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You heard the soft tapping of footsteps approach from down the hall before they stopped outside the door. They hesitated for a second and you could have sworn you heard someone release a sigh, before the latch to the door clicked open and the Fire Lord entered. His weary eyes scanned the room before landing on your form, lounging on the bed with an open book splayed across your lap. A small but tired smile graced his face and he took another step into the room and gently shut the door behind him.
You looked up at the sound of the door shutting and returned Zuko’s smile. Without breaking eye contact, you shut your book and slowly stood. You adjusted your robe to better sit on your shoulders and approached him. Behind his tired eyes and soft smile, you could see something was wrong. Wordlessly, you reached up to caress the side of his face with one hand and let your hand linger as he leaned into your touch. His hand came up to rest over yours, holding it to his face. Despite how many times he touched you, you were always surprised at how warm his skin felt against yours and you sighed at the heat radiating off his body at this proximity.
Zuko leaned his head down to rest his forehead against yours and you simply stood like that for a moment, relishing in each other’s closeness and presence. Your breath mingled and your other hand came up to run your fingers through the hair hanging down at the back of his neck, while his came to rest on your hip.
“Do you want to talk about it?” you asked quietly.
He was still, considering. You gave him time, waiting for his choice. If he wanted to talk, you would listen, and if he didn’t, well, you would simply be there for him when he was ready. He took a few deep breaths to calm his mind, and gently shook his head and tightened his grip on your hip. Zuko’s hand fell from yours on his face to snake around your back and pull you in closer for a hug. You held him just as close, not letting go until he decided he was ready.
When he released you, you reached up once again, this time to release his hair from its bun and start undoing the clasps and ties holding his ceremonial robes to his shoulders. He let you, leaning his head forward slightly so that you had better access to the tie that rested at the base of his neck. You pulled off the shoulder pads, and with them, the outer cloak. You carefully draped the robes over a nearby desk chair, not wanting to simply discard them on the floor, but not wanting to break this moment to hang them properly just yet. Next was the gold sash that secured his outer robe. As you pushed the sides of his robe off his shoulders, you leaned forward to rest your head and palm against his chest. You closed your eyes and listened to his heartbeat, a steady thump-thumping against your ear.
Zuko shrugged off the robe and tossed it to join the rest of his Fire Lord robes, now left just in his tunic and trousers. You felt one muscular arm wrap around your shoulders and another around your waist, pulling you closer to him and enveloping you in his warmth. Then, very gently, you felt him lean down and press his lips to your head. Again, you stood like that for a moment, each enjoying the other’s presence.
Then, you pulled away. He looked at you in confusion as you backed up, taking both his hands in yours as his hold on your body relaxed. You maintained eye contact, (e/c) eyes melding with golden ones, and pulled him with you toward the bed. You only severed contact with Zuko as you reclaimed your position from earlier, lounging on the bed with your back propped up with pillows against the headboard. You stretched one hand out to him. Zuko stood at the side of the bed, as if not knowing what to do, a stark contrast to his confident public presence as Fire Lord. You were one of the few that he allowed to see him like this, questioning and unsure of himself. You knew he had a long and complicated history with relationships, spending a good portion of his life believing that he was unloved and when you met him you decided that you would never allow him to feel that way again. Then, when Zuko became Fire Lord, you vowed it in front of your friends and the entire nation.
And you intended to stay true to your vow.
“Join me?”
He stared at you a moment longer, then took your hand. In that moment, you saw something in his face change. It was fleeting, but you could have sworn you saw relief flash across his features, as if he worried that you would pull away and tell him not to follow. He crawled in the bed next to you, kicking off his shoes in the process. You wrapped one arm around his shoulders, holding him tight to your side, and he laid his head on your chest with his hand resting on your belly.
When you’d first gotten together, Zuko was wary of being held. He had always preferred to do the holding. Perhaps he was worried that his affection would not be reciprocated and he would lose you if he let go, or perhaps he worried that being held would make him seem weak, or perhaps he was worried about losing control by relaxing into someone else’s care. Years later, he still seemed uneasy, but was learning to rely on others and learning how to relax.
You felt him relax against you, turning slightly onto his side so that he was more comfortable, and taking your hand in his. He idly played with your fingers, lacing his with yours and stroking your wrist. You stroked his arm with your hand that was wrapped around his shoulder and gradually, you could feel him sink into your touch.
“It’s just hard to keep up sometimes,” he said quietly. “There’s so much to do and keep up on, not just within the Fire Nation, but between all the nations, and I’m just worried that I can’t do it. They all just expect so much of me...and I don’t know if I’m going to be enough.”
You understood, to an extent. You were familiar with the weight of others’ expectations constantly falling on you and knew what it was like to never feel like enough. When he was quiet for a minute, you said, “You’re right, there is too much for you to do alone. That’s why you have friends and advisors and a whole nation of people ready to support you. You can’t do everything alone; no one can. There’s no sense in stressing about what you can’t control.”
“But as Fire Lord--”
“--as Fire Lord, there are a number of things that are your responsibility, but beyond politics, keeping absolute peace between all four nations is not one of them. You are a good person and a great ruler, so I know that you feel a certain responsibility for resolving conflict, but not everything has to be yours to fix. The best thing you can do is take care of the things you can, and take everything else one day at a time.”
Before he became Fire Lord, Zuko had been so focused on regaining his honor that he was willing to do anything to restore his place in his father’s eyes. Now, despite a system of friends and others who can help him, he still tried to do everything alone. Including facing his own worst thoughts.
“Zuko, look at me.” He shifted so he could look at you, but still wasn’t meeting your eyes. You moved to sit up in front of him and placed your hands on both sides of his face. Only then did he finally lock eyes with you. “You hold yourself to such impossible standards and it’s not going to do anything except distress you. Zuko, we are all proud of you. I am proud of you. You’ve come such a long way, and done such amazing things. Everyday you go out there in front of everyone, and you make the world a better place. I wish you could see yourself the way I see you; you’ve overcome so much and I am so, so proud of the man you have become.”
He just stared at you, eyes wide, then looked away. He wasn’t expecting this, but he was grateful nonetheless. Zuko took a couple more shaky breaths and whispered a quiet “Thank you.”
You ran your fingers through his hair with one hand and rubbed his scarred cheek with the thumb of the other. “You can do anything you put your mind to, but you can’t do it alone. Remember that we’re here for you and it does not make you any less of a man or any less of a Fire Lord to ask for help. I’m here for you, and I’m not leaving.” A single tear threatened to escape his eye and you brushed it away with your thumb. “I love you, Zuko, and that’s never going to change.”
You brought your arms around his neck and pulled him close. He returned the affection with equal fervor after only a moment’s hesitation. You rubbed his back as he held you and hummed a song that your mother had sung for you in your childhood. Slowly, you leaned back against the pillows again, pulling Zuko with you, and you both relaxed back into the soft bed clothes and into each other. You continued to hum and play with his hair and felt as his breathing gradually slowed to a steady rate.
“I love you,” he said so quietly, you weren’t even completely sure you heard it. You smiled to yourself and held him just a little bit tighter.