Work Text:
1.
Tooru is usually a very well-put-together child. He uses his words and his charm much more often than tears and tantrums to get what he wants. He has the most polite manners in his class and doesn't care that he gets teased about it, because he has his friend Iwa-chan there to stop the bullies if they get too mean.
When Tooru does throw a fit, it is always explosive.
Iwa-chan stands a few steps away from the Oikawa's porch, staring at Tooru, who is on the stoop bawling, with disgusted fascination. Tooru can hardly bring himself to breathe through his tears, much less care about what Iwa-chan thinks about him right now. Tooru just looks up at his mother as best he can through his swollen eyes.
"I...I don't wanna gooo..." Tooru stutters, gasping for air. "Why can't...Iwa-chan...come with?"
Tooru's mother sighs, turning her head to face Iwa-chan, who now just looks uncomfortable. "Sorry, Hajime-chan, Tooru is having a rough morning. Thank you for coming to say goodbye."
Tooru hates when his mother says that about him, but he hasn't stopped crying for the last hour straight, so he can see why she had reason to say it this time. Still.
She kneels down in front of Tooru, blocking his view of Iwa-chan. She places her hands on his shoulders, making him meet her eyes. "Tooru, darling. Take a deep breath. If you don't stop crying, you will not be able to say goodbye to Hajime-chan, will you?"
Those words, more than anything else that morning, makes Tooru want to stop. He takes in huffing gasps of air, trying to silence himself. He wipes a fist over his cheek, clearing the tears from his face halfheartedly. Tooru's mother gives him a gentle smile, patting him on the other cheek before standing up. But Tooru figures one last plea wouldn't hurt. "Why can't Iwa-chan come with, Mom? Grandma and Grandpa like Iwa-chan! They told me."
"Three weeks is a long vacation, Tooru," his mother says, for the hundredth time since he heard about this unexpected trip. "And Grandma's health is not very good, so we do not want to strain her any more than we already are. You will be able to spend time with Hajime-chan when we get back home. Now, I am going to go get the suitcases and make sure your father has everything else ready. You say goodbye to Hajime-chan."
With that, Tooru's mother walks back into the house, leaving Tooru and Iwa-chan standing face-to-face. Tooru sniffles, rubbing his fist across his face again.
"Your face is ugly when you cry," Iwa-chan says finally.
"Meanie," Tooru answers, but he is too miserable to say anything else on the matter.
Iwa-chan must know so, because he approaches slowly, reaching out his arms when he is in hugging distance. Tooru jumps into them quickly.
"Three weeks is too long," Tooru says, feeling the tears start brimming in his eyes again.
"You can call me," Iwa-chan says. "I'll probably just be catching bugs. I won't have any fun without you."
"Promise?" Tooru asks.
"Promise," Iwa-chan agrees solemnly, pulling away from Tooru's hug. Tooru smiles a small smile, the first one all day. "And besides, you'll come back eventually."
Tooru nods. Iwa-chan turns and waves as he walks down the sidewalk, three houses down from Tooru's.
"See? This isn't going to be so bad," Tooru's father says, elbowing him playfully before pulling him into a side hug. Tooru huffs, but leans into his father's side, scowling when his father ruffles his hand through Tooru's hair.
Tooru doesn't tell anyone, but the vacation really wasn't as bad as he thought. He had a lot of fun at his grandparents' house (he doesn't tell Iwa-chan that). But the best part is when he sees Iwa-chan running down the street as their car pulls into the driveway, and Tooru runs to greet him halfway.
2.
"Where even are you?" Iwaizumi's voice filters through Tooru's phone speaker, staticky and tinny. It's probably close to four in the morning. Tooru is sitting against the brick wall of the college that is hosting the leadership conference he had been invited to attend, cheeks red and nose running slightly from being outside for so long. He pulls his knees closer to his chest, thankful that he remembered to bring a blanket with him.
"Hidden," Tooru says softly. "I guess we should maybe get off the phone..."
Even to himself, his voice sounds reluctant. It isn't like he and Iwaizumi haven't been separated for longer than a weekend before. Last summer, Iwaizumi had gone hiking through Europe with his family. The summer before that, Tooru's father had decided that the Oikawas were going to bond while camping in the woods for two and a half weeks, much to Tooru's horror.
This separation just feels...different. As if they are at a crossroads, about to go completely divergent ways. They only have a handful of months left of high school and volleyball. Breaking his usual weekend routine of early practice, then messing around all day with Iwaizumi before crashing at his place on the spare futon that is practically Tooru's, has made everything feel closer, more immediate.
“Hmm,” Iwaizumi murmurs, but he doesn’t say goodbye and doesn’t hang up, so Tooru doesn’t either. He listens to the rustling of pages on the other side of the phone, admiring the way they sync up with the early morning musings of the wind through the leaves of the trees on campus. Iwaizumi is most likely studying English. Tooru closes his eyes and smiles, imagining Iwaizumi’s concentration face, his eyebrows creased, mouthing words and sentences silently to himself to help him retain what he is reading.
They have officially been dating for two months now, but to Tooru it feels much longer. Maybe because, once they had finally decided to take the plunge, hardly anything had had to change.
“Are you going to come say hi to me when I get home?” Tooru asks, laying his head on his knees. He is sleepy. He knows he should sneak back in and try to sleep for a little while, but he likes the haze of the early pre-dawn. Having Iwaizumi to admire it with him, even just on a phone call, makes it seem all the more magical.
“Sure. You want me to come pick you up from the school?”
Tooru sighs. “No, I’ll message you when I’m at home.”
The birds have started chirruping, greeting the new day. The grass is wet with dew. Tooru wonders if he will catch cold from staying outside all night. He can hardly bring himself to care.
“It’s really cool,” Iwaizumi says after another few minutes of languid silence. Tooru rouses himself out of his sleepy state to focus on Iwaizumi's words. “You being chosen to go to that leadership conference. That is not something a lot of people get to experience and I'm glad you decided to go.”
Iwaizumi clears his throat, going silent again. Tooru’s grip tightens on his legs and he opens his eyes. The sky is just turning gray, the first sign of a new day starting. Tooru should go to bed, get at least some sleep before his day starts for real. Their schedule is packed tight. He might be able to catch a nap after lunch, but he knows he should connect with people here, at least talk to some of the business owners and older students.
“I love you,” Tooru says without thinking, then freezes. He hears the whispering of Iwaizumi’s textbook pages stop. Tooru holds his breath. They have been dating two months, have been friends since childhood, and this is the first time either of them have said those words in any serious capacity.
“Yeah,” Iwaizumi says. Tooru wishes he could see Iwaizumi's face, mostly because he is sure Iwaizumi is beet red, but also because it is hard, over the phone, to know exactly what Iwaizumi is thinking, and that is something Tooru has always been good at. “Yeah, I love you too.”
Tooru releases his breath. It comes out louder and shakier than he thought it would. Iwaizumi must catch it, because he says, “Oi, did you think I didn’t?”
“No,” Tooru squeaks then coughs. He hears Iwaizumi chuckle softly. “No! It’s just hard being the first one to say it! I didn’t hear you saying it.”
“That’s true, but it doesn't mean I love you any less, you know. Anyway, get some sleep. See you in a few days. Kick ass, yeah?”
Tooru smiles. “I always do, Iwa-chan. Love you.”
“Love you too."
Tooru hangs up the phone. He groans softly as he stands up, his muscles cold and stiff from being in the same position for so long. He stretches up on his toes, lifts his arms over his head to get his muscles a little warm, before opening the door and sneaking back toward the dorm.
He slips into bed, relieved that he has gotten away with his much-too-long call, when he hears his roommate shift on the other side of the room. He holds his breath, but his roommate seems to fall back to sleep, because there is no other sound. Tooru huddles into the blanket and closes his eyes. He can't stop the smile from spreading across his face as he recalls his and Hajime's pointless, meandering conversation, remembering the way it sounded to hear Iwaizumi say yeah, I love you too, like a secret whispered into the dark.
3.
It has been a full week since Tooru has spoken to Iwaizumi. Now that volleyball is officially over, it is much easier to avoid him. Tooru knows that all of their friends are walking on eggshells around them, but he can't bring himself to care. Every time Tooru thinks about Iwaizumi's stoic face when he tells Tooru he's being immature, he wants to punch something.
What's immature about wanting to hang out with your boyfriend? What's immature about being nervous that he's going to go off to America and you'll never see him again? What's immature about the fact that Tooru is trying to fill the hole that was volleyball until he gets to officially play again, and that he wants to fill it with Iwaizumi, wants to be as unforgettable as possible so Iwaizumi doesn't find someone else to love more?
Okay. It's a little immature. But still. Iwaizumi has been acting weird too, as if he is already gone. He’s been messaging Tooru more than actually speaking to him, which for Iwaizumi is super abnormal. And his answers when Tooru actually gets to talk to him in person are always clipped and irritated, so much so that Tooru had finally confronted him about it, just to get you’re being immature. Please. Tooru is immature about a lot of things but not about serious aspects in their relationship, and communication is a damn serious thing.
Tooru knows he needs to talk to Iwaizumi, whether it be dropping in on him unexpectedly or calling him or even sending a message to see how he felt about the whole argument. But every time Tooru thinks about reaching out, he gets angry, and then frustrated, and then a little scared, before finally just pushing it all to the side to watch a new volleyball match. Just because he isn't playing at the moment doesn't mean that he can let himself get rusty. He'll have a new team soon, with new people relying on him. He won't let them down.
As the second Iwaizumi-less week rolls around, Tooru feels less like himself than he ever has. It isn't that he needs Iwaizumi to complete him, to make him a full person or any such nonsense like that. It's that, first of all, he doesn't like people angry at him. It makes him feel physically ill, like he's eaten stones and they are sitting in his stomach, constant reminders of his worry and guilt.
Secondly, this is Iwa-chan. His best friend. His boyfriend. Even if they hadn't been dating, this is a relationship Tooru has taken care to foster since he was small, one of the only ones that stuck. To think that now all of his fears are about to be realized, that he would lose his most important friendship because he was selfish enough to want more, makes him so scared he can't think about it too long or it becomes an obsession he can't get rid of unless physically pulled out of it.
And in the back of his mind, Tooru knows. That this is it. That this argument was just the catalyst for the talk that he and Iwaizumi had to have soon anyway. That their relationship has to change, now that both he and Iwaizumi have bigger plans. He knows what Iwaizumi is going to say about it, what he has been working up to tell Tooru for the last month. Tooru has just pretended for a month that everything is fine, but really, he knows what this outcome is going to be.
In the end, he runs into Iwaizumi by accident.
Tooru's parents are out of town on a quick trip to visit relatives, so Tooru had decided to go to the convenience store down the street from his house to stock up on junk to get him through the weekend. He is planning on nursing his broken heart, coming up with a plan, and confronting Iwaizumi early next week with all the reasons why a long-distance relationship would be the best thing for them.
He is so focused on his thoughts and situating his bags on his arms so they are comfortable, that he doesn't even notice someone walking through the door until he barrels into them.
Mortified, Tooru begins apologizing, but the apology freezes on his lips when he finally realizes who it is he has almost knocked over. The skin on his arm is burning where Iwaizumi still has a grip on it to steady him. Iwaizumi has a complicated expression on his face, as if he wants to say something but is refraining.
Actually, that's probably exactly what he is doing.
Tooru pulls away, viciously adjusting the bags on his arms, focusing solely on making them perfect. "Hi! I didn't think you would be home so early! You hardly ever come to this store."
"You don't either, but I saw you through the window," Iwaizumi points out, letting his hand drop to his side. Tooru feels his mask crumbling quickly, so he decides to end this horribly awkward run-in right then. Before he can wish Iwaizumi farewell, Iwaizumi says, "Are your parents gone?"
"Huh?" Tooru is so surprised by the question that he glances into Iwaizumi's face. Iwaizumi is looking back calmly. He shrugs when he notices he finally has Tooru's undivided attention, waiting for Tooru to answer his question.
Tooru swallows. "Oh, yeah, they'll be back Sunday night, so it's not a big deal..."
Iwaizumi reaches out, brushes his hand along Tooru's arm again. Tooru stiffens, then instantly regrets it when Iwaizumi pulls his hand away quickly, as if remembering that they are fighting. "Listen, Tooru, we need to talk. Can I help you with the bags?"
Tooru nods, his already battered heart breaking further. He allows Iwaizumi to take half the bags and follows him out the door, down the street to Tooru's house.
When they get there, Iwaizumi silently helps Tooru put away his groceries. Tooru is torn between starting the conversation and getting it over with, or pretending that they're still fine, that their argument didn't happen and they can just keep pretending, like this, that they do not have to have a conversation about how a long-distance relationship won't work between them.
It's Iwaizumi who speaks first. "Listen, I'm sorry for what I said last week. I said some things that were pretty harsh, and I didn't mean them."
Tooru runs his fingers along the counter. He swallows. He has so many things he wants to say. In the end, what comes out is, "I'm just so nervous."
When Iwaizumi offers his arms, Tooru leans into them. This doesn't feel like making up; this feels like letting go. Tooru speaks into Hajime's shoulder. "We're graduating so soon. We both have such different plans. I think...I think I know what has to happen, but I'm just so scared of everything changing."
Tooru doesn't say that he's also scared because he knows what Iwaizumi needs. If it were up to Tooru, the two of them would have the best long-distance relationship to ever have existed, always talking and messaging and sending cute gifts and letters. Tooru thrives at maintaining relationships with people, regardless of how that has to happen. But Tooru knows that's not Iwaizumi. Everyone always thinks that it is Tooru who needs the physical affection and intimacy that comes with their relationship. It's true that he loves it, but Iwaizumi is the one that needs it the most. Tooru has always known this. And now, he knows he has to let it go.
Iwaizumi tilts Tooru's head up, kisses him softly on the mouth. Tooru sighs when they break away. "You're always going to be the greatest partner I could ask for," Iwaizumi murmurs, brushing his fingers across Tooru's hairline, tucking some of the stray strands behind his ear. "I just think that for now, maybe it's better to remind ourselves what our friendship really means, before we leave each other and have to navigate through a long-distance relationship as well. This isn't to say that I love you any less..."
"But our argument clearly proves that we're both not being very mature about this," Tooru says with a wry smile, which Iwaizumi reciprocates. Tooru tucks his head back in its usual spot on Iwaizumi shoulder. They stand there for a while, the only sound the ticking of the clock above the counter and the hum of the refrigerator.
"Just so you know," Tooru finally says, "no matter what, you will always feel like coming home. Maybe, in five years or so, we can see where life has led us and decide whether or not being together is the best thing. No obligations to each other until then except as best friends, right? That means you can't get jealous when I show off my dates to you."
"Yeah. Yeah that sounds good. Thanks for...for always knowing what I need, I guess." Tooru watches Iwaizumi blink his eyes rapidly a few times, and Tooru feels quite proud of himself for not making any comment about the fact that he's tearing up. Besides, Tooru knows that when Iwaizumi leaves later, Tooru will probably cry all night. Iwaizumi must see it, however, because he scowls. "Don't you dare..."
Tooru holds up his hands, expression innocent. "I would never, Iwa-chan. Don't you know me at all? Now, I'll set up a movie if you get dinner going..."
Iwaizumi rolls his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, whatever. Some things never change, like your aversion to actual work."
"And if anyone asks," Tooru says sternly, "I broke up with you first. I have to maintain some dignity."
Iwaizumi smirks. "I'm fine with everyone thinking you're an asshole."
Tooru sticks his tongue out before turning away. He can't keep the grin off of his face as he leaves the kitchen, because Iwaizumi is right. Some things never change, even if the circumstances around them have to.
4.
Tooru stands on the curb at the airport. He has three suitcases around him, two to be checked and one to carry on. This is his whole life, at his feet, going 18,000 kilometers away from the only place he has ever called home.
Iwaizumi stands awkwardly, hands in his pockets. Tooru's family is inside, waiting for him. His mother probably won't leave his side until he walks through security, so he is grateful that he got at least this little time alone with Iwaizumi.
"Well," Tooru finally says with a shrug. "I guess this is goodbye."
Iwaizumi nods. He glances away, scuffing his foot on the sidewalk once before pulling his hands out of his pockets and reaching his arms out to the side. Tooru wraps his arms around Iwaizumi's waist, feeling Iwaizumi secure Tooru in his embrace. He breathes in Iwaizumi's scent, the most familiar one in the world, bar soap and cheap deodorant and a citrusy cologne that Tooru had gifted him in first year, and he hadn't changed brands since. Tooru closes his eyes tight, wills his tears away, then stands straight.
"You know," Tooru says, voice more cheerful than he feels, "even though you're so far away, I'm still going to share all my adventures with you."
Iwaizumi finally gives him a small smile. "Yeah. It's pretty awesome that we're both going to explore other parts of the world for awhile. I know you're going to do great in Argentina."
"And you're going to be amazing in America! You've studied so hard, you totally deserve this, Iwa-chan!"
Tooru feels pretty proud of himself when he sees Iwaizumi's cheeks turn red from his praise. He gives Iwaizumi one last hug, kissing him on the cheek before pulling away. "I can't believe everyone left me out here with all my stuff."
Iwaizumi laughs. Tooru grins softly, relieved that Iwaizumi is finally loosening up, back to his normal self. "You'll have to manage it when you land. This is just practice. Now go before your mother comes to see what's keeping you."
Tooru sticks out his tongue, but he balances all three bags, and walks into the airport. Before the doors close, he turns, waving one more time to Iwaizumi, who waves back with a grin.
Tooru's mother walks up to him, relieving him of one of his suitcases. "Iwaizumi's leaving next week isn't he? I can't believe you boys are all grown up and leaving the country! I remember like it was just yesterday, you bawling because Hajime couldn't come with us on vacation."
Tooru rolls his eyes, but he feels his neck grow hot. "C'mon Mom, please. I'm a little more mature than that."
"Just a little," she agreed, ignoring Tooru's pout. "Now, are you sure you packed enough winter clothes?"
5.
Tooru wakes up warm. He blinks his eyes open, confused when he sees a broad expanse of skin in front of him. It takes him a moment to remember where he is. California. America. With Iwaizumi--Hajime, Tooru reminds himself, who had just graduated.
In his half asleep state, Tooru reaches out, pressing his hand flat against the middle of Iwaizumi's--Hajime's--back. His skin is warm and tight across his muscles. Tooru traces meaningless patterns on Hajime's skin until he stirs, turning to peek around his shoulder, green eyes soft and half-lidded. Instead of dropping his hand, Tooru reaches across Hajime's waist, resting his hand on Hajime's chest and his head where his hand had been moments before on Hajime's back.
"Morning," Hajime whispers. Tooru smiles as he feels the rumbling of Hajime's voice through his back.
"Morning, college grad," Tooru sing-songs softly, nuzzling his nose against Hajime's skin. Hajime reaches up and laces his fingers with Tooru's. Tooru feels Hajime kiss his knuckles one by one.
"Are you ever going to drop that?" Hajime asks after a few moments, turning to face Tooru properly. Tooru shakes his head, pressing himself back against Hajime and stealing his lips in a long, languid kiss.
He really hadn't expected them to fall into bed together with his visit being less than 24 hours, but here they were. And it felt...amazing. Like Tooru had finally released a breath he had been holding for four long years, a feeling similar to the one he had had when he visited home for the first time.
Hajime and Tooru hadn't paused their lives waiting for each other. Tooru had had two steady girlfriends and a boyfriend. Hajime had had a few boyfriends before settling down with one for two and a half years. Tooru had thought he might marry him from the way Hajime talked, until Hajime told Tooru they had decided to go their separate ways, saying that they had career ambitions that weren't lining up. Since then, neither Tooru nor Hajime had been in serious relationships for almost a year. Maybe that was why it was so easy to pick up where they had left off so long ago. But for Tooru, however, this just felt different than any of his other relationships. As if the two of them were always bound to be together.
The sun has risen well into the sky by the time they break away from each other, Tooru's stomach complaining so loudly for food they can't ignore it anymore. "It's not my fault my diet is so tragic right now," Tooru pouts when Hajime points it out with a grin.
It's all so terribly domestic, Tooru thinks as he grabs the plates from the cupboard above counter, setting them next to Hajime, who is cooking at the stove, before grabbing the only two mugs Hajime has in the apartment and finishing the tea.
They have just sat down at the table when Tooru's phone chimes. He puts it on silent, turn it upside down, and digs into his food, chattering about his upcoming season. He doesn't notice that Hajime is barely picking at his meal until he looks back up. Tooru's voice drops away mid-sentence.
"What time does your flight leave?" Hajime asks.
Tooru swallows, his food suddenly tasting like dirt. He grips his fork tightly, blinks his eyes quickly, doesn't look away from the speck of lint on the edge of the table. He wonders if Hajime does his laundry here instead of on the couch or his bed. "Two."
Hajime doesn't say anything. Tooru finally rouses himself, scooping up a small bite of food. He looks at Hajime, who is staring at him, those piercing green eyes so gentle and loving and, god. Tooru doesn't want to go.
As if reading his mind, Hajime says, "Hey. Now that I'll be back in Japan, it will be easier for you to visit, you know? And I've always wondered about your life in Argentina. Maybe we can figure out the best time for me to stop in. Hey, Tooru, are you okay?"
Tooru reaches up, brushing away a few of the tears that have leaked out of his eyes. He hadn't ever cried about this. Not when they broke up, not when he left for Argentina the first time, not even when he and Hajime had met at the airport in Tokyo after so much painstaking planning and Hajime had told him about how serious his relationship was.
But now. Now that he has to leave it again.
"I'm fine," Tooru lies, grabbing his napkin and wiping the rest of his tears away. "I just miss you so much."
"We promised each other five years," Hajime says softly. He reaches across the table, placing his hand on Tooru's arm. "What's one more now?"
Tooru glances up at him. "You remember that?"
Hajime kicks him lightly under the table. "Of course I remember."
Tooru gives him a wobbly smile. "I'm just so nervous that you'll find someone better than me. Especially after...this. Before, I think I would have gotten over it. But having this tiny moment together? It's made me realize how much I want it. Forever."
Hajime hums, sitting back in his chair, crossing his arms. He studies Tooru's face with those sharp green eyes. Hajime has grown a little leaner since Tooru had last seen him, but his eyes are still open and friendly and everything Tooru remembers them being. "I thought I'd found him. We worked really well together, Kaito and I. But when it came time to decide what to do, I found that I would rather pursue my own career over following him to San Francisco. I realized, too, that if it were you I had been talking to, I probably would have followed you anywhere. And that's when I knew that maybe, if I still had a shot, I'd want to make it with you."
Tooru stares at Hajime. Hajime gives him a crooked, embarrassed smile. Hajime doesn't talk about his feelings a lot. Hearing the echo of how Tooru feels himself is so gratifying and so relieving he almost starts crying again. "One more year?"
Hajime nods, determined. "One more year, Tooru. And then we can decide what to do. Together."
"Together," Tooru agrees. The word plays through his head as they pack up Tooru's tiny carry on, as he gives Hajime his parting kiss, when he waves at him through security. They will figure this out together.
+1
Tooru adjusts his tie, then runs his hands through his hair before staring at himself with a critical eye. He wonders if the tie is overkill, but Hajime had told him to dress nice.
It's been a little over two years since Hajime had graduated. They've been together almost a year now, doing the long-distance thing and it's fine, but not ideal. Supposedly, it’s Tooru's last day in town. But after spending two solid weeks with Hajime in Tokyo, Tooru knows exactly what path he wants to pursue.
There’s a knock on the door. Tooru grins to himself in the mirror, takes a deep breath, checks his pocket. It feels like this is his first date with Hajime all over again, even though it clearly is not.
When he opens the door, Hajime is standing there in a deep red dress shirt and tie, so Tooru is glad that he opted for one himself. He looks so good, clean-shaven, his normally spiked hair a little tamer than usual. The shirt complements his skin tone and makes his eyes pop. He looks a little nervous, but when Tooru smiles at him, he gives a small, crooked smile back. Tooru’s heart beats fast in anticipation. “Hi, Iwa-chan! Ready to go?”
“Yeah,” Hajime says. As Tooru passes, Hajime pulls him into a hug, kissing his cheek quickly. “You look nice.”
Tooru smiles, feeling his cheeks heat up. He knows Hajime likes the way he looks, but they’re not in the habit of complimenting each other except in the heat of the moment, so when it happens, Tooru always feels a little awkward and always warm with affection. “Where are we going, Iwa-chan? Or did you just want an excuse to see me all dolled up?”
Hajime smirks. “Looks like you caught me. Let’s go eat, see where the night leads.”
Tooru bites his lip to stop his laugh. “So smooth, Iwa-chan. Lead the way, love.”
It’s nice, being officially in a relationship with Hajime. He knows now he wasn’t ready for it at seventeen. He’s barely ready for it now. But having years of living on his own has given him new perspective. He wants this. He wants to make this work.
Ever since his time in America, Hajime has taken to driving. He’d liked it before, but now they hardly go anywhere by train. Tooru can’t complain. He likes the privacy a vehicle can offer them.
They pull into a pretty fancy restaurant that Tooru hasn’t eaten at before. He’s once again grateful that he decided to go for the tie.
They settle into their table and put in their drink orders. Hajime hasn’t stopped looking at Tooru, which makes him feel slightly self-conscious. “What?” he finally asks.
Hajime shrugs. “What do you mean?”
“I mean,” Tooru says, lacing his fingers together and resting his chin on them, elbows on the table be damned, “Why do you keep looking at me?”
Hajime fiddles with his napkin, glancing away. “I’m always looking at you.”
Tooru cocks his head, watching as Hajime calms himself and forces himself to look back at Tooru through his embarrassment. Tooru can’t believe how much he loves him.
The waiter come back to take their order before either of them can speak. Tooru allows Hajime to change the subject to something lighter until their meal arrives and they're both occupied with their food.
As the meal draws to a close, Tooru takes a deep breath, working up the courage to tell Hajime his surprise. But as he is about to start speaking, Hajime sits up straight, clearing his throat. Tooru snaps his mouth closed, eyes widening.
"So, I know you're leaving. And we haven't really talked about...you know, anything permanent, so this doesn't have to...be, like, an official engagement or anything."
Tooru's mouth literally falls open as Hajime, hands shaking, places a ring box on the table. Hajime pulls his own hands away quickly. Tooru can imagine him holding them tightly together in his lap, the skin turning white in his grip. Hajime continues talking, his voice becoming shakier. "I just...every time you leave, I hold my breath, waiting to see what will happen next. It's the biggest reason why I didn't want to do this when we were both leaving the first time. I understand, if you want to think about it, or if you aren't comfortable with it, but, like, knowing you have a physical reminder of our relationship just...helps me."
Tooru reaches out, grabs the ring box. He holds his breath as he opens it. It's a simple tungsten ring, light gray with a rose gold plating. He pulls it out, admiring it in the soft light of the restaurant. "Hajime," he whispers, looking back up at him. Hajime still looks so embarrassed, and if Tooru were any less shocked, he would probably tease him about it. But for now, he just holds out the ring out to Hajime, who looks at him in confusion. "You have to put it on me, you know. Because yes, this is an official engagement and my answer is yes."
The relief on Hajime's face is so apparent, Tooru can't help the laugh that bubbles up his throat. Hajime doesn't even scold him, just grins as he takes the ring, his fingers still shaking, and slips it onto Tooru's ring finger. They have gathered a little bit of an audience, but neither of them are paying enough attention to notice. Tooru admires it again, the way it fits just right. "How did you know my ring size?"
Hajime shrugged. "I asked Mina-san," he said, referring to Tooru's older sister.
"I have a surprise for you, too," Tooru says, pulling out the envelope he had placed in his pocket first thing after getting dressed. He hands it over to Hajime. "I think it's fitting, how in tune we are with each other all the time."
Hajime's brow furrows as he pulls a plane ticket out of the envelope. "What...?" he asks. "This is your flight information for tomorrow."
Tooru nods. "I talked to your work. They said that if you put in the time in the morning, you can take it off. I'm moving back here, Hajime! I've been looking at transferring for close to a year now. I finally got everything finalized, so I thought I would surprise you. But now you've gone ahead and stolen my thunder."
"It's about time someone does," Hajime says, his voice still slightly awed. "You want me to go back to Argentina with you?"
Tooru nodded. "You kept talking about it, and now that I'm leaving, we probably won't go back for awhile. And now I can introduce you to everyone as my fiancé!" Tooru looks down at the ring again, surprised by how comforting the weight on his finger was. It's then that the waiter comes back to the table, offering his congratulations. Tooru grins broadly as Hajime's face turns red with embarrassment. Hajime finally stutters out, "Can we get the check please?" and Tooru laughs softly, kicking him under the table.
When they get to the car, Tooru stops Hajime, pulling him into a hug, kissing him like he's wanted to since he saw the ring box.
"I love you, Hajime, so much."
"I love you too," Hajime says, his arms still firmly around Tooru. "It's kind of thrilling, knowing you're coming back to stay this time. You always come back eventually, but still..."
"It's really nice to stay," Tooru says.