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Armitage Hux was thirty years old the first time he saw color. He hadn't noticed right away because color had never had a place in his world. The First Order existed in monochrome by design--all blacks and whites, sterile and empty of anything resembling color. Color was an unnecessary distraction, the sort of nonsense that the Resistance clung to along with their ridiculously romantic notions about soulmates.
The books always described a dramatic realization the moment you laid eyes on your soulmate, the world lighting up in bright shades and hues all around you, but it wasn't like that for Hux. The moment it happened, he was standing at attention, his men splayed out behind him to greet the Supreme Leader's apprentice. When the man swept down out of the transport, his black robes flowing behind him and his black mask covering his face Hux had felt nothing except irritation that he had to share his command with that pretentious asshole.
There was a shift though, a subtle change in the saturation of the blacks and whites around him. It wasn't truly noticeable until he looked at his men and saw that their faces were no longer shades of grey. At the time he hadn't had words to put to the colors he saw, but he realized later that he was seeing the warm shades of peach and rich browns that made up skin tone.
Those changes, while unexpected, were relatively minor so it was a surprise when he looked into the mirror and saw his own reflection looking back at him. His hair was no longer the familiar light grey that he'd grown up seeing and was instead multihued--so many shades of oranges and golds shining in the light that he almost couldn't process it. He'd never seen anything like it and had spent an hour studying it, trying to identify the individual colors with the primer on his datapad.
Investigating the colors and trying to learn their names was a welcome distraction from the realization that the Force had seen fit to bind him to Kylo Ren. Soulmates weren't talked about in the Order, although he had read a few of the illicit Republic books about them. A soulmate match was relatively rare, whether because most people didn't have one or because they just never met their perfect match, the experts never agreed.
What everyone did agree on was that soulmates had been chosen by the Force itself. The more romantic texts said that they were the same life force shared between two bodies, but Hux didn't put much faith in that sort of mystical nonsense. But still, if there was even the slightest chance that his new co-commander could be a powerful ally, then he decided then and there, standing in front of his mirror, that maybe he should give this soulmate thing some more consideration.
**
Armitage Hux was thirty-two years old when he gave up on even managing a working partnership with Kylo Ren. The man was insufferable and utterly dismissive of Hux. It was clear that the only people who Ren found even the least bit worthwhile were those with skill in the Force.
No matter how accomplished Hux was as a general he would always be seen as less than in Ren's eyes, and Hux was done living a life of inferiority. He'd tried too long and too hard to please his father. He wouldn't make the same mistake with Ren.
Besides, he doubted that Ren even realized that Hux was his soulmate. After all, it would be completely beneath him to consider an ordinary human as a match. Ren had been the only new person in the room when Hux first saw color, but for Ren there were hundreds of new people spread out before him. He probably didn't realize who had triggered the change and Hux wasn't about to tell him.
Not that it mattered. Ren wasn't going to ask.
The moment that hope finally died, came when their shuttle crash landed on an unimportant planet only notable because of their presence.
"We're going down!"
The pilot's desperate cries were the last words that Hux heard before everything was too loud. He closed his eyes, bracing for the end, but despite falling to the floor during the impact, the horrific crushing death he expected never came.
He opened his eyes and looked warily at the debris floating all around him as if there was a protective bubble it couldn't penetrate. Standing in the middle of the destruction was Kylo Ren, his hand outstretched.
Hux blinked at Ren and then looked out at the destruction. Orange flames flared up, burning hot in the remains of their ship, yet not coming near them. "How did we? Did you… did you save me?"
It was the only possible explanation, but it didn't make sense. Ren hated him and the feeling was more than mutual. For the briefest moment he thought that maybe, just maybe, Ren did know that they were soulmates. Maybe he had finally realized that Hux was special. That he was important.
"Not intentionally," Ren said. He lowered his hand and the debris fell to the ground. Ren turned his back as a pipe landed solidly on Hux's head. "I saved myself. You were just nearby."
You were just nearby. Those words were said with such disdain that the last thread of hope Hux had managed to hold on to throughout the last few miserable years was extinguished. Any joy he might have once felt seeing the brilliant greens of the planet as they searched for escape was gone and he wished that his world was still grey.
**
Armitage Hux was thirty-five years old when he finally decided that he would extinguish the color around him by force if necessary. Those insipid Republic books about soulmates had spoken of the death of a soulmate as a horror to be avoided. The tragic return to a black and white existence was described as the worst possible outcome.
Hux thought it sounded like freedom.
There were only so many indignities that he could be expected to suffer and their new Supreme Leader setting him aside for Allegiant General Pryde had been the last straw.
The day that he first contacted the Resistance, he could still feel the phantom fingers around his throat, choking out the last of his breath as he struggled to swear allegiance to a man he hated. The purple bruises had faded to a sickly green and then disappeared months ago, but he still felt like he was suffocating with every breath he took.
In his daydreams he imagined that the red flash of his blaster would be the last color he saw, but he knew that as much as he wanted to kill Ren with his own hands it was impossible. He'd never imagined that he would betray the First Order, but if it led to Ren's death it was worth it. Besides, Ren had perverted the Order past recognition. It was no longer the same organization that he'd dedicated his life to.
Getting shot wasn't in his plans, but despite his injuries he clung stubbornly to life, refusing to die until the color leached out of his world.
Lying in the infirmary, untreated due to the chaos and chained to a gurney, Hux kept his eyes firmly fixed on the viewport as the reds and yellow of the battle streaked all around him. Each breath was a struggle, but he held on. He refused to die until the colors leached away.
He refused to lose.
Sudden explosions rocked the Steadfast and red lights started flashing warnings to evacuate. With nowhere to go, Hux fixed his eyes on the lights and waited. Finally, when the Steadfast was plummeting to the surface and his own death was all but imminent, the lights flickered to grey.
Hux smiled in vicious triumph. Ren was dead and he had won. He'd gambled everything, but he had won. Somehow he stayed conscious through the crash landing, still staring at the grey light as it flashed his victory.
But it wasn't to be. The light flickered again and the next flash was bright red.
"No!" Hux yelled, the shout sending pain shooting through his broken sternum as he struggled against the restraints holding him down. After everything Ren had survived.
He collapsed back, exhausted, and stared at the light for as long as he could, hoping it would turn grey again. But his own eyes were growing heavy and it was becoming harder to think. Without his dreams of vengeance to hold on to he was succumbing to his wounds.
Hux could only hope that Ren missed the colors he was about to lose.
**
Kylo Ren was twenty-five years old when he first saw color, but it wasn't until he was thirty years old and that color began flickering out at the edges, greyscale bleeding in where color once was, that he found himself caring. It wasn't until he was ready to be Ben Solo again, that he was able to think about the life that had lit his world up in color.
Ben struggled to his feet, still unsteady from his mother's gift of life, and ran in the direction he could feel Hux's life force fading. Thank the Force, the wreckage of the Steadfast was nearby and he was able to weave his way through the burning remains of his former flagship to find Hux still chained to an infirmary cot, his chest covered in blaster burns.
He removed the restraints with a wave of his hand and carried him free of the encroaching flames. "Stay with me, Hux. You're too stubborn to die like this."
Hux's eyes flickered open, a piercing blue, so pale it was almost grey, and glared up at him. "Can't you even let me die on my own terms?"
The caustic words shouldn't make Ben happy, but he couldn't help the smile that tugged at his lips. The moment Hux spoke, the encroaching grey began to recede. He was still struggling to breath and likely had internal bleeding, but his will to live was returning.
"Stop smiling," Hux hissed. "It's disturbing." Ben actually laughed at that, which seemed to confuse Hux even more. "What's gotten into you, Ren?"
"Call me, Ben," Ben corrected him. He gently sat Hux down on a flat piece of ground and ran his hands over his chest. He didn't have much energy left, but he could stop the bleeding and repair the rest later.
"Why are you doing this?"
"You know why," Ben answered.
"It's never mattered to you before." Hux narrowed his eyes at Ben. "I didn't think you even knew it was me."
Ben reached up and pushed Hux's hair off of his forehead, letting his fingers run through the strands of golds and oranges that he'd stared at for days after color first entered his world. He'd been ashamed of his interest, hiding behind the mask and lashing out at Hux in equal measure, but he had noticed it.
"I always knew," Ben murmured. "But Snoke said it would be a weakness and I was stupid enough to believe him."
"I hate you," Hux said and Ben could feel the truth in it. "This bond means nothing to me now."
"I know." Ben went back to healing the worst of the damage Hux had suffered. "But I'm going to make sure you live a long life anyway."
**
Armitage Hux was thirty-six years old when he finally let go of his anger and accepted Ben Solo as his soulmate. Ben was a stubborn man, focused entirely on Hux's health and safety as they escaped Exegol and took up residence on a small moon to recover. Eventually even Hux's determination to hate him faded in the face of his relentless attention, and more importantly respect.
Hux stood next to their small shuttle, looking out over the fields of blue and purple grass waving in the wind. "You aren't going to just let me go are you?"
Ben stepped up next to him. "If you really want me to I will."
"I don't," Hux admitted. He turned to look at Ben. He knew intellectually that this was the same man who had tormented him in the past, but it was hard to see. Ben's eyes were so much softer than Kylo Ren's. He hesitantly reached out and took Ben's hand in his own, weaving their fingers together. "I don't even know where I'd go."
"We'll figure it out together."
Hux turned back to the field, finally letting himself enjoy the full spectrum of color again after years of wishing it would disappear. With enough time he might even grow to love the different shades.