Chapter Text
--------------
"You realize that's, like, the third one we've been to…" Dakota spoke up. He could literally see the steam coming off of Cavendish. He was not amused.
"None of these so-called therapists have any idea what they're talking about!" Cavendish replied firmly, balling his fists as they swung by his sides.
"Come on, it wasn't that bad.."
"Not that bad?! Were you even paying attention?"
---
“You see what I’m talking about? He doesn’t listen!” Dakota announced, arm outstretched, gesturing at his partner.
The two were seated on a couch across from the next professional counselor they could find, after dismissing the previous ones. She, Dr. Aeson, was taking notes and waiting patiently as the two of them had their conversation.
“I listen the proper amount! Perhaps if you had something worth saying...”
“And now you’re calling me worthless...” Dakota glared, “My partner, everyone…” He leaned back into the cushion and folded one leg over the other. He felt like they’d had this argument a million times.
“That is not what I am saying!”
“Really? Okay. Then what are you saying? Because what I’m hearing is that what I have to say isn’t important enough...”
“I’m saying I get really irritated when you make assumptions. I came here to work on things, but you obviously don’t care.”
“Please” Dakota leaned forward, “I care a lot more than you care, Mr. Runaway.”
“Oh, here we go again…I have already apologized” Cavendish rubbed his temples, “Ugh, I swear to time itself, sometimes, Dakota, You just make me want to…” He growled, getting in his personal space and made a strangling gesture.
“Not as much as I do.” Dakota leaned in close and poked at his shoulder.
“Gentlemen.” A voice cut in and they immediately looked in her direction., “I think we should just take a step back..Take a deep breath.” Both Dakota and Cavendish mirrored her as she demonstrated.
The two of them shared a glance, looking at each other with sympathetic eyes. They shared apologies and then faced forward as they were spoken to.
“I am hearing a lot of hostility…”
“Well….I wouldn’t quite call it hostile…” Cavendish said, adjusting his hat.
“You get very defensive when Dakota here says things you don’t want to hear…”
Cavendish side glanced Dakota, “Well, I can see who's the favorite, as per usual”
“There is no favorites playing. Dakota, you seem to have similar issues. You get angry, seemingly from feeling underappreciated. Am I right? ”
Dakota shrugged and leaned forward, “I mean, yeah. I guess.”
Cavendish’s face changed immediately. “But I do appreciate you!” He said and Dakota turned to meet his gaze. “A very lot.” He sighed and placed a hand on his shoulder, “I’m sorry I get so wound up and act so rash… I should say it more..”
“That’d be nice…” Dakota admitted, already feeling better. Cavendish was smiling at him, so that helped. They were on a good track, both feeling as though it was a good idea to come here. At least, they had, until they were blindsided by what came next.
“There seems to be a lot of built up tension between you two..” Dr. Aeson observed.
Dakota and Cavendish exchanged glances. Dakota shrugged and Cavendish nodded in agreement. Their relationship could be very tense at times. It’s to be expected. He and Dakota were two very different people. While it drove him mad sometimes, he still wouldn’t trade him for the world. That’s the entire reason they were here. He was glad someone was helping them get to the root of things.
“Ooh, that tension’s been there a while…” Dakota said, “How long you think? Cavendish?”
“Oh, definitely years. I can’t even count… When you know someone for so long, you’re bound to get a little tense, I should say…” Cavendish replied.
“I see..” She wrote something else down on her clipboard before continuing, “So, I guess what I am curious about, and this next question could be a little personal…”
“Bring it on. We came here for personal..” Dakota said, giving her the go ahead. Cavendish deferred to his partner’s judgement and they waited for the inquiry.
“...How long has it been since you’ve been intimate..?”
Both of their faces fell. Dakota had to readjust his glasses to keep them from falling down his nose and Cavendish ripped his hand away from Dakota’s person.
“I-Intimate? You mean, with another person?” Cavendish asked shakily.
“I highly doubt she meant with yourself…”Dakota commented. Cavendish wasn’t getting the point as usual.
“I mean to say with each other...It comes to my attention that perhaps your tense moods, which have led to what I can only assume a majority of your arguments, could stem from untapped desires." She turned to Dakota, which immediately alarmed him, "Would you say that lately you've been feeling undesired?"
Dakota did a double-take, feeling put on the spot and had a delayed reaction as though the question only finally finished processing in his brain, "What? You mean by him?" He blinked and then used both pointer fingers to gesture at Cavendish beside him, "This guy?? Sitting right next to me??? Cavendish? Cavendish." He shook his hands, "Hoooo. Trust me, lady. That is territory you do not want to enter.” Dakota needed a minute. He had not expected that to come out. Luckily for him, while he was having his moment, Cavendish decided to speak up.
Cavendish was wildly pointing back and forth between them, far less cool than Dakota had been. “Nonononono….Me and him aren’t...No...Us? No, there is not an us. I mean, of course, there is an us, but not that kind of us. No. Tell her, Dakota. Tell her…”
“I am still processing..” Dakota said, lifting a hand.
“Of course, I would not suggest that is the answer to all of your issues, but it is something worth exploring. Tell me, Cavendish, Honestly. Have you ever had any….romantic or sensual thoughts about your partner…?”
Cavendish’s eyes went wide and his face as red as Dakota’s tracksuit.
“Dakota! We are leaving!!” He announced, standing immediately, seizing Dakota’s wrist, who was barely prepared as he was yanked off the chair and towards the exit. He reminded Cavendish that they still had twenty minutes but it fell on deaf ears. He was too eager to get out of the building as quickly as possible.
---
Cavendish looked at him expectantly.
Dakota paused, trying to think of a way to soothe his partner. He definitely remembered what was said. He was there. The topic had been something he usually avoided and he should have known it would come out in therapy. Though, he was surprised the same observation had been made about Cavendish. That was a big conversation.
"You shouldn't get so upset. You're the one who said we needed to talk to someone."
"And you agreed." Cavendish injected.
"And I agreed." Dakota confirmed, placing a hand on his chest. "We both knew it might be a little uncomfortable...You can't just throw the towel in because you didn't like what they had to say...It’s a process."
"I'm not!" Cavendish fought. "Of course I expected some discomfort. You and I have been at this for years.."
"I think you're getting yourself too wound up. Take it easy. We knew stuff would be said…"
Cavendish threw up an arm, "Well, I didn't expect them to say that! Honestly, of all the preposterous things, actual professionals assuming the root of our problems is from some...some…"
"Unresolved desire to rail each other…" Dakota finished for him, sounding much too casual for Cavendish’s preference.
"Dakota!"
Dakota froze and raised his hands in defense. "What? I'm just repeating what they said!"
"That is not what they said." He replied.
Dakota waved a hand. "It's what they meant."
"Well, clearly, they couldnt be more wrong! I mean, just the idea is---" Cavendish struggled to find his words.
"Crazy" Dakota offered with urgency. Somehow, this was more awkward than the session had been. Now that it was out there, he felt pressed to put the topic back in the box. If not for himself, at least for Cavendish.
Cavendish pointed, "Yes! Exactly! It's crazy! To think, out of three counselors, all of them came to the same bizarre conclusion "
"To be fair, one of them was Doofenshmirtz.. I don't think he really counts. He's biased.."
"Biased? How?"
Dakota gritted his teeth, "Trust me, you don't wanna know.." He wouldn’t be elaborating on that. There was no reason Cavendish needed to know about what went on while he was away. The mess he was. How lost he’d been without him. Yikes, and the way he rambled on about how much he missed him to Doofenshmirtz. It was a no-brainer that he was biased. He had inside knowledge. He knew how Dakota actually felt about his partner.
"Ugh, still! The entire reason we went! We should be talking about all our issues!"
"Maybe that is one of our issues."
"Don't be absurd.."
"I don't know, Cavendish...Do you have any unrealized feelings for me??" Dakota asked teasingly, batting his eyelashes and making a face platter.
Cavendish hesitated but his answer was what could be expected, "Well, obviously not!" His cheeks lightly tinted. He placed a hand on his chest, "I think I would know." He waved him off like the mere suggestion was the silliest thing he’d ever heard.
Dakota stopped walking, letting Cavendish get a little ahead before speaking again.
“Go out with me…Let’s find out.” Dakota said.
The words immediately got Cavendish to stop in his tracks. He glanced over his shoulder to see Dakota had stopped far before he had, standing there with his hands in his pockets. He waited a moment and then made a full turn to face him. He was certain he must have misheard. “I...beg your pardon?”
Dakota shrugged, “Let’s do it. One date. You and me.” Cavendish seemed to be at a loss for words. He’d definitely caught him off guard. To be honest, Dakota hadn’t been expecting his boldness until it came out of his mouth. Too late to take it back now, and he sort of didn’t want to, anyhow. He was intrigued.
Cavendish’s brow furrowed, looking like he was unsure if he was understanding what Dakota was saying, or perhaps was just confused by it. “...I’m sorry, did you--Are you asking me out..?”
Dakota lifted a hand to scratch his head, “...I think so..?” He was beginning to wonder if it had been the right move or not. Luckily, Dakota had always been pretty good at thinking on his feet. “I mean, why not? You’re so wrapped up in what those people said. Why not prove it? A little research. No, more like a field test! Huh? You like those!”
Cavendish lit up when he seemed to catch up. “Why, Dakota! That’s brilliant! Yes! Yes, of course! We can disprove them all at once!” He raised both fists, full of vigor. “Then, we can get back to our actual issues!”
“Great!” Dakota said, attempting to match his enthusiasm. He supposed he should be a little disappointed that Cavendish wanted so badly to disprove what three different professionals had concluded to, but, eh, it was Cavendish. He knew how he operated by now. They’d been together for so long. This was their dance. Dakota knew there was something there. At least, he felt like he knew… What had stopped him in the past was never being too sure. Imagine if he were merely overanalyzing. Oh, boy.. This was one risk he couldn’t gamble on, especially when there were no more do-overs.
Still, the idea that he actually had a date, a ‘date’ date, with Cavendish without consequences made him feel giddy inside.
“Yes, Dakota. Let’s go on a ‘date’” Cavendish said, abusing air quotes.
“Okay. But remember, I asked you out. So, I get to choose” Dakota said, poking him lightly with a finger.
“Yes, alright..” Cavendish agreed and folded his hands. “So, shall we go…?”
“What? You mean now?” Dakota raised a brow.
“Yes..?” Cavendish replied with uncertainty.
“We can’t go now…”
“What? Why not?” Cavendish deflated a little.
“Obviously...It’s a date! Dates don’t just happen the second after you make ‘em...There’s planning and all that extra stuff.”
“What extra stuff?”
“You know, extra stuff…” Dakota actually didn’t know what he meant, either, but it bought him time. If they were going to go out, he didn’t want to make it seem like every other day. They spent a lot of time with one another. It had to stand out. And, of course, he couldn’t tell Cavendish any of this because it would spoil the surprise element. “You have been on a date before…” It sounded like both a question and a statement. He saw the defensiveness grow in Cavendish’s features.
“Of course I have!” Cavendish folded his arms. His expression was less intimidating with the flush of embarrassment.
“Oh my god, this is your first one..” The revelation dawned on Dakota.
“It isn’t!”
“It is. It totally is!” Dakota’s face broke out in a smile, accompanied by a few chuckles. Cavendish probably wanted to hit him, but he just could not help messing with him. It was adorable. True, he could have just gotten him flustered by putting him on the spot, but if this really was his first date, Dakota couldn’t help but be pleased it was with him.
Cavendish rubbed his temples, regretting all of his life choices that brought him to this moment. “Why did I ever agree to this…?” He mumbled to himself.
"I still don't see why we can't just do it now and get it out of the way.."
"Hey, you want it to be authentic, don't you?"
"Yes, I suppose.." Cavendish said reluctantly, tapping the bottom of his chin.
"Authenticity means we wait.."
"How long?" Cavendish resigned.
"I don't know...a week?
"A week?!" Cavendish burst out, giving him an incredulous look, "You're going to forget."
"I'm not going to forget."
---