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“We have to check Mr Aizawa's Twitter!” The proclamation rang out through the UA 1-A dorms.
“I don't think it's wise to meddle in our teachers' personal lives,” Iida said.
But he went ignored by all currently present. “There's no way Mr Aizawa has a Twitter.”
“But Midnight said… 'follow the incriminating tweets'… so he must have one?” Todoroki responded conspiratorially.
“Wow, what would Mr Aizawa even tweet about...” Ashido wondered.
“What would his handle be?” Kaminari asked.
Uraraka gave a light shrug. “I yahoo'd his name and only got his UA teacher profile.”
“Yeah, figured.”
“Pros use their hero names as their online handles though? Would he really have a Twitter, seems counterproductive.”
Silence fell over the group as they contemplated the situation.
“Thought!” Ashido raised her hand as if she were in class. “If we found another teacher's twitter they might be following Mr Aizawa! The teachers are all friends, right?”
“That's a ridiculous assumption,” Iida said shortly.
“It's true, teachers don't have a life outside school,” Kaminari nodded.
“I'm sure our teachers lead very rich and fulfilling personal lives!” Iida insisted.
“Mic has his radio show,” Todoroki murmured.
“OF COURSE! Mic's personal account is linked on the official Put Your Hands Up! account so we can go through him! Okay… here we are. I recognise some of us already following; Deku, Kaminari, Jirou, Aoyama, Todoroki?”
“Todoroki's following Put Your Hands Up! too? Didn't think this was really your thing?”
The boy huffed. “I like to keep abreast of gossip and Mic is an extreme busybody so he's always got the most dirt on current events to shovel out at 4am.”
“Oh, yeah, gotta get those deets for your various conspiracy theories.”
“It's information gathering and theory crafting.”
“Sure, sure, whatever you say. Anyway let's look for a profile that might be Mr Aizawa—“
A moment of moving between accounts.
“—Mic's following, like, nine thousand accounts! I'm not searching through all these!!”
Todoroki sighed. “Just go through his account until we find someone else we recognise with a reasonable follow count.”
Quickly they found a familiar name and face.
“Midnight's profile reads: 'minors don't interact!!' but it all look fine honestly,” Uraraka pointed out.
“I bet her private account is a whole 'nother story,” Kaminari wagged his eyebrows.
“Aaaaand bingo!” Ashido cheered. “This egg-looking creep is totally Mr Aizawa!”
“Mr Aizawa's account is so...”
“Bland.” Todoroki finished.
Kaminari was not impressed. “Is that seriously the default pfp he's using?”
Ashido scrolled down for some time. “It's just endless retweets of cat videos. Endless scrolling cat vids….”
“He looks like a bot.”
Ashido continued to search around. “He's following so few people… Midnight, Mic, Cementoss, Ms. Joke, a cat café… other UA staff… Ingenium…!”
“Yes!” Iida blurted. “My brother—“
“No,” Ashido turned the screen to face him. “This is you, Iida!”
“Mr Aizawa follows Iida—Iida follows Mr Aizawa!?”
“You could've just told us Mr Aizawa's account this whole time, dude!?”
“It was not my place to say!”“It's a public profile, Iida! It's really not that big of a deal!”
“But still!”
Kaminari cackled. “You're so uptight, dude. You could run so much faster without that stick up your ass.”
“Mr Aizawa has so few tweets for an account this old,” Todoroki pointed out, returning to the matter at hand.
Uraraka pointed at the screen. “But so many likes! Look, he likes pretty much anything Mic, Midnight and Iida's brother tweet!”
“That's… so cute??” Ashido smiled wide.
“But as you can see, Mr Aizawa doesn't interact with me in any way!” Iida pointed out energetically.
“Pwease interwact,” Kaminari wibbled.
“I think he only followed me at the behest of my brother!”
“We're passed that now, dude. You don't have to keep defending yourself,” Ashido rolled her eyes.
They checked the 'likes' tab for a recent conversation.
Midnight
@Ingenium @Present_Mic @Eraserhead
you fellas up for a meetup at the Black Swan tonight?
Present_Mic
that place sucks tho??
Ingenium
that's the bar on your street, right? The place that got temp closed for keeping kiwis
Present_Mic
the cutest cockfighting I ever did see
Midnight
look! Okay! They don't keep the birds anymore so?? it's fine now?
Present_Mic
You only picked that plce so you don't have to climb that hill on your way back home
Midnight
you're not entirely wrong lmao
Present_Mic
my car's in the shop and i'm not climbing that mountain on foot!! how much would it cost to get a taxi 40 feet up the street?
Ingenium
Just get a taxi directly from home?
Present_Mic
lol you think i'm made of money
Midnight
you are made of money
Present_Mic
no I spent it all on my broken car
Ingenium
you're always so dramatic, mic, it's not that steep
Present_Mic
you're in a fucking motorised wheelchair!! that's CHEATING!!!
Ingenium
i'll let you sit on my lap and we can scoot right on up there, no probs
Present_Mic
we'll be there at 8
Iida slammed his palms down on the desk. “I knew brother was drunk that night! Operating a wheelchair on the street whilst intoxicated—how reckless! I'm ashamed on his behalf.”
Ingenium ✜⁆
anyway your car is old as shit it belongs in a museum
Present_Mic
it's VINTAGE asshole that cost me a good mint show some respect!!
Ingenium
it can't even take my wheelchair. You should get a family hatchback
Present_Mic
some of us haven't hit our midlife crisis yet, tensei
Midnight
what's the stripe on it for?
Present_Mic
that's the speed stripe, it makes the car go faster
Midnight
of course it does honey
Present_Mic
ya gotta live life hard and finish fast!
Midnight
If anyone knows anything about finishing fast it's hizashi ;)
Present_Mic
lmaooo shimmied right into that one
Midnight
gg ez
Present_Mic
HARDER BETTER FASTER STRONGER WORK IT HARDER MAKE IT BETTER DO IT FASTER MAKES US STRONGER MORE THAN EVER HOUR AFTER OUR WORK IS NEVER OVER WORK IT MAKE IT DO IT MAKES US HARDER BETTER FASTER STRONGER EVER AFTER WORK IS OVER HARDER BETTER FASTER STRONGER WORK
Ingenium
twitter's character limit is too high
Midnight
lmao
Aizawa's presence was felt in the conversation channelled through each like he had left on every individual comment. After that there was a solid week of Mic relentlessly tagging Aizawa to every cute or funny cat picture and adding his own humourous commentary, usually at Aizawa's expense. Aizawa liked them all but still didn't directly respond.
Snipe_
geeze, All Might replies to one of my tweets and now i'm suddenly wrangling thousands more cowpokes!
Present_Mic
@Snipe_
how're your cowpokes doing anyway?
Snipe_
Rootin' tootin'! How're your listeners?
Present_Mic
Rockin' and rollin'!!
Midnight
@Snipe_ @Present_Mic
my subs are doing fine
Present_Mic
no one asked, nemuri
ALL_MIGHT
@Snipe
I am terribly sorry if i've brought unwanted attention to you, Snipe!
Snipe_
Y'all cool, don't worry bout it
Midnight
@ALL_MIGHT
do you want to be one of my subs, all might?
ALL_MIGHT
I would be delighted to subscribe to your newsletter, Midnight!
Present_Mic
ALL MIGHT PLEASE!!! 😩
“I think Hanta is one of Midnhgit's subs,” Kaminari said thoughtfully.
“Of course he is,” Uraraka rolled her eyes.
They searched further into Aizawa's twitter likes picking out amusing tweets so far back that the endless scrolling began to hitch and freeze up the browser.
Ingenium
@Eraserhead
I showed you my brother, please respond
Attached to the tweet was a picture of a baby with familiar eyebrows.
“Narrator voice: he didn't respond,” Kaminari chuckled.
“He did like it though.”
“I—“ Iida spluttered, “—i'll be having strong words with my brother later!”
“Wow. Between this and the drunken wheelchair-ing it's not gonna be Tensei's night, huh.”
All of this was completely out in the open for the public to see—none of the heroes where hiding anything or revealing anything too personal (not counting Tensei posting that one picture of Iida and boy was Iida's face still red)—so it wasn't like the students were being sneaky or devious about it. It just helped to humanise their teachers and damn where they desperate to humanise one Aizawa Shouta, but past Aizawa Shouta wasn't making it easy…
Ectoplasm
@Midnight
You can't go in there, I put a sign up on the door and everything. I'm begging you publicly on twitter.com to please respect my authority
Midnight
this tweet can't stop me because I can't read
Ectoplasm
Midnight please
Ectoplasm
Midnight please,,,,,
Ectoplasm
I'm begging
Ectoplasm
MIDNIGHT I'm begging! How many of me do you need to beg!?
Ectoplasm
We're begging! Midnight!
Ectoplasm
MIDNIGHT ANSWER US
Whatever the exchange was about it ended there with no reply or any kind of other interaction from Midnight. They could only assume it hadn't gone well for their maths teacher.
There was a recent video posted from Midnight's account. It was a scene In the UA teacher's lounge and the thumbnail showed Eraserhead had Present Mic in a headlock. The video started with a few of the other teachers gathered around watching; Cementoss in particular, who was holding a small and slightly damaged safe, looked partly concerned and partly entertained.
00.00 sec
“Tell me the combination!” Aizawa was shouting.
“Never! I'll never tell! I'm no snitch!” Present Mic replied.
Aizawa visibly tightened his grip. “I will snap your neck.”
“Do it, coward! No one will ever take you seriously if you don't follow through with your threats! Do it, you won't!!”
The camera briefly moved to the door as Snipe entered the room. “Seems like things are going well,” the hero observed dryly then the camera moved back to the scene.
“Neither of us are enjoying this,” Aizawa said threateningly.
“Speak for yourself,” Present Mic grinned.
Aizawa dumped the man on the floor as if he'd been burnt and the whole faculty laughed.
“Shouta's so soft,” Midnight chuckled before Aizawa sharply turned to her and the phone was snatched away. The recoding stopped.
42.26 sec
“Is that the same safe that was in the garbage when we put Minteta where be belonged?”
“The very same.”
“Wonder what was in it...”
“We'll never know.”
“Scrolling, scrolling, scrolling~” Ashido sang as she did just that. “Oh! Other pros!”
MtLady
It's time, ladies and gents and those inbetween!
Best_Jeanist
What time?
MtLady
The billboard auction!
Snipe_
oh no
Best_Jeanist
Ah.
MtLady
aw yisssssss, my first time!
ALL_MIGHT
Oh, dear.
Midnight
Watching all might get passed around like a big ol sweaty, tasty slab of meat is the highlight!
ALL_MIGHT
I'm glad to be of some entertainment.
Snipe_
All Might is sufferin
ALL_MIGHT
No, i'm fine. It's fine.
Best_Jeanist
You're a bad liar
ALL_MIGHT
Do we not have school work to pursue in that time instead? I'm a teacher now. I have obligations to help guide the younger generation!
Snipe_
That excuse ain't workin', partner
Best_Jeanist
It's true, they've tried it before.
Snipe_
But we admire your effort
ALL_MIGHT
Thank you…
Snipe_
it's the one time of the year we're treated to aizawa's smug face
Snipe_
if aizawa participated he'd scare his buyer off the second they meet
Snipe_
just like Kayama does
Midnight
excuse you! I am a PERFECT lady with my clients
Best_Jeanist
This article from last year says otherwise
Midnight
don't you FUCKING DARE
ALL_MIGHT
I'm gathering that Kayama enjoys this yearly event?
Midnight
Oh absolutely NOT
Midnight
you think these vanilla ass normies can handle these goods that they paid for? Pathetic. I bring out the tamest of toys and their happy little tool shrivels like a cooked shrimp
MtLady
ewwwwwww
Snipe_
because you bring them out at the restaurant
Best_Jeanist
“and the police were called to the scene to deal with an obscene object hidden in the blancmange”
Midnight
SHRUGS? It's a party trick that always goes down well ;)
Present_Mic
lol
Midnight
bitch, don't you laugh at us
MtLady
what's funny?
Midnight
This asshole hosts the damn thing so he dosen't get bid on
Present_Mic
lol
Snipe_
can you imagine aizawa's reaction if mic got bought
Snipe_
it's funny how that's the one comment he hasn't liked
Present_Mic
lol
Midnight
BITCH I'M COMIN FOR YOU
“It's almost the billboard auction?” Ashido squealed. “I totally forgot!”
“Midoriya's been trying to persuade us to pool our money and bid for All Might,” Todoroki mentioned.
“But we see All Might every day now?” Kaminari said.
Uraraka looked up, a smile on her face. “It's so we can force All Might to take the night off and rest.”
“That is a splendidly kind gesture,” Iida sternly nodded. “As expected from Midoryia.”
“It's a good idea,” Todoroki agreed. “All Might works very hard. Too hard.”
“I will consult with Yaoyorozu and we shall hold a class meeting ASAP regarding the matter!” Iiida said with finality.
“Hey, Mr Aizawa was the first account Mic followed,” Uraraka then said.
Kaminari choked. “Have you been browsing through his follows this whole time!? Nine thousand accounts!?”
Uraraka scratched the back of her head bashfully. “Their accounts are really old—they must've been some of the earliest users, even Mr Aizawa.”
“These tweets are, like, ten years old now. Mr Aizawa was a lot more chatty back then.”
“The site was a lot less busy then, he probably felt more comfortable,” Todoroki reasonably said.
“Seems like they were still sidekicks back then too,” Kaminari rubbed his head. “This is hella weird to think about. Welp, let's see what the happy-hap was ten years ago!” Kaminari began scrolling.
“Never say that again,” Ashido responded.
Ingenium
@Eraserhead @Present_Mic
Brings back memories, huh?
Eraserhead
What?<
Ingenium
UA's sport’s festival just finished!
Eraserhead
Oh
Present_Mic
IT WAS AWESOME!! sport's festival memories are very special to me
Ingenium
why?
Eraserhead
I kicked his ass
Present_Mic
Best day of my life,,,,,,
Eraserhead
Not our wedding day?
Present_Mic
if you'd have kicked my ass at the altar maybe
Eraserhead
I'm not kicking my almost-husband's ass at the altar
Present_Mic
Yeah that's what the honeymoon was for!!!
Eraserhead
( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)
Present_Mic
(☞ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)☞
Ingenium
Y'all're a damn mess
“… what the heck.”
“It's probably just a joke, you know what Present Mic is like.”
“Yeah, but? Mr Aizawa? Joking?”
“It was ten years ago, you never know.”
Iida cleared his throat a little too loudly. “Anyway, let's move on.”
Midnight
@Present_Mic @Eraserhead
so either of you going to explain these hospital pictures?
Midnight
Which one of you was it
Present_Mic
it was shou
Present_Mic
lmao
Midnight
you're lauging so it wasn't serious then
Present_Mic
it was serious
Eraserhead
it wasn't
Midnight
boys, explain
Eraserhead
it's none of your business
Present_Mic
shou got caught by the short curlies
Eraserhead
HIZASHI
Midnight
LMAO WHAT
Midnight
WHY DO YOU NEED TO GOT TO HOSPITAL FOR THAT???
Present_Mic
I think you underestimate just how tight shou's costume is, I have to practically paint it ontohim
Present_Mic
and how hairy he is. His onesie zipper turned into a full on beartrap with a thirst for body hair
Midnight
omg shouta…..
Eraserhead
I cannot help that my chest is like a shag rug
Present_Mic
quit bragging
Midnight
* runs hands through the fur *
Present_Mic
he called me home and he was just there lyign on the florr stiff as a board cos he can't move without tearing some hair out and I can't do anything either without tearing more hair out
Present_Mic
so he had to be surgically removed from his costume
Present_Mic
and body hair lol
Present_Mic
and he missed patrol too so his boss is having a new costume made for him, a more loose one
Present_Mic
no more speed-o-sound cosplay for you, shou
Eraserhead
@Midnight
I don't know what hizashis saying because i've blocked him
Midnight
@Present_Mic
shouta's blocked you
Present_Mic
again????? lmaooo
Midnight
damn i'll miss ogling those thighs tho 👀
Present_Mic
☝️
“A shag rug...” Ashido breathed.
“Do we regret this now?” Iida irritably asked.
“No!” Ashido instantly replied.
“No,” Todoroki also replied.
“No way!” Kaminari.
Uraraka shook her head.
Iida sagged in defeat.
Present_Mic
@Eraserhead @Ingenium
everything's sorted, let's get this party staaarted!
Eraserhead
wait, before we go I have to text the cat
Ingenium
you have to text the cat
Eraserhead
yes the cat
Ingenium
the cat has a phone?
Eraserhead
The cat has a phone
Ingenium
hizashi?
Present_Mic
The cat has a phone
Ingenium
wow, shouta's really beaten all the fight outta ya, huh
Present_Mic
maybe the cat has important business
Eraserhead
she has important business and I have to keep her updated
Present_Mic
exactly, tensei
Ingenium
I'm so sorry, hizashi
Eraserhead
she didn't reply
Present_Mic
OF COURSE SHE DIDN'T REPLY SHE'S A CAT
Eraserhead
but I think she's good
Ingenium
I want her number, I demand it
Eraserhead
DM'd
Present_Mic
not you too, tensei,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Ingenium
thanks! Gonna set this as her pfp
image attached
Eraserhead
good
Eraserhead
now Zashi you're the only one without her number
Present_Mic
there's something wrong with you
Eraserhead
;3
“Oh… my god, the emoticon,” Ashido squealed.
“I want to know her name,” Todoroki said.
“I want her number!” Uraraka cooed.
MISTER_blaster
@Present_Mic
I know your weeny ass has me blocked but I have to appear like i'm publicly doing my job. The committee needs to know if Aizawa will RSVP the class reunion and if he's having chicken or beef
Present_Mic
@MISTER_blaster
You know shou doesn't do class reunions
MISTER_blaster
oh shit, it worked!!!
MISTER_blaster
so is he coming or what? Beef or chicken?
MISTER_blaster
The whole class has RSVP'd this year except him
Present_Mic
Shou's not coming, I will be
Present_Mic
chicken
MISTER_blaster
p. sure it's cannibalism if you eat chicken
Present_Mic
i'm gonna beat you to death with your own ham hands
MISTER_blaster
whatever ya say, stick insect
Present_Mic
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-E6ljLSOkbY
MISTER_blaster
MY SPEAKERS BLEW OUT ASSHOLE
Present_Mic
rad
MISTER_blaster
I can see the likes on Yamada's tweets, Aizawa, i know you losers r talkin
Present_Mic
alright we're done here
Present_Mic
To answer the question, no Shouta will not be coming, yes I will be coming to represent Shouta. Nemuri will be coming to represent Oboro. As is the arrangement every year.
MISTER_blaster
yeah, yeah, I know. M jus doin my job. Tell Aizawa that he's welcome to come any year. Or not I guess whatever.
Present_Mic
ok, thanks sensouji
MISTER_blaster
np np
MISTER_blaster
and now that you've unblocked me apparently
- you can no longer send messages to Present_Mic -
MISTER_blaster
@MISTER_blaster
YOU NASALLY BITCH
“Another friend?” Ashido cocked her head. “We've not seen another person interacting with Mr Aizawa.”
“Intriguing...” Todoroki stoked his chin.
“Todoroki, no!” Uraraka and Iida simultaneously reprimanded.
“Yes?” the boy asked innocently as he types some notes into his phone.
“Do not look further into this matter,” Iida continued. “Let's check on some other tweets, yes.”
Kaminari cupped his hand around his mouth, “I think he's trying to distract us,” he whispered to Todoroki who nodded. But they allowed it.
Eraserhead
@Midnight
Nemuri, I want you to know that i'm very grateful that you are my friend
Midnight
what
Eraserhead
I appreciate our friendship
Midnight
whatever you want i'm not doing it
Eraserhead
I mean it! The time we've spent together is precious to me.
Midnight
Holy shit you're dying
Eraserhead
i'm not dying! I'm being sincere!
Midnight
Is Hizashi planning your funeral? I call best man!
Ingenium
@Midnight @Eraserhead
There isn't a best man at a funeral
Midnight
There will be at this one and it's me! right Shouta!?
Eraserhead
I'm not dying, i'm bearing my soul to my friends
Present_Mic
@Midnight @Eraserhead @Inegenium
Shou is drunk as a skunk
Eraserhead
Incorrect
Midnight
figures. The only time he's honest
Present_Mic
what're y'all do—ah, planning the funeral. I'll DJ!
Eraserhead
You can DJ at your own funeral after I kill you
Present_Mic
pre record a show? OKKKK GOTCHA!
Present_Mic
Oh we could have matching funerals!!!
Midnight
his and hers funerals
Midnight
tensei you can be best man at Hizashi's funeral
Ingenium
Again, there is NOT a best man at a funeral!
Eraserhead
Tensei, you have been nothing but a stable presence in my life and I would like to thank you profusely. Thank you for being my friend.
Ingenium
Oh. Geeze, Shouta. I'm happy that you're my friend too.
Present_Mic
🥺?
Eraserhead
I love you
Present_Mic
rfgrfhtdjht/.trsjht
Ingenium
Now he's actually dead
Midnight
get your best man suit ready, tensei!
Ingenium
…….. fine
“I feel as if this is too much enlightenment,” Todoroki muttered.
“Mr Aizawa drunk tweeting in public. Wild.”
“Just out in public, huh? It's—uh! Someone just liked the tweet!” Kaminari pointed at the screen. The blank heart was now pink.
“OH NO, OH NO! I SCREWED UP!”
“Ashido!?” Uraraka gasped.
“I liked it!”
Todoroki slapped his forehead. “Ashido!”
“Mr Aizawa's gonna get the notif!” Uraraka flapped her hands around in a panic. “He'll know we've been looking!”
“YOU'VE KILLED US ALL, ALIEN QUEEN!” Kaminari screamed.
“I'm unliking it, i'm trying to undo it! I got too excited, it's not my fault!!”
“He may not be online at the moment,” Iida said deceptively evenly.
Kaminari snapped to the most recent tweets. “Oh, he sure is. Look!”
“From five minutes ago,” Uraraka breathed. “Mr Aizawa's first tweets in ten years...”
Eraserhead
@Present_Mic @Midnight @Cementoss @Snipe_ @13thirteen & others
someone please lend assistance
Eraserhead
anyone please
Present_Mic
whats your hell class done now?
Present_Mic
tweet removed
Present_Mic
tweet removed
Present_Mic
tweet removed
Eraserhead
this isn't dms, hizashi
Present_Mic
shit
Midnight
i'll be there asap
Eraserhead
thank you
Midnight
you understand i'm blowing off a “session” to help you, yes?
Eraserhead
I'm sorry, I appreciate it
Eraserhead
I can physically feel my hair greying
Present_Mic
lol shou you're old
Eraserhead
if i'm getting a grey streak then so are you, we're the same age
Present_Mic
oh sweet! I could style it into my do! Like a racing stripe!
Present_Mic
And also i'm not going grey because i'm not old fuvk off
The small group put their panic on a short hiatus.
“Wait... what're Midoriya and Bakugou doing!?” Kaminai asked.
“We just assume it's Bakugou and Midoriya,” Todoroki replied.
Everyone stared at him.
“Yeah, I know.”
Iida watched as his classmates all rushed out of the room to go observe the incident that was occurring that required the attention of multiple teachers. Before he followed he took his phone out.
Iida_Tenya
@Eraserhead
I would like to formally apologise on behalf of a certain subset of my classmates and myself for snooping into your personal business. The 'like' that was briefly left on your public confession was highly unprofessional for pro-heroes in training and furt
1/5 replies
Eraserhead
the what