Archive of Our Own

When he hears Jirou sing for the first time, it’s an accident. 

Kaminari is three hours into his regularly scheduled Saturday night meme lord activities—tonight it’s scouring the depths of YouTube—when a familiar face graces his screen.

“What’s this?” he murmurs before clicking the video link. The account’s username reads “DEEPDOPE18” but the thumbnail shows Jirou Kyouka, her crimson red curtain in the background and bass guitar on her lap.

“Hey everyone!” She pauses and places a bashful hand behind her head. “I dunno why I said that. Not like anyone watches these. Anyway! Got another song I’m working on. Here it goes.”

His ears are flooded with her voice and the plucking of her instrument. By the end, his cheeks hurt from grinning so hard. To his surprise, she has an abundance of content – live streams of her songwriting process, messing around with melodies, covers of favorite songs. He chooses a playlist over eight hours long and falls asleep to the sounds of her.

oo

After class, Kaminari is eager to take another peek at Jirou’s secret profile. This time, his ambition gets the best of him and he creates a new account for himself so he can leave a string of comments on videos that have caught his eye. He’s bursting with pride and has to let her know, even if under a pseudonym. Especially under a pseudonym.

Now, what to call himself?

It can’t be too obvious, but it’s a struggle to be average for Kaminari when every cell in him is screaming to make himself known to her. To tell her how much he loves her music.

He wants to be a good friend to her, after all. Maybe more.

Eventually, he settles on “allyourBASSarebelongtous.” Music-related and hits you right in the meme? It was perfect. He cracks his knuckles and starts to type.

“Love the song! The melody on the bridge is super catchy.”

Time to play the waiting game. Her account only has 22 subscribers and she actively responds to every single comment. Almost instantaneously, his phone pings with a notification.

“Thanks for watching! Glad you liked it.”

“She replied!” he cheers to his empty room. He jumps onto his bed and kicks his feet, cradling the phone in his hands to relish in her words.

It’s foolish, getting so worked up about her canned response. He can walk down the hall and talk to the genuine article, for goodness’ sake. Yet, this feels like he’s opened a porthole to a different side of her and it’s a view only he has the privilege of seeing.

oo

After a few weeks of commenting regularly on her account, Kaminari builds up the courage to message Jirou directly. He times it just right: immediately after she uploads a video so he knows she’s online.

Don’t be weird. Don’t be creepy. Don’t be you.

It’s become his mantra every time he wants to interact with her online. He briefly considers making it his mantra for interacting with her in person as well. Emphasis on “briefly.”

The truth is he can’t be anything but himself when he’s around her… which is probably why we’re just friends, he laments with a sigh.

allyourBASSarebelongtous
did you know that your videos have become a daily part of my routine?

He quickly hit backspace on the sentence. Too weird!

allyourBASSarebelongtous
i’ve been watching you for a while now

STOP. He lifts his hands from the keyboard. So creepy!

allyourBASSarebelongtous
heyy i just wanted to say thanks for sharing your music! the latest video brightened up my day

That’s it. He hits send.

DEEPDOPE18
wow, thanks! tbh, your comments brighten up MY day :)

Kaminari does a jig around his room in victory. Baby steps lead to big boy steps, and he’s ready to grow up. His fingers twitch with excitement.

allyourBASSarebelongtous
awww glad to hear it

allyourBASSarebelongtous
you remind me a lot of this musician friend of mine

DEEPDOPE18
yeah? you ever help them out with their stuff?

DEEPDOPE18
bc i’m having trouble with this one song

allyourBASSarebelongtous
lay it on me

DEEPDOPE18
it’s pretty different from my other songs. it’s about someone i know so i’m a little nervous haha

Someone… she knows?

As the implication of her message sinks in, Kaminari becomes overwhelmingly aware of the fact that he’s toeing the line between good friend and bad friend. It’s a dangerous balance.

Then she sends over a short clip of her song in progress.

It’s a catchy melody. She hums the whole time and doesn’t even share any lyrics with him. Yet, he feels it: every note is laced with precious care, as if she cradled the song in cupped hands and held it up to his ear to listen.

He makes a decision. Or rather, his fingers make it for him, because they seem to start typing on their own.

allyourBASSarebelongtous
it’s beautiful. doesn’t sound like you need any help from me lol

DEEPDOPE18
oh thaaanks *blushy face*

allyourBASSarebelongtous
who’s the song for?

The object of her affection is declared an enemy and he feels himself tipping over into bad friend territory. Harboring ulterior motives is a quality you definitely won’t find in good ones.

This person is someone who inspires her so much that she’s writing freaking songs about them! He’ll keep up the act until he finds out who it is, and then he’ll kill them.

Okay, not really.

Maybe he’ll shock them a little.

Fine, probably not that either.

Plus, she’d be furious with him if she ever found out the truth about his internet escapades. So he makes another decision: he commits himself to never revealing his true identity.

DEEPDOPE18
it’s for a friend

Another question bubbles to the surface of his mind. Was it for a good friend, or a bad one… like him?

oo

“Jeez, you look like hell this morning.”

Kaminari is slumped over his desk. He squints up at Jirou as she takes her own seat next to him.

“Wow, thanks,” he mumbles. “And good morning to you, too.”

“Late night?” she asks.

Yeah, talking to you! he wants to say but he bites his tongue. Somehow, she looks fully rested even though she stayed up just as long as he did, maybe longer.

“Fell down a YouTube rabbit hole.” It’s as close to the truth as possible. As crappy as he feels from not sleeping, the lying makes him feel worse. He’s a fraud.

She tosses him an understanding grin. “I know how that feels.”

He knows she does. He wants to scream out loud how much he knows it. Instead, he lamely replies, “Yeah?”

This little thing he had going with her – it was his lightning in a bottle. There was no way he was going to let it out and run the risk of being shocked by the consequences. His mind wanders to their discussion from the night before: her song in progress for this so-called “friend.”

His eyes narrow at Bakugou sitting on the other side of her. They’d been getting a little chummy as of late, especially after the Cultural Festival and then as teammates during the joint training with Class 1B.

“Fuck off!” he screams at Midoriya, seemingly out of nowhere.

Jirou turns to Kaminari and rolls her eyes. “Why is he always like that?” she whispers.

So maybe not Bakugou. Who else could it be?

“Here’s the study guide you texted me about.”

Jirou turns from Kaminari to face Yaomomo, looking radiant as always. She hands Jirou a stack of notes.

“Your hair’s down!”

“Thought I’d try something different.” Yaomomo tucks long strands behind her ear. “Feels weird, but I kinda like it.”

“Seriously? It looks great,” Jirou compliments her.

“Thanks!” She blushes and smiles. “Anyway, you can give those back whenever you’re done.”

“Nice! Maybe I’ll come by your room for a study session later?” Jirou offers.

Yaomomo nods enthusiastically. “Sounds good!”

Kaminari clenches his jaw. What if it’s Yaomomo? He holds back a scream of frustration. There’s no way he can compete with her!

“Oh, Kaminari! Did you want to join us?” Yaomomo asks with a gentle smile.

“He probably needs the study session more than I do,” Jirou jokes.

He backtracks his suspicions. If she likes Yaomomo, she wouldn’t be inviting him to be a third wheel in their study session, right? Perhaps Yaomomo isn’t the culprit after all.

He lifts his head. “I’ll have you know that I am now ranked 18th after the last midterm!”

“Wow, a bonafide genius!” Jirou says sarcastically. “Still, a study session wouldn’t hurt, yeah?”

“I’ll be there,” he confirms.

It’s not Bakugou or Yaomomo. That leaves sixteen other potential suspects in their class. He decides to take another crack at figuring it out later during their nightly chat.

oo

Jirou beats him to it when she finally uploads her song. He’s been dead wrong all along.

Baby you're like lightning in a bottle
I can't let you go now that I got it
All I need is to be struck
By your electric love

Kaminari is admittedly not the most intellectual of his peers, but even he can make out the connection. It’s him. It’s totally about him.

His hands tremble as he opens up their DM history.

allyourBASSarebelongtous
you posted it!

DEEPDOPE18
ahhh i was gonna msg you and thank you for the advice!

allyourBASSarebelongtous
no problemo. knew you’d figure it out.

DEEPDOPE18
what do you think? how does it sound?

allyourBASSarebelongtous
it’s sooo catchy

Kaminari pauses and thinks about it. Then adds one more thing.

allyourBASSarebelongtous
your friend will love it

He waits for her reply.

DEEPDOPE18
thanks!! but haha dunno if i’ll show it to him...

Reality crashes over him and his heart sinks. He’s not supposed to know any of this, yet the confirmation of her feelings is impossible to ignore. He wonders what his next move should be, but the falsehood of their online friendship renders him immobile. 

For now, he plays pretend, like everything is going to be okay.

He lays on his bed, the song on repeat until he can’t get the melody out of his head, the notes resonating from the back of his throat until his whole body thrums from the beat. He wants it to become a part of his subconscious, the way she seems to dig deep into him and live in his lungs, as natural as breathing.

He pulls his pillow against his chest and imagines she’s the one laying in his arms, singing the song she made just for him.

oo

The joy of discovering Jirou’s feelings is short-lived. When he wakes up and the buzz has faded, he feels like crumpling up and tossing the waste that is himself into the bin.

When she emerges through the dorm’s front doors so they can walk to class together, she nods to him, signaling she’s ready to go. He smiles back. As she turns away, he swallows hard, forcing the guilt down.

The same way he loves their back and forth banter, he loves how they can fall into comfortable silences like this one. In fact, him keeping his mouth shut is probably better for now anyway.

Suddenly, she halts in her tracks.

“What are you humming?” she asks.

Oh, fuck.

He still manages to make a fool of himself without saying a word. Not even realizing it, he had been humming her song. His song. The song.

“It’s nothing!” he answers a bit too quickly, but the damage is done.

She doesn’t buy it. He knows she’s not really asking; she’s confirming a suspicion that needs no evidence because he’s been caught at the crime scene.

“Have you been the one messaging me?”

There’s hesitation, but he bites the bullet and answers, “Yes.”

Any and all doubt that Jirou may have had evaporates. “You’ve gotta be kidding me!” she screeches at him. “All this time? All this fucking time?!”

Her face is red, she’s breathing hard, and she can’t bear to look at him. He’s never seen this shade of anger on her, especially not directed at him.

“Jirou, I can explain!”

“Save it. You must’ve had a hell of a time laughing at me. Was it worth it?”

“It was an accident! I didn’t mean for it to go this far.”

“I see.” She folds her arms and glowers at him. “Creating an account. Messaging me every day. Seeing me in person without saying a word about it. That was all an accident?”

He scrunches his face. “Well, when you lay it out like that...”

“Right.” She sets her mouth into a hard line and shakes her head in disbelief. “I have to go. I can’t do this right now.”

She begins to head back to their dorm.

“But class…?” he calls to her.

She whirls back around. “Tell them I’m sick. Make something up, I don’t care. You’re good at lying, yeah? After all, you’ve had tons of practice on me.”

oo

Jirou burrows herself up in her room and doesn’t leave the whole day.

Long after classes end, he’s waiting outside her door when she emerges. Her eyes widen, as if surprised to see him, but when he begins to speak her expression sours.

“Jirou, please talk to me.”

She blows past him like he doesn’t exist and heads downstairs for dinner without a word.

The next day, the same reaction.

And the day after that.

And after that, as well.

This is the new normal.

Except once, she looks at him like she wants to say something. A sound comes halfway out her mouth before she snaps her lips shut and walks away. He knows better than to go after her. But the small interaction makes him think he’s slowly chipping away at her, and maybe a big blow is needed to bring her walls down.

oo

The bustling of the crowded cafeteria makes him clutch his guitar tighter. He sets the small amp down onto the table as he climbs onto its surface.

The table is his stage, UA High his audience.

He strums a chord that echoes above the crowd and the entire room halts to look up at him. He didn’t rehearse that much, but time was of the essence. He wanted everything to be okay between them again.

When all is said and done
She’s gone and it’s all my fault
All I can do is say sorry
I hope these words reach you now

From his first warbling note, the entire cafeteria bursts into raucous laughter. It doesn’t matter; whatever humiliation he feels in this moment, it’s nothing compared to the betrayal Jirou must have felt. So he continues the hopelessly pathetic tune for the small chance of forgiveness.

He’s halfway through his song when he sees her rise from her seat slowly. She makes her way towards him and grabs him by the hand, abruptly stopping the performance.

“Wait, it’s not done yet!” he says.

She’s exasperated. “You’ve made your point!”

She drags him out of the cafeteria to the hoots and hollers of their peers.

“Yeah, Kaminari! Get it!” someone yells above the racket.

“Shut up!” Jirou cries out at the crowd. But she doesn’t let go of him, clutching his hand like if she lets go he’ll disappear.

She pulls him down the hall and into an empty classroom.

“You’re such an idiot!” she finally says when they’re alone and behind closed doors. As much as she likes to play everything off with an eye roll and a scoff, a torrent of emotions thunders inside of her.

“I know,” he agrees with shame. He was the one who used his anonymity to take advantage of her vulnerability.

“But I can’t stay mad at you,” she says, like she’s the defeated one. “Not when you do something like that back there!”

She crashes against him so hard his back hits the wall behind him. She buries her face in his chest, hiding her blush. There’s still a part of her holding back – her arms are limp at her sides, but her fingers are fidgeting like she’s itching to touch him.

He does what she clearly wants to do: puts his arms around her, holds her tight, and revels in the fact that she’s right there with him.

“What you did was shitty,” she chastises him. “You know that?”

He nods, nose rubbing against her hair at the top of her head. 

She looks up with shiny eyes. “I know you didn’t mean anything bad by it, but I was so embarrassed. That account was personal.”

He brings his forehead to hers so she can feel his sincerity. “I’m an asshole! I know. And I’m so sorry.” He squeezes her tighter. “I’m not trying to make excuses for what I did. I just want you to know that when I found it, I was so proud of you! You’re amazing. I was being selfish, but I wanted a piece of that amazing-ness. I just wanted to be close to you.”

That’s when her arms wind their way around his middle and she holds him back.

“I’m tired of being mad,” she mumbles into his shirt. “I wanna be close to you, too.”

His heart clenches at her words. He doesn’t deserve her.

His hand comes up to rest just below her chin, angling her face up so she’s looking into his eyes. He leans forward, leaving a gap for her to respond in kind if she so dares. She dares. She lifts herself by her toes and their lips touch in a sweet kiss. He smiles against her.

When they part, they stay holding each other for what feels like forever, as if making up for those few days of lost time. A familiar tune floods his ears and for a split second he wonders why it’s so recognizable. Then it hits him.

She’s humming his song.

He’s floored and yet she still finds a way to take him to new heights.