leave you if you don't want me to"
"I didn't want you to leave before. It didn't stop you then." He drops his head to his knees. "What will stop you from leaving again?"
"I would only leave you if you hurt me... I wasn't leaving you , I was leaving him ... I thought you'd prefer to stay with him. When he was at the hospital you said something to me... Something he never did, I won't leave you if you really meant that"
Xue Yang furrowed his brows and tried to wrack his brains. "What..?"
"You said if you had someone like me you would never risk sharing..."
(And oh. He remembers that conversation….)
Xue Yang peeks up at Zichen and tries to hide the flush on his cheeks. "I... I meant it."
"Oh... Ok" Zichen walks closer standing at the edge of the bed "So what do you want to do now?"
Xue Yang shrugs and picks at the blanket. "I.. I don't know." He moves his legs to make room on the bed.
"Would you like to stay... here in Yunmeng…? or...?" Song Lan sits in the space offered
He shrugs. "I don't... I don't have a home. Here... Anymore. Whenever I've been here, since my parents died, I've stayed with A-Cheng"
"Well I don't really have a home either, as the saying goes... Home is where you make it, tell me what you want to do and i'll follow"
He leans forward and let's his head rest against Zichen's shoulder and closes his eyes. "I haven't forgiven you"
"Fair enough, you can take your time" Song Lan wraps an arm around Xue Yang's shoulders "Ah you should know… I have a dog now"
He lifts his head with a small smile. "Really? Do you have a photo?" He moves closer into Zichen's warmth.
"I've had him for less than a week so we only have one selfie..." Song Lan takes out his phone to show Xue Yang the picture. "This is Bourne. I think he actually adopted me" Zichen laughs.
"He's beautiful" He traces the phone screen lightly with his finger. He leans into Zichen again and stifles a yawn. "I can't wait to meet him"
”Get well soon so we can get you out of here" Song Lan kisses Xue Yang's forehead. "Please talk to your friends, I'm sure they must be plotting to hire a hitman or poison my food or something out there"
He turns and hides his smile in Zichen's neck. "I won't let them.... They mean well...." He reached out and intertwined his fingers with Zichen's lightly. "You promise you're not going to go anywhere?"
"I promise" Zichen nods "I'm not going anywhere without you"
He can't stop the next yawn and repositions his head against Zichen's arm. "I missed you"
"I'm sorry, I missed you too" Zichen rests his head against Xue Yang's. "You should rest, I'll let your friends in so they can see you are alright, and I will be back later for visiting hours ok?"
His fingers grip onto Zichen. "Stay. Please. Just a bit longer."
”Ok" Song Lan smiles and tightens his arm around Xue Yang.
Xue Yang smiles against Zichen's chest and within moments he's drifting off to sleep.
A few minutes later the doctor walks in and asks Zichen to let Xue Yang rest, Zichen makes him promise that he'll tell Xue Yang that he is right outside his room. Zichen steps back into the waiting where many pairs of eyes are on him.
Jiang Cheng jumps to his feet before A-Yao can open his mouth. "Well?"
"Well what?" Zichen shrugs walking to the coffee machine.
"What happened? How is he? Are you staying or going?"
"We talked, he is fine and sleeping. I’m staying." Zichen sat back on one of the seats with his coffee
Jiang Cheng glances at Jin Guangyao whose eyes have narrowed. Jin Guangyao leans forward. "You're sure this time? Not gonna give up and leave him again?"
"I never intended to leave him " Song Lan rolled his eyes "and that’s between me and him anyway"
"You might not have intended to - but you did"
"Yeah, I know, there’s no need for you to remind me again "
Jin Guangyao sits back. "Well as long as you remember there'll be no need for me to say it again"
Song Lan chooses not to answer this time. He’s done explaining himself, he already said what he wanted to say to whom he wanted to say it. Jin Guangyao is not taking that little victory away from him.
"A-Yao let it go okay?" Jiang Cheng reaches out and places a hand on Jin Guangyao's arm. "A-Yang is fine"
"Now is when I say.... I told you so !" Huaisang rolled his eyes debating between displaying his smug smile or not, he chose not to.
"It wasn't a game Huaisang!" Guangyao snapped. "It wasn't about being right or wrong ."
"I never said it was a game, but you mistreated someone unnecessarily, despite how many times I told you that you had all your facts wrong, you still insisted"
"I said what I said out of anger on behalf of my best friend"
"Yeah well it didn’t help your friend or anyone - like I anticipated - but you are too stuck up to listen. You are still defending your attacks instead of recognizing you were wrong"
Jin Guangyao bites his tongue and turns to Zichen. "You said he was asleep? Do you think he'll be up soon again or was he exhausted?"
"He’s on benzos," Huaisang interrupted. "Those make you sleepy as fuck, he was relieved so I’m guessing he’ll take a long nap"
Jin Guangyao forces a smile on his face as he turns back to Huaisang. "I thought you said you were leaving A-Sang"
"Yep, I actually prefer to be in places where... where there’s no annoying Jin's, but Zonghui is staying! I’m not trusting you two with Zichen at all"
"If Zichen has no intention of hurting A-Yang any further-"
"He never had! And only you two can’t see it!"
"He may not have meant to be. My point stands: if he stays and A-Yang is happy...." His gaze moves from Nie Huaisang to Zichen and his tone loses some of the sharpness. "I've - we've - only ever wanted him to be happy"
"Ah so you can insult and trash my brother without intending to, but it’s someone else who fucks up and they are the worst? You’ve got some grey morals to work on"
"I've never claimed otherwise"
"Hahahaha and you are so proud to misjudge and hurt people? Unbelievable" Nie Huaisang stood up "Well king, I’m leaving since I see you got this. I need to cleanse my aura from all this negativity... text me anytime"
Huaisang hugged both Song Lan and Zonghui as effusively as when he arrived and then left without sparing a glance or a word at either Jin Guangyao or Jiang Cheng. He did stop to say goodby to Wei Wuxian before stepping into the elevator.
Jin Guangyao sinks into a chair. He glances at Jiang Cheng who is frowning slightly, then to Zichen. He sighs.
Maybe now he'd get some quiet.
He glances at his phone to see a message from Xichen and smiles.
"A-Cheng" He nudges his friend lightly. "Xichen booked a room at the hotel - im going back to get some sleep now if you want to take it later"
Jiang Cheng just nods.
He stands again and moves towards the elevator - pausing in front of Zichen. "Thank you. For caring enough to come back for him"
Zichen doesn’t answer. He just nods and turns back his attention to his phone. He ran from Xingchen, he is not interested at all in getting closer to someone like Jin Guangyao.
Jin Guangyao shakes his head and turns towards the elevator pulling his phone out and messaging Xichen to reassure him. As the door closes he casts a last worried glance at the closet set of doors before the elevator doors slide shut.
******
Zichen lets out a long sigh as soon as the elevator doors close leaning more comfortably on his seat stretching his legs. "Blessed silence" he rolled his eyes, Zonghui can’t help a small chuckle escaping his lips.
"He doesn't mean to come off so rude" Jiang Cheng lifts his head to look at the other two. "He just... He cares and he's not good at separating his emotions.... It's been a stressful few weeks"
"I really really don’t care. I don’t need to make peace with him. I don’t care - he can have his friendship with Xue Yang, I don’t have a problem with it, but I’m done being comprehensive with everybody else’s traumas and the least I get to share a space with him, the better" Zichen said as the alarm on his phone went off. He just walked to the water dispenser and swallowed his pills.
"Fair enough - just if you ever decide to make peace with him in the future... don't let his wall stop you - people tend to get a bad first impression of him." His eyes drift to the empty seat where Huaisang had sat. "He's not terrible." He shakes his head. "Do any of you want dinner? I could do with stretching my legs."
"We have different views about everything, so I don’t think I will ever be thrilled to move past this point" Song Lan sighs "We’ll order something, you can go if you need to, A-Yang is safe, it’s okay to take some rest"
"I'll go later... I haven't slept in a bed in almost a week." He stands anyway. "I'll be back in a bit" He smiles at Zichen and nods at Zonghui before leaving.
*****
Song Lan asks Zonghui to stay in the waiting room as he goes down to the hospital cafeteria.
He finds what he’s looking for, two bags of skittles that he stuffs in his pockets, then he gets two coffees and two muffins to include Zonghui who waits upstairs.
*******
The next morning when visiting hours start Jin Guangyao and Jiang Cheng head in to talk to Xue Yang.
The conversation doesn't last as long as they like - Xue Yang is fidgety, gripping onto the sheets and -
"He's still outside"Jiang Cheng interrupts Jin Guangyao. "Do you want to see him instead?"
Xue Yang glances between the both nervously before nodding.
Jin Guangyao sighs before leaning over and pushing a strand of hair behind his ear. "Don't let him hurt you again"
"He won't"
*******
"Hey" Song Lan says before slowly walking into the room "I’ve smuggled something for you." He takes the packets of skittles from his pocket placing them on Xue Yang’s bed.
Xue Yang stares at them a moment before letting out a laugh and moving on his bed to make room. "Open one for me?"
"Sure" Song Lan sits next to Xue Yang, opening one of the packets and placing it in Xue Yang’s lap "I... I think we should have some rules... for us"
Xue Yang's hands freeze for a moment before he picks up the packet. "Rules?"
"Yeah... there’s no point in doing this if... I do things like I did with Xingchen right? So... I’ve been thinking... first: no thirds. I’m okay with you seeing Xingchen, if you want to, but only Xingchen, no one else. And... Second: You have to agree to start treatment with Dr. Wen - or any other therapist of your choosing... and I... I will tell you about myself but you must promise to never talk to anyone about it without my permission"
"I don't... I don't think Xingchen.... I don't think that'll be an issue..." He picks at the skittles before picking a green one and chewing at it. "And... I already said I'd talk to her." He lifts his eyes to Zichen. "And you don't need to tell me if you don't want to."
"Us orphans always do this, like pretend that part of our lives doesn’t exist, but it does. If you know it can never be a misunderstanding... so I will tell you, I will trust... in you. Not just talk, I want you to promise you will commit to feel better"
He nods slowly picking at the skittles. "Okay. I'll try. I promise." He reaches out to grip Zichen's hand and squeezes lightly.
Song Lan let out a long sigh but he intertwined his fingers with Xue Yang’s "Have you thought about what you want to do, when you get out of here?"
Xue Yang shakes his head. "No. I just want to get out." He slumps against Zichen.
"I can imagine, this is not the most stimulating place to be... I meant if you... do you want to come live with me? Or do you want to stay with your friends? I can accept that too"
"If you don't mind... I mean..." his fingers tighten. "Can I come with you? I mean... I've had enough of them this last month..."
"Ok... my new place is small, just one bedroom, but you’ll like the balcony, and I’d like to stay there because of the park, for Bourne you know..." Song Lan rests his head on Xue Yang’s
"Mmm" he closes his eyes. "It sounds nice. I can't wait to meet him"
"Then get well soon so I can take you home" Song Lan wraps an arm around Xue Yang bringing him closer to his chest.
"I will. I want to go with you" he turns his face in towards Zichen and moves the skittles off his lap. "I really missed you"
"I missed you too. I’m sorry I handled things so poorly... and you suffered because of it" Song Lan pulling away a strand of hair behind Xue Yang’s ear.
He just nods against Zichens chest. "I'm sorry I tried.... I'll talk to someone I swear. I don't... I'm sorry"
"But do it for you, no one is worth this Xue Yang... not me or Xingchen, anyone. You should love yourself and your life, you have reasons to, find them and hold on to that. I never thought that things... would go that bad. I just really needed to do something for myself for once."
"I'm sorry. I didn't... I haven't been that bad since I dropped out... since my parents... since everything happened then..." he opens his eyes and trails a finger over the tattoo on Zichen's wrist.
"You can never be that bad again... specially for things you have no control over" Song Lan’s arms run up and down Xue Yang’s back.
"I'll try. I promise I'll try"
"Thank you" Zichen lifts Xue Yang’s chin to give him a peck on his lips
Xue Yang smiles lightly before reaching up and running a finger over his cheek. "I'm glad you came"
"I’m glad you are glad," Zichen laughed. "No one out there thought you’d be glad... quite the opposite"
"I didn't think I would be," Xue Yang admitted. "I was so angry and hurt and... but I'm sorry for anything they said. You didn't deserve it."
"It’s fine. People take conclusions from what they see. I don’t care anyway, about them I mean, I only came for you. ”
He presses his face into Zichen's neck. "Thank you"
"Have you talked to the doctors here? What do they say?"
"As long as I don't show any signs of relapse and show I'm not a danger to myself, it shouldn't be too much longer... They are keeping an eye on me though because it isn't the first time.."
"Be a good boy then. I’m going to shrink from sitting all day in those kindergarten size seats out there" Song Lan smiled squeezing Xue Yang’s hand.
"You can just stay in here then"
"But... are you allowed to have someone here?"
"Stay until you have to leave then. And then come back again tomorrow. You don't have to sit in those seats."
"I’ll stay for as long as you want me to, but for you, not the seats."
"I don't want you to leave"
"I’m sure if I talked to your doc I could easily get assigned the room next door" Song Lan chuckled "but we can just try to ask politely first"
"Or you can just stay here" he smiles against Zichen before peaking up at him with a small grin.
"Ok, I’m staying until they kick me out" Song Lan pulled Xue Yang in to let him sit on his lap.
Xue Yang wraps his arms around Song Lan and berries his face in his neck. "Missed this" He murmurs.
"What exactly? Your favorite mattress?" Song Lan laughs.
He makes a non committal hum and curls up tighter on him. "Sure"
(He feels Zichen smile against his neck.)
******
Jin Guangyao disappears with whispered threats and glares. Upon leaving he hesitates and pulls a familiar phone out of his pocket. "Talk to him before you give it back. He doesn't know…. We didn't let him see… just use your head"
The elevator shuts.
Song Lan steps into the ward the morning after "Hey! Morning sunshine."
He takes the space offered on the bed.
Xue Yang looks more like himself, more awake.
"So… Shorty left and he gave me your phone" Xue Yang's green eyes look up to Song Lan "but, before I give it back... You need to know that Xingchen were arguing all over main... Subtweeting back and forth bitter stuff... He was very upset. I... I didn't really hold myself replying and we said a lot of shit. I want you to know that when I said I was angry about thirds… I didn't mean angry with you... I'm angry with Xiao Xingchen for needing other people. And I said... I didn't love you at first… which is true. You are pretty but I wasn't thrilled about you joining my relationship... It's different now because I know you and I love you ok?"
Song Lan takes a pause to breathe and recount the words he just said "So if you have any questions, don't jump into conclusions, ask me first ok?"
Xue Yang blinks for a few seconds before glancing at the phone and then back at Song Lan trying to absorb the barrage of information. "Okay... I... Okay."
He offers a small smile before leaning over and pressing a kiss to Song Lan's cheek. "I trust you"
"Well we'll see... We were... very out of character and hurtful. I wouldn't read it if I were you, but curiosity will probably take over" Song Lan laughed. "Whatever stupid things I said doesn't change the fact that I'm taking you home with me because I want to. "
"It probably will," Xue Yang agrees, "Curiosity usually does with me." He moves to sit closer to Song Lan. "But not right now... I don't want to go looking for it now."
"That's very wise, now you just get better" Song Lan wraps an arm around his shoulders and kisses his forehead.
"I will." He smiles lightly at Song Lan before he curls up next to him. "And I have my moments."
Song Lan nods. "Mn, but if you don't learn how to talk things out you'll end blowing up everything like me."
"I'll talk to someone... I will..." He sighs. "I'm just not... I'm not the best at it..."
"You don’t have to be good at it...just try... Everytime I try it just comes out like I vomited words" Song Lan laughs. "But obviously not saying it eventually made everything worse... and harder to say"
Xue Yang nods. "I'll try, promise" He curls in closer to Song Lan.
"Good kitten" Song Lan ruffles his hair. “I can’t wait to take you home."
"I can't wait to go home either. I don't... I'm not a fan of hospitals as a whole."
"Hospitals are depressing on their own... and boring, so terribly boring” Song Lan rolled his eyes. "And I’m starting to feel so anxious about someone living in my house while I’m not there... "
"I don't do well with boredom" Xue Yang agrees. "And is someone minding Bourne in your apartment then?"
"I didn’t want to leave him at the shelter so I hired one of Xingchen’s coworkers as a dog nanny. She offered to care for him in my place and I was in a rush so I said yes" Song Lan shrugged.
"You've become so attached already?" Xue Yang teased. "And he'd probably be more comfortable in a familiar setting anyway."
"It’s not about attachment... it is more about responsibility? I just thought that after being in the streets and then having a home, sending him to the shelter would be confusing even if it’s just for a few days... maybe he would have thought I was getting rid of him?? It just felt rude... but now i think of someone in my house, sleeping in my bed and it bothers me a lot"
Xue yang stiffens for a second (responsibility not attachment-) before he forces himself to relax. "I doubt he would have thought that, but it's really sweet of you to care so much about it all." He shifts slightly. "I'll help you clear up once we get back."
"And take away my main coping mechanism? No, you don’t volunteer to clean up for a germaphobe sweetheart” Song Lan laughed.
"But is the offer appreciated all the same darling?"
"Of course, I know cleaning isn’t supposed to be fun, so it’s a generous offer coming from you."
"Hey! I can clean - I am an artist after all! What state do you think my brushes would be in if i didn't clean them?"
"But cleaning your own stuff because you need to, isn't the same as cleaning the general mess of a house... please remind me to buy new bed sheets on the way home."
"Hmmm, true I suppose... and I will." He hides a smile in Zichen's chest. "Are you going to buy something for Bourne?"
Song Lan raises an eyebrow in confusion “Something like what?? A souvenir?? Do people do that for dogs?’
"A treat... sometimes people buy stuff for their dogs... what about a bandana or a new collar?"
"Ahh I didn’t know that, you can choose something you like for him, there is just too much stuff at a pet shop I didn’t even know where to look. It made me anxious."
Xue Yang smiles and slips their fingers together. "I'll come with you, we can pick something together."
"Maybe something neon like because he is hard to spot in the dark. He looks like a grim coming at you if you walk him at the park at night." Song Lan pecks his nose "You’ll like him, he’s very soft and warm"
"So just like you then?" Xue Yang grins.
"Have you just called me soft?" Song Lan squinted his eyes.
"Soft and warm" Xue Yang clarifies with a laugh. "And an excellent pillow."
"Bourne seems to agree with the last statement too... as for the soft part I’m not feeling exactly soft at the moment..." Song Lan rolled his eyes.
Xue Yang kisses his cheek with a smile - definitely soft.
"You broke me, I think I even missed cuddling, who the hell am I now?" Song laughed cupping Xue Yang’s cheek with his hand.
"Same person you've always been," Xue Yang grinned before leaning over and kissing him.
"Mhm" Song Lan wraps both his arms around Xue Yang’s waist. "Can I get more kisses until visiting hours are over?"
"Of course" Xue Yang grins before he repositions himself on Song Lan's lap and faces him.
"You should send your friend home, I can stay here during visiting hours, and you can call me anytime and write to me anytime with your phone" Song Lan ran a hand through Xue Yang’s messy hair.
"A-Cheng is still here?" Xue Yang glances worriedly at the door. "I told them they could leave last night… And I know" he smiles at Song Lan and rests his head against his forehead. "I will"
"This one is stubborn. You are gonna have to tell him again" Song Lan chuckled “you tell them I’m taking care of you now."
"Can you get him then?" Xue Yang says as he slips off Zichen's lap. "There's no point him sitting out there alone..."
"Sure" Song Lan pecks his lips before leaving the room.
"Hey" Jiang Cheng lifts his eyes to meet Song Lan’s "Come in, he wants to see you"
"A-Cheng..."
"are you okay A-Yang-?"
"A-Cheng I'm fine... I'm trying to say you can leave. Go home."
"But-"
"Don't argue with me Di! Zichen is here. I'm going to be okay. I promise"
Jiang Cheng glances nervously at Xue Yang before pulling him in for a hug. "Please stay safe" He turns to Zichen. "Keep him safe."
"I will" Song Lan nods pulling away a strand of hair from Xue Yang’s face "He will have his phone you can talk to him anytime"
Jiang Cheng glances between them trying to see if he was missing something before nodding. "Okay. Okay. But tell me before you leave! I want to talk to you before you disappear again"
Xue Yang nods. "I'll call. I promise."
Jiang Cheng pulls him in for a hug before glancing between them again and leaving.
"Nice, now I’ll have all the seats to myself" Song Lan laughed jumping back to the bed with Xue Yang.
"Who said you'll be out on the seats?" Xue Yang laughs as he climbs over onto Song Lans lap. "You're to go back and sleep in the hotel room I know you have and come back tomorrow"
"Are you sure? I don’t mind staying here. I don’t think you’ll be staying here for much longer anyway." Song Lan wrapped his arms again around him tightly.
"I don't want you to be uncomfortable A-Lan. If you can't stay in here there's no point staying in the seats when you have a perfectly good bed"
"It’s not perfectly good." Song Lan shakes his head. "I don’t like to sleep in unknown beds, especially hotel ones where a lot of people have slept in. I prefer to be closer to you. I’ll just go tomorrow for a while to take a proper shower."
Xue Yang sighs and rests his forehead against Zichens. "If you're sure then. Don't put yourself out love"
"I’ll sleep uncomfortably anyway, so I prefer to be just a door away from you, so you know that I really want to be with you"
Xue Yang smiles and can't stop the blush that rises to his cheeks. "I know you want to be with me. I do. You don't have to spend all night in a too small chair to try and prove it"
"That’s the point, I don’t have to but I want to" Song Lan pecks his lips "I’m sorry I... didn’t give you a real chance before..."
Xue Yang closed his eyes for a second before opening them again. He presses a kiss to Song Lan's forehead. "You're giving me one now."
"And so are you..." Song Lan drags him closer so their noises are brushing against each other "10 minutes until visiting hours end, kiss me until they kick me out?"
Xue Yang only grins and leans forward to close the gap between their lips, wrapping his arms around Song Lan's neck.
******
"Hi beautiful" Song Lan walks into the room, to find Xue Yang standing right behind the door. "Were you going somewhere?" He chuckles.
"To find you." Xue Yang stuck out his tongue. "I've had enough of this room.... it's so boring"
"You can’t walk out on your own... what if they think you are trying to break out huh? Be good, I’ll stay with you all the time they let me..." Song Lan picks him up on his arms without a warning and takes him to the bed. "Behave"
Xue Yang laughs and moves so he can loosely wraps his legs around Song Lan's waist. "If I was trying to break out I wouldn't do it during the day…
"A-Yang, this is the psych ward. There’s a guard my size out there at night" Song Lan laughs. "Maybe if you talk to your doctor and you commit to follow up therapy they’d consider letting you out sooner..."
He lets out a dramatic sigh "Alas there goes my bid for freedom" He lets his head drop against Song Lans neck "I'll talk to him.... anything to get out of here sooner.... I want to go home."
"And to get you better, that is just as important... " Song Lan tickles his side "No more avoiding stuff, for either of us. Ever."
Xue Yang lets out a shriek of laughter as he attempts to get away from Zichen's merciless tickles. "I concede! I concede!"
"I take your word!" Song Lan stops his tickling allowing Xue Yang to get comfortable sitting between his legs in the bed, then he pulls out of his pockets the candies. But it’s just in that moment that Xue Yang’s doctor walks in the room eyeing the situation like a school teacher who just caught two students doing something forbidden in their break time.
Xue Yang quickly snatches the candy and places it under his pillow. "Hey doc... What can we do for you? Ooh do you know when I can leave?"
The doctor laughs and shakes his head with a smile. "That is complicated in these situations... it’s not like we can take your temperature and assess that you are no longer sick. It's a different kind of danger. Legally once you are out of physical danger we are bound to keep you here even if against your will for 72 hours, which you have passed with no hints at attempting to harm yourself again... so you can voluntarily check yourself out but I advise you find a therapist to work with in the future."
Xue Yang sat up. "So I'm free to go now?" He turned to grin at Zichen before turning back to the doctor. "I can go home?"
"Yes, you can, but please take my recommendations seriously. This is your second round. How many more do you think you’d be this lucky? This is no light issue that you can just brush away like it didn’t happen Mr. Xue... We saw a large group of people out there these days - waiting for you - don’t just forget that in the joy of the moment... Now I’ll leave you to consider this, and if you decide to leave just head straight to the front desk to sign your discharge papers. Have a good day." The doctor nods his head to both of them before leaving the room.
Xue Yang curls up next to Song Lan before reaching for the candies. "Do you... can I come back with you today then?"
"We’d probably have to spend the night at the hotel and fly back tomorrow, or you can stay here today." Song Lan took out his phone "I’ll get us tickets for tomorrow, is that okay?"
"The hotel is okay with me... and yes. Tomorrow. " he lets his head rest against Song Lan's chest. "I just really want to get out of here."
"Then stop cuddling and let's get out! I’m sure you know where the KFC is in this city." Song Lan winked an eye at him. "Get dressed while I pack the stuff your friend brought for you"
Xue Yang grins at Song Lan before leaning over and kissing him. "Yes! I do!" He slides off the bed and sets his phone and the pack of sweets on the locker before grabbing a change of clothes.
It doesn’t take them long to pack Xue Yang’s few comfortable clothes and leave to sign off the paperwork.
They take a taxi to the KFC, Xue Yang grateful to have some real food. Then a taxi back to the hotel.
Song Lan places Xue Yang’s bag in the closet. "Hey, why don’t you let your friend know you are out and leaving tomorrow? I’ll let Bourne’s nanny know we’ll be there tomorrow afternoon" Song Lan takes off his shoes and lay on the bed, stretching his legs to the very end of the bed while typing something on his phone.
Xue Yang kicks off his own shoes and lies on the bed, across Song Lan's chest while he pulls out his own phone and sends a message off. Jiang cheng replies almost immediately and Xue Yang locks his phone so he can curl up next to Song Lan.
"Do you wanna go somewhere? Something you want to do in Yunmeng? I swear if I had to be in a bed for as long as you have... I’d just want to run a marathon right after" Song Lan laughed running his fingers through Xue Yang’s hair.
"I'm feeling lazy~" Xue Yang moaned as he moved closer to Song Lan. "The bed in the hospital was tiny ! Hardly good for cuddles at all!"
"You are so lazy you should be studied by science! I thought you didn’t mind the bed size since no matter how much space at your disposal you always insist on being very very close" Song Lan chuckled "ok, let’s do nothing lazy cat"
He rests his chin on Song Lan's chest and grins. "I thought we had already established the laziness factor" he leans up to kiss Song Lan. "And nothing at all?"
"Isn’t that what you do when you aren’t painting? Nothing at all?" Song Lan quirks and eyebrow and throws an arm around Xue Yang’s back. "The last week’s been so boring my brain is frozen, I don’t even remember how many days ago I came here..."
"Oh of course.... What else would I do when I'm not painting? Sleep? Maybe watch a movie..." He runs his fingers gently across Song Lan's cheek and smiles sadly. "Thank you for being here."
"Why the long face? I’m not here doing you a favor... I’m here because I want to be silly" Song Lan turns his lips to the side so he can kiss Xue Yang’s hand.
"Still... I don't think I'd be out yet if you hadn't come... I was... I haven't been in a good place at all the last while..." he let's his head drop to song Lan's shoulder and smiles up at him. "But I'm happy now."
"I’m... happy too... I did not expect this outcome at all... I thought I’d be alone if I did this, and you and Xingchen would move on or something... " Song Lan hugs Xue Yang tightly "I don’t think I would have... if you had... I’m sorry you felt so hopeless to make that kind of decision. I’ll do anything for you so you don’t ever feel so hopeless again. I mean it"
Xue Yang berries his face in Zichen's shoulder to hide the tears in his eyes. "I promise I'll talk to someone, I don't want to lose this again... ever again..."
"Don’t cry, this time the deal is between you and me, and I promise I won’t leave you. If you are honest with me I won’t ever leave." Song Lan wipes a tear on Xue Yang’s cheek with his thumb.
Xue Yang nods and leans in to kiss him again. "I will. No lies."
"No omission of truth either, and please remember to try to use an understandable emotional language to me if possible’ Song Lan laughed returning the kiss.
"I'll keep the word play to a minimum as well," Xue Yang promised with a smile as he moved himself on top of Song Lan.
"I like the way you over express yourself, just keep the important stuff simple and clear" Song Lan ran a hand up and down Xue Yang’s back.
He tries to hold back a shiver. "I will, but tell me if I'm too much though, if I go overboard with my words..."
"I’ll tell you... I promise, are you cold? Wait” Song Lan carefully untangles himself off of Xue Yang and takes the bed cover placing it over Xue Yang, then he slides underneath extending his arm for Xue Yang to climb back on top of him.
He lets out a fond laugh and climbs back on top of Song Lan. "I love you"
"I know. I love you too." Song Lan smiled, wrapping his arms back around Xue Yang.
He nestles on top of Song Lan. "If you want the new apartment painted just tell me... I haven't done anything in a while"
"I don’t mind if you want to, I have no idea about colors or art or anything... if it makes you feel more like home you can paint anything, just don’t paint the dog" Song Lan ran his fingers through. Xue Yang’s hair and placed a kiss on his forehead "you don’t have to ask for my permission, you can do anything you want sweetheart"
"Okay... I know... it's just it's your apartment and I don't want to accidentally ruin something you liked..."
"Oh yeah, the incredibly appealing plaster walls.... hahahahaha A-Yang, I chose the place because it's close to everything, and I like the balcony gazing at a park... if you are going to live with me, it should feel like your apartment too, you should have everything you want"
"Then it'll need some colour" Xue Yang grins. "I..." trails off and frowns. "The paints are still at... at the old apartment with my supplies...."
"If you don’t want to go there we can buy everything new... also there’s-2k of Amazon goods in my office, unpacked" Song Lan laughed "first get to know Bourne, make yourself comfortable and then you can get back to your work, just take it slow, one thing at a time"
He shakes his head. "I have half finished works and such, plus some of the tools were gifts... I need to get them, it's not the same if I buy new ones." He tilts his head to meet Song Lans eyes. "But youre right. Take it slowly first."
"Ok sweetie, I’ll go get all your stuff, though the new palace is way smaller... but I don’t need much space, you can make yours as you like" Song Lan checked the time on his phone. "Do you want to get some sleep and then we can order some dinner?"
"Sleep then dinner" Xue Yang agrees. "I don't mind what you order," he adds before Song Lan can ask. He kisses Zichen one more time before pulling the blanket tighter over them.
"Mhm we'll see later then but you know the food here so you can surprise me!" Song Lan wraps his arms tight around Xue Yang and then pecks his lips. "Get some rest now"
******
Xue Yang wakes to the smell of food. He lifts his head from the pillow and sits up. The door to the room is open and he watchs Song Lan unpack the food for a minute before he slips out of the bed and joins him.
"Hey! Did you not sleep much at the hospital? You fell asleep so quickly..." Song Lan handed him a pair of chopsticks and a can of soda that had been obviously ordered just for him.
"I did... might still be the end of the drugs they gave me..." he takes a sip of the soda. "I'm sure I'll be back to my normal terrible sleep schedule in a few days "
"Let’s hope the regularly terrible, not the terrible terrible" Song Lan took a sip of his bottle of water he had ordered different food for both of them. "That kfc was my last treat for a while. I signed up for some vegetarian cooking classes... since so much delivery isn’t not too helpful for my health goals... but you can eat whatever you want, let’s just try not to burn the house."
"Vegetarian?!" Xue Yang wrinkled his nose in disgust. "Disgusting. What about chicken and ham? Or chops? What are you going to do at Christmas?!"
"Veggie dumplings?? I'd just rather be clean conscious than tasty food... I just see food differently than you, I care more about the nutritional value than the taste itself, but like I said we should learn to cook stuff that you like too"
"Deserts." Xue Yang said instantly. "If you learn to cook I'll learn to bake - it can't be that hard can it? Follow the recipe and all that"
"Mn, I think the success of desserts it’s on how accurately you follow the recipe. Grandma has her own notebooks, and even if she cooks something many times she always checks the recipe, following instructions can’t be that hard right?"
"Right!" Xue Yang agreed. "If the recipe says something you do it - how do people mess up?"
"Maybe they get creative... or distracted, cooking takes some time" Song Land shrugged "are you done? Can I clean that up?" Song Lan takes their bowls and carefully picks everything to throw it in the plastic bag it came with, the trash. "I’m gonna take a shower, I’ll be back in a moment." He kisses Xue Yang’s cheek and then moves to the closet before heading to the bathroom.
Xue Yang moves back to the bedroom and spends the next while flicking through the tv channels finally stopping on a rerun of an episode of some show
Song Lang walks out 15 minutes later in underwear and a black t-shirt drying his hair with a towel. "Why don’t you get changed for the night A-Yang?’
Xue Yang stretches on the bed before peeling off his jeans and jumper and tossing them on the chair. "And... I'm ready."
Song Lan laughs "Very pragmatic Flash... so are you still sleepy or do you want to watch something? Flight’s at midday so we don’t have to get up too early." Song Lan walks around the bed stretching meticulously the cover over it, only when the bed looks as good as unused he slides under the sheets.
"We can watch something - any preference? Movie or drama?" Xue Yang slides under the covers and close to Song Lan.
"We can keep binging Star Trek where we left off... Just let me get into my Netflix account.." Song Lan took the remote setting the account. He wraps his other arm around Xue Yang's waist.
Xue Yang let's his head fall against Song Lan's shoulder with a smile. "Ah yes" he teases. "Lightsabers and jedis galore~"
Song Lan pinched his side startling Xue Yang. "New rule: in this household we respect sci-fi.”
"I have plenty of respect for it but your reactions are the best - especially when you thought I was serious." He leans across to kiss Zichen. "But I swear I really do actually know the difference."
"You better! Vast knowledge of Star Wars and Radiohead's discography are main requirements to date me sweetheart." Song Lan smiles kissing him back.
"I can live with that" Xue Yang agrees with a laugh as he leans against Song Lan. Within seconds the opening sequence is playing across the screen.
He snuggles in close to Zichen and…
He's happy.
He's with a man who loves him and he's going home tomorrow.
A pair of lips press to the Crown of his head and he smiles.
Home.