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“Uh, just come inside.”
Ellie can feel the hesitance radiating from Dina’s voice. She places her hand on the small of Ellie’s back to guide her inside, and even though the gesture should be warm, it comes off as pitiful and concerned. She touches her like glass that will break if she squeezes too hard. That’s the moment that she knows something is wrong.
He’s giggling from the chair, holding JJ tightly. It should be endearing - she should be smiling. Her baby boy babbles incoherently in his arms and she twists her thumbs in impatient patience.
“Hey, Tommy.” She tries to feign excitement but it’s overburdened with anxiety.
“There you are!” He grins and she can’t match it.
Dina glances between them, wasting no time to pick up JJ with a series of coos and soft mutterings as the air grows thicker. Tommy stands shakily and Ellie can see all the marks. His missing eye, his tweaked leg, all choke the air in her throat. Painful reminders.
“Hey.”
“Hey.”
“It’s good to see you.”
Exchanging pleasantries lacks the pleasantness it should have. He’s her uncle by any stretch of the word, she shouldn’t wince when he hugs her. They fill the silence with JJ, the easiest topic, then Jackson, only to settle back onto the ice. Maria.
“She’s fine. We um… we’re taking some time apart.”
It seems any conversation falls into these pits now, the ones you can’t escape. The pain filling all the places that should be void of it. Ellie spares a glance back to Dina. The ground seems to creak and pop under her.
“Oh. I’m so sorry.”
“Nah. We talked about it a lot and uh, it’s what we both want.”
There’s a pause. If the chair didn’t squeak so loudly under his unsteady movements, she’s sure she’d hear the whistle of a baseball bat ready to strike.
“Okay… come sit. I got something to show you.”
Somehow, all the words that follow are so firm and confident. Unlike his tense small talk and heavy sighs, he’s comfortable in this air. Ellie, however, can’t seem to catch her breath.
“So I’ve been putting out feelers for months now.” All of his words patch together messily, her attention ebbing and flowing.
“A woman-”
“-California-”
“-built like an ox-”
“-scars-”
“Right here.”
“That’s got to be her.”
Each of her muscles gradually tenses as he continues, cold fingers trailing up her spine as images flash before her eyes in daydream-like chunks.
“We’re done with that, so…” Dina butts in, soothing JJ on her hip.
When Tommy’s gaze drifts back to her, there’s a demanding edge to it. She can hear the message he’s trying to convey to her but she swallows it down, sucking in the first breath she’s taken since he started talking.
“I’m sorry.” She whispers and her eyes trail back to Dina and JJ, glazy. “Tommy you can’t really be asking me to-”
“I’m not asking anything.”
Her eyebrow twinges in confusion for a moment.
“I’m fucking telling you - you promised me. There’s no asking necessary.” He spits and begins to stand up.
“Tommy that was before -”
“Before what Ellie? Before you abandoned that promise to live out here all cozy-like and play house with -”
The footstep creaks behind her as Dina steps forward, the swell of air filling her lungs to shout only to fall flat and quiet. Ellie blinks and she’s already standing, the flat of her hand smacked against the table.
“I’ve got a fucking family now Tommy.” She hisses. “I promised you before I met my son. You are asking something. You’re asking me to leave my wife. To leave my son.” Her voice threatens to crack but holds firm.
“Fine. I am asking that. Feel better? The only damn reason you’re even alive is because of Joel. You wouldn’t have any of this if it weren’t for him! And you’re gonna let her walk free?”
“YES.” She screams. “Yeah, I fucking am Tommy. She got what she deserved-”
“She deserved to die-”
“We don’t always get what we deserve Tommy.” She shakes her head. “You’re right. You didn’t deserve to lose your brother and your sight. Jesse didn’t deserve to die in that god damned theatre, and fuck-” Ellie breathes. “You want to talk about what we deserve? The world’s without a cure because I’m here. I don’t deserve any of what I have.”
Tommy scoffs and shakes his head but she continues.
“But I sure as hell am not going to let it go.” The rage and fire fade to a tearful scowl, her eyes puffing red. “And you don’t get to come here and demand I do.”
“Well, I sure as hell can’t go.” He snaps, hands gesturing wildly to the house around them - the home to everyone but him.
“Don’t.” Ellie shakes her head. “Just… christ, Tommy. Just… go home. Live your life and let us live ours.”
Tommy nearly growls as he paces to the door, muttering- fucking coward - under his breath. Dina seizes the moment of silence, practically throwing JJ into Ellie’s arms and storming out the screen door after the man.
“HEY!” She hollers, muffled by the walls between them. “Don’t bring that shit to my house ever again. Got it?”
Tommy shakes his head in response, grabbing the bridles of his horse. “You have fun pretendin’ out here. Don’t worry, I won’t bother your happy little family anymore.”
Dina watches as Tommy rides off through the golden fields towards the fading horizon line. Ellie, however, doesn’t. Bobbing JJ up and down on her hip, she faces away from the doors and windows. Walking back inside, Dina looks over Ellie with soft eyes. Soft music reaches her ears as she steps closer, and she realizes the music is coming from Ellie. She’s singing.
“If I ever were to lose you… I’d surely lose myself. Everything that I have found here… I’ve not found by myself…”
Dina winces at the soft breaks in her voice and the way her shoulders tremble.
“ Try and sometimes you’ll succeed… to make this man out of me. All of my stolen missing parts, I’ve no need for them anymore.”
Dina wraps her arms around her, stroking Ellie’s arm and breathing softly into the crook of her neck.
“I believe, and I believe cuz I can see. Our future days. Days of you and me.”
Ellie’s singing fizzles off and her hand thumbs at JJ’s hair. Softly humming, the singing has ceased but the soothing music carries on.
“So… wife huh?” Dina kisses her neck feather-light, whispering softly.
“Sorry. I was really upset. Wasn’t really thinking.” Ellie hushes and then lets out a light chuckle. “Wife has a lot more authority than-”
Dina twists her around to face her, capturing her lips with her own. She smiles gently and thumbs the tears away from Ellie’s cheek. The warmth of summer light breaks through the windows as the sun grows low in the sky.
“Don’t apologize.” She kisses her cheek where the tears have since faded. “I liked it. You were pretty hot…” Dina lets her hand trail down her shoulder.
“Maybe…” She trails off and lets her gaze drift down.
“Oh?” Ellie cracks a small smirk. “You want me to call you that?”
“I’d like to be your wife… yeah.” Dina chuckles in response. “I mean we are raising a kid together.”
“We are...” Ellie whispers into Dina’s hairline.
“I know I told you when he was born… but you are his mom too.” Dina hushes.
“I know.” Ellie smiles, the steam of the fight prior dissipating.
“We’re a happy little family aren’t we?”
Ellie smiles and presses her forehead against the shorter girl’s. JJ babbles happily, swinging his baby hands wildly.
“We are.”