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Hellish Floor

Summary:

In which the gang is stuck on a hellish, humid, swampy, floor and are losing their minds.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Everyone looked like a hot mess.

 

A literal hot mess.

 

At least, that was what Shibisu had thought the first time he saw everyone after they all fell into swamp water. His cotton track suit was shrinking… god.

 

Hatz’s eyeliner and mascara that he apparently wore under his eyelids was now running. He looked like that creepy girl who climbed out of the well in the horror film called the Rings.

 

Bam’s hair was a greasy and flat mess; basically having no volume or life to it. He was freezing as he had given his jacket to Hwaryun who was wearing a white shirt.

 

What a gentleman. Pfft.

 

Hwaryun’s hair was a tangled mess and she literally had twigs and a whole freaking lily pad in her hair. She looked like the spring demon people would see in their nightmares. Not to mention, Bam’s jacket didn’t look the best on her.

 

Khun nearly gave Shibisu a heart attack.

 

With the humidity, the once straight slightly wavy hair that Khun had; now looked like Thor himself came down and struck his hair with a freaking lightning bolt. His hair was all poofy and looked like an afro, and literal lightning was going around it showing one thing: Khun is TICKED.

 

But! The only person who didn’t look any different was him.

 

Rak Wraithraiser looked the exact same. Aside from the awful smell of the swamp, he looked fantastic! God-like compared to the dirty, hot-messy, smelly people who were traveling through this swampy and humid floor.

 

Moral of the story, everyone was annoyed. Heck, even Bam had a tight frown on his face. And Khun would let out a string full of curse words every time he touched his poofy hair (Shibisu gave up on warning him about his colorful language). Hatz was actually whining a bit because when he would walk, ‘squishing’ sounds would come from his feet and his eyeliner was running into his eyelids. Hwaryun was constantly pulling twigs out of her hair and throwing them at an annoyed Khun. Rak was leaving banana peels everywhere and everyone behind him kept slipping on them (everybody except Hwaryun), and Shibisu was actually beginning to pull what little hair he had out due to everyone’s complaining.

 

Just wait until they meet up with Elaine and Hockney. Oh the humiliation.

 

After slipping on Rak’s banana peel for the 80th time, Khun had enough and he actually growled even louder than he did before. And timing was always perfect (not really), because Hwaryun just decided to throw another twig at him. “That’s it! Gator, either you stop eating bananas or I’m going to bloody choke you with them,” he threatened with a sharp tone that nearly cut everyone to pieces.

 

“Stop whining. I’ve been listening to it for the past hour,” came the simple response from Hwaryun as she began trying to rein her hair out. It wasn’t working and even she began to frown. “This floor can go-”

 

“I’ve already been listening to Khun swear for sixty minutes. I don’t need you to,” Shibisu mumbled out, sulking slightly as his tracksuit was now up to his knees. A quiet whimper escaped his mouth as Khun and Hwaryun’s bickering could be heard over his noisy thoughts.

 

“Oh would you shut up? I was up all night because of you,” Khun snapped as a look of wrath appeared on his face and if looks could kill, everyone would probably be dead.

 

As soon as Khun said that, everyone went quiet.

 

“TMI man… TMI,” Hatz mumbled as he rubbed his eyes; dry eyeliner running down his face as he sniffled. Allergies were killing him, there was so much pollen. Not too mention, the squishing sound that his wet feet were giving off made matters worse.

 

Hwaryun blinked rapidly as she spun around and shook her pale index finger at Khun. “What?! Me? What did I do? You need to pick your words wisely because your lips are sinking my ship,” she hissed; because apparently even their guide could get annoyed and just snap.

 

“Oh you know why. Should I sing a Brittany Spears song? Because you had that on so loud I was going to strangle you till-” Khun closed his mouth as he realized he was about to drop another strong curse word and Bam was around and was being exposed to a lot.

 

Hwaryun, like the sassy little woman she was, placed a hand on her hip and everyone knew that there was no way she was going to say ‘I’m sorry for putting my music on so loud, Khun-san’. “Well you could’ve always put on ear muff, dingbat.”

 

“Dingbat?! Alright, witch. Tell me something,” the blue haired man started as he too, also placed a hand on his hip like the sassy man he is, and simply, stared down at her. “Why are we still lost on this floor when you’re the guide?”

 

“Did you seriously just go there, blue-head?”

 

“I go anywhere I want, witch.”

 

As they were arguing, Bam’s eyes flickered over to a bug that gracefully landed on Khun’s cheek. It was bothering him. Should he tell his friend? No… because then he would move and the bug would get away with sucking the blue-head’s blood.

 

Raising his hand, Bam sent a hard smack across Khun’s face.

 

Hwaryun’s eye widened.

 

Rak gaped.

 

Hatz’s jaw dropped.

 

Shibisu prayed to whatever God was watching him.

 

Khun let out a pained shout.

 

And the bug still flew away.

 

“W...w-what the heck… Bam?” Khun’s eyes were wide as he touched his cheek that was once as pale as snow, now flaming red from where his friend had smacked him.

 

“Oh uh… there was a mosquito and I had to uh… kill it so I… kinda smacked you. Looking back on it... I realize I made a mistake,” the brunette mumbled the last part as he scratched the back of his head with an awkward laugh. Clearly knowing that he did the wrong thing and that his explanation seemed quite stupid and something like how a child would try to get out of trouble when calling their mother fat.

 

At that point, no one moved a muscle because they did not want the rage of Khun Aguero Agnis to be directed at them. Bam was not going to get chewed out by Khun, no way on God’s green earth. Someone else was going to get an ear full.

 

Sadly, Shibisu was the closest one and made direct eye contact with Khun and he was doomed.

 

“Why didn’t you tell me that there was a bug on me, Shibisu?” The look on Khun’s face as he shifted his body away from Bam towards the fashion disaster of a man was blazing. If looks could kill, Shibisu would be dead on the spot and he actually wanted to die this very instant.

 

“This is just sad,” Rak commented as he folded his arms across his chest, catching Hatz’s attention.

 

“What? That two of our smartest people have had their wild hair take up their brain? Or that the sweetest person here is going delusional? How about when Shibisu’s clothes fully shrink we will be seeing a horrifying sight?” Hatz could list so many of these things forever, but that wouldn’t be looking on the bright side, now would it?

 

Rak slowly nodded as he closed his eyes in utter despair. “That and I ran out of my bananas. Be nice and I might just not eat you.”

 

It was then Hatz slowly backed away from the alligator.

 

“I wanna go hooooooome,” Bam groaned as he had dragged his feet across the swampy ground. There was a giant red mark on his arm and he still had no idea why it was getting bigger. It was slowly beginning to puss and it itches like crazy. “How much longer do we have to go on, Hwaryun?” Noticing how she didn’t respond, Bam simply turned around and saw that she was missing and Shibisu was being strangled by Khun. “Where’s Hwaryun?”

 

Everyone immediately stopped what they were doing as nothing could be heard aside from the buzz of a mosquito.

 

“You mean we lost her?! She’s our guide! We’re all going to die out on this floor!” Shibisu screamed as Khun’s arms fell limp, allowing the tracksuit man to finally break free. “W-what do we do?!”

 

“Just leave her. I’m glad she’s gone. Maybe she’ll find some men who actually like her company,” Khun said with a scoff as he rolled his eyes, touching his hair once more as he dropped another strong curse word at his abomination of an afro curly hair.

 

Shibisu gaped at what Khun had said, horrified that he didn’t seem to care that Hwaryun was probably dying out somewhere in the woods. “Don’t say that, Khun! Do you have any idea on what torture she could be going through right now?! The natives here are cannibalistic nuts!”

 

Hatz stared at Shibisu with a deadpan stare. “There are no natives,” he said plainly with a tight frown as he folded his arms across his chest. “For all we know, she probably just slipped-”

 

“-and died somewhere,” Khun finished with a small smirk.

 

“Glad to know you guys care about me,” Hwaryun grumbled as she stomped out of another swamp, Bam’s white jacket now see-through due to the swampy water. “Just for that I might lead you astray from the ship that Hockney and Elaine have,” she commented coldly with a sly smirk as she stared at Khun.

 

“Can’t we just kill her?”

 

“God Khun, you on your period or something?” Hatz questioned as he noticed that the bluehead’s lack of sass and moody behavior was really odd. That and him and Hwaryun were going at it since they got here; it started off with them bickering over morning coffee and now they’re arguing about their lives.

 

“What did you say?” Khun growled out as his radiant blue eyes seemed to narrow as he stared at Hatz.

 

“You heard me.”

 

Bam’s eye twitched as he whirled around and pointed an accusing finger at Hatz and Khun, annoyed at the childish antics that everyone seemed to be having. “Enough! Can’t you guys see that Shibisu is balding?” he exclaimed in horror, and as he said that the walking fashion disaster immediately touched his hair. “Let’s play the quiet game. Starting right now.”

 

With that, Rak simply stared at Khun and stomped on his foot as if to make the blue turtle lose at the quiet game. The blue head retorted with a harsh kick in the stomach at the alligator and started pulling on Rak’s ears. Rak let out a pained but quiet scream as Khun did this.

 

Hatz watched how childish they were but then he looked in Hwaryun’s direction and smirked. He walked over and simply picked her up by her waist and proceeded to tickle her stomach. The redhead began kicking her in the legs and then reached over and pulled on Hatz’s hair.

 

Shibisu stared and then tiptoed over to Bam. Reaching over to pinch the brunette’s waist and…

 

...got blasted with the Slayer Candidate’s shinsu.

 

“Would you guys stop being so childish?” Bam demanded as he spun around. His eyes widened as he saw Rak on Khun’s head, pulling on his hair and the bluehead man biting his lip as if not to scream at the alligator. Then there was Hatz and Hwaryun who were literally wrestling on the floor, the two happened to roll into a tree. And Shibisu was on the ground in pain due to being blasted by Bam’s shinsu.

 

“Bam’s out,” Hatz and Hwaryun mumbled in unison, both grumbling in pain as the redhead stood up and straightened herself up which did no good because… they would all have to take a minimum of seven showers in order to get the swamp muck off of them.

 

Khun pushed Rak off of him who fell to the ground with a thud as he walked towards Bam. “Hwaryun, show us the way to the ship and stop acting like a child with Hatz,” he said simply as if snapping back to his senses. Seems like when Rak got on top of his head that he made his brain start working again.

 

Hwaryun raised an eyebrow as she pointed straight ahead of them. “Don’t need to. We’re already here,” she stated blankly as Elaine and Hockney could be seen in the distance.

 

Everyone froze as those words departed from her mouth. Not wanting to be seen so horrifically but also really wanted to get into some air conditioning this instant. Swallowing their pride, everyone walked towards the two figures who were voicing their confusion in the distance.

 

“Bam you’re back-wah! What happened to you?!” Hockney shouted with a horrified voice as he eyed the Slayer Candidate up and down with a tight frown and wide eyes.

 

Elaine eyed each and everyone of them as she just raised an eyebrow. “You look like you’ve been through hell,” she deadpanned as she folded her arms under her bust, her green eyes lighting up with something called amusement.

 

“Glad to be back,” Khun grumbled with a scoff as he pushed passed her and marched into the ship. “First one to the bathroom takes a shower first,” he called out as he closed the door.

 

With that, Bam, Shibisu, Hatz, and Hwaryun dashed into the ship leaving a confused Hockney and Elaine.

 

“Did you take the picture with your pocket?” Hockney asked in a hushed tone as he leaned toward Elaine.

 

She simply nodded with a small smile and a content look on her face. “You bet I did. We should send it to Endorsi.”

 

“And Urek.”

 

“Mhmm.”

Notes:

Everyone hates humid hair.