Work Text:
July 7, 2003
Natsu felt the warmth of the sun's early rays trickling through his bedroom window, signaling the start of a new day, but he ignored it, choosing to keep his eyes closed. Today was his birthday, but he had no idea what to expect.
Every year since he could remember, his parents would come into his bedroom on his birthday to wake him up. His father would sing Happy Birthday in Fiorean, and then he'd launch into renditions of birthday songs from his native Alvarez. Natsu had never really understood the words themselves, but he'd always enjoyed it, regardless. It had always been one of his favorite parts of the day, and he found himself hoping for it, even though he knew that with his mother gone, it was unlikely.
Everything had changed since she'd died last August. His dad - who had always had a joke or a funny story at the ready - was now sad pretty much all the time. Whenever he wasn't at work, he spent most of his time sitting in an armchair and staring off into space.
His older sister Erza was doing her best to fill the void created by their mom's absence. She'd been learning how to cook, do laundry, and all the other chores their mom used to take care of. There was no more time for games or pretend, leaving Natsu feeling adrift. He tried to do as much as he could, helping out with the chores and attempting to put a smile on his dad's face, but nothing seemed to change.
Regardless, Natsu had always been a bit of an optimist, so he remained in his bed with his eyes closed.
Wishing.
Waiting.
Allowing himself the barest flicker of hope that his dad would walk into his room at any moment.
He wanted today to be a good day. He didn't even care about presents, although, of course, that would be nice. The only thing he craved this year was to have a nice day with his dad and sister. So he waited and waited and waited some more until the heat underneath the covers became stifling, and he had no choice but to admit that his dad wasn't going to come.
Trying not to let that affect him, Natsu got up, making his bed to keep Erza from having to do it. He decided to go to him instead. Maybe if he asked nicely, his dad would still do it. He rushed through brushing his teeth, thinking about the words he would say. Stepping out of the bathroom and into the hallway, he walked to his father's bedroom, working up his courage as he got nearer.
But he never got the chance as Erza came out of their father's bedroom and closed the door behind her, standing in front of it with a face Natsu had come to recognize. Erza was disappointed. Still, she smiled brightly when her gaze fell on him.
"There you are! I was getting ready to come get you!" she exclaimed, her voice too cheerful, her smile too quick for him to trust that everything was okay, "Happy Birthday, I can't believe you're nine already!"
As she led him away from the room and down the stairs, she chattered nonstop about everything they were going to do to celebrate. Natsu looked back at the door, an unexplainable sense of dread coming over him at the sight.
The next thing he knew, he was sitting at the breakfast nook, staring at a huge breakfast of pancakes and bacon.
"Isn't dad coming to eat?"
"Nah, he was tired, maybe he'll feel up to it later," Erza muttered in between bites, her eyes fixed on the pancakes on her plate.
"Okay," Natsu shrugged and dug in. It wouldn't be the first time that had happened.
They cleared the dishes, putting them in the dishwasher for later.
"Would you like your present?" Erza asked shyly.
"You didn't have to get me anything," Natsu replied, but his grin was enough to show he sure as hell didn't mind.
Erza rolled her eyes at him, grabbing some sort of wrapped cylinder from the coat closet at the foot of the stairs and shoving it at him.
Whatever it was, Natsu could tell she was really excited about it, reminding him of other birthdays. "It's not another dragon onesie, is it?" he teased, unwrapping the present as slowly as he could manage, knowing that it would drive her crazy.
He didn't last long, his curiosity and excitement overriding his need to be a brat, and soon he was looking at a foam practice sword like the ones that Erza used in her lessons.
"Wow! This is awesome!" Natsu moved it from arm to arm, getting a feel for its weight, and soon he began making practice slashes.
"Wanna spar?" Erza asked, grabbing one of her swords from the same closet and pointing it at him.
"Sure!"
She taught him the basics, enough for them to play around, pretending to be pirates fighting over treasure. Their squeals of laughter getting louder and louder until Natsu had to ask, "Shouldn't we be quieter?"
"Oh, yeah," Erza agreed, but rather than being quiet, she stopped altogether. "We should get started on your cake."
Natsu followed her into the kitchen, "You're gonna let me help?!"
"Well yeah, Mom taught you all her tricks. We want it to be a yummy cake, don't we?"
Natsu nodded eagerly, "It's not hard, I'll show you!"
They worked together until they were both satisfied with the results, giggling at their batter covered faces. They cleaned up while the cake baked, with Erza fixing them sandwiches while they waited.
The cake came out looking pretty nice, and they set about making frosting, with Erza determined it needed to be pink to match his hair, although she had also pulled out some strawberries from the refrigerator to decorate the top.
It had been a great day, but there was still something missing, something he desperately wanted. He couldn't help thinking that as much fun as they'd had, Erza had kept him busy every moment of the day, almost as if she were trying to keep him away from their dad. And shouldn't he have come down to eat at least? They'd had two meals already, and unlike at breakfast when there had been plenty of food for all three of them, Erza had only made sandwiches for the two of them.
That sense of foreboding came back even stronger as he wondered what Erza was trying to keep him from. So while she was putting frosting on the cake, he snuck away, wanting to find out what was going on and hoping desperately that all that was wrong was that his dad was hungover again.
He had reached the stairs when there was a knocking at the door. Natsu was surprised to see Erza answer. They weren't supposed to do that without an adult present.
Two people came in, one was a policewoman, the other a tall man who was studying Erza and him as well.
"Are you kids alright?" the policewoman asked his sister.
"Yes, we're fine," Erza sounded polite, like she always did with adults, but all Natsu could do was watch in fascination and dread.
"Is there an adult here with you?"
Erza remained silent, and it was clear that she was struggling with what to say.
"Of course there is!" Natsu yelled, full of indignation at the implication, "Our dad is upstairs."
It was Erza's flinch that did it. Every single doubt he'd had that day returned full force, and no matter how much he struggled to quiet it, it wouldn't go away.
He had to go upstairs, needed to show these people that they could go wherever they came from because his dad was right there. And soon, he would come downstairs and sing him Happy Birthday, and they would eat the cake that Natsu and Erza had made together.
"Son, you need to come with us," the policewoman said, earning a glare from the other man.
"You don't need to do anything yet," the other man assured him. "My name is Gildarts Clive. I am a social worker from the Magnolia Department of Social Services. I've been sent here to make sure that you are safe, and that there is someone here to take care of you. That's all."
"Now, what are your names?" He smiled at both of them, and Natsu relaxed slightly.
"I'm Erza Dragneel, and that's my little brother, Natsu," Erza answered for both of them, her voice sounding wooden, and just like when they were eating pancakes that morning, she wouldn't look at him.
"Tell you what, Natsu," Gildarts walked towards him slowly, holding both his hands in front of him, "Why don't you and I go upstairs to talk to your dad, and if he's there like you say, then we'll go right away, okay?"
Natsu thought it over and nodded. That sounded reasonable enough.
"If he isn't up there, though, I'm going to help you pick out some things, and we'll take you to stay somewhere safe until he returns."
That part not so much, but Natsu was sure he had nothing to worry about, so he once again nodded in agreement.
"Good man," Gildarts smiled and gestured at Natsu to lead the way to his father's room, following him up the stairs.
Natsu stood in front of the door, but he couldn't seem to make his hand move to open it. Gildarts knocked on it and waited for an answer. When none came, he called out.
"Mr. Dragneel, this is Gildarts Clive from the Magnolia Department of Social Services. If you're in there, I need you to answer me."
They both waited in tense silence, but once again, there was nothing, only the quiet sound of Erza crying as the policewoman asked her lots of questions.
"Alright, Mr. Dragneel, I'm going to have to open this door. I apologize for the intrusion," Gildarts peered down at Natsu as if waiting for his approval.
He must have done something for Gildarts was opening the door, and Natsu rushed in wishing to hear his father complain, but Erza's tears had been enough for him to realize what he would find. His father wasn't there. The black-and-white checkered scarf he always wore sat neatly folded on the bed, along with a gift-wrapped box and a card.
Natsu found he couldn't move, and as much as he hated to feel Gildarts' gaze on him, he was almost grateful when the man picked him up and sat him on the bed before inspecting his father's closet and bathroom.
"It looks like those are for you," Gildarts prodded, sitting next to him. "Don't you want to open them?"
He shook his head, "Not before he sings me Happy Birthday."
"It's your birthday today?"
Gildarts studied him again before sighing, "Why don't you show me to your room? I'll help you get some things together. We don't know where your dad is right now, but we'll leave a note downstairs and a card. If he comes back-"
"He's going to come back!" Natsu screamed, making Gildarts startle.
"Sorry, my bad. When he comes back, we'll have a talk with him and get this all sorted out, okay?"
Natsu could hear Erza coming up the stairs, the policewoman following close behind, and when they passed his room to get to hers, he wanted so much to be angry with her for keeping this from him. But he couldn't. She must have been upset too, but she'd spent all day trying to make his birthday the absolute best she could, given what she'd known. How could he fault her for that?
Natsu followed Gildarts to his room, watching listlessly as he packed some of his clothes into a bag. He let his eyes wander over his walls, which were covered with posters of dragons of all kinds. Models he'd built with his dad over the years sat on his bookcase, all vestiges of happier times.
His throat felt like it had a weight on it, but still, he didn't cry. Just took everything in and wondered what had happened. How did everything go so wrong in such a short time? It wasn't that long ago that he'd had a mother who had loved him and a father who - hadn't needed to be found.
Natsu refused to believe that he was gone for good. This wasn't the first time he'd left for a couple of days. He always came back, bringing presents and apologizing for his absence, and then everything would be better for a few days.
Natsu had no idea where his father went during these times, but they seemed to do him good, and that's all that mattered to him. That's what this was. He was sure of it. And with that thought, he relaxed. He'd just have to make sure he was here when his father came back.
Natsu understood this wasn't a fight he could win. He had no choice but to go with these people, but that didn't mean he had to stay.
Once Gildarts was done, he offered him his hand, and Natsu took it, allowing himself to be led.
"Are you sure you don't want to open that present, kid?" Gildarts asked him again.
"Yeah, I'm sure."
"Alright, but at least take this," Gildarts left him in the hallway and Natsu waited patiently, confused when he saw the social worker holding his father's scarf, "It might make you feel better in a strange place."
Natsu doubted it, but he nodded and let Gildarts wrap it around his neck. He'd just give it back to his dad when he saw him.
Erza came out of her room with a bag of her own. She searched his eyes and then hid behind her bangs, "I'm so sorry, Natsu. I had to."
"It's okay," he assured her, and wanting to let her know how much he appreciated everything she'd done for him, he added, "I had fun today, thank you."
For some reason he didn't get that seemed to make her cry again. Gildarts walked over to her, whispering some words that Natsu didn't catch, but they seemed to make her feel better.
They were led out of their home and placed in the back of a vehicle. Gildarts had grabbed the cake and brought it along with them, but Natsu didn’t want it anymore. Erza seemed afraid, but Natsu wasn't worried. Everything would be fine as soon as their dad came back.
He was sure of it.
0-0
Gildarts had been right about one thing, wearing his father’s scarf did make him feel better. It reassured him whenever they were moved from house to house and he wore it all the time. Natsu didn’t feel at home anywhere, and soon he closed himself off to everyone but Erza and Gildarts. No matter how nice the people were, and sometimes they were, they weren’t his parents and he wanted no part of them.
For two years, he stubbornly ran away from every foster family social services placed him and Erza. It made no difference to him how far away it was. He would make his way back to Magnolia, returning to their real home, determined that his father would come back for them.
He'd fought anyone who said any differently, including Gildarts, who had been on the receiving end of his anger more than once.
He was the one who would invariably come and drag Natsu back to his foster home, always managing to keep him out of trouble. It did nothing to lessen Natsu's determination, and no matter how much Erza begged him to stop, he couldn't let it go.
Until the night Makarov Dreyar had shown up in Gildarts' stead.
He introduced himself as Gildarts' father and explained that Gildarts had gone back into the military. He would no longer be able to protect Natsu from the consequences of his constant rule-breaking, so he'd made arrangements for his parents to become their new foster parents.
Makarov even promised to bring Natsu to the house whenever he wanted, as long as he promised to stop sneaking out in the middle of the night.
Natsu wanted to fight, to say that the only home he needed was right behind him, but he had to admit he was drained. The news that he wouldn't even have Gildarts anymore hit him hard. As much as he fought with the social worker, he couldn’t deny that he'd taken a liking to him. Gildarts had been a steady presence in his life, always willing to listen and Natsu had enjoyed the time he got to spend with him, even when he was in trouble.
Now he’d abandoned Natsu as well. But he knew that wasn't exactly fair. Gildarts had left, and it did hurt, but he’d made sure that in his absence, Natsu and Erza were taken care of by someone he trusted. Something their own father hadn't done.
And that's when Natsu remembered Erza's words the day they had been taken away. The apology he'd thought was for lying to him about their dad's absence. For not being able to give him the birthday he'd hoped for.
I'm so sorry, Natsu. I had to.
It had been Erza who had called Social Services on them.
Now that he thought about it, she hadn't acted at all surprised when they had shown up at their door. The realization dismayed him, but he knew in his heart that it was the truth. And he had to wonder why she’d done it.
Erza was not one to give up easily. She must have somehow recognized that Igneel wasn't coming back from wherever he went this time. Or maybe she just accepted that she couldn't take care of them on her own anymore. Either way, she had made the tough decision to ask for help, to ensure that they were cared for, just like Gildarts had.
Erza had accepted the truth two years ago, and Natsu realized maybe it was time he did too.
If Igneel hadn't come back to them yet, it was quite likely he never would.
Erza had given them a chance at another life, and now Gildarts had offered them a home with his own family. But all Natsu had accomplished with his denial was to hurt himself and put them at risk of being separated. And he didn’t want to do that anymore.
He finally let himself cry for all the things he'd lost while Makarov comforted him as best he could.
"So, do we have a deal?" Makarov asked when Natsu was done.
“Yeah,” he sniffled, “There’s just something I want to get from inside.”
Makarov flashed him an approving grin and fished around in his pocket, extracting the house key and presenting it to him, “Gildarts hoped you’d say that.”