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Things were different.
Not bad different, just not like how they used to be. Nobody besides Lena and probably Kara could tell, but ever since Lena had broken down and forgiven Kara from keeping her identity a secret, their friendship had changed.
And Lena wasn't quite sure if it was a good or bad thing.
That’s not to say it hadn't been a struggle to get here. God. Forgiving Kara had been one of the hardest things that she'd ever done. Lena convinced herself it would never happen, that she wouldn't allow herself to break down and forget the past four years of fake excuses and broken trust. But, when she saw Kara after almost three months of complete silence, sitting cross-legged on her apartment balcony, her head in her hands and tears streaming down her face, Lena let herself be weak for just one second. And that turned into two, then ten and suddenly Kara was sitting on her couch with a mug of her favourite tea that Lena still kept in her cupboard and poured her heart out.
She let Kara explain her reasons as to why she kept it a secret. It was the same as before, when Kara had told her the first time around, but Lena listened this time without the hazy cloud of anger she felt before. She heard what Kara was saying and, in a way, she sympathised with her. After all, Lena would have done anything to keep Kara in her life, the same way Kara had done.
It hadn't occurred to Lena until much later that it wasn't weakness to forgive her best friend. It was simply love. It was the same love that she felt for Sam as she stopped at nothing to save her from Reign. The same love she felt for Brainy as they offered each other support and worked together to save Supergirl.
Or at least, it was the same love.
Lena had never felt the overwhelming urge to be around Sam or Brainy all the time . She had never counted the amount of times she made them smile or laugh and memorised the sound of it just because she was absolutely captivated by it. Their hugs had never been as warm or comforting as Kara's were.
That was the newly developed distinction between Kara and all the other people that Lena loved. She wasn't exactly sure what it meant. Perhaps it was merely a new level of friendship, the missing puzzle piece that fell into place once Kara told her the truth and Lena finally forgave her. Or, maybe it was something different all together. But that was a theory Lena decided to bury deep down. There was no need to disrupt the soil that just settled.
So, yes . Things were different. Still, Lena wasn't entirely opposed to change.
Over the course of the next few months, Lena had come to the realisation that Kara was in fact still lying to her.
Well, lying probably wasn’t the right term. More like, unintentionally - and sometimes intentionally - failing to mention certain things that Lena thought she, as Kara's newly reappointed best friend, deserved to know.
Not that Lena could blame her. Maybe if Lena had paid more attention before, or if she had spent more time around Kara, she would have picked up on all these different things.
The first time it happened, Lena stood outside Kara’s apartment, her phone in her hand and her eyebrows drawn together. She texted Kara twenty minutes ago, letting her know that she was on her way with a late dinner. Usually, Kara would be opening the door before Lena got the chance to knock, probably being able to hear Lena as soon as she stepped into the building. But now, Lena had been knocking for a few minutes, confused as to where Kara was.
Lena ran through a list of possibilities as to why Kara wasn’t opening the door. One, she could have been called out as Supergirl to inevitably save the day again. Two, maybe she ran out to the store to pick up something. Or three, what if she changed her mind and just didn’t want to see Lena anymore? Pushing that last thought away, Lena glanced down at her phone again, reading over the last message Kara had sent.
Kara (8:23pm): See you soon!
Kara (8:23pm): BTW I’m not letting you in if you don't have potstickers :/
It was nearing 9pm now and Lena was considering calling the reporter to find out where exactly she was before she heard a clutter from inside Kara’s apartment. It sounded as though something had dropped on the ground and it made Lena’s heart rate pick up.
What if Kara was in trouble?
With that thought, Lena reached into her bag, pulling out a spare key that Kara had given her months ago as a way to get in when she wasn’t home. Lena rarely used it, most of the time she’d go to the apartment, Kara would be there, waiting to let her in. But now, she quickly put it into the lock, turning it and swinging the door open, tempted to clutch the bottle of pepper spray in her bag.
Instead of any kind of danger, Lena saw something entirely different; Kara wearing a pair of headphones, washing dishes in the sink while bobbing her head to the music that Lena could softly hear from the doorway.
God, the volume must have been all the way up.
Of course National Cities caped hero did something as mundane as washing dishes while listening to music at full blast. The sight made Lena’s heart melt. It wasn’t unusual to see Kara like this; dressed in soft sweats paired with a worn NCU t-shirt. But lately, seeing Kara like this, it had been making Lena feel things. Soft things. Things like a completely unrealistic future with the blonde. Things like this was exactly what she wanted to come home to every single night.
Lena stopped herself before she could break her own heart. She was about to call out Kara’s name to get her attention before her words got cut off, replaced by Kara’s voice.
She was singing.
How, in their almost three years of friendship had, Lena never heard Kara sing? Sure, there had been times in which Lena turned down the idea of going out to karaoke with her friends in favour for catching up on work, but she never thought she was missing out on anything. It was clear now, that she had in fact been missing out.
Kara’s voice was soft and melodic. Lena was pretty sure she had heard the song before, it was one Kara had recommended to her not so long ago. Hozier, Lena recalled. Kara made her listen to him in the car once, citing that it was a part of Lena’s ‘Irish culture’ as she put it. Lena rolled her eyes at the comment, but later that night she fell asleep to Cherry Wine on repeat.
Like then, Lena was captured by the song, specifically how it sounded with Kara’s voice. She thought maybe, it sounded better coming from Kara. Sweeter and more heartfelt.
After a few moments, Lena decided she spent a few seconds too long looking and listening, so she called out Kara’s name. It got no response, much to Lena’s surprise. Trust her best friend to have super hearing and still not be able to hear Lena over her music.
“Kara?” Lena said again, a smile playing on her face.
When she was met once again with no response, Lena grabbed the closest thing to her- a discarded pillow - and chucked it at Kara, watching as it hit her square in the back.
That most definitely got a response. Kara spun around, wide eyes starting to glow orange, hands covered in suds and holding a scrub that was dripping water onto the floor.
“Lena!” Kara said, bringing her hand to her chest as if to calm herself down and moving her headphones to rest on her neck. “Geez! You scared the life out of me.” Kara pointed the scrub in Lena’s direction like she was accusing her of something much worse.
“Sorry, you weren’t answering the door and then you couldn’t hear me over your music.” Lena explained while moving towards the kitchen, setting the food on the table and shrugging off her jacket. “I got you potstickers though.”
Kara reached for a dish cloth, drying her hands on it and opening a cupboard to grab some plates. “Have I ever told you that you’re my favourite person ever?” Kara asked. She offered Lena a small smile, letting her know that what she said wasn’t all sarcastic. Kara had told her on multiple occasions that Lena was her favourite person. It was a new concept for Lena, never having experienced being anyone’s favourite anything before she met Kara.
Lena hummed. “I’m your favourite person, but you never told me you could sing?” She asked with a raised brow.
A blush instantly spread across Kara’s face, not realising that Lena had caught her having a moment. “I can’t sing…”
Lena looked up at Kara, rolling her eyes slightly with a smirk. “Oh so what you were doing before I threw that pillow at you, that wasn’t singing?”
Kara shook her head, letting out a puff of breath. “Nope, that was… speaking?” She said, her pitch high as Lena just laughed at her. “Fine. I was singing. So what?”
Lena simply shrugged her shoulders while reaching into the bag and setting the boxes of food on the table. “You sound really good, is all.” Lena said it without the sarcasm so that Kara would know she was being serious.
Kara’s face softened at the compliment, her blush deepening as she took her own box of food and emptied it on her plate. It was a look that Lena could never get tired of; Kara looking bashful. She’d seen it so many times in Supergirl - even before Lena knew it was Kara - when she would look soft and grateful anytime someone thanked her for saving them or praised her for doing a good job at stopping the bad guys.
As much as Lena loved seeing it in Supergirl, she much preferred it in Kara. There was a difference in the two, maybe that’s why it took Lena so long to connect the dots. It was so clear now, like different sides of the same coin.
“Thank you.” Kara replied in a small voice.
It reminded Lena to push down those feelings, to act like her heart wasn’t clenching at how adorable Kara is. To pretend as if she looked at Kara as nothing more than a friend.
Clearing her throat, Lena took a seat on the stool next to the table. “So, will you serenade me?”
That drew a laugh out of Kara, making her reach up and fiddle with her glasses out of habit. “Shut up, Lena.”
Lena just smiled smugly. “What? Can’t I have a performance with my dinner?” She laughed.
Kara leaned down, grabbed the pillow that Lena had thrown at her before and swung it into Lena’s side. “You’re so annoying.”
The second admission Kara told Lena was not long after lying straight to her face.
“No, I haven’t seen your hoodie.”
It happened while they were in Lena’s apartment, catching up after a long week and watching whatever movie popped up on her Netflix.
Lena had been cold and got up to search for one very specific hoodie that she always wore during this time of year, but tended to forget about when the warmer months came around. Lo and behold, she couldn’t find it anywhere. It was strange, it was one of Lena’s favourite hoodies to wear around the house and yet, it was nowhere to be seen.
When she asked Kara about it, she denied having ever seen it. Lena pointed her eyes at Kara, the telltale sign of a little crinkle on her forehead giving it away. But, Kara was adamant, suggesting things like ‘maybe you donated it’ and ‘the fairies must’ve taken it’.
It didn’t sit well with Lena though, she knew something was up. Being too tired to fight it, she let it go in favour of grabbing a blanket and settling down with a bowl of popcorn while resting her head on her friend's shoulder.
A few weeks went by and Lena showed up unannounced at Kara’s apartment, exhausted from work and in need of a hug. Well, a specific hug from a certain person - but said person didn’t have to know that.
As soon as Kara swung the door open, Lena saw it.
Her hoodie.
The one Kara knew ‘absolutely nothing about’.
“Lena! I wasn’t expecting you!” Kara said, opening the door wider and allowing Lena to enter.
Lena looked her up and down. “Clearly.” She replied. Lena walked into the apartment with her lips pushed and faux anger on her face.
It was obvious Kara knew something was wrong, her face giving away all her emotions. Lena almost felt bad. Anytime she had acted like this in front of Kara, it usually ended in a fight about over secret identities. But that was all in the past and now Kara’s nervous energy could be felt surrounding them.
“What’s wrong?” Kara asked, worry laced in her voice. Her eyes were wide, trying to figure out what she had done to upset the Luthor.
Lena just turned to face her, her hands on her hips. “I thought we promised no more lies.” It was admittedly difficult to keep a straight face. Part of Lena wanted to laugh at the kicked puppy look that Kara was showing, the other part wanted to pull her into her arms and apologise, tell her nothing was wrong and that it was only a joke.
But, Lena being a Luthor and all, gave into her genes.
“I- I haven’t been lying Lena, I promise.” Kara stuttered over her words. “I swear on my life.” Kara looked as though she was on the verge of tears, clearly not knowing what was happening.
Lena moved closer to her and raised an eyebrow. “Is that so?” They were face-to-face now and Lena could see Kara’s jaw clenching. She raised her hand and pointed a finger to Kara’s chest, feeling the soft material of her hoodie under it. Kara, still not picking up on it, glanced down and Lena’s finger on her chest before looking back up. Lena could have sworn her eyes paused at her lips for a second, but she shook that thought away, instead using her thumb and finger to bunch the hoodie. “What’s this then?”
Realisation dawned on Kara’s face, followed by a wave of relief as she tilted her head back and let out a puff of air. “Are you serious?” She said. “Lena! I was genuinely worried for a second.”
Lena took a step back, laughing at how long it took Kara to realise she was joking. “Why, are you actually hiding something from me?” She teased.
Lena noted the slightest blush appeared on Kara’s cheeks. Interesting. She decided not to ask, trusting that if Kara did have something that she was hiding from Lena, it was either private or for her own good.
“Of course not.” Kara answered in a soft voice.
Lena hummed. “So, why did you lie about having my hoodie?”
The blush deepened on Kara’s face. “I ugh…” Kara looked up like she was trying to figure out a good reason as to why she had taken Lena’s hoodie. “You let me borrow it before, you know…”
Before they had a fight and didn't talk for months.
Kara let out a sigh, pulling the sleeves of the hoodie down and over her hands as if she’d done it a hundred times before. “You gave it to me and I was gonna give it back, I promise, but then we stopped talking and…” She took a breath before continuing. “And it still smelt like you.”
Oh.
Well, that definitely struck a chord in Lena’s chest.
The idea that Kara took comfort in the smell of Lena’s clothes while they were fighting made Lena want to go back in time and comfort Kara herself. “Well,” Lena said, clearing her throat to get rid of the sudden ambush of emotions coming to the surface, “It is my favourite hoodie.”
“Here, you can have it back.”
Suddenly, Kara was lifting the article of clothing over her head. Lena was about to stop her before she realised Kara wasn’t wearing a shirt under it.
Lena stood, completely unmoving and eyes glued to Kara’s torso. She was wearing a simple sports bra - thank god , Lena wouldn’t have survived if she hadn’t been - but it still made her mouth go dry.
Maybe, Lena thought, maybe Kara actually was carved from stone by some Kryptonian god. It sure as hell looked that way. Kara was all toned muscle, Lena wondered for a second if it was humanly possible to get abs like that or if it was just a benefit from being an alien. And her biceps. Fuck. No one could blame her for being a little bit obsessed with them. But paired with the rest of Kara’s body was just doing something to Lena and she felt dizzy.
“Keep it.” Lena croaked out, needing Kara to put the hoodie back on before she did something that best friends are definitely not supposed to do.
“Really?” Kara replied, a smile spreading on her face. She quickly put the hoodie back on and Lena let out a quiet breath of relief. As much as she enjoyed the view, Lena didn’t want to do something stupid that would ruin their friendship.
“It’s all yours.”
Kara let out a joyful ‘yes!’ and proceeded to pull the hood up, tightening the strings until Lena could hardly see her face. “So you wanna order food?”
Time number three was a bit different.
Lena had shown up to game night, a bottle of overly expensive wine in hand and already able to hear the chatter from inside Alex and Kelly’s apartment.
It was Alex that opened the door, ushering her in and clearly just the tiniest bit tipsy already. Lena glanced over at her friends. Brainy and Nia were arguing with Winn about something, Brainy’s hand dramatically flying around. Kelly was in the middle of refilling a bowl with some kind of unhealthy junk food that Lena would undoubtedly indulge in after a glass of wine or two. And Kara - well, Kara was staring directly at her from the moment she walked in, a soft smile on her face making Lena feel instantly at ease.
Lena thought it would be weird getting back to how things used to be before everything happened between her and Kara. She was convinced all their friends would side with the reporter, having known her longer and whatnot. But, much to her surprise, that never happened. Even when she was avoiding Kara at all costs, Alex still checked up on her. Brainy still worked with her on projects, Nia still sent her stupid but hilarious memes, Kelly still offered her advice.
It had made Lena realise that they weren’t just Kara’s friends, they were Lena’s as well. It was something she’d never had before and it reaffirmed that National City was her home.
“Lena!” Kara said, standing up from the couch and making her way over to where she stood. “I’ve missed you.” Kara took the bottle from her hand, setting it on the counter before wrapping her arms around Lena’s middle and pulling her in for a hug.
It took a moment for Lena to respond. She was never a touchy person before she met Kara, even when they first became friends, Lena was shocked by the amount of times Kara would pull her in or rest her hand on her leg - basically all forms of touch. When they got closer, Lena got used to it, always reciprocated it and sometimes even initiated it. But now, it was different. It felt almost too intimate to do in front of their friends, like they were sharing a private moment and Lena didn’t want anyone else to see.
Nonetheless, Lena snaked her arms around Kara’s middle, resting her head on her shoulder. “You saw me two days ago.” Lena laughed. Sure, in those two days she had also missed Kara, despite the copious amounts of texts they’d sent each other, but she almost felt silly for admitting that.
“Exactly. Way too long.” Kara replied in her ear. They pulled back after the hug lasted a few seconds too long and Kara went over to the counter, pouring Lena a glass of wine. “How was work?”
An hour later, Lena was comfortably tipsy, with Kara pressed into her side as Nia was focusing on slowly pulling out a block in the jenga tower. It was proving to be a difficult task as the young reporter was sufficiently drunk herself. That’s when Lena caught Alex’s eye from across the room, glinting with something mischievous.
Just as Nia was about to wiggle the block of wood out, Alex raised her foot and pushed it forward. It wasn’t overly hard, but enough to send Nia flying into the tower, causing the blocks to spill all over the table and floor.
“Alex!” Nia yelled.
Kara doubled over in a laugh as a playful fight broke out between the group. Winn and Nia were complaining as Alex argued her foot ‘slipped’ and Brainy was fumbling his way through an explanation as to why it technically wasn’t against the rules and that his team should get a point.
Even as everything was unfolding in front of her, Lena couldn’t help but watch Kara. Why did she have to be so goddamn pretty when she laughed. It was too distracting, in Lena’s opinion. Far too distracting.
Kara eventually caught her staring. She was still giggling, but it soon faded out into a wide smile, directed at Lena.
“Kelly, you’re the only actual adult here, do they get a point or not?” Winn asked, breaking Lena from the bubble she and Kara had surrounded themselves in.
“We’re all adults, Winn. Surely you should know that.” Brainy replied, confused. Nia pressed a kiss into his cheek and whispered ‘honey no…’ when he didn’t understand.
Kelly looked around at all the expectant eyes on her. “Well…” She started, clearly trying to avoid another fight breaking out. “All’s fair in love and war, Alex and Brainy get the point.”
Another round of shouts erupted from Nia and Winn as Alex stuck her tongue out in a way Lena’s seen her do so many times at Kara.
“That’s not fair, Kelly is in love with Alex and is completely biased.” Nia resorted, unwilling to give up the point. “They would do anything to make each other happy.”
Alex let out a laugh at that. “At least we're not as bad as Kara, she sneaks out every night to L-Corp and-”
“Alex!” Kara suddenly interrupts.
The movement jolts Lena from her place at Kara’s side, making frown at the loss of warmth. There was heavy tension in the room now. Obviously Alex was about to say something Kara didn’t want her to and the secrecy made Lena fidget.
What did Kara do at L-Corp every night?
Lena couldn’t come up with a reasonable answer in her head, instead turning to Kara with an expectant look on her face. Kara’s hand went up to her glasses, a nervous habit Lena had picked up on the first time they met. There was something Kara was keeping from Lena and it involved her company.
“I’m gonna get more popcorn…” Kara said, standing up as everyone in the room was quiet. When she left, Lena considered asking Alex what she was about to say, but that idea was quickly shot down when she saw Alex’s face looking a bit more sober and regretful.
But, Lena couldn’t let it go. She stood up to and followed Kara into the kitchen. Behind her, she could hear Winn asking what just happened.
Kara was standing by the counter, her hands gripped on to the side. It was clear she was trying to not let her strength get the better off her and accidentally rip through the wood.
“Kara?” Lena asked gently. She didn’t want to push, but a part of her was desperate to know. “What’s going on?”
She heard Kara let out a sigh, turning to face Lena and resting her back against the counter. “It’s nothing, Lena.” She answered.
Lena didn’t know what to do with that. Something told her it wasn’t ‘ nothing’ and the idea that Kara was keeping it from her was making Lena anxious.
“Kara, we said no more secrets, remember?” Lena pleaded. She knew it wasn’t going to be anything bad. Kara wasn’t capable of doing something to intentionally hurt Lena, they both knew that.
Kara let out another sigh, looking defeated. “Okay.” She started, pushing herself from the counter and wringing her hands together. “A while back, I was on patrol. I passed L-Corp and saw something on the side of it.” Kara sounded hesitant to say the rest. “It was graffiti that was kinda mean about you, so I painted the wall and left. But, every night since then, someone keeps doing it and every night, I cover it up before you can see.”
Well, Lena wasn’t expecting that.
Kara really went out of her way to protect Lena from getting hurt. How did she ever find a friend so perfect? It shouldn’t really surprise her, though, Kara has always been this kind of person.
“Kara, you didn’t have to do that…”
It’s something that Lena’s never really experienced before; having someone there to protect her from little things. She never got it from her mother or from Lex. They always told her to deal with things on her own, that no one would be there to look out for her in the real world. And then she met Kara and god were they wrong.
“I did.” Kara said. She looked at Lena as though she would break if she moved too fast. “You don’t deserve what those people say about you. They’ll never know how amazing you are and how much you’ve done for everyone.”
Lena could feel tears welling up in the corner of her eyes.
Fuck.
She knew not to let her emotions get to her, but it was basically impossible with Kara around. It was always something small, remembering a little detail about Lena that she herself had forgotten about, knowing exactly how she was feeling and what to do, covering up hurtful graffiti. It was those things that got to Lena the most. That made her want to cry, to scream, to just tell Kara absolutely everything she was feeling.
But, that was never an option.
“I’ll set up a security system, you don’t have to do that anymore.” Lena replied, clenching her jaw and trying not to let everything out. “But thank you, Kara. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
Kara reached out, pulling Lena into a hug just like she had before, this time without prying eyes. Lena felt her body sag into Kara’s, moulding into the comfortable shape of her.
“What are friends for?”
And that’s exactly why Lena didn’t have the option of saying how she truly felt.
The fourth time it happened, it was more of an unintentional thing that Kara had never mentioned.
And, in all fairness, it wasn’t Kara’s fault either.
Kara showed up at L-Corp, suggesting that they take advantage of the sunny weather and have lunch in the park. Lena, not being one to say no to Kara, agreed and found herself half an hour later trying to suppress a smile as Kara rambled on about a new donut shop that had opened close to her apartment. Lena had been content to just listen, the sound of her friend's voice easing the headache that was pushing through her head after three board meetings.
Kara was in the middle of describing what she deemed ‘ the best donut of her life’ when she stopped out of the blue. Curious, Lena looked over, only to have Kara grab onto her arm excitedly and point towards the small pond.
“Look Lena! A turtle!” Lena scrunched her eyebrows together. Why on earth would there be a turtle in the middle of a National City park? She moved her eyes to where Kara was pointed and saw a frog.
A frog.
Lena let out a laugh. “I think you mean a frog.”
Kara dropped her hand and looked at Lena with confusion. “No, I mean a turtle.” She said again. “See? Right there.”
Lena looked from Kara to the frog.
Sometimes, Lena thought, sometimes having a friend that grew up on a different planet was the best thing ever. “Kara darling, that’s a frog.”
Kara looked completely and utterly shocked, like she didn’t believe what Lena was telling her. “No, Alex told me that’s a turtle. We used to catch them when we were younger.”
Ah. Alex.
That made sense. Lena should have guessed that Alex would have taken advantage of the fact Kara had to learn everything about Earth as a teen from a different planet. It made Lena wonder what else Alex had convinced Kara of.
“I hate to tell you, but Alex was lying. That’s definitely a frog.” Lena said, smiling at how adorable Kara looked with her face scrunched up
Kara let out a puff of air and put her hands on her hips. “Well then what the heck is a turtle?”
Lena couldn’t help but roll her eyes and laugh. God, she really was in love with an idiot.
Kara’s final confession happened when Lena least expected it.
It was midday and Lena had just got off an overseas investment call. She’d already been having a long day. It started with Jess calling in with a family emergency and needing the day off, something she rarely does. Lena was happy to have her stay off as long as she needed, but a day without her secretary was proving to be chaotic and difficult. Then, her morning call with an oversea’s investor was screwed up due to a poor internet connection on their end. And finally, she had to cancel her plans to see Kara in the afternoon because of an issue in the L-Corp labs.
So, no one could blame her when she poured an extra large glass of whiskey despite the early hour.
It happened just as Lena was about to put in an order for lunch. The door to her balcony shattered, sending shards of glass in every direction. The suddenness of it dazed Lena and it took a few seconds for her to come to her senses. When she eventually did, she saw a man who had clearly been modified somehow with robot-like arms stretching out from his back, a metal mask covering his face and his chest glowing green, standing right in the middle of her office.
Lena instantly knew what was happening, it wasn’t the first time after all. In fact, she’d lost count of how many assassination attempts she had gone through at this point.
“Lillian has been trying to reach you.” The man's voice came out distorted, clearly trying to conceal his identity.
Of course it was Lillian, Lena thought. Who else would it be? Actually, there was a long list of people who wanted Lena dead, now that she thought about it. Yet, Lillian was always at the top of that list ever since she left Metropolis to share her home with a Kryptonian, ever since she testified against her brother, ever since she pointed a gun at Lex’s chest and pulled the trigger.
It wasn’t surprising, really. Tiring if anything.
Although, it didn’t stop the pang of fear shooting through Lena’s chest. What if this was the time Lillian was finally successful?
“I suppose she sent you to kill me?” Lena asked, already knowing the answer.
It was times like this when part of her wished she’d stayed away, that she hadn’t taken over LuthorCorp and decided to change it from Lex’s little world destruction project to a company that helps save lives. And, while this whole assassination thing wasn’t entirely new to Lena, she still felt a surge of sadness at the thought that Lillian hated her so much that she wanted her dead.
Yet, Lena wouldn’t go back and change things if she could. If she never moved to National City with the hopes of making a difference, she never would have taken Lex down or saved countless lives. She wouldn’t have met Kara.
Despite everything, it was all worth it just to have known Kara, even just as a friend.
“She wanted me to tell you that she’s going to destroy everything you’ve worked for.” As he said it, he used one of the modified arms to send a blast through a wall that was marked with a large L. The sound of it made Lena’s ears ring, the smell of smoke and burnt rubble filling her nose.
Lena tried not to fling, to show any signs of weakness, she knew that’s what Lillian wanted. Instead, she stood from her chair and put her hands on her desk. “Why doesn’t she tell me herself then?”
The man let out a laugh, his distorted voice crackling in Lena’s ears. “You aren’t worth her time.”
Before she could process that thought, the man was charging towards her, his green chest glowing with the unmistakable took of kryptonite. Lena quickly moved from her place, thankful that she’d taken her heels off before - running in heels was never a good option - and ran to the door out of her office.
Just as she was reaching for the handle, the door burst open and the unmistakable colours of blue and red flew past Lena.
“Kara! He has kryptonite!” Lena yelled, but it was too late, Kara had already tackled the man to the ground, ripping out the green stone in his chest as her veins glowed the same colour.
It was clear that the stone in his chest was the thing that gave the man his strength and in the act of pulling it out, it somehow powered him down and he fell unconscious. Even though Kara didn’t give him the chance to fight back, she still looked as though he had put up a good fight. Her body looked weak, her hands grasping at the floor in an attempt to stay up right and her chest heaving.
Lena ran to Kara, dropping on her knees and reaching up to place a hand on her face. “Kara that was so stupid.” She said while tears welled up in her eyes at the sight of Kara in pain.
“He was going to hurt you, Lena.” Kara panted out, her face scrunched up in pain.
“And now you’re hurt because of me.”
Lena hated this. She hated that she always brought pain to the people she loved. It was like everything she touched turned bad. Part of her was shocked that Kara had stayed around so long.
“It’s worth it.” Kara replied, her hand stretching out to match Lena’s and caressing her face. “You’re worth it, Lena. Besides, it doesn’t hurt that much.”
Lena smiled, the tears finally dropping to her cheeks. “That’s a lie.” She was referring to both statements. Lena knew she wasn’t worth Kara’s pain, she thought, maybe Kara would eventually give up on her, tired of the needless hurt that Lena was unintentionally causing. The thought made her hands shake a little harder. “Come on, I’ll call Alex and get you to the DEO.”
An hour later, Kara’s skin was glowing under the light of the sunbed as she was chattering mindlessly to Alex who was filling out the arrest forms for Lillian’s goon. Lena hadn’t spoken much since arriving at the DEO, but insisted that she stay by Kara’s side until she was one hundred percent sure the reporter was alright.
She felt endlessly guilty. Kara got hurt and it was Lena’s fault. She was a dangerous person to be around simply because people wanted her dead and because of that, everyone she cared about was at risk.
“Okay, you’re cleared to go, but I’ve taken you off Supergirl duties for the night. You need to rest.” Alex explained to Kara as she examined Kara for any left over Kryptonite in her blood.
Kara, unsurprisingly, seemed as happy as ever, acting as though she didn’t just almost die and wore a beaming smile on her face. She sat upright on the sunbed as Alex finished up her tests and left the room to find Jon.
“You didn’t have to stay here, you know.” Kara said, pulling Lena from her ever so slightly self-deprecating thoughts.
Lena glanced over at Kara with a tight lipped smile, trying not to show how much it pained her seeing Kara hurt. “You saved my life, Kara, for like the hundredth time. The least I could do is make sure you’re alright.”
Actually, Lena thought, the least she could do was move away from National city and stop putting the person she loves at risk because of her. But, seeing the way Kara coped with not having Lena in her life for a few months after their fight, she knew that moving would hurt Kara just as much.
And, part of Lena would die in the process of not seeing Kara again.
“Well, I appreciate it.” Kara replied softly.
“Come on, I’ll take you home.” Lena offered. She had a copious amount of work to do, the rest of her day was supposed to be jam packed even before the attack. But, none of that mattered anymore. All Lena wanted to do was be close to Kara and make sure nothing else happened. Besides, there was a gaping hole in her office anyway.
Kara nodded her head with a grateful look on her face. It seemed as though she wanted Lena to stay as well. As Kara pulled on her shoes, Lena had a thought.
“How do you always show up exactly when I need you?” Lena asked with furrowed brows. “It’s like, you could be in a completely different country and still show up at the right moment.”
It was something Lena had been wondering for a while now, but never thought to ask.
A light blush suddenly spread across Kara’s face and Lena knew then that her impeccable timing wasn’t just a coincidence. “I-I don’t know.” Kara stammered. Lena narrowed her eyes, sensing clearly that Kara was lying. A few seconds pass with the blonde refusing to look Lena in the eyes before she eventually sighs and gives up the truth. “Fine, sometimes when I’m bored or stressed or just… not having a good day, I listen to your heartbeat.”
The admission made Lena’s heart clench.
“It just calms me down, I guess. And it’s really easy to pick out, so I can always tell when you’re in trouble.” Kara continued before looking at the ground with slumped shoulders as though she was ashamed. “It’s like, a total invasion of privacy and I get it if you’re mad.”
Lena couldn’t fully comprehend what Kara was saying, her mind reeling over the fact that Kara was able to pick out her heartbeat amongst thousands and it calmed her down. Lena couldn’t hide the small smile forming on her face.
“I’m not.” Lena replied. “If I could do the same, I would. Knowing that you’re safe would do wonders for my health.” She added with a laugh, knowing full well how often it felt like her heart was about to explode when she saw Kara as Supergirl fighting the bad guys on the news.
“Really?” Kara asked, seemingly shocked that Lena wasn’t upset at her.
“Really.” Lena answered, feeling almost giggly at the excited and relieved look on Kara’s face. “Now, let’s get you home.”
Later that night, they were both settled on Kara's couch after she had insisted that Lena stays for dinner. Dinner turned into binge watching some new show about home renovations which soon turned into an argument about the best place to live (Kara insisted it was Midvale and Lena insisted it was as far from Lilian as possible) and somehow it was suddenly 9pm, a half empty bottle of red wine and absolutely no intentions of moving anytime soon.
Lena, despite what she had argued earlier, came to the realisation that the best place to live was wherever Kara was.
It was pretty simple, really. Her life was mostly miserable, courtesy of the Luthors, with joyful moments scattered few and far between. That was until she met Kara. Everything changed the moment the reporter stumbled into her office with her cousin. And, even though they have had a few ups and downs, Lena had never felt so happy just to be around someone in her life. Even hours after an assassination attempt, Lena was as happy as ever, simply because of Kara.
The feeling was both terrifying and comforting at the same time.
“Oh come on, that has to be a lie.” Kara said after Lena told her the story involving her second year of college, a little too much tequila and keys to a chemistry lab.
“I swear, I almost lost my eyebrows.” Lena laughed, her stomach doing a flip at the sight of Kara with her head tilted back and a scrunched up nose.
Kara reached up to wipe a stray tear from the corner of her eye, her cheeks coloured red from laughing so much. “Well that definitely would have been a tragedy.” She said as her laughter died down. “Although, even with no eyebrows I still think you’d be the most beautiful person ever.”
Lena could feel the hot blush creep up the back of her neck at Kara’s comment, but decided to ignore it by rolling her eyes and looking away.
Kara always said small things like that which made Lena feel nervous in the best way possible. The compliments were usually snuck between jokes or laced with sarcasm but always followed by Kara looking sincere. And every so often, Kara would just say them to Lena’s face without shame. Those times would result in a wave of heat shooting through her body.
Lena shook her head, willing those thoughts away. “It’s your turn to tell me a secret from college.”
“I don’t think I keep many secrets, well other than… you know.” Kara replied, a flash of guilt appearing on her face. Lena knew Kara still felt bad about lying to her for years, but Lena always reassured her that they were past that now.
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that.” Lena said, a smirk forming on her face. Kara looked confused, not knowing what else there was. “What about you being able to sing? You kept that a secret from me. And you secretly stole my favourite hoodie. And you secretly covered up the graffiti on L-Corp. And ,” Lena added, emphasising the last ‘and’, “You secretly listen to my heartbeat.” Lena said, listing all the small secrets Kara had been keeping from her, each of them somehow making Lena happy as Kara admitted them. “It seems you’ve been keeping a lot from me.”
Kara glanced at Lena with her eyes crinkled at the corners and a look on her face as if to say ‘whatever’, both knowing that nothing Kara had done came from a place of badness. If anything, it showed how much she cared about Lena.
“You act like you don’t keep secrets.” Kara said with a playful smile.
“I don’t.” Lena replied. It was mostly true.
Mostly.
There was that one, rather big heart shaped secret that was crushing Lena from the inside out. But that was easily ignored (well, not easily, but ignored nonetheless).
Kara watched her for a moment with her lips pushed. “You’re lying.”
Lena’s heart stuttered. “No I’m not.”
“Why’s your heart beating really fast then?”
Fuck.
Trust Lena’s heart to give her away. Kara looked at her with such certainty that she knew Lena was lying and all Lena could do was look at her like a deer caught in headlights. She wrecked her brain, trying to come up with a plausible secret to tell Kara and pretend as though she wasn’t in love with her best friend.
“My heart is beating at a normal speed.” Lena said with a hard swallow, her mind going blank.
Kara didn’t reply right away. Instead, she shuffled closer, reaching down for Lena’s hand and brought it up to her own chest, right where her heart rested.
“See?” Kara whispered softly, her hand warm above Lena’s and her face so close that Lena could see the specs of different coloured blues scattered in Kara’s eyes.
Lena could feel her own heart though her chest and it was hammering faster than she’d ever felt before. She tried to think of an explanation, tried to do something to stop what was happening, but Kara was so close that Lena could feel her breath on her and it did nothing but make her heart beat even faster. All Lena could focus on was how soft Kara’s lips looked and how easy it would be to just close the gap between them and, god, maybe it was all in her imagination but she could feel Kara looking at her as though she was thinking the exact same thing.
“Lena, are you-”
Lena cut her off, closing the distance and finally just giving in.
The second their lips met, Kara froze and a wave of panic surged through Lena. She pulled back, ready to apologise, but Kara suddenly moved forward and pressed her lips into Lena’s. The kiss was soft, probably the softest one Lena had ever experienced, but it was everything she ever wanted. Kara pressed firmer, lifting the hand that wasn’t covering Lena’s to her cheek and letting her thumb stroke across it slowly.
Lena sighed into Kara’s mouth before pulling back and resting her forehead against Kara’s. Her entire body felt like it was humming with so many emotions. Relief that Kara kissed her back, excitement of what it meant, complete and utter love.
“I’ve wanted to do that for so long.” Lena admitted with a shaky voice.
“You have?” Kara asked, her eyes still closed and a smile on her face.
Lena let out a small laugh as though it was the most obvious thing ever. “I love you, Kara.”
As soon as she said it, Kara pulled back.
“Really?” Kara asked. Her bottom lip was jutting out, pouting like she was about to cry. “I never thought you’d love me back like I love you.”
Lena felt her own tears well up at that.
Kara took a shaky breath. “I’ve been in love with you for so long and I thought you didn’t feel the same, so I never told you.”
Lena let out another watery laugh because Jesus, they were both idiots. “We’re so stupid.” Lena said, reaching up to wipe her tears away. “How about we promise to not keep secrets, but for real this time?”
“Well if that’s the case…” Kara started, taking the hand that was covering Lena’s and reaching up to awkwardly scratch the back of her neck. “I never drink those kale smoothies you bring me at Catco.”
“Kara!” Lena said overdramatically and acting like it was the ultimate betrayal.
“I’m sorry! They’re so gross, I give them to Nia.”
Lena chuckles at the look of disgust on Kara’s face while thinking about kale. “I think I can forgive you for that one.” She replied. “So, what now?”
Kara let out a puff of air, and tilted her head to the side like she was thinking. “To be honest, I think we should probably kiss some more.”
“Oh really?” Lena replied, rolling her eyes with a smirk on her face.
“Yeah, just to like make sure there’s a spark and whatnot.”
Lena shook her head with a laugh, but let out a hum of agreement before reaching up and pulling Kara in for another kiss.
The rest of the night was spent discovering more secrets about each other. For example, Kara was a top. That definitely surprised Lena in the best way possible. She was also incredibly good with her fingers and it seemed as though she had an everlasting stamina, something Lena made sure not to take for granted.
When they finally decided it was time for sleep, Lena lay her head on Kara’s chest, listening to the steady thump of her heart as she traced small circles on Kara’s stomach and smiled to herself, not knowing how she got so lucky.