Work Text:
There was a time when Beth thought Addy would always be her girl. Like Addy was merely a present that she had the pleasure of unwrapping or a secret whispered only to her ears. That ended. It had been ending, both of them could tell. The days flew by and there was only a matter of time before they completely drifted apart.
The wedge between them only grew farther, bigger, deeper, and wider with every moment Addy spent with Colette French instead of Beth. There’s just something about her. Addy told Beth. Those were the same words Addy uttered on the numerous times Beth questioned her interest in the coach.
Just thinking about Colette made Beth’s skin crawl. A subdued burning laid beneath her skin whenever she was in the same room as her. She couldn’t bring herself to see what it was that Addy saw in her. All she sees is a blonde-haired beast whose sunk her poisonous claws deep within her best friend.
Okay, secretly, Beth thinks that if the circumstances were different she could see the appeal of Colette. Colette—with her cold and almost untouchable exterior. That was something to dissect there. Though, Beth supposes hatred and hostility serve her better than curiosity right now.
•
It feels just slightly too warm in Addy’s room. They’re both laying on the bed with a thin blanket covering their lower halves. Even with shorts and a thin blanket the room is too hot for Beth. She prefers the cold.
Addy hasn’t said anything for the past fourteen minutes. She’s staring up at the ceiling with her brows furrowed. She’s opened and closed her mouth twice–like she wanted to say something but couldn’t bring herself too.
Beth turns her head to look at Addy. She gives the smallest smile. “What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?”
Addy now turns to face her. She looks into her eyes and simply states, “You.” She smiles but it doesn’t meet her eyes. “And us.”
“Us?” Beth quirks her eyebrow. Us is very tight lipped topic. Beth thinks. You never talk about us. Is what she wants to say—she chooses to swallow down her thoughts.
“Yeah. It’s been a while since we’ve had a sleep over. It’s been a while since it was just the two of us,”
“Well, I’ve been here, Addy. Waiting.” Beth doesn’t like that she said a bit too bitter. A bit too pathetic.
Addy gives a humorless laugh and looks down. She doesn’t dwell on Beth’s tone. “I know, it’s just hanging out isn’t as easy as when we were kids.”
“Then let’s make it easy. Just you and me. That’s all we need.” That’s all I want. Beth wishes she could read Addy’s mind. It’s too unnerving to not understand if Addy feels the same as her. She wants to know if she needs her as desperately as Beth needs her. She doesn’t. Beth thinks that Addy has to have some desire to mend the inevitable end of their friendship.
”Just you and me.” Addy repeats lowly. It feels too claustrophobic for Addy’s liking. Too much in just four words she used to loved. It doesn’t quite fit, not like how it was before.
A beat passes between them before Beth speaks up again. “We should play our song. Ya know, the one we always listened to before we went to sleep at summer camp.”
It’s not what she wants to say, it’s the only thing she can think of that wouldn’t cost Addy to clam up.
That lights up Addy’s face immediately, only for it slowly to fall again. “Yeah, I’d like that.” Addy rises up to reach for her phone and earphones. She lies back down and gives one earbud to Beth, sharing.
Addy plays the song. Sealed with a Kiss by Bobby Vinton fills the earphones. It feels melancholic despite the more upbeat nature of the song. Beth is smiling, with teeth and all. She thinks she can hold it through the whole song. It falters halfway through the song as Addy isn’t even looking at her anymore and it was starting to hurt anyway.
The song comes to an end. “Play it again.” Beth says.
Addy plays it again and again and again, until their eyelids grow tired. Beth tells her to keep playing it even as they slowly drift into sleep. She does.
Flashes of summer camp run through Beth’s mind. Tears are rolling down her face but she’s too tired to wipe them away. Too tired and exhausted too think deeply on what she’s feeling. It’s feels like she’s swallowed a ball that’s now stuck in her throat. The space between her and Addy feels both too close and too far. She hates this. Every night her mind goes to the places she buries in the day. It’s always Addy clouding her mind. All she can think of is how she wants and needs and aches.
It’s a feeling that isn’t foreign in the slightest ways. Her mind feeds on her heart. She wants to dwell, to examine, but she can’t.
So instead, she sleeps.