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Billy looked up just in time. Had he waited a second longer he would have walked straight the barrel chest of a bouncer that had wisely decided to take his post mere inches outside the men's restroom. Billy had to crane his neck slightly to look the man in the eye. It was a large man in both meanings of the word with frowning eyebrows as thick and dark as his mustache. In the changing colored lights, Billy could just make out the tattoos that seemed to crawl out of his uniform onto his arm and neck, like plants desperately seeking the light.
“Are you Billy?” The man shouted over the throbbing bass. Billy’s eyebrows rose ever so slightly.
“Uuuhh, depends, I guess?” He shouted back as he wiped his hands on his jeans. The bouncer gave a sideways nod at the door, his speech largely overblown by the music.
“I got - guy - ed Steve who - you’re with - me to - know he - you outside. We had to - out for - saulting another per-.”
“Sorry, what?” Billy shouted. “Did you - Steve? Is - okay?” The man sighed, truly the sigh of someone who is not even halfway through their shift and already having a long night, and gestured for Billy to follow him. As soon as the matted glass doors to the main hall opened, Billy was trampled by a wall of sound and flashing stage lights. The bouncer maneuvered Billy along the side of the dance floor, a safe distance from the sweating, moving bodies. Billy didn’t know whether it was the bass or his own heartbeat that was pounding in his ear. Did something happen to Steve? Did he get roofied again? He scanned the room for a sign of his boyfriend, who was nowhere to be seen. Once they’d reached the side of the bar, the man swiped a card on a door that said ‘employees only’. In the backroom where the music was somewhat dampened, Billy decided to try again:
“Is Steve okay? What happened?” The bouncer shot him a bored look as he marched his way to the other side of the hallway.
“He’s fine,” The man gruntled. “We had to kick him out for starting a fight.” Billy’s strides slowed.
“Are you sure you’ve got the right Billy because my Steve couldn’t land a punch if he had training wheels.”
“Tall guy? Brown hair, brown eyes. Moles. Fanny pack.”
“Holy shit, what did he do?”
And low and behold, it was his Steve awaiting him when the door opened into the cold October night. Steve turned at the strip of light that fell onto the street and lit up when Billy stepped outside.
“Oh my god, what took you so long?” He said. From the look of it, he hadn’t stopped frowning since he was put out there, shivering in his t-shirt.
“There was a line!” Billy protested while he handed Steve his jacket.
“For the men’s room? ”
“It’s a male-only gay club, Steve. There are no other lavatory facilities.”
“You,” The bouncer said, pointing at Steve, “have a two-week ban. We’ll be checking ID at the door so please don’t waste anybody’s time and just stay away.”
“Oh, yeah?” Steve yelled. “ As if we would want to come back! Goodnight, sir! C’mon, babe. We’re leaving.” And with those words, Steve stalked off towards the glowing metro sign. Billy didn’t realize he had been gaping until the bouncer said: “I’d go after him if I were you before he walks into traffic,” before he closed the door with a heavy slam. Woken up from his trance, Billy shook his head and started jogging after his man.
“Hey hey!” Thankfully tipsy Steve wasn’t the speediest so it was pretty easy to catch up.
“Good! There you are,” Steve snarked. “Do you have smokes?”
“Not for you I don’t,” Billy replied, panting. He was itching to light one for himself but decided against it for Steve’s sake.
“Oh fuck off. I’ve had a shit night! I can have one. As a treat.” Billy felt for Steve, he really did, but he also knew that Steve would be upset with himself in the morning.
“You are doing really well,” Billy told him. “The first 21 days are the hardest.” Steve huffed.
“Yeah, as if you’d know anything about that.” They’d agreed that if they wanted to live to see the day they could legally get married, they should probably quit smoking to get a headstart. Trying to quit at the same time was bound to end in a disastrous break up, so they agreed to take their turns so they could catch the blow of the other's withdrawal. Steve had volunteered to go first, a decision he’d been seriously regretting over the course of that week.
Looking at how poorly Steve had been coping, Billy felt unsure of whether he himself would be able to follow through. The other day Steve, who was generally known for his peaceful disposition, had shouted at their house plant for being overwatered. Although it was out of character, Billy wasn’t entirely surprised to hear that Steve might have pounced someone’s jaw.
“Are you going to explain to me how you got yourself banned?” He asked as they reached the crosswalk. “That guy said you assaulted someone.” Steve let out another scoff. There wasn’t a car in sight, so he stalked across the road in long somewhat wonky strides even though the light was red.
“Fucking bullshit ,” he uttered. “I’m the one that got assaulted! It was self-defense. That other guy should be on the curb right now.”
“Ah shit,” Billy sighed, followed by an uncomfortable pause. “D’someone bother you again?” Steve swallowed, his gaze dropped to the poorly lit pavements.
“You’re not allowed to leave me alone anymore when we go clubbing,” he muttered, a lot softer this time. Billy’s heart sank into his shoes.
“I’m so sorry, babe,” he whispered. Steve still hadn’t looked up at him.
Once they had reached the other side of the street, it was a short walk to their metro stop.
“You want to tell me what happened?” Billy asked as Steve stepped onto the escalator. Steve turned around and smiled briefly, because for once, when he was standing on stair higher, Billy was taller than him.
“Well… the second you left, I had this guy coming onto me all like ‘hey, can I buy you a drink’ and stuff, so I told him - very politely -”
“Uhu, I’m sure.”
“-that I already had a partner whomst I love very much.”
“Is that me?” Billy grinned.
“It is indeed you,” Steve confirmed with an annoyed but endeared smile. “Congratulations.” Billy gasped, a hand to his chest, eyes coy and simmering.
“Wait- you love me?”
“I was equally shocked when I found out.” They had reached the end of the escalator and stepped off onto a deserted platform.
“Anyway,” Steve continued. “When I made it clear that I was taken, he inquired about whether we would be up for a threesome . Because apparently he’d seen us together and thought you were pretty cute as well.”
“Aw," Billy cooed, smiling dopey. "That's kinda sweet. You know, I’m not proud of it, but I’m kinda glad that you’re not the only one that got hit on tonight. Sometimes I feel like I’m… you know, losing it.” Steve’s eyes blew up.
“Oh my god, keep that bullshit out of your mouth, okay? You look great . You’re a delicious california roll.”
“Oh come on! You’re
always
the one guys go for!” Billy replied. To anyone who might have been there, they sounded an awful lot like two drunk girls who just met in the bathroom.
“That’s because you’re always the one that has to pee!” Steve‘s shouted and laughed. "Just be glad you don't have to deal with this bullshit all the time." Billy immediately felt bad because Steve was right. It was not as if the attention he got was fun.
“So I kindly declined his offer and he got all ‘hey, don’t knock it ‘till you try it.’ and so I told him ‘actually, I’m not all that interested in sex. I’m asexual and I would appreciate it if you leave ’-”
“He did not leave.” Billy finished.
“No!” Steve shouted. “He would. not. leave!” Billy sighed long and deep as he shook his head.
“Did he give you the ‘you just haven’t had it good?’” He asked with squinted eyes. Steve chuckled humorlessly.
“Oh, I got a ‘ your boyfriend must not give it to you good.’” He smirked as Billy took a step back, jaw practically on the tiled floor.
“Can we still go back so I can pounce that guy’s face in? For as far as I know, I’m not banned-”
“Yet,” they said at the same time and giggled, they laughs echoing across the empty platform. Steve looked at Billy’s gorgeous face that was ever more beautiful through the goggles of a semi-drunken state. Maybe the night wasn’t all bad, he decided. Horrible experiences make great stories and all. Besides, every story had a happy ending if he got to cuddle up with his man at the end of the night.
“I wouldn’t worry about it,” Steve sighed. “I think I got him good.”
“You still haven’t told me what it is you did,” Billy said. “I’m guessing you hit him or something.”
“Well, at one point he got sort of handsy and tried to put my hand down his pants so I punched him in the dick and said: ‘that will be five dollars’.” Billy burst out laughing and immediately felt guilty, covered his mouth to stifle his laugh because to Steve, this was not a sassy punchline. This was horrible stuff that guys felt they could just do to Steve, even when he clearly stated otherwise.
"You should laugh," Steve shrugged bitterly. "At least someone should get a laugh out of it." But his posture said otherwise. Steve didn't get angry often and even in the rare instances when he didn't get violent unless someone's safety was on the line. He must have been really scared, Billy realized. He should have known the second he heard that this was serious.
"Are you okay?" He asked gently. Steve glanced up and down again, his eyes jerking away like a hand touching a hot stove. He murmured a high pitched 'yeah' without looking up from his shoes. Carefully, Billy reached out to take Steve's hand, something the latter thankfully accepted.
"I'm sorry," Billy whispered and Steve smiled weakly looking down at their intertwined fingers.
"Not your fault."
“Please tell me the guy got kicked out as well?" He already knew the answer.
“No, the bouncer saw me do it and was not interested in my defense, so I got put on the street while that shithead is enjoying free drinks for the rest of the night.” Billy’s shoulders slumped.
“Oh my god, that so unfair," he sighed as he tucked at Steve sleeve to pull him in for a hug. "That should have been us.”
“ Me, ” Steve pouted into Billy's shoulder. “That should have been me . I’m the one that had to deal with that asshole while you were taking your hour-long tinkle.”
“I’m sorry, alright. I promise I’ll take a piss before we leave so I can grind up against you the whole night and glare at every dickhead who glances your way,” Billy muttered as he pulled back and caught Steve’s lips in a soft kiss. “How’s that sound?” Steve had closed his eyes, a weak smile on his lips, blinking as he always did when he got tired, even more so when he was wearing his contacts.
“Thanks, that’d be nice,” Steve sighed just as the air around them started moving and howling with the sound of an oncoming train. “It’d be even nicer if guys respected my boundaries even when I’m not the claimed property of another man, but you can’t have it all, I guess.” Billy’s affirming hum was lost in the rush of air as the train slowed down in front of them.
“I’m just so sick and tired of me saying ‘asexual’ and guys hearing ‘convince me’,” Steve shouted over the noise. “Like... my sexuality is not a fucking challenge for you! I just want to dance! Shouldn’t be that hard to understand.”
“I’m sorry you have to deal with that, babe,” Billy murmured, his voice full of misplaced guilt as he pressed the button for the doors. The cart was good as empty, with only a few other passengers riding at this hour of the night. They sat down in the joined aisle seats as Steve said,
“I mean... it does help that I get to come home to a cute boyfriend who gets me and,” and he gave Billy that award-winning drunken smile that could outside the fucking moon. Billy grinned, drunk on love and whispered,
“I’m glad to be of service.”