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Peter knew exactly how long they’d been in the Soul Stone, from day one he was counting days. So many people he knew were there and it hurt him to know that all the people he cared about had their loved ones ripped away from them. His heart ached for Clint, who he knew would go down a bad path. For Steve and Tony who would blame themselves for their loved ones being snapped. Maybe Tony would have a kid in that time, start a family. Peter’s being ached at the idea of being forgotten, of being just another memory. But he hoped, so dearly, that he would find happiness.
He knew Mr Stark cared, he’d been saved enough times to get the hint, but he could only hope that he didn’t care as much as Peter. He could move on. May had already died before the snap and he found himself isolating from his friends more. It was nearing Ben’s death anniversary and he really couldn’t deal. He knew realistically that he was also dead but he hadn’t gone wherever May, Ben, his mum and dad went.
He was doomed to an eternity of loneliness, wondering if he’d just be another of the forgotten. Days like this he’d curl under a ‘tree’, funny huh? There was life here, maybe it was a figure of his imagination.
He appreciated the efforts from MJ and Ned to make him feel better, but it didn’t work. He felt useless as Bucky and Sam racked together their knowledge and tried to figure a way out, but he couldn’t find the energy to stand.
Surprisingly in the stone, there were dwellings, he lived with Bucky and Sam, knowing that Mr Stark and Steve would feel more comfortable with him staying with people who could protect him. T’Challa would often also brainstorm with the two men, already close with Bucky. Late nights, early mornings being their motto.
They both left him alone, leaving early, citing that it was too much work to deal with his teenage angst. He spent all day inside, crying muffled into a pillow, refusing to eat. He didn’t answer any knocks at his door, only stopping his crying when Sam and Bucky got home. They called him out of his room and he frantically wiped the tears out of his eyes before leaving his room. He hoped he didn’t look like he’d been crying, but there was no way for him to wash his face before facing them.
“Hi guys, make any breakthroughs today?” He tried his best to keep his voice from breaking, but failed when it broke midway through the sentence.
“No.” Replied Sam moodily, and they said he had teen angst.
“Have you been crying?” Bucky asked incredulously. He shook his head a little too quickly.
“N-no.” He stuttered out his voice, small.
“Jesus.” Bucky pinched his forehead. “We’ve spent all day trying to figure a way out of this and you couldn’t even put aside your teenage angst to help? You spent all day crying? You miss your family? Well news flash we all do! I miss Steve, I miss living at the tower. I get you miss Tony and your family but if we don’t find a way out of here, you’ll never see them again.”
His tone was vicious, scorching and Peter felt himself flinch.
“Well too bad, I’m never gonna see them again anyway.” His tone was mocking and cruel.
“Well with that attitude you won’t, can’t even put aside your personal shit to help.” Bucky muttered the last bit, Sam had already walked away. Not able to defend Peter as he didn’t care and not able to help Bucky as it went against his moral code. He personally still agreed with Bucky.
“Can’t put aside my personal shit to help? You have been telling me that you don’t need help from a 16 year old. News flash dick wad. I’m not 16 anymore, y’all just didn’t care enough to realise. That day I took off a month ago, that you scolded me for? Yeah.”
Bucky started turning white at that realisation, even Sam in the kitchen had put down whatever he was doing to listen. Bucky opened his mouth to say something.
“Sh, it’s my turn to talk. I’ve listened to the adults talk and fail enough. Today I was home, big whoop, massive deal! It’s not like you talk to me past asking to hand you a tool or get coffee. I don’t even know what you’re doing! I can see at least 10 different errors and flaws in your design already and that’s without reading it thoroughly.
“Also, I will never see my family again. You’re not the only one with a tragic backstory. Don’t you remember the funeral a month before the snap? How my aunt was single, how I lived with my aunt instead of parents?” His voice was rising.
“My uncle died when I was young, in fact 4 years ago. To the day. This is the first time I’ve spent the day alone, ok? Without aunt May. I watched him bleed out, knowing there was nothing I could do about it. Ok? So don’t blame my crying on teenage angst when you and Sam walked in here already pissed at me, not knowing the full story. You don’t get a right.”
Bucky had turned pale by this time and Sam who’d been standing by the doorway looked well on his way to throwing up. The house that night was silent, no one working out how to fill the tense space of quiet and Peter not bothering.
“I’m going out.” Was what finally broke the silence that evening in the Barnes-Wilson house. “Not sure when I’ll be back, not that you care beyond me getting you coffee.”
His tone was sharp and made both men flinch, they tried to protest, but they knew they’d fucked up. Peter’s feet took him all the way to Flash’s house, he was the only other person in his friend group who had no family snapped with him. He knocked on the door where Flash was staying alone, no longer able to hide his grimace and tears.
Flash opened the door, already expecting the younger man to show up. He wasn’t stupid, Ben’s death had hit him hard too. Before Peter and he had gone different ways and he’d started being a jerk, Ben was like a father figure to him.
Only he understood what Peter was going through, Peter not having met MJ and Ned until after the whole Ben incident. He also recalled that May had died earlier in the year and it all made sense. They’d become closer again since their time in the stone and he frowned as he took in the man collapsed in his arms.
He didn’t like how’d they become friends again, but was grateful more than words could show.
“Flashy?” Peter whimpered from his arms.
“Park-park?” He held the smaller boy tighter, lifting him up and walking to his bedroom. He closed the front door behind them with his foot and fiddled with the lock for a second before adjusting Peter in his arms.
Flash set him down on the bed pulling out some tracksuit pants and hoodie, noticing Peter was wearing, probably days old clothing. He pulled the shirt off the boy with little protest before replacing it with his hoodie and doing the same with his bottoms, then doing the same with his own clothes.
He tugged the blanket over Peter, hugging him to his chest, allowing him to listen to his breathing and heartbeat and know that Flash was still ‘alive’ or whatever state of being they were at this point. That even if they were stuck here forever, they were stuck together. That was when the floodgates broke, Peter cried into his chest as Flash rubbed his back soothingly.
“It’s ok to cry, y’know? Just let it out.” Flash cooed, not trying to discourage the boy who often put others before himself and shirked at showing negative emotions for fear he might be inconveniencing those around him.
The crying eventually wore off as Peter got tired and clung onto the front of Flash’s shirt, almost like he was scared of Flash disappearing, which he probably was given his past.
They laid in each other’s arms all night, not thinking about anyone else. This was Flash’s best friend and although he might not act like it, he would do anything for Peter.
The next morning was hard to say the least, it was slightly awkward between Peter’s apologies for his outburst and Flash assuring him that it was alright and even perfectly normal. Breakfast was eaten in silence as they stared over the table at each other, trying to convey a million words in one look. Their hands were linked as they ate and when they sat down on Flash's couch they still hadn’t let go.
“Do you have to get going soon?” Flash asked.
Peter looked alarmed at the idea of leaving, moreso the idea of going back to Sam and Bucky’s place.
“Do you want me to come with you?”
Peter nodded after a moment of internal debate, very slowly and hesitantly. “Please?”
They walked together hand in hand down the street back to Peter’s house. They got there just before Bucky and Sam had left. Peter only gave them an icy glare before continuing to his bedroom, pulling Flash along with him. The men guiltily walked out of the house and if they had tails, they would be dragging along behind them.
“What’d they do?” Flash asked, confused that Peter Parker was holding a grudge. They sat down on Peter’s bed as he explained everything to a suitably angry Flash.
“They said what? Oh baby I’m so sorry.” Neither boy realised the slip, content to hug each other and watch whatever was playing on Peter’s tv. They were still sitting like that when the men got home, Flash only leaving the couch to force Peter to eat, knowing he wouldn’t do it on his own.
He didn’t enough as is, so when he got depressed like this he really was adamant not to eat. When Bucky and Sam walked in, both doing a poor job of hiding their shock, Flash instinctually moved Peter behind him, shielding him with his body. He knew physically he couldn’t do anything against the men, but that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t try.
But it seemed like he wouldn’t need to by the way the men were looking at the ground, redder than tomatoes.
“Peter, we know we’re shit people, we just wanted to say sorry.” Bucky started.
Sam continued, not letting either boy on the couch cut them off, putting up a hand. “We know sorry won’t cut it and we can’t apologise enough for what happened. But we really are for what it’s worth.”
Peter understood and he really did believe them but the wound was already too deep and infected. There was too much bad blood between them.
“Sorry won’t cut it. He’s coming with me.” Flash spoke, surprising everyone in the room. He looked at Peter questioningly, smiling when he nodded.
Then Peter spoke, shocking everyone even more, although he wasn’t sure why anyone was surprised given his outburst yesterday. His voice was small as he spoke, “I forgive you, I can't hold a grudge. I never could, we all know that. But I can not forget. I’m going with Flash. I’m sorry.” He looked down, not wanting to meet anyone’s eyes.
Flash put his arm around Peter, helping him up from the couch and leading him to his room, only looking back to glare at Sam and Bucky. They came out of Peter’s room half an hour later to Bucky and Sam cooking, only stopping to look at each other every so often. As they saw the two boys came out of Peter’s room, their looks turned from loving and adoring to regret and sadness. They couldn’t believe what they did to Peter, they would never forgive themselves.
“I’m sorry Peter. I know it can’t make up for it but our door’s always open, keep the key.” Sam said softly.
“Wish you luck.” Bucky gave him a half smile as Flash and Peter left. Their reconciliation wouldn’t come for another year until Peter’s 18 birthday, when it finally kicked in that they may be here forever. Peter wasn’t so scared of being forgotten now, but he still had flashes of doubt, he still fell into dark holes where he would replay Ben’s death and Bucky’s words. Life wasn’t always easy, but as long as they were stuck here they had to make do. His heart stopped aching as Flash filled in the missing pieces and he’d never been more glad to have his best friend back.