Chapter Text
For Harvey Kinkle, sometimes it felt like Greendale was just out to get him.
It had been 3 days since the Fright Club managed to save the world. Again.
But there had been so many moments where he honestly thought that none of them were gonna make it. But they did. Because they had each other.
Because they had Sabrina.
It burned, that familiar hollow pain he always felt in his chest whenever he thought of her. Right now, it reminded him like that time when his dad had forced him to taste scotch. The burn made it's way down, never feeling right.
In the end it just left him feeling empty, and broken.
He thought of everything that had happened in the past 3 days. It was easier to think of that, than to remember Blackwood, the time paradox, Sabrina's clone being queen of hell and the witch war.
It was easier to think of the last 3 days. Because they had been more normal. But somehow more painful.
Harvey and Roz had broken up.
They had been drifting almost from the beginning. Trying so hard to choose each other everyday, having more success when they had something to join up against. Like the idea that magic was too dangerous. Or her going blind. Or them trying to make the most of being teenagers, or even going up against the Pagans.
When they had something to fight against, together, things were great between them.
Their breakup had been like their relationship. Short and instant.
But the fact was, that they had broken up only after Harvey had seen Roz flirt with, and then make out with, one of the jocks by the bleachers after cheerleading practice right when he had come by to pick her up.
He had suggested the breakup.
Stupidly thinking she would fight against it. Fight for him. For them. For what they had.
Roz had looked surprised but also a little bit relieved.
There had been no fight.
Just him silently driving her home and after getting out of the car, her apologizing, oh so softly, for things not working out between them. And then promising that she would always be there for him. No matter what. Only as a friend.
He remembered saying "I know, Roz" and giving her a smile. A smile she returned but as soon as she walked into the house, he drove away and that smile disappeared.
What he had felt was closer to wounded pride than a broken heart. But his heart had still ached when he thought of someone he loved, because Roz had been someone he had always loved, ever since they became friends, hurting him and she hadn't even cared.
That was 3 days ago. He hadn't been able to sleep since then. Tomorrow he had to go back to school, face Roz. And Theo, who Roz had probably already told about the breakup. And Robin, he probably knew too. He wasn't sure Sabrina would be there. But most likely Roz already told her too.
Everything that had happened kept swirling around in his head. And it felt almost like his whole life in Greendale was just suffocating him.
Seeing Sabrina and Nick back together. Knowing that they had.. been together. The same way he and Roz had been together.
It hurt.
Since he found out what sex was, having been almost blushing the entire way through Sex-Ed class, he had thought about him and Sabrina. Fumbling away their virginity together. How many times had they made out on his bed after doing homework, and been so close to going through with it. But he had always pulled back. She had always looked a little disappointed but he knew neither of them were ready. The last thing he wanted was for either of them to regret it.
But here he was. Regretting it.
He had thought about Sabrina, just for a second, before he and Roz had slept together. That might of been what triggered her to have that vision. He had assured her that he had feelings for her. And he had.
But he couldn't admit it then, not even to himself, that he wished that he could of had his first time with Sabrina.
The truth was that he had been in love with Sabrina for so long that he didn't know who he even was if he wasn't.
It was just ingrained into his very being.
And that was the most pathetic fact about him.
And now, things were different. She was finally happy. With Nick. And Harvey would have to deal with seeing them together without having Roz by his side. He had nothing to distract him with. Not even his art worked.
But despite the fact that he was still in love with Sabrina, something he had been forced to admit to himself in the past 3 sleepless nights, it didn't change the fact that he also hated what she had done.
Hate is a strong word. But for what he was feeling, it felt right. He remembered the fight he had with Sabrina after things had finally settled down in Greendale. And after he had found out that Agatha and her sister Dorcas, had used magic to collapse the mines.
That Sabrina had been there, along with the witches, when he and Tommy had been dragged into the woods with their grandpa and their dad and basically forced to go hunting.
That Agatha and her sister had thought that Harvey and Tommy were witch hunters.
And that was why Tommy was now dead, because they wanted to kill them.
And the reason that Harvey had been the only one to survive was not just because Tommy had selflessly pushed him out of the way, but because Sabrina had put a spell on Harvey to protect him.
And when he thought things couldn't possibly get worse, he finds out about Sabrina's candle. The candle that she had used to make her forget her feelings for him.
That was the last straw.
Because that meant that what they had had, what made Sabrina come down from the roof that night instead of going through with revealing magic to mortals and fulfilling the prophecy, what had saved her, that what made him keep his promise to never hate her, all the moments they had shared, that had not been enough. At least not enough for her to want to remember.
Because she wanted things to be easier.
For her.
He had been to hell. Literally.
But after finding out the truth, he finally knew what it felt like to be in hell.
What had helped him get over what happened to Tommy was the fact that what Sabrina and he once had together had meant something. But Sabrina proved that it didn't, not to her. And that was the worst thing she could of ever done to him.
The thoughts were all painfully shouting at him inside his head. Too loud. Too many thoughts. It was so crowded.
He thought about revenge. Why should Agatha get to live when he lost Tommy twice?
He had already proven that he was willing to kill when he had to.
He thought then about Prudence. She already lost a sister. He felt sorry for her. Did she deserve to lose another one?
But then he had thought about Sabrina. Lying to him. Again.
He wasn't even surprised.
He had confronted her. They had a huge fight. They had both said things that cut deep, down to the bone. But things that both of them knew were true.
In the past 3 nights, instead of getting any sleep, the memories of what she had said to him had gone around and 'round in his head like a carousel.
It made him feel nauseous and dizzy.
It was worse with the hurtful things he had said to her.
He was so tired. He was tired of feeling angry. For his brother. For finding out that Sabrina lied to him yet again.
He was tired of feeling sad. Walking by Tommy's bedroom, remembering his brother always being there for him and the one time that Harvey had needed to be there for Tommy, he had failed. Not because he hadn't tried. But because he couldn't. He was no match against magic. No matter how hard he gripped that pick axe in his hands.
He knew that much. Sabrina had cemented it during their fight.
He could count on one hand how many times he and Sabrina had fought. It almost never happened, because no matter how stubborn they both were, they could listen to each other. Sabrina, who almost never listened to anyone except herself, proven by her time clone, always listened to him.
No matter what he said, she always heard him. He knew that. He had thought that it was proof that he had always been special to her.
Just like she would always be special to him.
And her words, no matter what she told him, always mattered. Her words always had the power to make him feel anything she wanted him to feel.
She could make him feel safe, strong, or loved.
Or during their fight, she had proven to be capable of making him feel pathetic, useless and not worth fighting for. Not worth trusting.
That stupid fight. Why had he thought it had been a good idea to have that stupid fight.
The things she had said to him was a thousand times worse than everything his dad had ever told him. Everything she had said had basically been carved into his soul.
That stupid fight had ended with her magic going a little haywire, making the fire roar in the fireplace, a magic wind picking up and some plates had been broken. And then he had said what he said. Those words he wished he could take back. And suddenly all the magic stopped. The fire went out and there was no wind. The only thing that could be heard was the lamp right above their heads gently swinging from side to side. The image of her tear filled stubborn and hurt eyes looking at him would forever be burned into his memories.
He hadn't been surprised when the magic wind had picked up during their fight. At the time he hadn't even noticed. He almost never noticed when she did magic. He had realized that it was probably because all those years with Sabrina, there had always been some lame excuse to cover up magic and she had practically groomed him to not notice.
He hated her for that.
And that was just one of the things he had told her during their fight.
He hadn't seen Sabrina after that. She hadn't come to see him.
He wasn't even sure what he was going to say when he saw her again.
The truth was he didn't want to see her.
Not tomorrow or the day after. Or ever again.
He was tired of Greendale. He was tired of his life here.
He was exhausted of having this town feel like a noose around his neck, tightening everyday but he still had to pretend that he was okay. To keep breathing and smiling.
To make people stop worrying about him. But he could never fool himself.
There was nothing left for him in Greendale.
He knew that.
His dad barely talks to him. His work in the mines is useless and he'll always be known as that kid with the dead brother.
And now he had messed things up with his friends. The two girls that he had chosen to love, were part of his small circle of friends, and now things were just in shambles because of him.
He took a break from staring sleeplessly at the ceiling and looked over at the picture of him with his brother. They were both smiling. Tommy's arm was around his shoulders. Making him feel safe. That was why Harvey was smiling in the picture. He was in the best place he could ever think to be. Right next to Tommy.
How he wished, more than ever, that it would of been him that died in the mines. Not Tommy.
Maybe things would of been better for everyone if he had.
Harvey stared at that picture, and remembered right after it had been taken, Tommy had told Harvey to get out of Greendale as soon as possible. To not waste his life.
That's what Harvey felt like he was doing. He was wasting his life here.
How many times did he have to almost die before he realized that?
Maybe it was because of the three nights of no sleep.
Or maybe it was because of the constant reminders at every corner of how miserable his life really was.
Maybe it had been that picture of him and his brother that he gripped in his hand so tightly the glass almost broke.
But for whatever reason, it happened. He poured a cup of black coffee down his throat, broke piggy banks and took everything inside, and grabbed the money he had found stashed in Tommy's room. It was all shoved into his pocket. A note was left for his dad on the kitchen table that started with the words "I'm sorry, dad" and before he knew it, he was at the gas station.
It was where he met Martha.
She was a good woman, always had been nice to both him and Tommy, and had been one of the first people to offer her condolences at the funeral.
She had seen him fill the truck and the gas cans. He had lied to her when he had told her that he was going out of town for a while. And then had asked her to check up on his dad while he was away. She had lit up and told him she would be more than happy to.
He always suspected that she had a crush on his dad. But he also knew that his dad was a stubborn man when it came to women.
Harvey's mom had been the only woman for him, he had told Harvey that once and then never spoke of her again.
But Harvey felt better knowing that he wasn't leaving his dad all alone.
He wasn't planning on coming back. But he had no idea where he was going.
Honestly Harvey half expected to cross the town line and feel some kind of regret. Fear. Maybe see an omen of some kind that would make him turn back around.
But that didn't happen. All he saw was the green "You are now leaving Greendale" sign become smaller and smaller in his rear view mirror as he kept on driving.
BEING REWRITTEN.