Chapter Text
I still remember certain moments like it happened only a day ago. But there are also the ones I have in my mind in bits and pieces alone- pieces that leave me with some aplomb that I can put it all in the past and forget. But, the thought of forgetting isn’t all that comforting for reasons my mind can’t comprehend yet.
Of the many things I do remember, one is the night we found him. It’s all so clear in my head. His long tanned face, bruised and red. Long golden strands sticking to his sweaty forehead and a careless looking beard, as golden as those strands, covering the lower part of his face. His skin, though rough with exposure, had been of a fine texture. The pain I felt on seeing him like that had been unreal. I’d told myself then that it was my doctor’s mind that caused this. Inspite of the incidents that have occurred since, I still believe so.
How would our lives be now, if we’d chosen to stick to our original plan? Left him to the mercy of the sea?
Would I be the same person I am today? I don’t know.
Did something inside me change after his stay with us? That too I’m not sure of.
How can we assess our changes when we are constantly with ourselves? Just the way parents don’t see their little ones grow up, we fail to see the changes we undergo over the course of time.
In fact, time is irrelevant if you’re always present. If we were immortal, time wouldn’t even matter.
When there’s always a tomorrow, we would never worry about what time it is today.
~
We’d taken him inside, after fighting our respective internal battles between conscience and what was supposed to be patriotism. I’d tended to his wounds on the beach itself and could see his state was rather pitiful.
Hana had decided to have Yumi get him cleaned up. I didn’t trust the maid . I’d wanted to do it myself. Only out of my wish to make sure everything was done perfectly.
She disagreed to clean him up, of course.
“I have never washed a white man and I will not wash so dirty a one now”,she’d said. The audacity of the woman had left Hana surprised and angry. She’d taken the task into her own hands.
Her independent nature is one I’ve always had high regard for.
Hana was always too simple and I found in that simplicity an unusual comfort. Her simplicity made things ordered and without any changes or surprises. She always had things under control. Wasn’t a worrying mess, constantly hurtling around when she had to get things done.
I did not like changes. I was fine with a monotonous life as long as it was immutable. This gives you a rather dry picture about my spirit and I must say I fully own up to it. I also like to believe we all have that resistance to change.
When every single atom that makes up our body has inertia and refuses to change then why won’t our body as a whole have it too? A life unchangeable with time sounds perfect to me.
That way I didn’t have to worry of tomorrow.
If tomorrow were to be the same as today, then why worry about it?