Chapter Text
Chenle isn’t dumb. He knows what’s happening with him, he knows what it means when he looks at Jisung and gets the familiar tingles in his stomach. This is a crush, Chenle doesn’t know how serious it is yet but he knows that this shouldn’t happen. He shouldn’t crush on Park Jisung and more importantly, despite his crush he should still be able to enjoy a nice hookup with a nice girl.
His problem? Yesterday Chenle went out with Donghyuck (bad idea). They started their evening with tequila shots (an even worse idea), danced on the dancefloor (a slightly better idea) and by the end of the night Chenle went home together with a beautiful girl. They made out (good), he took off her shirt (good) and then he stared at her boobs for about five minutes. Five minutes and not even a spark of joy! Chenle excused himself, offered his hookup a glass of water and then walked her home.
He ruined me, Chenle thinks. Boobs are awesome, he absolutely loves a nice pair of tits but there is no fun in playing with boobs when all he can think about is Jisung‘s toned chest.
„I‘m ruined“, he says and Renjun looks up from where he’s painting. Chenle still can’t believe Jisung would unknowingly take something so dear to him away: the joy of boobs.
„Is this about the stupid prank you pulled on Mark yesterday?“, Renjun asks and shoots him a weirded out gaze. It’s not about the prank on Mark (Chenle swapped his peanut butter and jelly sandwich for one with peanut butter and sriracha sauce) but he wishes it was.
He shakes his head. „I’m having a crisis“, Chenle explains while thinking about boobs. No, not even a tiny bit of arousal, what the fuck, boobs are great! What’s wrong with him?
„Alright“, Renjun quickly packs his brushes and acrylics into his art supplies box and stands up.
„What are you doing?“, Chenle asks, briefly distracted from his current dilemma.
„I’m packing my stuff because I don’t want to deal with your crisis“, Renjun says and picks his half finished painting up.
„You’re supposed to help me!“, Chenle calls out in disbelief. „Be a good friend and stuff, you know. Doing this thing where you intuitively feel what’s wrong and call me out on it“.
Renjun sighs and for a brief moment it looks like he considers just walking out on him. He doesn’t, instead he pulls his chair back and takes a seat again.
„What’s wrong, Chenle?“, he asks with less enthusiasm than he hoped for. „I must warn you though. If you’re going to have a breakdown make it quick, I‘m meeting Jeno in an hour at the gym“.
Chenle takes a deep breath. „I was robbed!“, he exclaims and slams his hands down on the table.
„And what were you robbed of?“, Renjun rolls his eyes at his theatrical antics.
„My unconditional love for boobs!“
„Right, I‘m leaving“
„No wait“, Chenle grabs his arm and quickly lets it go again after a murderous glare by Renjun. „This is serious“.
„I remember that we had this exact conversation a few years ago“.
Damn it, Renjun is right but Chenle has those memories stored in the very last corner of his brain because it’s impossible for him to forget about it but he doesn’t like to remember that year.
„I don’t know what you’re talking about“, he lies through gritted teeth.
„Oh really?“, Renjun‘s smile is dangerously sweet. „Let me help you then. Lee Felix, does that ring a bell?“
It does, it’s a fucking alarm bell that’s ringing and Chenle bites his lip because he can’t really deny Renjun‘s question.
„No? I‘ll elaborate: You and me in our usual coffee shop, me trying to finish my geography project in time, you whining about the cute australian exchange student and how he ruined you because- and I want you to know that I’m quoting you- ‚I can’t stop thinking about his adorable freckles, Renjun. Wherever I look, suddenly nobody compares to him anymore, I can’t even find it in myself to appreciate boobs, I‘m ruined‘, those were your words. So I’m going to tell you what I told you back then: shut up and stop bothering me, it’s just a crush, that doesn’t make you any less bisexual“.
„I don’t think I like this conversation“, Chenle mutters.
They don’t talk about Lee Felix, ever. It’s an unspoken rule between the five of them, just like they don’t speak about Halloween 2014 or the hedgehog-incident. Or well, Jeno, Jaemin, Donghyuk and Chenle don’t talk about Lee Felix because Renjun was never afraid to call Chenle out.
Chenle knows it’s stupid but he still isn’t really over his ex boyfriend. It’s been more than three years and it was a first love anyways (the first love always hurts the worst).
Lee Felix with cute freckles and plush lips, Lee Felix with his dark, promising voice, Lee Felix with his bright eyes and an even brighter smile. Lee Felix who is at the other side of the world and who never answered any of Chenle’s texts, who never picked up any of Chenle’s calls.
___
The story of Zhong Chenle and Lee Felix goes like this:
It’s the last year of school and over the summer, everyone has grown up a little more. Jaemin finally got rid of his braces, Donghyuk got rid of his chubby cheeks, Jeno got rid of his lanky spaghetti-arms and Renjun got rid of his ridiculous voice breaks. Chenle himself didn’t really get rid of anything but he grew a little and his facial features became a bit sharper but that was it.
The first day of school is always a bit chaotic, new schedules, new faces, new classroom and new teachers. Donghyuk and Renjun managed to show up to art class half an hour late because Donghyuk accidentally locked himself up in a restroom stall, Jaemin completely forgot to bring his entire school bag and Jeno dropped all of his books in one of the busy hallways in between first and second period.
In fifth period they had chemistry class and Chenle got Lee Felix as his lab partner assigned. Lee Felix, who was an exchange student from Australia and Chenle fell immediately for his bright personality and his pretty smile.
As a result, he got an instant gay panic attack in the middle of class. He knocked over their experiment and got both of their notes drenched in thankfully only water, but it had gotten him a scolding from their teacher and even worse made him a blushing, stuttering mess in front of Lee Felix, who had laughed his gorgeous laugh and helped him clean up.
He invited Lee Felix to sit with them for lunch and they got to know each other a little more. Chenle found out that Felix was staying with his grandmother for the time of his exchange year, that he loved swimming and rice cake but couldn’t eat spicy food, that he had the habit to bite his stunning, full lips and that he liked to listen to Ariana Grande.
By the end of the break, Chenle was sure that he had a crush on Lee Felix.
The following weeks were a disaster. Chenle kept making a fool of himself in chemistry class and Lee Felix kept being the charming cause for his little accidents. Admitting to have a crush on Lee Felix was easy, admitting to have a crush on a boy not so much (not because Chenle was ashamed but because he thought that maybe that made him less of a bisexual, since he completely lost all interest in women).
In the end, Renjun lost it over Chenle’s constant whining and set him an ultimatum to ask his labpartner out, or he would do it in Chenle‘s name. So he did, and Lee Felix smiled his prettiest smile and scribbled his number on Chenle’s arm with a „I thought you‘d never ask“.
From then on, it was all easy. They went to the arcade for their first date and then to the swimming pool for their second one and Lee Felix kissed Zhong Chenle in the afternoon sun in the parking lot, with wet hair from the pool and warm skin from the sun.
The next day, Lee Felix showed up to school holding Chenle’s hand and nobody was surprised.
Being with Felix was easy, loving Felix even easier and kissing Felix Chenle’s favorite thing to do. They shared it all: their chaotic energy, their love for pancakes, their enthusiasm for video games, their first kiss, their first time, their first month anniversary. They spend countless nights playing games and watching cheesy films, spend hours upon hours kissing each other, spend their weekends at the pool and when the water became too cold for swimming, they moved over to the ice rink. Felix saw snow for the first time in his life and Chenle taught him how to build a snowman over Christmas break and Felix joined Chenle and his parents on their annual skiing trip (despite falling a hundred times a day into the wet, cold snow, because Felix couldn’t ski at all). They spend spring break together and they went camping on Easter, they whooped their finals and then, when Chenle was already making plans for countless bonfires at the river, for nights that they could spend stargazing in the soft grass, when Chenle was already thinking about taking Felix with him to China for his cousin‘s wedding, when Chenle had already bought a gift for their first anniversary, Lee Felix kissed the top of his nose and broke his heart.
Because Lee Felix went back to Australia, three months earlier than Chenle expected.
So Chenle watched with tears in his eyes how Lee Felix packed his things, he held his small, cute hands until Lee Felix let go of him when they arrived at the gate and he waved back when Lee Felix turned back one last time to lock his eyes with Chenle one last time.
And then Lee Felix was gone.
And Zhong Chenle was heartbroken.
„What‘s wrong, kid?“, Donghyuk asks and effectively pulls Chenle back to reality. „I don’t like this look on your face“.
Chenle looks back at Donghyuk. They haven‘t seen him in three days but that’s okay. Sometimes Donghyuk needs to do his own thing because Donghyuk needs more than the monotony of their everyday life. Sometimes, Donghyuk needs to get away from them, so sometimes, Donghyuk goes on an adventure. There’s no need to worry though, Donghyuk always comes back (just like now in the middle of the night) and Donghyuk knows how to take care of himself (except this one time when Mark got a call from him in the middle of the night because Donghyuk woke up in a hotel room in Paris, naked and confused).
Donghyuk looks like he always does, when he comes back from one of his adventures. His hair is a mess, there’s glitter in places where glitter shouldn’t be, his makeup is smudged and he’s missing a sock.
„What happened?“, Chenle asks even though he already knows that it’s unlikely that he’s going to get an answer.
Donghyuk shrugs. „Long story“, he sighs and plops down on the floor next to Chenle. He smells like smoke, sweat and adventure. Chenle thinks Donghyuk is like a paradise bird in between a bunch of pigeons: A bit too fancy, a bit too colorful, a bit over the top and a bit too lonely but with a pure heart.
„Okay“, Chenle takes a sip from his tea. It’s cold because he spent too much time thinking about Lee Felix. Again.
„I know this look in your eyes“, Donghyuk says and places his head in Chenle‘s lap. „You’re sad“, he states. Sometimes Chenle forgets just how well Donghyuk knows his pigeons.
„I don’t want to talk about it“, Chenle picks a feather from Donghyuk‘s hair. It’s pink and soft and doesn’t belong to a bird from the city.
For a brief moment, none of them says a word. Donghyuk has his eyes closed and maybe he’s already asleep.
„You need to get over him“, he mutters, not even opening his eyes.
Chenle knows. He’s trying.
___
„I think I’m not gay“, Jeno says randomly while they’re watching a movie. There was absolutely no reason for him to say that, and Chenle wonders how long exactly Jeno had been spacing out, not paying any attention to the latest James Bond Donghyuk convinced them to watch.
„Oh no, how are we going to tell Jaemin“, Renjun sarcastically mutters and rolls his eyes, before focusing back onto the screen.
„I‘m right here, asshole!“
„I mean I‘m still in love with Jaemin, of course“, Jeno assures and it takes a lot for Chenle to stop his eyes from rolling. Ever since Jeno and Jaemin finally realized that they are very much in love they’ve become one of those disgustingly happy couples. „It’s just- as long as I can think I‘ve been in love with Jaemin-“, Jeno begins to elaborate but Donghyuk interrupts him.
„Sounds boring“, he snorts and Chenle adds a just like your stupid James Bond in his thoughts.
„How am I supposed to know if I‘m maybe bi or something?“, Jeno asks.
None of them says anything upon that and Chenle thinks that Jeno might have a point. After all, even Chenle himself thought for the longest time that Jeno was straight (and who can blame him, Jeno is just the stereotypical straight guy, he’s into cars and sports and Chenle totally caught him staring at their hot substitute teacher’s breasts in eighth grade).
„Who cares?“, Donghyuk throws in, either to break the silence or just to annoy Jeno (maybe both, Chenle thinks). „It’s just a label…“
And oh, Chenle knows from first hand experience that it’s not. Yes, it shouldn’t be important and yet Chenle absolutely hates to think back about the time when he wasn’t sure of his sexuality himself. He had been so lost, confused about what was going on, struggling to find answers. It was a relief to finally know that he wasn’t alone with those thoughts, that there were plenty of other people who were the same as him, that there was a word for how he was feeling. And Chenle remembers that it felt so good to finally be able to tell his friends why he was acting strange.
(„I‘m bisexual“, he said the day after he found out himself, slamming his tay onto the dirty table of the cafeteria.
„You want to fuck bees?!“, Jeno had called out in horror, finally looking up from his English textbook and Chenle never regretted more that he befriended the four dumbest students of the school.
„We shouldn’t fuck bees, we should safe them“, Donghyuk had considered, sending him an offended gaze and showing off his ‚safe the bees‘ pin.
Chenle had been about to explain that no, he did not want to fuck bees, what the hell, when Renjun spoke up, the arguably only other one in their friend group who had more than three braincells and acutallly used them from time to time.
„No, he said he’s bi, you idiots“, Renjun explained. „That means he’s into both, men and women“.
„Thank god“, Jeno had said and then Jaemin had told them about how he dropped his beloved coffee that morning and whined on about it until they promised him to visit the small coffee shop at the corner after school together.)
„He’s got a point though“, Chenle finally speaks up. „Sexuality is a part of your identity, especially you should know that, Hyuck. It sucks to not know who you are“.
Automatically, his eyes fly over to the tall, lanky boy who’s currently ignoring the movie and their conversation for the sake of some mobile game he’s playing on his smartphone. Park Jisung, pain in the ass and subject of Chenle’s many daydreams.
Chenle is used to being the smartest person in the room. He skipped one year of school because he learned everything so much quicker than the other kids and yes, that meant that he was also always the youngest but he didn’t mind, he could put up with his older classmates.
Chenle never studied a lot for his tests and yet he still managed to score straight A‘s, he was good with remembering things (one time he mesmerized an entire chapter of their biology textbook overnight, just because Donghyuk dared him to). It wasn’t that Chenle was arrogant he just knew that his mind worked faster than everyone else's.
That was until he met Park Jisung.
Park Jisung, who didn’t just skip one, but two years of school, who graduated at the age of sixteen and who liked to do math in his free time because „numbers calm me down, Chenle“ (and Chenle had always been good with math, but he didn’t enjoy it, it was more like a chore to him).
At first, Chenle thought that he couldn’t stand Park Jisung with his hilarious love for numbers. Everyone seemed to expect that they would get along perfectly, after all they were the two youngest, barely three months separating them and on top of that they were both really clever.
But instead of friendship, a weird rivalry between the two of them developed.
Chenle figured that he wouldn’t mind, hell, that he would even be glad when Jaemin stopped babying him, when Donghyuk stopped clinging onto him, when Jeno stopped calling him cute. But as it turned out, he did and the worst thing was, he couldn’t even be mad. Because Park Jisung was fucking awesome, who was he to deny that?
Maybe they just shared too much, he thought. They shared their intellect, their young age, their struggles and even their insomnia.
Chenle can‘t sleep sometimes. It’s because his mind is racing too fast, it keeps overthinking the most simple things. He knows it’s no use to try and fall asleep once he’s lying awake in his bed, so he developed the habit to busy himself. Doing something with his hands to keep his thoughts from running around, stumbling and falling but ever so restless.
It’s usually late at night when Chenle sneaks into the kitchen to cut vegetables, to bake a cake, to cook some rice. Sometimes he meets Renjun, who‘s secretly eating Jeno’s ice cream, sometimes he meets Donghyuk, because Donghyuk is a light sleeper and needs a cup of tea to fall asleep again.
Until one night, he meets Park Jisung. Park Jisung, who tells him that he „can’t fall asleep“, Park Jisung who starts a conversation about whether it’s possible or not to live as an adult off nothing but breastmilk, Park Jisung who eats the entire batch of muffins with Chenle.
Park Jisung who manages to put his mind at rest.
After some time, Chenle found out that he kind of started to appreciate their bickering, their discussions and debates late at night on the kitchen floor.
He appreciates Park Jisung.
„Excuse me, are you calling me a pervert?“, Donghyuk pulls him back into reality and throws the remote into the vague direction of the couch table (he totally misses and it hits Mark‘s knee with a dull sound).
„No, that’s not what I-“, Chenle begins but Donghyuk won’t let him finish.
„Because I am“, Donghyuk proudly exclaims, „Do you want to know what I did the other night with the sexy barrister from our coffee shop?“
„No one wants to know that“, Mark rubs his probably throbbing knee and places the remote carefully on the table. „And no one forces you to label anything. But it helps to know“.
Donghyuk snorts. „So what are you, Mark?“
Chenle notices that the eldest flushes. It’s because Mark doesn’t like to talk about those things, he doesn’t speak about sex or sexuality or anything that involves those topics. And Chenle thinks that’s okay (not everyone needs to know about your choking kink, Donghyuk) but he’s a bit curious too. All he knows is that Mark is not straight.
„That’s none of your business!“, Mark snaps and avoids Hyuck‘s curious eyes. Chenle wonders if Mark is ashamed of his sexuality but then again, what’s there to be ashamed of? It’s not like any of them are straight either (except for Jisung. Of course except for Jisung).
Donghyuk squints. „You don’t know“, he states but Chenle doesn’t think so. Mark probably knows, but maybe he doesn’t want Donghyuk to know (on the other hand, Chenle was never really good with interpreting other people’s emotions, that was always Renjun‘s part).
„I do“, Mark insists. „I just don’t want to tell you“
„What is there not to tell? You’re either straight, gay or bi“
„You do realize that there are more than just three sexualities, right?“, Renjun tries to reach the last pringle in the almost empty can.
„There are?“, Donghyuk thinks for a brief moment. „Oh right, I forgot the thing that you are“
„The thing is called asexual“, Renjun tosses the now empty can at Donghyuk.
„Are you sure because I always figured it’s more your deep hatred towards literally every human creature on this planet“, Donghyuk rubs his forehead where the can hit him and shoots angry glares at Renjun.
„Suck it!“, Renjun bites.
„Gladly“, Donghyuk smiles and Chenle knows this smile. It’s not a good sign because that’s exactly the same smile he smiled before challenging Renjun to a tequila-battle after graduation and as far as Chenle knows, Renjun made out with Jaemin that night. „Anyways Jeno“, he leans over Chenles lap and gently grabs Jeno’s thighs. „Let’s explore our sexuality together“.
Jaemin swats Donghyuk‘s hand away. „Don’t touch my boyfriend with those dirty hands of yours“.
„Jeez, calm down“, Donghyuk pulls his hand back. „As if anyone would want to touch him“.
„You totally would“, Renjun mutters and Chenle silently begs to differ, because while Donghyuk does sleep with anyone and everyone, he never ever tried to do anything with one of his friends.
„I want to explore though“, Jeno admits and Jaemin looks at him offended while Donghyuk winks. „Not like that“, he quickly adds. „I just want to know who I am“.
„Great!“, Donghyuk claps. „So it’s on! We‘re going to identify the shit out of our sexuality!“
This time Chenle does roll his eyes. His friends are a mess.
___
When Chenle comes home from the dance studio, he’s greeted by the delicious smell of food and a very loud „what the fuck is that “. Usually, this should be a sign to turn around and mind your own business (Mark once found Renjun stuck in their washing machine which was hilarious at first until Renjun announced he needed to pee really bad and they couldn’t really figure out how to get him free again), but Chenle is morbidly curious.
He is quick to find the source, it’s Jisung standing in the doorway of their living room, looking absolutely mortified at Donghyuk or more precisely, Donghyuk in a dress.
„What is going on?“, Chenle asks, despite being not so sure if he really wants to know.
„I’m exploring my sexuality“, is the explanation Donghyuk offers with a bright smile while twirling around (and Chenle has to admit that he looks surprisingly good in a dress, it shows off his beautiful long legs and slim waist).
„You’re all insane“, Jisung shakes his head.
„Crossdressing isn‘t what I meant when I told you to explore your sexuality“, Chenle sighs. „And this is not how it works, at all“.
„I do look hot though“, Donghyuk twirls again and then sends himself a kiss in the mirror.
„I’m not answering that“, Chenle says at the same time as Jisung shrieks „No!“.
„I totally would fuck myself“, Donghyuk declares and that’s something Chenle really doesn’t want to imagine.
„If I were into sex, I would too“, a voice behind them suddenly says. It’s Renjun and he’s carrying a very big makeup bag that Chenle doesn’t want to know where it’s from.
„Gross“, Jisung mutters.
„A very smart man once said ‚I‘m not gonna pass on some dick‘ and I feel that on a spiritual level“
„That’s because you were the one who said that, Hyuck, two days ago in the club right before you sucked a straight guy’s dick in the toilet“, Chenle says and rolls his eyes. „What are you doing this for anyways? I thought you wanted to explore your sexuality and not your gender identity“.
„Oh that dress is just because I lost a bet to Renjun“, Donghyuk explains. „For my sexuality journey I have this“, he shows them a small, black book.
„What’s that?“, Jisung asks because apparently he just doesn’t know any better. Of course he doesn’t, Jisung wasn’t there when Donghyuk showed them his nudes-folder after graduation.
„I’m glad you asked“, Donghyuk‘s smile is a bit too sweet for Chenle’s taste. This means trouble, he just knows it. „It’s my logbook“.
„Your logbook?“, Jisung repeats and Chenle groans. He can see where this is going.
„I‘m going to keep track of my hookups from now on, with a detailed review for each one“, Donghyuk proudly exclaims. „I’m going to rate them and in the end I’m going to know what I enjoy and thadah, my sexual orientation!“
Renjun takes the book from Donghyuk's hands and whacks it over his head. „You’re an idiot“, he says and Chenle couldn’t agree more.
„Come on“, he mutters and pulls Jisung into the direction of their kitchen. „Let’s eat dinner as long as Donghyuk hasn’t completely ruined our appetite yet“.
„I don’t get it“, Jisung shovels a ridiculously big spoon full of stew in his mouth, „What’s so exciting about exploring your sexuality?“
Chenle shrugs in response. He could tell Jisung about his whole coming out story but it’s still too early for these kinds of conversations. Maybe later, he thinks, when they‘re both on the kitchen floor. „I guess it’s just nice to be sure of what you like and what you don’t. Or who“.
„I never explored my sexuality and I know for sure that I‘m straight“.
Chenle huffs. They’re going to see about that. For a straight guy, Jisung has suspicious amount of queer friends. „How can you be so sure? Have you ever kissed a boy?“
Jisung hesitantly shakes his head.
„Then how do you know you’re straight?“
„Because-“, Jisung makes a vague gesture. „I’m just not gay. Or bi. Or whatever- not that anything is wrong with you guys. It’s just not for me, for sure. Like, I can admit that guys are attractive but I‘m sure that I could never- yeah“.
Chenle snorts again. That’s a lot of „sure“s for someone who never even tried out his options.
___
Chenle was never afraid to admit to himself that he does have a crush. He made a vow to himself after coming out that he would never ever be ashamed of his feelings again and that includes his feelings for a certain boy who’s currently sitting in front of him on the floor, bent over one of his calculations.
„Do you think the abrasion on my knee will leave a scar“, he asks absently, while scribbling numbers and letters onto the paper. Jisung does math and Chenle can only understand half of it (it’s kind of annoying but also impressive).
Chenle shrugs and takes another spoon full of Jeno‘s ice cream. „Does it matter?“, he asks and takes a look at the clock on the wall. It’s already 3:42 am, there’s no way Chenle is going back to sleep tonight, he’s way too wide awake.
„It does“, Jisung insists. „Scars on your skin will always tell the story of your life, it’s exciting. Also besides that, scars make me look like a badass“, he puts his pencil down and looks expectantly at Chenle.
„So you want to have a scar on your knee that tells the story of how you slipped in our stairwell from when Donghyuk spilled his bubble tea and refused to clean it up because he blamed Mark?“, Chenle snorts. „I doubt that this is going to make you look like a badass“.
Jisung thinks for a moment. „Well, I could always tell people that I got the scar from when I got into a fight with- I don't know- a mean bully at school?“
Chenle laughs. The image of Jisung, who gets scared from Jeno talking too loud during a movie beating up a bully at school is ridiculous. „You know what, Donghyuk has a scar on his chin from when he got into a fight with a mean guy at school“, Chenle remembers. He even got stitches and because Donghyuk is a drama queen, he made them buy him cake for the next two weeks as a „sign of their solidarity“ or some shit.
„He does?“, Jisung takes Chenle’s spoon to eat from Jeno’s ice cream himself.
„Yeah“, Chenle hesitates. There’s a brief debate going on inside of him about whether he should tell Jisung or not. In the end he decides that, fuck it, it’s already late at night. „He actually got into the fight because of me“.
„What?“, Jisung looks at him in surprise. „What did you do?“
„I was together with-“, Chenle interrupts himself. God, how pathetic, he can’t even say his name out loud. „-with this boy. And an asshole thought he needed to tell us what exactly his opinion on that was“.
„Oh“, Jisung says and he avoids eye contact with Chenle. Is he blushing?
„I believe his exact words were something along the lines of „shooting us faggots“ but I can’t remember clearly. It took Donghyuk maybe 0.2 seconds to punch him in the face. Kinda impressive, the guy was at least twice his size…“, Chenle trails off. It was impressive, but was it really worth it? There was always more than one comment, more than one judging look whenever him and Felix showed affection in public but Chenle was never ashamed to have a boyfriend. And most of the time, he didn’t really mind.
„I never knew that you were together with a boy“, Jisung mutters and oh my god, he is blushing. Chenle wonders if that’s an issue for Jisung. He knows the latter grew up in a very catholic family but on the other side, Jisung never seemed to have a problem with Jeno and Jaemin either.
Chenle pulls a face. „It’s been a while“, he says.
„You never told me“, Jisung‘s voice almost sounds a bit hurt.
„I don’t like to remind myself of that story“, his fingers absently wander to his elbow as he speaks. There is a scar, it’s mostly healed by now but there is still a small irregularity where soft skin should be. It tells the story of how Chenle fell next to the pool, on a hot day in June, with Felix next to him, who kissed the bandaid softly with his pretty lips and fed Chenle strawberries because he couldn’t bend his arm properly.
„Did he treat you badly?“, Jisung‘s eyes are almost as big as the full moon outside.
„No“, Chenle steals his spoon back from Jisung. „He treated me just right“.
„What happened?“
Chenle shrugs. „He broke my heart“.